By Waddie Greywolf

Chapter 32

I lay in my bed with someone or something gently holding my hand.  I didn’t dare open my eyes for fear it would become fearful and vanish again.  I tried to communicate through my hand I wasn’t afraid,— then, I had another idea.  I spoke to it very quietly.

“I’m going to open my eyes now.  Please don’t be afraid and go away.”

I heard the spirit make a deep sighing sound.  I slowly opened my eyes to look.  I could see it was the same man; however, his face was still hidden from me.  I could see him a little better than the last time and the shape of his face was familiar, as if I knew him from somewhere.  I looked at him holding my hand.

“Can I help you?  Do you need something?  What do you want of me?”

I could see a faint smile cross his lips, but he didn’t try to speak.

“Can you take your helmet off so I can see your face.”

He slowly shook his head, ‘no,’ and I could swear I saw tears running down his cheeks.

“Can you come to me again in my dreams and tell me what you want?”

Again he slowly shook his head, ‘no.’

I was frustrated. He only stayed for a minute or so longer;  then, started to fade.  I begged him not to go,— to stay with me for a while longer.  I don’t know why I asked him to stay.  There was just something about the feeling I had when he was standing there.  Once again he vanished.  He didn’t come to me that night in my dreams.

* * * * * * *

I was still in a good mood the next day working with little Gip and Waddie Buck; however, I was a bit more reserved than the day before.  They both noticed it.  We took a break in the middle of the afternoon and had some more of the cooler of lemonade Cindy made for us.

“Some’um on yore’ mind, cowboy?”  little Gip asked me, “You been pretty quiet most of the day.”

“Yeah, brother,— you mad at us or some’um?”  Waddie Buck chimed in.

“Naw, guys,— it’s jes’ I had a bad dream last night, and I been think’n on it all day.  J’ever have one a’ them dreams what seems so real you could swear it was?”

“Yeah,— .”  They both nodded and agreed.

“Well, I’m jes’ glad it weren’t some’um stupid we said or done.” said little Gip.  

“Naw,— don’t never think that.  Don’t think either of you men would be capable of making me feel bad or mad at cha.’  I apologize, I guess I ain’t been the best to work with today.”

“Hell, we got jes’ as much work done as we did yesterday,— maybe more.  We’ll have this job finished by the end of the week, for sure.”  Said Waddie Buck.  His brother agreed with him. “Y’ain’t bother’n us none, brother, we’s jes’ concerned about chu.’”

“Thanks, guys,— I’ll be better tomorrow.”

“Must a’ been one hell of a dream.” commented little Gip.

“Yeah,— it was.”  I replied.

* * * * * * *

We worked until the sheriff rode out to get us, then rode back to the barn with him to clean up for supper.  Once again he was all compliments about how much we got done and agreed we’d probably be finished tomorrow.  I was so tired I really just wanted to clean up and go to bed, but I knew better than to go without food.  When you’re working that hard everyday you need the food to fuel your body, so I walked up to the house like the saddle weary cowpoke I was.  Gip saw me coming and held the back screen door for me.  He was grinning real big at me knowing I was tired.

“You okay, Son?”  He asked.

“Won’t lie to you, Sheriff,— I’m tired.  My ass is dragging.”

Gip laughed.

“Good for you!  You won’t be so exhausted when you start work for the Lazy 8.  Don’t feel alone.  I had to raise my voice at the boys to get them to clean up for supper.  They were ready to drop in their tracks.  I’s on my way out to your coach to make sure you came up for dinner.  You men need your food.”

“Thanks, Sheriff.”  

We went into the dinning room where everyone was waiting.  We joined hands, Gip said a small prayer, and sat down to eat.

“There’s a rodeo two towns away from us this weekend.  It’s a little larger rodeo than ours was and pays a good bit more money than our town could afford. You men interested in going?”

Rodeo?  Did he just say rodeo?  Gip smiled at us knowing he wouldn’t get any arguments.  Suddenly, I didn’t feel quite so tired, and I noticed little Gip and Waddie Buck straightened up in their chairs like they just woke up.

“I’d sure like to go.”  Said little Gip.  Waddie Buck didn’t say anything.

“I wouldn’t mind going, either, Sir.”  I added my two cents.  I noticed big Gip was particularly watching his younger boy.

“How ‘bout chu, Son?”  Gip asked Waddie Buck.

“Who’s gonna’ be rope’n with who?”  He asked looking at his dad.

“I thought we’d let little Gip and Casey rope as a team and you’n me’ud  team up this time.”

Waddie Buck’s face brightened as a big smile came across his handsome young face.

“Fine.  I’d like that,  Dad.  I’d like that a lot. I don’t never git to rope too much with you.  Sure,— I’d love to go.”  He responded.  

“Good,— I’ll take off early tomorrow, ride out and help you men finish up.  We’ll knock off early, have a bite to eat, load the ponies and leave tomorrow evening.  We’ll take our motor coach.”

“Great!”  We all agreed.

* * * * * * *

That evening I was sitting in my trailer.  I just showered and was getting ready to go to bed when a thought came into my head.

‘I wonder if my little brother’s contacted Griz yet?’

‘Yes, he did, Mr. Casey.’

‘Oh Lord,— it’s good to hear from you, Griz.  Please don’t call me ‘Mr.,’ Griz.  I know you respect me, and I hope you know I love and respect you, too.’

‘I love you, too, Casey.’

‘That’s better, big man.  How’s things with you?’

‘I’m alone in my den this evening, but I ain’t lonely.  I’m happy and content.  I would like to see you again sometime.  My den is always open to you.’

‘That’s sweet, Griz, and you don’ t know how good that sounds to me right now.  Master Waddie’s gone on with his run, and he’ll be starting a new life with Mr. Titus as his slave.  I couldn’t be happier for them; however it has left me a bit blue.’

‘Don’t be down, Casey,— there’s a lot of good folks who love and care about you.  Your dad is a treasure.  Bubba Logan let me share yore’ daddy one night, and he’s a good man.  Cain’t remember when I unloaded as much as I did that night.’

‘I’m proud of my dad and you’re right, he is a treasure.  I guess I’m missing him and my brothers a lot.’

‘But chu’ got some wonderful things what are beginning to happen in your life.  Bubba Logan tells me you been having a visitor.’

‘Yes, Sir,— I was falling asleep last night when I felt him take my hand. I told him not to be afraid or vanish.  I opened my eyes and talked to him for a couple of minutes, but he never responded except for a deep sigh; then, he vanished.  I still didn’t get a good look at him, but there’s a warm feeling comes over me when he’s around. I know he don’t mean me no harm.  He ain’t an evil spirit.  There’s  something very sad but familiar about him.’

‘Why do you think that is, Casey?  Who do you think he might be?  You all ready know in your heart who he is, but chur’ not letting your brain hear your heart.  Listen to your heart, Son.  What does it tell you?’

I started crying.  I don’t know why, other than the soft, quiet way Griz insisted I all ready knew the answer;— I all ready knew who the man was.  I looked deep into my heart, and I saw him standing there in his military fatigues without his helmet.  I saw a man of great sorrow; a man if infinite grief; a man of a gentle nature, but strong spirit, with tears streaming down his handsome, confused face as he looked pleadingly back at me. It was like looking into a mirror at myself dressed in military fatigues, but it wasn’t me; it was the spirit of my Uncle Seth Quee.

It powerfully flashed across my mind in an instant.  The revelation flooded into my soul and really set me off.  I broke down into heavy sobs.  Griz never said a word.  He didn’t have to.  He knew I understood who the apparition was.  Griz was still with me. He witnessed everything.  I could feel his strong presence almost like he was physically there.  He had his giant,  mental arm around me pulling me up close to him.

‘Feel better, cowboy?  Ya’ know,— even cowboys need to cry once in a while.’  He stated as a fact.

‘Yeah,— thanks, big man.  I needed that.  I ain’t real sure why, but I feel  better.  Griz,— I feel so bad for him.’

‘That’s why you were crying, Casey.  You know he’s bewildered, confused, and hurting.  He’s reaching out to you.’

‘Can I help him, Griz?  I’m willing to do anything I can to ease his pain.’

‘Yes, there is something you can do.  He knows you’ll help him, but he ain’t got the strength right now to talk with you about it, but hopefully,— he soon will.’

‘Why is he coming to me, Griz?  Do you know?’

‘It’s all inside you, Casey,— the answers to those questions.  You need to answer them for yourself just like you done a minute ago. Other things will be revealed to you later as you need them.  I could tell you everything, but it wouldn’t have the same impact on you as self discovery.  You have to live this moment in your life for yourself and for your uncle.’

‘He’s lost.’ I told Griz without thinking, ‘He’s weighted down with guilt, sorrow and grief over what he done to his dad.’

‘Good,— that’s right, — but the most important thing,— the greater connection between you?’  Griz gently probed.

‘He’s me.’  A fleeting revelation crossed my mind

He never left me for a moment, but Griz let my statement sit for several minutes until I realized the full impact of my evanescent epiphany.

‘He is, — but he ain’t.  He’s a part of you, Casey.  There’s a difference.  He is you, but it’s only a tiny spark of his soul he gave you in your mother’s womb the night he died in Nam. You recognize that spark as part of you and you’re right, your Uncle Seth contributed to the spark of your beginning; however, you also have a strong spark from your dad and your beautiful momma.

T’ain’t many men walk’n ‘round with souls what’s got the spark from three strong, good people.  I knew’d there was some’um special ‘bout chu’ the minute I tried to touch your mind and you blocked me.  Only had that happen a couple a’ times, and they weren’t all human neither.  One was  an elephant named Ms. Sophie who used to live with us here on the ranch.  She learned how to block me out of her mind.  She didn’t do it much;  just when she didn’t wanna’ hear some’um she didn’t like.

You and your Uncle Seth are closer than brothers.  You’re closer than identical twins.  It was his gift to you, your dad and mom, Casey.  A part of him will always dwell in your heart.  That makes you a part of him as well.’

‘You mean,— I’m my uncle reincarnated?  I’m a clone of him?’

‘No!  No,— that ain’t it a’ tall!  You’re your own man, Casey.  You’re Casey Longhorn. You always will be. He could only give you a tiny part of himself, a spark for you to build on, but in doing so, he couldn’t get to the other side; he wasn’t a complete spirit. He didn’t crossover when he should’ve.  They came for him, but he refused to go with them.  He never counted on dying in Nam and thought he’d have time afterward to make things right with his dad. The arrogance of youth was his undoing. There’s a lesson in that.

He’s been roaming all these years hoping against hope for a miracle to gain back what he lost so’s he might be whole again and crossover. To do that, your uncle has to hear his dad forgive him his trespass against him, and you must give him a spark of your well developed soul to make him whole again. His spirit don’t even know it, but you’re his miracle, Son.’

‘Why didn’t he jes’ go to his dad and ask his forgiveness?  Why hasn’t he come to me sooner?’

‘Our Father wouldn’t let ‘em.  He has a lesson he wants Seth Quee to learn. He has a lesson he wants your granddad to learn.  He has a lesson for your dad, and He has one for you.  He also has a couple of lessons for several other folks I can’t tell you about right now.’

‘I won’t ask how you know, Griz.  I know how you know, and I’m grateful for your help.’

‘He told me you’d know and understand; said ju’ was a good man, Casey. He loves you a lot, and He told me to tell you, not to worry about chur’ dad,— you’re doing the right thing;— you’re following your heart; you’re doing His will right now.’  Griz said with a smile in his voice.

‘Will I be able to communicate with my uncle?’

‘Yes, but we have to help you with that.  Ask everyone you know,— except your dad, of course,— to pray for your uncle.  Ask our Father to give Seth Quee the strength he needs to communicate with you; ask Him to forgive Seth his arrogance, his lack of faith and to allow you to help him.  Don’t be afraid to ask Him for a miracle, Casey,— He specializes in them.

I’ll talk to Him on your and Seth’s behalf, but you must talk to him, too.  Have my good buddy, Bubba Logan and Dwayne talk to him.  Have Dwayne’s dad talk to him; that old cowboy and our Old Man is on a first name basis.  Ask Bubba Logan to explain what’s needed to his dad and Sticker.  Ole Sticker’s pretty high on the Old Man’s list of good men.  Ask Sheriff Claymore and his family to help.  They’ll be glad to, and, of course, ask Bubba and his boys.  Our Old Man thinks pretty highly of them men, too.  It won’t take long.  Seth Quee will understand what’s happening, and as he starts to gain strength and comprehension, he’ll become less confused.’

‘How can I thank you, Griz?’

‘You all ready done done it, cowboy.  You freely gimme’ your love without expectations,— and I hope to share  more with you.’

‘You will, bear man,— I promise,— you will. How will I give my uncle a spark of my soul, Griz?’

‘Don’t chu’ worry none ‘bout that.  When it comes time,— you’ll know,— and it will be done.  Our Father will take care of that.’

‘I love you, Griz.’

‘I love you, too, Casey.  Goodnight.’

‘Goodnight, bear man,— and thanks again.’

* * * * * * *  

The next day I was walking on a cloud.  I was in great spirits.  I was up earlier than usual and was in the kitchen helping Cindy before the rest of the family was up.  The Claymore girls, Ruby Rose, the oldest and Linda Sue, the youngest drifted downstairs to help their mother, but she waved them away.

“That’s okay,— ya’ll go get dressed.  I got enough help. Casey and me,— we’uns got breakfast under control.”  Cindy used the vernacular to be funny.

She grinned and winked at me. I smiled at her, lowered my head and blushed bright red.  That got a giggle from Cindy, she started me giggling until we were holding each other laughing.  Gip walked into the room.

“Am I interrupting some’um, here?”  He asked raising an eyebrow in a jesting manner.

“You sure are!”  Shot back Cindy.  “Best laugh I’ve had in a while, watching Casey turn nine shades of red when I winked at him.”

Gip laughed at Cindy, walked over to her and gave her a quick kiss.

“Well, good morning to the both of you.  What chu’ doing up so early, cowboy?”

“I had two visitors last night, Sheriff.  I’m jes’ so excited about what’s happening and what’s gonna’ happen,— I couldn’t sleep no more,— I got up early.”

“Here,— on the ranch,— they came to your coach?”  asked Cindy. She was amazed anyone could get by the dogs or the patrol geese unnoticed.

“It weren’t people, Mrs. Claymore,— well, it was but it weren’t.”

“Uhhh, I have a strange feeling I know about this.  You told me ‘bout chore’ little brother, Sidney Wainright’s boy, and I have to guess the other must be Griz.  He visits me once or twice a year.  Most times when I’m down or feel’n sorry for myself. He comes to me and kicks me in the butt, but he does it in a kind, understanding way.  He’s a good man. I know he walks with God.  He spooks Cindy,— she won’t let him talk to her no more.”

“Lord, Casey,  I got enough going on in my head.— I don’t need nobody in there talk’n to me.  I jes’ couldn’t get used to the cold shivers running up and down my spine ever’ time he done it.”  She threw back her pretty head and laughed.  “Oh, and by the way,— I’m tired a’ you calling me ‘Mrs. Claymore.’  It makes me feel old, and no woman likes to feel like she’s get’n old.   ‘Sides, you’re family now,— either call me ‘Cindy’ or ‘Mom,’ either   will do nicely.

“Thanks, Cindy.  I know what chu’ mean about Griz.  It was startling for me’n my brother at first, but now we’s so use to Logan dropping in on us at the most inopportune moment we jes’ learned to accept it; however, it comes in handy once in a while.  My brother Dwayne learned how to lock him out if’n he didn’t want him roaming around in his head, and he taught me to do it.  Now, I can lock my little brother or Griz out if’n I don’t want them in my head. You’re right, Sheriff, one was Griz, but the other was someone else who’s trying to communicate with me from beyond.”   

 “Oh, dear Lord,— I hope Griz is helping you with it?”

“Yes, Sir.  I ain’t heard from Griz since we left Tucson.  I suppose I could’ve.  All I’d have to do is send out a thought in his direction, and he’d pick it up.  I jes’ never thought about it; however, this spirit’s been coming to me since Tuesday night.  Last night I woke up and he was holding my hand.”

“I don’t know if I wanna’ hear anymore of this.  Chills are starting to run up my spine.” said Cindy.

“You have to, Mom Claymore.  I’m gonna’ ask you and all my new family, here, to help me.”  I pleaded with her.

“Do you know who the spirit is, Son?”

“Yes, Sir,— Griz done helped me understand who he is and what he wants. It’s the spirit of my Uncle Seth, Sheriff.”

“Oh, my Lord,— it makes perfect sense though.”

By that time little Gip, Waddie Buck, Ruby, and Linda Sue were standing around the table.  They heard just enough of our conversation to whet their interest.  Gip took Cindy’s and my hand and nodded for his children to do the same.  We all joined hands around the table.

“Would you like to say ‘grace’ this morning, Son?”

“Thanks, Sheriff, I would.  Heavenly Father, bless this food we are about to eat; let it nourish our hearts, minds and spirits to live each day being the best person we can in our work, play and for each other.  We pray for the poor and sick. Heal them and give them comfort, Father.  We thank you for your many blessings, your goodness to us, and bringing us together as family.  Also, Father, we pray for my Uncle Seth Quee,—” I felt Gip squeeze my hand and heard him let out a small sigh, “forgive him his trespass against his dad, Holy Father; forgive him his sin of arrogance and lack of faith; give him the strength he needs to tell me how I can help him, Lord?  We ask these thing in the name of your son, Jesus.  Amen.”

“Amen.” Echoed the rest of the Claymore family.

“Oh, my God,— excuse me, Lord,” little Gip looked to the ceiling and apologized to God, “your Uncle Seth came to you?  No wonder you were bummed out yesterday.  It was weighing heavy on your mind,— right, brother?”  

“Yeah, bro,— but, I didn’t know who he was yesterday.  I didn’t know until last night.  I’m sorry I didn’t tell ya’ll then, but I though chu’ might think I was crazy.”

“Not us, brother, we done hear’d enough stories from our dad, his dad and our great granddad to know there’s some pretty miraculous things what happened to them.  We know Griz, too.  We know what he’s capable of.” said Waddie Buck.

We ate breakfast, and I was asked a lot of questions.  Little Gip and Waddie Buck heard the story of Curtis Langtry’s youngest boy raping him, but obviously the Claymore girls hadn’t.

“What traspass did your uncle do against his dad that was so bad, Casey?”  Ruby Rose asked.

The sheriff came to my rescue.

“You know in the bible how the word “ to know” someone means a little more than just being acquainted with or recognizing them?”

The girls nodded their head they understood and began to get a blank look on their face.

“Curtis Langtry,— Casey’s granddad,— kicked Casey’s dad, Vince Langtry,  out of his home before he finished high school for a couple of sexual indiscretions.  Seth Quee, Vince’s brother and Casey’s uncle thought his dad was a hypocrite.  In support of his brother, whom he loved very much, Seth Quee left his father’s house one night, never to return; however, before he did,— he roped,— hog tied,— and ‘knew’ his dad.”

There was dead silence around the table as the meaning of Gip’s words sunk in.  The girls didn’t offer any comments.  They just shook their heads in confusion.  Gip misread their negative head movement and thought their action might be one of condemnation.

“Now,— let me make one thing perfectly clear,— no matter what you’ve read or heard about such things,— no one in this house will judge another. We’ve raised you kids to be tolerant and understanding.  We’ve taught you to love unconditionally and to be forgiving. I expect that of you now.  Is that understood by all?’

“Yes, Sir.  Yes, Dad.”  They all replied.

“How can we help, Casey?”  Cindy asked.

“I need each of you to pray for my uncle. Talk to God, ask Him to forgive my uncle his sins and give him strength to do what must be done for his redemption.  He’s lost and hasn’t crossed over.

I went on to explain what Griz helped me discover and they were amazed.  Like many things of mystery, my story was too bizarre not to be true.  I know Gip, Cindy and the boys believed me.  Little Gip and Waddie Buck were a bit more worldly wise than their sisters; however, Ruby was, by far, the more understanding of the two girls. Linda Sue was sweet, but while she was intelligent, she was more simple of mind; she impressed me as being fertile ground for the psycho-pathological seeds of rabid fundamentalism; however,  while she was living in her father’s house;  she would respect his wishes.

They all graciously agreed to help me, and I thanked them for me and my uncle.  I sent e-mails to Dwayne and Logan.  They agreed to help and got Rance, Sticker and Sidney to agree to help.  I knew Logan would get Sheriff Bard to help.  He and the sheriff were in tight with each other.  The sheriff called Logan a couple of times a month just to check in on him and most times,  because he had some problem he wanted Logan’s advice or help with.  

Dwayne contacted Lamar who personally sent me a wonderful e-mail telling me how proud of me he was, and he would be honored to help.  Dwayne also got Frank and Curley involved, who got Bodey and Flynn to help.  Dwayne also asked Spencer and Donna Winchester to help.  They were thrilled to be considered a small part of the whole of a movement to help someone dear to them.

I sent a brief e-mail to Bubba’s boys telling them I was looking forward to spending a weekend with them, and I needed to talk to them and their dad about something.  I didn’t elaborate, because I wanted the sheriff and his boys with me when I told them.  Once again I thought they might think I was a nut job.

Griz got everyone at the Broken Arrow ranch involved, and perhaps it was my imagination, but after about a week I began to feel like I had a flood of energy.  My emotional and spiritual strength was at an all time high.  I felt like I was walking on a cloud most of the time.  Even mundane work around the ranch took on a whole new beauty and meaning.  I was beginning to see the importance in work, life and the wonderful mystery of loving friendships.

* * * * * * *

Good to his word, the sheriff rode out a little after noon to give us a hand with the last of the cattle. He brought some extra goodies and more iced tea  Cindy made for us.  It was a good thing.  It was a hot day and we were consuming a lot of fluids.

Gip wasn’t a man to sit on his pony and direct work.  He was a hands-on cowboy and worked just as hard as any of his men.  By the end of the day, he was as dirty or dirtier than we were.  We finished the job and Gip was elated.  It had been a ball busting week for little Gip, Waddie Buck and me, but it was done.  We were somewhat smug and proud of ourselves.  Our efforts didn’t go unrewarded.  The sheriff gave each of us a big hug and a kiss on our dirty faces.  We were all looking forward to a weekend of relaxation and  play.  We were headed for the rodeo.  We rode back to the barn in good spirits.  We rubbed down our ponies, feed them and put them in their stalls.  We wanted them to get a chance to relax before we loaded them in the trailer and took off for the rodeo.

That evening at supper we held hands around the table as usual and Gip said a prayer that included a plea to God to help my Uncle Seth.  I’m sure God heard it, because it sure melted my heart, and it began to run out of my eyes. After we all said ‘amen’ I quietly thanked him.

“For what, cowboy?  We’s family now, what concerns one concerns us all.”

“He’s right, Casey.”  added Cindy, “We’ll do what we can to help.”

“That’s right.”  supported all the kids.

“I’m sure obliged to ya’ll for taking me in like ya’ done and agreeing to help.  It means a lot.”

Nothing more was said, but I knew that evening a prayer for my Uncle Seth Quee would be sent out from every mouth setting there.

We finished supper, and I helped clean the dishes afterwards.  Cindy finally kicked me out the back door to go get cleaned up and ready to go to the rodeo.  It didn’t take me too long and I returned to find the sheriff and his boys loading the ponies.  I threw my overnight kit in the door of their coach and helped load the horses.  We had some problems with the sheriff’s big stallion; however, when it came time for Rocky to get into the trailer, I just whistled,  and he got in without hesitation.  Gip and his boys were impressed.

It was about a two hour drive to the rodeo, but we arrived before everyone settled down for the night.  Who should meet us as we arrived?  Who should just happen to be at the same rodeo?  Bubba and his boys.  They didn’t say anything in their e-mail about attending the rodeo; however, I did mention in mine we would be at this rodeo.  They were happy to see us and showed us their motor coach.  It was a nice one. It was bigger than the Claymore’s or the double ‘R.’  Bubba was proud of it.

We got the ponies unloaded and placed in stalls.  We gave them a little extra to eat as a treat for being cooped up in the trailer for a couple of hours.  They didn’t complain about the extra oats.

We visited with Bubba, Vince, and Seth Quee for a while, but we were really tired and excused ourselves to retire to the Claymore trailer.  Gip decided who would bunk it in with whom.  He would bunk with Waddie Buck and little Gip and I would bunk it in together.  For some reason I noticed the sheriff was paying a lot of attention to his youngest boy this weekend.  I thought it was probably a good thing.  I felt Waddie Buck lived somewhat in the shadow of his older brother.  He probably needed more of his dad than little Gip did at the moment.

Bunking it in with little Gip was no problem for me. He was a most handsome man and a knock out of a cowboy.  I didn’t have any worries about little Gip wanting to play around either.  We were both so tired we slept almost all the way to the rodeo.  We did, however, hold each other and swap a little spit before we said ‘goodnight’ and went to sleep.  Before I got into bed I noticed Gip closed the door to the back bedroom where he and Waddie Buck were staying.

* * * * * * *

“I ain’t never know’d ju’ to wear underwear neath yore’ Wranglers, Son.  Since when you started wearing them things?”  Gip asked his boy, Waddie Buck.

“I usually don’t, but mom bought me and Gip several pair to wear when we go to church.  I thought I’d wear ‘em this weekend in case I had to sleep with someone; it might be more respectful.”

“That’s a nice considerate though, but chu’ plan on wearing them things to bed with yore’ old man?” Gip gently asked Waddie Buck like he was a little disappointed.

“Yes, Sir.  I don’t wear nothing when I’m at home;— you taught me that, but I thought maybe I should when I’m bunk’n in with you.”

“Why,— I ain’t got none on?  It’s jes’ you and me, Son.  We’re two grown men. We seen each other naked lots a’ times.  I ain’t never hidden my body from you or taught you to be ashamed of yours.”

“I know, Dad,— I ain’t ashamed of my body,  but that sort of thing jes’ seems to come easier for you and Gip  than it does me.”

“Yeah, cain’t say’s I ain’t noticed it,— didn’t know what to do about it, — but, it’s okay,— I love you, boy.  I  love you ever’ bit as much as Gip or your sisters.  I guess it’s my own damn fault, — I’ve allowed you to drift away from me, and maybe I ain’t given you the love’n you need and deserve.  I was afraid to until I thought you was old enough.  I’d like to try to do something about it, if’n you’ll let me.  So,— shuck them damn things off and crawl in here next to your old man.”

“I’m afraid to, Dad.”

“Why?  Because you’re afraid you’ll git chore’self a big ole hard-on laying next to yore’ daddy?”

“Yes, Sir.”  Buck said quietly.

“Well,— if’n you didn’t I’d be worried.  I certainly ain’t afraid of my old dick git’n hard holding you close to me.  In fact, I expect it will.  It’s all ready start’n to grow jes’ think’n on it.  Now, do what chore’ daddy tells you, Son, and come to bed.”  Gip gently ordered his boy.

“Yes, Sir.”  Buck replied as he shucked off his underwear.

He turned away from his dad’s gaze shoved his shorts down.  Set back on the bed and lay down with his back toward his dad.  Gip lay there for a minute not knowing what to do.  His big cowboy heart was breaking.  He knew his boy wanted and needed his love, but he seemed so afraid.  Finally he decided he had to take the bull by the horns and be bold about it.  He had to make the first move to show his boy he really meant what he said.

“How a’ my gonna’ make a little love to my boy if’n he don’t roll over here and let his old man hold him for a bit.”  Gip whispered to Buck as he brushed his big, bushy mustache against his neck and stole a kiss.

Buck rolled over into his dad’s big, cowboy arms and began to cry.  Gip held him tightly, and just let him get it out.  He petted him, stroked him and bussed a kiss or two around his cheek and neck.

“Shuuu,— it’s all right, Son,— yore’ daddy’s got chu, now.  Ain’t no need to feel scared of your old man.  I’d never hurt chu’ nor allow anyone else to ever hurt chu’ neither.  You’re my beautiful boy,— my precious son,— and yore’ daddy loves you.  Ain’t nothing wrong with how you feel.  Yore’ old man wouldn’t be hold’n you right now if’n he thought there was anything wrong with it.

Damned if that big thing a’ yours done got hard;— hard as a rock.”

Gip gently reached down and grabbed hold of his boy’s hard dick.  Buck stiffened.  Gip grabbed his own hard dick and held them together with his hand.  Suddenly, Waddie Buck relaxed into the bed with a deep sigh.

“Kiss yore’ old man, boy.”

Buck slowly began to kiss his dad.  Gip was above him and lowered his mouth onto Buck’s and slowly slipped his tongue into his boy’s mouth.   Waddie Buck began to moan and move underneath his dad.  They embraced in an extended kiss that seemed like an eternity to Buck.  It was an momentary eternity, a microcosm, of excitement and bliss for the young man. He dreamed of this night, this moment, holding his dad close, loving him and being loved by him; however, he never dreamed it might happen.

Waddie Buck shared sex and some love with his older brother a number of times, but he didn’t go out of his way to initiate it between them.  He always let little Gip take the lead to let him know when he wanted him.  He was afraid to ask his brother for love.  It was even more so with his dad.

He suspected his dad and little Gip had probably messed around with each other, but he was afraid to ask his older brother.  He didn’t want him to know how much he loved their dad. Most of all, he didn’t want anyone to know how he wanted to love his dad.

Buck’s whole body began to shiver and shake, but Gip knew their bodies were much too hot for him to be shivering from cold.  He knew his boy was near climax.  Gip broke off their kiss and before Buck could respond, Gip had his mouth around his boy’s dick and pumped it twice with his big, rough hand.  Waddie Buck exploded into his dad’s mouth a huge pent up load that almost drowned Gip, but the sheriff swallowed his son like the trooper he was.

Gip moved up to take Buck into his arms and gently kissed him again.  Buck was in a nether world of bliss. He could taste his own come in his dad’s mouth and it almost sent him over the hill again. He certainly didn’t expect what just happened, but he was grateful for the experience and loved his father all the more.

“How was that, Son?”  Gip smiled at him.

“Unbelievable, Dad.  Fantastic!  Would ju’ let me take you?”

“I’d be right proud for you to, Son.  You don’t have to, if’n you don’t want to.”

“I know that, Dad.  You don’t know how badly I want to take you.  I’ve fantasized about it for years.”

“Yeah, I used to fantasize about my old man and my big brother.  Later I come to find out the man I thought was my dad, yore’ great granddaddy, was really my granddad and my brother, Waddie, was my real dad.  Anyway, I used to dream of laying in between the two of them making love to both.”

“Really, I never knew that?”

“It ain’t something you go around telling a lot of folks.  Nobody needs to know more’n you’re willing to let them know.  I still suck my old man off ever’ chance I git.”

“You and Granddad Waddie?”

“Yes, Son.  We shared a bedroll many nights when I was hiding from the draft in the late sixties and early seventies.”

“Kiss me again, Dad.  I wanna’ taste your come.”

The men kissed another gentle but passionate kiss.  Buck moved down to his dad’s large, erect cock and took him in his mouth.  His dad’s dick had to be the sweetest thing Buck ever tasted.  He ran his tongue up, under and around his dad’s foreskin and took his wonderful masculine flavors for his own.  He began to suck and move his head around on his dad’s cowboy dick.  He picked up a little speed and was amazed at how much of his dad’s dick he could swallow.  From time to time he would gag, but Gip would gently put his hand on his head and tell him it was okay; take it slow and easy.

It didn’t take Buck long to hear his dad’s breathing change.  He knew his dad must be close and redoubled his efforts to take him to climax.  He felt his dad grab his head with both his hands and push his cock as far down his boy’s throat as he thought Waddie Buck could take it and spilled his seed.

Buck was not prepared for the gusher that erupted in his throat.  He choked most of it down, but come dripped out the corners of his mouth and came up and out through his nose. With every breath he could smell the heavy masculine scent of his dad’s seed and taste it as he swallowed a second and final volley from his dad.  It was beyond wonderful.  I was all he thought it might be and more.

His dad once again pulled him up to his arms and licked his own come from his boy’s face and the corners of his mouth.  He held it in his mouth and kissed Waddie Buck, feeding him the very last of his come so his boy could have all of him.  Buck eagerly and lovingly accepted his dessert from his dad.

“Thank you, Dad.”

“Thank you, Son.  That was wonderful.  Sorry I made it a little difficult there at the last.”

“No problem, Dad.  It was fantastic.  Everything I imagined.  I love you, Dad.”

“I know you do, Son, and God above knows I love you.”

“Does this make me gay, Dad?  Are you gay?”

“The word gay is so overused.  It lumps ever’ man who ever shared love with another man in one category with an awful name. It’s like ever’thing else in life,— there’s different degrees of everything.  ‘Gay,’— what does it mean?  I guess it means whatever anyone wants it to mean.  It don’t mean much to men like us; however, what we jes’ shared makes you realize you like to share physical love with men.  How much you like to depends on your programing by a higher source.

My dad and me were raised to be healthy bisexuals.  We enjoy sex with either; however, when I made up my mind yore’ momma was the one woman for me, I ain’t never looked at another woman in all these years.  Won’t never, neither.  I would never betray your mother’s trust in me.  I was honest with her afore we married.  I told her I would always love her, provide for her, protect her, give her as much love’n as she needs  and be faithful to her, but I also told her I probably would have several male buddies from time to time.  I would never embarrass her;  most times she probably wouldn’t even know about it, but I wanted our relationship to be totally honest; if she couldn’t handle it, not to marry me.”

“I never knew you went with another man.”

“You didn’t need to know ‘til now, Son.  I didn’t want chu’ or little Gip being influenced by my sexuality.  Once I realized you boys was gonna’ be chips off’n the old block, I decided to tell ya’ to let you know it’s all right.  Ain’t nothing wrong with you.”

“Does my brother know?”

“He’s the one what’s been pestering the hell out a’ me to take you to bed and explain about the part of the birds and bees most men don’t discuss with their sons.  He was a lot more bold than you.  He jes’ told me one afternoon when you an yore’ momma was gone summers,  he didn’t give a damn if’n I kicked his ass out,— he couldn’t go on any longer the way he felt,— he loved me so much he wanted to show me by suck’n me off.  I told him talk was cheap,— git on it,— show me how much you love me, boy.  He fell to his knees, I undid my pants, whipped it out and he swallowed my old dick slicker’n a new born calf what jes' found its momma’s teat.  Gimme’ a damn good blow job, too.”  Gip chuckled and got Waddie Buck laughing.

“Yore’ big brother worships you, Buck.  He’d never let no harm come to his little bubba.  He’s told me about the times you two shared a little love.  He’s wanted more, but he thought chu’ weren’t interested.”

“Oh, no, Dad,— h’it ain’t that a’tall.  I’s jes’ afraid he might think I’s queer, s’all.”

“Look, Son,— even if you was to like men more’n women,— ain’t a’ gonna’ stop yore’ family from love’n ya’ jes’ like you is.  One a’ yore’ sisters might have a little trouble with it, but I hope we been raising her not to think that a’ way.  My daddy prefers men today.  There was a time h’it didn’t make him no never mind which he bedded; however, after Nam and being a nomadic outlaw biker for years, men were a lot less maintenance than women.”

“Thanks, Dad,— but, I jes’ don’t know yet.”

“No one’s rush’n you to make up yore’ mind, Son.  I weren’t real sure about myself ‘til I decided I wanted more out of life than being an outlaw biker.  I came home, my granddad put me to work as one of his deputies, I fell in love with yore’ momma and here I am, laying in bed with my beautiful boy sharing a little love with him.  You tell me what I am.”  Gip gently chided Buck.

“You’re my dad, and I love you.”

“Labels ain’t important, cowboy,— what’s important is who you know you are.  I’m a man what loves and cherishes his wife who also happens to like to share a little love with his male companions.  You and your brother are old enough now to be considered companions.  You’ll always be my sons and I’ll always be your dad, but there comes a time when a father has to let his children grow up.  They take on new, more mature relationships, but they never forget their connection.”

“Is Casey,— ?”

“Would ju’ want me to tell him about chu’?”

“Naw, Sir,— I suppose I wouldn’t.”

“Then you’ll have to ask him yourself.”

“Dad would ju,’ uhh,— ever consider,— uhh,— ?”

“Would I consider fuck’n you?”

“Well,— yes, Sir.”

“You and your brother done it several times, right?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“He taught you how to clean yourself?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Did ju’ enjoy your brother fuck’n you?”

“Yes, Sir.  I asked him to.”

“You think you’d enjoy your old man fuck’n you?”

“I know I would, Dad.  I can’t tell you how many times I jacked off think’n on you fuck’n me.”

“Then, I don’t see why not.  You clean yourself real good tomorrow night, and we’ll have a go at it.”

“Great!  You know, Dad,— I think we’re gonna’ do all right rope’n together tomorrow.”

“I have no doubt, Son.”  Gip chuckled.

“You need me to tell you one more time, ‘I love you.’” Gip smiled and stole another kiss from his boy.

“Cain’t never get enough of my old man tell’n me he loves me.”

“I love you, Son.”

“I love you, too, Dad.”
* * * * * * *

There wasn’t much use in Waddie Buck or his dad trying to hide their bonding from us.  We all knew, including Bubba and his boys.  Buck couldn’t look at his dad without blushing.  His dad would smile and wink at him.  That would only make him blush all the more.  They passed the barrier of father and son and now were two comrades who found a new source of love in each other.

Waddie Buck’s big brother, Little Gip, couldn’t have been more loving and supportive of his little brother. He knew how he felt.  He’d passed that border with his dad several years ago.  He knew how important it was to him and he could only imagine how much it must mean to his little brother.  He was by his little brother’s side all morning.  He was proud of his old man.

The next day was spent rodeoing most of the day.  The sheriff and Waddie Buck did very well at the rodeo.  After the first day they were in second place behind little Gip and I.  Bubba and his youngest boy, Seth Quee, were tied with another team for third place.

After the rodeo was over we sat around in the cool of the evening sharing a pot luck supper we all whipped up.  It was pretty good.  We grilled cheeseburgers on an outdoor barbeque pit.  We all chipped in, went to a store and bought what we needed.  I made a huge jar of sun tea early that morning, set it on top of our coach, and it was ready by that afternoon.

After dinner we were all sitting around talking when Bubba wanted to know what weekend Sheriff Claymore would allow Casey to visit.

“How about it, Gip?  We’d really like to have Casey come down and spend a weekend with us.  He can see the house his daddy and his uncle grew’d up in.  There’s some interesting things he might like to see.”

“It’s up to Casey.  We need him next weekend because we got us another rodeo north of us we wanna’ go to where the money’s better than average.  I was think’n on teaming up with him next weekend, but I think I’ll jes’ stick with the partner what I got now.  Me’n my youngest are doing pert-damn good.”

“Cain’t gainsay that, Sheriff.”  said Bubba.

“You gonna’ tell Casey about,— ?”  Seth Quee started to ask his dad.

“Hesh up, boy!”   Bubba scolded his youngest son. “We don’t wanna’ scare the daylights out a’ the man.  He might not wanna’ come visit with us.”

“It’s all right, Bubba.” the sheriff spoke in defense of Seth Quee. “I didn’t tell Casey nothing ‘bout the things ya’ll done told me about what happened to you.  I thought I’d let you tell ‘em.  Seems like he’s all ready had several visits from his uncle all ready.”

“Naw,— you be shit’n me.”

“It’s true, Bubba,— I woke up a couple of nights ago with him holding my hand.”

“Hoe-lee shit!  We see him all the time.  He hangs out around our place.  He’s buried in the town cemetery right down the road from us.  You can see the entrance from our front porch. He’s done some wicked things to us over the years, but only because he’s concerned about us.  Most times, they’s wickedly funny.

He plays pranks and hides things from us.  He guards my boys like they was gold. One time we lost my boy, Seth.  Couldn’t find him any wheres.  Vince and I looked for a whole day; then, we called the sheriff of our county and reported a missing child.  We was beginning to think he was kidnaped.  Vince and me were beside ourselves with worry.  The sheriff took all the information and joined in the search that day, but we didn’t find nothing.  The only thing we couldn’t understand was our old dog was his faithful companion, but he hadn’t come home neither.

That evening it was chilly; we’d just had a ‘blue northern’ roll in with a lot of wind. The temperatures dropped thirty degrees in a couple of hours, so we put a fire in the fireplace.  I was sittin’ on the sofa holding Vince in my arms as he was laid out the length of it.  He was softly crying for his brother and I was doing my best to comfort him; although, I weren’t too far from tears myself.  Vince felt like he should a’ kept better track of his little brother, and he blamed himself.  It weren’t Vince’s fault, I sent him off on an errand and Seth wandered away following our old dog.

All of a sudden,— something moved in the opposite corner of the room, and I got a good look at your uncle standing there.

I whispered to Vince to stop his crying and look over in the corner by the gun case.  He looked over and he saw him, too.  Seth came forward jest a little and started in like he was trying to dig a hole with an imaginary shovel.  He’d put his foot like he was putting it on a shovel, digging and throwing it over his shoulder.  After he got his hole dug, he looked like he was putting things in the hole, but it weren’t dirt.  Once in a while he would act like he was eating one of the things he was putting in the hole.  Then, he backed out of the area and closed a door like it was on an angle.  He moved his hands together like he was dusting off dirt from them and put his hands on his hips like he was pleased with his work. Then, he turned to us, put his hands together and made a big ‘O’ with his thumbs and forefingers together.  He even tried to mouth the letter ‘O’ to us.

“Oh, my God, Dad!” Cried Vince.  He’s trying to tell us Seth is trapped in the root cellar at the old abandoned Olsen place.”

With that, the spirit of your uncle smiled, nodded his head and disappeared.

We couldn’t get our ponies saddled up fast enough.  Vince had more presence of mind than I did and ran back into the house for a couple a’ blankets and a thermos of coffee he’d made before we went to the barn.

We rode as fast as we could to the Olsen place which was about six miles from our place.  The weather wasn’t cooperating either.  It was colder than a well digger’s butt, the wind was blowing hard, and it was piss’n a cold rain mixed with sleet.  It was so dark out we had to use our six volt lanterns to light the way for the ponies.  It seemed like the darkness jes’ swallowed up the light.

We got there and started holler’n for my boy.  We heard the dog barking and followed his sound.  Sure enough, we found Seth Quee trapped in the root cellar with Brady, our Blue Heeler.  A step gave way under him as he was exploring,— he fell and broke his leg.  He tried to get Brady to go for help, but that damn dog knew Seth was hurt and he wasn’t about to leave him.

To make matters worse there was a lot of wind with the storm that evening and it blew the door shut, it latched, and he couldn’t get it open to let Brady out.  We bundled Seth up against the cold.  I stayed with him and made him drink the hot coffee to get his body temperature up.  We took a big rock and knocked the latch off the door.  I sent Vince back to the house to call the sheriff and have them send the paramedics out to the old Olsen place. I had Vince close the door to give us some small shelter from the storm.  We had my lantern and stayed there with him until help arrived.  The spirit of your uncle saved my boy’s life.”
“That’s amazing.”  I exclaimed to them.

“Go on, Dad,— tell Casey what he done to you.”  Vince spoke up.

“Well,— I was a pretty heavy smoker most of my life and your uncle didn’t like it one bit.  I was a pack a day man and was slowly moving up to two packs a day.  Your uncle’s spirit would get really agitated at me when he appeared and caught me smoking.

I’d leave a pack in my Western shit on a chair by my bed ever’ evening so’s I could have a cigarette the first thing when I woke up in the morning. He would steal my cigarettes out of my shirt pocket  and hide them.  He would destroy them most of the time.  One time I noticed bits a’ tobacco floating on top of the horse trough.  I reached down to the bottom and found almost a full carton of cigarettes he’d thrown in there. I knew what he was trying to do, but he pissed me off.

I thought it was the boys what was doing it at first.  I thought maybe they be worried about me smoking and my health,  but when I confronted them, they laughed and told me about him hiding things from them he didn’t think they should be playing with.

Vince got a Penthouse magazine from one of his buddies and he was keeping it under his mattress on his bed.  When it came up missing he accused his little brother who swore he didn’t take it.  My boy, Seth, is a lot of things,— good things,— but he ain’t no liar.  He told his brother about a couple of his things what was missing.  They put their heads together and figured it must be my boy’s namesake what was doing it.

When they told me about him hiding their things we broke up laughing at the ridiculousness of our situation.  We were having to share our home and our lives with a very active spirit. After he saved my boys life,— we always set another place at the table for him in his honor.  He’s welcome to hain’t our house forever.

Anyway, to make a long story shorter.  I lost my voice one day and couldn’t say nary a word.  I thought I might have laryngitis.  I tried gargling with mouthwash, salt water and Vince rode into town to get me something from the pharmacist.  Nothing helped.  My throat weren’t sore or nothing, I jes’ couldn’t speak.  I couldn’t make a sound.

It went on for a week or more, and finally the boys were so worried they threatened to roped and hog tied me if’n I didn’t get my broad ass to a doctor.  They took me to the VA and they looked me over.  They immediately admitted me to the hospital and was gonna’ operate on me the next morning.  They found nodules on my vocal chords that was so thick they’d grown together, they weren’t allowing them to vibrate to make even the slightest noise.  I couldn’t even squeak when I farted.”  We all laughed at Bubba’s joke.

“What’d they call that shit on my vocal chords, Vince?”


“They cut it all off and sent it to the lab.  They were sure I had cancer. They were hoping they got it all, and it hadn’t spread; however, they didn’t gimme’ a lot of hope.  I was scared shitless.  You talk about seeing yore’ life flash in front of yore’ face.  I started making final plans.”
“You think he was scared, Casey,— my brother and I were basket cases.” added Seth Quee, “We jes’ knew we was gonna’ lose our dad.”

“The next day they got the lab report.  That damn doctor was no bigger than a minute, but he come into my room and read me the riot act.  He called me ever’ damn thing he could think of and then made up a few.  Most of all he called me a stupid, redneck bastard for smoking so much it all piled up on my vocal chords and grew together; however, the good news was the nodules were benign.  They was what chu’ call ‘pre-cancerous.’  They caught ‘em in time.  Well,— that little doctor put the fear a’ God in me, and I ain’t never smoked a cigarette since.

Lord knows,— h’it ain’t been easy. I put my boys through hell, and I went though the tortures of the damned at first; however, ever’ time I even thought about a cigarette in an evening, your uncle would appear and wag his finger at me.  He’d get the most awful frown on his face.  I think he helped saved me from cancer.  My boys were my other saving grace.  Thank God for them or I wouldn’t a’ made it.”  Bubba put an arm around each of his boys and hugged them to him.

“Does my granddad know my uncle appears to you?”

“We told him about Seth’s spirit saving my boy’s life, but we ain’t never had the heart to tell him it’s been an ongoing thing.  He’s visited us many times and we wondered if’n his boy would appear to him, but he ain’t never done it.  I think it has something to do with the guilt yore’ Uncle Seth Quee feels toward his dad.  I think he’d be embarrassed to appear to him.”

I told Bubba and his boys about what happened to me with my uncle’s spirit and told them what Griz told me.  I ask them to pray for him, too.  They assured me they would.

“I think he’s trying to git chu’ down to our place where it won’t take him so much effort to git through to you. I think he done heard us talking about chu’ being at the sheriff’s ranch and he come to find you.”

“I agree with ya,’ Bubba.”  said the sheriff.  “So, I guess it’s important we git Casey down to visit as soon as possible.”

* * * * * * *

We partied and rodeoed all weekend.  Cindy, Ruby Rose and Linda Sue came to the rodeo on Saturday, but they stayed home and went to church on Sunday.  Little Gip and I took first place in team roping both days.  Big Gip and Waddie Buck took second and Bubba and Seth Quee took third.  Once again I won the calf roping competition. Vince Swansey came in second.

 The sheriff was right, the prize money was considerably better than Chapel Creek’s rodeo.  I’m not complaining.  What the Chapel Creek rodeo might lack in prize money it more than made up for in fun and excitement due to the folks I was rodeoing with.

Bubba and Gip got their heads together and decided the weekend after next I’d drive down to their place and spend the weekend with them.  Bubba was such a gregarious man he insisted Gip and his boys come along with me.  Gip told him he’d let him know depending on his schedule as sheriff.  By that time, I knew Gip well enough to know, as sheriff, he could adjust his schedule pretty much anyway he wanted.  He wanted to talk to me before he made a decision.  He felt I might like to be with Bubba and his boys by myself.

“I thought we was family.”  I said to the sheriff looking hurt.

“No doubt, Son,— but I allow all my boys their privacy and to develop other relationships outside our family.”

“I think I’m gonna’ have plenty a’ time for that, Sheriff,— I’d enjoy you, little Gip and Waddie Buck going along with me.”

“We’d enjoy it, too.  We been promising them we’d come visit with ‘em for months.  Now’s our chance.”  Gip replied.

The sheriff notified Bubba the following Tuesday he and his boys would be able to get away and visit with me at their ranch. Bubba bought my granddad’s ranch from him many years ago. I was anxious to see the place my dad and uncle grew up in.  I was also hoping to meet my Uncle Seth.  

End of Chapter 32 ~ Texas Longhorns
Copyright 2005 ~ Waddie Greywolf
All rights reserved ~
Mail to: waddiebear@yahoo.com