TEXAS LONGHORNS
By
Waddie Greywolf
Chapter
48
Granddad and I
rode back to the ranch with Gip. We were still in our rodeo gear;
however, I helped Curtis removed his spurs and I removed mine. It
isn’t easy riding in
a truck with spurs on. Besides, we didn’t want to mess up the
sheriff’s new truck. Little Gip, and Waddie Buck were in
the back. Gip was in a great mood.
“Appreciate you
men’s help today. Ain’t never had the rodeo run so smooth.
It was the best rodeo we put on in a while. Hell, it’s the best
rodeo we ever done put on, wouldn’t you say, men?” Gip spoke over
his shoulder to his boys.
“Best one I can
remember.” allowed Waddie Buck.
“I ain’t that
much older’n you, little brother, but I cain’t remember a better
one. We were through with ever’ thing by noon. Lot’s a
times we ain’t got out a’ there ‘til one or one-thirty.”
“Proud of you
men for winning today. You done good. You shore’ whupped
the pants off me’n the boys.”
“Thanks,
Sheriff,” Curtis replied to him, “your times was damn good, and
congratulations to you, Son, for coming in third in the calf roping
event.” he spoke to Little Gip.
“Thanks, Mr.
Langtry. Makes me feel good I placed. I’m happy. Hope
I do as well tomorrow.” Little Gip responded.
We arrived at
the ranch and helped Gip unload the ponies. Socks and Rocky were
giddy again. They were just as happy my grandsire and I won as we
were. They still didn’t want to be too far from each
other. They were like two love struck kids.
<< Will
you two cut it out? You’re embarrassing me. >> I laughed at
them.
<< You
been in love, man-colt,— you know how love is. >> Socks shot back
at me.
<< Yeah,—
you’re right, Ms. Socks,— I do know how it is, and I’m jes’ as guilty
as you two. >> they laughed at me.
When we finished
Gip asked Curtis if he’d mind if he borrowed me for a minute.
“You headed out
to Casey’s coach, Mr. Langty?” he asked.
“Yes, Sir,
Sheriff,— I wanna’ take off my gear and clean up for the barbecue.
“‘At’s
fine. We got ever’ thing under control, but I need to talk with
Casey for a few minutes, then I’ll send him on out.”
“Sure,— I need
to sit me down for a spell anyways. Ma’ hip’s bother’n me a
bit. I’ll wait for you in the coach, Son.” Curtis spoke to
me.
I quickly
removed my chaps, handed them to granddad along with my spurs and
asked him to take them to the coach for me.
“I’ll be along
in a minute, Grampa.” I told him.
Curtis turned
and walked away with his head hung down. I started to ask Gip to
wait until later to tell me what he wanted, but the big man had his arm
around me tight and started walking in the opposite direction.
Curtis walked
toward the older barn on Gip’s property. The parking shelters Gip
and his boys built for the R.V.s was a little way beyond the barn and
nestled in a grove of huge oak trees Gip’s dad and granddad
planted many years ago when his dad was still a kid. The
big trees were over fifty years old. They shaded the back
side of the old barn and the R.V. area. There was always an
updraft of air that kept the area cooler than the rest of the
property. Most of the cowboys who stayed at the ranch liked to
stay in the old barn. Gip’s granddad thought of everything
and had a complete restroom and shower facilities built for the cowboys
who would come and stay with his family for a visit.
Curtis felt like
every step he took was more effort than the last. His hip was
bothering him with a dull ache. It wasn’t bad, but it was
uncomfortable. He thought to himself he would have to look in the
medicine cabinet for some ibuprofen when he got to the
coach. He didn’t feel old, he just felt defeated. How
could he feel that way when he won the rodeo with his beloved
grandson? Casey had to remind him of his blessings.
He knew he was blessed. He felt blessed. He was grateful to
God for his grandson and his life as it was now. He wanted to
have faith,— he did have faith,— but he was human.
He reached the
coach opened the screen door and stepped on the metal fold down step to
step up into the coach. The door shut behind him, he walked into
the living area and set Casey’s chaps and both sets of spurs on the
floor next to the couch. He stood upright again and suddenly felt
he wasn’t alone. He turned and saw a fine looking, middle
age, cowboy standing tall, framed in the doorway to the bedroom at the
rear of the coach.
“Hello,
Dad.” said Vince Longhorn.
“Vince?
Oh, my God in heaven! Is it really you, Son?” Curtis
exclaimed.
He reached out
his hand, but his legs wouldn’t cooperate, his knees began to buckle
under him. Vince stepped to him in an instant and held his dad in
his arms. Curtis threw his arms around his son and held him
tight. He began sobbing his heart out, kissing Vince on his cheek
and muttering how wonderful it was to see him again. Vince shed a
few of his own tears, but he let his dad get it out.
“Yes,— h’it’s
really me. It’s okay, Dad. I’m here now. I’m sorry it
took me so long to come to you, but I didn’t wanna’ tell nobody how I
felt about chore’ letter until I had a chance to meet with you face to
face and tell you myself. I jes’ didn’t think it would be
right. The opportunity ain’t presented itself until now.
Since Sid and Sticker planned to fly out, I saw it as the right time to
come, meet with you, and tell you myself.”
“It’s all right,
Son, I understand. I just thank God you’re here. Nothing in
the world’s important right now. I’m holding my boy in my arms
and that’s all that matters. I’m so damn sorry, Son, for what I
done to you and yore’ little brother. I’m so ashamed of
myself.” Curtis sobbed.
“Shuuu,— you
already done apologized in yore’ letter, Dad. ‘At ain’t why I’m
here. I ain’t here to chastise you or cause you no more
hurt. I done figured, from what I read in yore’ letter, you done
beat chore’self up worse than anything I might have to say. Let’s
not talk about the past. I ain’t got nothing to say about the
past anyway, other than to remember some good times. I’m only
interested in today, Dad,— here and now,— and the future.
I think you done
had a pert-damn good idea for us put’n the past behind us and see’n if
we can’t start again. You asked me to give you another
chance. I done me a lot a’ think’n on it since Casey
brought chore’ letter home, and I decided it might be a better idea
if’n we give each other another chance; not only for ourselves, but
also for my boy.”
“I love Casey so
much, Vince. He means so much to me. I was so proud of him
today. We won the Tucson rodeo last weekend. We won the
rodeo today, and he won first place in the calf roping event in Tucson
and here. I wish you could a’ been there to see it.”
“I was at the
rodeo, Dad,— I saw it all, and I was proud of both of you. I saw
the love what passed between you and Casey in the arena before you
moved to the stalls to begin yore’ run. One a’ my other boys, Sid
Wainright’s boy Logan and I were sitting with Cindy Claymore, the
sheriff’s wife and their daughters in the sheriff’s private box.
We were sitting with a bunch of wonderful Apache Indians. When
Cindy explained to the men what was going on, they insisted me and
Logan wear their war bonnets to disguise us.” Vince chuckled.
“I’m so glad
you’re here, Vince. You don’t know how much this means to
me. I’ve always loved you as my son, but I’ve come to love and
appreciate you in a new and different way through Casey’s love for
you. He’s so loving, open and honest, ain’t a day goes by he
don’t come up with something what makes me have to stop and rethink the
way I look at things. I come to realize he’s a reflection of you,
Son. He ain’t you, but I see flashes of you and Seth in him that
are unmistakable. Ocie, Bubba and I could swear sometimes we see
Seth Quee looking out at us from his eyes. You have several other
men who think you’re one the best men what ever walked this
Earth. A little buckaroo named Brent and his dad Bart Conners.”
“I shore’ ‘nuff
fell in love with the little cowboy and his daddy when they’s
with us Christmas. I’m still learning from my boy, Dad.
Family is important to him. Somehow he collects family as he goes
along, but he never seems to leave anyone behind. He’s taught me,
family is where you find it. Family is were yore’ heart is, where
it can reside in peace. I only met the sheriff and his boys for a
minute, but I can tell they’s fine men.
Cindy Claymore
and her daughters told me they considered Casey a part of their family
now, and they ain’t give’n him back. They said you’s a part of
their family, too, and they ain’t gonna’ give you up, neither.
They told me I’d just have to become a part of their family.” Vince
laughed. “From what I’ve heard about ‘um and how good they been treat’n
me since I been here, cain’t says h’it won’t be a pleasure.”
“They’s good
people, Son. They been loyal to Casey, and I cain’t fault ‘um for
that. They been good to me. Casey’s taught me more’n a few
things, Vince. You couldn’t a’ raise him no finer. He’s so
devoted to you. He tells me he’s yours,— you own him,— and he
serious about it.”
“You mentioned
that in yore’ letter. I’ve heard talk about it, but I don’t have
no claim to Casey other than to be his dad and love him. We sort
of gravitated to each other after Frances died. We sort a’
invested the love we had for her into each other, and we became closer
than most fathers and sons. We became buddies and friends. I’m
still his daddy, and I always will be but I have to let him grow up on
his own, apart from me. I didn’t realize that until he’d been
away for a while. My family back home done ganged up on me and
told me I had to let him go, and they was right. I jes’ didn’t
understand it at the time. Casey had to grow up faster than other
kids ‘cause he had a dad who needed his support. If’n h’it
weren’t for Casey, Dad, I wouldn’t have the life I have now. ‘At
boy gave up a lot to see his daddy was comfortable and well taken care
off. He worked his butt off to see to my well being and never
once complained about it. He was just always there. I hate
to say it, but I began to take him for granted.
I love Casey
with all ma’heart, Dad,— more’n anything on this Earth, but what kind
of dad would I be to think I ‘own’ him. He’s been talk’n with
Waddie Claymore and his family too much. ‘At ain’t what I have in
mind for Casey. I want him to be his own man. I want him to
chose who and how he wants to love. I ain’t worried none
about my boy, Dad, I know his heart, and I know even if we don’t have
the same relationship we done before, he won’t never leave me behind.
When he wanted
to go off and rodeo by himself, I knew ninety percent of his reason was
to see if he could find you. I tried ever’ damn trick I could
think of to keep him from going. To be honest with you, I was
afraid to see him get hurt. Fortunately, for both of us, it
didn’t turn out that way, but I did lay a pretty heavy guilt trip on
him. I’ll admit, I was pert-damn afraid for myself if I lost my
main support; however, after Sid and Sticker talked with me, I
understood I had to let him go for both of us. I’m glad I
did. It’s made me realize I can be a little more
independent than I thought. I don’t have to be so needy of him.
I done told him
when he was home Christmas to stay on at the ranch if he wanted
to. H’it’s gonna’ be another three, maybe four years his little
brother’s gonna’ be in school. Logan and I need each other.
He
needs me to keep him on the straight and narrow and make damn sure he
don’t over extend himself with his school work. He made a
promise to me and his big brother he’d take care of me, and I made a
promise to him and his daddy I’d see to it he made it though Med
school. I don’t know what’ll happen after that, but I ain’t
worried none about it. I come to realize I have to put myself in
the good Lord’s hands and he’ll see me through. Ever’
things gonna’ work out all right.
When I heard he
and Ocie saved yore’ life, I knew he’d bonded pert-damn tight with both
ya’ll. I know from the way he talks about the Claymores he’s in
love with them. Cindy Claymore almost embarrassed me talk’n ‘bout
him and sing’n his praises. Her daughters think he’s damn near a
saint. You can’t contain a force like Casey. My little
brother was right, he contains the spark of three strong, healthy
spirits. Seth done told me he had strengths I could only
imagine. I can see letting him go was the greatest gift I could
a’ given him and it was the best thing for me.
I’m solid with
my love for Casey and his love for me. In some ways our love has
grown more mature and more rewarding. I ain’t the least bit
worried if’n he’s been share’n love with you and Ocie. H’it don’t
threaten me none. ‘At’s jes’ the way Casey is. ‘At’s the
way I done raised him to be. Hell, he was sharing his love with
his brothers in high school. Good thing, too, I don’t think
either one of ‘um would a’ made it if’n he hadn’t. His love
bonded them three together to form an unbeatable force. In all
that time he never once short changed me with his love. He was
always there for me.
I know fer’ damn
sure he and ole Bubba’s been play’n hide the little green snake.
I know’d he’s been ride’n the sheriff’s pony. He’d be a damn fool
if’n he weren’t, and I didn’t raise my boy to be no fool.” Vince
chuckled. I jes’ about imagine he and Bart’s been knock’n
boots. I knew when he brought ‘um home, he’d fallen in love with
Bart and Brent. Now he tells me he’s fallen in love with their
dad, too. I’m look’n forward to meeting Hank Conners.”
“Casey’s an
amazing kid, Vince. Ain’t no doubt about it. I’d love to
have him stay on at the ranch for a while longer. He tells me
he’s happy jes’ being a cowboy, and he don’t want no more
responsibility right now. He don’t think I know, but he’s been
working behind the scenes to make things better for all of us, and he’s
managing to do it without make’n me feel like he’s doing my job.
He goes out of his way to make sure I ain’t threatened.
He and Bart’s
become saddle buddies. Casey’s been sharing a tee-pee with me
when we’s out on the range, but we don’t never do nothing ‘cause the
conditions jes’ ain’t right. After he come back from a weekend
with Bart and his family, I knew him and Bart bonded. I told him
he didn’t have to bunk it in with me, he could bunk it in with
Bart if’n he wanted. He said he weren’t interested in changing
things right away. If’n it happened between him and Bart he
wanted it to be a natural thing. He didn’t wanna’ jump into
nothing. Claims Bart’s got his-self another love interest in his
old high school buddy. You remember Pete Chambers I used to rodeo
with? It’s his boy Nick.
I purposely
arranged it so Casey and I wouldn’t have the same weekend rotation off
so’s he could go and do with those he’s bonded with. I didn’t
want him feel’n obligated to take care of me. I want him to know
my love and appreciation for him goes much deeper than anything we
might share physically. I guess I’m learning more and more about
some’um you’ve know all along, Son,— unconditional love. Hell,
other than work’n with him ever’ day, which is a blessing in
itself, I ain’t hardly had me no one on one time with him since
he got back from Christmas. Last weekend in Tucson was only the
second weekend in six months I got to spend with him. Shore' as
hell enjoyed it, too.”
Curtis couldn’t
believe how easily they were talking with each other and not as father
and son, but as old friends who hadn’t seen each other in years and had
a lot of ground to cover. ‘It’s better this way,’ Curtis thought
to himself. ‘I never was much of a dad to my boy anyway;
now, maybe I can be his friend.’ He suddenly realized he
had some good practice, his grandson treated him as an honored
friend. Maybe that’s why grandads and grandsons get along so
well, they don’t have to worry about the middle man.
“I told Casey
when he was home Christmas to stay on at the ranch for a spell if’n he
wants to. I’m all right. I got his little brother who’s a
tiger about being there to assist me in the mornings and
evenings. I guess you know, I ain’t standing on my own
legs. I got me a nice pair of store bought legs courtesy of the
VA.” Vince grinned at his dad.
“I know, Son,
Casey done told me and showed me pictures. I’m so damn sorry,
Son. I wish’t I could a’ been there for you when you come
home. I wish’t I’d a’ been there for your little
brother. I lost so much because I was such an insufferable
asshole.” Curtis started sobbing again. Vince felt awful
for his old man.
“There, there,
Dad. I done told ju’ not to live in the past. What’s done
is done. We cain’t go back and fix it. Wish we could
sometimes, but we cain’t. H’it jes’ ain’t possible. We both
lost a lot, but let’s be thankful for what we got. Let’s us be
thankful my little brother crossed over and found peace. There
again, if’n it weren’t for Casey and his love for Seth, he probably
wouldn’t a’ made it. Casey had ever’ one back home praying for
Seth
and according to Sid, Sticker and Waddie Claymore he had ever’ one at
the Broken Arrow and here in Chapel Creek praying for him.
We got us a damn
good boy what loves us beyond measure, and a goodly number of family
and friends who are concerned about us. We got us a second
chance, Dad, and if’n we fuck this one up, there ain’t no more
excuses, there ain’t no hope for us. My boy has enough faith in
us, Dad, we can make this work. You know, I always dreamed of
have’n me a dad. My little bother done told me when he come to
me, if I pass up this opportunity, I’ll be a fool. I
don’t wanna’ be no fool in the eyes of the Lord, Dad. I’m here to
tell you, I’m willing to take the chance if you are.”
“You’re
just like I remember you as a kid, Son. You have a compassion and
a stronger, deeper faith than I ever had which allows you to love
unconditionally and forgive. It comes so easy to you, it’s like
it was a natural part of you, and you sometimes have a hard time
accepting why other folks cain’t understand love and compassion the way
you do. I hope I’ve learned some of it over the years. I
had one young man teach me to love unconditionally. He’s
here at the ranch with Waddie Claymore’s family. After twelve
years, I was reunited with him at the Broken Arrow in Tucson last
weekend. We forgave each other, and it’s been wonderful to see
him and his Master again. Yore’ little brother come to Casey and
me, and,--- Seth and me,— we made our peace. I told him how much
I
love him and shared love with him one last time though Casey. It
was a wonderful, miraculous experience. I’d be proud and honored
if’n you’s to think on me again as yore’ dad, Vince.”
“I always wanted
to tell you I love you, Dad. I’d never admit it to nobody, not
even myself, but after I come back from Nam, I secretly yearned for
things to be different. It’s like a dream come true. Me’n
my little bother talked about it so many times, to be able to jes’ hold
you like this and tell you we love you. I want to love you,
Dad. I will love you if’n you give me the chance.”
“I meant ever’
word I said in my letter, Vince. I’ll try my damnedest to make
sure you never regret giving yore’ old man another chance. I love
you, Son.”
They hugged and
kissed each other on the cheek again. Vince let his dad go and
walked to the kitchen. He found the bottle of Comfort he knew his
son always kept in the cabinet. He held it up to his dad and
smiled.
“This calls for
a little drink, Dad.”
Vince didn’t
wait for Curtis to answer. He got two small glasses from another
cabinet, poured a couple of fingers in each, and handed his dad one of
the glasses.
“Here’s to
change, Dad. Here’s to compassion. Here’s to
forgiveness. Here’s to fathers and sons everywhere who have
learned to set aside their differences and find a common ground to love
each other. Here’s to new beginnings, and here’s to your
grandson, without whom, this moment would have been impossible.”
Curtis had tears
in his eyes as he clinked glasses with his son, and they took a
sip. Vince took Curtis’ glass from him, sat both their glasses
down, returned to take his dad into his arms once more. Vince was
taken with the realization, the man he was holding, who
loomed so large, ominous and threatening in his memory, was now just a
little smaller physically and a bit shorter than him. He held his
dad close for a minute, and they shed a few more tears together.
“Now, I want
something from you I always dreamed of and never got.”
“Anything, Son,—
what is it?”
“Kiss me, old
man.” Vince said like an urgent plea in a long forgotten prayer
that had been prayed quietly for many years.
Curtis closed
his eyes, gently placing his rough, cracked, sunburned, weather beaten
old cowboy lips to his son’s and gently kissed him. He would let
his boy take or give as much as he needed, and that’s exactly what
Vince Longhorn did. He gave and took from his dad the love he
always wanted, the love he always needed from him all those years and
never received, but he wasn’t having to take it from Curtis like his
little brother so boldly did.
Vince sensed
Curtis was no longer afraid of love, . . . no longer afraid to freely
give and receive his love. His old man was genuinely taking the
love he offered and was giving back to him as much love as Vince could
handle. How many times? Too many times had Vince and his
little brother cried themselves to sleep in each others’ arms asking
each other why their daddy couldn’t or wouldn’t show them love.
Vince was
living a reality he dreamed about at night for years and afterward
would wake up having soiled his bed. He never shared that dream
with Casey.
It was like his
dream had come true. His subconscious dream-fantasy wish was
being powerfully fulfilled, but this was not a dream. This was
reality. This was the real thing. The more he made love to his
dad the more Curtis returned his affections, until their bodies, which
were pressed tightly to each other, began to tremble. Vince could
feel his dad growing stronger in his Wranglers, and he didn’t even
consider trying to hide his physical attraction for his old man.
Now was not the time for either to hold back anything from the other.
Curtis was not
going to be the first to break off their kiss. He would fill his
boy with as much as he could take. Vince was taking his old man’s
love into him like a starving glutton who found himself locked in the
pantry overnight. Their bodies began to shake, and they
both knew they were approaching climax. Neither pulled away
as they reached the pinnacle of their passion, and began to explode in
their Wranglers; each moaning and groaning from the ecstacy for their
coming together. Neither was embarrassed nor experienced the
slightest guilt. They were committed to their love and passion
for each other. It was as natural as the drawing down of blinds
at the close of day. It was a powerful moment neither man would
forget for the rest of their lives.
Still
they kissed until they both were sobbing so hard from the release and
relief from the bonding they just shared, they had to break it
off. They stood holding each other tight, crying from their grief
for the love they didn’t share for so many years and the happiness and
joy in knowing they could now be free to forgive, appreciate and love
each other unconditionally.
“There’s a bunch
of cowboys, several fine cowgirls, and a whole tribe of Indians out
there who are sitting on pins and needles right now to know about chu’
and me; to say nothing of our young cowboy whom the sheriff promised to
rope and hog tie to give us this time alone together. You think
it’s about time we walked out, arm in arm to let ‘um know we didn’t
kill each other?” Vince chuckled and Curtis smiled.
“I think you’re
right, Son, right after we clean ourselves, finish our drinks and have
one more kiss before we leave.”
“ ‘At’s a can
do. Sounds good to me, Dad. Let’s do it.”
* *
* * * * *
When we were out
of earshot of my granddad, Gip spoke to me.
“Yore’ daddy’s
out there in yore’ coach wait’n for yore’ granddad, Son.”
“Oh, my
God!” I exclaimed, as my knees went weak, but Gip held me
tightly. “I knew something was up. Griz didn’t tell me
nothing. Neither did the ponies, and most times, they cain’t keep
no secrets from me.”
“‘At’s cause we
had Griz talk with ‘um.” Gip laughed. “Mr. Longhorn flew in
with Sid and Sticker. Yore’ little brother Logan’s in our house
wait’n for you. ‘At’s why Cindy was gonna’ be late. She
dropped off the girls at the rodeo to get things started and welcome
the tribe if’n they arrived early. She drove to the airstrip and
picked ‘um all up. I had ya’ll work the barn so’s we could sneak
Vince and Logan into my box with Cindy and the tribe.”
“You mean my dad
done seen us rodeo? I never saw ‘um up there, but the screen
makes it dark, and I couldn’t make out anybody but Cindy. I could
see several of the chief’s bonnets.”
“Yeah, well,—
the tribe went along with us and yore’ daddy and little brother was
wearing their headdresses.”
I couldn’t help
it, I fell out laughing. I was almost in hysterics. I was
feeling joy and relief like I’d just been pulled back by someone who
saved me from an oncoming bus and sure death.
“You’re a piece
of work, Sheriff. Ya’ll had this planned out for months.”
“Yeah,— we
did. You don’t know how close I come to spill’n the beans
yesterday afternoon when we’s making love and rodeo’n at the
station, but I bit my tongue.” Gip chuckled, “It was hell keep’n
it from you, but we didn’t wanna’ take no chances. Yore’ daddy
had a hand in it, he wanted it this a’ way. He wanted to make his
peace with his old man one on one. He told me when they was
finished, he’d bring his dad out, and that would be the time for us to
join them in their rejoicing. He’s right, Son. He didn’t do
it that a’ way to leave you out. Yore’ daddy’s a wise man.
I respect him ‘cause ‘at’s the way it ought a’ be.”
“I know. I
don’t feel left out, Gip. I’s too damn happy to feel left
out. Hell, Sheriff, this is what we been praying for the last six
months. Thank God, it’s finally come to pass.”
I saw my little
brother come out the backdoor of the ranch house and start running
toward me with a huge smile on his face. I saw my other brother
coming from another direction to meet us. Gip let me go to run to
them. We met in the middle, held each other and shed a couple of
tears. Most of the cowboys and Master Waddie’s family gathered
around us and applauded.
“Damn, it’s good
to see you again, big brother. I’s so proud of you and yore’
granddad for winning today. Ain’t never seen me no better
roping.” said little bit.
“You done good,
brother. We’s proud a’ ya’ll. We’s happy Dad Longhorn
decided to come with us.” said Dwayne.
“I can’t believe
you’re here, and you didn’t come alone. I hope ever’ thing’s all
right out there.”
“Don’t worry,
brother, our dad’s a changed man. I done figured he worked ever’
thing out in his head shortly after he read the letter, but he wouldn’t
talk to me none about it. I knew better’n to ask, but he
never volunteered nothing neither. He cain’t keep no secrets from
me. He knows it, too. Not because I touched him,
neither. I jes’ know him so well by now.” Little bit
giggled and added, “‘Sides, I didn’t have to, his pony tells me ever’
thing I wanna’ know.”
We shared a
laugh. I guess ponies the world over are notorious gossips.
I don’t expect a rational answer, but I’ll have to ask Ms. Socks and
her spouse how they did it. Logan continued,
“Mr. Longhorn
done told me on the plane he knew I knew all along what he was gonna’
do. Some’um come over him in the last six months, Casey,
what’s been a miracle in itself. He’s more relaxed and
comfortable with everything and everybody. He always was a good
and thoughtful man; however, lately he seems to appreciate so much more
the least little thing anyone does for him. He embarrasses me
sometimes.”
“You
embarrassed? I done learned ju’ better’n ‘nat.” I laughed
as I joked with him.
We stood around
and talked for sometime. Bart walked over to shake hands and say
‘hello’ to Logan and introduce him to his dad. HRH Brent
Conners was being carried around by his giant Nubian Marine. He
was in heaven; however, I could see in his eyes he’d been crying.
I took him from Lamar.
“What ‘sa
matter, buckaroo? You been crying ‘bout some’um?”
“Yeah, but I’m
all right now, Casey. I jes’ overheard someone say my other
granddad’s here. I was so happy I started crying. I wanted
to fine him and go to him, but daddy done told me he was meet’n up with
his daddy. He said he’d be out here in a minute. I’m so
happy for them, Casey.”
“So am I little
one.” I stole a kiss and noticed all the men were looking toward
the old barn. I tuned around with Brent still in my arms to see my dad
and granddad slowly walking toward us with their arm around each other
and big smiles on their faces. I sat Brent down.
“Now’s, yore’
chance, cowboy. Go on, run to him.” I spoke loud
enough for Bart and Hank to hear me tell him. I patted him on his
butt, and he was away as fast as his little legs would carry him,
yelling at the top of his voice,
“Mr.
Longhorn,--- granddad,— ! ”
Dad opened his
arms to Brent, and the boy was in them in an instant. He was
hugging and kissing dad and telling him how great it was to see him
again, and he knew he’d come.
“I done told Mr.
Langtry you’d come, Sir.” Brent smiled at Vince.
“It’s good to
see you again, young’un. My goodness how you’ve grown. How
is yore’ daddy paying the food bills? You must be eat’n him out
a’ house and home.”
Everyone laughed.
“I catch me a
lot a’ catfish and eat’um, Mr. Longhorn.” he winked
mischievously at dad. He and Curtis roared with laughter.
All the cowboys
and Indian men gathered around us. Hank gathered Brent from dad,
and it was my turn to give him a hug and a kiss. I couldn’t help
myself, I shed a few tears, but may old man was, too. Someone
started clapping. The rest joined in out of happiness and respect
for me and two men who had come together after years of being
separated. My dad and granddad were in tears. I was
hugging granddad when dad turned to the crowd and began to speak,
“Thank you,
gentlemen, one and all. This is a day we’ll remember the rest of
our lives. My personal thanks to those who helped make it
happen and thank you for being a part of me’n my dad’s reunion.
We appreciate yore’ help, yore’ love, and we love all of you.”
There was
another round of applause, and Gip held up his hand to speak.
“Ya’ll know I
ain’t one for long speeches. If’n that’s what it took to get
elected yore’ sheriff ever’ year, I’d never git a vote.” they all
laughed. “Lemme’ jes’ say my thanks for the love all you men and
ladies showed to these gentlemen. We couldn’t a’ done it without
ch’all. Now, let’s celebrate our independence day and do us some
rodeo’n. If’n anyone here goes away hungry or thirsty,
h’it’s their own damn fault. Have a good time.”
The men
whistled, applauded and cheered the sheriff. We disbursed to head
to the picnic area. It took us a while to get there because we
were introducing dad to folks along the way. Brent took him by
the hand to introduce him to his other granddad Hank
Conners. I could tell dad and Mr. Conners liked each other
right away.
Dad wept
uncontrollably when he met his brothers O.C. and Bubba
again. He lost it when he met Bubba’s boys Vince and
Seth Quee. It was another powerfully emotional afternoon, but
things began to calm down after a while.
After eating too
much and helping with some things for the picnic Cindy or Gip needed us
to do, Bart and I joined the other cowboys who were already
rodeoing. Many of the men gathered around Gip’s arena to
watch. It was a really laid back afternoon. I roped a
couple of times with Bart, Mutt and Master Waddie. I even got my
dad on Ms. Socks to toss a couple. He roped with me and then
roped with granddad. They made a good team. Granddad, me
and Bart continued to have the best times.
We put the
ponies up early to have them fresh and rested for the rodeo the next
day. Gip and Cindy were serving up homemade ice cream to anyone
who wanted it. A lot of folks did. Their was plenty
for all, but the kids got theirs first. Dad and granddad were
sitting at a table with Bubba, Ocie, Logan, Dwayne, Lamar, and Cousin
Rance. I don’t think they were far away from each other all
afternoon. I brought them their ice cream and returned with Bart
to get ours. Bart was with me most of the afternoon.
I know I see him
all the time, every day, but I just feel comfortable having Bart
around. He never intrudes, but he’s always there if I need him or
need companionship. His personality reminded me so much of
a combination of all the men my life, including Master
Waddie. It was like he was all of them wrapped up in one
special package,--- one special cowboy. I couldn’t
imagine celebrating a Fourth of July without him in my life. I
just wished we could have more time to spend together away from the
ranch.
I promised him
the first weekend after I got back from California I would spend with
him and his family. I also promised I’d spend the long Labor Day
weekend at his place. He never said anything, but I knew he
wasn’t looking forward to being without me for two weeks. We’d
stay in touch though. I don’t care if it costs me a small fortune
in cell phone bills, I think I need to hear from him as much as he
needs to hear from his saddle partner.
It was one of
the most magical days I can remember in my life. Everything
seemed to be in harmony with the universe. Everyone was
having a good time and no one was arguing are being disagreeable.
Gip talked the Apache men into performing another couple of
dances for us, and they were excellent. Garth Yellow Hawk was an
impressive man and a great fancy dancer. They danced for a couple
of hours.
Finally, they
invited all the veterans to get up and dance with them. My
dad, granddad, Rance, Sticker, Lamar, Ocie, Master Waddie, Titus,
Harley, Mutt, Big Jim, Beau, Blaine, Chief, Cowboy, Bull, Charlie and
several other men got up and danced. They were reluctant at
first, but Garth Yellow Hawk knew who the vets were in the crowd
and pointed them out to his dad and the elders. They would come
and take each man by the hand and lead him to the dance. My dad
couldn’t dance too well with is legs but he kept up a good
rhythm. It
didn’t matter to him or anyone else. That wasn’t what was
important. What was important was the healing.
I think it was
the single most moving thing I ever witnessed. They all were a
bit shy at first, but as the drums went on and the songs continued,
they got caught up in the healing of the dance. They seemed like
they were transported to another plane of existence where nothing
mattered but the dance and their release within it. Tears were
streaming down their faces as they danced around each other until they
spiraled into the center of all the dancers and were dancing as a small
group. No one who witnessed it could help but feel the presence of God
surrounding them and those who loved them.
The sun began to
set and the sheriff opened a ten by twenty metal storage shed he had
away from everything. It was packed to the ceiling with
fireworks. Everything you could imaging. He brought them
out and passed them out to the adult men to supervise the kids setting
them off. Everyone was setting off rockets and roman
candles. For an impromptu fireworks celebration it lit the sky
for and hour or so. Everyone had a ball. It was the best
Fourth of July celebration I can remember.
Afterwards, folk
began to say their goodbyes and leave. The evening was winding
down and they knew the men had another big day of rodeoing ahead.
It
finally came down to the cowboys and Master Waddie’s family.
Bart, Brent and Hank left to go back to Spring Hill for the
night. It was hard to say goodbye after spending such a wonderful
day with them. Brent got to play and be with a bunch of kids his
own age. He was a tired little buckaroo as he hugged and kissed
dad and granddad goodbye.
Dad, granddad
and I found ourselves alone for a few minutes.
“If you wanna’
stay with Casey in his coach tonight, Son, I can bunk it in with the
other cowboys in the barn.” Curtis said quietly to dad.
“Naw,— ain’t no
need in that. I didn’t come here to disrupt anything. Come
Sunday, we’s flying out a’ here back to
California, and I’m gonna’ have him all to myself for two
weeks. You men need to be together tonight and tomorrow
night. I got my other boy here,” dad motioned toward Logan who
was talking to some of the cowboys nearby, “he takes damn good care of
me. I rented us a room for a couple of nights. I
think Sid and Sticker was planning on staying with the sheriff, but
when I told ‘um we’s staying in the motel, they decided to rent a room.”
The evening was
winding down and everyone was getting ready to retire for the
night. We said goodbye to dad, Logan, Sid, Sticker, Kevin,
Jeremy, pilots and they left to return to town and the motel.
Dwayne, Rance and Lamar were staying in the barn. Granddad and I
returned to the double ‘R’ for the night. I don’t think I ever
saw my
granddad so happy and relieved. He was like a new man and it
translated into his love making. We shared some good sex during
the last year, but nothing like we shared that night. There was
no talk of insurance policies. What granddad and I shared
that night was indescribable.
Curtis and I
rode the entry flags again the next day at the rodeo and we won first
place
in team roping. Me and Bart won second place. I won first
place in calf roping again and little Gip won second. It was
another great day, but this time dad and my little brother weren’t
hiding in the sheriff’s box. They were in the stands with Sid,
Sticker, and my other family from home, yelling their
encouragement. At one point the crowd laughed at their
enthusiasm.
That afternoon
was almost a repeat of the previous day except it was a much smaller
crowd and everyone seemed to have a glow about them from the rodeo
going so smoothly. Gip was positively radiant. He was so
happy everything went off like clockwork. He was everywhere that
afternoon making sure everyone was having a good time.
Granddad and I
spent that night together in the double ‘R’ and it was another
wonderful night. He poured more of his good love into me and I
tried to give back to him as much as he gave me. We lay there
together talking quietly afterward.
“I’m gonna’ miss
you, Grampa. Wish’t you was going with me.”
“I hope they’ll
come a time when I can go with you. I’d like to see you and
Vince’s world. Sid and Sticker seem anxious for me to come out to
visit. I might be persuaded to sometime.” he smiled.
“You happy,
Grampa?”
“More happy than
I’ve been in a long, long time, Son. I ain’t been this happy
since me’n Tom Harris was still sharing love with each other. I
loved yore’ grandma, she was a good woman, but the love you share with
your buddy is different. I cain’t put no words on it.
I cain’t define it. H’it’s just different. I hope he’s
smiling down on me right now and can forgive me for turning against
him. I loved him so much.”
“He done told me
he forgave you when he come to me that night afore you was shot,
Grampa. He still loves you.”
The next day was
Sunday and Gip wasn’t having any of the locals over that
afternoon. He let it be known he wanted Sunday to relax and be
with his family and guest. The folks respected his wishes.
He’d done a great job of seeing to everyone else’s happiness for a
couple of days, it was time to let him be for a while.
Everyone went to
church Sunday morning. We were joined by dad, Logan, Sid and
Sticker. Bart, Hank and Brent had been invited for the day
and they were with us, too. I can’t remember a time when going to
church meant so much to me than that day. It didn’t have anything
to do with the service, it was a representation of my life. I had
around me my my past, my present and my future sitting with me.
It was hard for me to concentrate on the service.
After a
wonderful Sunday dinner there wasn’t a rush to rodeo like the last
couple of
days. Sid and Sticker wanted to fly out by about two
o’clock so there was just enough time to get my stuff together and say
goodbye to my family in Chapel Creek. I knew I’d see Master
Waddie and his family back in California after several days. I
felt bad about leaving Curtis, Bart, Brent and Hank. I loved them
all, but they had become special to me. I knew somehow, all these
beloved folks would be a major part of my life.
We left Texas in
Sid’s private jet at two fifteen in the afternoon. Gip, Bart and
Granddad drove us to the airstrip. Others wanted to come, but
there just wasn’t enough room. I said my tearful goodbyes
to Brent and Hank and all the others at the ranch. I said my
final goodbyes to Curtis and Bart at the airstrip. I was touched
by the love that passed between Curtis and my dad upon parting.
They shed more tears and promised to keep in touch with each other.
Flying home was
a fun experience. I was going home with my family for a
visit and I was looking forward to it; however, it was almost like I
left another home behind me. Had I become so attached to Texas
and the folks back there? The empty hole in my heart told me the
truth.
I spent a
wonderful two weeks with my dad and family. It was good to be
home. I worked every day with dad around the ranch, but it wasn’t
really like working. It was more like sharing time doing things
with my beloved buddy. In the evenings we either entertained or
was wined and dined royally by the folks in our community. The
next Sunday afternoon we spent all afternoon at the Wild Animal
Park not far from us and attended an evening barbecue at the ranch
where Master Waddie and Titus live.
I visited
several times with the Winchesters and they came to most of the family
dinners and functions we had while I was home. I got to be with
Sheriff Bart and his family several times. All in all it was a
pretty well rounded visit. I told my little brother not to
be so standoffish. He was welcome to come by and get his Longhorn
fix a couple of afternoons. He thanked me and told me he needed
our dad at least once a week. He was funny.
I had a couple
of good, long talks with dad about the Lazy 8 and the future.
“Son, I talked
with yore’ granddad, and I’ve heard from others this idea that you
belong to me. You will always belong to me, but not in the way
you
might be think'n. I tried to talk
with you the last time you were home about your options and tried to
feel you out about what you might like to do. I don’t want
chu’ to make the mistake of confusing belonging to me and me owning
you. I don’t own you, Son. I never wanted you to think
that. I know you’ve been highly influenced by Waddie
Claymore and his family, but they have a little different take on male
bondings than the way I see things and what I want for you. I
can’t fault ‘um none for their way a’ doing things. Hell, the
proof is in the longevity of their relationships. They must be
doing something right. I know yore’ granddaddy swears by them,
and if’n they’s even partially responsible for his change, they got my
everlasting gratitude.”
“Are you happy
granddad changed, Dad?”
“Of course I am,
Son. Having a dad who has learned to give and receive love
and believes in the cowboy way is something me’n ma’little brother
dreamed about for years. Whatever time we have left is better
than none at all. Just the idea I can be free to love him instead
of hating the man he was makes all the difference in the world.
Always remember, Son, to hate someone takes a hell of a lot more energy
and is harder on yore’ soul than it does to forgive and love them.”
“I’m glad you
made the effort, Dad. I’m proud of you. You’ve always been
my greatest hero, but when you came to Chapel Creek, you topped all my
expectations of you. As far as I’m concerned, ain’t a’ one
a’ them super heros what can hold a candle to my old man.”
“What I’m trying
to tell you is, I don’t wanna’ own you, Casey, and I don’t want you to
think you have to spend the rest of your life devoted to me.
Going out on yore’ own taught me a few things about myself I forgot
about. I will always need you, Son, but I don’t need you to
take care of me. I’ll get by, but if worse comes to worse I know
you’ll be right there if’n I need you. I’ve put my trust in the
good Lord, and I have faith he’ll see me through.
I could see what
you mean to them folks in Texas and you’ve made family there. The
sheriff got me off to myself and told me he loves you like you’s one of
his boys. He weren’t kid’n me none neither. My
brothers Ocie and Bubba think the world of you and so does Bubba’s
boys. I just can’t see you up and leaving them folks with as much
as you got invested there. That ain't to say nothing about Bart
and
his family. It’s plain to ever’ one what’s going on
between you two. You’re plumb head over boot-heels in love with
each other. Maybe you ain’t admitted it to one another, but
ever’one else knows.” Dad laughed at me.
“I guess we are
a bit obvious, but we don’t carry on in public or when we’s working
dad.”
“H’it don’t
matter none. We kin see the way he looks at you and the way
you look at him.”
“He’s got
another man in his life he loves, Dad.”
“You mean the
Chamber’s boy?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Bart's daddy
done
talked to me about that. I won’t tell you what he said, but I
know he’s gonna’ tell you to talk with Bart about it. By the way,
I know’d Hank Conners for years. He didn’t remember me until we
got to talk’n, but I always admired him. I think he’s a fine man,
Son.”
“I think Mr.
Conners is pretty special, too. I’ve decided I wanna’ stay on at
the Lazy 8 for another couple of years, Dad. I enjoy the work,
and if I do take over managing the ranch, it’ll be good experience for
me. I already got some things changed though working with Sticker
and Sid. The cowboys is gonna’ have a lot more time off from the ranch
than before so they kin have some life away from there. The
couple who’s living and managing the ranch house and barns is getting
older and won’t be living there much longer. I got plans for
that, too. I just think I may have found my place at the Lazy 8.”
“You could do a
lot worse in life, Son. I’m proud of you, Casey, and what you’ve
accomplished on your own; damn proud.”
That got my old
man a big kiss and me and good fucking.
I flew back to
Texas by myself on a Sunday exactly two weeks to the day. By that
time, the pilots were used to flying into Chapel Creek. It was a
pleasant flight and we landed about one-thirty in the
afternoon. Guess who was there to pick me up? You guessed
it! Well, hell, . . . how many men can claim to have the
sheriff of a county in Texas as his personal chauffeur? While the
service wasn’t exactly free, I was certainly willing to pay the
price. Gip was so glad to see me, I didn’t even ask. I just
knew we would stop by the station on our way back. It felt
so good to have the sheriff back in my saddle again.
After we had two
fantastic rodeos we lay there relaxing and enjoying each other.
“H’it’s so good
to have you back, cowboy. I was afraid you might git back there
in California and not wanna’ come back.”
“Naw, not a
chance. You cain’t get rid of me that easy, Sheriff. I
love it here, and I love you and yore’ family. I love all the
folks I’ve come to know. My daddy told me he respected the
fact I made family here and he don’t wanna’ see me walk a way from
ya'll. I guess seeing my dad and granddad git back together
has given me a new perspective on love and family. How strong
ties between folks can be and how easily they can be broken by
someone’s foolish actions. I don’t never want that to
happen to the family I’ve built up here in Chapel Creek; however,
neither will I leave my family in California behind.”
“I don’t think
you’ll have to. Yore’ daddy asked me to talk with you about
something, Son. I don’t know how to go about it, but jes’ talk
with you like I’s yore’ real dad. I know you’re a fine cowboy,
and
I dearly love riding the range with you like we done this
afternoon. Some of the happiest moments a’ my life in the last
year’s been spent with you in this here apartment or yore’ coach, but
have you given thought to settling down and raising a family?”
“I ain’t given
it much thought, Sheriff, but I ain’t ruled it out neither. I
love
kids. I found that out with Bart’s boy Brent. I'd love to
have me about four or five jes’ like him running around, but to have
that I have to git married. I ain’t never even been with a woman,
Sheriff.”
“I didn’t think
you had. Yore’ daddy didn’t think so either. To be honest
with you, neither had I until Cindy come along. I was pretty much
like you. I was foot loose and fancy free. I spent several
years riding with my dad’s family and a couple of the other
families. I was running from the draft to git out a’ going to
Vietnam. My daddy and granddaddy made sure I didn’t go over
there and git myself killed. After I settled down, I had me
some guilt feelings about not going, but after a while they went
away. When the folks wanted me to be their sheriff, I decided it
was a better way to serve them than git’n my big, cowboy butt blown off
in Nam for no reason.
It would a’ been
real easy for me to take on a mate with someone from dad’s
family.
I already had me a couple of brothers I was riding with who I was tight
with, but I wanted more. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted
until my brother from Bandera, C. W. Crenshaw, Cass’s baby brother,
decided he was going home after the war was over and marry a girl he
went through school with. I was his best man at his wedding,
and it got me to think’n I wanted me family. Then, too, I
had my granddad and several other good men talk to me about settling
down with a good woman.
I came home to
stay for a while to help my granddad. He just lost my grandma and
was having a rough go of it. While I was home I started dating
Cindy. She’d gone off to college while I was on the road and was
home taking care of her mom who wasn’t doing to well. We’d dated
all through high school and I really enjoyed being around her. We
never done anything ‘cause I jes’ didn’t believe in it. We got
pretty close, and I told her about my life. I didn’t leave
nothing
out.
She told me she
was a virgin, too, but I had a lot more experience than she did.
She wanted to git married and give it a try with me. I told her I
didn’t know whether I could give up my cowboy buddies. She said
she didn’t care about that as long as I took care of her and didn’t
have no cowgirl buddies.”
Gip laughed, and
I laughed with him.
“We dated about
two years and were together a lot. Dad came home to help take
care of granddad and his other dad Morgan while he was
dying. He urged me to marry Cindy,
but I still wuddn’t sure. After couple of years, granddad
was better and I took off on my bike again for a summer to ride with
the family again. It jes’ weren’t the same for me. I
had all sorts of opportunities offered me, but I jes’ couldn’t let
myself do nothing. Finally, an old man I loved very much,
the leader of the family, Master Beryl, sat me down one night and
talked to me. After that night I knew what I had to do. I
had to come back and marry Cindy.
We been together
ever since. Once I learned the ways of a woman, I fell more and
more in love with her. She knows about me and my cowboy buddies,
but she don’t care none. For some reason after a good session
with you, old Bubba or even one a’ my boys, my thirst for Cindy is
double what it was. She seems to appreciate it. ‘At’s why
it’s been so easy for her to think on you as another one a’ her
boys. She really loves you, Casey.”
“I love Ma
Claymore, too, but I don’t know about marriage, Sheriff. I’d like
to have me a family, but I don’t even have me a girlfriend. I
love both yore’ daughters, but I think on them more like sisters.
I like Ruby Rose a lot, she’s jes’ like her momma, but Linda Sue, . . .”
“I know you
don’t wanna’ say nothing judgmental about Linda Sue. You don’t
have to, I know. Her momma and me’s taught her to be
compassionate and forgiving, but she somehow got herself caught up in
the that fundamentalist hog wash. I jes’ know she’s probably
gonna’ end up marry’n some little half-baked, snot-nosed, Southern
Baptist, preacher-man what’s
gonna’ cause me all kinds a' grief, and I’ll probably end up squashing
him
like a bug.” Gip chuckled. He meant it as a joke, but I
knew he had serious concernes about his daughter.
“Now, Rose, on
the other hand, is more like her mother. She’s asked Cindy and me
about you. She don’t wanna’ marry no bible thumper. She
wants to marry a cowboy, and I think she’s got her heart set on you,
Casey. Truth is, ever since the rodeo, she’s been driving me
crazy to tell you. Cindy done told me it would make her happy no
end if’n you two might happen to git together. I ain’t try’n to
suggest
nothing to you. I jes’ wanted you to know. Cain’t say’s it
wouldn’t make me awful damn proud to have you as my son-in-law, cowboy.”
“Gosh, thanks,
Sheriff. Glad ju’ told me. I never considered it, but it's
something to think on. I been so busy with the Lazy 8, my
granddad and my dad, I ain’t had me much time to think on anything
else. Then there’s my cowboy brother Bart. We ain’t been
together but once, but we been riding together ever’ damn day for six
months. I hear tell ever’ one thinks we’s in love with each
other.”
“Are you
kidding? Of course you are. We all see it and joke
about it behind yore’ back. Curtis told me Bart wandered around
them two weeks you was gone like a wall-eyed calf what lost its
momma. Curtis said he never shirked his job, but he jes’
weren’t the same old Bart they all love. Yore’ granddad put the
word out, any man what teased him about it would have to answer to him
personally. I guess no one did. You ain’t gotta’
give your cowboy brother up, Son. Hell, you jes’ try’n give yore’
father-in-law up and he’s libel to throw yore’ cowboy ass in jail until
you come across with sufficient bail.” Gip threw back his
handsome
head and roared with laughter at his joke. “My point is, if
Bart loves you the way I think he does, he won’t never abandon you jes’
‘cause you decide to git married and have a family. Do you think
that cowboy would give up the family he’s got now to ride off in the
sunset with you, whistling ‘Happy Trails’? Ain’t very
likely. He’s devoted to his old man and that kid a' his,
as well he should be. They’s both treasures. If’n you's
worried about that, you let his old man handle him. Hank Conners
knows and believes in the cowboy way.”
“I’ll think on
it, Sheriff. You know what? I shore’ as hell wouldn’t mind
have’n you and Cindy for in-laws.”
That was all we
said about it. We got into Gip’s shower together. He loved
me pampering and bathing him. I didn’t mind a bit. It got
me another chance to suck him off and swallow some hot sheriff
come. By the time we finished and got cleaned up we had just
enough time to drive to the ranch, say ‘hello’ to everyone, have a bite
to eat, grab my clothes and cowboy gear and head back to town to meet
the ranch truck. Garth, Bret, Curt, and Sam rode back in with us
to meet the truck. They had all sorts of new things to tell me
about what was going on back at the Lazy 8. Bart met us at the
sheriff’s station with Brent and Hank. I got to say ‘hello’ to
them again and promised I’d see them the following weekend.
Granddad and
Wade rode into town to pick us up. Lord, you’d think I was gone
for months, they were so glad to see me. Bart, Wade, and Granddad
filled me in on everything. Most all the cowboys who talked with
us at the two rodeos showed up and wanted to try out for a job on the
ranch. According to Granddad we now had a full compliment of
cowhands plus four extra. Wade and Granddad had to decide who
stayed on and who they would let go after another four weeks.
They declared it was going to be hard, because they were all fine
cowboys.
Sticker told
Curtis it was discussed and the board of directors wanted a full
compliment of eighteen cowhands, two cooks and two helper cooks.
Granddad went on to tell me about the new rotation of weekends off and
how all the men were a lot happier with more time away from the
ranch. Bart kept nudging me in the side with his elbow. He
knew I was behind these changes. He seemed a lot happier with the
new changes as well.
We got to the
ranch and Will held supper for us. It was like homecoming with
the older hands, and it was good meeting the new hands again. I’d
met and talked with all of them at the rodeos, including, to my
surprise, Mr. Evelyn Le Fleur. He was very happy to see me
again. Granddad was right. You couldn’t tell him from the
rest of the buckaroos. He obviously went out and bought all new
gear, but he looked the part from his hat down to his big, heavy duty,
buckaroo boots. Gone was his shoulder length hair. He
had his hair cut into a crewcut and he looked completely
different. I didn’t say anything, but I certainly wondered about
his transformation. I was to find out, granddad was right about
another thing, he could roll his own with any of the other cowboys.
Will seemed to
be adjusting well to his new cook-crew and according to Wade Mulligan,
he was pert-damn happy with the new time-off schedule, too. I met
the new second cook and the two helpers. The cook was a middle
aged man who was a mess cook in the Navy and became a cook to another
large outfit in Wyoming. He came highly recommended. Will
wouldn’t approve of him until he cooked a meal for the hands, then he
let them decided to hire him or not. They all voted for him to be
hired.
One of the young
brothers who rode with us before was back. He decided he wanted
to try another year and Granddad hired him on the spot. He didn’t
have to go through the six week trial period. Wade and Curtis
knew he was a good hand and since he was good enough to help us during
a hard time there was no question about them hiring him again. It
was just the cowboy way.
Everything was
different. It was like coming into a completely different group
of men. Even the men I’d worked with day in and day out for a
year seemed different. Everyone seemed more relaxed and
jovial. No one seemed to be grumpy or depressed. Everyone
had a smile on their face and a good word to say. The
transformation was dramatic. Granddad, Wade and Bart told me to
expect a difference. It seemed like the new added feature of
having more time off away from the ranch was proving to be a good
thing.
Bart was
particularly happy with the extra time off. He got to be with his
family more and relax. He told me before the new schedule, he
looked upon working at the Lazy 8 as a means to an end. It was
something to support his family until he could save enough or find
something closer to home to do, but now, he was seriously considering
staying on for a good while longer. Of course he told me a lot
had to do with his saddle partner and what his ultimate goals
were. I was going to talk with him over the weekend about that.
It was a good
week. I rode Big Red several times that week. He was there
every day if I wanted him, but a couple of days I told him he needed
some rest, to take the day off and relax. He seemed to appreciate
my concern. There was always another pony waiting to work with
me. Bart had a couple of favorites he liked and they never seemed
to run from him if he wanted them to work with him. He was a fine
horseman and respected his pony. He had the attitude his pony
came first. He wouldn’t ask them to do anything he felt might put
them in any danger. All the ponies respected him for that reason.
We rode together
all week and Curtis or Wade would send us off to check out an area for
strays or heifers who we knew were near delivery. The weather was
really warm for July. The nights were mild but the days were
almost unbearably hot. We didn’t want to overwork the ponies
because, we didn’t know when we would be able to get water for
them. We always carried large canteens with us in case of an
emergency. Many times we’d stop and give them a little water
whether it was an emergency or not.
We rode into the
box canyon where granddad and socks was shot, and it must have rained a
couple of days before, because the canyon was in bloom and there was
pools of water everywhere. We stopped for a while to let the
ponies get a drink. I was riding Big Red and ask him before we
stopped if he’d like a beverage. He told me he’d appreciate a
cold one. Bart and I found a shady place beneath an outcropping
of rocks that was part of the wall of the canyon. We sat for a
few minute while the ponies drank their fill.
“You know,
Casey, I didn’t find out ‘til the Fourth of July picnic about chore’
uncle who was killed in Nam was named Seth Quee like Bubba’s son.
It got me to think’n it coudn’t be no coincidence his boys were named
Vincent and Seth Quee like yore’ daddy and his brother.”
“Naw, you’re
right, brother. ‘Member me telling you about granddad turning his
back on my dad and throwing him out of his home.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, there was
a little more to it than just him git’n a girl pregnant. About
the time he got my mom pregnant, Curtis caught my dad and Bubba in the
barn one afternoon suck’n each other off.”
“Woah,
dogies! That puts a whole different light on some things.”
“Yeah, I thought
it might. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. To be honest,
when we come back from the weekend at chore’ place, granddad asked me
if I told you about me’n dad. I told him I thought I’d done told
ju’ ever’thing, but I jes’ plumb forgot about it. Since I didn’t
know nothing about you when we’s in California I didn’t see no need to
tell you, but that weekend we spent together changed all that.”
“I know you and
yore’ Uncle O.C. are tight with each other and I’m kinda’ think’n you
and yore’ granddad are too. It’s hard for me to understand how he
could a’ been so upset.”
“He was a
different man back then.”
“Yeah, my daddy
told me he knew Curtis to be a hell fire damnation church going man
back
when dad was rodeoing with his buddy Waylon.” Buck said.
“Yeah, well,
thankfully he ain’t no more.” I allowed.
“I know
better’n to ask about, . . .”
“Play’n hide the
little green snake?”
Bart laughed.
“Yeah, but I
guess a cowboy ain’t got no right to ask that sort a thing about his
buddy.”
“I could tell
you the same thing I told Sticker Wiggins when he asked me if’n you and
I ever knocked boots.”
“Knocked
boots?” Bart took his hat off wiped his brow with his shirt
sleeve and laughed, “Damn, Casey, you come up with some a’ the most off
the wall shit I ever done heard.” he laughed again, “So what’d ju’ tell
him?”
“I told him
cowboys don’t never kiss and tell. He asked me the last day of
roundup before we spent the weekend at chore’ place. I told him I
didn’t know if’n you’d ever consider such a thing. I didn’t know.”
“Wait a
minute! You mean Mr. Wiggins and his boss, Mr. Wainright are, . .
.?”
I just smiled at
him.
“Cowboys don’t
never kiss and tell, right? Okay, I understand. I won’t ask
no more. I guess I got me a lot to learn.”
“The thing is, .
. . would ju’ really wanna’ know?” I asked quietly.
“I don’t
know. I think sometimes maybe I would, but then I ask myself
'why'?” Bart confessed.
“I would never
ask you how things turned out between you and Nick. I didn’t have
to, I knew the weekend you came back after being with him.”
“I didn’t say
nothing. Oh, I see, you . . .”
“No, no, now,—
don’t go there, brother. I ain’t never tried to touch you, and I
never would without chore’ permission. I don’t even hear from
Brent that often. He’s learn’n fast he cain’t be invading
folks privacy when he feels like it. His granddaddy’s being a
fine influence on ‘nat boy. I didn’t need to touch chore’ mind, I
jes’ knew from the way you was for a couple of days.”
“I was confused
when I come back after being with Nick that weekend. His wife
done took his kids away from him, and he's been lonely as hell.
He’s
been drink’n a lot. He asked me over for a Saturday night.
He didn’t have nothing in the house to eat ‘cept’n a stale box a’
pretzels, and he’d been drink’n heavy. I drove him into town to
the DQ for a burger and some fries. He sobered up a bit, and I
took him back to his place.”
“You don’t have
to tell me this, Bart, if’n you don’t wont to. I ain’t judging
you none. I love you, and I’m still gonna’ spend the weekend with
you and yore’ family and enjoy myself. Nick Chambers
ain’t gonna’ come between us.”
“I guess I jes’
wanna’ tell you, Casey. I git the feel’n you think I still love
Nick and I do, jes’ not the same way I love you.” I was going to
protest again when Bart held up his hand to let him finish, “ One
thing led to another and he wanted me to fuck him. I asked him if
he’d cleaned himself. He asked me what I’s talk’n about, and I
explained. He hit the ceiling and told me he weren’t gonna’ give
hisself no enema jes’ so’s I wouldn’t git shit on ma’dick. I
tried to explain to him what we done that night in the back of his
daddy’s pickumup truck was dangerous; his ass wasn’t made for hold’n
shit and my big cowboy dick too. I didn’t give no rat’s ass ‘bout
git’n ma’dick dirty, but I could seriously hurt him. Well, he
weren’t having any of it. I apologized and left. I guess he
reconsidered. He called me about an hour after I got home and
told me he was clean, to come on back over. I apologized again
and told him I’d have to take a rain check. I was already in for
the night, and I’s fix’n to go to bed. He cried on the phone and
begged me, but I didn’t go back over. I could tell he was
drunk. I jes’ don’t like being around him when he’s like that.”
“I’m real
sorry to hear that, Bart. I don’t know what to say.”
“You ain’t
gotta’ say nothing, Casey. I jes’ wanted you to know why I was
different when I come back to the ranch after that weekend. It
weren’t ‘cause Nick and I got it on. I though on it a lot and I
come to the conclusion, I was disappointed we didn’t git it on,
and I felt
bad and guilty because he has no one. At least for now, I got my
saddle partner.”
Bart didn’t
elaborate, but I knew what he meant; he wasn’t getting
needy. That’s what I love about Bart, there’s no hidden
agendas. It’s all right out there on his sleeve. He knows
he can depend on me to be the same man for him day after day. Sex
has nothing to do with it, but love, compassion, understanding,
friendship and companionship does.
It was our last
ride of the day and we headed back to camp. We weren’t in any
hurry. We were taking our time. It was still hot and we
asked enough of the ponies for the day. I apologized again for
not telling him the weekend we were together about me’n my dad, but
since that time things have changed somewhat.
“You don’t owe
me no apology, Casey. I realize why you didn’t tell me until you
know’d me better. Besides, it ain’t been that long since you
visited with us. I ain’t surprised none. You’re right when
you told me I ain’t been around much. I’s unlearned about a lot
of things. I saw how close you and yore’ dad was, but I never
would a guessed. H’it makes sense now.
‘Sides, I got my
dad and my boy to take care of. I’s just thankful I have a family
to love who loves me. I’ve learned a lot from you, Casey,
and for that I'm grateful. I
wouldn’t have my dad to love if’n it weren’t for you. Probably
wouldn’t have my boy, neither. Don’t think for a minute I ain’t
given thought to making love with my old man; however, I know we can’t
do it with an inquisitive six year old who can tune into our
thoughts. Ain’t gonna’ stop me from tell’n my dad how much I love
him and what he means to me.
I’d be a damn
liar if’n I’s to say the thought of you and me ain’t crossed my
mind. I’d love to think one day I could be yore’ man, but I
ain’t entertained the idea for long. I never knew, but I’m
discover’n my
daddy’s a pretty wise old man. He done told me you was way out of
my league. It kinda’ hurt when he told me, but he’s right,
I ain’t got nothing to offer you. I’m just a cowboy. I
accept that, but I told him I don’t care none,— I wanna’ be with you
until you moved on or you don’t need me no more.”
We rode along in
silence for a while watching the sun beginning its journey into
evening. I finally broke our silence.
“Cowboy,— you
have a hell of a lot more to offer than you realize. You have
more than most men ever dreamed of. You have more wealth than you
know. I can’t speak for no one else,— but for me,— I’d rather
have you for a cowboy brother than any man I ever met. I don’t
know what the future has in store for us. I know whatever my
future brings, I won’t leave my dad or granddad behind; but then again,
I don’t think you’d leave your family behind for me either. I
don’t think either of us would ask that of the other. I don't
think we have to. It was my
granddad’s suggestion I tell you about me'n my dad, so if you have
others you might
love as much or more, you wouldn’t deny yourself the opportunity.
That’s why I’m sorry to hear about Nick. I’m hope’n he might come
around later, but you might have to let him lean on you for a while.”
We rode along in
silence for a little longer.
“You mean you’d
still love me as yore’ cowboy brother, even if’n I’s to have something
with Nick?”
“Of course I
would. Wouldn’t be fair of me not to if’n I’s sharing my
love with others. I ain’t ready to make no commitments to nobody
right now. You’s about the closest thing I got to a commitment
right now. I see the other men I love when I can, but it ain’t no
regular thing. We don’t have no strings attached to one another,
not even my granddad; but, there’s a difference in making a
commitment to someone and think’n on somebody as family.
“I guess I
really am dumb. For a long while, h'it never occurred to me you
and Mr. Langtry might
be knock’n boots.” he laughed.
“How do you
think we won the rodeo, cowboy? How do you think you’n me won
Nick’s rodeo and won second place in Chapel creek? H’it’s ‘cause
we love one another.”
“Think we’ll
ever win first place, cowboy?”
“I don’t know
about team rope’n; however, I plan to help my cowboy brother win the
wild, bareback bronc ride’n event when we rodeo in his bedroom this
weekend.” I winked and laughed at him. He laughed then
grinned at me wickedly.
* * * * * * *
I spent the
weekend with Bart and his family and had another wonderful time.
It was even better than the first time. We went fishing a couple
of times and caught a bunch of fish. Brent was twice as alive and
active as he was before; however, now, he was an accomplished horseman,
and he was getting pert-damn good at learning to toss a rope. He
wanted his daddy and I to work with him every chance we got. He
was beginning to make some catches on his pony. He’d get so damn
excited when he roped the steer, he’d forget to dally his rope and it
would get away.
Bart and I made
long, relaxed, leisurely love at night. It was the stuff of
dreams. Saturday night he fucked me until the moon got bored and
went to bed, and the nosey stars came out to play. Laying there
afterward, talking quietly, saying outrageous things to each other, I
realized what dad, granddad, Gip, Bubba, Ocie and all the men from home
told me, I was in love with the big cowboy who had his fine dick
soaking in my ass. This wasn’t my usual I-just-love-‘em-all kind
of feeling. This was something I never felt before. It
just felt right, but it was different. I didn’t feel like I had
to capture it in a bottle and only let it out when I needed a
little. It wasn’t something that was here today and gone
tomorrow. I knew, no matter what lay in store for Bart and me, we
would always be close within each other sphere of love.
“Think you might
wanna’ fuck me sometime, Casey?” he asked, “I ain’t the kind a’ man
what has to be on top all a’ time. I aim to find out how good a
fucker my old man is sometime. I jes’ can’t imagine me fuck’n
him, h’it jes’ wouldn’t seem right somehow. Don’t think I got me
nothing to worry about.” he chuckled.
“I ain’t gonna’
rule it out, but for now, I’m more’n satisfied to have you be my
man. That’s what you want ain’t it?”
Bart took
another long stroke up my butt as if in answer to my question.
“I’ll be yore’
man as long as you need me or want me to be, cowboy. I love you,
Casey.”
“You know what,
brother?”
“What?”
“I love you,
too. I can’t imagine going through life without you by my side in
some way. I don’t know what the future holds. To be honest,
I ain’t given up on having a family. Love’n you and Brent made me
come to realize how much kids mean to me, my dad, granddad and
maybe a few more folks I love. Would you still be my man if’n I’s
to git married and raise a family?”
“I wouldn’t say
no, but I don’t understand how I can be?”
“Same way’s our
sheriff does it.”
“You ain’t
gonna’ tell me, . . .”
I didn’t answer
him, but I smiled real big.
“He was another
one what asked me about us. I told him the same thing I told
Sticker.”
“I’ll be
damned. He’s always been one a’ my heroes.”
“Gip manages to
balance his life pert-damn well. He don’t give up the men he
loves or put himself in a bottle. He don’t have nothing to do
with no other woman but Cindy, but he knocks boots with a number of men
he considers family. He and his dad got together a lot over the
years until his dad bonded with Mr. Titus. What if you decide
later you wanna’ have something closer with Nick? What if you
decide you wanna’ git married again and have another couple of
cowboys? As Brent git’s older what about you and yore’ dad git’n
a little closer? Do you really think, for all them possibilities
you and me is ever gonna’ be that far from each other?”
“I ain’t never
thought about it that way. I just think about a man and woman
git’n married and living together. I guess with two men h’it’s
different and you gotta’ adjust yore’ way a think’n a bit. If'n
Nick had been more honest and open with me, I would a' carried on
a closer relationship with him even after we's both married. I
thought about it many times, expecially after my wife died.
I guess we jes' don't know about situations and how we should handle
'um until we got 'um stare'n us in the face. Then, we don't
always make the right decision. I guess I shouldn't fault
Nick none too much. I's as much to blame as he was. I never
made it no easier on him and I could have. I could a' said
some'um to him to git him to think'n 'bout us being more open
with one another, but I didn't." Bart chastised himself.
“You still got
time to change that, cowboy. Way I sees it, yore' brother
needs yore' help. If'n he goes off the deep end an does
some'um rash, you might live the rest of yore' life regretting
you didn't try a bit harder. I ain't say'n you gotta' sell yore'
soul and let Nick suck you dry. I think you got chu' enough horse
sense you wouldn't let that happen no ways. As far as we're
concerned, even if we
don’t never live together, we’re gonna’ be together on the ranch for a
good
while. I’m probably gonna’ take over managing the ranch in the
future, but I ain’t in no hurry. No matter where life takes me,
do you think I’d ever let go of my main man, my cowboy brother?
Do you think I’d leave you behind? You ain’t git’n rid a’ me that
easy. We’re gonna’ find time to be together no matter what.
We always got us some fish to catch or a rodeo to go to. You mean
more
to me than all the tea in China or all the gold what used to be in Fort
Knox. I meant what I said the other day ride’n back from the
canyon, you have more worth than you know, cowboy. All the gold
this cowboy will ever need, brother, is in that big cowboy heart a'
yore'n. You're one of the few things in life I feel like I can
bank on and never come up short. I couldn’t git
chu’
out a’ my heart if'n I's to put a stick a’ dynamite to it. Look,
Bart, the bottom line is, I love you, cowboy, and
I always will."
“God knows, I
love you, too, Casey.”
We kissed
each other with a kiss that moved the stars around in the sky. It
sealed a bond between us as great as any marriage vows ever spoken in
the so-called world of convention. I lay there in
my cowboy brother’s big arms with him still firmly planted in my
ass. We were quiet for a while when I heard his breathing change
and knew he drifted off to sleep. I didn’t move. I didn’t
want to disturb him or the treasure I had inside of me. I gave
forth with a deep contented sigh and looked at the stars twinkling in
the warm summer night crowding each other for a place in the
heavens. The moon had left much earlier while I was busy
taking care of my man. I didn’t get to tip my hat nor tell it,
“Goodnight, Mr.
Moon.” Still,— I had the silly stars to approve our
performance. I imagined them as
crazed rodeo fans sitting in the stands watching their two
favorite cowpokes win the rodeo in my brother's bed. Beyond
the stars, I had the future
to ponder, and I saw that it was good.
I drifted off
into a deep sleep and found myself riding Big Red, herding cattle
on the Lazy 8. I knew it was spring roundup on the ranch.
My
mature, middle aged, fine looking, cowboy brother was riding on my
right
side. To my left a beautiful young cowgirl about seven or eight
years
old rode up behind us, who looked for all the world like Gip's
daughter Ruby Rose. She told me her ma and grandma sent her to
tell us supper was about ready. She smiled at me, reached out to
take my hand and rode along with us for a
spell. I knew I loved her beyond measure.
Off in the distance I could see eight young cowboys of varying ages
riding
toward us. Following behind them was eight older men I made out
to be Hank Conners, Gip and his dad, Waddie Claymore, Titus, Bubba,
Uncle Ocie, my dad and
granddad like they were riding herd
on the younger men. The oldest of the young men I recognized as
Brent,
but the other seven I didn’t recognize; however, they looked remarkably
familiar. They all were exceptionally handsome young
cowboys. For some unknown reason my heart leapt to my
throat. Bart looked at me, winked and grinned real big at the
sight of them riding toward us.
<< Are you
responsible for this dream, Red?>> I inquired of my pony.
<< No, you
are, man-stallion,— but the look into the future is courtesy of me,
yore’ owner, his dame, and their son, Griz. >>
<< You
gonna’ tell me who these seven, handsome cowboys is, Red? >>
<<
Don’chu’ know, man-stallion? Look closely. >>
Brent smiled,
tipped his hat to me and rode up
beside his dad. He looked like a younger copy of his cowboy
dad. As the others drew closer, I could see their
smiling faces and every damn one of them young cowboys had lavender
eyes. They
all gathered around, said 'howdy' to their little sister, and called me
dad. I wept when I realized I was looking upon the blessed
sight of my own children; one daughter and the seven sons of Casey
Longhorn. With me and dad's
blessing, Curtis changed his last name, and together our family became,
the
Texas Longhorns.
The End
End Of Chapter
48 ~ Texas Longhorns
Copyright 2005 ~
Waddie Greywolf
All rights
reserved ~
Mail to:
waddiebear@yahoo.com
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