“I apologize for
getting so worked up, Son, but chu’ know’d my anger weren’t directed
towards you.” Dad spoke softly to Dwayne.
Dad was standing
behind us and put his hands on Dwayne’s shoulders. Dwayne looked
at me like he didn’t know what to think having my dad touch him
and was looking to me for approval. I smiled and winked at him to
relax. My old man was just trying to show him a little comfort.
Mr. Longhorn. It just means you care enough about me to get upset
and that makes me feel good, Sir.”
“I do care about
you, Son. Hell, we all care about you, so fasten your seat belt,
you may hear me get my dander up again before this evening’s over.
Spence,— ?” Dad questioned Mr. Winchester if he wanted to take it
from there. Mr. Winchester paused for a minute, went to the table
where he keeps his Scotch and poured himself another two fingers.
“I agree with
everything Mr. Longhorn said, Son. I just want to add a few
things. Dwayne there’s couple of things you have to understand
about yourself and what the Colonel’s trying to do to you. First
of all, are you aware you’re a minor under the legal age to have sexual
relations with an adult of either sex?”
“Yes, Sir, Mr.
Winchester, Casey and I talked about that today.”
“Before I get in
too deeply let me lay some groundwork here, so we’ll have something we
can refer to and build on. Son, I’m gonna’ ask you several
questions, and I want you think about them before you answer. Some of
my questions are going to be very personal. I’m asking you to
have unconditional trust in the three of us. Answer as truthfully
and as honestly as you can no matter how embarrassing it may seem to
you. Whatever you tell us won’t go beyond this room. Take a deep
breath. Ready, Son?”
“I want you to
think about before all this started with your step-dad. Other than
masturbation have you ever had sexual relations with anyone, male or
female before him?”
“What da' ya'
call regular, Sir?” Dwayne ginned at Mr. Winchester.
enough question. On an average, how often do you masturbate per
“Uuh, is per
day, okay, Sir?”
and nodded his head.
“Three to five
times a day.”
all?” I asked Dwayne with disdain. “What a lightweight! Hell, I
get that many in before breakfast!” I laughed, placed my elbow
into Dwayne’s ribs, balled my hand up and hit it with my other so it
pound my elbow into him. Dwayne grimaced, then laughed at me.
Spence shot a
glance at my dad. My dad grinned real big, shrugged his
shoulders, shook his head, then started laughing. Mr. Winchester
had his elbow on his desk, put his forehead in his hand, looked down at
his desk, and laughed with his brother. Then he feigned seriousness for
a moment, and shook a finger at my dad.
laugh at them boys! Don’t chu’ do it, Vince! We were just
as bad, and you know it, cowboy!” Then they both roared with
laughter. “Lord, where does it go, Vince? We’re sorry, Son, we
ain’t laughing at you, we’re laughing with you. I wish I still
had a tenth of the sex drive I had when I was your age. Okay, you
answered me honestly and that’s good. Somehow, I just know you
told me the truth.” Then he chuckled again.
“This is a very
important question, Dwayne. From your earliest recollection do
you remember whether you had a sexual preference for men or women?”
thought I really like girls, Mr. Winchester. I’d see a really
pretty girl, I’d wonder about her body and how it might feel next to
mine. My old dick would get hard, and I’d have to go jack-off.
Then other times I’d see a really good looking man, like Mr. Longhorn,
or another guy my age, like Casey, and think about what it might feel
like to be with them, make love and have sex. I’ve jacked
off imagining I’m having sex with girls, and other times I jack-off
dreaming about holding my brother, here, and having sex with him.
It was about fifty-fifty until the Colonel started raping me.
Now, all I can think about is laying down with my cowboy brother next
to me, Sir.”
“For the life of
me, I can’t understand why.” Mr. Winchester tossed off with more than a
bit of sarcasm in his voice. He winked at me and grinned
wickedly. My dad and Dwayne thought that was super funny.
“Okay, Son, that
gives me something to work with. Outside of the men in this room,
can you think of any man you’ve had serious fantasies about having sex
I done told Casey all ready. That’ ud be my dad, Sir.”
understandable. How do you feel about being attracted to men?”
“Like,— maybe I
shouldn’t have those feelings. Like I’m being a bad boy or I’m
liking something different from everybody else. Sometimes I feel
like there’s something wrong with me, and I’m not as good as other guys
because I can’t seem to make up my mind which I like better.
Sometimes I feel guilty ‘cause I think my dad would want me to be
straight, like sex with girls, grow up, marry and have a family.”
“Are you sure
that’s what your dad wants for you, Son?”
Ain’t never talked to my dad about that sort of thing. Never had the
time when I was with him. I don’t know, he probably
wouldn’t care if I turned out to like men better’n women. I think
he loves me an awful lot, and it eats him up he can’t be with me or see
me more often. I love him so bad it hurts sometimes, Mr.
Winchester. I just thought if’n I was straight and have a family,
it might make him proud of me. I love him so much, Mr.
Winchester, I just wish it‘ud been me what sucked him off instead
of our ranch hand. By the way, mom never fired old Frank, the
cowboy what sucked my dad’s dick. He’s still work’n for my
step-dad, but I know my mom ain’t never told the Colonel he was the one
she caught with my dad’s dick in his mouth.”
very interesting, wouldn’t you say, Vince?” Mr. Winchester asked
surprised me when I first found out about it. I wondered about why she
kept him on, but I’ve know’d Frank as many years as I’ve know’d
Dwayne’s parents. Old Frank may be a rounder, but he’s a damn
good hand. Good hands are hard to find. A man’s gotta’ love
being a cowboy to work so hard for so little pay. Frank’s honest
to a fault and works hard without a lot of supervision. He’s worked for
me any number of times over the years. Frank puts in a good day's
work for his pay. Can’t say that about a lot of men. About a year after
all that happened, Dwayne’s mom, Sadie, hired Curley Blake. I don’t
even think Sadie knows Frank and Curley bonded and are a couple now;
have been for sometime. Curley don’t like Frank playing
around. Too bad,” my old man got a wicked grin on his face, “old
Frank,— I swear the man could suck chrome off’n a bumper hitch.”
Dad winked at
Mr. Winchester, and we all laughed. I just knew Dwayne loved that. It
was another one of my old man’s off the wall comments.
along,— when you feel like you’re not living up to what you think your
dad might want for you, can you find a word for it?”
that’s good. Have you ever seen a toy,— I think they’re made in
Russia somewhere,— they’re small, round, egg like dolls, five to ten of
‘em, each one is a different size and they fit inside each other until
there’s only one?”
“Yes, Sir, my
mom has one she got from her grandmother. She’s show’d it to me
several times, but she won’t never let me touch it. Says it’s a
smiled but he didn’t correct my brother.
think of those four words like them Russian dolls and see if you can
think of one word to put them all inside.”
for a moment then his face brightened.
word, Son. I think you even used if a while ago when you said you
felt guilty because you were afraid you might not be living up to what
your dad might want for you. Would you say that’s how you feel when you
think about having sex with men, in general?”
I feel guilty because sometimes I think I shouldn’t be think’n that
“Why do you
think that is, Son?”
“I don’t know,
Mr. Winchester. Maybe it’s ‘cause most folks tell you it ain’t right,
it ain’t natural, or it’s a sin. I listen to them preachers on
T.V. what yell and scream about going to Hell if you have sex with
another man. They scare the shit out a’ me sometimes, Sir.
Lord knows, I don’t wanna’ go to Hell, but sometimes I jes’ can’t help
what I think about while I’m jacking off. I don’t worry about it,
none, until after I get my rocks off, then I feel guilty as Hell. I
wonder if God and Jesus can see me and if they’re gonna’ sent me to
Hell ‘cause I thought about make’n love with my brother while I whacked
doubt a God of love would condemn you to Hell for think’n about loving
your brother, Dwayne. Okay, we’ve established you feel guilty
about your feelings for men. Anything else?”
except,— I guess I’m really screwed up, Mr. Winchester, ‘cause I feel
just as guilty when I jack-off think’n ‘bout a girl.”
you’re perfectly normal. You’ve never been told how to feel or
had anyone talk to you about masturbation, so feeling guilty is a
natural thing. You ain’t alone, Son. Lot’s a’ kids feel
guilty every time they masturbate. Like you, it doesn’t matter
which sex they’re thinking about, they still end up feeling guilty. You’re a
bright, intelligent young man, Dwayne, but you’re also confused;
however, you were confused before your step-dad came into your life.
You can’t understand why your mom would divorce your dad and keep you
and him apart;--- try to keep him from being your dad, over something
simple as another man sucking his dick. Is that right?”
You know me pretty well, Mr. Winchester.”
observation and what you’ve told us, Son. Then, Colonel Dunbar
marries your mom and tries to replace your dad; first as a husband to
your mother, and then, as a dad to you.”
“All this time
you haven’t been getting much love or understanding from either your
mom or step-dad, have you?”
“I ain’t really
thought about it, but you’re right, Sir. I ain’t real sure my mom even
loves me anymore. I know she don’t know what he done to me, but I
feel bad towards her because she married him. In a way, I feel
like it’s her fault. I’m sure the Colonel don’t feel no love for
me. Hell, you don’t love somebody you consider a piece of dog
shit.” Dwayne choked up.
“And, I take it,
the person you love most in the world, your dad, seems impossible for
you to be with. You feel pretty much alone in the world, right?”
If’n it wasn’t for Casey, I think I would’ve run away or committed
suicide. I been thinking about it a lot lately.”
“I assure you,
Son, that won’t be necessary. Try not to even think about it. If
you do and need to talk, either Vince or I are always around.
We’ll drop whatever we’re doing if you need help.”
crying and I put my arm around him to comfort him. Spencer
Winchester’s words were getting to him.
right! You’re worried because you feel like you’re beginning to
like or enjoy the Colonel’s abuse; is that right?”
“Other than the
sexual excitement his actions might provide you, can you think of
another reason why you might like it?”
Sir.” Dwayne slowly answered.
Son. What is he providing you, you can’t find anywhere else in
your life right now?”
Dwayne looked at
me. I had an idea what Spence was getting at, but I knew it had to come
from him. Spence was waiting for him to discover his own
feelings. Suddenly Dwayne looked up at Mr. Winchester and paused
for only a moment.
He’s showing me attention.”
Dwayne. He’s showing you attention and somewhere in the depths of
your mind you’re relating that to love; however, there’s a bit more to
it than that. How does it make you feel when he calls you queer, homo,
cocksucker and faggot.”
Like I ain’t worth a shit.”
“Of course it
does. It would make anyone feel small, dirty and helpless. You’ve
told us you’re really beginning to like the sex he forces on you.
I’m not looking to demean you, Son, nor debase you in any way, but
which one do you like better, sucking him off or getting fucked by him?”
equal, Sir, but I probably enjoy him fucking me a little more.”
“How do you feel
about the enjoyment you feel while he’s fucking you?”
Ashamed,— because, I’m enjoying what he’s doing to me, but I don’t want
to be enjoying it. It just ain’t right! I know it ain’t
right! If’n I was with someone I wanted to give myself to, it
would be different. Goddamn it! I don’t wanna’ give myself
to him, Mr. Winchester. He ain’t worth it! He ain’t got the right
to be doing to me what he’s doing. Hell, I’d even give it to up
to him if he showed me the least bit of affection. He could have
my soul on a bun with a side a’ fries if he just showed me a little
love.” Dwayne yelled through his tears. He was almost
“Go on, Son. Get
it out! We love you, Dwayne. No matter what the Hell you say we
ain’t gonna’ turn away from you, Son!”
“Oh, God, Mr.
Winchester,” Dwayne wailed, “he knows he don’t have to love me.
He can take it from me and make me enjoy it any time he wants. He can
make me love him, he can suck it out of me like a Goddamn
vampire, but he don’t have to love me back. He knows he can pull
my strings and have me begging for more. I’m ashamed to tell
ya’ll this, but sometimes, when he’s through with me, I fall at his
feet, kiss his boots, and beg him to take more of me. I feel so cheap
telling you this, but when I’m with him, I can’t help myself.”
I was really
beginning to get a bit uneasy. Poor Dwayne was really sobbing his guts
out. It was like he was vomiting his soul out of his body before us.
Dwayne! Gut it out, Son! You can do this! You’re almost there!”
“I don’t want to
love him, Mr. Winchester, but I feel so damn good and wonderful after
he fucks me in my ass, or when he fucks my face hard and I get him off.
When he finally broke me, and I just started doing what he wanted, I
found myself working hard to please him just to get him off as quickly
as possible. I would feel so fuck’n dirty and guilty afterward.
Lately, I find
myself trying to work harder to please him longer. I don’t want
him to come too quickly. God help me, Mr. Winchester, I want to
please him. I want to give him pleasure. When I do and he comes in my
mouth or up my butt it’s like I know I’ve really pleased him. He
don’t never tell me, but I know. Something comes over me, a
feeling that’s almost better than getting my rocks off. I don’t
know how to describe it, but I’m beginning to think it’s
addictive. All I know is I want more. I want more of
him. How can I hate what he’s doing to me and still want him so
badly? I only know I want more of it. I have to have it! He don’t
never let me come. One time I couldn’t help myself and he made me
lick it up off the floor of the barn. Then he laughed at me an
told me, ‘See, you little faggot, you have no control over yourself.
You’re so fuck’n queer you can’t even keep yourself from coming when
you’re servicing a real man.’”
My dad was
leaning forward with his arms on his legs, his hands clasped together,
his head hung almost between his legs. I could see his back moving in
jerks and knew my dad was sobbing his heart out listening to Dwayne.
“One more step,
Dwayne, and you’re home free. Can you describe for me the
wonderful feeling you have after you’ve worked hard, done your best to
please him and gotten him off.”
“I feel like
what he made me do was wrong, but I feel free. I feel more alive than I
ever have in my life. I feel wonderful I could do that for him; I could
make him feel good enough to come in my body, but he made me do it, I
didn’t have no choice in the matter.”
“What feeling is
missing, Dwayne, when you’re feeling that way? There’s one
feeling missing. What is it, Son?”
Dwayne hung his
head, his body racked with heavy sobbing. He was unconsolable. I
put my arm around him again and he leaned into me, crying in my
arms. I felt it though his body, I knew before dad and Mr.
Winchester, my brother made a major breakthrough. All I could think of
was, ‘Thank God, for that big man before me;’ who, at that
moment, had the countenance of an angel. Spencer Winchester
positively glowed. He was anticipating Dwayne’s epiphany.
Son, you’ve just figured out why you want to go back for more. You know
what he’s doing ain’t right. He makes you feel dirty and guilty
when he forces sex on you, but— wait a minute,— when you finally give
yourself to him, because you have no choice in the matter, you do your
damnedest to please him; you really get into it, give it your all,
you’re really enjoying the feel of his big dick down your throat or up
your butt; then,— bamm,— he shoots his load and you feel great.
Why? Because you pleased him. You pleasured him. You have
his approval for your efforts up your ass or in your stomach. You
have his love. Better yet, you have his power. You’ve taken it
away from him. You momentarily have his power inside you and best of
all, the most powerful and addictive of all, it’s guilt free.
taken away all your guilt by forcing sex on you! Even though you
enjoyed the Hell out of it, you weren’t responsible for your own
actions. He made you do it. You feel free, because it wasn’t your
fault. You’re soul is blameless; your heart is at rest, and you
are so right, Dwayne,— the feeling is very addictive. You
can’t get enough!
Many folks live
all their lives and never understand the simple fact you just figured
out for yourself. Ya’ see, Son,— there’s so much more to sex than
just getting your rocks off, but I don’t have to tell you that, do
I? You all ready know. Even though the Colonel doesn’t let
you ejaculate, you know the feeling I’m talking about. Down deep in
your gut you know you have to have more.”
There came a
quiet knock on the door. Mr. Winchester hollered to his wife to
come in. Donna Winchester opened the door.
“Dinner will be
ready in fifteen minutes, gentlemen.”
darling. We’re almost through for now. We’ll be right
Donna closed the
door, Spencer went to my dad and put his hand on his back.
“You all right,
Dad raised his
head and didn’t make any attempt to hide his tears. Spence handed him a
couple of tissues.
fine. Thanks, Spence.”
reached a breakthrough point. Time to set it aside for now. I want you
to think about what we’ve talked about this evening, Dwayne. I
want you to talk with Casey and Vince. Don’t be afraid to tell
them anything. They’re your friends and after tonight, I have a
feeling you and Casey are going to be a lot closer.” Spence
chuckled and Dwayne blushed.
“Share love with
your brother tonight, Son, with our blessing. Learn from Casey.
He has a big heart. There’s plenty of room for his brother. Lean
on him and his dad. Then let’s talk again towards the end of this
week or over the weekend. You have one more door to open, but you’re
standing on the threshold. Take Casey’s hand and he’ll lead you
through it. The worst is over. Although you may not comprehend
everything that went on here this evening, bits and pieces will start
to fall into place until the puzzle comes together into a picture you
can deal with. You may feel overwhelmed, but don’t worry about
it. Don’t try to figured it all out overnight. Give it time. It will
come. Most importantly, remember, we love you, Son.”
Dwayne stood and
went into Spencer Winchester’s big arms and shed a few more
tears. Dad and I talked later and decided they were tears of
relief and joy. My brother had folks who cared about him.
Three strong, good hearted men who cared enough to help him through his
darkest hour. His heart was at peace for the moment.
* * * * * * *
Dinner with the
Winchester’s was always a treat. Before we all sat down to dinner
we held hands and Spencer gave a blessing. I’m sure Dwayne’s
parents never said grace before dinner from the way he held my hand. I
could feel it coming through him he was deeply moved by this simple but
meaningful ritual. Donna Winchester cooked a wonderful meal. Talk
around the table was general, about upcoming rodeo’s and sports events
Dwayne and I would be involved in. Nothing further was said about
anything we discussed in Mr. Winchester’s office. I think Dwayne
was a little relieved to let it rest for a while. I could feel his
excitement growing as it got near the time for us to leave. We said our
goodbyes, thanks and promised we’d see them soon; either at their place
After we got
home Dwayne and I had homework to do for a couple of hours.
Dwayne was a good student and when he put his mind to studying that’s
what he did. I was through with my work before him and sat
watching him as he finished. Dad came in to join us before he
went up to bed.
“You two though
with your homework?”
“I finished a
while ago and Dwayne finished just a minute ago.”
Dad barked at by brother.
“Yes, Sir, Mr.
toward my dad. Dad stood up threw his arms around Dwayne and held
“Proud of you,
Son. Damn proud. Spence was right, Son, you can lean on
Casey and me. You don’t have to go through this alone. You
be good to your brother tonight, Son, and treat him right. Spence
was right about another thing. Casey has a big heart and there’s
room for you. So move on in and make yourself comfortable. You’re
always welcome here.”
I could see
tears in Dwayne’s eyes as he spoke to my dad.
Longhorn, I’ll do my best by Casey. I love him, Mr. Longhorn.”
“I know you do,
Son. Now, tonight’s a school night so I want you two to git on
upstairs, take your showers, and go to bed. I certainly don’t
expect you to go to sleep right away, but just remember to be
responsible. Morning comes early around here. Casey’s got
chores to do in the morning before he goes to school. I
love you, both. Gimme’ a hug and a kiss, Case.”
I hugged and
kissed my dad. We lingered in our kiss a little longer than
normal. I wanted to thank him. He felt it and let me.
“You be good to
your brother, too, honcho. Now, go on, off with ya.’”
Dwayne saw the
exchange between me and my dad and if there ever was any lingering
doubt in his mind what I told him about us, vanished. He had a
warm smile on his face as I joined him to go upstairs.
Dwayne and I
showered together. He was a little hesitant at first.
together all the time at school. What’s different here?”
“It’s your home,
Case. The showers in the locker room are much bigger.”
“Yes, and the
shower is smaller here. All the better to grab me a big ole hand
full a’ bubba butt.” I laughed at him. Funny, we never had
a problem after that.
ourselves dry. I dried Dwayne’s back and he dried mine.
“Before we go to
bed, bubba, I gotta’ check on my dad. He sometimes needs
assistance getting in and out of the shower or taking his legs
off. I won’t be but a minute, so watch my T.V., play a game on my
lap top, but don’t chu’ dare play with yourself.” I winked at him
and added. “Been think’n on gettin’ me a big ole taste of my
brother all damn day.”
“Don’t have to
worry none about that, Case. I just hope I can be good for you.”
“Now, cut that
out, Dwayne. There’s no doubt in my mind you’re gonna’ do jes’
fine. We’re buddies, Dwayne, brothers, top guns in school.
We been great together since we met in the first grade. This is
just another step, bubba. I want you to think about
something. You’re the first person other’n my dad I’ve ever
shared a bed with. From what you told us tonight, I’m the first
for you, other than Colonel Jar-head raping you. We’re starting out on
equal footing here.”
Case. You have an advantage, coming to me from a rock solid
foundation of love. I’m coming to you as an emotional cripple.”
brother’s for, bubba? Didn’t you hear what Spence Winchester told
ju’? Trust your brother, he’ll take you by the hand and lead you
I took Dwayne in
my arms and held him tight. He shed a couple of tears, but that was all
right. He damn well deserved to shed a few. I was determined to
make it right for my bother.
“I’ll be back in
a minute, honcho.”
I left Dwayne
going through my lap top and walked to my dad’s room. His door
was open, but I knocked lightly before entering.
spoke then added, “Since when ju’ decide to start knock’n a’fore
coming into our bedroom, honcho?” He grinned at me. He was
sitting in his favorite chair reading a ranching magazine.
“Since when you
decided to start calling your bedroom ‘ours’?” I mocked him.
realized this evening, watching you take responsibility for your
brother, being there for him unconditionally, how damn fast you’s
growing up, and you’re old man got his first twinge of having to let
you go one day.”
“What? You found
a big enough stick, somewhere’s, you think you gonna’ run me off with
it, old man?” I tossed back at him.
He laughed. My
old man knew when he was licked. He grinned real big, and put his
hand up for me. I pulled him from his chair, up to my naked body
and held him.
“I jes’ come in
to see if I could give you a hand with your bath. I got Dwayne playing
with my lap top and told him I might be a minute.”
Not tonight. Ain’t a’ gonna’ take no shower this evening. Won’t do me
no harm to miss a day.”
say!” I laughed rolling my eyes.
“You always did
like me a little this side a’ down right dirty.”
“Bet chur’ sweet
ass, old man. I could eat you alive when you’re a bit ripe; hold
the lettuce, pickle and mayo; just hot buns with lots of juicy,
matured, cowboy beef hang’n in between. Woah, dogies! Makes me
old dick hard jes’ think’n ‘bout it!”
feeling my dick start to get hard against him.
“Damn, Son, you
be get’n as bad as me saying outrageous shit.”
We shared a
“Gimme’ a hand
with my legs, honcho, and I should be set for the night.”
I assisted him
taking his legs off and carefully set them aside. I got his wheelchair
and moved it over next to the bed for him. I took his glass on his
night stand, went to the bathroom and got him some water. When I
came back into the room he was propped up in bed watching me with a big
smirk on his face.
asked, knowing in my heart what he was grinning at.
nervous?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, and grinning knowingly.
really. When you been loved by the best, you learn how to be the
I sat down
beside him, took his dick in my hand, leaned over and gently kissed the
head. He pulled me up into his arms for a goodnight kiss. It
wasn’t our usual peck and a hug. He was telling something.
“Take that love
and give it to your brother, Case. That boy needs all the love we
can give him right now. Spence was right about you, you
know. There’s plenty a’ room in that big cowboy heart a’ yours
for all of us. Damned if that man don’t love you a powerful lot!
He thinks the world of you, Son.
“I got to
think’n this evening, I’m pretty damn fond of him, too, Dad. I
was proud of you this evening. I saw things about you I’ve never seen
before, and they were good, wonderful qualities I guess I never took
the time to notice. We’re gonna’ get my brother through this,
Dad. I just know it.”
see ya’ in the morning. I’ll be in to give ya’ a hand.”
I turned and
walked from ‘our’ room and returned to Dwayne.
* * * * * * *
until he heard the door to Casey’s room close, picked up the phone next
to the bed and dialed the Winchester’s number.
me, Vince. I just wanted to call and thank you and Donna for a
wonderful evening and what you done for the boys.”
brother. It’s my privilege to be included and help whatever way I
can. One way or another, we can’t let what’s happening to Dwayne
continue. I’ve got some ideas I’ll run by you before I throw ‘em out to
“Yeah, I got a
couple to run by you, too, but I think we should let the boys play a
major role in this, if for no other reason, to learn they can take on a
situation like this, reason it out, get help if they need it, and win.”
with you more, Son. How well do you know Dwayne’s dad? Do
you have any contact with him anymore? Should he know about
what’s going on?”
“I’ve run into
Rance several times at different rodeos. We wave, tip our hats,
and acknowledge each other, but we don’t talk. He has his reasons and I
respect them. He knows I love him. I also respect Rance a great
deal; however,— God, no, we shouldn’t tell him under any circumstances,
unless it’s absolutely necessary. I know Rance, and the Colonel’s
life wouldn’t be worth a plug nickle. I’ve seen that cowboy in action
on more’n a few occasions and he’d break Brad Dunbar in two if he
know’d what he was doing to his boy. If you, me and the boys can
handle it, I’d rather keep Rance out of it for his own protection.
Rance is a good man, and I don’t want Dwayne to have to visit his dad
on death row in prison. I’ve got a few aces up my sleeve. I
can call in some debts and can have a pretty impressive posse behind us
with a couple of phone calls.”
“You never cease
to amaze me, cowboy. You know how I feel about you.”
are mutual, brother. I can’t hide much from you.”
called. See ya,’ real soon. Goodnight, cowboy.”
* * * * * * *
When I returned
to my room, Dwayne was reading an erotic short story I wrote last
summer about him and I. It was about my fantasies of having sex with
“Damn, Case, you
never told me you wrote stories. This is fuck’n fantastic! Look
He swivelled in
my computer chair to show me is dick was sticking straight up, and
drooling like a dog in the last stages of rabies.
“I have my
secrets, bubba. You weren’t suppose to see that! How’d ju’
find it?” I laughed.
“I just checked
out your directory and didn’t find no game I wanted to mess with, but I
saw this folder what said ‘my stories.’ I opened it and saw this
one titled, ‘Bubba and me.’ I just wondered and took a
look. Like to blow’d my socks off, it did! Would’ve,
too, if I’d a’ been wear’n any; most likely me boots,
too.” He laughed, then added, “Shit! This be a hot story, Case.
Could I have a copy for my lap top?”
cards right, big boy, and you can have anything the ‘longhorn’s’
got.” I laughed.
Dwayne got up
from the chair and stood before me in all his glory; all the glory and
magnificence of his youth. Dwayne wasn’t a pretty man. He
had a ruggedly hard, chiseled look about him that reminded me of
unfinished masterpieces by Michelangelo; ones he roughed in the facial
features and never quite finished. They were raw, strong, virile men
trying desperately to come to life from the stone they were imprisoned
in. Sometimes I would look at them and understand why he might not have
finished them. Perhaps he thought they were finished as they
were. To have finished them would have been to ruin them.
So it was with
my beloved brother who stood before me, raw, strong, virile, unfinished
and incredibly appealing to me. I slipped my arms around his waist and
pulled him to me until our dicks were fighting for room between our
“You know this
is against the law in California, don’t chu’?”
“Two naked men
holding each other?”
cockfighting.” I laughed, he groaned.
deeply into my eyes and I saw his eyes began to glisten with moisture.
I quieted him as I moved to cover his mouth with mine. My brother
didn’t need any further words. He was finally home. He was free.
He was in the arms of his beloved brother. He had come in from the cold
and was warming his soul from the fires burning brightly within us. His
unimaginable dream had come true. Dwayne felt himself falling,
hopelessly into Casey’s urgent fire. It wasn’t frightening to him. He
knew this fire would not threaten to consume his soul. This was a
fire, a fire of love, passion and understanding, that would give him
back his life. Casey took his brother’s hand and led him across
the threshold of his final door of understanding. Casey would show
Dwayne the way, not be taking from him, nor giving to him, but by
sharing with him the secret rites of passage his father taught to him.
Dwayne would become a part of Vincent Longhorn’s legacy for a greater
future of unconditional love between men.
Still caught up
in the passion of their embrace, Casey slowly moved Dwayne towards his
bed. They were within a couple of feet when Casey pulled them down
across the bed to continue their kiss. They felt, explored and
held each other bound in the first kiss each had shared with another
man their own age. They both knew its significance and didn’t
want the moment to end. They wanted their first kiss to echo
down, through the sacred halls of the centuries, as a sign post to
their love in the universe as any supernova might mark the foretelling
of the birth of a king. They finally broke their kiss and
continued kissing around on each other.
Case, y’ain’t gonna’ make fun of me if I cry, are ya.’”
“Not if you
don’t make fun of me, honcho.” I said through my tears.
“I never knew it
could be like this between two men, Case. Hell, between any two
people. I’ll remember that kiss the rest of my life.”
“Like my dad
said, let’s be responsible and get to the main course. Some other night
we’ll have more time to relax, take our time and make a little more
love. I could make love all night to you, bubba.”
Casey turned in
the bed and got into a sixty-nine position. Without further ado
he took Dwayne’s dick in his mouth and started to suck him.
Dwayne placed his hands on Casey’s head a saw his brother’s big cowboy
dick winking at him up close and personal. Casey was so damn big,
Dwayne didn’t know if he could even get his mouth around it, but he was
willing to try. He thought to himself, it would be ashamed not to
learn how to eat something that looked so appetizing.
He had a wicked
thought, measured against his brother, his step-dad’s dick looked like
a junior miss. Dwayne remembered how good the Colonel’s cock felt up
his butt after he broke Dwayne in and loosened him up a bit.
Dwayne could only dream of how, the penis before his gaping mouth,
might feel deep within his gut. Wickedness must be catching. The
only thing he could think of was Casey’s dick could easily encompass
both phrases, ‘Texas Hospitality,’ and ‘Southern Comfort.” He
knew it was big because he grew up with the man; however, to be looking
down the fully loaded barrel of the ‘longhorn’ was an intimidating
Fuck the size,
it was his brother it was connected to and he had no intention of
letting him down. Dwayne tried to imagine his jaw like that of a
snake who has found a large egg, bigger than its body, and somehow
unhinges his jaw to accommodate its girth. It must have worked
because the next thing he knew he took one big lunge and had a mouth
and throat full of ‘longhorn’ dick. He heard his
brother gasp as his dick entered Dwayne’s throat. Casey almost
had Dwayne to the breaking point and it was feeling better and better
to him. Dwayne made a valiant effort to make love to his
brother’s dick. He thought to himself he wasn’t going to let the hours
he was forced to spend sucking and choking on Colonel Jar-head’s dick
be for naught. ‘Oh, God,’ he prayed to himself, ‘let some good
come of the evil he forced upon me.’ His prayer must have been
heard, when suddenly, his throat dilated and he found about half of
Casey cock was steadily pumping down his throat.
Then Dwayne felt
it! He felt Casey’s finger at his rosebud pushing slightly.
That was enough to set Dwayne afire like a skyrocket in flight. He
shoved back with his ass and took his brother’s finger as deep as he
could within him. He couldn’t hold it any longer, but he couldn’t
yell to Casey, either. His mouth and throat were too damn
full. He gently squeezed his brother’s leg to let him know, but
it was too late. Casey was greedily consuming volley after volley
of his brother’s thick, ropey, come.
Dwayne took one
huge lunge on Casey’s cock and felt his brother’s mighty, cowboy wad
begin its ascent up through his ‘longhorn.’ Dwayne learned from
sucking his step-dad when to pull back to catch all his come in his
mouth, so he wouldn’t miss any, but also, he would be sure not to
spill a drop. One of the worst beatings the Colonel ever gave him was
for spilling a small bit of his seed. That was not the case now.
Dwayne wanted to taste and revel in his brother’s cowboy spunk. He was
The young men
lay there making love to and cleaning each other’s penis,’ until Casey
turned around to hold his brother in his arms again. He gently
kissed Dwayne on his forehead, on each cheek, the tip of his nose, and
finished his odyssey by gently placing his mouth over his
brothers. This kiss was a gentle, relaxed, more sharing kiss of
thanksgiving and appreciation for each other’s efforts toward a shared
“That was fuck’n
unbelievable.” Dwayne whispered almost breathlessly, continuing
to kiss around on Casey’s face and neck.
“It was pretty
damn special, bubba. See! See what sex can be like when you
care about the other person and you know they care about you.”
“I love you,
Dwayne. For years I been dream’n of holding you close, and
whispering in your ear how much I’ve always loved you from the time I
first saw you on the playground in grade school. You had a bat in your
hand and wave for me come join your team. You’d never seen me
before. You didn’t know whether I could play ball or not.”
“Yes, I did. I
know’d who you was. I watched you lots of times playing ball with your
dad in the park. You just never saw me or knew who I was then, but I
knew’d who you was. My dad pointed you out to me. He told
me who you and your dad were. He also told me something strange I
ain’t never told nobody. I didn’t remembered it until you brought
up the subject of playing ball. He told me to be good to you, to
treat you like a brother, it was important, and someday he would tell
me why. Case, ain’t never loved another body like I love you, and
all this we done tonight is,— like icing on a cake; a very wonderful
going to be easier for you now, brother. I have good feelings
“So much has
happened to me in such a short period of time it’s hard for me to
comprehend it all, but you’ve been there by my side every step of the
way. For that, and for your love, I’m grateful, Case. Even
when the Colonel had me tied-up in the barn, all I could think of was
you holding me in your arms, gently kissing my neck and comforting
me. I’d get a massive hard-on, he’d come out to find me hard as a
rock and laugh at me. He thought it was because his abuse was
turning me on, but it was something much greater than he ever dreamed
of, something he had no power over. It was your love, Case. It
surrounded me, comforted me and protected me. I love you so much, Case.”
Dwayne began to
shed a few more tears and I held him tight. I knew we had to get to
sleep soon because I set my alarm to go off a little ahead of my
dad’s. I held him and kissed him some more until he settled down.
“Let’s get some
sleep, bubba.” I whispered to him.
“Don’t let me
go, Case.” He pleaded.
“I won’t never
let chu’ go, Dwayne. You’re my brother.”
End of Chapter 6
~ Texas Longhorns
Copyright 2005 ~