Date: Tue, 29 May 2012 15:13:54 +0200 From: Shawn Edwards Subject: Diary of a cum slut 3a I left the water and basked in the sun besides the pool. It was 1pm. I was the only one there so i just wore my speedo. I closed my eyes as i let the sun sink. "Hey," i heard Chris voice. "Hie," i said. I sat up and he sat down. "Fancy goin out?" "Where?" i replied with another question. "You shall see," he smiled at me. I didnt want to go. I knew it was wrong but his smile made me want him. It made me give in to my desires. He took my hand and i followed after him. We went to his house and he dressed me in his three quarter shorts and t-shirt. He took me to his car and we drove off. I didnt care where he took me. So long as i was with him. We drove out of the city and pretty soon we took a left turn and went up a rocky hill. We got to the top of the hill and got out of the car. The place was beautiful. There was a dark green lawn with small daisies. It overlooked the city of Houston. I looked to the side and saw a cloth spread on the ground with a basket. I knew then that he had a picnic in mind. We sat and ate in silence most of the time. We were both unusualy silent, not that we talked much but i could sense something was wrong on both ends. On my end i was troubled with the fact that i was on a date. The more i saw it as a date the more it troubled me. I knew it would complicate things. I was inlove with him though i tried to fight it. There was no way i could win the fight. I knew i would loose and surrender my heart to him. I wasnt ready to do that. In the end there was a question that lingered in my mind. Why had i agreed to come? It would further weaken my defenses being with him hence letting him walk right in and take over me. Those were my thoughts as i ate in silence. He was also silent. "So what do you do for a living?" Chris finaly broke the silence and i wished he hadnt. "I work the night shift at a 24hr flower shop," i lied. "Dont lie to me," he said seriously. "Im not lying," i said with ease. "Dont play coy with me. You are a prostitute," Chris said. I froze. How on earth had he known my secret. My cat was out of the bag and never coming in again. I couldnt think straight and all i could do was drop my food. I stood up and ordered him to take me home. I felt angry, ashamed and betrayed. It was all an outburst of mixed emotions and they were freaking me out. Would he love me again? What would i do next? How would he see me? I was so worried i even forgot he was an ex porn star. I sat in the car in silence. He sat besides me and i looked out through the window. I couldnt look him in the eye. The drive was even more awkward than the picnic itself. I knew he had been silent because he had been thinking about it. I knew i was beyond screwed. Though love with Chris was totaly out of the question. I knew i had sucker fierce to fall back to. I would work till i forgot he ever existed. I looked at him at the corner of my eye and looked out again. He was angry and i could see it. Why couldnt he be? I had been a lying bitch. He had confessed and told me he was once a porn star but quit. I had lied and pretended i was holier than thou. He had done so because he wanted to commit. I had been unfaithful and the fact that i was doing other men disgusted him. He would hate me forever. He dropped me and we both went to our apartments in silence. It was already 6pm and nearly work time. I showered absent mindedly and sat on my dresser to make up. Alex was more powerful than sucker fierce now. I now understond why they said love conquered all I wanted so much to work but at the same time i didnt. I worried about how Chris saw and thought of me. It was now that i could see i loved him desperately. He was one in a million. He burned my gasoline and i would rather die young than live my life without him. I would rather not live at all. After minutes of war with myself i decided to work. I would busy myself and try to get over him. I put on my make up and checked my emails. My Nigerian regular was there. I would start with him. If he fucked the life out of me then i would forget about Chris. I left my apartment in silence, trying to hide from him so he couldnt see or hear me leave. I entered the hotel room. He sat on his usual spot and smiled broadly at me. His smile reminded me of someone who i thought had died a few minutes ago. It brought him to life. His teeth were shiny white and looked more white because of his ebony african skin. I then saw Chris face and my heart pounded. I shook my head and saw his own handsome dark face. I wouldnt let Chris ruin my work. I did my usual strip tease as he smiled. I dont know how i did it but when i came back to my senses i was already taking him down. All 12in of his black rod were down my throat. I knew then that i had been absent minded. I tried to focus but whenever he touched me i felt Chris and not him. This was bad. I felt his first load fill me all of a sudden and realised i was absent again. I wasnt giving my all. My dick wasnt even erect. I stood up and he kissed me. I didnt kiss him. He could sense something was wrong but chose to ignore it and enjoy me. He would take me however he wanted because he saw i wasnt initiative. He bent me down and roughly entered me. I felt pain. This time it didnt come with pleasure it was just pain. He pounded me more aggressively than ever and my work had never been this painful. He lift me up roughly and slammed me into a wall. The pain was doubled. I deserved all the pain in the world. I was a bad bitch and he wouldnt forgive me. I had to try and set things straight with him. "You are hurting me. Stop! Please!" i begged. he increased his pace deliberately. "Cant you take it bitch!" he said. "Please! Stop!" he wasnt stopping. This was nolonger sex. He was raping me and wouldnt stop till he wanted. I elbowed him on the abdomen hard and he stopped and groaned holding his abdomen in pain. His dick slid out as he backed away from me. I kicked him on the face as he was bent in pain. He screamed and cursed when he fell. I took my clothes and wore them then got away before he woke. I ignored the pain as i ran. I had broke the rules by hitting a client. It was against the man whore laws. He would influence the others and i would lose customers. I now didnt care. I had considered myself out. I had quit. I had retired and i had a new game plan. I would go to Chris and apologise. He was once a porn star and he of all people couldnt judge me. He would forgive me and i would beg him to love me. The drive got longer. I couldnt wait to get there and plead my case. I parked my car and rushed to his apartment. I knocke loudly for sometime then tried the door. It was locked. I took my cellphone and tried his number it was on voice mail. I looked around looking for someone to ask. I wouldnt rest till i found him and told him how i felt. I wouldnt rest until i let him know that it was him he was the one i loved. The one i needed the one i saw and he put my love on top. He had to know that i would give anything for him and i would quit my job just to be with him. I knocked again loud though i knew he wasnt home. I heard some footsteps and my heart skipped a beat. It was him. I looked in the direction of the footsteps and my heart sank. I was Vic another ternant. He seemed to be coming to me. Yes he was. He smiled. "You lookin for Chris?" he asked. "Yeah you seen him?" i asked. "He left something for you," he said handing me a small letter. I took it and he quickly walked away. My heart pounded now. I slowly and hesitantly opened the letter and my heart nearly ripped my chest open. It read: DONT YOU DARE TRY TO LOOK FOR ME. DONT EVER COME NEAR ME I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR LYING ASS AGAIN. I THOUGHT I COULD LOVE YOU BUT I WAS WRONG. HAVE A NICE LIFE YOU BITCH AND LETS SEE IF ANY ONE OF THOSE BASTARDS LOVES YOU LIKE I DID. HAVE A NICE LIFE. I wanted to cry but i couldnt. I wouldnt cry. I hadnt lost him already, no, not without a fight. He was mine and thats how it would end. With SUCKER FIERCE and ALEX combined he would be mine. All i had to do was look for him