This is my story. It came from my brain. Some of it is based on my real life experiences, some of it is purely made up fantasy. What is what, I’ll leave you wondering about. Just don’t think of harming real children in any way!

Please, do not post this on any sites other than, and the sites affiliated with, such as At least not without asking permission.


The weeping boy.
- or how I became what I am today.

The boy was still weeping.

He was curled up on the couch hiding his head in my lap. He had been crying for a while now. At first he had cried loudly, enraged, hurt. Now he was sobbing in a way that told me he felt hopeless, betrayed and like his life could have ended just then.

In multiple ways I felt the same as him. I was trying to come up with ways to make his hurt go away. I loved the boy with all my heart. I would rather have given my life than for him to ever experience whatever feelings was rushing through his mind and body right now. It didn’t make me feel any better knowing that I was, in part, responsible for his pain.

However, to really explain why this boy’s tears were slowly seeping through my trousers into my underwear, I’ll have to rewind for quite some time. As that is where it all began.

Chapter 1.
My early years.

I had just graduated from high school and as any man knows, at just 18 years of age, you probably don’t know what you’ll be doing for the rest of your life. Sure, you may have dreams and goals. Meet a nice girl, get married, a nice house, nice car, nice job and eventually some kids. And grow old dying happily in the end, knowing that you did the best you could. I don’t think I ever thought about dying, at least not back then.

However, I did think a lot about girls. And sex. Heck, I probably fantasized more about sex than I really thought about girls. I started thinking about sex when I was around 10 years old. I already knew how babies were born, the theory anyway. I knew somehow a man and a woman would have to work together to have the man’s sperm meet with the egg from the woman. And then a baby would be made.

I didn’t know much more than that and I certainly wasn’t all that curious about it either. It somehow sounded like a lot of work and I didn’t particularly like babies at 10. All they ever did was cry and crap in their diaper so someone would have to change them. My best friend had a baby sister join his family about a year earlier. So he told me all about her and how she sometimes crapped so much that it would overflow the diaper and mess up her clothes.

So I was really happy I only had an older brother. He could be mean, but at least he didn’t crap his pants and stink up the entire house. He was 6 years older than me and we were really not very good friends. I saw some pictures my mom took of me and my brother in the bathtub together when I was like 2 or 3 years old. We were both covered in soapy foam, grinning at the camera and looking very happy. Somehow that changed.

Anyway, back to the sex. That’s a lot more interesting than my mean brother. It wasn’t even him who introduced me to jacking off, as I’ve later heard is fairly normal. It was my friend, the one with the baby sister. Casey is his name. That it was Casey who taught me all about jacking off, should come as no surprise to those who knew us back then. We did almost everything together, even if we went to different after-school activities.

Casey was really good at most sports, but I wouldn’t call him a brainless jock. His favorite thing was spring gymnastics and especially the trampoline. Sometimes I would go with him after school to watch him and his team practice, but I wasn’t interested in joining them. I’d just sit and wait, then go home with him afterwards and play games on the console.

I was more your standard geek. I had an old Amiga 500 with a lot of games but also had a lot of accessories hooked up to it. Electronics was my thing too, so I attended a weekly activity where we learned how to solder and make our own circuit boards and other cool stuff like that. I was the only one in my class at school to have an intelligent bedroom back then. I mean, I could control the ceiling and bed light from my computer.

Not only that, but also with the push of a key, I could control the curtains in my window and the lock on my door. The lock was of course to block my brother from entering my room. I don’t know what my parents thought about the lock, I don’t think they ever said anything to me about it. Having a lock on the door became really important the day Casey told me in school that he had something really fun to show me.

He wouldn’t tell me what it was while we were at the school, even if I kept nagging him about it at every recess and in woodwork class. In the end he did say that it was something to do with our private parts. I couldn’t wait for school to end that Monday and as far as I could tell, neither could Casey. When the last bell finally went, we hurried to our bikes and pedaled as fast as we could back to my house. And to my room, where the door was quickly locked behind us.

Ok, we have to drop our pants and underwear too,” Casey explained to me looking rather excited. I shrugged and casually did as he said. It wasn’t like we hadn’t seen each other naked plenty of times before, either changing into pajamas at night or showering after PE class at school. Casey’s excitement was contagious though.

What are we going to do?”

Just sit on the bed next to me and do what I do.” Casey sat down with his pants and tighty whiteys down by his ankles and started to pull and release his peter rhythmically.

Oh, I’ve done that before,” I said, wondering what all the fuss was about. I mean, sure it was a somewhat nice feeling you could get from pulling your peter like that, but it was nowhere near as exciting as Casey had made it sound at school.

No, you haven’t. Well, at least not until you get the feelings.”

What feelings?”

Just keep doing it, it’ll feel really good if you keep playing with it.”

And play with it I did. My peter was soft in the beginning but it quickly stiffened as only a young boy’s dick will. Soon it was hard as a nail and I looked over at Casey to see what he was doing. He had gripped his uncut peter by the end and was skinning back his foreskin on the down stroke and bringing it back up over the head on the up stroke.

Do it like this, and when you feel it starts getting better do it a little faster,” Casey explained like he was teaching me how to skateboard. Yes, he had actually taught me how to skateboard and play basketball and such.

This is way cool,” I said in a low voice.

Just wait and see, it’ll get 1000 times better,” Casey grinned at me.

Do it just a bit faster now, and then slowly increase speed,” Casey was starting to sound a little out of breath and had to stop talking every second or so. His fingers were moving his foreskin up and down faster and faster and I increased my own tempo.

It feels like I have to pee,” I gasped after some minutes had passed while we were both stroking our peters.

Whatever you do, don’t stop and stop talking until it’s over!” Casey desperately said while upping the tempo yet again. His stroking was really fast now and not as smooth as earlier. I myself, had problems keeping the speed steady too, as the urge to pee got increasingly stronger and some other weird sensations were spreading from my groin into my lower stomach. Weird as the sensations were, they were also great.

My arm was getting tired and I was beginning to worry that I wouldn’t be able to keep this up until I got the ‘feelings’ Casey had told me about. But I hadn’t needed to worry as suddenly I gasped loudly and had to close my eyes tight. It felt like they were about to pop out of my head. And now it felt like I was actually peeing, only the sensation was far better than that. My peter felt like it was burning and yet it kept sending waves of joy throughout my body.

I had to stop stroking it, I just couldn’t take anymore. And slowly the waves decreased in strength, yet my heart was pumping like I had just swam a 400 meters individual medley. While my heart slowly decreased the pump rate, I had this feeling of relaxation spreading in my body. I absentmindedly fiddled with my peter which was still hard but by no means ready to go again so soon.

While I had been concentrating on my own feelings, Casey had gotten his feeling too and just lay back breathing rapidly with a content smile on his face. I’m sure I looked just as content as I was reflecting on all of what had happened the past 10 minutes or so.

So, did you like it?” Casey asked me in a gentle voice.

Oh, dude!” I said excitedly, “I think this will be my new favorite thing to do.”

Chapter two.
Learning more about sex.

As it turned out, jacking off did become a regular thing I did with Casey. Every time we were together, we’d jack off at some point in between the other stuff we did. The next summer, when we rode our bikes to go swimming in a lake 7 kilometers from the small city we lived, we would take a break around the middle mark of the route. There was a field with wheat next to the trail, where we would dump our bikes so they couldn’t be seen from the trail and we would walk 20-25 meters into the field.

We’d lay down on our towels next to each other and skim our shorts down and tshirts up. There we would jack off, hidden from view by the wheat and afterwards we’d lay there looking into the sky quietly talking and just enjoy our company before one of us meant it was to get moving again. We’d rearrange our clothing, put the towels back in our backpack and ride on to the lake. More than one time, we’d find a quiet place at the lake where we could jack off again.

Casey told me one night when he was sleeping over with me, that he had learned how to jack off from his cousin. And now he had spent a weekend with this cousin again. His cousin had taught him some more.

This new thing actually feels even better than jacking off,” he told me.

Even when we jack each other?” I asked. We had started doing so not too long ago and I still thought it was great both receiving and giving. I truly enjoyed watching Casey’s face as I jacked him off and could tell by his facial expressions if what I was doing felt right to him.

1000 times better than that.” Yeah Casey did say that a lot. “Maybe even ten thousand times better than jacking off.”

Now I was intrigued. I mean, I had heard him say that x was 1000 times better than y, but 10000 times better? Never.

What do I do?” I asked him.

You suck my peter, then I’ll suck yours.”

Woah! No way, dude,” this sounded so gross to me, “you pee from your peter. I don’t want your pee in my mouth.”

We’ll go wash our peters before we suck on them, you dummy.”

I still wasn’t completely sold on this project of his and I let him know that it would be better if he sucked me off first, so I could see what he did. After all, he must have had sucked his cousin off, so I thought it was only fair he’d do the sucking first.

Ok,” was his simple reply to that, “I’ll go wash mine first, then you wash yours off afterwards. Just don’t wash it with soap. It doesn’t taste any good if you do.”

Fine, just keep an eye open for Tom, I don’t want to run into him.” Tom was my brother. Thankfully the layout of my house was such that Tom’s bedroom was in one end of it, whereas mine was on the other end. My bedroom door led into a narrowish hallway, next to my room was a walk-in closet where mom kept linens and seldom worn clothes and crap like that. Next to the closet was the bathroom, then my parents’ bedroom and finally Tom’s never-to-be-entered bedroom.

On the other side of the hallway was the living room, kitchen/dining room and small entry hall full of outdoor clothing. My parents were in no way rich, but we weren’t exactly poor either. We had a rather large Ford. Large, due to the caravan we had and the fact that almost every school we would hook the caravan to the Ford and go towards southern Germany, France, Spain or even the old Yugoslavia. We’d spend 3-4 days on the road to get to our final destination, stopping for the night either in a caravan park or a truck stop over on the highway.

Those vacations were some of the best times I’ve ever had in my life, only made a bit sour due to having Tom with us. However, most of the time we spent vacationing, Tom was actually behaving almost friendly towards me. I never really understood what I did to piss him off so much, I hardly ever broke any of his stuff. If you don’t count the time where I used his acoustic guitar as a target for darts when I got tired of having to use a step ladder to retrieve the darts from the dartboard.

Or when I stole his weed and smoked it at age nine. Or told on him every time I saw him do something he wasn’t supposed to do. Ok, let’s just be honest, I was a nuisance as a little brother. And I loved getting Tom into trouble, even though I knew he would revenge it every time he could. I guess that’s why someone invented locks for doors right? My door actually has marks on it from where Tom pounded his fists against it or kicking it in rage.

Which did happen quite a lot, when our parents weren’t home and Tom was supposed to watch me. Well, he did watch me like a hawk, or at least kept looking at my door, hoping to catch me when I had to leave my room to get something to drink or go to the bathroom. From an early point in my life, I learned that I could pee into a bottle or a glass and pour the pee out my window. And always have a large bottle of water in my room. Yeah, Tom wasn’t too smart. I guess I got the brains, and he got, well, whatever it is he got.

Well, Casey was leaving my room to go wash his peter and I really had nothing to fear as this was a Saturday night and my parents were actually home. When Casey opened the door, I could hear the TV in the living room. It sounded like my parents and Tom were watching a 16+ movie, since I was in my room with Casey anyway. I could at least hear someone screaming and gunshots from the TV. I assumed it was from the TV, since gunshots in my country was really rare back then.

It didn’t take Casey more than 2 minutes to return to my bedroom with a smile on his face.

Squeaky clean and I even peed while I was out there anyway. ‘Course I peed before washing it.”

Good, I’ll do the same,” I said and went to the bathroom and did exactly that.

When I came out from the bathroom, my mom asked me if I wanted some soda pop and chips to take to my bedroom. I could see that they were having the same on the living room table, so I agreed. Soda pop was nothing out of the ordinary on the weekends in my family, but candy was really a rarity. We weren’t fat or anything, but candy leads to cavities and I had enough of those already. So I only really had candy when I spent the night at Casey’s.

Mom got up and into the kitchen where she put two plastic glasses, a 1 liter bottle of cola soda pop and a bowl of chips on a small tray and said I could take it into my room. She let me have it along with a stern warning not to make a mess in my bedroom and if I did I’d have to clean it up myself. Knowing that was somewhat an empty threat, I nodded and took the tray to my bedroom where I had to gently kick at the door to have Casey open it for me.

Alright!” He exclaimed when he saw what goodies I was bringing and closed the door behind me, before he went to the Amiga to hit the right key for the door lock to engage. To say that he was impressed with my remote control is a bit of an understatement. He always wanted to hit the keys when he was in my bedroom and I let him, just because that’s what good friends do. To give him credit though, he usually came up with the best ideas of what to do with the computer.

Not only that, but he was my only source of sexual knowledge back then. But what an endless bag of cookies that source turned out to be.

Want to get started on these munchies,” I asked him, while pointing at the tray I had put on my small table, “or this munchie?” pointing at my groin.

A small appetizer would be great,” he said guffawing at me.

Hey, it’s bigger than what you got!” And that was a fact. Casey was 5 months younger than me and my peter was the second biggest in our class at school. I know, because the one who had the biggest, and also already had grown some hairs down there, had shown it to the entire class during recess once. All stiff too. Standing on one of the tables making stupid sounds with his hand pulling down the front of his shorts and underwear.

That really cracked up the entire class, all 15 of us, laughing our heads off, but I’m sure some of the boys looked at him with envy too. The girls were all giggly and couldn’t really figure out which way to look. None of the teachers ever found out, but soon pretty much every student in school knew what had taken place during that recess and teased him terribly about it. He never regretted it though, I know, because he told me after he had fucked me silly with that big thing. But that happened later on.

It was around 9 PM so me and Casey agreed to just get ready for bed which wasn’t such a hard thing to do, as we had both taken to sleeping in only our underwear about a year earlier. So we just shed our clothes, including the underwear, seeing as we’d have to have access to the important bits anyway. My important bit was already stiff, shaft curving to the left, and it had grown a bit since the day Casey showed me how to jack off.

Casey’s hadn’t grown much, but still wasn’t the peter of a small boy anymore. My 12th birthday was in December only 3 months away, and Casey’s would be in March, so we were in the very early stages of puberty by now. I guess mine was about 10-11 cm at that time and Casey’s about 1 cm shorter. Not much, but enough to make it count. I got on my bed, and Casey got on his knees on the floor next to me.

Ready for the time of your life?” He asked me with a goofy grin on his face.

Do your worst,” I smiled and leaned back on my pillow with my hands behind my head. I wanted to be able to see what Casey was doing and still be comfortable.

I held my breath as I saw Casey bend over and saw him take hold of my peter nearly all the way down at my still very hairless pubic bone. He pulled on the skin of my peter and the foreskin slid back revealing my slightly blueish crown. I saw his mouth closing in on my prick and then felt his warm breath on it. I shuddered a bit, surprised that it would feel this good. As he got so close my prick nearly hit his lips, he opened his mouth.

He turned his head and looked me in the eyes. I nearly cursed at him, thinking he had been lying, that it just a trick. That he had just wanted me to suck him and not do me. Or something. But then he spoke to me.

Remember, don’t let your teeth touch my peter at any time. Keep your lips curled over your teeth like this,” and he showed me how to form my lips into an O over the teeth.

Before I knew what was happening, he quickly turned his head back to my prick and in one motion suddenly had his lips all the way down to his fingers that had never left my shaft. My prick felt like I had just shoved it into an oven, but filled with softness surrounding it. Gasping out loud, releasing all the pent up air I had been holding for nearly a minute, the gasp turned into a long moan at the surprise.

New air sucked in through my mouth in a quick gasp gave my brain enough oxygen to register what was happening down there. Casey didn’t just put my prick into his mouth. He was also sucking in his cheeks, vacuuming it further into his mouth. He released the shaft with his fingers and his lips formed a tight seal around it. Nearly all of my prick was inside his mouth. And while he had gone down on it, his tongue hadn’t been idle either.

He had used it to first lick the underside of my head, then all the way down the shaft. I could still feel it sliding around my prick as he slowly backed off of it and when he only had the head inside his mouth he really put his tongue in overdrive. It nearly felt too good and I had to really focus on keeping my hands behind my head or I would have reached down and moved his head away from my midsection.

Fortunately he didn’t keep that position for long as he began sucking up and down on my prick. Whenever he backed off, I could see his glistening saliva on my shaft. Every time he only had the head in his mouth, he would move his tongue around on it using just the tip of his tongue. I could even feel him trying to push it into my pee slit. During his onslaught I of course wasn’t quiet. That would have been an impossibility for me if he had told me to keep quiet.

He moved his right hand and pushed it in between my thighs gently pushing them aside so in the end I was laying with my thighs wide open and feet touching each other by the soles. Not so gentle he took my nuts in his fingers and begun massaging them. I hissed at the slight pain, but was too far gone in the other sensations from his mouth and tongue to give it much further notice. Changing his attack on my poor prick, he switched to just moving his head up and down.

Increasing his speed, it didn’t take me long to reach nirvana. My prick happily started to pulsate and I could feel the contractions in my nut sack as they tried to pump out what was not yet inside of them. I had to push Casey forcibly off my prick as he hadn’t let up at all and was still going at speed. My prick screamed at me, that it was too much. Like Mr. Scott telling Captain Kirk that she can’t take it anymore. Casey pulled off me.

That was right quick,” he said, although he did look a little exhausted.

Wooohweee, holy fuck that was fucking sweet,” I replied and petted his hair lazily with my right hand.

I told you!” He basked at me.

Yeah you did.”

Let’s have some of the soda now, then you can do me after that.”

I was about ready to just shut my eyes and go to sleep, but I knew I had to return the favor to Casey. And even more so, I wanted to make him feel just as good as he had made me feel. The fizzy drink with its sugar and caffeine quickly pushed away any thoughts of going to bed early. Bed time Fridays and Saturdays was lax, I don’t think my parents ever really knew when I did go to sleep. They had long time before stopped tucking me in at night.

Your turn!” I said excitedly and Casey jumped into the bed and still while in the air turned so he hit the mattress back first. He never ceased to impress me with his moves. I have to remember to tell you about him and the springboards in the public swimming pool.

Please go easy on me, ma’am,” He giggled at me, “I’ve been riding my horse all day long and my old bones are all aching.”

I had to laugh out at that. Sometimes he just says something stupid like that and it cracks both of us up.

I’ll treat your old bones. Or at least one of them,” I nearly couldn’t say, as I was having a giggle fit.

Oh, alright,” was all he said, suddenly dead serious again. He spread his legs on his own, putting them exactly as I had had mine before. His dink wasn’t hard yet though. But I knew it would only take me little time to make it hard.