Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2011 17:30:01 +0000 (GMT) From: Mr. D Subject: What was I thinking, part one This story contains graphic sexual scenes between males. If material of this nature offends you then you should not read this story. Additionally, if you are under 18 years of age in most states you are not allowed to read this story by law. This story is purely a work of fiction. Any resemblance to person's living or dead, or to events that may have occurred, is purely coincidental. The author claims all copyrights to this story and no duplication or publication of this story is allowed, except by the web sites to which it has been posted, without the consent of the author. Dionyssos Dionyssos00@yahoo.no (that is Dionyssos, and `zero-zero' at the end) What was I thinking, part one My name is Frank and I have a strange story to tell. In order to understand what this is all about, I have to start at the beginning and see where this leads... I had always felt a bit different from the rest of the world. Growing up was a painful experience. No matter how much I tried, I never quite fit in with the other boys my age. I was 13 the first time the thought that I might be gay, occurred to me. The more I thought about it, the more I started to notice other men in my surroundings. Girls did not interest me at all. I kept it to my self for many years and built up a lot of sexual frustration. By the time I turned 18, I was still a virgin. I had never worked up the nerve to go to a gay bar or even flirt with another man. By the time I turned 19, I was no longer a virgin and told my parents I was gay. They took it with ease and did not see a problem with it. They told me they had had their discussions on the topic and had concluded that I would get around to telling them in my own time. After this, my life became an easy one. My parents backed me up and so I had the luxury to ignore other people's opinion. As long as I was happy, so was my family, and that was all that mattered. I felt liberated and started to date other men. My father once expressed a slight worry about my attraction to older men. He wanted me to find a boyfriend and be happy, but would be more at ease if my boyfriend was not his age. I didn't think much about it, though. I went for what I liked or what turned me on. That just happened to be men a good deal older than me. As I grew more confident I also made new friends. I had a load of beautiful and intelligent women around me. They were closer to my own age, and I felt at ease around them. When I was 20 I met a woman called Elain. She was 5 years older than me, but we connected on a level I didn't think was possible. I we were never in love, but we got to know each other so well that every body else thought we were a couple. After a rather moist night out, Elaine surprised me with a proposition. "Frank ?" "Yes Elaine?" "I do not want you to freak out, but..." "You do know that just saying `don't freak out', I'm highly likely to do just that" "I know, but I've been thinking and I do not know how to put this..." Then she let fly a cascade of words. She mumbled and blushed. I could not make any sense of it at all. "ELAINE! – stop mumbling and just say what's on your mind. I know you so well by now that there is nothing you can say to me that would actually freak me out" She stopped and fell quiet. She looked me in the eye and said; "Here goes... If I have not found the right man to father me child by the time I turn 30, would you... ehhhh... do me the honour?" "You have caught on to the fact that I'm gay, right?" "I know you are gay Frank. I just can't find a man more decent than you. I do not expect you to marry me or even move in with me. I just want to be a mother, and it seems that the men I meet are all dimwits compared to you" "Well thanks, I think... But it is still 4 years until you turn 30... hmmmm..." I do not really know if it was the fact that I had been drinking, or that I felt sorry for her. Regardless, I made her the promise to father here a child if she had not found the right man by the time she was 30. WHAT WAS I THINKING! Time flew by and I pretty much forgot about my bald promise. Elaine, on the other hand, did not. To make a long story short, I ended up doing my very best to father a child. This was not as bad as I had thought. As more mature men would have known, it often takes more than one try before you actually get a result. During this time I made sure to be single. I spent more time with Elain, and discovered the joys of satisfying a woman. I even came to the conclusion that I was bi-sexual, but more likely to fall in love with a man. I almost felt sad the day I came home from work and found her in the living room with a HUGE grin on her face. I knew right then that she was pregnant, and that my job was done, so to speak. Over the years that passed we kept the secret from the world around us. Nobody knew I was the father. This did not prevent me from getting attached to my child. The first word little John said was, `DAD' I had a hard time keeping my joy to my self. I had put my self in the role of `Uncle' and had to leave the room before I lost my composure. After that day I was `soled'. Elain did not have a man in her life. Nor did I, for that matter. I ended up moving in with Elaine and renting out my own place. It provided a good income on the side. When John was 4 and I had turned 30, Elain got killed by a drunk driver. Suddenly I was all alone with my son, and felt lost and deeply unhappy. Since we were `just friends', Elain's family made claim to her belongings. I took John and moved back to my place. This generated a big fight. Nobody knew I was the father. Rather they knew me as Elain's best friend who was gay. I did not want to give up my son, so I took him to the hospital and took a paternity test. Boy were they surprised to discover that I was the father. The document stated that it was a 99% certainty that I was the father. It did not stop Elain's parents though. They tried to take my son the legal way. The process was ugly, but there was nothing they could do or say, that would make me give up my boy. In the end I won in court and kept John. There was not much left for me now. I wanted to move abroad and start a new life with only John and me. Before John had turned 7, we were gone. My family knew where to find me, but Elain's family was kept in the dark. Mom was complaining that she had given up the possibility that she would become a grand mother. When she found out that this was not the case, I `steal' her grand child and move abroad. Dad and mom both, were sad to se me leave. On the other hand, they knew I was doing what made me, and hopefully John, happy. It was perhaps harder for me, than for John, to actually leave. I left all behind and soled most of my belongings. I kept my apartment and rented it out again. Once again it secured a minimum income and was the reason I could spend some time unemployed to settle down. I found a nice apartment 10 min drive from downtown. My parents had soled me their old car for a symbolic prize. Since I had soled most of my belongings, it did not take long to get settled. I found a job and it turned out I did not have to drive to work. A 15 min walk was the perfect distance. There was a school close by as well, so I could walk John to school every day and make it to work in good time. Time seemed to blow by me. Josh grew and seemed to take all his looks from me. He had light blond hair, blue eyes and a long and slender body. There was no doubt he was my son. Watching him grow up made me feel glad and lonely both. I had spent my time with my son and ignored my own needs. I guess that's a sacrifice many single parents have to make. I my case it worked for a while, but then I started to miss having another adult around me. Since John was borne, I had stayed single. At least I had no men in my life. As I started to look around I found that my need for an older man had been reduced. I found many men my own age that I found attractive. If you ever hear a woman complain she has difficulties finding a man because she is a single mother... believe her! Finding a man as single dad is next to impossible. I was afraid and so I stayed single, with an occasional blow job. I got very familiar with my right hand and felt lonely in my new life. I had little faith in my future, but held on and saw my son grow up. He got friends and spent more and more time with his friends after school. In my desperation I started surfing the internet for porn. I chatted with a few fellows, but when it became clear I had a son, they faded into the background noise of the cyber web. One afternoon changed my life forever. I had a made the working day short. It was John's 14th birthday and I wanted to surprise him when he got home from school. I actually baked a cake and bought him 3 sets of boxers. He was in his puberty and was beginning to take his looks seriously. I guess I just wanted him to be comfortable. I was not so old yet that I had forgotten the constant hard-on's of puberty. As all was set I hit the shower. A long warm shower was always a good way for me to relax my body and wash away my loneliness. I had grown accustomed to playing with myself in the shower, so I spent a long time working the soap into my cock and ass. As my finger penetrated the muscle, my cock went as hard as it got. Just as I felt my balls tingle I thought I heard a noise. Before I could react to it I heard footsteps in the hallway and the apartment door slam shut. Early! John was home from school early, and I was in the shower with an 8 inch erection that would be very hard to hide. John quickly made his way to the bathroom, and jerked the door open. I turned my back to the door just in time. "Ohh! You are home early dad? I'm sorry to burst in on you, but I really need to pee. Do you mind? It took me a few seconds to gather my thoughts. I finally managed to grunt `it's OK' and then got busy rinsing off. John pulled his shorts down to his thighs and I could not keep from looking over my shoulder. I could see him at an angle, his back partly turned towards me. His back side was as white as snow and seemed totally smooth. I saw how his shoulders relaxed as he let go. For some reason watching him pee made my cock go all hard again. The instant he moved I turned my head around and continued my showering. I had to turn the temperature down to cool my erection down. During this cooling time my head was raising. Had I just looked at my own son and got a hard-on? The sight of his bare butt had sent a horny shock through me. WHAT WAS I THINKING! In a little while I managed to make my cock softer and figured I spent long enough in the cold water. As I got out of the shower and reached for my towel, I saw John was still in the room. He was sitting on the toilet and was looking straight at me. There was no shyness in his eyes as he studied my body. When his eyes came to my crouch, it stopped moving and his mouth fell open just a bit. I felt a shock run through my body and then embarrassment replaced the shock. I made haste and covered my half erect cock with the towel. "What are you doing in here John? I thought you left after you were done!" He did not answer me at once and I saw his face turning from white to pink and then ending up a deep dark read. He opened his mouth to speak, but could not make a sound. I realized he was probably much more embarrassed than me. I tied the towel around my waist and squatted down in front of him. "John? Are you OK? I'm sorry if I sounded angry. I was just so surprised to find that you were still in here" He slowly lifted his head and looked at me. "I'm sorry dad... I was just curious what you looked like without any cloths on" His face got, if possible, even redder. I felt really sorry for him. I guess I had never sat down and talked about the changes the puberty would do to his body and mind. "Dave and Steven have much more hair on their bodies. They tease me `cos I'm all smooth. All I got to show fore are a few strands of hair... down there" John made a nodding motion indicating his dick. "They say that their dad's have a lot of hair and that they will look just like them when they grow up. I figured I wanted to see you naked, so I would know what I would look like too. I just didn't know how to go about it. Finding you in the shower provided me with a good opportunity. Are you angry with me?" Then his embarrassment took over and he started to cry. By instinct I put my arms around him and hugged him close. He wrapped his arms around my neck and wept into my damp shoulder. "Don't cry my son. I should have talked more about puberty with you. I came home early to surprise you on your birth day, not to make you embarrassed and make you cry" I started to let go of him, but he tightened his arms around my neck. "Look, I just need to dry off and I'll be out in a second. You think you can wait in the living room for 2 minutes? I promise I'll be there ASAP and we'll have a little chat. OK?" John slowly let go of my neck. I stood up and helped him to his feet. As he stood up he looked at me. His eyes were puffy from crying. I did not see any sadness in his eyes though. They looked more aroused. I ruffled his hair and sent him on his way. "I'll be there in just a sec" He mumbled an `OK' and left the room. I dried my self in a hurry. I did not bother to get fully dressed. I put on a pair of fresh boxers, and threw on a robe. Then I headed out to the living room to start my life's strangest conversation. ---To be continued--- If you have an opinion about the story, good or bad, or have a suggestion for the plot, please let me know at following e-mail. Please use the story's title as subject. Dionyssos00@yahoo.no To all of you, who have sent your opinion, thank you! You have been a great help, and I hope you continue to read my stories and inspire me with your feedback.