Date: Fri, 15 Feb 2002 15:00:32 -0600 From: Jason B. Subject: Compulsion This is how the dictionary defines compulsion: an irresistible impulse to act, regardless of the rationality of the motivation. b. An act or acts performed in response to such an impulse. What I recount here are the shameful acts that I performed in response to such an impulse. My older brother Mike had already been away at school for two weeks when his pain-in-the-ass friends Lex and Chris appeared at my door. It was a Saturday afternoon and my folks were out, as usual, running errands or shopping, or both. These two guys were goofs and I knew they missed my brother, and probably just came around out of habit. Warily, I opened the door. "What's up punk?" asked Lex. "Nuthin'. What are you guys up to?" "Well, seein' it's Saturday, and it's still so fuckin' hot out, we figured we'd go downtown, sneak into the dirty movies, or maybe the bookstore". "Fuck you! You guys could never get in there! You tried before". "And we got IN before, too!" said Chris "I don't think Mike wanted you to know about all our adventures. Anyway, since Mike's not around we thought it'd be a kick to take you down there." "Yeah" Lex said "We wanna see the look on your face when you see this place!" I left a note for my parents. Lex parked the car; he said the dirty bookstore was about two blocks away. We walked fast; I was excited and nervous. My heart pounded as we stopped in front of the place. "Adonis Adult Books & Novelties" read the faded sign. "You guys go around back; Chris you know the door" Lex could easily pass for 21, so he would go in, come around and pop the back door for Chris and I. We waited for what seemed a long time as the hot late afternoon September sun beat in our faces. We milled around a dented sheet-metal door that had been painted flat black. Finally, we heard the door begin to scape open, and when it was open only a foot or so we both scooted in. I was in! I couldn't see a single thing, coming fron the outside into almost total darkness, but I could feel, and enjoyed, the rush of cold air. I stayed pinned to the back wall until I could begin to see. All around doors, most with small red lights glowing above them. To the right a hallway that led, I guessed, to another similar room of these small booths. Lex grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the well-lit doorway on the left. I could see rack after rack full of filthy books. I couldn't actually see any detail, but just the lurid colors told me they were the MOST obscene books I'd ever laid eyes on! Lex pulled me back into the darkness. "Here, dude, I got us some quarters, let's hit the back row and check out some movies." The hallway did lead to a similar though smaller room, four booths on each side, 4 occupied, according to the red bulbs. Idiot Chris was laughing like a hyena as he and Lex entered seperate booths. I pulled at a door with no light lit and found it locked. Someone had entered the front booth area, and was storming towards the back area. The counterman! I heard him speak. "Goddamn kids! I knew I recognized that shit! Goddamn kids are gonna get me shut down! I'm callin' the cops on you punks now!" He was heading toward me and fast, and I had nowhere to hide! I pulled at the nearest door...locked! oh shit, I'm caught. Just as the owner was about to come around the corner, a door opened. A voice from inside the booth whispered, "Hey kid, c'mon in here" I almost dove in. I was more scared than I think I ever was in my life; I would have been panting in fear, but I knew I had to keep quiet. The owner was bangin open every door, looking for us. He found Lex first. "You bastard...even when you are 21, you are never coming in this store again...now get the FUCK out! NOW! I think Chris gave himself up after that. "You too, get out, and don't ever come back! I almost opened the door to give up too, when the man whose booth I was in grabbed my arm "shhhh, I'll get you out; no sense dealin with that asshole". The owner was still going door to door, looking for me. The man positioned me in the corner of the small booth, so when the door was opened, the owner only saw him. When the door closed again, I whispered my thanks to the man, whom I had noticed was a black guy, about 6'4" and 240 or so lbs. He said "It's cool; watch a movie wit me till he goes away, and I'll get you outta here. I started to relax. With the terror over, I realised that I kinda liked it here; the cool darkness, the smell of pine disinfectant blended with a musky sort of aroma I would soon be very familiar with. It felt comfortable here. And then I looked at the screen. A man was standing, receiving a blowjob from...another man! I looked down, and I saw that my black savior had his own dick out, and was jacking off! With me right here! My fear rose again, but I was adrenalined out...my knees started to buckle, all I could do was lean back against the wall to keep from going down. He spoke to me again, soothingly, "It's okay baby, not goin hurt you. This won't take too long. In fact, might be done sooner if you hep' out a little bit" I was still on my feet, but I was fainting. When he took my left hand and wrapped around his dick, I was too weak to stop it. After a little while, I was jacking off another man. I think I was fully conscious, but as I handled a big dick, and watched a movie of a man sucking another man, I was different, somehow. And when the man said,"You wanna try that, baby?", The only reason I can think of why I slid down to my knees is compulsion. I mean, it must have been in me already. I didn't have to take that cock into my mouth like I did! I mean, I felt the shame of it, I knew it was terribly wrong, I even knew that I really didn't WANT to do it. When I began to suck his big dick in earnest, I felt a hidden need inside me being filled. I began to taste the cock now, and it's pre-cum; it made me feel peaceful. The dick was fully hard now, and thick. I was sucking it well, taking more of it down every minute. I noticed the holes cut into each wall, right at cock height, and I knew men were watching me suck dick through each hole. "Baby, you're a natural at suckin' dick, you finna give me a good nut." Another man's cock appeared thru the gloryhole, and I stared at it, while continuing to suck for my man. He noticed my interest. "You wanna more dick baby? We'll get your ass some mo'" I felt a cool rush down my back, and it got a lot brighter in our little booth. While I continued to suck, he began to push me backwards, and I started to slide on the filthy floor...he had opened the door and was putting me out in the middle aisle, on display. It didn't take long til we were surrounded. First the men in the adjoining booths, then others became aware of something happening here. Still the impulse kept me here on my knees, sucking. Soon, I had a cock in each hand, pumping them to hardness. At least a dozen men surrounded us, and I was still the only white. The man in my mouth had 8" buried in me, a cock so thick that it looked short. I knew he would come soon and still I sucked. His breathing became raspy and irregular, he was thrusting now, fast. He pulled the fat cock free of my mouth and spoke "Open your mouth real wide baby; thats it; tilt your head back a little more...tongue out...yeah! I was the show now...he was the director. Our audience watched as he jacked his dick furiously, while his cocksucker waited eagerly to catch sperm. Then it came; a first thick spurt blasting my upper lip before falling heavily onto my tongue. A larger slug, shot straight to the back of my throat, causing me to choke, briefly. Another shot across my tongue, then another, and still one more. All of the same consistency: extra thick. His big dick just oozed now, so he wiped it over my lips. I closed my mouth around the huge load. An impulse with no rational motivation. I tasted the semen...it was awful, sour and bleachy tasting. I wanted to lean forward and let that filthy mess fall from my mouth; instead, I leaned back and ate the load, slowly. As he walked away, I took another black man's cock into my mouth and began to suck. He smiled and waved as he rounded the corner. I wondered how I was going to suck all of these men off without the owner showing up back here again to throw me out. At least a dozen cocks were out being jacked, and soon a second man put a long dick to my lips. I wasn't sure how to suck two cocks at once, but I'd learn. I alternated at first, and then gave more attention to one erect penis, then the other. Surpringly, I brought both of them to orgasm at nearly the same time. They aimed their cocks at my wide open mouth and let fly. The long dicked man gave me far more seed than the other man, but between them they managed to fill my mouth. The taste this time was less offensive, but I almost wished for a worse taste. I felt nastier and happier eating a big thick nasty tasting load of cum. Anyway, there was much more coming, and some of that was bound to be vile tasting! I sucked and swallowed my way through more black dicks when I realized that I was becoming full! Full of men's sperm! The nastier the things I was doing became, the more I liked it. It wasn't that I didn't feel shame, I did, intensely; but I reveled in it. The attention these black men paid me was as satisfying as a mouthful of sperm. And there was more of that coming my way! I heard one of the men who had been there from the beginning explaining me to one of several new arrivals. "So, this kid comes out of the booth, on his fuckin' knees suckin' a motherfuckers dick the whole time. Motherfucker tells the kid,"open wide" which the kid does, catches a big ol' wad of jizz, and eats it, so eveybody can see! So now he's just suckin every dick and drinkin all that shit from every motherfucker who comes in here...I guess till nobody else comes in here" "How many he do so far?" "He's somewhere around fifteen or sixteen now" "And he eat all that cum?" "Motherfucker must love that shit!" I hated every gob of it, but I knew I would always eat every load I was ever given. That was what was at the very center of my compulsion. The seed of my compulsion. The impulse with an irrational motivation that controlled me. I was surely a compulsive cock-sucker; but even more, a compulsive semen eater. I had spent four hours in the back room when the owner finally appeared again. I knew he was aware of my presence from the beginning, but he let me do my big show. "There's that other fuckin' kid! Shit! you ain't nowhere near old enough to be in here! What the fuck you doin? Botherin' my customers? Let's get your ass out of here NOW!" He grabbed me and pulled me to the front of the store, and stopped. "Your kind I don't mind; you're good for business. Too bad you picked a slow time of day. If you want to have some fun here, come back next Friday night, bout nine-o-clock. I'll put out the word about you, and you'll be busy ALL night. You gonna do it?" "Yes. I'll be here" But I knew I wouldn't be able to wait that long.