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"I HATE ANTHONY"
By Madison Aysha Dante
CHAPTER TWELVE: THE THINGS WE SAY
She knew she was gorgeous. Her body was thick in all the right places and a flawless face accentuated with morning's gray eyes. She possessed this ability to captivate almost any man she wanted to. With her seductive voice and overtly sexual manner she had the label of a whore and she knew it, but what people said about her didn't matter to her. She was as loose as a whore's wet pussy on pay day, but she used sex as a tool to move up in life. Where she was from if you weren't smart, knew how to bust a mean free style rap or played basket-ball, then you most likely would never leave the ghettos that she called home. She wasn't smart, she couldn't play ball and she sure as hell wouldn't be the next Eminem, but she was beautiful. She learned from the way men fell at her mother's feet that when your pretty, they would do and give you almost anything. What's a quick fuck in someone's dirty hallway for a new three-hundred dollar coat? It was because of her mother's over sexed vamped up looks that they were living in a four bedroom condo and driving around in a Lexus. Never mind the fact that they had to keep it locked away in the garage if they weren't in it and forget that their neighborhood had a murder rate of 2 percent; they were living the high life. She learned from her mother that the key to making it in life relied on a man because men took care of their women. This was the same woman who encouraged her sixteen year old daughter to dress like she was twenty. They would even smoke weed and drink together. They were more like friends than mother and daughter because a real mother wouldn't try to convince her child to have sex with their next door neighbor/ drug dealer, so they could get weed for free. Yeah, Brianna learned from the best.
She looked at Carlos's face, cheeks rosy from the cold and face a mask of calmness, but she saw right through it. Carlos was scared of something and that something would be the reason why Anthony was hugging Brian. Brian was suppose to be their enemy. She had seen on more then one occasion Brian getting picked on by both Carlos and Anthony, so she understood just why Carlos was confused. She had her own thoughts on the subject matter. She remembered that night when she had her little "incident" with Anthony. She remembered how she slow grinded on his lap while the girls looked at her with disgust and the boys with envy. Yeah, she remembered that night well. She was on a mission to get Anthony and it would have worked too, but something got in the way. Right at the peak of climax, she heard Anthony mumble out Brian's name. She tried to tell herself that he had said her name, but the more she thought about it, the more she knew that it wasn't the truth.
For a while she was disgusted by Anthony's lack of self control, really it was sickening how even in a room full of people watching he couldn't stop himself from mumbling out Brian, another boy's name, in the heat of the moment. Once her disgust left her she realized that she could use that to her advantage. But, she needed help in the form of information. She thought that she would have been able to get that from Regina, but that bitch wasn't even trying to here her out. She didn't blame her, hell, the two of them never got along. Regina hated her because before Regina started dating Jackson, Brianna had given him head at a party. She was drunk and fucked up off the weed and it didn't mean anything to her or Jackson, but Regina on the other hand couldn't stand the thought of her man being with anyone else other than her. Brianna thought Regina was weak and wasn't even on the same level as her, so she didn't pay her any mind. But, she thought that with a little sweet talking she could get some information about Brian out of her. Brianna needed to find out as much as she could about him, that way she could use that to her advantage and get Anthony. The only thing was that fat bitch Regina saw right through her act and wasn't even trying to give up so much as his favorite food. But, Brianna couldn't give up. No, she had to find some way to get something to work over Anthony with, that way she could get what she wanted.
Anthony had promise...so much fucking promise. He wasn't the best basketball player, but there was something about him that let you know that he was going to go places in life. Places that Brianna knew she would have a hard time getting to without a little help. Yeah, maybe it was his cocky attitude or the arrogant swagger of his walk, but whatever it was Brianna wanted to make sure that she was near it. Yeah, Anthony was like sex on legs. Tall, dark and hot as shit, but she could use him for more than a new pocket-book and a good time. No, she was tired of settling for chump change in her pocket and a few quick fucks in random cars. It was time for her to start thinking for the long run of things. Where she was from you had to plan ahead to get ahead and Anthony was on his way up and if Brianna could have things her way, she would be right there along side of him for the ride. Whether Anthony wanted her there or not was no concern of hers. Whatever she wanted, she was going to get it. She smiled at Carlos as she let them into her house and he rolled his eyes in return.
"Aight girl. What the fuck did you mean?" He asked not even bothering to take off his coat.
"Sit down Papi. Chill for a minute. Don't you want to kick it?" Regina asked batting her eye lashes. She could care less about what Carlos wanted to know. All she was working with were hunches, but she needed answers. It was grilling time and if need be, she would do whatever she had to do to get the information she wanted. She was smarter than she looked.
"Kick it? Aight..." Carlos replied.
"You smoking?" She asked him as she went into her bedroom and brought out a shoe box where she kept her stash of marijuana.
"Girl, you know I can't smoke too much. I just lit up a few days ago and I gotta keep my game sharp." He replied. Because of basketball, he was prohibited from doing drugs or drinking, but that didn't stop him. He just did everything in moderation. Brianna was disappointed. She needed to get Carlos relaxed enough around her to open up and she only knew two ways to relax him. One way was to get him high and the other was to fuck him and although she didn't mind doing either, it was easier to just smoke.
"Come on Papi. I don't want to smoke alone." She whispered as she sat down closely next to him on her couch. She started to unzip Carlos coat and gave him a shy smile that they both knew was her way of being seductive. It worked and as Carlos unzipped his heavy coat and brought the blunt to his lips, he had no clue that he was about to be played for the sucker that Brianna knew he was. Men were fools in her eyes, but it was their foolishness that would lead her to prosperity. Her mother was a smart woman and taught her well.
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"Ew...you stink!" Brian stated as he and Anthony walked into his apartment.
"I just got outta practice, what you want a nigga to smell like sugar and shit!" Anthony stated sarcastically and Brian smiled.
"So, what do--" Brian started to say, but was cut-off with the feeling of Anthony's lips covering his. This was like magic to him and he felt like that was the way things were suppose to be. Anthony, there with him, kissing him. Yeah, it was perfect and they both knew it. The question was how long would it last?
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She looked at Jackson, face all smiles and no sign of any pain and she knew that was about to change. Regina was never the one to bull shit and delay things which was why she couldn't understand why she couldn't find the courage to just end things with him. It was just the two of them in his basement. His mother was upstairs talking loudly on the phone and Regina smiled because Jacky's mother reminded her of a skinny Italian version of herself. Jackson's mother had no daughters, so she sort of took to Regina as if she were her own child and Regina loved that. Her mother wasn't in the picture, so Mrs. Williams was the only female she had to look up to. Maybe that was part of the reason why she was putting it off. Jackson's family had become like family to her. Hell, her own family wasn't all that close, so in a sense, Jackson's family...was her family too. But, she had to get this done because each day spent pretending that she was still in love, was another day spent wasted by lies.
"Hey babe! We didn't have any cherry left, so I got you grape." Jackson said as he handed her a soda before taking a seat on the couch across the room from her. It was little things like that which he did that let her know that he could feel the distance between the two of them too. She wasn't crazy, they both knew what was going and because they both could feel the distance.
"Thanks...we gotta talk honey." She replied and felt guilty at the innocent look on his face. He had no clue what she was about to say and that look was only making things that much harder.
"Sure baby, let me turn the game on." He replied as he turned the TV on, but Regina got up and turned it back off.
"Listen, this is important..."
"Uh...okay, what's wrong? Your not pregnant are you!" He laughed and she smiled. They rarely, if ever, had sex, so the thought of her being pregnant was something that they both knew was far-fetched. The laughter died down and the room grew tense with the silence. Her stomach was tightening with knots, but this had to be done because this routine of pretending was making her feel weary.
"We should break-up." She whispered and turned her gaze from him and to the blank screen of the television. Jackson didn't respond. He just stared at her with unblinking and unbelieving eyes frozen in confusion and face caught off guard.
"Wait! What? Break-up...why?" He asked obviously confused which only added to Regina's pain.
"Because...we're not in love..."
"Wait? Your not in love with me anymore?" He asked and there was no mistaking the pain in his voice. Jackson was confused about a lot of things. He was still trying to deal with his feelings for Brian and was starting to come to the realization that Brian wasn't the only boy he was attracted to. No, in the beginning he thought that it was just because he felt close to him and that his feelings of attraction were only manifested from their close friendship. Yeah, he knew that was all bull-shit, but it took him a little while to figure that out. But, Regina helped him with his confusion. Being with her made him feel like less than a freak, but he wasn't in love with her either. It was just he wasn't expecting her to be the one to say those words first.
"I'm sorry baby...but I'm not and I know your not either." She replied in her tough girl slang. She wasn't trying to be mean, but she had to state the facts clearly, so there was no room for misunderstanding later. She sat down next to him and he glared at her before sucking his teeth and standing up.
"You tripping girl! I fucking love you! Why you gotta start some shit like this?"
"Come on, don't do me like that Jacky. We been together for too long for you to do me like this!"
"How am I doing you?" He yelled. That was a bad move because when she felt threatened, she lashed out and her anger was hard to control.
"You know what you doing Nigga, don't play stupid!" She yelled as she jumped up and got into his face. She was almost a foot shorter than him, but Regina backed down from no one; girl nor boy.
"I ain't doing nothing! We just chilling and shit one minute and then you hit me wit dis lets break-up shit! How da fuck you want me to act?" Jackson asked as he backed away from her. He was all too aware of how her anger could get the best of her and he didn't want things to escalate any more than they already had.
"Yeah, but you standing here playing stupid and shit like you didn't know this was coming! Don't pretend like you still feel the same way about me like you did when we first got together because I know that's a fucking lie!"
"How you gonna tell me how da fuck I feel? Huh?" He yelled back and so the fighting continued. She was enraged. Her face started to change into the same shade as her deep red hair color.
"Because I can, that's why!"
"Oh you can...right? Then tell me why I don't love you if you know so fucking much! Tell me then!" He yelled and she didn't have any way of responding to that so she rolled her eyes, grabbed her coat and went toward the steps. Before going up them she turned around and was prepared to leave with one final insult. She had learned at a young age that it was always better to hurt than get hurt. But, when she saw the pain in Jackson's eyes that he tried to hide with anger, all her anger disappeared and she was left with guilt.
"I'm sorry babe...but...I gotta go." She stated and with that she was up the stairs and out the door. Jackson sat down on the couch, stomach twisting and turning and feeling pain that he didn't even know existed. Regina was right when she said the he wasn't in love with her anymore, but the question he was asking himself was why was he hurting so bad? He needed to talk to someone...Brian. He needed to talk to him, so when he called his house and the phone line was busy he decided to just walk the seven blocks over to his house. Cold winter weather be damned.
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"Yo! Dis some good shit girl! What is it Chronic or something?" Carlos asked as he took another puff from the third joint that he and Brianna were sharing. She just rolled her eyes in annoyance. Her plan was to get Carlos high as hell and then start asking the questions that were on her mind about Anthony and more importantly Brian. But, Carlos wasn't talking. No, all he wanted to do was fucking smoke his blunts and rant about why Anthony would be hugging, as he put it, that little faggot, out in the middle of the God damn streets like he didn't have any sense in his mutha fucking head.
"Naw, it's Haze. So...why do you think Brian's a faggot?" She asked as she let the weed smoke inhale into her lungs and blow peacefully in a white cloud out of her nose.
"Man...dat nigga just is! I don't know why, but that nigga just fucking gay ass hell! I can't stand that mutha fucker!" He yelled. The weed wasn't helping him control his emotions and he grew angrier and angrier with each word he spoke.
"If he's a faggot then why would Anthony be wit him?" She asked trying to fain innocence, but she knew what she was doing. She was trying to play with Carlos's mind for her benefit.
"I don't know man...I gotta talk to him." He replied and made a move to put on his coat.
"Wait! Where you going?"
"I told you, I gotta talk to Ant and find out why da fuck he was hugging all up on dat faggot ass nigga!" He walked towards the door and it was evident that she couldn't say anything to make him stay. No, she couldn't say anything, but she could do something. She rolled her eyes and put her hand on his shoulder to stop him. He looked at her with half confusion and half annoyance.
"Don't go...stay for a little while." She purred, but Carlos was too focused on finding Anthony to pick up on her less that subtle advances.
"Naw, we can smoke tomorrow or something. I need to talk to Ant." He replied and when he put his hand on the door to leave, she put hers on top of his and then he got a clue. She smiled and licked her lips.
"You sure you can't stay? I just want to chill for a little while longer." She smirked and for a second Carlos forgot about talking to Anthony. No, Brianna was right in front of him...licking her lips...lips that were full and soft...lips that would feel good as hell wrapped around his-
"Aight! Lets chill then." He smirked back and they sat back down on the couch. He started kissing her softly, but she had no time for romance. No, so she pulled away and went straight for the money spot. She unzipped his pants and lowered her head to his lap and as Carlos's right hand entangled itself up in her long, dark, wavy hair pushing her head lower and lower until her mouth had to open and the only place that her tongue could rest was on the tip of his dick. She licked slowly upwards and almost laughed with the squeaky moan the erupted from his mouth. Men were predictable, but boys were obvious. She moved her head faster as to hurry things up because once she was finished Carlos would open up easier. It was her mother that taught her they saying of `a trick for a trade'.
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Sex with Anthony just got better and better the more they did it. Maybe it was because before him, Brian was a complete virgin to everything except his left hand and his right when he was feeling freaky. They lay together, partially clothed, in Brian's bed with the radio volume turned on low. Some half bit R & B female singer was attempting to do a ballad and Brian thanked God that the strong violin and drum beats were drowning out the deaf tone of her voice. His head lay rested on Anthony's chest and he listened to the beats of his heart. It was soothing in an almost hypnotic way.
"This is nice..." Anthony mumbled, sleep heavy in his voice. Brian wanted to tell him that maybe he should get home, but he saw no use. His mother was doing another double shift and Anthony's mother was never one to coddle her son, so Brian didn't see the harm in letting him fall asleep.
"Yeah, it is...do you wanna---" Brian started to say, but decided that now was not the time to bring up the fact that technically Anthony still hadn't broken up with Lucia. That fact didn't bother Brian...well, not much anyway. Besides Anthony's eyes were closed and Brian didn't see the need in waking him. No, he pulled the covers over the two of them and leaned into his arms and closed his own eyes.
His eyes flew open only to be greeted with the deep black of his room. For a second he was afraid because he didn't realize where he was at first and the feeling of a large body next to him threw him off balance for a minute. He glanced over at his alarm clock and saw that it was only a little bit before six p.m. Brian stood up and he shivered as his bare feet hit the cold wood of the floors. He stretched and yawned before reaching down and pulling on his sweat pants. Then, a knock thundering on his door in the living room could he heard and Brian knew that was what probably had woken him up. He turned on his bedroom light and laughed as he saw Anthony throw his arms up over his eyes and moan out in annoyance.
"Ay, man hit tha light off!" He yelled and turned over on his stomach. The smooth olive tone skin of his back exposed as Brian's black comforter wrapped around his lower body. Brian sighed as he took in the sight. Out of all the ways and all the things that could have happened to him, looking at Anthony in the state he was in was not one that he expected. He walked over to him and hunched down close to his ear.
"There's somebody at the door. Stay in here okay?" Brian whispered and Anthony groaned incoherently and mumbled something about turning the light off.
The pounding at the door grew louder and louder and Brian had to yell out that he was coming. Brian was surprised to find Jackson standing there, clothes disarrayed and out of breath, but it wasn't the first time he just showed up unannounced. Brian had to remember to put the phone back on the hook the next time he and Anthony were finished having fun. Before he could even ask him what happened Jackson was already telling him.
"Yo! She fucking dumped me!" He yelled and Brian stared at him with confusion. He had the door half-way opened and Jackson was trying to push his way inside, but when Brian wasn't moving to let him in, he looked at him curiously.
"Wait? Regina broke up with you?"
"Yeah, let me in. I need to talk to you." Jacky replied, but Brian made no move to open the door. He was torn. Anthony was sleeping no more than thirty feet away in his bedroom and if Jacky found him in there...oh, that wouldn't be good at all.
"Can you come back later?" He asked and felt a tight knot burn his stomach with the hurt look that was on Jacky's face.
"I really need to talk to you. Come on...man, let me in!" He pleaded and Brian couldn't find it in himself to turn him away. No, Brian's best and worst characteristic was his loyalty to those he loved. He glanced towards his closed bedroom door and then back to Jacky before unlatching the chain.
"Okay, tell me what happened." Jackson brushed passed Brian and sat on the couch. He buried his head in his hands and for a second Brian thought he might cry.
"She just came over and started spitting some shit about not being in love and then she fucking dumped me! Fuck...she said that I wasn't in love with her..." Brian sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry man...that's fucked up."
"Yeah...that fucking bitch! How she gonna say dat shit yo? Talking bout I don't fucking love her like I used to!"
"Do you?" Brian asked and Jacky shook his head in disbelief. He was already pissed off from what had just happened with Regina and Brian wasn't helping matters by questioning his feelings too. He didn't need that shit. No, he wanted Brian to tell him that he was better off without her and that she was wrong because if she was wrong then that would mean that there was nothing wrong with him. His thoughts were fragmented, but one clear thought in his mind was that if he didn't love her, then something was wrong with him. Regina was beautiful, smart and everything that a girlfriend should be, but if he wasn't able to be in love with her, than that meant the problem was with him...he had something wrong with him and all he wanted was to be normal...feel normal.
"Fuck! Don't you start in on that shit too!" He yelled and Brian withdrew his hand in surprise.
"Whoa, calm down man. I'm just saying that maybe she's right!"
"Right about what? That I'm some fucking weirdo who can't love her, well fuck you!"
"Ay, would you calm the fuck down man. I know your pissed and shit, but don't take that shit out on me!" Brian yelled as he jumped up off the couch. Normally, he was the passive type, but he felt that around his friends he didn't need to be like that. If he felt disrespected by them, then he would let them know because friends weren't suppose to make you feel like that.
"I ain't taking shit out on you! You know all this shit is your fucking fault!" Jackson yelled as he stood up and eyed down Brian.
"My fault? Okay, I'll take that. Just how is this my fault?" Jackson looked down at him with the fires of anger burning out of his eyes. But, the fire cooled down and Brian could see the hurt...pain...confusion that was in his eyes. Brian knew he was in trouble.
"It just...because...fuck!" Jacky yelled and before Brian knew it, Jackson was kissing him. It was like the first time, but better. He didn't mean to kiss him back, he was just caught off guard, so when he heard his bedroom door creep open and footsteps follow, he jumped back and turned to look at a red faced Anthony glaring at him and Jacky.
"Yo! What the fuck is you doing?" Anthony yelled and Jacky looked like a deer caught in headlights.
"Ah...um...wait? What are you doing here?" Jackson asked as he looked Anthony up from head to toe. All he was dressed in was black boxers and a white wife beater and it was obvious from his messy hair that he hadn't been doing homework in the back bedroom. Jackson looked at Anthony, then back to Brian who was only wearing loose sweat pants and things started to click. Brian could see confusion on Jackson's face and slight fear on Anthony's with a hint of anger.
"Jackson...I gotta talk to you." Brian stated and Anthony cut in.
"Hell no the fuck you ain't! Why da fuck was you kissing him for?" Anthony yelled as he stared at him. It took all of his self control not to follow his first instinct and kick the shit out of Jackson.
"Naw, what da hell you doing over here nigga! Where da fuck is ya clothes and shit?" Jackson yelled back and Anthony's face turned redder.
"Listen...shit...fuck Jackson I gotta talk to you." Brian replied and Anthony started to say something, but Brian silenced him with an exasperated look. Jackson frowned at him and didn't say anything. No, he grabbed his coat and walked out the door without saying a word. Brian looked at Anthony and they both knew they were in trouble...
To be continued....
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