Ninety Seconds

Disclaimer: the following story is completely fictional. It describes sexual acts between boys so if you don't like that sort of thing, don't read it! However if you do, I appreciate feedback.

He was there again, waiting. It was stupid, but he kind of made me nervous. He was just waiting to take my seat for the next class. Still he was in 9th grade whereas I was only in 7th. I had never really been bullied, but this seemed like one of those situations where it should come up, if TV was anything to go by. Still he hadn't said a word, but I could feel his eyes on me. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be? Changing classrooms was still new to me.

When I finished writing my last note, I decided to play it safe. Tucking my notebook into my backpack I smiled sheepishly and said, "Sorry for keeping you waiting."

The blond teen shrugged. "It's all right. You're cute to look at anyway."

I had already swung my backpack over my shoulder and was ambling down the aisle when I heard those words. I turned to look back in shock at the older boy. Unfortunately, I hadn't stopped walking forward and clipped a desk. Quickly straightening it I glanced back. The odd chap was smiling.

'Jerk' I thought before hurrying to my final class of the day.

Sitting in a history class a few minutes later I started thinking about what he had said. "You're cute to look at anyway." That was a weird thing for one guy to say to another? He had to be teasing me. I tried to concentrate on the lesson but it was pretty boring. When you watch the History Channel a lot, you rarely learn anything new in a history class...

After school, I was always the first one off the bus. I sat right behind the driver sharing the seat with a girl who devoted her life to homework. Her name was Shauna or Sarah. As usual, she didn't say a word to me so I didn't say a word to her even when I got off the bus a few minutes later.

Thursday meant my mom was working and my brother attended wrestling practice. I had the house to myself for two hours. Grabbing a pudding from the fridge, I caught a reflection of myself in the kitchen window. It made me smile. The guy had to have been joking. No one could describe me as cute?

First I was short - thanks to Osteogenesis imperfecta. Because of this, people thought my cousin was the older one which would've been embarrassing if I wasn't so used to it. My second major flaw was that I wore wireframe glasses. Beyond that, I wouldn't stand out amidst a group of nine-year-olds. Skin color wise I took a little more after my dad's dark black then my mom's lighter brown. I don't think that helped or hurt my looks.

Retreating to the couch, I flipped through the recorded shows before selecting a guilty pleasure of mine. It was a stupid game show that I would never watch if anyone was around. I liked it because the contestants were sometimes my age and they had to wear these snug silver suits. They really didn't show anything but I pretended the contestants weren't wearing anything underneath them. It was enough to get me hard and my hand could do the rest.

Friday was much like Thursday. I usually didn't watch the clock, but in my English class, that's exactly what I was doing. Belatedly, I realized that I was looking forward to seeing 'him' again. I've known my sexual orientation for a while, but I had never met anyone who had bluntly expressed it that way.

When the class ended I didn't have any notes to finish writing down so I just packed up slowly trying very hard not to look like I was lingering. By the time the last kid left the classroom the teen slipped in just as I was swinging my backpack over my shoulder. We passed each other going down different aisles and I said, "No waiting today."

"Nice."

I was just about to kick myself for my smooth operating when he said, "Hey!"

I stopped and looked over my shoulder, suddenly scared. "Yeah?"

He smiled the same as yesterday. "I was only kidding. I'm a slow note taker too so don't rush off if you have to finish something. I'm not weird."

"Okay," I didn't correct him by saying I wasn't a slow note taker, I was just thorough. "The lecture finished a little early so I didn't have anything to write down."

"Mr. Douglas finished a lecture early?" he sounded genuinely surprised. "He must be getting winded in his old age."

I laughed. Mr. Douglas is one of those teachers who thought his subject was the most important one. "Yeah, I guess." I waited for another few seconds hoping he would say something, but it just grew awkward. So I said goodbye and he said goodbye. Maybe he wasn't a jerk after all?

That night I asked my brother where he had put his last year's yearbook.

"Why do you want it?" He gave me a weird look and I realized I hadn't come up with a cover story.

"Clubs." It was the first thing that came to my mind. "I was thinking about joining one."

That caused him to look away from the PC game he was playing. I wasn't a very social person. I had friends, but they were school friends. We rarely met outside of school. "You might like the Gamers Club. I can't think of any others that might interest you."

"Still, can I look through it?"

He shrugged. "Mom keeps all that stuff, ask her."

My mom was like me, in that we had the same ailment, though different versions. She was in her room folding the laundry. I came in on the side she doesn't hear too well, so I circled in front of her. I gave her the same story and then started to feel guilty. Both of my parents thought I should get out more and I didn't want to give them false hope of that happening. I liked the way I was.

She had a plastic bin in the closet that contained some of our school stuff. I always wondered where that stuff went! I took the last two years of my brother's yearbooks and retreated to my room saying I would put them back when I was done. My brother was in the 11th grade this year which meant he had been in the 10th in the last year's book.

The guy who called me cute would be in the 8th grade so I flipped to the class lineup. It covered two pages. I thought I would recognize his face, but first I overlooked it before doing a double take. When I saw him earlier, he had shaggy hair, but last year he had been doing that spiked thing that probably required a gob of hair gel every day. I looked across to see his name, Brian McDonald.

That was a little weird. My last name started with a T but we shared the same seat? I guessed not every teacher did the seating chart in alphabetical order. I studied him a little while longer but I don't know why. Was I just looking for something that seemed gay? If so I didn't find it. He wasn't bad looking though. If we were in the same class I would be looking at him from the corner of my eye. Going through the other yearbook, I looked up the 7th grade. He had the same spiked hair, wonder why he changed it?

I started to wonder what that spiked hair might feel like. I imagined patting him on the head, feeling the stiff hairs. Then my imagination took over. I imagined myself sitting on the floor naked leaning against my bed with my legs spread and Brian's head between them. I imagined his mouth going up and down on my erection with that spiky hair brushing up against my stomach. By now, I was stroking myself through my loose shorts. I kept that image of Brian's spiked hair and bobbing head trying to imagine what it would really feel like. I changed the fantasy as my orgasm approached. I imagined being picked up and then impaled on Brian's hard dick. This was what pushed me over the edge as relief washed over me.

Coming down from my orgasm I felt a little guilty. I had made a little mess in my pants and I still had both of my brother's yearbooks out in front of me. My penis didn't make a lot of stuff, but it was enough to be noticed. Standing up I switched into a pair of fresh boxers.

Both of my parents were computer savvy and I never had been able to get around the parental locks. Actually, I don't think I really had the guts to look up gay porn. Literature was something a little different.

There was a website I had been visiting since I was young that allowed people to post stories. Surprisingly, there was a lot of gay stuff or Yaoi. It was where I got most of my ideas about sex. Not sure how accurate those stories were however. Frequently, the guy who was being penetrated resembled a girl. I could identify with a lot of the characters but a girl was not one of them. I liked being a boy. When I started reading stories, they worried me a little but then I found out they were mostly written by teenage girls which was just weird! Still it was all I had.

Absentmindedly I flipped through the rest of the yearbook, thinking I should look up those clubs just to be sure. There were all the ones I had expected to be there, Wrestling which my brother was in, Football, Baseball, Soccer and Girls Volleyball. There was the Honor Society which I had heard of, but didn't understand what they did. The Eco-Society sounded like a lot of glorified garbage picking up and as for the Newspaper, I hadn't even been aware of its existence. The Outdoors Club held no interest for me and neither did Computer Club. The last club piqued my interest for two reasons. It was the Gamers Club which my brother told me about. The photo had only about a dozen kids in it, one of which was Brian.

I could join the club and get to know him that way. Maybe. I closed the books and put them on the desk in my room. I was scared. Yeah, he had called me cute, but he also said he was joking not to mention the idea of joining a club wasn't appealing. Still.

My brother didn't know much about the Gamers Club other than that they played video games. It wasn't until Sunday that I remembered my school had a website, unfortunately when I looked it up I found it didn't have any information on that club. It wasn't even listed. When Monday morning rolled around I asked my friends if they were thinking of joining any clubs and just got the answers I was expecting. Two of them were going to go to the next open mats to try out wrestling while Martin reminded me that he had already joined the band on his parent's insistence.

During lunch I checked the boards that held announcements. There were sign-ups for most of the clubs but the Gamers Club was not among them. Gathering up my courage I decided to ask Brian about it, but he never showed up. I lingered as long as I dared, but had to run off to my next class. The next day was a repeat. Wednesday, he slipped in right after the first bell and I was still taking notes.

"You're back," I commented once he settled in his usual spot.

"Yeah, I had some sort of flu or something. Ruined my weekend and now I'm getting back work from every class. It's such a pain."

"Well you have to do it." I winced as soon as I said the words. I'm such a dork. Brian made a sound of disagreement and I scurried out of there before I said anything. It wasn't until History class that I realized I hadn't asked about the club. Yeah, I'm king of the dorks.

The next day was hot even in the morning. I was going to run away as soon as the bell rang, but Brian walked in before I could reach the door and we both stopped and stared at each other. He was wearing shorts. Suddenly I wanted to run my fingers up his smooth legs feeling his well defined calf muscles.

"Nice sandals."

The words snapped me out of my increasingly perverted private world. "What?"

"Your sandals, they look good on you. They are called sandals right?"

Looking down I saw my toes sticking out from my sandals. "Yeah."

"They look good on you."

I didn't know what to say to that so just muttered something.

"You're in a rush today," Brian said.

"Yeah." I tried to add something, but my brain was freezing although another part of my body wasn't having a similar problem. At least I had the forethought to lean forward a little and was thankful for wearing a long shirt.

"Okay."

He stepped aside and I ran for it. Stepping through the doorway I spared a glance back and saw Brian was still looking at me.

I had no idea what was going on in the next class. My thoughts kept circling around the fact that Brian liked my sandals and had commented on them. Straight boys only did that for girls, right? I really didn't know. Also, why had he been looking at me? Did he really think I was cute like he had said? Was it the bad type of cute? The one that my mother's friends called me or the type of cute that made him think of me? Was he masturbating to the thought of me? Then the teacher called on me and I apologized for not paying attention. That was embarrassing and I tried to pay attention to the rest of the lecture which I probably could've delivered better myself.

My dad was in rare form later that night. Ranting on some stupid decision Washington had made or was threatening to make. I don't like politics probably because since I was old enough to understand my dad insisted they were all scum sucking bottom feeding opportunists who only cared about their own self advancement. My dad proudly boasted that he had not voted since he was eighteen saying there wasn't a candidate worth it. Why he was still surprised at how low they could sink is beyond me.

I excused myself to take a shower. My brother took one every day before school; I wasn't in the habit yet. The bathroom was designed so the sinks were in one area and the toilet and shower were in another. The shower head had one glass door and one was a mirror. After stripping off my clothes I found myself standing in front of it. I tried to look at myself as if I had never seen me before. Was I really attractive?

No, I decided. It wasn't just that I was short although now that I thought about it he had to be at least a foot taller than me. I wasn't really scrawny and I wasn't really fat. I had a little bit of a belly, but it was only really noticeable when I stood to show off my profile. I tried to look at my butt, but couldn't decide if it was a bubble butt or not. I never quite understood that even though I had read it a couple of times. Brian couldn't be thinking like that even if he was like me. So was he just teasing me?

What I wanted and what I thought were two different things. There was so much on my mind that I didn't even jerk off in the shower although it was the best time for it. By the time I had worked the problem around so many times that my head hurt. I had decided I needed more information and that meant joining the club. I needed more interaction with him. Going to sleep that night I realized I was attacking this problem like it was a scientific theory. Needing evidence to draw conclusions and not simply following my heart like in those stories. Maybe that was how most people did things and I was just a geek?

Friday turned out to be a day of contradictions. Leading up to English, time seemed to simultaneously fly by and crawled by. I wanted it to arrive and I didn't want it to arrive. Even one of my friends asked if I was okay at lunch.

English class was the worst. I hated the book we were supposed to be reading and looking at sentence structure was just boring. It was more than the usual effort to take notes and pay attention, but I tried to distract myself with it. Then the bell rang and it was time. Staying at my desk I waited for him to take his usual spot and asked, "Do you know about the Gamers Club?"

There was a moment of silence and I wonder if maybe I had only said the words in my head when he answered. "Where did you hear about the Gamers Club?"

"My brother told me about it. Well he told me it existed and that I should look into it. You're the only other older kid I know." The last sentence I regretted instantly. I made it sound like we were friends instead of just two random students who shared the same seat.

"Yeah, well it got disbanded last year so it doesn't exist anymore."

That took a few seconds to sink in and one it did I said, "Oh." I didn't know what to say. So I just got my stuff ready when he called out.

"Some of us still get together at my house. You can come, if you want."

I bit my lip hesitating. The room was starting to fill up so I turned to him. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Brian pursed his lips. "What's your next class?"

"History with Mrs. Bertram."

"I had her. Listen I'll meet you outside of the classroom and we can talk then okay."

I nodded; not trusting myself to speak before running off to my next class. We had a substitute teacher who just told us to get reading on our homework. I must've stared at the same page for the entire class not seeing a word. Running fingers through my shortly cropped hair I wondered for the first time if that made me look good or not. My mom had always made that decision. I probably should keep letting her since I had no idea what would make me look good or not. Well, besides sandals. At least Brian like those on me.

The bell rang ending another week of school. Standing in front of the classroom I felt like my stomach was doing somersaults. Then I saw him weaving through the crowd of mostly smaller students. Yeah, he was definitely more than a foot taller than me.

"Hey," he smiled showing off white teeth and held out his hand. "Here's my number. Give me a call when you got the time." Looking down I saw the paper and automatically took it and he was gone before I could say thank you.

I thumbed that piece of paper all the way home. It was a safe assumption that Brian had a longer bus ride home then me, so I waited a little longer and then a little more. Calling people was not something I liked to do. The fear that I would dial wrong or that someone else other than who I was trying to reach would pick up was enough to make me nervous. Taking a piece of paper out of my pocket again I stared at it. Seven digits, not that long and I had a perfectly legitimate reason for calling.

Deciding to just go for it I took a cordless phone into my room and dialed the numbers one after another. Three rings later someone picked up.

"Hello," an unfamiliar voice said.

"Is Brian there?" I tried to say calmly.

"Speaking," there was a moment of silence. "You're the kid right? In Mr. Douglas's class?"

"Yeah," I said slowly.

"Did I ever tell you my name?" He asked curiously.

For a second I froze. "I looked it up in a yearbook. You're in the Gamers Club picture from last year and my brother has that book so yeah. That didn't sound too stalker-ish I hoped."

"Oh, that makes sense. I was afraid you told me your name and I forgot it. Um, what is your name?"

"Jay," I relaxed. Things were going well.

"Okay, so like I said earlier the Gamers Club was disbanded last year. Some people were complaining that we aren't actually a club since we didn't do anything, but that's not true. We played video games and not just the new ones, but the older ones too. Anyway, a couple of us didn't really like that and we get together at my house occasionally to do the same things. We're getting together Saturday so why don't you come over and see if you would like to join. I mean it's not really official anymore, but it's still fun."

"I'll ask my mom if I can. What time and where do you live?"

I wrote the details down and that was the end of it. To my parents' credit they played it casually when I said I wanted to meet a friend Saturday. My dad added on the caveat that I had my homework done before I could go, but that had been finished when I was procrastinating over the phone call. I called him again just to say I was coming and got his mom. That was a quick conversation. Before going to sleep that night I jerked off to a fantasy of Brian and me.

I showered the next day early in the morning and I jerked off again, but not thinking about Brian this time. It was more of a preventative action. I put on a T-shirt and shorts that barely covered my knees and then sat around and waited on the couch watching TV. My brother sneaked up on me and tapped me on the head startling me.

I glared at him.

"Cartoon that interesting?" He asked, hopping over the couch to join me.

"You can change it," I said handing him the remote.

"I'm fine," he waved it off. "Are you okay?"

"Why are you asking?"

"Mike and Jeff came to open mats yesterday. They said you were spacey yesterday and you didn't seem to be paying much attention to anything. Then you ask to go to a friend's house and that got me to thinking," he grinned and I knew I wasn't going to like what he was about to say. "I think you got a crush on someone and this friend of yours is actually a girl. Maybe her parents aren't home today."

I wanted to sink through the couch mostly because he was closer to the mark than I care to admit. "Shut up. It's that Gamers Club thing you told me about. It's not a club anymore but they still get together and said I could come over and see if I wanted to join."

My brother looked at me and I could just feel him cutting through every layer of deception. Then he smirked. "So are there any girls at this get together? You know, I've heard a couple think you're cute."

"I'm not the type of cute girls would date."

My brother just shrugged at that. "So are they older than you?"

"Probably," I said turning back to the TV.

"If they give you any shit, point them out to me."

That brought a smile to my face. My brother was my brother. He could tease me, but no one else could.

My mom said we had to get going a few minutes later and a ten minute drive to Brian's house was done in complete silence. We turned down a gravel covered road that had only two houses on it and my mom stopped at the furthest one back. It had one of those huge out buildings that looked like half a tin can in the back. When we pulled into the driveway my mom gave me a one armed hug.

"Have fun and call when you're ready to be picked up."

I nodded and smiled back. "I will."

There were two doors so I chose the closest one and ring the doorbell. I heard the doorbell go off inside, but it seemed to take a long time for someone to arrive. My mom had time to turnaround and was clearly loitering to make sure I got into the house by the time the door opened to reveal Brian. Behind me I heard my mom pull out of the driveway.

"Jay, you're on time." He cracked open the outer door to let me in.

"Well, yeah." I suddenly wondered if this was one of those things where you're supposed to show up later or something.

The room I stepped into was a mudroom that clearly had an area for shoes to go and I was wearing my sandals. Unsure of what to do I just stood there or what felt like several minutes, but could've only been a few seconds because Brian said, "You can put your sandals over there. My mom doesn't like shoes in the house."

I quickly saw why when he led me through the next room. The carpets were thick and looked very clean. I followed him almost like a puppy through the one-room and then down one hallway. He opened the door and said, "The game room is in the basement."

I was going to ask what he meant by that, but he was already heading downstairs and I followed after him. There was a single light at the bottom of the stairs, but the rest of the room was dark and I could only make out a few shapes of a couch and a table or two. Brian was grinning from ear to ear.

"What?" I was beginning to feel nervous.

"You really like videogames, right?"

I nodded and he flipped the light on.

What I saw was hard to take in. The basement was finished and had a long curving couch with a coffee table in front of it. What really held my attention though were the shelves. They lined the wall and were packed with what seemed like every videogame ever made. There were hundreds maybe thousands. Almost unconsciously, I walked further into the room to see more and although the game started in the familiar white of Wii, green of Xbox and the black of PlayStation they became different. Some were shining blue or white and others became boxlike with some even in paper containers. I realize these were older games from older videogame systems.

I stared around in awe and when my eyes landed on an old arcade system, it barely registered. There was just so much. There was one long curvy couch facing two TVs. A 50 inch on the wall that had several of the newer systems hooked up to it and a smaller one that had older systems connected to it. The only non-videogame source of entertainment was an air hockey table that was set back under the stairs.

I turned back around to face Brian who was smiling broadly. "You like?"

"It's amazing. I mean how did you get all of these? I don't even recognize some of the cases. They're all games right?"

"Mostly thanks to my parents and yeah, everything on the shelves are videogames and a lot of them are older than I am."

"Your parents must like video games to keep them all." I turned to look at the room again still astonished at the variety.

"Actually," Brian started, "this is mostly overflow. You see my parents run an Internet store that sells current and retro games. If you think this is impressive you should see what we have in the main building."

"Retro?" I had heard the word before, but not referring to video games.

"Yeah, people want to buy older games sometimes. I think it's mostly stuff from when they were a kid, playing their favorite game again. I mean take the PlayStation one," he gestured over to a spot on the game on that looked like a bunch of CDs. "Most of those will be able to sell for bucks or less, but a Resident Evil game or Final Fantasy game those will sell for a little more. Sega CD and Sega Saturn weren't around for that long so those games usually sell between 10 and 15 bucks. As for the original Nintendo, well those are iffy, anywhere between a dollar and more than the original price."

"You can run a business doing that? I didn't think there would be enough people." I realized it had come out wrong as soon as I said it.

"Yeah, it's a fairly cheap hobby so even in this bad economy were still doing okay." Brian's tone had flattened. "Some people buy them because they relate to games when they were younger or just a game that held up over time."

"Like Panzer Dragoon?" For a second I held my breath wondering if I got the name wrong. It was the oldest game I could think of and that was because I had heard someone talking about it on TV.

"Yeah, exactly like that. That came out for the Sega Saturn back in 1995 and was considered the best the system produced. Personally," that began my crash course in videogame history. At first, I wasn't really interested, but it was obviously important to Brian and I liked when he smiled at me. As I listened, though, I started to get swept up in his lecture as companies like Nintendo, Sega and the newbie Microsoft seem to be like battling armies. I don't know if it was because Brian was telling me all this or I was actually becoming interested, but when he got around to describing why Sega had dropped out of the consul's wars we both heard several people clattering down the stairs.

A tall boy landed at the bottom of the stairs took in the situation and shouted back up, "He's in lecture mode!"

There was an audible gagging sound and then a much smaller boy emerged with his fingers crossed like fending off a vampire. He was quickly followed by a dark-haired girl who gave the boy a slap on the back of the head. This caused Brian and the taller boy to laugh. I had a cold hand gripping my gut, suddenly nervous.

"Who's he?" The one who got smacked ask.

"Jay," Brian said making introductions. "Jay, this is Mark," the boy who got smacked nodded, "his sister Julie, their twins and Eddie not Ed."

"How old are you nine, ten?" Mark asked getting slapped again by his sister.

I was saved from answering by Brian. "He's in the seventh grade. Be nice, I'm trying to get him to join our little group."

"Even if we have five members I don't think the school will reinstate us as a club," Julie said moving over to the couch and plopping down.

"Doesn't mean I wouldn't like more people here." Brian said walking over to one of the consoles to turn it on.

"Now that just hurts my feelings," Eddie said in a mocking tone. "Damn I hate that bitch."

"She's not that bad," Julie said before explaining to me, "He's talking about Mrs. Lewinsky our health teacher. She's very sensitive. You'll have her next year."

I nodded already feeling out of place. The three newcomers had already taken seats and while I would like to sit next to Brian, I wasn't sure where he would be sitting.

"We're starting the Yakuza series today," Brian announced. "The first game was described as having a better story than game play. It was also described as grand theft auto like only much more linear."

As Brian talked he went back with the remote and squeezed between the two boys. I sat on the edge of the couch and pulled my knees up to my chest. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't what I got. The game was single player which meant one person was playing while everyone else watched. The story was good though. A young Yakuza took responsibility for killing someone his friend did and spent ten years in prison. When he got out his friend had moved up the organization and seemed to want him killed for what he knew. Every so often the controller was tossed from person to person so we all got to play for a while. It was a different way of playing a game than I was used to.

The talk was mostly about the game and that was something I could join in on. It was a PlayStation 2 game so the graphics weren't what I was really used to, but the story made up for it. There was also a bizarre scene where a cross-dressing stripper tries to kill you with a shotgun which was unique in my experience.

Time passed. When the character we were playing as walked into a bar to find everyone already dead except for one little girl Julie received a text. I didn't think anything of it until she said. "Guys, we got to go. Our ride is almost here."

There were several moans, followed by Mark saying, "All right, save it so we can go."

I felt sweat prickle on the back of my neck. "You're all going?"

"Yeah," Mark said. "It's a church thing. Our parents volunteered us to help set up for this craft thing. It raises money for the pantry or something."

"You know, I blame your parents for getting my parents to start caring," Eddie said sitting up and stretching. "It's really affecting me."

"I'm not going," Brian said. "Jay, you don't have to go, but we just can't play the game until the whole groups back together tomorrow. That is if you can make it and you want too."

All eyes fell on me. I hated when that happened. Being the center of attention whether it was in front of a class or a small group was unpleasant. "I think I can make it."

"Do you want to call your mom or stick around for a little while longer?" Brian asked and my wishful thinking added a pleading tone.

I hesitated. Was he just trying to be nice or what. "I don't have to be home anytime soon."

Brian smiled showing his teeth. "Great!"

The next few minutes were awkward. The others were getting ready to and I was beginning to feel a bit scared. I desperately wanted to believe Brian like me, but I had no idea exactly how to find that out now that I was here. Then Mark received a text message and they all headed upstairs including Brian. At a loss what to do I just stayed on the couch.

About a minute later Brian shouted down the stairs. "Jay, you want something to drink?"

I pick from the list he listed and picked my favorite. When he came back downstairs he had two cans and I was happy to see they were both the same. "Thanks."

"No problem. So what do you think?" Brian asked handing me the can.

"What? Oh, the club. It seems nice. I wish it was still a school thing so I could join."

Brian laughed. "Yeah, my sister was a lot better at it than I am. She founded the club and has a real knack for keeping people interested. When she graduated it sort of fell to me and I guess I messed up. Of course, the advantage now is all you have to do is show up. We'll probably only meet once a week when school gets really going."

"It was kind of fun. Most people skip the cut scenes, but you guys didn't. I can't watch my brother play because he always skips that stuff."

"Yeah, a lot of people do that," Brian said moving to sit on the couch.

"Well, I like them when the story is good. Sometimes it sucks." I sat next to him on the couch but felt the conversation was dying.

"Yeah," Brian said noncommittally. There was a moment of silence before he said, "Sorry for hitting on you. Glad it didn't scare you off." I was swallowing when he said that last part and it went down the wrong way. I coughed and he patted me on the back and asked, "You okay?"

My eyes were watering a little when I looked up at him. "You were hitting on me?"

Brian looked a little sheepish. "You didn't notice? I'm sorry. Listen, it was my mistake, I'm not going to do it again, you're not interested so, I'm sorry."

I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that not only was Brian saying sorry he had hit on me and thought I'd known about it. How could he be so open about it? Then the second part of the statement drove home and I blurted out, "I am interested."

The silence that followed couldn't have lasted the hour I thought it did because Brian was staring at me and then he was smiling again. "Gay or Bi?"

"Gay, you?" By now my head was spinning and I briefly wondered if this wasn't one of my more surreal fantasies.

"Gay, sorry I thought you knew that. And here I thought I was just misreading your signals."

"What?" That came out a little higher pitch than I wanted it to be.

"What, what? The gay thing or the signal thing?"

"Both," I pleaded.

Brian just shrugged. "I thought everyone knew by now. It's not like I hide it, but it's not like I blurted out to everyone either. Guess I shouldn't have thought you knew." He shrugged. "As for the signals well," he gestured down towards my bare feet.

I looked down. I had started wearing sandals more after Brian had commented they looked good on me. In hindsight, I guess it was being pretty obvious. "Is that it?"

For once Brian seemed a little uncomfortable as he shifted back and forth. "Well, there was something that gave me a little hope. It's kind of stupid, but I read this online and there seems to be some evidence to back it up."

I stayed silent feeling a bit uneasy. Was there something about me that seemed gay?

Brian sighed, "It's your finger length."

"My fingers?" I looked at my hand.

"Yeah," Brian grabbed my hand which sent a little thrill through me. "There have been a few studies that indicate if your ring finger and your index finger are the same length you're more likely to be gay. It's not a sure thing, but I noticed it when you were writing and well figured I'd give you a try. Well, it helped that you're cute."

Brian was still holding onto my hand and I really didn't feel like pulling it away. "You think I'm cute?"

"I said it. What do you think of me?"

For the first time I really looked at him. All right, I had looked at him before, but this time I could really study him instead of a picture. His hair was blonde and his skin was tanned. Brian had thin lips and clear green eyes. "Yeah, I like the way you look."

"Well, if we both think the other is good-looking and we seem to get along, I think we should date."

Up until that moment I didn't really feel the situation was real. A cute boy saying I was cute was the stuff I dreamed of. It wasn't supposed to happen though. "I," trailed off. Brian waited as I looked down. My eyes settling on the couch. "Like, would people have to know?"

Brian was quiet for a second and I was sure I had really stepped in it when he finally broke his silence. "I guess not. I mean I think most people know about me. No one really cares, but you know if you're comfortable that way sure."

"Yeah, I would like it that way." I hesitated and then looked up at him again and asked, "Like how long have you known? You know."

"That I like guys?" He shrugged. "As long as I can remember. Even when I was younger I would have crushes on boys instead of girls. My first boyfriend was about a year ago and well he moved away. We said we would stay in contact online and stuff but it's been a while since I've heard from him and he's dating someone else anyway."

"Sorry," I offered.

Ryan waved it off. "Don't be. You're like ten times better looking than he is anyway. So what is your story?"

This time it was my turn to shrug. "I like guys. I don't know. When I was younger sometimes I would want to be close to another boy and maybe I was was a crush, I don't know."

Brian waited for me to add more, but with my silence he moved on. "I probably should mention that I sort of noticed you before."

I frowned at that. "When?"

"Back when we were both in elementary school. You kind of standout."

"Because I'm short," I supplied.

Brian nodded. "For a while I thought you were one of those genius kids they skipped ahead a few grades."

"No, I'm just short." I hesitated and then explained my condition. Brian sat quietly and listened as I told him my brittle bones. I told him about the time I had smashed my toes against the coffee table and broke two of them. I told him a lot. I usually don't tell people that much, but I figured he already knew my biggest secret so he might as will hear them all.

He ended up doing as much talking as I did and when his mom called down nearly three hours had passed. It was weird. I had never lost track of time like that before. When I said I had to go, he leaned in and kissed me. Having never been kissed before I ended up laughing nervously which was embarrassing. Then again he laughed too so it wasn't so bad.

That was my first visit to the unofficial Gamers Club and not my last. I went every weekend and Brian and I talked online most nights. We also had about ninety seconds every day between classes where we either carried on or had an abbreviated conversation. As it turned out we have a lot more than just video games in common. We both liked science fiction and we both enjoyed swimming.

Then Christmas break or winter break or whatever the hell you want to call it as my dad would say came around. Brian asked me to spend the night the first day of the break. It wasn't just going to be a sleepover though. We had limited sex stuff to cyber sex and had not gone past kissing in real life. I was a little scared, but more excited.

As I packed my bags my biggest concern was whether I should bring pajamas or not. My mom had just bought me a pair and they were a bit big on me. That wasn't what was worrying me though. There was a small part of me that was always worried about screw things up with Brian. I decided to pack them and just wait for him to decide whether we should change or just wear our boxers.

My mom dropped me off and I had pizza with Brian's family. I liked his family. His mom didn't mind having the two of us around. I had been to the YMCA pool more often in the last few months then I had been all last year. She didn't mind driving us to the mall either. I guess being able to do stuff like that was an advantage of a small business. They didn't have to be anywhere as long as they got their daily shipments out on time.

When I polished off my third and final slice of pizza, I had a bizarre realization. Brian's parents knew about him, but true to his word he had not mentioned a thing about me being anything other than a friend. Did they suspect at all? Did they think it was strange that Brian's best friend seemed to be a younger kid? They would have to say something if they did, right?

Brian and I retreated downstairs after dinner and this time when I flipped the lights on I laughed nervously. "What if your mom sees this?

"She helped me inflate the thing." Brian said proudly.

I looked at the inflatable mattress with some trepidation. "You didn't, I mean."

Brian's laugh cut through me. "Jay, sometimes you're too easy. My parents are pretty cool, but not that cool. As far as they're concerned you're just a friend."

I relaxed, but preferred to sit on the couch for now. We started with Madden. I couldn't play real football, but that didn't stop me from kicking Brian's ass in the game. After two games I sat back and watched him play one of the older Resident Evil games. Brian hadn't gotten me as deeply into retro gaming as he was, but I didn't mind.

Ninety Seconds

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