Date: Tue, 19 Apr 2005 09:17:30 -0700 (PDT)
From: priapus <feckon@yahoo.com>
Subject: The Story of Love Part 4

The following is a combination of fact and fiction based on events as I
remember them. Names and locations have been altered for the purposes of
anonymity and to protect the guilty. The story contains sexual scenes
between consenting adult Males. If material of this nature offends you,
you're under 18, or a religious moralist you likes to be censored from the
realities of life and the diversities of the human condition, you should
not read this story. You can pray for my soul instead.

The story of Love. Part 4.

I was running, running fast, so fast I thought my lungs would explode. I
can be a stubborn bastard at times so I refused to stop and give in to my
fatigue. I just slowed a little to ease the pressure as my feet pounded the
small footpath that ran parallel to the beach. I'd decided to get out of
the house. Running always cleared my head, made me feel better, improved my
perspective. Besides, anything was better than lying in my bedroom,
wallowing in self-pity and guilt. There was nothing I could do about
Pramath. Yeah, I was sorry for what I'd done, shocked at my level of
violence. I mean, I'd always had a bit of a temper and could handle myself
in a fight. Growing up with five brothers you learned how to take care of
yourself or you suffered. But to be capable of inflicting such damage was
something else entirely. I'd tried to apologise to Pramath, but if he
wasn't receptive, what could I do? Getting depressed and feeling sorry for
myself wasn't going to help. I couldn't control Pramath's thoughts or his
actions but I could control how I responded to them. Which was why I was
out pounding the path, doing something physical, something decisive.

When I returned to the house, breathless and sweaty, I changed into a pair
of speedos and jumped into the pool to do a few laps. I felt great, better
than I had all day. Pramath and the others got back just as I finished the
last lap. My nephews came running out to the pool, shouting and excited.

"Uncle Mike! uncle Mike! you have to be careful. Uncle Pramath banged his
head off the side of the pool yesterday so you have to be careful!"

I swam breathlessly to the edge of the pool. He must have made up this
story to explain the marks on his face.

"Don't worry, I'll be very careful," I said, smiling. But I think I'm a
better swimmer then your uncle Pramath."

"Oh he wasn't swimming, he was getting out of the pool and slipped on the
steps. His face made a yucky sound when he fell." Shane, the eldest, said,
grimacing

"Yeah! It was a yucky sound," they all piped up. "But there wasn't any
blood," they added, looking somewhat disappointed.

"What?" I replied, confused. "You saw him fall?"

"Yeah, uncle Mike, when we came home, daddy said we could swim for half an
hour but mommy made us get out of the pool when uncle Pramath fell."

"And you all saw uncle Pramath when he fell? Shane, you saw him fall?"

He nodded, "yeah, and it was yucky. Auntie Asha put ice on his face, she
said it would make it all better but it didn't, cos his face still looks
like...like yucky puke." They all shrieked with laugher.

I was shocked by this news, I was furious, how could he lie, lead me to
believe I had caused such damage. I was confused and hurt at his level of
cruelty. Though I have to admit, I was also relieved. I wanted to confront
him straight away but didn't get the opportunity until dinner.

*****

We all sat around the table in the dining room. I was chatting with
Sean. He was lecturing me about responsibility. How I should phone when I'm
staying over with friends. I apologised for the night before, promising to
call if it happened again. Pramath was sitting at the other end of the
table, I noticed it was as far away from me as possible.

When we were finished eating I piped up,

"Pramath, what happened to your face?"

He looked a little wide eyed and startled, I had to suppress a grin. But
before he could answer, Shane spoke,

"Uncle Mike! we told you what happened."

"I know, I know, but I want to hear all the gory, yucky-yucky details from
uncle Pramath," I said, laughing as I tickled him. He squirmed and squealed
with laugher, as did all my nephews.

"So tell us Pramath, how did it happen? C'mon, give us the gory details."

"Nah! I don't wanna talk about it Mike."

"Awe, c'mon Pramath, don't be a spoilsport, what was it like? What were you
thinking when you fell. Were you day-dreaming, a little absent minded when
you lost your footing, preoccupied about anything in particular? How did it
feel when your face made contact with the cold, hard tiles, did you call
out and cry for your mawmee?" I said, playfully, enjoying myself
immensely. My nephews squealed in rapturous laughter. I noticed Sean, Dana
and Asha were laughing too. But Pramath didn't think it was funny, he
didn't look happy as I continued,

"it looks very painful, Pramath, like you were in a fight or something."

"Very funny Mike, it was an accident. I was getting out of the water and
just slipped. And yes, it is painful but only when I laugh," he said,
trying to be amusing and staring at me intensely.

Dana and Asha stood up and began clearing the table. I stood up too as I
said,

"C'mon kids, lets tickle uncle Pramath and make him laugh."

"Yeeeeeaaaahh," they squealed in unison as they ran to gather round him. He
went to get up but I held his arms behind the chair and they started
tickling his stomach, ribs and neck.

"No! leave me alone." He said, trying to stifle his laugher. "Mike, please!
Make `em stop, let me go, ha! ha! ha ! no, no don't, please don't!, ha! ha!
ha!, please, ha! ha! ha! no, it hurts, stop!"

He started to struggle more violently and somehow managed to get to his
feet before pulling away and running to the other side of the room. The
kids gave chase, calling for me to hold him but Pramath quickly turned the
tables.

"No! c'mon kids, lets tickle uncle Mike!"

"Yeeeeeaaaahh, they squealed again, running towards me.

I tried to get away by going for the door but Dana was leaving laden with
dishes so it gave them enough time to catch me. Pramath grabbed me round
the waist and wrestled me to the floor. In a flash, the kids were all over
me like a pack of wolves. They started tormenting me, tickling my stomach
and neck. I can be extremely ticklish at times so I was laughing
uncontrollably. I managed to briefly push them away but Pramath moved in
and straddled my stomach. He was holding my arms to the floor, one each
side of my head. The kids squealed in delight as they continued tickling
me. I raised my hips, pushing Pramath further up my chest and quickly
brought my legs up into the air and around his neck, bringing him down onto
the floor. I wriggled out from under him, jumped up and out through the
patio doors into the cool night air. I was surprised to find my tussle with
him had caused a stir in my jeans. I guess it was like Pavlov's dog, force
of habit.

They gave chase as I ran across the patio. Luckily Dana came rushing out
and insisted the children go inside as it was chilly and time for their
baths. They reluctantly trouped back indoors, whining.

"But it's not fair...."

 I sat down on a sun-lounger to catch my breath. Pramath sat on one
opposite, he had a huge grin on his face.

"That was fun," I said, breathlessly.

"Yeah, their great kids," he replied smiling.

"How come you've no kids Pramath?"

"I'd like kids but Asha wants to wait, maybe next year."

There was a brief silence before he whispered,

"You still angry with me Mike?"

"ME! You're the one whose angry Pramath, what about this morning? Ten days
Mike, ten fucking days!"

"Sorry," he said, sheepishly.

"That was cruel Pramath, really cruel, I suffered today, big-time. you've
no idea. I really believed I did that to you," I said, gesturing towards
his face. "It made me feel bloody awful.

"I know, when I saw you today at lunch, you looked so sad, like you were
gonna cry or something. I wanted to sweep you into my arms, tell you how
sorry I was, I felt so bad for letting you think you wrecked my face.

"Why did you, why did you let me think I did it?"

"Well you, you just presumed, so I went along with it and I was angry Mike,
you hurt me yesterday. You almost broke my arm, slamming me into the wall
like that. And the things you said, they cut me right to the bone."

"Oh and what! You were the picture of innocence. You said some terrible
things too Prem. You're damn lucky I didn't break your bloody arm."

"I know Mike, I'm sorry, but I didn't like you going off with that...that
guy."

"Why, why was it such a big deal? I mean, were you jealous? Jesus, it's not
like were engaged or anything. I said with a half-laugh. "As you keenly
pointed out, what we did was sex, mostly one-way sex, but sex all the
same..."

"I was jealous, I was, I don't know why Mike but I was," he whispered. "I
guess I thought what we did was, you know, kinda special and you...you
going with that guy made it, I don't know...made it sordid, tarnished
somehow."

"Kinda special? C'mon Prem, who are you kidding? I'm not dumb, I know what
we did wasn't the same for you as it was for me. I know I was nothing more
than a convenient alternative to you right hand."

"Hey! C'mon Mike, don't say it like that, you make it sound so..."

"Damn it Pramath, admit it, I was nothing more than...what did you call it
yesterday?...oh yeah, opportunistic sex. When we lay in bed and you made
such a pretense at showing me your appendix scar, it was an
opportunity. You saw an opportunity to get your rocks off so you went for
it. C'mon be honest."

"It sounds so grubby when you put it like that, but yeah, I guess you're
right, I'm sorry Mike, really I am, I gave no thought to your feelings. I
was thinking only with, with my dick." He gave a half-hearted laugh.

"Then if that's the case Pramath, why were you jealous?" I said, feeling
very confused.

"I don't know Mike, I just felt, I just felt possessive, I can't explain,
don't be angry with me please, can we move on, you know, and be buddies
again...please!" He batted his eyelids in an exaggerated way, making me
laugh.

"I should kick your ass all over the this bloody garden," I said, whacking
his arm. "but okay, I'll forgive you...uuhh...do you think we could seal it
with a kiss?" I asked grinning. When I saw the look on his face I quickly
added, "I'm kidding Pramath, I'm kidding, don't look so damn worried."

But to my surprise, he looked around to scan the house, then hastily moved
in to grab the back of my head before pressing his lips hard against
mine. I leaned into him as I opened my mouth a little to brush his lips
with my tongue, he pulled away grimacing and laughing.

"Happy now?" he said grinning.

"Yes, I'll never wash my lips again." I pretended to swoon and he laughed
loudly. "But it was too quick Prem, can we do it properly...you know...with
tongues." I asked, grinning back at him.

"No Mike, I mean it, be happy with that, otherwise we'll end up fighting
again."

"Relax Pramath, lets go in, it's getting cold."

"Can I ask you something first, Mike?"

"Sure, you can ask me anything," I replied.

"Did you sleep with that guy?" he asked meekly.

"Pramath, c'mon, what's the difference...it's not important," it was all I
could think to say.

"Tell me," he replied, "it's important to me, did you sleep with him?"

"Yea, I did, but I don't wanna talk about it," I replied, unsure how this
was going.

"Okay, I was just curious, I figured you did, you know, since you stayed
out all night," he said with a measure of sadness, which only confused me
more.

*****

The next day we set off for the weekend to a place called the
Drakensburg. It had been pre-arranged by my brother Sean. He didn't come
with us as he had to stay behind in Durban to work. We booked into our
hotel on Friday, and on Saturday, myself and Pramath took a guided tour up
a steep, tortuous 12km mountain roadway known as the Sani Pass to
Lesotho. We sat at the back of these open-top jeep-like buses, with
blankets to protect us from the increasing cold as we our way around the
hair-raising, hairpin bends along the mountain. Dana and Asha stayed behind
at the hotel, afraid it would be too cold for them and the children.

Half way up the Sani Pass, Pramath surreptitiously took hold of my hand
under the blanket. I wasn't sure if it was out of fear of the steep
inclines or if he was just being affectionate. Not that it mattered, I
loved the intimacy of holding his hand, it made me feel kinda special. At
one point I moved my hand over to his groin, he flinched and tried to push
it away, I guess he was afraid of being discovered but I persisted and felt
him become aroused. I very gently and tentatively undid his zipper and took
hold of his growing member, I just held it, captivated by its sheer size. I
gently ran my thumb over the fat mushroom head. I didn't jerk it as I was
afraid someone would notice the movement. I smiled inwardly at Pramath's
obvious discomfort as he chatted to an elderly man sitting two sets in
front. It was all a bit surreal, holding his big meaty cock as we chugged
along that dusty mountain pass.

When we eventually reached the top, we went into, what was reputed to be
the highest pub in Africa.  We had something to eat and a couple of beers
and afterwards headed out to do a little exploring. I wore several layers
of clothing. Coming from a relatively cold country I was well used to the
cold but Pramath wasn't. He constantly bickered about feeling chilled. Even
after I gave him my hooded sweatshirt, he still complained. I ribbed him
about it.

We followed a path around the mountain until we came to a wider section. We
sat down on some rocks, on a relatively steep slope, Pramath sat a little
lower down and lay back against my chest. I wrapped my arms around him,
holding him close, rubbing his arms and chest, as we laughed about the cold
weather.

I loved the closeness, the intimacy, just being with him. As we sat there
chatting, three men and two women, came around a curve in the path, Pramath
started to pull away but I held him tighter, whispering in his ear,

"relax Pramath, they don't know us and it's not like we're doing anything
wrong."

"Mike, this is South Africa, you're white, I'm Indian, people are naturally
curious, didn't you notice everyone staring at us today when we got in the
Jeep? And look at them watching us now."

"Fuck `em, let `em watch." I whispered, giggling. "Besides, this is
Lesotho, so technically there's no fucking apartheid here.

As they passed a few feet from us, I raised my hand,

"hello, would you mind taking our photo," I said, holding up my
camera. They looked a little surprised as they stopped. One of the men took
our picture and we passed a few pleasantries. The women did most of the
talking, asking where we were from etc. As we spoke, I noticed one cute
guy, he was about my age, with blue eyes and tuffs of mousy blond hair
sneaking out from under his hat, he was staring right at us, at the way my
arms were draped over Pramath's shoulders and across his chest. Immediately
my gaydar when into full alert mode. I gave him my best smile and he smiled
back before finding something interesting on the ground.  They said
goodbye, enjoy your holiday etc. and we watched them walk along the
path. The cute guy looked back furtively, I waved and he returned my wave
before disappearing around a sharp bend.

"Mike, I can't believe you did that, asking them to take our picture and
talking to them like that."

"C'mon Pramath, it's no big deal, I was just being friendly.

"Mike, I'm sure they were wondering about us, they probably thought we were
a couple of fairies."

"Gay Pramath, the polite word is gay, anyway, who cares what they think,
for all they know we're just two friends, close friends keeping each other
warm," I said as I squeezed him tighter. "Hey, did you notice the cute guy
scoping us?"

"No Mike, which one?"

"The good-looking blond guy, he was staring right at us, you had to notice
him."

"No, I don't usually notice that kinda thing Mike, I'm not in the habit of
looking at guys and thinking, oh he's a cutie, I'd give him one" he roared
with laugher. "I tend to look at the ladies...er...except for you of
course," he said, patting my hand and giggling.

"You're such a charmer Pramath...er...do you think we could get together
later?"

"No, I don't think so Mike, it's not a good idea, besides, it will be
difficult, you know, with he others."

"But Prem, you leave in a few days and want to snuggle up with you before
we say goodbye."

"Awe, c'mon Mike, don't say it like that."

"Like what?"

"You make it sound so final, so tragic," he said, laughing.

"I don't mean to, it's just, well, I'll, I'll miss you when you're gone, I
like you Pramath, I like you a lot, you know that, don't yeh."

"I know you do," he said as he squeezed my hand. "C'mon, we better get
going or they'll leave without us and I don't fancy spending the night on
this cold mountain."

"Mmm, that would be nice," I replied, pulling him back against my
chest. "We could share a bunk at the little pub," I kissed his cheek.

"Jesus Mike! don't do that, people will see us," he said, jumping-up and
looking around in panic.

"Relax, there's no one about", I replied, following him along the path.

"It doesn't matter Mike, it's still risky, just control yourself for fuck's
sake."

"Okay, okay, don't loss your blob!" I replied, grinning.

He hit me playfully on my arm and ran ahead. I gave chase and jumped onto
his back, he carried my along and we giggled like a couple of schoolboys
before we fell down laughing.

"I'm gonna really miss you too Mike," he said, as he pulled me to my feet.

"Come to my room tonight and I'll give you something to remember me by," I
replied, fluttering my eyebrows and giggling, "please Pramath."

"Okay Mike, I'll try."

"If not, I can always invite that cute blond guy to my room," I said,
giggling. "I'm almost sure he's staying at our hotel." As soon as I said
it, I wished I could take it back. He looked pained, genuinely hurt. He
paused to look out across the mountain before turning back to face me.

"Don't do that Mike, don't, don't tease me like that," he whispered.

I was surprised and confused by his reaction.

 "I'm sorry, I was kidding, c'mon Pramath, you know I was only kidding,
don't look so glum. He's nothing compared to you." I reached up to caress
his cheek and he responded with a half-smile. There was a touch of sadness
to it. and like osmosis, it began to infect me too, I shrugged if off,
"C'mon I'll race yeh to the bus," I said, laughing and bounding ahead.

"Hey, that's cheating!" he shouted, in hot pursuit.

*****

Later that evening after we'd all had dinner we sat drinking coffee and
chatted for about an hour. Afterwards, they went back to their rooms and
left me on my own. They tended to go to bed early, usually around nine. It
was way too early for me so I hung around and chatted with other hotel
guests and drank a couple of beers. Later I went to my room and sat
watching TV but I couldn't relax, I kept getting up and pacing the room
like a pent-up animal waiting for Pramath to arrive. He promised to come as
soon as Asha was sleeping. It was almost midnight when he finally knocked
on my door.

As soon as he was in the room, I was all over him. I was tearing at his
clothes as he laughed, telling me to slow down. I was so fucking horny, my
cock strained against the fabric of my shorts as I undid his belt. I yanked
his trousers and white briefs down in one swift motion and paused to look
at his huge swelling cock. He was tripping copious amounts of pre-cum,
obviously horny in anticipation of our meeting. I quickly took it in my
mouth, savoring the earthy tang as I ran my tongue across the slit and
sucked on the salty-sweet nectar. He moaned softly in pleasure before
gently pushing me away and undressing completely.

Naked, he was a sight to behold, like a Greek statue fashioned from the
rarest marble, a figure of masculine perfection. I ran my hands over his
muscular frame, through his dark hairy chest, across his six-pack abs,
passed his large throbbing cock and down to his powerfully built legs. I
turned him round, and with an intake of breath, explored his perfect round
ass, massaging his muscular butt-cheeks and parting them to gawp spellbound
at his hidden treasure. I proceeded to run my tongue across his dark
rose-bud before making my way up along his back. I kissed the nape of his
neck as I pushed my hand between his legs to gently cup his large,
low-hanging balls. He parted his legs to give me greater access as he
leaned against me, moaning. I played with his balls as I kissed his neck
and nibbled his ear.

I quickly dropped my shorts, and stepping out of them as he turned to face
me. We embraced, holding onto each other like our lives depended on it. I
wanted so much to draw him close, to kiss those sweet dark lips but I knew
it was taboo. I settled for his neck and face, covering the damaged side
with soft butterfly kisses. Suddenly, he reached up, took my head in his
hands and pressed his forehead against mine and I watched in surprise and
horror as a single tear fell from his eye to travel the length of his
handsome face before dropping and landing on my exposed foot. I started to
speak but he placed his finger on my lips to silence me.

Taking my hand, he guided me to the large double bed and pulled back the
covers. We lay down and I moved across his body to take him in my
mouth. But he pulled me towards him and held me in a tight embrace. I
started to say something but again he silenced me by placing his fingers on
my lips. He pushed me over onto my back and lay on top of me with his legs
tucked under him, each knee resting on either side of my chest, his massive
cock pressed against my stomach. He rested his head on my chest, just below
my chin, and I could feel his warm breath on my neck. I held him close and
gently stroked his hair as I felt hot tears sear my skin.

This was not at all how I'd foreseen things, not at all what I'd planned. I
was concerned and very confused.

"What's wrong Pramath, why are you crying?"

"Shhh, don't speak Mike, please, I'm okay, give me a minute, just hold me,
please."

I held him to my chest as I kissed his forehead and continued to stroke his
hair. He put his arms around my neck and we lay there in silence for a long
time before I was forced to break the mood.

"Pramath," I whispered softly. "I'm sorry but you're getting too heavy, I'm
finding it difficult to breath."

He rolled over on his back and I snuggled up to him, pushing my face into
the warm crevice between his neck and shoulder. We lay together for
sometime as I ran my fingers through his chest hair. I was amazed at its
density and length, it was like a woolly mammoth. I kissed and nibbled his
shoulders and neck. The smooth, honey-toned skin of his shoulder contrasted
with the hair on his chest. This, coupled with his sweet manly aroma, was
enough to drive me crazy. I moved over to kiss each tear stained eye before
moving to his ear and whispering,

"Pramath...I wanna fuck you...I wanna make love to you."

No way Mike! Jesus I can't, I've never done anything like that!"

"I know Pramath, that's why it'll be so good" I whispered, looking into his
moistened brown eyes. "Do this one thing for me Prem, I want you to be the
first guy I do it with, something we'll always remember."

"what about the airport guy Mike, didn't you to it with him or did he do it
to you?"

"No, he wanted to do it with me but I didn't let him. I'd much prefer to do
it with you Prem. C'mon, you'll like it, hasn't it been fun so far?"

"Yes, yes it has, but, but it's different, it's crossing a line."

"No it's not Pramath, c'mon man, you've just been conditioned into seeing
it as some kinda taboo. Let's just give it a try, it'll be fun and I want
you so bad, I'll be gentle, I promise" I said as I nibbled his ear.

I could see he was losing the battle, was considering the prospect, so I
quickly said, "I'll get some moisturizer from the bathroom."

Before he had a chance to reply, I slid out of bed, ran to the bathroom and
returned with a bottle.

"I don't know about this Mike, is it gonna hurt?"

"Look, lets give it a try, if you don't like it I'll stop and just fuck
between your thighs like I did before."

As we spoke I was already smearing some between his ass crack, he flinched,

"Hey! That's cold," he said, giggling.

He got up on his knees, pushing his ass in the air, keeping his head on the
pillow. It was an impressive sight, his muscular ass looked hot and
inviting as I smeared moisturizer onto my throbbing cock. I guided the tip
towards his dark rose-bud.

"Now go slow Mike. God, I can't believe I'm doing this."

I positioned the head of my cock at the entrance and proceeded to push. It
took several attempts, there was a lot of resistance but with a little
perseverance it eventually popped through his sphincter. He gasped as I
slowly and very gently entered him to the hilt.

And oh my God! The feeling was beyond description. No amount of books, porn
magazines or videos had prepared me for such an incredible feeling, it was
the most intense, exquisite feeling ever. The tight enclosed warmth of him
set my body aflame. It was as if my whole body was enveloped in pure
perfect pleasure. I slowly withdrew and gently pushed back in again, I
moaned as he howled.

"Stop, Mike...stop, stop, stop, this feels too fucking weird."

"Okay...okay...just relax Pramath...relax your body, it is painful, does it
hurt?"

"No Mike, it just...it just feels weird, like I wanna take a dump."

"Okay, I'll stop," I said, full of disappointment and regret.

I pulled out from him and he turned over onto his back.

"I'm sorry but that was too fucking weird Mike."

"It's okay Prem, don't worry about it." I said, as I kissed and sucked on
his nipple. "Maybe we can try again a little later."

"Mike...er...maybe...er...do you think we could try it with me lying like
this, on my back?"

"Hell yeah! We could give it a try," I said, full of enthusiasm again.

"Okay Mike, lets try it, put some more moisturizer, it may help."

He grabbed hold of his knees, pulled them his towards his chest and spread
them wide. I took a pillow and placed it under his ass before smearing him
with more lotion. I wobbled above him as I got into position. Placing my
throbbing, rock-hard cock at this puckered hole and watched in awe as it
slide back in with little resistance.

"Wait Mike...wait, stop moving...em...just give me a second...just
wait...okay...okay...do it...but go slow."

I continued to slowly thrust, gently sliding in and out as I moaned softly,
lost in a warm ocean of bliss. I had to fight the powerful, almost
overwhelming urge to thrust more vigorously. Instead, I gently increased
the speed a fraction, each time pushing up to the hilt and back again as I
floated on waves of ecstasy. I heard him moan softly in what could only be
described as a sound of pleasure. I took this as a good sign and started to
thrust a little faster. My whole body tingled as I pushed deeper into his
wonderfully tight ass. His soft moaning grew louder as my pounding grew
faster, he started jerking on his cock and groaning,

"oh Mike that feels good, fucking weird...but good, oh man, I can't believe
I'm do...Oh yeah...oh yeah...just there...that feels good.

I grabbed his ankles, and throwing my head back, began thrusting with
abandon as he continued,

"Oh man that feels fucking weird...oh your...your doing something, hitting
something...go deeper, Mike, yes, harder man!...harder!... oh yeah!...oh
yeah! I'm gonna cum."

He pulled his knees closer and lifted his ass a little higher to give me
greater access and started to push his ass to match my now urgent,
salacious, animalistic thrusts. My hips were slapping noisily against his
taut muscular ass-cheeks and my cock made a wet squelching sound as I
rammed it into him. It wasn't long before I left the beginnings of my own
climax building deep within my body as I continued thrusting. He moaned
loudly when I reached down to push his hand away before grasping his huge
throbbing cock to wrap my fingers around the swollen mushroom head. And
just as I reached the most intense orgasm of my young life, he let out a
stifled cry before spurting copious amounts of hot sticky semen onto my
hand, my fingers and his torso. I collapsed forward and lay prostrate
against his firm muscular body with my cock still deeply embedded within
him. We lay there, catching our breaths, enjoying the deep feeling of
gratification and complete sexual fulfillment. A warm, cosy afterglow that
enabled us to soar to new heights of contentment until gradually my
softening cock slipped from him to break the mood and bring us back down to
reality.

**** Epilogue.

I don't know if Pramath was gay, bi, confused or a straight man who just
took advantage of an opportunity to explore and experience something
different. I never got the chance to find out. I never pushed him for an
adequate explanation. His possessiveness, his last night tears and the fact
that he let me fuck him but not kiss him is something that has always
confused me. I guess, like most people, I tend to see things in the binary
opposites, gay or straight. As gay men we have a tendency to place people
along that dichotomy but maybe there are no absolutes, and perhaps that's
how it should be.

After that first memorable trip to South Africa, I returned to London and
have never meet Pramath since. He lingers somewhere on the periphery of my
consciousness, only to come to the forefront when his name is
mentioned. Shortly after my visit, he emigrated to Australia with his
wife. They run their own import/export business. They have two children,
two boys, who would be in their teens now.

I returned to London and met with John. We dated on and off for a couple of
years before he eventually returned to America. He came with me when my
friend Juma got married and I pointed out Dr. H. as the man who initiated
me with my first sexual experience. We still keep in touch. Myself and
Rakanja visit him and his partner in New York or they come to us in London.

During those university years, I dated several guys and even had a couple
of heterosexual experiences, mostly it was casual sex, one night
stands. But I grew disillusioned. I don't wanna sound smug, but I know I
hit the jackpot with Rakanja and have never felt a need to be with anyone
else. Yes, I've looked and admired over the years, I am human after all,
but I've never indulged. I guess it's a bit like window shopping, you look,
you admire but you don't make a purchase.

Rakanja still fears I will one day up and leave him, in his heart he knows
I wont, but he still worries. I think it's to do with the age gap. Rakanja
is almost 60 and I'll soon be 42. The irony is, he doesn't look his age,
people always assume we're both in our 40's. I don't know if it's genetics,
his fitness regime or his liquorice-black skin but he looks a decade
younger. Not that it matters because I love him unconditionally. But I
still have to reassure him at times, explain how there are no guarantees in
any relationship, gay or straight. But I love him and can't imagine my life
without him. How I need the love, security and reassurance I get from our
relationship .

And yet, there are times, particularly late at night, when I have trouble
sleeping. I lie awake, warm and snug against his dark muscular body and my
mind begins to drift. I think about the people we meet and the choices we
make as gay men. I think about the directions our lives take. I think about
how my life would have been if things had turned out differently. I think
about the `if onlys'.

I think about a hand, moving from a scar, to grasp a swelling penis, and
how your whole life can pivot on a single decision, one fleeting moment of
brilliance that can resonate and echo throughout your life before the
choice is made, consummated and then gone forever, only to be resurrected
and given new life...as a memory.

**** The End ****


Copyright 2005

I apologise if this appears a little rushed, particularly the epilogue but
I wanted to get it finished as I'm working on other stuff. I want to take
this opportunity to thank those of you who have taken the time to write to
me with your praise, criticisms, comments and suggestions. I really
appreciate the feedback. Email: feckon@yahoo.com