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When comfort grabs you. She doesn't let you go. And nothing even matters. This school didn't matter and the world didn't matter. It had been a week now since Jonah had been gone and I was realizing now that it was ok. It was completely ok.

"So your 18^th birthday is coming up, what do you want?"

"To be comforted," I smiled.

I was talking to Mitchell. We had gone to the school football game but we didn't even watch it. Mitchell was kind of a cool guy to hang out with. He let you do your own thing. He didn't bother you too much. Truth was it was nice being around him. I didn't even know why we were at the football game. When you were on comforts you did random shit that you would normally not do. It was the first football game.

Mitch had actually suggested it with a `why not' mentality. I laughed at the thought of doing something so random. The whole game he had just had me up against a wall by the food stands though.

He put his arm over my head, "I can comfort you..."

"You know what I mean..."

"Have I ever charged you for a Comfort pill?" he asked.

"No..."

"You know how expensive these things are?" he asked, "I don't just give shit away for free."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I'm helping you out because I like you. I'm like infatuated with you shawty."

I laughed and he laughed too.

When you were high on Comforts everything was fucking hilarious. I had to admit he was cute though. I felt like the biggest nerd when I was around Mitchell. He was so fucking cool.

"Ok, so what would you like?" I asked, "You know I'm high right now so you have to break it down. Word for word. What do you want from me Mitch."

"Your attention," he said smiling, "I just want a chance...and I'd like you not to call me Mitch."

I laughed and shook my hand, "I can give you attention and not call you Mitch. As far as a chance though I'm still..."

"Stuck on the one who ran away," Mitchell stated.

"I'm just holding onto it..."

"Well hold onto this," he said.

Mitchell leaned forward and kissed me on my lips. It was gentle kiss that shocked the fuck out of me. When you were on comfort even a kiss felt different. I was so high.

A voice seemed to be reacting to the kiss, "Whoa, Quashie."

Mitchell got off me when he heard that I was being called. I was surprised to see Adrian, Aaryn and Ozzie together. I hadn't really talked to Ozzie at all since we fell out. Seeing him now with the two people I hated most annoyed the hell out of me.

It was Ozzie that had made the comment. The three walked over.

I raised an eyebrow, "This is a funny trio ..."

Aaryn smiled at me, "Hey Quashie."

I ignored her completely, "What's up Ozzie?"

Mitchell found this hilarious.

"How have you been?" Ozzie stated, "I haven't heard from you in a while. Are you ok?"

"Oh yeah, I'm great. I'm high. It's amazing," I said.

"What?"

Mitchell started to laugh and I couldn't help but laughing with him. It was hilarious to see Ozzie and Adrian looking at each other completely freaked out by what I just said.

"Nothing, can I help you with something?" I asked.

"I just missed you," Ozzie stated.

"We all do." Adrian followed up.

I ignored Adrian, "Ozzie you are part of the popular group now. What's left of the popular group that is. Isn't this what you always wanted. Why you thinking about me?"

"Are you serious right now?" Ozzie stated.

"I think he is," Mitchell responded.

"He wasn't talking to you," Adrian stated.

"What lil boy?" Mitchell said stepping forward.

"Lil boy?"

Ozzie pulled Adrian back and extended a hand to Mitchell, "I'm Ozzie. Quashie's best friend. Who are you?"

"Mitchell Grant."

"The drug dealer Mitchell Grant?" Aaryn asked.

The three of them raised their eyebrows. I could see the judgment in their eyes. I wondered if this was how Lauren felt when they

"I'm far from a drug dealer," he stated, "Not on no breaking bad shit."

"Quashie..." Ozzie started.

"Quashie let me talk to you for a minute in private," Adrian said.

The nerve of this guy. He wasn't asking. He was saying like he got some authority over me or something.

"Don't you get it? I fucking hate you," I stated, "Do you understand that? You are a piece of shit Adrian. I don't want to talk to you in private, in public or in your fucking fantasies. You are completely dead to me."

At that point Adrian reached out for my arm.

I was shocked he would do some shit like that.

"Don't fucking touch me."

"Quashie."

"He said not to fucking touch him," Mitchell said before pushing Adrian.

"Whoa don't push him," Ozzie said.

"Did you guys see this dickhead just push me?" Adrian asked.

"Dickhead?"

That was when Mitchell punched Adrian. I was completely shocked when he did it. He hit Adrian square in his jaw. For a moment I felt bad but then I remembered Adrian was the jealous bastard that he was who couldn't take no for an answer and scared Jonah away.

Adrian swung back at Mitchell but Mitchell dodged him.

Mitchell put Adrian in a head lock and Adrian managed to trip Mitchell on the floor.

The started fighting with Ozzie and Aaryn screaming in the background for them to stop.

"Oh my god! Break it up!" Aaryn screamed.

Ozzie tried but was pushed back landing square on his back. Aaryn looked at me as though expecting me to break up the fight. I didn't though. I just watched. I was very much entertained by this.

Mitchell was definitely getting the better of Adrian but then I realized a group of kids coming from the back. I knew who they were immediately. They were Adrian's friends.

"Time to go," I said finally grabbing Mitchell off of him.

 

I couldn't believe they had gotten into a brawl like that. Mitchell did look pretty banged up on the way back to the mansion. Still I knew if he was beat up like this that Adrian was just as beat up. It made me feel actually a lot better to know Adrian finally got what he deserved.

"You protected me," I said.

I was confused.

"Those are the some of the assholes that hurt Lauren aren't they?" he asked.

I nodded, "Aaryn really but Adrian hung around that group."

"Fuck those people," he said, "You are too good for them. If your friend Ozzie wants to sell his soul to be a part of that group that is his business. I think you are better than that."

"What do you know about me?" I asked.

He smiled.

"I don't know...but I'm going to know everything soon."

 

"Still no Jonah?" Mr. Hill asked me.

He had actually found me on the back porch. I was surprised when he came over. I had been spending time alone away from everyone. Him being here was interesting to say the least.

I nodded.

"Still no Jonah," I confirmed.

"How are you holding up?" he asked me.

I shrugged, "It's your son. How do you feel?"

"Quashie," Mr. Hill explained, "He really cared about you. Some people are free spirits though. He's spent his whole life running, being free. The idea of being tied down I think scared him. I think you are the reason he stayed as long as he did."

I shook my head.

"That's not love Mr. Hill. That's betrayal."

I felt cold inside since he left. It was the worst time ever for someone to just up and leave. I wasn't sure what Mr. Hill was doing here. I just wanted to be alone lately. Him being here was NOT helping the matter at all.

"You sure?"

"I'm positive."

"Come with me..."

I resented the idea for a minute but ended up following him.

We ended up going back into the house. We wandered to different parts of the house and I saw Mr. Hill seemed to be a lot more comfortable walking through the house. It did make sense though coming to think of it. He actually grew up here and his entire family line was raised in this mansion.

We were on the fifth floor of the mansion and Mr. Hill lead me to a dead end. There was nothing there.

It was just a wall.

"What is this supposed to be?" I asked.

He tapped the wall three times and it opened up. It was like some sort of trick wall or something like that. The wallpaper separated and the wall split open.

We walked through and immediately there was this smell that hit me

Cinnamon.

Mr. Hill stepped aside to let me enter the room, "You tell me this isn't love..."

"How did you find this?"

This had to be where Jonah had been staying. The whole place smelled like him. It was a strange place with a fridge and art everywhere. The place was beautiful in this artistic way. It looked comfortable. It had everything someone needed to live. It had a bookshelf. The book shelf was huge and looked like it had hundreds of books. It had a separate bathroom. He had a little television. He had a few games. His bed was comfortable looking pressed up against a wall in the other corner.

What interested me most was the mall.

It was a mall that had photos of me.

Not just photos from this year when we had met, but photos blown up to huge proportions from when I was 11, 12, 13. There were photos of me painting. There were hearts drawn all around it.

"I found the place when I was looking for him a few days ago. I figured maybe he came back here..."

"He didn't."

"No. He's not here. But look. Tell me that isn't love."

"It's...intense..."

The wall was like a shrine to me or something.

"Creepy huh?" Mr. Hill said and laughed, "I have some very strange children. I have to admit."

"They are passionate. No hell I can't be creeped out by him," I stated shaking my head, "It's mutual. I used to sit in class and draw pictures of him all day after I saw him."

It was definitely a mutual creepiness.

"You two were infatuated with each other. In Jonah's case I think he's been in love with you for years."
"This isn't helping."

Tears were in my eyes. How could you leave someone after this?

He had been watching me since I was ten. He had to be the same age. Years of liking someone and you just up and leave.

"I read a journal," he said, "He must have started it a while ago when he was younger. He never kept up on it. I'm thinking he had to be thirteen or fourteen when he started it. There are pages that mention you."

He walked over over to a desk and opened it.

"I was hoping it'd lead me to him. I found no clues though. Maybe you'll have better luck than I did."
He handed me the journal.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked Mr. Hill.

Mr. Hill shook his head, "For years I was confused about what happiness meant. I figured giving my family wealth and power would mean happiness. I was wrong. I didn't have the time to spend with them. I didn't have the guts to protect their feelings. That is what they wanted. That's what a father is for."

"What?"

"A father is there to protect the things that his family holds high and preserve the memories they love. I failed for Pristine, Jackie and Lauren. I don't think it's too late for Jonah."

"Jonah is gone."

"Not in there," Mr. Hill said pointing to my heart, "That is where it counts. If Jonah is in your heart has he ever really left you?"

It sounded JUST like something Jonah would say.

It was eerie.

Like father, like son. I guess...

"How do you know he exists in my heart?"

"If he was gone in there you wouldn't be crying right now and hugging on that journal like it is the last thing that you have in this world."

 

Jonah's journal read

 

<I keep seeing this boy and he's like an angel. I used to hate him. Felt like Mom had replaced me already with him. She never talks about me. None of them ever talk about me.

They must not miss me.

That boy though, I can't blame him. He doesn't know I exist. He has the most amazing lips. I wonder what they feel like. I guess I'll never know. Thoughts like that is what caused his mess anyway.

Still...

He's beautiful.

Yesterday I got so close to him when he was sleeping. His name is Quashie. That's such a fucking sexy name. He'd probably think I was the biggest weirdo if he knew I was watching him sleep though. Maybe I am a fucking weirdo. I've been alone so long. I just want a friend. He'd probably be such a good friend.

Those lips...

Those lips...

I'd take him to my place In the mountains. He likes to draw scenery I think. He'd probably love to draw the mountains."

The mountains?

"What the fuck are you reading?" Mitchell stated.

I had actually forgotten that I had invited Mitchell over. He was taking a pill of Comfort at the moment and wasn't even paying attention to me.

"Nothing."

"Come get some of this Comfort," he said.

"Not in the mood right now," I said.

I was too busy thinking about Jonah.

"You thinking about him again aren't you?"

He moved over to me and sat on the edge of my bed with me.

"Do you really want to hear this?"

Mitchell laughed, "Believe it or not I think we are good friends. So yes I do want to hear about him and your...feelings...ha..."

I rolled my eyes not sure if he was being smart or not.

I started talking though for me and not him.

"I knew how he was. I knew he was a free spirit that did what he wanted but for some reason I thought what we had was enough to keep him grounded."

"Do you hate him?"

"What?"

"You told that Adrian asshole you hated him. I was wondering if you felt the same way about Jonah for leaving you."

I thought about it.

"I don't think. It felt like I was trying to capture the rain. Running around in circles with my hands above my head. No matter how much I ran or how much water I collected it'd still get away from me."

"So why not go look for him?" he started, "Are you done chasing the rain?"

"I wouldn't even know where to start."

He laughed, "True. Who knows where rain comes from anyway. Maybe he doesn't want to be found."

"The Hills are hard-headed."

"Yeah, Lauren was like that too..."

"So what do I do?"

"Live. Move on," he said and crossed his arms, "I had a bad breakup and Lauren told me something that stuck with me."

"What'd she say?"

"She said, `you said you couldn't breathe without that person...well look at you now...breathing and shit."

I laughed.

"Just let him go, just that easy."

"He let you go..."

I was so surprised that of all people to help me get through this it was Mitchell. He didn't even seem like he was wise or anything like that. He was DEFINITELY no Jonah.

"True."

"Close your eyes."

I closed them.

"Ok..."

"Open your mouth."

I hesitated but then I opened it.

And I felt him put the pills in my mouth. There were multiple. I had never taken multiple pills. I closed my mouth. I swallowed.

I felt him kissing me. This time the kiss was deeper more powerful.

I opened my eyes to see Mitchell on top of me.

And it felt so...immediate.

"Wait...no I shouldn't do this...Jonah..."

"Shh...let me comfort you."

I should have said no. I should have pushed him off. That's so much easier to say then do when a sexy ass man wasn't throwing himself on you and you were high as hell.

Before I knew it we were naked.

I didn't know how it happened.

His naked body rolled on top of mine. His dick went between my legs. He pressed it between my thighs pulling it in and out as though he was fucking me until I could feel the precum.

HIS ENTIRE body was covered with tattoos...I don't know why it turned me on so much.

His dick grinded up against my naked body. Then I could feel him kissing me tonguing the side of my neck and I closed my eyes.

He was right. I was comforted.

I was taken away to a far away place where the water was made of diamonds.

In this place everything smelled like...

It smelled like...

Well...cinnamon.

I found myself reaching out. I was an angel all of a sudden in Eden as this snaked bit my neck and it felt SO good.

Now my hand was reaching up...reaching up for the apple.

The beautiful face appearing above me. I called to it reaching. He was my apple.

"Jonah..."

"No, I'm Mitchell..." Mitchell said stopping all of a sudden, "I can't believe you just called me your fucking ex."

That was when the voice came from behind him.

It was Jonah...the real Jonah watching us.

"He wasn't talking about you..."