Chapter 5- Luis "Lopez" Pilar

My block is drenched with passion sometimes. In the summer the block is hot. On my block you're likely to see dudes stopping track just to talk to a girl with a nice ass. My block has more babymamas than wives. My block has perfected the art of short lines for the condoms but long lines for the clinic. On my block for every one wife you get about 5 side chicks. My block has more hookups than lovers.

There's barely any lovers on my block.

There's barely any love on my block.

I look over at Meech. He's a little angel sitting there in this car. There's no place in the world he belongs more than right here in my car right now. He leans his head up against the glass. He breathes so deep that his breath fogs up the glass. I watch him breathe in the corner of my eye. It's such a deep fucking rhythm that after a few seconds we inhale together in silence.

"Should I make a right on this block?" I ask Meech.

He doesn't answer. He just stares out into the darkness, "Shit...sorry. You was supposed to make a left two lights ago."

I stop the car.

I look over at him, "Yo... you OK Meech?"

"Yeah."

"You don't look OK. Listen. I know you going through some shit right now. I lost family too man. I know that shit can be tough or whatever. I know---"

Meech sighs but puts on this tough little face, "I'm not no bitch man. I'm a grown ass man. You ain't Iyanla. Don't need you to fix my life brotha. Just take me home or let me the fuck out. I'll walk."

"Who the fuck you talking to? I'm trying to help your BITCH ASS. Yo fuck you..."

"Man fuck you too."

He's about to get out at that moment. I calm down. I grab him before he gets out of the car. I've never been so soft with someone in my life. I'm shocked by it to be honest. I turn over and look at Meech. He's confused on why I grab him. When he looks back I try to remove any resting asshole expression that I have on my face and seem a little bit more understanding.

"Look. My bad," I tell him, "I'm sorry. I jumped the gun right there. Come back in the car. How about this? You probably want to get your mind off the shooting. I get it. Or whatever. But shorty---you probably just need to drink and chill a little bit."

"I don't got no money."

"I got you," I respond.

He gives me a suspicious look, "Why you being so nice to me?"

It was a simple answer. I'm being nice because you are my future, Meech. If it was a female I would have said that. If it was a female I would have "Kicked game". I'm not going to kick game and flirt with Meech right now. I had too much respect to use some stupid ass line on him. So instead I shrug and just start driving towards the apartment I started renting a few days ago.

"Shit. No reason. I want a drink to," is the reason I give him.

My apartment on the same block as Ty's trap house. Ty wants me to stay close. As soon as Meech walks in the apartment I hustle around to clean up a few things. I hope he doesn't notice the used condoms that I quickly shove in the trashcan or the bottle of lube that I slide into the bar. Meech walks around the house as he walks in. He's looking around.

"You just moved in here?" he asks me.

"Yeah homie," I respond.

I notice that there are some panties on the ground. I had a girl over a few days ago. I didn't fuck her. I ended up kicking her out when I surprisingly couldn't get hard off of the head she was giving me. The whole time I was thinking about Meech for some goddam reason. I was just thinking about how much better it would be if it was Meech instead of her. I even closed my eyes and started imagining it being Meech. It was working until she started moaning and shit. It was a real turn off. I kicked her out and for some reason her panties stayed behind.

I kick the panties underneath the couch and sit on it.

"This is dope," he tells me, "You have a lot of taste. It's crazy your apartment looks like this and you haven't even been out of prison that long. How much is this couch?"

"5 thousand," I tell him and shrug, "I guess I'm a ghetto superstar. You know how that is. Outside you live in the ghetto and everything is torn up but inside looks like a fucking palace. Only on these couple of blocks man."

"You right," he laughs, "Oh my god! Is that a PS4?"

"You play?"

"Mortal Kombat," he tells me.

"You're in luck. I got the new one. Pop it in man. I'll go make us a drink."

He nods, "OK. Get comfortable and prepare to get your ass whooped."

I don't know why my smile gets wider than it should. I look so corny right now. A part of me wants to slap myself. What the fuck are you thinking Lopez getting all hyped over this fucking boy like this? Why the fuck does it matter that he likes the same game as you do. I have to get a hold of myself. I feel like a geek. I fucked dozens of girls and boys in my life. Sure Meech has a nice looking ass or whatever but I was Luis THE LOPEZ Pilar.

My smile fades quickly as I walk to the kitchen and set some glasses up. "You talk a lot of shit little man huh? It's OK. Prepare to learn a few things. By the way. What do you drink? Brown or light?"

"Whatever's clever."

"I like that. You a go with the flow kind of dude."

I come back with a few drinks. He's sitting there looking all cute. He's already picked his character. He picked Sub Zero. It's only right that I take up the other controller and pick Scorpio. I sit next to him and hand him a drink. It's hard not to stare at him. I'd never met someone I just have to fucking stare at all the time like this. I felt like such a fucking geek.

The game starts. I beat him easily the first round and watch as the complaining starts.

"Stop cheating," he tells me, "You keep using the hook. That's cheating. Stop cheating. G`dam it."

He's cute as he struggles his hardest to win the next round. I watch as he leans up so far off the couch that I swear he's about to hop off of it. He groans in the sexiest way when he realizes that he's lost again.

He slams the remote down, damn near breaking it.

"Yo man. What the fuck?"

"My fault. I'm a little competitive."

This motherfucker was crazy...slamming my shit around and shit. If it was anyone else I would have punched him right in his face. Meech was lucky he was cute as fuck. Instead of getting mad I just pick up the remote and lay it on the box.

"It's all good," I state, "It's getting kind of...hot in here."

I take off my shirt at that moment. I do the shit on purpose. After all those years of working out I want Meech to see what I'm working with. I'm shocked when he doesn't even look at my chest. He just stares blankly at the screen as though seeing the PS4 background is more interesting than me. I've had straight guys in my life who paid me more attention with my shirt off. I mean I was sexy. I knew I was. I had this built chest. I had six pack abs. I was bulky in all the right places. My arms were nice and solid.

When I realize he isn't looking at me I realize that hell, maybe he isn't gay. It just can't be though. With an ass like that...

"You want to play another round?" he asks me.

"Actually I was just trying to chill for a minute," I suggest, "If that's OK with you. Shit's changed a lot since I've been locked up. You were a kid when I went to jail. You were damn near a teenager man, running around getting on Kenyatta's nerves."

"Not much has changed," he tells me, "I was going to tell Kenyatta you were trying to get with her, but you know...shit happened so..."

"No of course. I'm not even about that..."

Kenyatta wasn't anything that I wanted right now. Wrong Buchanan.

"You sure about that?" he asks me raising an eyebrow, "You seemed real interested before man. I could have sworn that Kenyatta was dating your boy Red too."

"Red is not my boy."

"Oh Ok, well Kenyatta is running around town. She is paranoid as fuck after they took our family. She thinks it has something to do with her. She's been hanging out with those Bakersfield boys. Me and her had an argument about it."

I shake my head, "Are you mad she's running with boys from Bakersfield now?"

"Fuck Bakersfield," Meech says, "I'm going to kill every last one of them."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because they killed my family."

I swallow my spit. I ran with the Bakersfield guys too. I just came out of jail but I knew Tonio. Tonio wouldn't have put a hit out on a fucking family. He wasn't some moral person or anything like that but he had a code. There were certain things you just didn't do. Killing a pregnant woman was one of them. No matter what beef Tonio may have had with anyone he wouldn't have killed the Buchanan family.

I sit next to Meech on the couch. The space in between us seems so far. I couldn't be closer. I kick my hand up behind him. The back of my finger tips are right behind him. A part of me wish he would just slide right into my arms at this moment.

"What makes you so sure the Bakersfield boys killed your family?" I ask him.

"Who else would it be? Those motherfuckers been beefing with us for the longest. It was probably a random hit. I don't know. Maybe Kenyatta got in some shit with them. I don't know. She won't tell me. She's a dumb bitch. Regardless it don't matter. I'm going to kill those motherfuckers. Ty is floating it around it was that guy Tonio from Bakersfield. Got to take him out."

"Take him out. What you know about taking someone out youngin'?"

"I can pull a trigger. Don't worry about that. With help or without help. I'm good. Still---you think I need help with these guys? You think Ty will help me?"

Ty would love nothing more than to kill guys from Bakersfield.

"I can't read Ty's mind," I lie and clear my throat, "But before you go looking for payback you should probably make sure you are targeting the right person. Listen. I been to jail. It's not a good look. You don't want to go down that path. You hear me?"

"But I would."

I can't help but smile. I give him a light nudge to the shoulder, "Listen a cute boy like you...they would eat you alive in jail. Dudes would be lining up. You don't want that."

"Cute boy?"

Shit. Did I just call this man a cute boy? The words just slip out of my mouth. I feel my cheeks getting red. I'm not darkskinned either so I can't really hide the fact that I'm blushing. What's worse is that Meech is noticing. He's staring at me up and down. For the first time he starts to even notice my muscles. He notices my chest. His eyes are piercing on me studying me. I should like this. I shouldn't be breaking a sweat like this.

But I am. I'm nervous as fuck.

"No homo," I say.

The words just come out of my mouth. I want to punch myself in the fucking face. Who says that? I just gave this dude a compliment. He was actually checking me out for a second and instead of using that to my advantage I decide to fucking say "No homo"? Really Lopez? This was HOMO! Dumbass. This was very much a HOMO situation.

Meech pulls away from me with an uncomfortable laughter, "Of course man. No homo. Can I have another drink? A little stronger?"

I nod. I feel so fucking dumb. I make Meech a strong drink. It's pure alcohol. Before I can even sit it down he drinks it. After a few seconds I go get another one but just leave the bottle out front. I watch as he drinks it.

"Don't get fucked up on me now..." I state.

"It's OK. I trust you," he tells me, "I need relieve some stress anyway. You know what I mean? I got an idea. Yo. Let's put on some music. Pass me my phone. I like that new Drake. Bounce that shit like Whoa...Bounce that shit like...oh my bad is that homo?"

I'm watching this boy stand in front of me and bounce his ass. He doesn't do it in a gay way. He's not twerking or anything. He's just bouncing his ass up and down to the beat a little bit in a masculine kind of way. I'm watching his hips and struggling not to stare at that fat ass. He isn't trying to move it! It's almost like the ass has a mind of it's own or something.

"You shouldn't..." I reply, struggling to close my eyes and stare away.

He laughs as though I'm joking. I'm so serious. He's sexy as fuck and my dick is hard as fuck just being close to him. I want to tear that sexy ass up. I can't go out like a little bitch.

After the first few songs come on he takes another drink. I can tell he's getting tipsy but so am I. I move closer to him sliding across the chair. I'm in his personal space before I know it. I have to make my move! I have to make my fucking move NOW! I probably wouldn't get another chance to do the shit.

"Wait um...so are you...I mean...do you get down...um..."

"Do I get down? What you mean?"

"Um..."

Fuck. This was so fucking hard. I wasn't like this. I was a Casanova. My name was gold in these streets. Jail hadn't changed me. Ever since I came out of jail I had people throwing panties and boxers at me left and right. What the fuck was the difference with this boy? What about him made me so tongue tied? Why couldn't I just ask him if he was gay?

"Listen I when I approached you it wasn't really about Kenyatta. Real talk: I don't give a fuck about your sister. I mean. She was cool, back in the day. Like you said she's dating Red now. She's running around with the Bakersfield guys. God knows what she's getting into. Regardless I don't care. I was wondering. Uh. What's up with you?"

"I'm just chilling. Family got murdered and what not."

"No. That's not what I mean," I struggle.

"Then what do you mean?"

"I mean..." I slide towards him, "What's up with you...and me..."

Meech swallows his spit at that moment, "Wait are you trying to..."

He stops talking because we are interrupted at that moment.

Just at that moment there is a knock on the door. Great. This was exactly what the fuck I needed in my life right about now. I look at the door.

"You going to go get it?" he asks me.

"I'll be right back."

I get up off the couch and move towards the door. I open the door at that moment and I'm surprised to see Yusef standing behind it. Yusef looks me up and down. He has that look of desire in his eyes. He's just staring at me like I'm something to eat when he sees me without a shirt on answering the door.

"God bless prison," he says, "If every dude turned out like this after being locked up I'd be willing to go to jail for a few."

Yusef slides his hands down my chest at that moment. It's clear he's thirsting after me at this moment. It's clear that he wants me. If this was any other day I would have been all down to bend Yusef over and give him what he wanted real quick. This was different. Meech was in the picture now. Things had changed.

"Now's not a good time."

"You got company?" he asks.

"Something like that," I respond.

Yusef rolls his eyes, "Relax. I'm not even here for dick. Believe it or not, I have to talk to you about something. I saw something. Something serious."

"Listen go tell your man. I don't give a fuck."

"My man?"

"Oh come on. You are with Ty. It's obvious. The boys probably even see it. They probably just too scared to say something about it. It's clear the two of you are together."

Yusef shakes his head.

"Fine. Ok. It's not like you care anyway."

"You right."

He was really really right. I didn't care. I was trying to wrap this up and get back to Meech. That's where I wanted to spend my time right now. Listening to Yusef and his bullshit wasn't exactly what I had in mind to deal with tonight. He had Ty to help him with that shit. I could give a fuck less what Yusef had to tell me that was so fucking important. I'd gone years without hearing anything important from Yusef. Why should tonight be any different?

"Listen. I know me and you aren't on that level," Yusef explained, "I know nothing ever really happened but I'm kind of concerned about something. I don't know what to do. I just need some advice man. Honestly you're the only one who I can trust."

"Yusef. That sucks bro. I just don't give a fuck," I explain shaking my head, "I mean. Shit sounds bad. I know but look at my face man. Study it real hard and long. See how many fucks I give? You notice how blank this facial expression is. That's because I have no fucks to give yo."

"Yo you fucked up," Yusef says.

"That's what I been trying to tell you. You just a fuck. I'm not trying be rude but you jump-offs need to learn your place. You text me. You don't just show up at the house. You don't fucking do that."

"Who got you acting so hype?" he asks.

I didn't notice I was hype. Maybe I was. I just didn't want Meech finding out about Yusef.

Out of no where a voice calls out from the living room.

"Hey! LOPEZ, you got any other games?" Meech screams.

Yusef's expression at that moment is priceless. Meech is drunk. He's clearly loud and slurs his words a little bit as he talks. I can almost see Yusef looking pissed at that moment.

"Under the TV!" I state.

Silence follows. Yusef and I are having a standoff.

"Yo. Is that my fucking little cousin? Please...please fucking tell me you don't got my little fucking cousin in your living room."

"He's not so little. Trust me."

"Yo I swear to God yo."

Yusef tries to rush past me. I grab him and push him outside. I close the door behind me and follow him down the steps on the front patio. Yusef looks pissed at that moment.

"So that's who you were playing me for?" Yusef asks, "You were fucking playing me for my little fucking cousin?"

Yusef's voice is breaking up. Yusef is emotional right now. I swear to God this dude is emotional. I shouldn't be surprised. This isn't the first person that I've fucked that got addicted to the dick and just got super emotional out of no where.

"You crying?" I ask him.

This motherfucker was crying! Like seriously crying. Why the fuck wasn't he going to his boyfriend with this shit. Why the fuck was he at my doorstep? I just didn't give a fuck. I'm staring at him and just shaking my head. No. I just wanted interested. I wasn't the slightest bit interested.

"I needed you..."

"And I told you...go need someone else," I explain to him, "I'm not trying to be a dick but listen. This emotional stuff isn't going to happen again. I'm not interested in you in that way Yusef. I'm not a shoulder to cry on. I'm just not. I like your cousin. That's who I'm trying to get to know. I assumed you could handle some hookups but now I see that's not the case."

"Man fuck you."

"That's the problem. You won't be fucking me any longer," I explain, "Or should I say...I won't be fucking you."

Yusef goes from sad to just straight up angry. I know the stage. He's trying to get back at me at this point.

"You think I want to fuck you?" Yusef asks, "I have Ty. And you're lame. Ty's going to give me everything. Including his big ass fucking dick."

"Well then go get it. Why the fuck you here at my door? Crying and shit? Go to Ty."

"He runs these streets. And you ain't shit but a lil nigga. That's why your son used to call him Daddy..."

My heart drops.

Yusef didn't go there. My heart is beating faster and faster. I never mentioned my son. After what happened with my son this motherfucker had the nerve to fucking speak on him. I walk up to Yusef and yoke him up. I want to beat his ass so bad right now.

"Yo...if you weren't Meech's cousin I would kill you right here. You understand me?" I ask him.

"Stay away from my fucking cousin," Yusef tells me, "That's a warning."

"What the fuck you going to do if I don't?"

"Don't test me..."

"Oh I'll test you alright. School's in session. So get off my property before I run in the house and pull the chopper out on your bitch ass. You ain't no thug. You just get fucked by one. Don't try to act tough anymore."

"You fucking with the wrong one."

"No I'm not. And hey...Yusef? Don't worry about your little cousin from now on. He's in good hands. Daddy's got him."

Yusef is flaming. The fact that he brought up my son was off limits. It was a low blow. Whatever issues we had between us were issues between us. Bringing up my son was below anything that Yusef could have ever done. I'm so pissed when I walk in the house that I'm shaking for a few minutes. I can't believe I allowed Yusef to get under my skin like that.

I never mentioned my son to Yusef.

That meant that Ty mentioned my son to him. That was pissing me off even more. I shake my head and go into the living room.

Ty was going to die for what happened with my son all those years ago.

And I was going to be the one to make sure he went down.

Him and his pussy ass boyfriend.

"Meech you around? Sorry it took me so long..."

I go in the living room and see Meech. He's laying there. He's sleeping. He's balled up in a fetal position. He looks cute as fuck. He's passed out. He has the liquor bottle in his hand. I can't help at that moment. I get up at that moment and lift Meech up.

I take Meech to my bedroom and lay him down in my bed. I cover him up with my covers. I don't ever let guys sleep in my bed. Meech was different though. He was special. Something about him was just special and I was going to figure it out.

I think about sleeping out on the couch but then I figure what's the harm in sharing a bed with the guy. I roll up at that moment.

~

The next morning comes quicker than I expect. I have a dream about fucking the SHIT out of Meech. I know it's just a dream but I wake up dripping with precum with a hard dick. I turn to my right and I realize that Meech is balled up next to me. He doesn't have ANY CLOTHES ON! I look over at Meech and I'm damn near about to bust a nut just from being this close to him.

"Oh shit..." I state.

I wake him up. He slides away from me a little bit. He manages to slide right on his stomach and looks at me. His butt is just resting right face up like that.

"My fault," he says at that moment, "I sleep naked. I was drunk. I thought I was in my own bed. Just a habit man. My fault."

I swallow my spit hard, "I don't mind." I look down at my hard dick and shrug when Meech notices it, "Habit."

Meech surprisingly reaches over and grabs my dick at that moment.

"Habit," he whispers at me.

I can't take it anymore. I start kissing Meech as hard as I can. I don't care about morning breath. Man I don't care about much of anything when I'm kissing him. He kisses back hard as fuck. Our tongues mash up against one another. He grabs me by my waist and pulls me into him. I put him on the bed and grind up against him. I'm dry humping him because all my clothes are on. His tight hole is peeping at me from underneath my crotch.

I slide my dick out of my boxer shorts. Meech takes a look at it.

"Damn yo. You big as fuck. Give me that dick. Where's the condoms..."

I struggle to move for my condom drawer. With one hand I can see that there is only one condom left. One condom. I had bought a brand new box since I came out of prison and there was only one left. What the fuck?

I look at it for a second and then I just stop. I get off of him, "I ran out..."

"Damn..."

He gets off me and sits up, "I can't..."

"It's OK. I'm interested in more than just sex with you..." I explain to him.

Dudes don't say things like that on my block. Thugs don't say things like that to other men on my block especially. It never really happens. So when I tell Meech that I can understand his expression. He looks at me as though I'm trying to sell him air. Then he studies my expression. He can see that I'm not fucking with him. I want more than just a fuck with him.

I want more.

"Like...a ... date or something?" he asks me.

"I'd like to go on a date with you," I explain, "Yeah. That's it. That's what I want. Damn. Been so long that I damn near forgot what the fuck one of those things are called."

"That would be nice but...I still can't fuck you raw."

I'm confused.

"Why not Meech?"

"Years ago I got raped by someone. It was then that I realized that something was different," Meech explains to me.

I'm so confused, "Something like what?"

"Lopez. I'm HIV Positive," Meech tells me.

TO read the next chapter go to www.crushedcrown.com