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Chapter 13

Madness

We were at the hospital. I walked into the room that the rest of the Vanities were. Half were worreid and the other half was pissed. Roman was amongst the pissed side though with Vice and Nima. Barka, Jamie and Neiman seemed to be more worried about Uncle Jory.

The police officer grabbed the boy, picking up his head, “Tell us everything you know.”

“I told you.”

“TELL US AGAIN!” Roman barked.

“Relax Roman, he's here to help,” Jamie stated.

I turned over to where Jamie was. There was a reason Jamie was defending this person. It was Lombardi. He was standing there holding himself as though it was cold in the hospital. A lot had happened in the past few hours since we came home. We had expected to meet Uncle Jory but instead we found Lombardi at the house with a long explanation of what had gone down when we were gone.

Lombardi shook his head, “It had started with the Havoks. Rook Havok and his brothers approached us...”

“Who is us?” Roman asked.

“Just me and Xo. The older Crystals weren't involved. It was just on some 'lets start pull a prank' type shit. That's ALL it was supposed to be. It was a dumb ass prank cause the Vanities were out of town. Then all of a sudden they started throwing bricks and shit. Like I was just surprised! I didn't want no parts of all that! I thought we were just going to fling some toilet paper and some regular stuff like that. I told XO to leave but he was pissed at AJ so he stuck around. One thing led to another they went inside the house. I only went into pull XO so we could get the hell out of there. Then we saw the old man. He was already in a coma. I swear to you. He was already in a coma. They just started running after that. They just took off...”

Roman was pissed.

I could look at his face and I could tell by Lombardi's expression that he saw how pissed Roman was too. I looked over at Neiman he was standing close to Roman. I think he was thinking exactly what I was thinking.

“So wait...wait let me get this right,” Roman stated, “You attacked my house? You vandalized my home and then they left my father for dead.”
“I didn't...that was them,” Lombardi stated, “I called the cops..”

“If it wasn't for him, no one would have known Uncle Jory was in the coma,” Jamie stated shaking his head.

“You want us to thank him?” Roman asked.

The way Roman looked at Jamie made me nervous. I didn't know why Jamie always felt like he had to say something especially at times like this. Roman was pissed and he had a right to be. Jamie always had to calm people down and fix things. Some times that was great but sometimes it was ok to just let someone lose their mind.

Maybe Roman would have burned himself out but Jamie seemed to be flaming the fire.

“I'm saying Lombardi isn't the enemy,”

“This FUCKER vandalized our home?” Roman stated.

Vice stood by his man almost like a guard dog, “Jamie you've completely lost it. You want us to kiss this kid's ass? Uncle Jory is in a coma. You don't know what state they found him in.”

“The doctors said he is dying Vice...”

“And your faggot ass ex boyfriend won't let my father die in peace. They attack his home that he worked hard to provide for us. And you have the fucking NERVE to defend him Jamie? You have the fucking nerve.”

“Jamie you really did cross the line,” Nima agreed.

They were ganging up on him. I could tell. I felt bad for Jamie. It was clear he was cornered against the wall in this one. I just wished he had kept his mouth shut. Barka who usually tried to look on Jamie's side wasn't even jumping in this one. She was sitting away from the rest of us with tears in her eyes. I think she was thinking but Uncle Jory in that coma.

“I swear we didn't do nothing to that man,” Lombardi shook his head, “I told them.”

“SHUT the fuck up faggot!”

The voice was booming from Roman. He had jumped up to his feet immediately and Nima jerked back away from him. I had never seen Roman look so evil. His eyes were wide and veins were coming out of his neck. There were tears in his eyes but they didn't fall down. They just made his eyes seem red and watery. His fists were clenched.

He was like a whole different person now. All he could see was red.

“Sit down boy,” the cop stated looking over at Roman.

Roman just stood there. I could tell he didn't give a damn about this cop. He was past this point. His aggression was clear though. People in the hospital had even turned to look at him. “

I had to say something, “They will get what they deserve Roman...we have to stay strong for my uncle.”

“No fuck THAT!” Roman said not even looking at me, “I'm tired of seeing my fucking family in this hospitals. I'm about to start putting these motherfuckers in hospitals!”

He was shaking. I felt so scared for him. He looked like he was just about to lose it. He looked like he was about to snap and the tension was so heavy that I could feel my heart beating.

“You can go to jail for threatening people,” the cop stated, “You want to go to jail huh? You want me to lock you up right now.”
Jamie shook his head, “No. He's going to calm down.”

“Jamie you are fucking sellout, I swear,” Vice stated, “You better choose soon bro. If you want to stay in this family you better choose if you want that faggot or you want us.”

“Are you threatening me?” Jamie asked Vice.

“All I'm saying is when the old man dies, it's going to be either me or Roman running this. And the way I see it you are loyal to everyone else but your family. You defending this faggot who attacked your FAMILY.”

“Vice your making this worse,” I finally stated.

It was clear what Vice was doing. He was amping Roman up and Roman was really already too amped up. We had to be calming him down right now.

Nima surprisingly backed me up, “We need to stop letting these people tear us apart. Right now our concern needs to be making sure Father Jory is ok.”

The cop hadn't taken his eyes off of Roman. I could tell the cop was just as nervous about what Roman was going to do like the rest of us. I couldn't believe Vice was just making this worse. I felt so bad for Jamie as he was sitting there. They weren't looking the same sat all. Not too long ago him and Roman had gotten into it but now they were back at it. Roman backed down after what Nima stated though. He sat down.

Jamie turned his head to the cop, “Can't we arrest the people who broke into the house? Lombardi will tell you everything.”

“Whoa...I don't want anyone getting arrested,” Lombardi stated.

“Oh really?” Vice stated.

I wanted to just scream at Lombardi. Did he not see Roman's eyes? He was surrounded by Vanities and he had the nerve to play

Jamie shook his head, “Lombardi the Crystals and the Havoks attacked our house.”

“Well fine. I'll point out all the Havoks. XO had nothing to do with it then.”

“You just said he did.”

“I take it back. I was under distress-”

“Distress? Huh?” Roman laughed, “Listen good, fuck boy. You hear me? All of you bitches are fucking done. The Havoks AND the Crystals are mine now...”

I couldn't believe he was threatening him like this. The cop was itching at Roman. I could tell something was going to happen but I wasn't sure what yet.

“Calm down,” Jamie stated, “I don't want anyone arrested or...”

Lombardi nodded in, “Jamie you support your family and so do I. All I know is XO is innocent--”

Lombardi hadn't even finished talking before he shouted a little bit. I hadn't saw what he was doing but I realized that Roman had hoped up and jumped over his seat!

Neiman tried to stop him but it was too late. Roman's leg up as if he was pushing down on a brake or something. I thought he was going to push Lombardi's chair but his leg raised up even higher. When he stepped down he had stepped right into Lombardi's chest.

The boy let out the most pathetic squeal that I had ever heard in my life.

He fell on the floor squeeling in pain.

Jamie had jumped up and actually pushed Roman away from Lombardi and just as he did that the police officer grabbed Roman and tried to cuff him.

“Faggot!” a voice screamed out.

It was Vice!

Vice followed up fright after Roman and attacked Lombardi. He grabbed Lombardi and was punching him. He was hitting him hard on the floor. Lombardi was trying to protect himself but it was clear that he got the wind knocked out of him by Roman.

The cop jumped off of Roman and instead went over to tackle Vice instead.

“Get the fuck out of here,” I grabbed onto Roman and pushed him towards the door.

His eyes were still seeing red but he actually surprisingly listened! He turned and booked it out of the door at that moment. My heart was beating fast. Neiman and I were looking at each other wondering what the hell just happened.

The cop had tackled Vice now and was now putting Vice in handcuffs.

Truth was I didn't even feel bad. Vice had instigated the entire thing and he actually had the nerve to attack Lombardi once Lombardi was actually on the ground.

“What the fuck are we?” Jamie was screaming, “Are we the Havoks now? What the fuck is the matter with you. If Father Jory saw you right now.”

“Fuck you, sell out!” Vice spit at Jamie.

I was surprised he actually had the audacity to do that. I actually wanted to stand up for Jamie and swing at Vice my damn self. He was such a BITCH.

Jamie shook his head, “Officer, can you please let him go. We just been through a lot. We just want to talk it out.”
“He's going to jail,” the officer stated.

“He just was off his mind a little bit.”

“Off his mind?” Lombardi asked shaking his head, “There you are again, choosing your family over me. He just spat on you. And you still choose the Vanities over me.”

Jamie put his hands on his head.

It was too late. Vice was getting arrested. No matter how many long Jamie pleaded it was pointless. We watched helplessly as the guy the police officer took a handcuffed Vice away. It was almost like something had just exploded in the hospital.

“What are we going to do now Jamie?” Nima asked.

Jamie was pacing back and forth. We were all looking at him for answers honestly. I didn't know what to say. I looked down at Lombardi. He was still holding onto his chest when Roman had stepped him. He was bleeding out of his mouth too probably from the punches. A nurse had come over and was trying to tend to him. He was lucky it was convenient enough for him to be in a hospital.

I shook my head, “Look, Roman's eyes had something in there. He is dangerous right now. He's going to go do something crazy...”

Barka shook her head, “I knew this would happen. Once Father Jory dies this house is going to fall apart. We all are going to fall apart. Jory was the glue. Jory was the only thing keeping us together. Without him we fall apart.”

“I won't let that happen,” Jamie stated, “We all need to calm down and be reasonable ok?”

Nima shook his head, “Jamie, I mean I can't feel bad, cause trust me if I wasn't pregnant I'll be trying to get at that boy too. This is war now...”

“That's exactly what you can't think. We are NOT a gang. We are NOT the Havoks. I won't allow us to disintegrate and be that.”

“It's too late.”

Nima wasn't having it. Her, Vice and Roman were definitely the hot heads in the group. It had always been clear. He pregnancy had slowed her down but it hadn't stopped her by far.

Jamie looked so hopeful. I didn't understand how he could be after Roman and Vice had just ganged up on him and basically beat up his ex boyfriend right in front of his eyes. It was clear by the way he was standing over Lombardi in a protective manner that he still had some sort of feelings for this kid.

Jamie stated, “We need to AJ you are the best chance at calming Roman down. I need you to go find him. He probably went to the shore. You can take my truck. Nima I'll need you and Neiman to call Father Jory's lawyer. We need to get Vice out of jail. Barka I need you to go look after Father Jory. I don't want him alone. I'll join you once I make sure Lombardi is ok.”

I nodded and got Jamie's keys from him.

I could look at the others and just tell that no one was ok with this.

I found myself on the shore. I was thinking heavily on Uncle Jory. What if he died before I got a chance to tell him what happened to my mother? I coudln't believe he was in a coma. The anger the Vanities was feeling was because of him. I could tell immediately. There was a sense of stability that they had with Uncle Jory. Uncle Jory had given them that house.

Violating that house was more than just violating property. The Crystals and the Havoks had violated the very stability that Uncle Jory had given them.

It was no wonder they were lashing out.

I drove around for hours at night. I tried all the spots that I'd seen Roman hang out before. I was so worried about him. He was violent now. He was thinking right. If he didn't care if a cop was there then he definitely didn't give a damn about anything else. He was a wild cannon out here. I was just looking for a motorcycle or something. Not that many people were on the shore at this time of night. I actually made it my mind to park Jamie's truck and start walking.

I was walking up and down the beach.

The beach was dark and it was cold at night. More thoughts of Roman came into mind. Thoughts of Vice came into mind. They had a bond. They argued like hell but Vice was so willing to back Roman up. He had basically attacked Lombardi immediately after Roman. They didn't ask any questions. It kind of made me jealous that they had that connection even as negative as the results were.

I couldn't compare to that...

Was someone following me?

“Hello?” I asked in the darkness.

I turned around. I could have sworn I saw a shadow behind me and I heard footsteps. I could have sworn the footsteps were behind me but it was so dark at night.

I didn't want to turn back around.

I started walking backwards.

There was DEFINITELY someone there and the person was hiding now. I was so damn sure of it. I had to get inside somewhere. The eerie feeling was so strong.

I made my way to the bar on the shore that I had chilled with Roman when I first got to Captiva Island. The bar was pretty backed surprisingly. It was almost as though there was an event going on or something. I opened the door and looked around.

There were a lot of gay guys there. It was karaoke and there was some horrible singer that echoed on the microphone singing some Trey Songz. A lot of guys were standing around listening. Some were dancing in the front near the singer.

I looked over at the bar and saw the lady. I remembered her name as Irma.

“Look who it is...”

I turned around to see a familiar face. It was a tall, skinny latino kid with tats and a sneaky ass little smile. I had to admit he was attractive in a thug kind of way. He couldn't be a model or wasn't a heartthrob of any sorts but had that kind of Lil Wayne attractiveness where somehow you could still see yourself thinking he was a little bit sexy.

“You are a Havok right?” I asked him.

“Rook Havok,” he said and smiled shaking his head, “I'm glad you remember me baby.”

He actually grabbed my hand and his hand around me. He pulled me close. I looked behind him and saw that his friends were standing behind us watching from a distance. Some of them were snickering or something like that.

I shook his hand off, “Get off me bra...”

“I'm sorry. You got a fat ass...I'm trying to see what's up with me and you...”

“You vandalized my house and left my uncle for dead in a coma,” I shook my head my entire face turning almost red with anger, “You got to be fucking kidding me.”

He licked his lips.

“Oh so that bitch-made Lombardi snitched on us,” Rook Havok stated and took a few steps closer to me, “You cute as hell though baby. You know it wasn't personal.”

“Yeah... and I'm not here for you. I'm here looking for my brother.”

“Ya kill me with that brother shit. A gay house is not a family,” Rook replied.

“You are a gang. Right?”

He laughed and shook his head.

“All I'm saying is no one fucks with the Havoks for a reason,” Rook said smiling with a toothy grin.

“I don't think anyone in my house is afraid,” I said.

I don't know what had come over me. I was surrounded by the goddam Havoks. Truth was I didn't care. I was pissed at what they had done. They had spray painted that entire house and broke the windows. It would cost a fortune to replace that.

I shook my head looking over at him.

“Oh you not afraid of me?”

He took a step closer to me cornering me. His arms stretched around me and blocked me from moving away from him. He wasn't that much bigger than me but he felt like he was.

“No where close to be afraid.”

He smiled laughed and looked over at the bar, “Irma...Irma let me get two gin and tonics for me and my new boyfriend.”

“I'll kill myself before I'll be yours.”

He laughed.

I rolled my eyes and looked away. This guy was lucky as hell that Roman wasn't here. I would definitely have Roman's back if he decided to attack them. I understood what Jamie stated though. We weren't a gang. We weren't like the Havoks. Even now Rook couldn't talk to me man on man. He had to have his hoodlums behind him gawking at me as they were his testicles or something. It was like he needed them around to be brave.

I shook my head. I didn't want to be like that but then again I wanted to support Roman like Vice had supported Roman.

“Here,” he said giving me a drink, “Peace offering.”

I shook my head, “I don't want your peace. Give your peace to the other Vanities and we will be cool.”

He smiled, “No problem. I have no issues with them.”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Yeah. As long as no one steps out of pocket. Let's toast to new beginnings.”

He clapped his glass against mine. I could see the way he was looking at me. I drank to it though knowing damn well that he was probably just saying this so I could have sex with him. It was clear even right after the toast by how he reached his hand behind me.

He actually grabbed my ass squeezing it tight, so tight that I groaned heavily and pushed away.

Rook spent the next several minutes bullshitting. He wasn't really talking about anything in general. I could tell he wasn't the most educated guy in the world. He kept touching his crotch, pulling at it like I was supposed to find that sexy.

I rolled my eyes at him,

“Look I got ...I got to go,” I said finding myself sleepy from just being there.

“So are we good?”
“I mean like I said. You apologize to Roman and Jamie and the others nad we will be cool.”

He shook his head, “I'm trying to be cool with you...”

“What?”

He grabbed my hand. It was quick and I felt a little dizzy when I felt something warm. I hadn't even noticed until I felt my hands in his pants. He was holding my hand there on his dick. He kept trying to force my hand deeper and deeper in.

I was finally able to move away but barely . It was like all my strength was leaving out of my body.

“I got to go,” I stated.

My tongue felt heavy as I said it.

“You ok?”

“I”m...I'm...fine...”I stated.

I moved away from him quickly though. I wasn't find. I could barely even move my hand away from his crotch. I felt dizzy. It was like I could tell what was going on but I wasn't really controlling my body anymore. My body was so damn heavy and slow.

I made my way out of the crowded bar and into the street looking frantically for Jamie's truck. Truth was I didn't even know how I could drive because it was getting real bad. It was like someone had tied bricks to my hands and feet.

I dragged myself into the street.

Suddenly I heard the voices behind me, “Where you going baby?”

It was Rook. He had a cocky little smile on his face. Right next to him was his friends. I believed they had to be Havoks as well. There were maybe five of them including Rook. Two came up forward with Rook and the other two seemed to be falling behind for some reason away from sight.

“Why the fuck are you following me?” I asked.

I could barely say the words though.

“You said you wanted to go home with us,” one of the boys said. It wasn't even Rook.

Rook just laughed, “Naw that's my baby...”

“We share nigga,” the one said.

“Aw aight. But I get to hit first...”

Shivers were running through my body. I wanted to call out but my mouth felt so fucking numb. It was like someone had just tied my tongue or something. My eyes stayed open but just barely as I quickly made my way away from them.

I felt drunk but I just had one drink and it was just about 20 minutes ago. What the fuck was wrong with me.

“Did you...drug me?” I asked.

I called back but I was still walking away from them. Where the fuck was Jamie's truck?

There was laughter at that moment.

“Yo baby, you don't remember. You said you want me to slip a pill in your drink when you wasn't looking,” Rook was saying in a smart ass way like I was some sort of fool.

“He said he wanted us to fuck him raw...and nut in dat ass.”

I wanted to run at that point. These guys didn't even look the least bit clean or safe. They looked like they had some shit. Rook was the only one that was even a little bit attractive and he still looked suspect.

They had caught up to me. Rook had grabbed my face and was kissing me. Another guy had grabbed my ass and was squeezing it. He was making for his pants.

I heard the zipper and I began to panic.

“Get the fuck off me.”

I turned around looking where we were. Everyone was outside the bar. There was one or two people far down the block but they weren't even paying attention. I couldn't see much further. I was too weak to keep turning my head.

“Yo he got a bomb ass,” Rook said, “His shit is tight too. Not like that other bitch ass Vanity. What was that pussy's name? Vice. He loved the dick.”

I felt a finger in my ass. I didn't know whose finger it was but it was big and stiff and it hurt. I squirmed in pain. There was drool coming out of my mouth. My whole face had grown numb. I almost wanted to cry for myself because my mind was still active. I wished I would have just lost consciousness but I couldn't. I felt everything but I couldn't stop it.

Rook was still talking. He had to be drunk. He was too excited.

Someone was touching my legs.

Someone was pulling at my pants trying to get them off.

I felt spit and more fingers.

Blood.

More fingers...

These fingers were touching me. These fingers were violating me.

And they wouldn't stop. There was laughter.

Fingers.

Blood.

“Yo, you gon give me that ass. I been looking at you for a long time AJ. I seen you at your birthday party. You don't pay me no attention. You thought you was too good for this dick huh? You always wit Jamie and Badass. They some pretty boys. I'ma fuck the shit out of you.”

There was blood on his finger.

It was my blood. It was on Rooks finger. Someone else was kissing on the back of my neck. I feel the foulness on the back of my neck.

I was being raped...

And then all of a sudden gun shots... in the dark.

I felt like I was dying.

Then there was complete black.

I always thought heaven was all white castles floating on clouds. I didn't have to walk anywhere because I'd have wings and I could fly. The image of what heaven was always seemed so perfect, but in a stupor I oculd have sworn heaven was remade.

Heaven was Roman. Roman's face floated amongst white clouds. He looked down at me and smiled and was there with me.

I felt something cold.

“Stick with me! You ok?” he stated, “It's wearing off...”

I turned my eyes. It wasn't heaven. I was really here with Roman. He was looking at me. I was in a tub. The cold shower water was flowing over me. The shower curtain was open and Roman was peering down on me. He had a bucket in one hand and a towel in the other.

I shook my head, “Where am I?'

My head was throbbing. I still could barely talk.

“You are home,” he said, “I got to you just in time.”

“In time for what?”

“Those fucking Havoks were going to gang you,” he told me, “They were going to group fuck you in the back of some dirty ass alley.”

Roman wasn't holding back.

I looked down. I was basically naked. I was in my underwear but that was all and my underwear were white and had become so opaque that I might as well have not been wearing anything. Roman was fully dressed looking down on me. I realized that I was in his bathroom which was attached to his room. I was completely surprised by this.

“You saved me?” I asked.

He nodded his head, “That saved you...”

He was nodding over at a pistol that was sitting at the basin of his faucet.

“You shot at them.”

“Hell yeah,” he said, “I think I hit one of those bitches too. They are roaches. All of them. They scattered like some roaches. I wasn't going to let them attack you. Are you kidding me. You are one of the closest people to me.”

I didn't know what to think. How could I have put myself in the position for this to happen? I hadn't known the Havoks but this was beyond what I thought they were capable of. They had drugged me. They were going to rape me.

“I don't want you to use any guns though,” I told him.

He put his hand on me.

At first he put his hand on my shoulder and then he slowly brought it up to my face. His face got real pale.

“Jamie was an idiot for sending you after me. I got a call from him. He told me he sent you to the shore to find me. I knew where you'd go first. Luckily I was right. If I had been any later. I would have lost you and I don't want to lose you...”

He was crying.

I didn't understand it first. I was strong enough to reach out to him and grab his hand.

“Roman what's wrong?”

“My whole world is crumbling. I'm on the edge and I will kill to save the good things in my life. And I will kill all of them. You get me? I'm not a punk. I'm not a pussy. You see now what FAGGOTS are capable of and how far they'd go. If I had the perfect world Jory wouldn't be dying of AIDS. He such a good soul. In the perfect world my sister Nima wouldn't be a girl a pregant girl with no idea who the father is. My brother Neiman wouldn't want to kill himself. Jaime wouldn't have to sacrifice love and Barka would be happy being who she is. In a perfect world I wouldn't be so fucking obsessed with someone who I knew wasn't the one for me. This isn't a perfect world. That's why I'm carrying steel.”

“What about me?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You mentioned what you wanted for everyone but not for me.”

Roman smiled, “You already know. You wouldn't have had to deal with your parents dead and your uncle dying. You wouldn't have known a man named Biggie. You would have had real love in your world. Who knows? In a perfect world, I'd be completley over Vice because I'd be falling in love with you. I guess that part gives me some sort of hope though...”