Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 00:24:44 EST
From: DefJamMariah85@aol.com
Subject: When Souls Fly Free chpt 12

Terell stood there in total shock as he read the letter...

Dear Alice,

I don't even know where to begin, by now you may have taken one look at
this letter and thrown it away and I don't blame you. I am writing to you
because not because I want to be back in your life but into our son
Terell's. I wish I could undo everything I did, I was a fool and I am
paying for it. But worst of all our son paid for it too. I know this may
seem hard to believe, but I am not doing this out my own selfish guilt, but
for Terell...I need for him to understand that I didn't leave because I
didn't love him, but most of all he needs to understand that and I think he
deserves to know that he didn't do anything wrong.

I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I don't think I could
ever forgive myself. I live everyday knowing the pain I caused you
all. Alice, I don't expect you to even consider contacting me and if you
don't I understand. I am only thinking of our son...something I should have
done along time ago. If this letter never gets to you, I love you both.

Marvin Jackson"

A click was heard as the kitchen door opened with Mrs. Jackson stepping in
hurriedly.

"Hey sweetie I forgot something...do you know where the..."  Mrs. Jackson
paused in her tracks as she saw the look on Terell's face with letter in
hand.

"Did you know about this?!" Terell exclaimed

"Oh my goodness sweetie, I was going to throw that away...I didn`t want to
you find it" Mrs. Jackson replied in disbelief. Terell quickly approached
his mother.

"Who the hell does he think he is huh?!?!?!?!?! thinking he can write a
damn letter like nothing ever happened?"  Terell shouted.

"Terell, I know you're angry but you need to calm down ok?" Mrs. Jackson
said putting her hand on her son's shoulder.

"How can you say that ma? aren't you angry?!?!?!  he fuckin left us!!!!!!"
Terell said crumpling the letter up in his fist and throwing it on the
floor.  Normally Mrs. Jackson would have given her son the lecture of a
lifetime not to mention a smack upside the head for swearing at her against
the way his upbringing taught him but in this situation she had to keep
cool.

"I know baby but please hear me out ok..."  Mrs. Jackson said while
collecting her thoughts, Terell frozen with rage. " Count to ten do you
hear me?"

Terell stood there and counted to ten and soon found himself calming
down...

"Hey that works..." He said reluctantly.

"Look" Mrs. Jackson said she wanted to rip that letter up herself and burn
it 10 thousand times but her better judgment called upon her to set an
example for her son. Terell interrupted her...

" Mama, I think I'm gonna be alright"

"You sure? I will take off work...I don't like this either" Mrs. Jackson
replied. Terell took a deep breath and exhaled.

"You go on ahead, I'm gonna try not to think about this...he don't have to
come back" Terell replied.

"Well...ok...but when we get home we're talking about this ok?"
Mrs. Jackson demanded.

"Yeah" Terell replied looking to the side. "I'm gonna hang out with Marcus
probably". Mrs. Jackson sighed she still had that pang of uncertainty about
Marcus, but was able to keep her mouth shut.

"Ok sweetie, calm down ok?...damn here they were" Mrs.  Jackson exclaimed
as she found the keys to the backstore room from the grocery. " I will be
home around 9 ok?". She kissed Terell on the cheek as he said goodbye to
her. An air of hostility lingered in the air of the Jackson house. Terell
eyed the crumpled up letter as he heard the engine of his mothers car kick
on and the crunch of the tires backing out of the driveway. He walked over
towards the kitchen sink and leaned over it a bit and got lost in
thought. He shook himself out of it and knew he needed Marcus right
then. He picked up the phone and dialed Marcus's number.

"Hello?" Marcus answered.

"Hey babe..." Terell replied.

"Hey baby what's up?, you ok? you don't sound too happy" Marcus answered.

"I'm not...I can't explain right now do you think you can come over?"
Terell asked

"Sure..." Marcus said with concern. "I'll be over in a couple of minutes
ok?". Terell agreed and waited impatiently for Marcus. Relief came as he
heard a knock at the door.

"Thank god you're here" Terell said immediately hugging Marcus. Marcus
stumbled back a bit.

"Hey there watch it Mr. Football!"

"Damn...sorry..." Terell stepped back. "Come on in"

Marcus looked at Terell suspiciously as he stepped in. He could sense
something was up big time. He saw Terell pick up a crumpled piece of paper
off the floor.

"What's this?" Marcus asked.

"This...is what's wrong" Terell said as he plunked the wadded up paper into
Marcus's hand. "If I'm in a bad mood you know why..."

"Mkay..." Marcus replied as he opened up the paper. His jaw dropped as he
read who it was from. " Oh my goodness...I don't know what to say." Marcus
said standing there, then looking to see if Terell was ok. Obviously he was
not...words were not needed at that moment. Marcus tossed the paper onto
their table and without a word he walked over to Terell and gave him a hug.

"We're going to my house ok?" Marcus said taking Terell by the hand.

"Let me get something first is that ok?"  Terell asked. Marcus said yes and
Terell disappeared into his room. He came out with a small cardboard box
and met up with Marcus again.

"I'm ready" Terell said. Marcus took him by the hand and led him out of the
front door. Marcus knew good and well surrounding neighbors could have seen
them holding hands but at this point Marcus was to the point that he didn't
care. They arrived at the front door and Marcus led the way inside.  Terell
wiped his nose as he saw Mr. Grenier sitting on the couch polishing one of
his old fishing poles.  Terell didn't want him to notice anything was
wrong.

"Hello boys how ya doin there!" Mr. Grenier greeted.

"Good dad, Terell is gonna hang out here for a few ok?" Marcus said with
Terell pausing at his side.

"Absolutley"

With that, they headed upstairs as Marcus wondered what the box was...

"What's that" Marcus asked. Terell couldn't help but make a wisecrack
amidst the seriousness.

"Sex toys" Terell replied with half a smile.

" Smartass..." Marcus giggled as he opened the door to his room. Terell
settled himself in the middle of Marcus's floor and began to open the box.

"Come here, I wanna show you something" Terell said. Marcus walked over and
kneeled by Terells side. Marcus saw as Terell pulled out pictures of his
father. "This is him..." Terell said solemnly.  Marcus tried to study the
picture without bursting into tears at the sight of the man that caused the
person he loved so much pain.

"Well...hey...now I know where you get those handsome brown eyes from"
Marcus said knudging Terell lovingly.

"Hehe"...". Terell smirked as he felt his mood lighten up a bit. He wanted
to share these with Marcus, he had become someone special to him, he was
the only person he'd ever trust to show them to...outside his family. They
sifted through photos of Terell when he was little...passing time.

"AHH! look at that little face!!" Marcus said, embarrassing Terell every
chance he got. Marcus hoped the giggling and laughing would last longer,
but a picture of Terell and his father together ended them abruptly. They
both sat there in silence.

"Hehe...ya know...I actually remember taking this picture, I actually
remember the bastard here" Terell said half laughing with a hint of "I hate
him".

"Try and focus on the good times you had with him babe" Marcus said,
rubbing Terells back.

"Times..." Terell said...tears welling up in his eyes.  "Yeah well he
picked a fucking shitty time to leave!!!" Terell sobbed as he eeked out his
words of anger, Marcus pulling him in close to comfort him.  He knew there
were no words to comfort him at the moment.  Terell clenched on tighter as
every ounce of pain left his body through his tears.

"It's ok babe, just let it go...not worth it holding it all inside" Marcus
said softly. Terells grasp...eventually lightened up and loosened. He
pulled back...as his emotions began to simmer down.

"Damn...babe...sorry...I got my boogers all over ya, ya better go change"
Terell said , embarrassed

"Don't you worry babe, you know I don't care" Marcus said taking his shirt
off and going back to his dresser. He pulled out a cotton T shirt and
pulled it over his ivory complexioned torso.  Terell couldn't help himself
but come up behind Marcus and hug him.

"Thank you..."

"You know you're welcome babe" Marcus said, playfully rubbing Terells bald
head.

"Hey, you think I can stay here tonight?" Terell asked.

"I'm sure my folks won't mind" Marcus said. "Let me go downstairs and let
them know you're stayin ok?

"Ok...aw damn I gotta call my mom to tell her I'm here tonight...can I use
your phone? Terell asked.

"Yeah it's cool, I got a separate line anyways, I'll be right back ok?"
Marcus said as he headed downstairs.

Terell picked up the phone and dialed Shelby Grocery.  A click came on the
other line.

"Shelby Grocery this is Alan how may I direct your call?"

"Yes, is Alice Jackson available...this is her son, I need to speak with
her, it's a bit important".  Terell said.

"Her son?...alright...let me see if she's available".  About 2 minutes of
cheesy elevator music passed until another click was heard.

"Hey sweetie!" Mrs. Jackson answered

"Hey mama, it's Terell...I'm calling to let you know I'm stayin over at
Marcus's tonight, I know we planned to talk but, I been doin some thinking
and I'm just not up to it tonight". Terell said

"Oh come on Terell...you know this is important!"  Mrs. Jackson demanded

" I know mama but I need to clear my head for a while so I can be level
headed when we talk, I gotta get my mind off of this for now" Terell said
assertively.

"Oh...alright then...say hi to Marcus for me..." Mrs. Jackson said
reluctantly. " You sure you're ok?"

Terell glanced around Marcus's room...

"Yeah I'm ok....don't worry..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Downstairs, Marcus approached his father to let him know Terell was
staying. You see, in the south, you didn't hardly need permission to have
company over. Mr.Grenier happily agreed, he and Mrs. Grenier both liked
Terell so it was no problem. Just then, the kitchen door opened to the
sight of Mrs. Grenier returning from tending her roses. Her disheveled look
was amusing to Marcus and his father as her hat was tilted to one side with
a dried rose bush leaf dangling off of the brim. She set her gardening
tools aside and took a deep breath.

"AHH...nothing like working on mah roses to lift the spirits and get mah
blood goin!...hey Marcus"

"Hey mama...Terell is stayin here tonight...but I AM COOKING DINNER...you
need to rest ok?" Marcus demanded.

"Oh alrighty..." Mrs. Grenier huffed " But I get to ma-" Her sentence was
cut off by the ringing of the kitchen phone. She dusted off her trousers
and headed towards the phone and picked it up.

" Hello?..."

She gasped.

"Oh yes...uh...this is she...yes...hello doctor!..." A long pause filled
the conversation, sparking Marcus' ears to lead him to the kitchen. The
look on his mothers face concerned him. Mrs. Grenier continued...stuttering
"are..are...are you sure?" she said putting one hand on her
forehead. "Yes...I'm alright...thank you..." She hung up the phone.

"Whats wrong?, what did they say"? Marcus asked.

"Oh..they just said they need to do more blood work nothing serious
yet..don't worry hon" Mrs. Grenier stated...it before dinner and she
couldn't bear to tell anyone what the truth was yet. She had a tumor and
needed to go back to the hospital...

**Hey guys...I some of you were giving me feedback on the chapters being
too far apart....wellll heres one! LOL...with the holidays comin up It'll
be slow again but I will continue it. You know what to do!  hit me up @
DefJamMariah85@aol.com**