This is an actual account of my coming out and beyond. I have changed the names in most cases but some are the same first names and last names have been omitted. If you don’t like male to male sex stories, don’t read it, if you do enjoy… If you have any comments and especially if you feel that the person being described is “you” let me know, I’d be glad to email you back.
by Donn Thomas Donnfla@hotmail.com
The next morning came early for me, if I hadn't been still in Keith's arms I probably could have slept until noon. I slept very soundly, but not long enough, waking up with my head on Keith's shoulder and watching him breath and sleep for a while. He must have had that feeling waking up that he was being watched, I was very still as not to wake him but his eyes just opened and he smiled and said "morning". He got up to relieve himself, and I waited and then did the same, looking for some toothpaste and then doing one of those brush with your finger things.
I got back on the bed and kissed him, he rolled over on top of me and said, "I really enjoyed myself last night", I kissed him again deeper and harder and then said "me too". Keith kissed me again letting his hand roam to my groin exploring. I spread my legs allowing him access to where ever or what ever he wanted. "This felt so right", I thought. His mouth started to trail down in the path of where his hand was and this time I just took the initiative and turned around and positioned myself to take him in my mouth. The sweet smell of morning sweat was on him, slightly salty tasting. His body had a sweet, intoxicating aroma that was adding to my excitement. I just kept taking him in wanting more than anything for him to fill me with his cum, a taste that I think I was starting to form an addiction for. I could feel his cock swelling harder in my mouth and knew it was happening, I was also about to burst. I remember watching his thighs tighten and the muscles of his upper leg being more pronounced while his toes curled. "Oh, shit", there I go, thinking that it was to soon and he was not ready yet. As he drank me in, he started to fill my mouth I kept sucking on him wanting more, trying to get every last drop in me. He started to lose his stiffness, his legs relaxed and I just kept him in my mouth still trying to drain one more drop. He pulled me toward his face and kissed me and said, "you're even good off drugs", and laughed. "We should get up and get some breakfast" he said and added, "I want to take you with me this afternoon, to a friends place in the foothills, do you still want to come?" "Yes, if you want me too", I said. "Damn", I just remembered that I had left my change of clothes at Jim and Ed's house. Keith said that it was O.K., he would stop by there and we could pick them up.
After having breakfast, it was about noon and we headed off to go swimming, we stopped at Jim and Ed's and Ed answered the door and he had his usual devilish smile and warm greeting. Jim on the other hand did not seem as pleased to see us, and asked Keith to come in the other room. The door slammed and there was yelling but I couldn't make out what was being said. Ed saw the look on my face and said "don't worry, he's just a little upset". About what, I wondered, but took Ed's advice and didn't worry about it. After a few minutes, Keith emerged with my clothes and I yelled "bye", to Jim but got no answer and Ed gave me a quick kiss and said good-bye to me, and we were off.
On the way Keith explained to me that some gay people are very sensitive and that Jim was upset about me going home with him when I was supposed to stay with him and Ed. He told me not to worry about it, that Jim and Ed had each other and he would get over it. Then he started telling me about the place we were going to. It was the home of two lovers that had been together 25 years. I was a little taken back by this, but thinking how nice it would be to spend that much time with someone. When Keith told me this he said that they were married, which struck me as odd, he explained that in gay terms lovers are frequently referred to as married. I thought, "If only that could be true".
We arrived at the house in the foothills, which was a section that was not known for its lower or middle class people. No, these houses were definitely out of my class. It was a large Spanish type house with a pool in back that was sort of built in to the side of the mountain overlooking Tucson. There were guys in the pool and sitting around it, seems that they had these pool parties every Sunday afternoon. An older guy approached us and gave Keith a kiss and welcomed me to his house, for the life of me I can't remember his name. Anyway, he said "jump in", I looked around and saw that the guys sitting around the pool were wearing bathing suits, very skimpy ones, but still I felt a little uncomfortable without one. Then a guy climbed out of the pool and I saw that he wasn't wearing anything and this eased it a little. "I think he is shy about not having a suit", Keith told him. I blushed and he leaned toward me and said softly "don't worry about that nobody in the pool has a suit on, its not allowed", and smiled. Still this was new to me and I didn't know anyone. Keith gave me a towel and said "here, go in the house and get undressed and wrap this around you until you feel comfortable". I did as he said, and felt better about that, Keith seemed so nice and understanding.
I came out of the house with my clothes folded over my arm and a towel wrapped around me and someone in the pool yelled, "hey, that's not fair", some of the guys laughed and I felt like they were waiting for me to come out naked. Keith was already in the pool and I went over to the edge and he said, "don't worry about it just have something to drink and come in when your ready". I felt a little more relaxed with him there. I went over to the bar that was set up on the patio and poured a drink from one of the pitchers, they were already mixed and I had no idea what was in them, except for the one that looked like tomato juice, so I took that one. Another guy standing there said, "wait", as I started to walk away and I turned around and he stuck a piece of celery in it and said "cant have a Bloody Mary without the celery", I smiled and thanked him and headed back to the poolside.
I finished the drink and Keith motioned me in the pool, I think he told everyone of my shyness, because when I took off the towel and jumped in everyone cheered. They were playing volley ball in the pool and one guy said "come on over here, we are short one player", oh lucky me I have to play on the deep end. Keith just winked at me as if it was O.K. and so I went on the other side. We started playing and it seemed like the ball came at me every time. I would jump up to hit it and when I went back down and underwater, someone's hand was always there to greet me. No I'm not complaining, I enjoyed it. But this was not a sex party, they fooled around but no one was having sex, which I found strange, but nice. I would have thought that all these gay guys, naked in a pool would be all over one an other, but except for a few grabs it didn't happen. It was just fun being around all these guys that felt as I did about other guys. I even wondered if there was this secret society back home on the east coast, or did people move to the west when they found out they were gay.
The volleyball game ended, we lost to the guys in the shallow end of the pool, which was no surprise. But it was all fun and who cared who won. I joined Keith at a table and he was sitting with two guys, Tom and Roger. Keith introduced me and they were real friendly and started asking me questions about just coming out. I looked at Keith inquisitively and he explained that coming out meant that you were coming out of the closet, sort of accepting the way you were and joining others socially. "Coming out", then didn't have the same implications then as it does today, one could say he was "out" if he went to bars, and accepted his gayness, so to speak. It didn't mean you had to tell everyone you knew and march in a parade once a year. I told them that I had never been happier, and was having a great weekend so far. "Great, I'm happy for you", Tom said and grabbed my hand, holding it maybe a little longer than a comforting pat. He was fantastic looking, tanned, jet black hair and brown eyes, very chiseled face. I smiled and tried to remember that I was with Keith and wasn't going to get two guys mad at me, I had already pissed off Jim by staying with Keith.
On the way back to Keith's apartment, he asked me if I liked Tom, I said "yes, he was nice". "No", he said, "I meant were you attracted to him?" I didn't want to hurt his feelings and said, "he was cute but, I like you better". This seemed to please him, he grabbed my hand and held it for the rest of the trip to his house. He said that the guys that I saw today, I probably wouldn't run into at the bars, they mostly stayed in their little group and met on Sundays. I didn't know why they wouldn't want to go to the bars, I certainly liked them, or one of them at least.
We got to Keith's and when inside he grabbed me and kissed me, and then said, "I really want to be with you, but I have class in the morning and I have to get some studying done", I felt crushed. But at the same time sort of relieved, I couldn't believe that I was thinking this but I was tired too, it had been an active weekend with not much sleep. I asked when I could see him again, and he asked for my phone number. "I live in a barracks, I don't have one", I replied. This was going to make it tough, he didn't have a phone either. He asked me for my address and said that he would send me a letter in a few days, and let me know where and when we could meet.
Well, I checked everyday for that letter, It didn't come, I think it was my first real big hurt in gay life. I felt that I had entered this life that I always wanted, and now it was betraying me, not knowing that many people have the same experience with their first encounter....
To Be Continued...
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