Date: Sat, 07 May 2005 19:31:51 -0400
From: frontrnrusa@netscape.net
Subject: Buddy - Part I

This is a work of fiction with an adult theme.  I look forward to hearing
your thoughts on the story: Frontrnrusa@netscape.net


Buddy -- Part I
By:  Holloway
Copyright 2005 Holloway


I know lying in that body bag is Buddy.  I saw the corpsman and another soldier
put him in it. Why in the fuck wasn't I in one next to him.   I looked down at
Buddy and then my leg, it was gone, not a fucking trace that it ever existed.
Once the realization hit me I called out for the corpsman, he told me he
couldn't give me anything for the pain.
    I looked at him, "give me something for the pain or give me a weapon and
I'll take care of my pain myself."
    He looked at me and reluctantly gave me an injection of Morphine and soon
my thoughts were swimming.  It was last night and Buddy and I sat outside in an
old foxhole and had sex.  Buddy was the first guy I'd ever sucked off and now I
did it all the time but only Buddy's dick.  The first time we messed around and
Buddy sucked me off I put my fingers in his hair and blew my load down his
throat.  He didn't gag he moaned and took me in deeper.  When he finished he
looked up at me, "thanks."
    I grabbed the back of his head pulling him to my shoulder, once I ran my
fingers through his hair, I moved down him until his hard erection looked as
hard as a knife blade sticking in my face.  It was awkward at first but once
Buddy moaned I was hooked, I did everything in my power to make him cum and he
did, in my throat, down the side of my face and under my chin.
    When I sat up he looked at me, "you know motherfucker you belong to me
now."
    I grinned, "same here motherfucker."
    He nodded his head and grinned, "cool."

    I woke up in a hospital.  My leg was nothing more than a memory and the
side of my body had been burned badly.  The nurse taking care of me said they
were getting me on a plane out of here and to the burn center at Fort Sam
Houston Texas.  I looked at her and nodded my head. I lay back and the thought
of Buddy filled my mind, I began to cry and then became hysterical, I felt a
stick and once more I was asleep.  I'm only 19 and weigh no more than 128 at
5'10", my hair is short blonde hair with brown eyes and skin that is a light
Olive color. I never noticed how I looked until I met Buddy and then he wouldn't
let me forget it he repeatedly told me I was a fucking cute guy.   When I looked
at Buddy nothing in the world mattered, we were almost the same size except he
had black silky hair and once my fingers moved in his hair my dick got rock hard
and shot a huge load. Buddy would laugh and tell me he was glad he didn't have
to worry about me messing around since no one else had hair like he did.
I didn't think what Buddy and I did was being queer.  We'd lay in the dark and
French kiss each other than suck each other's dicks and I didn't see anything
wrong with it.
    Buddy would smile at me when I would ask him about it, "fuck everyone, I
don't care what they think I only care about you, if that's queer than fuck it,
I'm queer for you and always will be."
    Then he'd bend forward and kiss me for the longest time before sucking or
sitting on my cock until I drove him over the edge.
    Buddy became my world when we arrived at Parris Island.  He was in the
rack next to me.  Since we slept head to toe, whenever I looked down at my feet
I could see Buddy and he was usually looking at me too.   We watched out for
each other more so than anyone else.  During the Crucible Buddy helped me over a
couple obstacles and kept me going when I would have not made it, or so I
thought, but he knew different and told me so, he kept me motivated.
    Neither of us had family come for graduation.   Once we were off the base
we got a hotel room.  We ordered up something to eat then we stripped down to
our FTLs and talked.  Buddy wasn't shy and within a minute of us undressing he'd
sucked me dry, I lasted maybe all of a minute.  He didn't care.  He must have
sucked me off five times before he lay back on the bed exhausted.  It didn't
take me any time at all to reciprocate, matter of fact he came in my mouth
almost as quickly.  In my anticipation I turned Buddy over on his stomach and
soon had my dick pressing against his tight asshole.  He kept telling me not to
hurt him, I didn't know what I was doing, lust was driving me at that point.
Buddy pushed his ass up and I pushed down and buried 8 inches inside him he
cried out and begged me not to move, I stayed still.  Once he was comfortable,
he pulled from me he stood up and the look on his face said it all.
    "Kyle that fucking hurt, you asshole.  I wanted to have fun not get my ass
ripped apart, what in the fuck is wrong with you we're supposed to be friends,
brothers."  He stopped talking and wiped his eyes, "you fuck I like you and you
hurt me."
    I jumped up and went to him he cocked his fist back like he was going to
slam my face, I looked at him, "Buddy hit me if you want, but I didn't hurt you
on purpose you know that you motherfucker.  I could never hurt you."  I felt my
voice trembling, "Buddy forgive me please."
    Buddy put his arm around my neck and pulled me to his chest.  He kissed
the top of my head, "I forgive you only because you belong to me."
    I threw my arms around his waist, "I'm sorry Buddy."
    He sniffled, "Kyle I'm sorry too I could never hit you, I swear."
    We lay back on the bed, we sucked each other off, Buddy's head rested on
my arm with my face was buried in his silky hair as I told him how horny it made
me.  He laughed then laid on his stomach and asked me to fuck him, he needed me
now.
    I was patient this time and before long I was buried deep inside of him
and he was crying out begging me to fuck him hard.  I fucked him forever and
when I began to cum he cried out several times, I pushed his head into the
pillow as my fingers moved up his neck and I continued to fuck him until I was
spent.  When I broke apart from him he ran to the bathroom returning to clean me
up then he placed his mouth over my cock and told me to hold his head down on my
cock while I fucked his mouth.  The feeling was incredible and I flooded his
mouth.  Buddy sucked me off telling me I tasted so fucking good he wanted more
and more.  I promised and delivered to him time after time.

    Buddy and I became inseparable, nothing and no one got in between us.  We
were kids but we were also Marines.   We weren't afraid of anything except maybe
losing each other and that wasn't something we talked about.  Pendleton was a
fucking cakewalk at times and a bitch at other times, but we learned a lot,
everything was geared towards making us smarter and better-prepared Marines.
After Pendleton we were ordered to Iraq.
    On the plane we sat with a bunch of guys from our old platoon, we
bullshitted each other about bitches and how much of a stud we all were.  By the
look on our faces maybe one or two of us had had pussy any time lately and the
rest had nothing.  I personally didn't care I had Buddy.  Buddy began telling
people we were stepbrothers same mother different fathers.  I didn't mind I
loved the motherfucker something terrible.
We arrived is the best way to say it.  The heat and sand were already here
everything else we brought.  By mid morning we were set up in our tents.  Buddy
and I had racks close beside each other in a corner.   Buddy bumped into me as I
put my shit away he told me he'd find places for us while we were here.  I
looked at him and nodded my head.  Buddy had this fucking smile that could melt
ice and he used it to melt me all the fucking time. Anyway Buddy and I got into
a routine, we couldn't touch each other but we were near each other and that's
what counted. Buddy and I were grunts, ground pounders, the walking dead as
other guys liked to call us.  Usually on the battlefield during a war we had
about an 11-minute life expectancy.  You see the recruiters saw Buddy and me
coming.  We barely had an average high school education and when we were told we
could get 2000 for enlisting in the infantry we were all for it.   Now we were
asking ourselves if 2000 was worth losing each other?  That thought lasted all
of ten minutes after all we were eighteen and invincible.  I'd find myself
watching Buddy do things, sometimes it would make me so excited, not sexually
but proud of him I could barely control it and keep it inside.  I'd usually end
up saying 'Good Job Buddy.'

    Being alone in our foxhole at night was great.   No one from the rear
could sneak up on us and unless we had watch we were free to crash out until
watch began.  We'd keep each other company no matter whose watch it was.   Many
times Buddy would lay his head on my lap and ask me if we were staying in the
Marines forever or were we getting out.  I'd ask him what we would do if we got
out.  'He'd laugh, "get jobs and a place to live just like everyone else in the
world."
    My eyes never left he face, "you serious?"
    He'd nod his head, "yeah I am, I sure the fuck don't want to be without
you ever."
    I knew he could see my eyes and then I'd begin to feel helpless because
I'd never had a job before, I'd always lived in the county boys home.  I wanted
to be with Buddy all the time but I was scared that we'd not have the money for
a place to live and that soon we'd drift apart.  The more I looked at Buddy the
more I wanted him to have the best in life and the more I realized I couldn't
give it to him without money.  He'd look up at me and with a simple expression
he would calm my nerves.
    "Kyle it doesn't matter where we live or what we do as long as we have
each other, everything else will work itself out, I swear."
    His words soothed me and gave me hope once again.   I looked around and
then bent down and kissed him gently.   We were the perfect team and we knew it.
    Six months into our tour while we were sitting in a foxhole at night I
told Buddy I loved him. He stared at me in the glow of the moon.  I saw his eyes
momentarily and then he took a deep breath, "Kyle never tell me that again,
never understand?"
    Normally I'd agree with Buddy but this time I looked at him, "fuck you
asshole, I don't care what you say, I love you and always will, if you don't
like it have the guts to take that weapon off your shoulder and blow my fucking
brains out."
    Buddy sat down on the floor of the foxhole, "you bitch, I love you and you
you've known that since PI.  Loving you is all I've wanted but now that you love
me too I'm afraid I won't be able to protect you."  He continued to look at me
then looked away, "I'm okay, I just got things to think about."
    Buddy was silent for a couple of hours, I dozed on and off, but I woke
immediately when Buddy shook me, "Wake up Kyle, I'm going crazy thinking about
things."
    I looked at him his short black hair stuck up in the front and he had dirt
on the side of his face from where he'd rested his chin on his hands.  I wanted
to pull him in my arms and kiss him, I didn't he was having a real hard time
with things and he needed me to listen to him, I gave him my attention.
    "Kyle, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I feel like I have a
family at last and at the same time I'm scared to death of losing you.  If the
Marines discharged us tomorrow for being queer I'd be all right with that, I
know I could take care of you and I know you'd be happy."  Buddy took a deep
breath his voice had a slight tremble to it.  "This is how things are, if you
die over here I'm going to blow my fucking brains out, I couldn't live without
you and the thought of ever touching another person makes me fucking sick.  Kyle
that's the way I am, I have no regrets and all I want from live is you and me.
Everything else we can do together."
    I looked at Buddy then slumped to the floor of the foxhole and broke down
and cried, me crying, I never cried not in front of anyone.  I'd rather die but
now another Marine was making me ball like a two year old baby.  Buddy pulled me
in his arms holding me tight.  He kissed the side of my head and said things
would be all right, he understood how I felt because he felt the same way too.
He took his thumbs and wiped my eyes, looking in my face in the moonlight, "you
all right now?"
    I reached forwarded and wiped the dirty from the side of his face then I
fixed his hair, "Buddy, swear to me nothing will happen to either of us, swear
it."
    He put his hand on the back of my neck, I could feel his breath on my
scalp, "We'll be all right I swear that to you."
    I tried to smile but couldn't, I held his hand for a minute and looked up
at him, "Buddy, it don't matter to me what we do as long as we have each other.
I'll die without you, I'm scared, real scared of losing you.   If something
happens to you, I want you to know my life ends."  I could see his eyes tearing
I kissed the side of his face then stood up in time to hear the Sergeant come
along.
    All night long I thought about Buddy, death would be a welcome reprieve
from having to live in a world without him.  I felt I would probably die here,
for some reason I was all right with that.  The first chance I had I went to
personnel and left my pay and SGLI to Buddy, I didn't have no family so I could
leave it to whomever I wanted.   I never told Buddy about it otherwise he'd get
pissed.
    The next couple of months started getting pretty rough.  Our equipment was
spread pretty thin and we were working harder than hell since there weren't any
replacements coming in fast.  Everyone was tired and it only took one mistake to
get killed or accidentally kill someone.   We had a mission so we didn't bitch
about it but we all felt it, I worried about Buddy constantly, I got to the
place where I'd get sick if I ate, I knew it was just nerves nothing more.
    Three and a half months passed before we got a week of R&R in the safe
zone.  The whole platoon got hot showers, good food and got our uniforms washed
and pressed.  Buddy and me got haircuts then spent an hour in the exchange
looking at the video games we ended up not buying anything except for two cokes
and a large bag of chips.  We found the day room and sat in the air conditioning
and watched a movie it was pretty cool the only thing better would be the two of
us having someplace we could be alone and hold each other.  Sex was great and
even at our age we knew there had to be more to our lives.  We found a private
place to sit during the night, Buddy looked over at me, "Kyle I've changed all
my SGLI and shit over to you, I'll never love anyone as much as you.  Nothing is
going to happen but since we're a family I felt the need to do this, okay?"
    I turned on my side, "Buddy I did that a few months back, like you said
we're family."
    Something about Buddy didn't seem right that night he was really hyper
and he seemed real emotional.  I sat with my hand on his leg moving my fingers
up and down waiting until he was ready to talk.  He looked around then stood up,
follow me.  I followed him to a small trailer filled with mattresses and
blankets.  Once inside he locked the door and we crawled through the first layer
until we reached the center.  In the center was a mattress with a blanket, Buddy
flipped on his flashlight.  He began to undress as he did so I knelt in front of
him, I felt his fingers running through my hair as I kissed all around his
erection he pulled me up to him and kissed my lips before undressing me
completely.  He took my hand and we lay back on the mattress, Buddy put his head
on my arm.  I kissed his ear and whispered to him that he could tell me
anything.  He turned on his side and almost begged me to hold him tightly.  I
held him in my arms and he began to cry and talk, he told me what he felt and
what was in his heart, when he became silent I gently caressed the side of his
face and he drifted off.  It was pitch black inside and nothing mattered to me
but taking care of Buddy.  My watch beeped at 4am.  I gently woke Buddy, he
smiled at me, "I love you."  Without a word me moved down my body, his lips and
his moaning brought me over the edge in less than two minutes.  He moaned as I
filled his mouth my fingers caressed his silky.  As he moved up next to me he
kissed my chest, "Kyle I want you to fuck me, you have to, I need you so fucking
much."
    I was gentle and soon Buddy was writhing beneath my touch, my hips moved
in and out of him hard and rhythmic, he began to grind his hips and I went wild
until every inch was inside him.  He cried out and I could feel his seed on my
hands and over his abdomen, as his muscles tightened I cried out and filled him.
Buddy rapped his arms around my neck and pulled his lips to mine, "I belong to
you, and only you forever."
    Kissing his lips I moved down his body and cleaned him up, he tasted sweet
and clean and he belonged to me.  As we went to dress Buddy wiped my cock off
then got on his knees in the dark, as soon as my fingers caressed the back of
his neck moving into his hair he cried out pulling my hips into his face sinking
my hard cock into his throat, within seconds I shot another load in his mouth
and stood their with my legs buckling as he milked every drop from me.

    The guys in the platoon were getting excited our tour was near completion
we were all looking forward to getting back to Pendleton.  At the same time we
were all worried too, it seemed that the most wounds and deaths occurred to
those soldiers soon to rotate back to the world.  We all talked about it but
none of us said anything.   It was our last patrol before we left for the world.
We were all locked and loaded expecting anything.  We never saw it coming.  An
old Iraqi man half bent over was leaning in a doorway it was close to 2am in the
morning.  He looked up at us and asked for money or food.  Buddy felt sorry for
him and took out one of his MREs.  The rest of the guys dug stuff out and gave
it to the man there were five of us near when he blew himself up.  We all flew
backwards the force of the explosion threw us around like rag dolls.  I heard
guys yelling.  I couldn't move I didn't know why but my body didn't work the way
I expected.  I turned my head and saw Buddy lying half in the road, his legs
looked like someone broke them and pulled them almost behind him.  I couldn't
see much more until the corpsman ran over to him and shined a light, the side of
Buddy's face was gone, I saw the corpsman put his fingers to Buddy's neck and
shake his head.   When he got to me, he immediately put a tourniquet on my leg
before moving on to the next wounded shoulder.  Within all of five minutes the
entire area was secured by Marines and Iraqi police, ambulances were pulling up
on both sides of the street.  I watched as Buddy was lifted into a body bag.
Three guys died that night and all I remembered was that Buddy was dead. I
couldn't breathe, I called out for the corpsman, he told me he couldn't give me
anything for the pain, it was then I asked him to shoot me, blow my brains out,
he relented and gave me a shot of Morphine.

    I've been in the rehabilitation center in North Carolina for three months.
I'm not the only soldier here everyone is a soldier everyone has lost a limb or
more.  I lost my leg and two fingers off my hand. I have scars everywhere from
the shrapnel.  The wounds no one could see where the wounds of losing Buddy.  So
far I'd been medicated and couldn't think straight but now that they were
weaning me off the medication Buddy was in my thoughts twenty-four seven and all
I wanted was to die.  I'd not eaten in almost two weeks the doctors were going
to force feed me soon.  It didn't matter I'd pull out the tube, it was time for
me to die, I had nothing without Buddy.   The psychiatrist was nice but I
couldn't tell him about Buddy, he said I suffered from post-traumatic stress
disorder from seeing my friends killed as well as being wounded.  I agreed with
him and left it at that.  I ate enough to keep my strength up and that allowed
me to not have to see the psychiatrist again.

    A host of Marines came and went, I tried to make friends but I couldn't my
mind was filled with my loss I didn't want to go on living.  During my fifth
month at the center I was fitted with a new high tech prosthesis I could move
around on my own.  Now that I could get out of bed without help I could put my
plan into action.  I intended to walk out of the hospital, find a hotel room
somewhere, purchase a gun at a pawn shop and blow my brains out.  Saturday
nights were quiet around here most of those that could go home went home leaving
only a small contingent of disabled soldiers behind.  It took some doing but I
managed to slip on my new leg and get to the stairwell without being seen.  At
the bottom of the stairs I rested for a few minutes before leaving the building
and walking outside.  The first hint of winter I felt hit me hard, I shivered
for a few minutes then kept on walking.  I'd made it across the street to a
small park walking toward a bench to take another rest when I saw someone
dressed in the same outfit I was wearing sitting on the bench.  He appeared to
be in his late twenties.  As I got nearer to him I heard him crying, my fucking
heart was breaking just listening to him.  God how I missed Buddy, I sat down
next to the guy without saying a word.  He looked up and apologized.   I looked
at him saying I'd be gone in a minute.
    He looked over at me, "where you going?"
    I smiled at him, "my life is over I'm going to kill myself tonight."
    He nodded his head, "that's why I came here, I don't have anything left in
my life."
    Looking at him I shook my head, "what happened?"
    He looked up at the stars and started talking about a firefight near a
Kurdish Border town.  He said there were explosions everywhere and before he
knew what had happened he saw his legs separate at the knees, like in slow
motion he remarked.
    Without thinking I looked at him, "you couldn't tell you've got artificial
legs.  You've probably got more to live for than you think."
    He shook his head, "what in the fuck do you know.  My wife and son were
killed in a car wreck coming to the hospital to see me, I've lost everything in
the world."
    I mumbled sorry and stood up and began walking away.   He called after me,
"come back I'm sorry."
    I stopped in my tracks not moving for a few minutes then I walked back.
He extended his hand, "I'm Darin. What's your name?"
    Shaking his hand I sat down, "Kyle."
    He asked me what happened, I told him the complete story including being
in love with Buddy, losing my leg and finally watching the guys place Buddy's
body inside a bag for a trip to the morgue.
    Darin looked at me, "I knew there were queers in the Marines I never met
one, I don't mean it like that.  What I meant is that my wife and I had gay
friends but I never met a gay Marine. I'd never have guessed you were gay."
    Looking in his eyes for a minute I calmed down, "you want me to head out I
will I don't need anyone to approve or disapprove of the way I live my life.  I
loved another Marine, he's dead and I miss him as much as you miss your family."
    Darin hung his head, "I understand, believe me."

    Trying to change the subject I asked Darin to show me his legs, after a
while we talked about what we had been through in Iraq always ending up here
alone at the rehabilitation place.  Darin asked me if I realized that we would
both be medically retired in the next couple of months, once our rehab plans
were complete.
    I looked at him he must have seen the fear in my eyes, he quickly
explained I would still get to keep my military identification card and medical
benefits and I'd receive my entire pay tax free.  He threw in I'd get
educational benefits too.
    I nodded my head, "It don't matter to me I don't plan to be around long
enough to collect anything."
    He nodded his head in understanding.  We talked for a while then Darin
looked at me, "I'll make a deal with you lets see if we can't find something to
live for over the next couple of months here in rehab, if we can't then we will
wait until we're discharged, we'll get a room and kill ourselves just like we
had planned."
    He made me shake on it he knew as did I that we would never break our
word.

    Darin and I were misery friends, we were both sad and lonely and together
we had someone to listen to the other talk about our loss.  We never tired of
crying over the people we loved.  As the months wore on we learned to use our
new legs pretty good.  I'd gained some weight back since Darin and I ate chow
together.  It caught me off guard the first time I saw him in uniform, he was a
Marine Captain he smiled at me.  "I'm being retired from the Marines today, I'll
still be here at rehab for another two weeks."
    I nodded and he saluted me then turned and walked down the hall I watched
him enter a door closing it behind him, I stayed in the same spot for almost an
hour, when he left the room I could see he was upset, I acted like I was
reading.  As he passed he stopped and looked at me.
    "Kyle come on."
    I followed him to his room, he closed the door then handed me the
certificate and medal case he was carrying.  "You'll be getting one of these in
the next couple of weeks."
    Reading through everything I lay them on the bedside table.  When I looked
up Darin had stripped down to his underwear.  I looked at his body he had scars
like I did I also noticed he was also a nice looking guy.  I wanted to laugh,
I'd never thought of anyone other than Buddy and now I was looking at Darin.  My
face turned red, Darin noticed, "everything all right?"
    Nodding my head, he sat beside me and removed his legs then scooted back
up on his bed, he covered himself with a sheet, I started to get up then he
asked me not to.
    I turned and looked at him, he was looking in my face I felt
like I had to say something.  "Darin I like being your friend, I've counted on
you the last couple of months to help me get through the days.  Darin you've got
the world waiting for you, I know better than to say this but, you're a great
looking guy, I'm not trying to be queer for you, what I'm saying is you can have
a wife and a family again, if you'll only give yourself the chance."
    Darin but his arm over his eyes, "Kyle thank you, I know you mean what
you're saying.  I appreciate it because we're friends. All the time we've known
each other I've looked at you like a young boy, you're not even twenty and you
want to die.  Sometimes at night I lay here thinking about you killing yourself
and I find myself hurriedly getting dressed and walking down the hall to your
room, after I check on you I can sleep."

He took a deep breath, "Kyle I can't let you kill yourself, swear to me on
your honor that you will continue to keep our pact at least for a while longer,
if we are going to die than it has to be as we planned, together."
My voice trembled, "I swear to your on my honor."