This is a work of fiction. Names of characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously; any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locations is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2015 by Dennis Milholland – All rights reserved. Other than for private, not-for-profit use, no part of this work may be reproduced, transmitted or stored in any form or by any means, other than that intended by the author, without written permission from the copyright holder.

Careful! This is a work of fiction containing graphic descriptions of sex between males and critiques of religion and governments. And last but not least, Nifty would like your donations.

Farewell, Uncle Ho

by Dennis Milholland

questions and comments are welcome. www.milholland.eu / dennis@milholland.eu

Chapter 11 (Fri, Dec 9)

Bat had gone upstairs to get cleaned up, as soon as Marv and I returned to the back door of the kitchen to make sure the women had, in fact, left the property. Before Marv and I could start to talk about my induction, Lon came down seemingly worried. "Are they gone?"

"Yeah, they are." Marv gave Lon a serious look. "And why didn't you come down. You couldn't have slept through all that noise."

"No, of course not." Lon helped himself to coffee and got out three bowls for cereal. "Brian and I were comforting Jackie. He thought she was after him."

Bat had heard the last part of the conversation and told Lon about the divorce petition and the restraining order. "Is Jackie okay?"

"No." Lon put the bowls back at his dad's request, since he was taking us to Yehuda's for breakfast. "For some reason, he's got it into his head that she wants to kill him."

Bat swiveled round to look at Lonnie. "How did he get that idea?"

"A couple of weeks ago, she told him that she was going to get him." Lon tried to laugh it off.

But apparently Bat was not going to let it slide. "We'll have a talk, when we get back. That means all of us, including you two." The look that he gave Marv and me told us that there was no backing out. "But it does appear that the restraining order was well worth the effort. Good call, Marv."

Marv acknowledged the recognition with a nod. But it seemed to upset Brian when he arrived with Jackie in tow. "Was a restraining order really necessary?"

"You go ahead and field that one, Marv." Bat went to get his plaid woolen jacket from the front closet.

"I thought that it would be a good idea, since your mother has made several statements, even in my presence, that she was going to break Bat, as in destroy his business." Marv kept pushing his glasses up his long, narrow, straight nose. Not for the first time was I glad not to have too much Caucasian in me. My nose was much better suited to holding up glasses. "And your father has some critical documents in the house, since his office is here."

I imagined Marv and Bat growing up together. They must have resembled Jeff and Porky on Lassie, only Bat, the leader, wasn't fair-haired and didn't have round eyes. I came back to the conversation and listened to how we were all enlisted to protect the family business. And if today's conversation with Bat was any indication, the business was indeed valuable.

Then, I thought about what I would do. "Why don't you have the locks changed?" Since I hadn't seen Lon's mother give back any key, that she must have had to walk in on Bat and me.

"Holy Fuck!" Nearly everyone laughed at Marv's language and volume. He hurried to the phone extension on the kitchen wall next to the door to the dining room. He pulled out his wallet, which resembled a miniature briefcase and flipped through the cards, which were arranged in a clear plastic accordion, which cascaded almost to his knees when unfolded. He dialed and waited impatiently. "Hey, this is Marvin Brandstifter. We need a locking system for five doors, with ten registered keys and a bar bolt with three registered keys, at about four this afternoon." He waited, again impatiently for the verification and he gave the locksmith Bat's name and address. He returned to the breakfast bar and winked at me. "I'm fucking impressed." He looked at Bat, nodding. "Why didn't we think of that?"

"None of you has ever had to live all that close to the Lower East Side of Manhattan." was my icy-cold reply.

***

When we got back from our lox-on-cream-cheese-bagel breakfast, everyone, including Marv and me, had a long family talk, and Bat assured Jackie that he would be safe, even if he had to hire a bodyguard to accompany Jackie while he was at school. Bat made a point of having his youngest sit on the couch next to him, so they could cuddle while we talked. Their closeness made me painfully aware of what I'd missed as a child. My dad and mom had been my teachers and never my buddies and protectors.

"Go on and take Jackie up to his room," Bat told his second oldest, Brian. "and stay with him."

"Can't I take him with me?" Brian looked at his younger brother, smiling. "Barbara and I are going Christmas shopping to get presents for her parents." Their eyes followed Bat closely as he rose to go over to hang up his plaid jacket in the hall closet.

"Would you like that, Jackie?" Bat asked, ruffling his seven-year-old son's thick, black hair in passing. "I heard that you're in love with Brian's girlfriend, Is that true?"

As the bashful Jackie was nodding, we heard a car horn toot twice from the street. "That's Barbara!" Jackie squealed and jumped up, taking off running toward the front entrance, not quite getting the heavy oak door open.

"I'll have him back before his bedtime." Brian followed his excited kid brother, opening the door and letting Jackie run out. "See you, Guys."

"Looks like Brian and Barbara are getting serious, doesn't it?" Marv offered his cigarettes all around, now that Jackie was gone. We all took one and nodded our thanks.

"Yup," Bat sighed and let Marv light his cigarette for him. "and he coulda done a lot worse," He looked at me mischievously. "even though her parents are much too Chinese."

Marv tensed and looked at me. When he saw me start to laugh, he relaxed. "So, Ben, you approve of mixed marriage?"

"I'd be shit outta luck if I didn't." I laughed along with Lon, taking a long drag on my cigarette. "My father's Franco-Irish from Bordeaux, where he was born and grew up. My mother's father came to this country illegally from Guangdong via Cuba, where he met my grandmother. But my mother and her brother were born and grew up here."

"So, you're a native speaker of…?" Marv held a hand under his cigarette until he could lean forward enough to flip the long ash into the amber glass ashtray on the coffee table, watching me instead of what he was doing. This told me that this was a business conversation rather than a casual question of social interest.

"I speak, read and write English, French, and Cantonese with equal proficiency, and I can read and write Mandarin." I stated as a matter of fact without the self-important smile, which accompanies being boastful.

Marv, however, couldn't control his self-important smile. "Then can you give us a quick rundown on this?" He pulled out a pocket-sized book and handed it to me.

I went over to the couch he was on and took the thin, leather-bound book. "It's a copy of the New Testament." I had to laugh as I leafed through it, finding the ten commandments on the inside back cover. I also found it humorous since an observant Jew had handed it to me. "But it isn't Cantonese; it's Mandarin."

"How can you tell?" Marv was scrutinizing me.

"The pronouns, he, she, and it, along with negation are Mandarin." I handed Marv back his Christian Testament and chuckled again.

"Told you that he wouldn't fall for it, Marv." Bat said, putting out his cigarette. "And it only took him less than three seconds." Bat laughed, remembering something funny. "How long did it take you to tell the difference between written Yiddish and Hebrew, when we were on that field trip to Israel?"

The two men laughed, sharing an intimate memory. "Well," He came to his own defense and snorted again. "I'd never seen the word 'whorehouse' written in either language. It ain't something you learn in Sabbath School."

"Yeah, and I seriously doubt," Bat winked at me, smiled softly and refocused attention on his lawyer. "that our Ben here has ever seen the Mandarin Characters for 'New Testament', either, since he is a Buddhist, but he called your ass out in no time flat."

Marv was already reaching into the inside breast pocket of his trench coat, which was neatly folded next to him on the couch. "Let's see how he does with this." He handed me a folded document, which had been stapled into a blue backer.

I unfolded it and took a look. "This is in Cantonese," I laughed, and continued to read. "and it's a property sales agreement between Bat and--"

"--that'll be enough for now." Marv jumped up and swiftly grabbed the document out of my hands. I looked up in time to see Bat grinning broadly and Lonnie displaying the open mouth of awe.

"But I will need a Cantonese-English legal dictionary to do a proper job." I explained to Marv.

"No problem." He said as he moved to the oak front door to answer the ringing bell. "Hi, Barry, come in. Punctual as always." Marv stood back to motion in a middle-aged, balding man in a bibbed overall, who was pushing a large tool box on wheels.

Bat approached the locksmith and took him to his office, instructing him about the bar lock. Lon got up to stand next to me in front of the mantelpiece. "Wow, Lover, I'm impressed. I never made it past Dick and Jane in Cantonese."

Marv closed the front door and came over. "You're like me. I never got past my own Dick in Hebrew, either." He fished out another cigarette and lit it. "Speaking of which, did I see you dicking Bat when we came in, this morning?"

My face must have shown my embarrassment because Lon erupted in laughter. "What?" He guffawed anew. "You were fucking Dad when Mom and Marv arrived?"

Marv was obviously enjoying this. "And his mother was along for the ride, too."

Lon almost went into hysterics but was trying to whisper. "Bernice and Alice caught you fucking my dad?" Not waiting for me to answer his redundant question, he quickly added: "No wonder she flipped."

"Yeah," I decided to go into a little more detail. "it wasn't only in her kitchen, I was also using her Crisco for lube. And Bat didn't miss a beat. He let us finish cumming and stood there at the breakfast bar with my dick still up him, as cool as you please until my cock plopped out. That's when Marv here arrived."

"You looking for a sure-fire way of getting out of military service, without going to Canada?" Marv looked as if he was ready to spring the biggest news in the world, when the locksmith's drill killed our conversation for a second or two.

I grinned at him, knowing what he was talking about. The drill went silent. "You mean, I could check the box?" The drill whined into action one more time.

Marv nodded and looked at me with compassion. Lon, on the other hand, was clueless as to what I meant. "Check what box?" he projected over the noise.

"He means," I patted Marv on the shoulder for emphasis and yelled: "tell the army…" And, of course, this is where the drilling stopped. "…that I'm Queer." That got everyone's attention except for that of the locksmith who was wearing protective earmuffs. Bat, Marv and I laughed at the would-be compromising situation; only Lon remained serious.

"Okay," Lon looked at us both. "and why don't you do that, then?"

"Because I would never get a job in this country." I related what I'd heard. "Or so they say."

Bat was standing in front of his office door, centered in the south wall of the living room, on the inside of which the locksmith had just installed the bar-bolt lock, which was well within earshot of the mammoth, brick hearth and oak mantelpiece, where we were. He was inspecting the keys, when he said in a stage whisper: "If you want, I'll take you to the induction station and kiss you good-bye, like they've never seen before."