Date: Tue, 2 Apr 2002 13:21:19 -0800 (PST)
From: rimpigfl <rimpigfl@yahoo.com>
Subject: Marine Encounter XI

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of FICTION. It is NOT TRUE. Any resemblance
between any character and any real person is thoroughly and completely
accidental. This story contains scenes of sex between males. So you're
forewarned. If this story warps your sex-drive or your previously held
opinions, feelings or desires, then it has been successful.


Marine Encounter - Part XI
by RimPig (c) 2002

As I lay in bed that night listening to Shawn's deep, steady breaths, I
began to think about Mark.  It had been years since I had thought about
him, but the discussion about kids in foster care naturally brought his
memory back to me.

Mark was a foster care kid. When I was 11 or 12, we lived next to his
foster care parents for a few years. The Petersens, the name of his foster
care family, were nice people. They seemed to really care for the four kids
that they fostered. Mark was the oldest, he was 14. The others three were
all girls. Julie who was three, Kindra who was four and Melissa who was 8.

Mark and I got to be very good friends. The fact was, I had a huge crush on
him. I was only just discovering that I was strongly attracted to other
boys. I didn't know exactly what it meant, but I knew that this was somehow
different. I tried to keep my feelings well hidden, but I guess I couldn't
do a very good job around Mark because I was so taken with him.

He was a very good-looking boy. He was about 5' 8" tall. He had very dark
brown hair and deep blue eyes. His body was quite muscular for a boy his
age because he played football on a municipal league and worked out on a
set of weights that Mr. Petersen had in the garage. I loved to watch him
lifting weights, his young muscles straining and bulging while his skin
glistened with sweat. I loved the opportunities I got to smell him after he
had worked out. It was the first time I began to notice how wonderful a
guy's natural scent was - especially when they were sweaty. I loved the
smell of Mark and was eager to get close to him every chance I could
get. My parents wouldn't let me work out with weights because they said I
wasn't old enough, but Mike still allowed me to watch him every day when he
did it. These were some of my happiest memories.  Mark's beautiful muscles
and the scent of him surrounding me as I watched. Of course, I had to hide
the hardon I constantly had while this was going on.

The best part of all of this is that Mark seemed to like me as well. He was
always letting me hang out with him and would, when no one else was around,
even put his arm around my shoulders and let me feel the touch of his skin
against mine. Mark loved coming over to my house and playing with all the
stuff in my room. As a foster care kid, Mark didn't have a lot of his own
things. But I loved having him around and let him have full run of my room
any time he wanted.

My parents let Mark sleep over a lot as well. I think they figured out very
quickly that I cared very deeply about Mark. They seemed a little bothered
at first but one day, my Dad came to my room when I was alone and sat down
on my bed and started talking to me.

"You really like Mark a lot, don't you, Bobby?" he said.

I guess I must have blushed at this. I remember feeling my face getting
hot.

"Yeah, Dad! He's so cool!" I answered, my face turned to the floor.

"He seems like a very nice boy. Is he nice to you?" Dad asked.

"Oh, yes! He's always very nice to me. He lets me spend time with him and
he shows me stuff.  He's almost like an older brother. I wish he was my
older brother." I trailed off.

"I know, son. But you know that your mom and I can't have any more
children. You know, all boys have very special friends when they're growing
up. They are almost like brothers to them.  It's perfectly normal to have
those kinds of feelings for someone. I just want you to understand that
sometimes those feelings change. Mark is a bit older than you and someday
soon, he might start getting more interested in girls than hanging around
with you. That's normal, too. So don't be too sad if it happens. Do you
understand?" he asked.

I didn't really, but I nodded my head anyway because that's what he seemed
to expect from me.  He left then, but I continued to think about what he
had said. Mark didn't seem at all interested in girls. We had talked about
it one night when he slept over. He told me about sex, about how babies are
made. He didn't go any further then, but that night, I woke up to find Mark
arms around me and us laying like spoons. I also felt his cock was very
hard inside his briefs and shoved up against my butt as we slept. I
remember that I felt so warm and protected with his arms around me like
that. I drifted back off to sleep, secure and happy.

As time when on, Mark and I talked more and more about sex stuff. He talked
about jacking off.  I'd already discovered that a long time ago. I had just
started shooting cum but I didn't have any pubic hair yet. Mark's cock was
huge in comparison to mine - or at least I thought so at the time.  He had
dark hairs sprouting around it and when it was hard, it was over six inches
long. I got to see it a lot because whenever Mark would sleep over, we
would jack off together. I couldn't take my eyes off his hardon while he
worked his hand up and down the shaft.  One night I noticed that Mark was
just as avidly watching me stroke my cock at the same time. He seemed to be
getting off on my cock as much as I was his.

One night, several weeks after this, I finally got up the nerve to ask Mark
if I could touch his cock. We were lying in bed, slowly stroking our
hardon's. We hadn't really started to get into it yet. Mark was hesitant at
first, but finally said that I could touch his if he could touch mine. I
readily agreed. He said we should not lay shoulder to shoulder as we were,
however. We should lay with our head pointing to each other's feet so that
we could get a "good look" at each other's cocks.

Not knowing really anything about boy/boy sex, I didn't realize that this
was the position for 69.  But I was eager to get my hands on Mark's boner
and putting my face that close to his crotch, and all the wonderful smells
I knew were there, just made things that much better.

As I touched and played with Mark's cock, I noticed a small drop of clear
liquid that bubbled up from his piss-slit. I touched it and found it very
slick. Without thinking, I brought my finger to my mouth and tasted it. It
tasted very sweet. With my finger still in my mouth, I looked up to see
Mark looking at me. I was very embarrassed to have been caught doing
something like this, but Mark smiled at me and reached down and ruffled my
hair.

"Does it taste good to you, buddy?" he asked.

I nodded my head.

"Yeah, it does to me, too! I love to lick it off my fingers when I'm
jacking off. There's more of it, why don't you taste it again?" he said. I
could hear something in his voice which I later recognized as desire.

I don't know why I did it - natural instinct, I guess - but when I saw more
of the sweet nectar bubbling out of his cock head, I didn't use my
finger. I just leaned over and wiped my tongue across the top of his cock
and licked up all the sweet liquid I could find there. I heard Mark groan
and I thought I had hurt him in some way. I quickly lifted my head to look
at him. His eyes seemed to burn into mine.

"Oh, God! That felt so good! Please do it again!" Mark begged.

I was thrilled. Something I did made Mark feel really good! Of course, I
immediately bent down again and began licking all over his cock head. Mark
continued to moan at the feel of my tongue and I was in heaven. I could
smell the wonderful odor of adolescent male crotch wafting up into my nose
and I knew there was no place on earth I would rather be for the rest of my
life. Without being told, I began to take Mark's cock into my mouth. As it
moved inside me, I continued to lick all around it. Marks moans became
louder until they stopped all together.

Then I felt it. The warm wetness surrounded my hard cock and I thought I
would lose it right there and then. I looked over, and there was Mark with
my cock buried in his mouth. He was giving me the very same pleasure that I
was giving him. I lay there watching while Mark continued to lick and suck
on my cock inside his mouth. Noticing that I had stopped, Mark took his
mouth from my cock and looked me deep in the eyes.

"Don't stop. Let's do each other." Mark said and then he dipped his head
down and re-captured my cock in his mouth.

I quickly complied, taking as much of his cock in my mouth as I could. I
wanted to take all of it, like he'd done mine. But, at first, it was
difficult. But as I sucked on his cock, my mouth and throat gradually began
to relax and more and more of Mark's cock slid inside until it hit the back
of my throat. I guess it was just reflex, or something that happened
naturally, but the minute that Mark's cock hit the back of my throat, I
didn't gag. In fact, the muscles of my throat just seemed to open up and
suck Mark's cock deep inside.

Mark began to hunch against my face, driving his cock in and out of my
sucking mouth and throat. I loved the feeling of his cock fucking my mouth
and throat. I loved watching his balls moving within their smooth sack and
finally tightening up, one on each side of Mark's cock. Mark was really
moaning around my cock now and pushing his cock in and out of my
mouth. Suddenly, he stopped and grew very tense. I had the presence of mind
to keep sucking on his cock and with a great moan, I suddenly felt my mouth
filled with hot, acrid, thick liquid that shot from Mark's cock. Not
knowing what else to do, I began to quickly swallow to keep from being
drowned by Mark's adolescent load.

At the same time, I reached the point of no return and began to cum into
Mark's mouth. Not very much, I could only shoot a few drops at that time,
but Mark gobbled my cock hungrily - like a man starved. We continued to
nurse on each other's cock, trying to get the last little bit of liquid,
until both our cocks became too sensitive to stand it any longer.

At that point, Mark reached for me and I moved up the bed into his arms. He
held me tightly and began to gently kiss me. First my forehead, then my
eyes, then the tip of my nose and, finally, his lips gently touched mine. I
could feel his lips open and his tongue began to gently lick my lower lip
until I opened my mouth. Then his tongue shyly began to lick inside,
tasting his own load in my mouth. I moaned and sucked on his tongue and our
kiss became deeper and more passionate.

This was no longer about two horny boys getting each other off. With a
blinding flash, I suddenly realized what these feelings I had for Mark
were. I was deeply, totally in love with him and tried in every way to show
him how much I cared. Mark seemed to have the same feelings and the same
agenda. We continued to kiss for a long time, barely allowing either of us
to breathe. And, as we kissed, our cock became hard again and began to push
against each other.

Mark finally broke the kiss, but began to move down my body. First he
licked and sucked at my neck which caused goose-bumps to rise all over my
body.  From there he trailed down my chest and began to suck at each one of
my nipples. My back arched off the bed, shoving my chest into his face, as
I felt the electric shocks of pleasure shoot through my body. I had no idea
that my nipples were that sensitive or what it would feel like to have
someone suck on them.

Mark finally moved farther down my body, trailing his tongue across my flat
stomach and burying his face in my crotch. I could hear him snorting as he
breathed deeply of the scent of my cock and balls. I thought he was going
to suck my cock again, but instead, he began to slowly and deliberately
lick my balls. I was overwhelmed by the sensation of his tongue as he
licked my sack and was almost driven to the point of madness when he took
my scrotum within his mouth and began to suck on both of my balls at
once. But Mark didn't stop there.

Reaching under my legs, he pushed them up and back until my knees were
almost resting on my chest and my ass was spread and raised to his
view. Mark dipped his head forward and I could hear him taking whiffs of my
ass scent. It suddenly struck me that Mark evidently loved the smell of my
body as much as I loved the smell of his. What he did next, however, almost
blew me completely away. After getting a good whiff of my ass, he dipped
his head lower and I felt his tongue licking away at my hole.

This was almost more than I could take. I had never dreamed that my ass
could be so sensitive or that anyone would ever think of, much less do,
what Mark was doing to me. Having licked up and down my butt crack a few
times, he now centered all his attention on my tiny ass hole. He licked and
sucked at the orifice and gradually, I could feel the pressure of his
tongue trying to go inside of me. Gradually, my butt hole loosened up from
all of the coaxing and pressure of Mark's mouth and for the first time, I
felt a man's tongue licking deep inside of me. It was the most wonderful
feeling in the world. And I suddenly knew that there was nothing I wouldn't
do to feel this again and again.

But there was something far beyond just Mark's rimming of my hole that was
to come. I guess if I had any inkling of what was about to happen, I might
have been scared. But I loved Mark with my whole heart and soul. I trusted
him and knew, that no matter what he wanted to do to me, it would be
wonderful. Marked looked up at me from between my legs, his mouth still
licking my ass and he winked at me. I smiled at him and was once more lost
to the feeling of his tongue buried in my most secret and intimate place.

Mark finally stopped licking my hole and began to gently shove his finger
into my ass. Because of all the saliva that was deposited there and how
well relaxed his had made my sphincter, it slid in easily. Mark began to
play up inside my hole and he suddenly pushed against something that almost
had me rise vertically off the bed! I didn't know what he hit with his
finger, but it felt like I was cumming. Mark grinned at my reaction and
continued to press against this spot several times until I was all but
begging him to stop. The feeling was so intense, I could hardly stand it.

Mark then began working a second finger up my hole. He was making my hole
relax and grow bigger but I couldn't understand why. I knew nothing about
boys fucking each other in the ass but I knew that my ass was 'itching'
deep inside for something beyond Mark's fingers. I just didn't know what. I
began to wiggle my ass and try to push it forward to gobble up more of
Mark's fingers. Seeing this, Mark smiled at me.

"Well, I guess you're ready!" Mark said, reaching down and beginning to
stroke his already hard cock.

"Ready for what?" I asked in all innocense.

"I want to fuck you, Bobby." Mark said, his tone deeply loving and horny at
the same time.

"What do you mean?" I asked, not really knowing what he was talking about.

"You know, I told you about fucking, how a guy fucks a girl to get her
pregnant." Mark explained.

"Yeah, but I'm not a girl." I said, quite confused by all of this.

"I know. But guys can fuck other guys. They just fuck their butts rather
than a girl's pussy." he said, making things much plainer.

"You want to shove your cock up my butt?" I asked.

"Yes. You're all relaxed now, it shouldn't hurt. And when I do, it's going
to feel really, really good." Mark promised.

"I'm scared." I admitted.

"Don't be, Bobby. I won't hurt you, I promise. Can I please fuck you?" Mark
asked.

"Ok. But, Mark, please don't hurt me. I love you." I said.

At this, Mark looked up and stared deeply into my eyes. I thought I saw
tears start to glisten in his.

"Do you really? Do you really love me, Bobby?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yes, Mark, I do. I have loved you for a very long time. I didn't realize
it until you took me in your arms and began to kiss me. But I do. Is that
ok?" I asked.

"Yes, it is very ok!" Mark voice was husky with emotion. "It's been so very
long since anyone has told me that. I didn't think I'd ever have anyone
love me again. I love you, Bobby. That's why I want to fuck you. It will
bring us as closely together as two people can be. Do you understand?"  he
asked.

"Yes, I'm beginning to. Part of your body will be inside my body. That's
almost like we were one person." I told him.

"That's exactly it. Don't you want that?" Mark almost begged.

"I want that more than anything!" I promised.

Mark didn't say anymore. The time for talking was over. He dipped down and
again applied more of his spit to my ass and then spit on his hand and
lubed up his hard cock with it. He placed the head of his cock at my hole
and gently began to push. I felt some pressure. It didn't hurt, but my
sphincter didn't seem to want to open any further to let Mark in. Mark
looked down at me and told me to push down, like I was taking a dump and
that would let my hole relax. I did as he said and the next thing I knew,
the head of his cock had broken through and was buried halfway in my ass.

I expected there to be pain, but there wasn't. Mark's loosening of my ass
had been very successful. I felt a fullness with his cock inside me, but I
felt a completeness as well. Like this was something that I had wanted all
my life but never knew. Mark hesitated to see if I was alright, but I just
smiled at him. At this, he began to push his cock slowly the rest of the
way into me. I, however, was too impatient. I reached out and grabbed his
hips and pulled him to me as hard as I could. His cock went tearing through
my ass and bottomed out as his curly pubic hair tickled the outside of my
hole.

The feeling of having him completely inside me was indescribable. I never
felt anything more natural in my life. It felt so perfect. I felt so
complete. I knew that this was what I wanted to feel the rest of my
life. Buried to the hilt inside me, Mark relaxed his body down until he was
resting on his elbows with his face directly above mine. He leaned down and
his lips sought mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we kissed
deeply as his cock throbbed inside my tight chute.

Slowly, he began to withdraw and I moaned at his attempt to leave me. I
wanted his cock inside me. I didn't want him to pull out. But he didn't go
far. He pulled back a few inches and then drove his cock back into my hole
as deeply as he could. This felt even better! He was fucking me and I was
loving every second of it!

Mark began to withdraw and push in more rapidly. He found a natural rhythm,
and I was lost in the intense feelings and emotions of being made love to
by a boy that I truly loved. He began to fuck me harder and harder. And the
harder he fucked me, the more I begged him to fuck me harder. The feelings
were beyond anything I'd ever felt before. His cock kept rubbing up against
that place inside me until I knew that I was about to cum and I hadn't even
touched my cock the whole time. I began moaning and thrashing about until
my body tensed and I came all over my stomach. More cum than I'd ever shot
before.

Feeling the tightening of my hole around his cock as I came, sent Mark over
the edge as well. He began to pound very hard into my ass and then, with
one last thrust to bury himself completely inside me, I could feel his cock
throbbing inside me as he unloaded his cum deep in my guts. He held that
position for a few more moments, and then collapsed on top of me.

I put my arms around him and held him, nuzzling my face into his sweaty
neck. I was getting intense odors of his body, my cum and my ass from our
sexual abandon. It was a heady mixture and I loved it. Mark finally raised
his head and began to kiss me, gently this time.

"I love you." he said, looking deep into my eyes. I smiled at him.

"I love you, too. That was the most wonderful thing that anyone has ever
done to me!" I said.

"Wait until you feel what it feels like to fuck me." Mark promised.

That took me aback. I hadn't thought of fucking Mark. The thought of it
hadn't entered my mind.  But once he said that, my cock got instantly
hard. Yes! That was something I wanted to do.  Mark, almost reading my
mind, grinned at the look on my face. He could feel my rampant cock poking
into his tight stomach muscles.

"And I guess you don't want to wait until later, do you?" Mark asked,
grinning at me.

"I'll wait if you want to, but no. I want to fuck you now!" I said eagerly.

Mark moved off me and lay face down on the bed and spread his legs.

"Just take it easy, ok? It's been a long time since anyone has fucked me."
Mark said to me.

"I promise. I don't want to hurt you. I love you, remember?" I said.

"Yes, I remember." he said almost with a sigh. He rested his head on his
crossed arms and I got between his legs.

I stared down at his beautiful, fourteen year old ass. I was not going to
miss out on the availability of it. I leaned down and began to lick all
over the cheeks of his butt. The skin was smooth and hairless but I could
feel the strong muscles beneath the soft skin. I moved towards his butt
crack and the ripe scent of adolescent ass hit my nose for the first time
in my life. I loved the scent instantly. It was strong, it was musky and it
was Mark. The most basic essence of this boy that I loved.

I buried my face in his ass trench, and like he had done to me, began to
take deep whiffs of the assy scent I found there. Mark reached back with
both his hands and spread his ass cheeks for me so that I could get the
full essence of his adolescent body. I pushed my nose into his ripe trench
and actually butted up against his moist hole. The scent was stronger and
darker there. I reached out my tongue and began to lick across his
hole. Mark moaned at the touch of my tongue and I was lost to the joys of
rimming. As he did me, I locked my lips around his hole and began to suck
gently on it, taking the wrinkly skin into my mouth and licking it. It
tasted tart but good to me.

I began to press my tongue against Mark's hole and it easily opened and
allowed me to enter. I licked deep within his ass. My mind evidently
blocked out the possibility of him being dirty inside.  In fact, all I
found there was the incredible softness of his body's interior. Now I knew
why he wanted so badly to fuck me! I couldn't wait to bury my hard cock in
this hot, smooth wetness inside him.

"You don't need to use your fingers. I think I can take you." Mark moaned.

I raised up and spitting on my cock as Mark had for lube, I placed the head
of my cock at his soft, wrinkly hole. I applied pressure with my hips and,
almost without realizing it, my cock buried itself in the hot, wetness
inside of him. When I came to my senses, my cock was buried completely in
Mark's ass and I was laying across his back and licking the back of his
neck. Mark was moaning and moving his ass, trying to get all of me as
deeply inside him as he could.

"God! Your ass feels so good!" I whispered in his ear.

"Not half as good as your cock does in there!" Mark replied. "Now, fuck me,
buddy. Fuck me really hard. I like it that way."

Taking him at his word, I began to shove my cock in and out of his ass as
hard as I could. And, even though I'd just cum, I knew that I would not be
able to last long at this tempo. Mark was moaning the whole time and
pushing his ass back each time I slammed into it to try and get my cock
even further up his hole. Each time my cock smashed into his ass, the head
of my cock seemed to rub up against this hard knot up inside his butt. I
pummeled his ass to the best of my ability and, to my amazement, I suddenly
felt Mark's ass grip my cock tightly and the muscles inside his butt begin
to throb. I somehow knew that Mark was cumming again. This threw me into my
own orgasm. I felt like I shot a gallon of cum up his butt, but I know it
could have only been a couple of squirts, if that, after having cum twice
already.

I collapsed on Mark's back - sweaty, exhausted, and out of breath. I buried
my face in his hair, breathing the sweaty scent of my lover. I was as happy
and contented as a male could be. For the first time, I began to understand
the wonder of being a man.

We lay there for a while and then Mark suggested that we take a shower.

"We both stink!" he exclaimed, taking a sniff of his body.

"But I love the way you smell." I argued.

"You do? Nobody's ever said that to me before." Mark said, looking at me
with questions in his eye.

"I've always loved the way you smell. That's why I always try to be close
to you." I said, hanging my head. For some reason, I suddenly felt shame
about this quirk of mine.

"I always wondered about that. I kind of thought that you did. But I
thought I was the only one who liked the way other guys smell. You know I
love the scent of your body, don't you?" Mark said, raising my chin and
staring into my eyes.

"Not until tonight. When you were sniffing my butt, I suddenly realized
that you liked my scent as much as I loved yours." I answered.

"And did you like the scent of my butt? You seemed to spend a long time
sniffing it." Mark said, grinning at me.

"Yeah! I did! I know that's probably gross, but I really loved the scent of
your butt. Is that wrong? Do you hate me for that?" I asked, almost afraid
of the answer.

"Hate you! I'll show you how much I hate you for it!"

And with that, Mark picked me up and threw me back on the bed. He got over
me so that his cock was over my face and his head was between my legs. He
raised my legs and pulled my butt back to his mouth and he began to sniff
and lick and suck at my tender, just fucked ass. I could feel him sucking
his cum out of my butt. I reached up and felt behind his balls until my
fingers could reach his moist, just fucked hole. I slid a finger inside and
Mark moaned. He dropped my legs and sat up so that his butt was over my
face. He slowly lowered it until my mouth latched onto his ass lips and I
began to suck and lick at his hole. It was still relaxed from being fucked
and I was able to shove almost my whole tongue up his butt. I did taste
some of my own cum along with the dark tartness of the inside of his ass.

"Mmm. That feels so good!" Mark murmured above me. "How the fuck could I
hate anyone who makes me feel this good!".

I continued to feast at Mark's ass for a few more minutes until he raised
up off my face. He turned around and lay down on top of me, joining out
mouths in a deep and passionate kiss. I tasted my ass on his mouth for the
first time and I loved the taste. We swapped tastes back and forth for a
while until Mark finally broke the kiss.

"We still need to take a shower. We may love the way we smell, but we smell
like sex. And we don't want everyone else to know what we've been doing."
Mark said.

I didn't care if the whole fucking world knew that I had made love to Mark,
but I began to understand that this was not something that you wanted
everyone else to know. Especially not other guys. Somewhere in the back of
my head the words "gay", "fag" and "queer" were moving around. Was what
Mark and I just did wrong? Was anything that wonderful and that loving
wrong? I was very confused. But then Mark put his arm around me and all of
my confusion disappeared. I didn't care what anyone thought of me. This was
the happiest night of my life and I loved what we had done.

We got into the shower together and Mark and I took infinite pains to wash
each other. We soaped and touched every part of each other's body. It was
like we were discovering each other all over again. When we finished, we
carefully and gently dried each other off and then walked hand-in-hand to
the bed. I curled up in Mark's arms and lay my head on his muscular
chest. I was quickly lost in deep, exhausted and contented sleep.

That's the way my Dad found us the next morning. He didn't say anything
about it. In fact, he seemed to understand. I remember he smiled at me as I
raised my head from Mark's chest to say good morning. And then he winked
and said that I seemed to have slept well. I didn't catch the double
entendre at that time. Only later, many years later, did I understand.

For the next two years, I was incredibly happy. I was deeply in love with
Mark and he seemed to be with me. That is, until just after he turned 16.

Something seemed to happen to him when he turned 16. Mark seemed to
withdraw inside himself to a place I couldn't reach him. He started having
dark moods and would disappear for days at a time. His foster parents
became very worried as well. I was beside myself. I didn't know what to
do. And there was no one I could talk to about it. At times, Mark seemed
like his old self. We would have fun spending time together and we would
make passionate love to one another. But those times became fewer and
fewer.

At first, I thought it might be what my Dad had talked to me about
once. That Mark was starting to be interested in girls. But there was no
sign of that. I did notice that he started drinking. I don't know where he
was getting the beer and booze, probably from some of his jock buddies on
the football team. Mark was playing varsity now on our high school team.

I had no real interest in sports, but I went to every game just in the hope
of getting to see Mark play. And usually, he did. Especially in the last
quarter when they would pull juniors off the bench.  One of the things that
happened during those days was that Mark spent most of his time on campus
with the other jocks and completely ignoring me. I didn't really mind. Mark
had explained time and again why it was important that no one knew about
what we really were to each other. I went along because that was what Mark
wanted. But it hurt me inside.

The worst night of my life began as one of the happiest. My parents were
going out for the evening and wouldn't be home until very late. Mark and I
were up in my room supposedly doing homework but really just sitting and
talking, just like we used to. As soon as my parents left, Mark went to his
gym bag and pulled out a bottle of champagne and several joints. I'd never
had pot before and at first it scared me. But Mark assured me that it would
make me feel wonderful and feel like making love all night long.

We drank the champagne and I got very tipsy. I did not drink like Mark did
and it didn't take much to get me drunk. Then we started smoking the
joints. It took even less to get me stoned. At one point, Mark took a big
hit off of the joint and then held my face to his and began to breath the
smoke into my mouth. I sucked in the smoke from his mouth. He said this was
called "shot- gunning" and I found it very sexy.

Before long, we were naked and making love to each other. Mark wanted me to
fuck him first and then he fucked me. We switched back and forth until we
had each cum at least four times. We lay on the bed in a sweaty, exhausted
tangle when Mark suddenly buried his face in my stomach and started to
cry. I had never seen Mark this emotional. Deep sobs wracked his body while
I tried to hold him and comfort him. I couldn't imagine what was wrong.

Finally, he stopped crying, and then he pushed me away. I couldn't
understand what was happening. Then I heard Mark say that we had to stop
doing this. That we couldn't have sex with each other anymore and, in fact,
we couldn't even see each other anymore. I was completely overwhelmed. I
wanted to cry but was too shocked to do so.

Mark started pacing the room and ranting about the fact that he didn't want
to be "queer". He wanted to fuck girls and have a normal life. He didn't
want to be a faggot and if he kept seeing me that is exactly what he would
end up being.

Then he started to cry again. I went over to him, but he pushed me away
again. This time, so hard that I fell and must have hit my head against the
edge of the desk. I passed out cold.

When I came to, Mark was gone. There was blood dripping from my head and my
parents were hovering over me. My father gathered me up in his arm and,
with my mother's help, got some shorts and a T-shirt on me and then took me
to the hospital. The blood was from a slight scalp wound but I had a
concussion and the hospital wouldn't release me until the next day.

When my parents brought me home, the Petersens were waiting for us. We all
sat down in the living room and my father started to question me.

"What happened last night? How did you hit your head?" he asked.

"It was really nothing, Dad, honest!" I said, trying to shield Mark from
any blame.

"Did Mark hit you?" he asked bluntly.

"No!" I replied angrily.

"What happened then?" he asked me again.

"Mark got very upset and I tried to comfort him. He pushed me away and I
fell. That's how it happened. It wasn't Mark's fault. He didn't mean to
hurt me!" I cried.

"When did you see Mark last?" Mr. Petersen asked me.

"I kind of passed out. When I came to, Mark was gone." I answered.

"So you never saw him again last night?" My father asked.

"NO! What's this all about? Where is Mark? Has he run away?" I asked
frantically.

The adults all looked at each other but not at me. I knew something was
horribly, terribly wrong.

"What's happened? Has something happened to Mark?" I started screaming.

My Dad came over and pulled me into his arms. He held me very tight and
began to talk to me very quietly.

"Bobby, sometimes things happen that no one can predict. Sometimes people
do things and we don't know why. There's no other way to tell you this but
straight out. Mark killed himself last night. He took Mr. Petersen's gun
and shot himself. By the time someone found him, he was dead."

I searched my father's face, praying that he was joking. Praying that this
was all some horrible, grotesque practical joke. But I knew it wasn't. I
screamed once and that is all I remember.

I woke up sometime later. I found out it was almost a day later. My Dad was
sitting by my bed watching me. I opened my eyes hoping that it had all been
a bad dream. But the look of concern on my Dad's face told me that it
wasn't. Mark was dead. Dead at his own hand. His loving me had driven him
to kill himself. I wanted to die, too! I had no reason left for living.

"I know how much you must love Mark." My Dad said. I just stared at him.

"Mark left a note for you. It was clutched in his hand when they found
him." my Dad said, handing a crumpled piece of notebook paper out to me.

I took it in my trembling hands and read it.

Dear Bobby,

I'm sorry for all those stupid things I said to you. All you have ever done
is offer me more love than anyone else ever has in my whole life. More love
than I deserve. I've tried so hard not to love you. I didn't want to be
this way, and I'm afraid that now I've made you this way as well. I can't
live with that anymore. I always thought that we'd just end up as
friends. That these feelings would just go away when we got older. But they
just keep getting stronger. One of the guys on the team saw us a month ago
out in the woods behind the school. He saw me kiss you. Now everybody on
the team knows that I'm queer. I had to quit last week because I just
couldn't take the insults anymore. I thought that would end it, but now,
other guys in school are starting to make comments as well. I'm sorry,
Bobby, I just can't live like this. I don't have any family I can turn
to. You never asked, so I never told you but my father was a drunk who used
to beat me all the time and when I was 8 he raped me. My mother was a
hooker and a drug addict who had died after I was born. I ran away after my
what my dad did to me and that's how I ended up in foster care. Maybe if I
had parents like yours, parents who loved me, I could have made it. I want
you to know that I do love you. I always have and I always will. Please
forgive me for not being stronger.

Mark

When I finished reading it, I broke down in tears. My Dad came and took me
in his arms and let me cry. I cried for a long time.

"I loved him, Daddy, I really did!" I sobbed.

"I know, son, I know." my Dad said, gently stroking my hair.

"Do you hate me for that?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"Of course not!" My Dad said. "How could I hate you for loving
someone. Especially someone who obviously loved you very, very much."

"But it was queer!" I sobbed.

"Now stop that!" he almost yelled at me. "I don't want to ever hear that
word out of your mouth again! The only thing that made Mark kill himself
was the stupid bigottry and hatred of other people who use that word! Those
people's hate is worse than anything that you or Mark could ever have done!
If you want to use a word, use the word 'gay'. And whatever you're going to
be, be proud of yourself. Don't let other people's opinions make you so
hate yourself that what happened to Mark could happen to you!"

"No, Daddy, I would never kill myself. I couldn't do that to you or
mom. I'm sorry." I replied.

He didn't say anything else to me, just held me tighter as we sat there.

A few days later, there was a funeral for Mark. The only people that came
were the Peteresens, the other foster children, my mom and dad, Mark's
social worker and me. The state doesn't pay for funerals for foster care
kids. I found out later that my Dad had paid for it and the beautiful
casket that held Mark's lifeless body. When the funeral was over, everyone
left except my parents and me.

"We'll leave you alone for a while." my Dad said to me, taking my mother's
arm and leading her to the car.

I stood looking down at the casket, trying to picture Mark laying there but
the picture just wouldn't come to me. All I could see was the Mark I knew
and loved. The Mark who made love to me and held me and kissed me. I
finally knelt down and leaned my body over the glossy wood, hugging the
casket and started to talk to him.

"Mark, I love you, too. You know that. I always will. I will never, ever
forget you! You didn't have to do this. If you'd only told me what happened
we could have found a way to work this out. You never knew it, but my
parents would have helped. They thought of you like a son, too.  We all
loved you. I just wish it had been enough. I miss you. I always will."

I cried a few more tears and then I walked slowly back to the car.

As I sat there in bed thinking over all that had happened, I began to cry
again. To cry for Mark, a boy I loved who just couldn't bring himself to
accept who he was. And to cry for my loss of him.

Shawn must have heard me crying because the next thing I knew, he was there
with his strong arms around me, asking me what was wrong.

I looked up into his deep green eyes and saw the concern. I felt badly that
I had awakened him and caused this concern in him. I guess the time had
come to share with him this 'ghost' from my 'closet'.

"I didn't mean to wake you, love." I said. "This is nothing to do with
us. It's something that happened a long time ago. There was this beautiful
boy named Mark..." I began.


The End of Part XI

There are studies that show that up to 87% of the suicides of males between
the ages of 13 and 21 in this country are related to what psychologists
call "confusion in sexual orientation". In other words, young guys trying
to come to terms with being Gay and not being able to handle it because of
the terrible homophobia which still exists in this society. 33 years after
Stonewall, we still have Gay bashings and assaults against Gay people in
our society an in our schools. While this story of Bobby and Mark is not
true, it all too easily could be.

I hope you enjoyed at least the earlier part of the story. I know that last
part was difficult to read.  It was equally difficult to write. So much so
that I buried this chapter and never sent it to Nifty. I only realized what
I had done when I sent in Chapter XII and was notified that I had never
sent in Chapter XI. You perhaps can understand why.

I know that most of you think that writers have complete control over their
stories, and maybe some do. But I don't. It's like once I create the
characters and set the scene, they seem to take on a life of their own. I
didn't want to write something like this, but I always knew that there was
a 'dark side' to Bobby's life and I wanted to know what it was. I'm almost
sorry I did. But now I understand him better, his love for Shawn and the
fear he has of losing him. I hope you understand better as well.

Please consider making a donation to keep this site open and free. I have
received fan mail from males who are the ages of Bobby and Mark in this
story. I have been thrilled to realize that there is a place that they can
go to read about the fact that loving someone of your own sex is not wrong
and, in fact, can be quite wonderful. I think that resource is worth
keeping.

Thank you.

RimPig