Date: Tue, 3 Dec 2002 15:18:27 -0800 (PST) From: rimpigfl Subject: MY DAUGHTER'S EX BOYFRIEND 11 Disclaimer: Usual stuff. This is fiction. Didn't happen to my knowledge. Some of the parts I hope never does. This story is dedicated to several people: My friend Bob in Illinois who's constant love and support over the last few years has seen me through some very rough times. Thank you, Bob, for always being there. My friend Geoff in England who's love and concern saw me through some of the very rough patches I went through writing this. My friend Joshua, wherever you are. I promise, Joshua, that I will never forget. And last, but NEVER least - to all Gay and Bi-Sexual members of the United States Marine Corps who continue to serve with bravery and distinction despite the persecution that they risk. To me, they are the true Heros. MY DAUGHTER'S EX BOYFRIEND Part 11 By RimPig (c) 2002 It was about a week before the wedding and I was working at my desk when Shirley buzzed me on the intercom. "There's a man here to see you. He won't give me his name but he says he knows you." she said. While odd, I figured 'What the hell' and told her to send him in. The door opened and my heart lurched in my chest. I couldn't believe it! Standing there, filling the doorway, was Randy! "How's it hangin', buddy?!" he said, standing there grinning at me. The years since I had seen him had been very good to him. He was still incredibly handsome and his golden blond hair was longer, flowing down in waves to below his shoulders. He was still extremely well built and seemed to have put on even more muscles than he had in high school. Standing there, he seemed to fill the room. He was wearing a plaid flannel shirt, jeans and workboots. Golden hair was curling out of the opening his shirt. I quickly got up from the desk and approached him. I started to stick my hand out to shake his but he ignored it and pulled me into a tight bear-hug. I hugged him back and felt the hard, bulging muscles beneath his clothes. He held me much longer than was necessary than a simple hug and I felt my cock begin to harden. More than that, I thought sure I could feel a corresponding hardening in his package which was pressing against mine. Still holding each other we pulled back slightly to look at each other. I looked into his incredible dark eyes and saw a softness and a caring I never remember ever seeing there when we were young. I had trouble pulling away from his gaze. On top of that, I could smell his scent strongly. A scent I remembered so well. It is said that scent is the human sense that is best at triggering memories and my memories of him and me together were flooding back into my mind. I didn't know where to look but I suddenly knew that if I continued to look into his eyes, something would happen and, while I didn't know what, I was terribly afraid of what it might be. We finally let go of each other and stepped back, I think both of us embarrassed by the intimacy which had passed between us. We nervously laughed and I asked him to sit down, indicating the couch while I stuck my head out of the door and asked Shirley to get us coffee. Then I turned back and moved to the couch. I noticed that I was breathing more heavily and my body was tingling with tension and nervousness. It was so wonderful to see Randy again, but so awful at the same time! I didn't know what to say, what to tell him, even how to act around him. How do you act with an ex-lover who never admitted to being one? I wondered, too, what he was thinking. Was he thinking about what we had meant to each other? Was he remembering, as I was, the touch and feel of our bodies as we pleasured each other? I sat down but kept distance between us. I couldn't be close to him. I was too aware of the effect he was having on me just being in the room. Touching him again had sent sense memories running though my body which had triggered such sexual tension within me that I could barely stand it. I wanted so badly to reach out and touch him. I wanted to make love to him. I realized that there were still very strong feelings inside me for him. And I didn't know what the fuck to do with them! "So all this is your's, buddy? Quite impressive!" Randy said, looking around my office. "Yeah. It took a lot of hard work to get here and still a lot of hard work to keep it all going." I told him. "But you look great! You look happy. Things must be going really good for you!" Randy said. "Yeah. They really are." I admitted, thinking to myself 'More than you know!' and wondering how much of what was going on in my life I could tell him. "So how's the wife and kid? Or is it 'kids' now?" he asked. "I divorced Melissa's mother ten years ago. I finally woke up and discovered her whoring around and dumped her. Melissa's 16 now and - God forbid! - dating!" I said. "I'm sorry." he said, really sounding like he meant it. " I always wondered what happened. I kind of figured that you would come to your senses about that eventually." "Yeah! Took me six fucking years to finally do it, though. I guess I wanted Melissa to have a normal family so much I was willing to overlook almost anything. Looking back now, I don't think it was the brightest thing I ever did." I said, shaking my head. "We both made a lot of mistakes back in those days." Randy said. "I've carried around a lot of guilt over running away." "What do you mean, 'running away'? You went to college to do something with your life." I said. "Yeah, but it gave me a perfect excuse to run away from everything I couldn't deal with. Especially you." he said, looking me deep in the eyes. "What are you talking about?" I said, afraid that I knew exactly what he was talking about! "I don't know any other way to put this, Mike. I just hope and pray you won't hate me or be disgusted with me for saying it. I was in love with you. Totally and completely. I just couldn't deal with it! And then when you had a kid and got married - I thought I'd go completely insane! I figured that was the end of any chance that we'd ever be together and so I split. I'm sorry. I never stopped loving you. Now you can tell me to get out and never come back, if you want to." he said this last quietly. I looked at him and saw such pain and fear in his eyes that I completely forgot the devastating effect just touching him had on me. I reached out and took him in my arms. We held each other and suddenly the tears came, from both of us. There we were, two grown men, hanging on each other and crying our hearts out. I had just begun to pull myself together when I heard a knock at the door. Oh, God! It was Shirley with the coffee! Randy and I pulled away quickly from each other and I went to the door to intercept her. She handed me a tray with the coffee on it and looked at me funny. "Is everything all right?" she asked, obviously being able to see that I'd been crying. "Yes, Shirley, everything ok. Please cancel all the rest of my appointments today. I don't want to be disturbed." I said. "Ok. Do you want me to reschedule them?" she asked. "Yes, that would be fine." I said. She walked away and I closed the door, this time locking it. I turned back to Randy and he was sitting hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees and his face in his hands. I walked back over to the couch and put my arms around him again. He laid back against me and put his head on my shoulder. He'd stopped crying but I could see he was still very distraught. I stroked his hair and began speaking to him, my voice low and almost crooning. "Randy, man! It's ok. I loved you, too. More than I could ever tell you. I didn't know what to do with it either! I just pushed it all down and went into a shell. My only outlets were work and Melissa. God! Without her, I think I would have probably ended up fucked up on drugs or even killing myself. It's only been within the last six months that I really realized how much I loved you. And that only happened finally because I was forced to face myself in a way I never thought would happen." I told him. He looked at me, his beautiful dark eyes ringed in red from his tears. "What happened?" he asked. "I've fallen in love again. I hadn't been with anybody since the divorce. Never dated, never let anybody close to me. Now, in a week, I'm going to get married. I have never been happier or more in love in my life." I told him. "She must be quite a lady." he said, stiffening in my arms. "Who said it was a woman?" I asked, gently smiling at him. The look on his face was one of complete shock and surprise, but happy. Like I'd just told him I'd won the Lottery or something. "Oh, God! Mike! That's wonderful!" he exclaimed. "He must be a wonderful guy!" "Yes, he is. A very wonderful and very unique guy." I said and thought to myself 'Oh, boy! What a unique guy!' and wondered how Randy was going to take the difference in Troy and my ages. "So how did you two meet?" he asked. Well, here it was. I was going to have to tell him. I just hoped he'd be able to handle it. "He was dating Melissa." I said quietly. Randy just sat there for a moment looking at me. I couldn't tell exactly what he was thinking and as the silence grew longer, I began to have some deep concerns that Randy was having some difficulty in getting his mind around the situation. "Mike, how old is he?" he asked quietly. "He'll be 18 in about two months." I answered. "Fuck! Mike! That's statutory rape if anybody finds out, buddy!" he said. "Yes, I know. I didn't go after him. He was after me, the whole time he was dating Melissa. It was after she broke up with him that he came to the house one night to see me." I said. "And the most important people do know. His mother, in fact, is planning the wedding and insisted three months ago that Troy move in with me so that we could be together." "Fuck! You've got to be kidding me! How the fuck did Melissa take it?" he asked. "She's helping to plan the fucking wedding!" I said. I went on and told him the whole story about Troy and me. He listened very intently and asked a few questions in between. When it was all out, I looked at him. "I really want to meet him, Mike. He sounds like a really terrific guy!" Randy said and I breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, he is. And I find out he's more terrific every day." I said. "Well, you're definitely in love!" Randy laughed. "So what about you? What ever happened in your life?" I asked. "I was so hurt over leaving you that I did something I'd never done before. I threw myself into studying!" he gave me a rueful grin. "Ended up acing every course I took and got accepted into the Medical School at Harvard. So I'm a doctor now, specializing in Trauma Medicine. I just moved back here to take over the ER at County General. I was tired of living away from home. I wanted to come back. I was just afraid of what would happen between us after all these years." "Why? Did you expect me to hate you?" I asked. "Actually, in my mind, I kind of figured that would be easier to deal with." he said. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I fell in love, too, Mike. He's a wonderful guy, a Nurse/Practitioner. His expertise is in treating people with AIDS. We've been together for five years now. When this opening at County General came, he gave up his practice in Boston and moved here with me. It's the only way I could come back. I didn't want to live in Boston anymore, but I couldn't live without him - and he knows it." he said. And as he talked about his lover, I could see in his eyes how much love he had for him. "I'm so happy for you!" I said, really meaning it. "Yeah. So you see how difficult I knew seeing you again would be! I didn't know how much of the old feelings were still there. I gotta tell you, just holding you, having you close, being able to smell your scent again, it really rocked me inside. I love Jamie and I've never been unfaithful to him but it was all I could do not to rip your clothes off and take you right on the floor!" he said, his eyes boring into mine. "And I felt exactly the same way." I said quietly. "I kinda sensed that." he replied. "I love Troy more than I ever thought it was possible to love somebody. I would kill myself before I'd hurt him. I still had all those memories of you, but I also had a terrible resentment where you were concerned." I said. "About me running out on you?" he asked. "No. About you never allowing our relationship to really develop. You never once said that you loved me." I said. "I'll admit, I was just as bad as you were. I never said it either." "We were both too fucking young and stupid! I know that now. I was just so afraid you'd turn on me if I ever told you how I felt!" he said, his voice taking on a note of despair. "And I felt exactly the same way! I couldn't take the chance of losing you! And ended up losing you anyway." I said sadly. "Yeah. We both lost out." "Look at this." I said, holding out my left hand with Troy's class ring on it. "That's not our class ring." Mike said, looking at me with a puzzled expression. "No, it's Troy's. We exchanged rings months ago when we first fell in love. I bought a ring for him and he gave me this in exchange. Remember when we got ours? That's what I wanted from you. I wanted so badly to wear your class ring and have you wear mine. But I couldn't bring myself to even mention it. When Troy put this on my finger, I broke down and cried thinking about you all those years ago. I've told him all about you. I've told him all about us." I said. "Yeah, Jamie knows all about us, too. In fact, he was the one who forced me to come and see you today. We've been living here for over a month now and I just couldn't build up the courage to face you! I've driven past your house a number of times, hoping to catch a glimpse of you but never lucked out. Jamie finally threatened to cut off sex until I'd come to see you! And, as you well know, that's something I can't live without!" he laughed. "Me either!" I laughed. "Except I did. For ten years. From the time I divorced until that first night with Troy there had never been anyone. I don't know how I lived through it! I've certainly been making up for lost time since! You remember how horny we were at 17? Well, Troy was a virgin when we went to bed the first time! I unleashed a monster 'horndog' and I've been trying to satisfy it ever since!" We both sat there laughing over this. "Well, if the demands outstrip the ability, I could always write you a script for Viagra!" he joked. "Fuck that! What I need is 'reverse-Viagra'! Every time I get near him I get a hardon!" I exclaimed. "Well, you certainly don't look the worse for wear." he said softly. "You're still as beautiful as you were all those years ago. I like the longer hair. It looks good on you. And you must really do some serious lifting to have put on all the muscle that you have!" I said, looking into his beautiful, dark eyes. "Yeah. I find it's the only thing other than sex that relieves the tension from working Trauma. I love it, but it's a killer schedule! The worst thing about it is that if fucks up the time that Jamie and I have to spend together. But we work it out. When things get really bad, I've fucked him in the doctor's lounge at the hospital!" he laughed. "You seem to have kept in great shape as well." "That's how I kept from going crazy without having any sex! I have about the best private gym in my house that you will ever find! Troy and I work out together there. The great thing is, we can work out and fuck right there if we feel like it - which we often do!" I told him. "So what's with this 'wedding'?" Randy asked. "You're not legally getting married. That's impossible except in Denmark and Holland." "No, this isn't about legalities. Like I told you, Troy and I are doing this for his Mom and for Melissa. They want it. Well...Troy wants it, too. Seems he wants to tell the whole world that he loves me, but I held it down to just a few people! Say! Is it possible for you and Jamie to come? It's this Saturday afternoon. I know Troy would love it if you could be there. And I would too. In fact, I'd love to have you be my 'best man', if you'd do it?" I said. "I'm sure that Jamie and I would love to come. I know that I can and I'm pretty sure his schedule's clear but I'll check with him. I'm really honored that you want me as your best man but are you sure Troy will be ok with that? I mean, I've got some trepidation about actually seeing you in the arms of another guy." he admitted. "As I do. I don't know how I'll feel seeing Jamie and you together. But I propose that we find out. How about the two of you having dinner with Troy and I tonight? That way we could all get to meet each other. Besides, I'd like you to see Melissa again. What was she, about three when you saw her last?" I asked. "Yeah. About that. Let me check with Jamie about his schedule but I don't foresee any problem. He's free tonight as far as I know and so am I. I'll call if there's any problem. Otherwise, we'll see you...what?...about 7?" he asked. "Yes, that would be fine. You know where the house is." I said. "Yes, I know where the house is." he answered. "Look, Mike, I'd love to stay and talk more, but I've got to get back to the hospital and finish a few things up so that I can be free tonight. I don't want to go, but I have to. You understand?" "Yes, I understand. I'm just so glad that you finally came to see me. Beyond everything else, you were always my best friend and I've missed you so much." I said. We stood up and embraced each other. I could feel the love pouring from Randy and I knew he could sense what I was feeling for him. But it was different. Somehow a lot of the sexual tension was gone. I so hoped that we could remain close friends even though we'd never be lovers. As he left the office, I looked over a Shirley and she looked back with one eyebrow raised in question. "There are probably going to be two more guests for the wedding. Is that a problem?" I asked her. "No, that won't be a problem. But that man sure looked like one." she said. "That was Randy. Randy and I were best friends and lovers when I was young. We haven't seen each other in over ten years. He has a lover who will be coming with him. The four of us, including Troy, are going to have dinner together tonight. You can stop worrying. Randy and I needed to talk some things out, bring closure to a few things." I explained. "Ok. I know it's none of my business. I just don't want to see you screwing things up when they are so wonderful!" she said, her eyes full of mischief. "I don't intend to." I grinned. "Men never do!" she laughed. I left work early because I wanted to be home when Troy got there to tell him about Randy and Jamie coming for dinner. He came bounding in the door bubbling with news of his own. "Mike! Guess what! I've been invited to enter a jury show!" he beamed at me while I hugged him and after we had kissed. "Well! That's quite an honor for a student! How did this come about?" I asked, proud of his accomplishment. "Dr. Karren knew someone on the committee and showed him some of my works. The invitation was extended today. And, yes, it is quite and honor. Dr. Karren wants to see the painting of the Wounded Marine. He thinks, from what I've told him of it, that I should enter it in the show." he said. "Just so long as it's clearly marked 'Not For Sale'" I said. "Of course it's not for sale! Besides, it doesn't belong to me anymore. I was going to wait, but I guess I'd better tell you now. It's my wedding present to you. You said you were marrying me to get your hands on it, well, now it's yours!" he giggled. "Troy! You're joking, right?!" I was incredulous at him offering me this. "No, I'm not. As far as I'm concerned, the painting is yours." he said. "Well...as grateful as I am, I'm afraid I can't accept it. You see, as far as I'm concerned there isn't any 'yours' or 'mine', there's just ours. I have to wait until you absolutely turn 18 for me to give you my wedding present to you. Minors can't own property in this state and I'm putting the house in both our names." I told him. "You're kidding!" he said. "No I'm not. It's called JTROS - Joint Tenancy with Right Of Survivorship. That way, if something happens to either one of us, the house automatically reverts to the other without going through probate." I explained. "But what about Melissa?" he asked. "Melissa is well taken care of. If anything happens to me, she gets half of the business. The other half goes to you." I told him. "Oh, my God! I don't know anything about running a business!" he said. "Not now you don't. And I don't intend on dying anytime soon either! There's time for you to learn. That is, if you don't fuck me to death first!" I laughed. "You keep saying that, but it wasn't me who was shoving his cock up my ass at 3:00 a.m.!" he giggled. I laughed along with him. I had woken up very horny and his naked butt was right there where I could see it. The temptation had been too great for me. But I had other news on my mind right then and knew I needed to get it over with. "Troy, please sit down. There is something we need to discuss." I said. "Uh oh! Sounds serious." he said. "No, not serious, just important." I said. He gave me a quizzical look but sat down at the kitchen table. I sat down with him. "I know you remember me telling you about Randy." I began. "Yes, I remember. Your first lover." he said. "Well, yes, in a way. But we never even said those words to each other. But I guess he would qualify. At any rate, he's moved back to town and came to see me at the office today." I said, watching Troy's face for his reaction. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be, but his face did suddenly loose all color. In a very shaky and hesitant voice he asked, "And what did he say?" "He told me that he had loved me all those years ago and apologized to me for running out on me because he couldn't deal with his feelings toward me. He's become a doctor and has taken a position at County General. Now, in the mean time, he also acquired a lover - a nurse. The two of them moved here a month ago. His lover is a male named Jamie. I told Randy all about you and about the wedding." I told him. As I told him about Randy having a lover, I heard a deep sigh come from him and he visibly relaxed. I didn't make any notice of this, being very glad that Troy was handling things as well as he was. "So did you guys have a long talk?" he asked. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to find out how much time we'd spent alone together. "Troy, we talked for a couple of hours then he had to go back to the hospital. I'm not going to lie to you. I did not have sex with him, but there was a part of me that really wanted to. The same for him. But he's in love with Jamie and I'm in love with you and we both understand that. I think that clearing the air between us about who and what we are was more helpful than anything." I said. "I'm sorry. I guess it was very hard for you. I know how much you loved him. I can imagine that you would have very strong feelings as well as a very strong attraction for him. When you first told me that he was back in town, I got scared." he said, his head hanging down. "Don't Troy! Don't do that to yourself! I promised I would never intentionally hurt you and I meant it! I'm not going to leave you for Randy! Even if Jamie wasn't in the picture - I could never, ever do that to you. I love you. Much more than I love Randy. But I do love him, but now as a friend. My best friend for most of my growing up years. I've asked them here to dinner tonight so that I can get to meet Jamie and Randy can get to meet you. I want us to all be friends. I hope that's ok with you. If it isn't, I can call and cancel." I offered. "No! I would love to meet them! We don't know another gay couple except for Shirley and Amanda and they're women. I'd love to meet another gay male couple. Especially since I know how much you care about Randy!" he insisted. "You're ok with this? You can handle Randy being here?' I asked. "I would think that the one's having the problem would be you and Randy. Seeing each other with someone else is not going to be easy on either of you." he said. I was stunned by this statement. "Well...yes...you're right. Randy and I already talked about that. I forget, sometimes, how perceptive you are!" I said in amazement. He smiled. "I've also invited them to the wedding if it's ok with you? I've also asked Randy to be my best man." I said. "That's fine with me, Mike! I've actually been thinking of asking Melissa to be my 'maid of honor', so to speak!" he laughed. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least this part of the situation was going ok. How I would react to seeing Randy with someone else was another matter entirely. But I would cope. I reached over and put my arms around Troy and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you." I said. "You're welcome. I really am glad that you were able to talk to Randy and finally tell him how you felt about him. I know that's got to be a load off you. I only wish I could do the same with my Dad." he said, his eyes getting wistful. "I really hope that maybe someday you can." I replied. There was a knock at the door just a few minutes before 7:00 p.m. and I opened it. There was Randy and beside him a stunningly beautiful younger male with auburn hair and green eyes. He was shorter than Randy, probably about 5' 9" and not as bulked, probably about 160 lbs. He was slim with a swimmer's build. He had a beautiful smile. I figured him for about 24 or 25. I found out later he was 24. So Randy and I both had much younger lovers! "Hi, Mike, we're not too early, are we?" he asked. "No, you're right on time." I smiled and reached out my hand. "You must be Jamie." "And you must be the illustrious Mike!" he laughed. "You are much better looking than you were described! But then I figured that." he said, poking Randy in the ribs with his elbow and laughing. "Hey!" Randy yelped. "What did you want me to say? That he was gorgeous! I didn't want you getting jealous. Mike, I sure hope, for your sake that Troy doesn't have red hair!" and he laughed. "Well, come on in and see for yourself. TROY!!!" I yelled. Troy came out of the bedroom where he'd spent the last two hours while I'd been in the kitchen cooking. When he walked out, I understood why. He was stunningly beautiful. I was sure an awful lot of thought and changing in front of the full-length mirror in our bedroom had created the outfit he was attired in. He was wearing a black silk knit pullover that had gold threads running through it and which clung to his body like a second skin and showed off every bit of his muscular development. He was wearing a matching pair of jet black jeans and a pair of black loafers which had been highly polished. The outfit complimented his blond hair and coloring. I was stunned by him and very proud at the same time to call this incredibly beautiful young male my lover. Troy walked unerringly over to Randy, held out his hand and said, "You must be Randy. I've heard so much about you." I could see from their faces that Randy and Jamie were equally stunned and impressed by Troy. Randy took Troy's hand and smiled at him. "Yes, I'm Randy. And this is my lover, Jamie." Indicating the beautiful young man next to him. Troy took Jamie's hand and said, "I'm so glad to meet you." "And I you!" Jamie said, giving Troy a knowing look. Troy's poise and the maturity he was displaying was a facet of his personality I'd never seen before. I'm sure that it was all about being the youngest male in the group and wanting so badly to not only make a good impression but establish that he was well suited to be considered as my lover. I was so proud of him at that moment, I could have cried. Instead I reached over and put my arm around his shoulder and hugged him to me. He turned to me, his eyes luminous and gave me that 'killer' smile. He knew he'd done well and how proud I was of him. At first, the evening was uncomfortable for all of us. The underlying currents were evident in how we reacted to one another. Conversation was disjointed and intermittent as we tried to cover over all the tension in the room. Every time that Randy and I spoke to each other, I noticed both Troy and Jamie watching us, obviously assessing what was happening between us. At first, I felt like I was walking on eggs! I was almost afraid to say anything to Randy at all. I went to the kitchen to check on dinner and as I walked through the door, I felt like a terrible amount of pressure lift off me. I actually felt like running out the back door and just disappearing! This couldn't go on like this. But I didn't know what to do, how to break through the walls of suspicion which nobody was talking about but that I could feel. I figured I could confront it on at least one level. So I poked my head through the kitchen door and asked Troy to come in and help me with something. "What do you need, Mike?" said Troy, walking through the door. "I need to talk to you. Look, I can't even begin to tell you how uncomfortable I am right now. I'm beginning to believe this dinner was the worst mistake I ever made in my life." I said. "Why? What's wrong?" he asked. "I could ask you the same question. I'm sitting there watching you and Jamie watching Randy and me like hawks looking for dinner! Troy, I love you. I don't want anyone else but you! I don't want to be Randy's lover. I want to be yours. I don't know how many times I have to say that until I feel like you believe it! I'm really feeling like you don't trust me. And that hurts!" I said, my emotions slipping out. Troy stood there looking at me and then his head dropped. I heard his voice coming very low, almost to quiet for me to hear. "I'm sorry. I took one look at him and I felt like there was no way I could ever measure up to him!" he said. I pulled him into my arms and held him, his head against my chest, stroking his hair. "You don't have to! I don't want you to measure up to Randy! I love you! The person that I love and want is all you have to be! And that's who you already are! You don't have to be anything else! Just please trust me. I told you that I never want to hurt you. If you can't deal with this, I will tell Randy that we can never see them again. But things can't go on like this. I can't take it." I told him. I didn't know what else to say. "God, Mike. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you like this. I just couldn't help myself! I was so scared looking at him that you'd want him more. After all, you loved him first." he murmured into my chest. "Yes, I loved him first. But we never told each other that. Things would have been different if we had but we didn't. He's moved on with his life and he loves Jamie. I've moved on with mine and I'm marrying you on Saturday. Doesn't that say something to you? If you don't trust me then why are you marrying me? If you think I'm going to leave you for Randy then we shouldn't be making those kind of vows to each other. We shouldn't be getting married." I said. I felt him tense in my arms. I knew I'd really struck a nerve with that. I intended to. I couldn't live with the idea that Troy didn't trust me and, as far as I was concerned, I wasn't about to. I had never lied to him, never given him a reason to distrust me and I wasn't going to accept living with that distrust - especially since I didn't deserve it. Troy looked at me, searching my face. He could see that I was hurt, angry and perfectly serious. I think he realized that our entire relationship hinged on what happened next. And that it was up to him. He was the one who brought this distrust into our lives and he was the one who was going to have to get rid of it or we would have no life together. It certainly wasn't what I wanted, but I couldn't stand having my own integrity questioned by the person I loved. Especially since I had given him no reason to question it to begin with. He pulled out of my arms and walked across the kitchen. I couldn't tell what he was thinking because his back was to me. Maybe this was the end of our relationship. I hadn't intended this conversation to reach that point, but somehow it had. I flashed back to what Shirley had said to me just that afternoon - when I told her I had no intention of screwing things up with Troy - "Men never do!". "You're right, Mike. If I can't trust you, we have no business getting married." he said. Oh, God! My heart fell to my shoes! I'd done it, I'd screwed everything up and I was going to lose him. I almost cried out but I was glad I didn't when he turned around to face me and continued. "And the only reason I'm not trusting you is because I'm being an asshole again! You're absolutely right. You've never given me any reason to believe that you wanted Randy more than me. You've never lied to me. You've never given me any reason to distrust you at all. I'm beginning to wonder how you can love me when I treat you like this! I don't know why you'd even want to marry me!" he said, and I saw tears start to slide down his face. I crossed the kitchen and took him back into my arms. I held him while he got himself under control, gently stroking his soft hair. Finally, he looked up at me, his eyes red from his tears. "Can you forgive me?" he asked. "Yes. I can forgive you. I want to marry you. ONLY you! Nobody else. Yes, I loved Randy. I still care about him. He was my best friend growing up. That's all I want from him now is his friendship. But if you can't handle that, I promise you, I'll never see or speak to him again. Is that what you want?" I asked, afraid that he did. "No! That's not what I want! That wouldn't be fair to you at all! This isn't your fault - or his! Of course, what I really want is that he never existed at all! But that's stupid and impossible. I just want not to hurt you." he said. "Then all you have to do is trust me. Trust that I love you and only you. That I want you and only you. Because it's true." I said, gently kissing him. "I know." he said, breaking the kiss and looking deep into my eyes. "By the way, I've never seen you look more beautiful than you do tonight. Well, except when you're naked." I grinned. "And I thought Randy and Jamie's eyes were going to pop out of their heads when they saw you. Speaking of which, we'd better get back in there, don't you think?" I asked. "Just let me throw some cold water on my face. I don't want them to know that I've been crying." he said. Two minutes later, we went back to the living room. I apologized for Troy and I being so long. Jamie and Randy sat there and were uneasily looking back and forth at each other and at Troy and me. Finally it was Jamie that spoke. "Mike...Troy...I owe you both an apology." Jamie said, looking at Randy who didn't look very happy at the moment. "What for?" I asked. "I came here tonight expecting to...well, I don't know what I was expecting. Actually, I thought that I had completely gotten over any jealousy I had of you and your place in Randy's life. I thought that all the way up until you opened the door. I saw you and this horrible feeling of inadequacy came over me! I suddenly, and I want to point out - for no reason whatever! - found myself sure that Randy was going to leave me to go back to you. I guess in some ways that's a very 'backhanded' compliment. You are quite a stunning man, Mike. I can clearly see why Randy was in love with you - and why Troy is, for that matter. Randy and I had a discussion while you two were in the kitchen and it was firmly pointed out to me what a complete asshole I was being, so I want to apologize and tell you that I hope we can all become friends. I know that you and Randy have been friends for a very long time and I don't want that friendship to end - especially on my account." Jamie said. I didn't know what to say. Luckily, at that point, Troy broke the tension for all of us by giggling. Randy and Jamie both looked at him oddly. "I'm sorry! I just had the fact that I was being an asshole pointed out to me in the kitchen because I was feeling the same thing! I owe both of you an apology for how I behaved. I've already apologized to Mike, he'll just have to wait until later to get the rest of my apology." he said, and then realizing what he'd just said, started blushing. Jamie, Randy and I all howled over Troy's embarrassment. I pulled Troy to me and kissed him. Then Troy got up and went over to Randy and leaned down and hugged him. I saw Randy return the hug and I was feeling incredibly happy at the turn of events. Troy next hugged Jamie and then Jamie came over and hugged me. Finally it was just Randy and I standing there staring at each other. I think I knew what was going on in his mind because it was going on in mine. Should we hug? How would our lovers react if we did? How would they react if we didn't? And better yet, how would we react to being in each other's arms again? Jamie and Troy were looking at us, expecting us to hug. I looked at Randy and he looked at me. Then he held out his arms. I went to him and the hug was warm and loving. Oh, I won't say there wasn't a certain thrill of remembrance but it was much more loving than sexual. I looked at him and he looked at me and we smiled at each other. We were together again. Not as lovers but what we had always been - best friends! The rest of the evening was great fun and Randy and Jamie both said that the next dinner was at their house - and soon! They would be at the wedding on Saturday and Randy agreed to be my best man. He was glad to hear that he wouldn't have to rent a tux for the occasion. They said goodnight and we all hugged, much less self-conscious about it than before. I had to admit to myself that I still liked being in Randy's arms, even if it was only for a few moments. If I had my way, deep in my heart, I knew that I would love to make love to Randy - if only one more time. Just to know what it would feel like for both of us to truly and fully express our love to each other. But as far as I could see, that would never happen. After we cleaned up and put all the dishes in the dishwasher, we turned off the lights and Troy and I sat for a while on the couch in the dark, him in my arms and resting his head on my chest. "You still love him, don't you?" Troy said quietly, really more a statement than a question. "Of course I do. You wouldn't want me to stop loving him." I said. "Oh? Not that I do, but why not?" he asked and I could hear confusion in his voice. "Because once you love somebody, you never really stop loving them. Oh, the love can change over time and maybe you never see them again for whatever reason, but there is always love for them in your heart. That's the same way I love you. I would never stop loving you - no matter what. So you wouldn't want me to have the ability to stop loving Randy. That would mean I would also have the ability to stop loving you." I told him. "I never thought about it that way. I guess what you say is true." he said. I could tell he still wasn't convinced. "You guess? You, of all people, should 'know'!" I told him. "Me? Why me?" he said. "Because in your life you've already twice seen complete evidence of what I'm saying." I said. "Huh?" he was really puzzled now. "Think about it. Your Dad did just about the worst thing that anybody can do to someone they love. But your mom says she still loves him. And you didn't stop loving him, either." I said. "Yes, I did! I hated him!" Troy said, and I could tell he was getting upset by this but I pressed on anyway because he needed to understand this. "Hate is just another side of the same coin of love, Troy. It's the reaction when someone we love hurts us. Like I said, love changes. Sometimes into hate. But the intense feelings are still there. Positive or negative the feelings are still there. And despite all that he did to you, you still love him." I said. "No I don't!" he said, raising up and looking me in the face. "I feel sorry for him! I don't love him!" His face was hot and red. I knew this was pushing him, but he needed to finally come to terms with these feelings he was bottling up inside. "Go in the bedroom and take a really good look at your painting. Look at it as if you've never seen it before. Look at the tenderness, the protectiveness, the caring that is in it. That painting screams out your love for your father whether you choose to see it or not." I said quietly. He stared at me for a long moment and then slowly got up off the couch and walked into the bedroom. He was there a long time and when he came back, he sat down on the couch next to me and leaned forward and put his face in his hands. He sat there like that a long time. I didn't say a word. I didn't touch him. I knew he needed to feel me near but I also knew that he was very deep inside himself and didn't need to be disturbed until he was ready to talk. Finally he sat up and looked at me. "I see it. I didn't want to! But, you're right. It's all there, just like you said. I thought that I only felt pity for him when I painted it." he said, his voice husky. I knew he'd been crying. "You didn't want to love him because love makes you vulnerable. Loving him meant you would have to feel all the pain of what he did to you emotionally all over again." I said. He threw himself into my arms and put his head on my chest. I could feel the silent sobs wracking his body as I held him and I felt my shirt getting wet from his tears. I just held him and rocked him in my arms until he had finally calmed down again. "What am I going to do?" he murmured into my chest, his voice forlorn. "What can you do?" I quietly asked him. "You don't know where he is and until you're 18 you can't see him. I guess the only thing you can do is the hardest thing of all. You'll just have to try and forgive him. Once you do that, then loving him won't hurt anymore." "How do you know that?" he asked. "Because I had to forgive Randy. And, to some extent, Melissa's mother. I would have gone crazy over these last ten years if I hadn't. You were the one who finally gave me peace. Allowing myself to love you was the final part of that forgiveness - moving on and allowing someone to love me again. Trusting that the same pain, the same betrayal wouldn't happen again." I murmured to him. He looked up and I could see him searching my face. I wasn't exactly sure of what he was looking for until he spoke again. "I told you once that I didn't understand why you 'needed' me. Now, I'm beginning to understand." he said. "I kind of thought you might." I said. "You already know how much I need you." he said. "I've known that since the first night. Not exactly why, that came with time. But your need for me was what got you through my defenses. Before I could even stop you, you'd already captured my heart and I had no choice but to love you and to try to give you what you needed from me." I said. "And you have. I never believed I could love someone as much as I love you. More importantly, I never thought that anybody would love me like you do. You even put up with me being a complete asshole! Like tonight. I'm really sorry." he said and I knew he meant it. "Is that all the apology I get?" I said, grinning at him. He leaned forward and kissed me deeply. That kiss had the same effect it always did, only tonight I was suddenly desperately in need of making love to him. He finally broke the kiss and looked deep into my eyes. "Follow me to the bedroom, if you want the rest of my apology." he said. I wanted! So I did. The End of Part 11 of MY DAUGHTER'S EX BOYFRIEND I hope you enjoyed the story so far. If you did, write me at rimpigfl@yahoo.com. I love to hear from my readers. Also, if you'd like a listing of all my stories on the Nifty Archive, I'll be glad to send you one if you request it. RimPig