Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2012 08:22:45 -0800 (PST)
From: Vincent Salerno <v_salerno@yahoo.com>
Subject: Dirty Movies, Gay Bars & Bromance;  "Cole"

Cole: When Romance Interferes With Lust

In the course of my work I met a man who was extremely attractive to me.
As the months past, it occurred to me that he might be bisexual or gay.  He
was married, like me, but- I don't know- just something told me that he was
sending out some gay vibes.  I was right, although it took me more than a
year to find out.

We were in Montreal at a conference and hanging out after dinner, when he
suggested we go for a drink.  He paused, and said that the bar that had
been suggested to him just might be gay.  He mentioned the name and
location.  Would that bother me?

"I was there last night," I replied with a smile.

And so began a buddy relationship between two compatible married gay
men. Unfortunately, this time, on my part anyway, it became more than a
buddy feeling.  Unfortunate because the feeling of lust and romance that I
felt was not reciprocated.

I love my wife very much, and my family life has always been of utmost
importance to me.  My feelings for men had always been just a sex kind of
thing.  There was no real expectation for anything more than fulfilling
lustful needs. So my strong feelings for Cole took me by surprise and hit
me hard.  The anguish, the torture, the pain. Oh, you've been there?  So,
okay then, enough already.



Another work associate, Stan, picked up on my feelings for Cole, and I
admitted to it.  He treated me to a description of Cole's enormous cock
glanced at an adjacent urinal in a hotel men's room.  Thanks a lot, Stan;
got any more kerosene to throw on this fire?



So did Cole and I eventually have some great sex at least?  Nope, nada.
Cole would tease me once in a while.  A goodnight kiss in a hotel room.
One night, a few years later, lubricated with some wine, I groped him in a
car and he passively allowed it.  Later, we held hands like teenagers.  I
loved it.  It got me higher than a cosmic fuck.

Once Cole and Stan and I were all together after a business meeting.  Stan,
single and more uninhibited than Cole or I, suggested a threesome.  It was
said in a light, joking way.  Neither I nor Cole picked up on it.  I later
learned that Stan and Cole ended up on a bed together in Stan's room,
although they supposedly stopped after a few kisses and gropes.

Oh, well. So what?  But how many times have I wondered about that threesome
that might have been? Too many.