Date: Tue, 27 May 2008 16:44:54 EDT
From: Buontempi@aol.com
Subject: For you I would turn queer

This is a true story.  It happened around 1961 at my first job out of  high
school.

I had strong gay feeling since I was a young boy of 8 or 9.  I was brought
up in a very large macho Italian, Roman Catholic family.  Remember that it
was an era when being gay or having such tendencies was almost a death
knell within most American communities.

At 13 and 14 I did have a friend that got some of his uncles porno
magazines and asked me if I would jerk off with him.  We did this several
nights for a couple of summers in his back yard under the Lilac bushes.  I
had a big cock around 7 inches at the time and his was small, around 4 1/2
to 5 inches.  Both of us are uncut and I use to love watching him jerk off.
He would never cum, however, because he rationalized that it was not a sin
if he just jerked off and didn't cum.  I wanted more, but it was not
possible, He was str8 and I couldn't take the chance.  We kind of parted
when he and I went to different high schools.

After my high school graduation. I got this nice job in and
electro-mechanical factory.  I worked with a nice group of young guys and I
was hot for a few of them.  Looking at the bulges in all those chino pants
and jeans gave me many nights of fantasies.  I jerked off constantly.  By
that time my cock was over 8 inches.

One of the problems with me risking going further with any of these guys  was
that my brother worked with us.

One day when I was in the bathroom in a cubicle I noticed a shadow on the
floor and I watched as  the guy next to me jerked off.  Without  touching my
cock I shot my load in the toilet. My hormones were raging.

The next day I watched to find out who it was and sure enough it happened
again and I watched through the crack and saw it was one of my friends,
Ron.  Ron was a small skinny kid but he always has a bulge in his black
slacks.  He was friends with my brother and began to come to our house now
and then.  My brother got a girl and Ron and I became friends.

One night we were out driving around in his car.  I had a boner all night
but as usual suppressed it.  I asked him to stop by the side of the road
because I had to take a piss.  When I got back into the car Ron said "I
know you want what I want, but you have to make the first move".  I was
shaking inside but I couldn't muster up the courage to do anything.  I
fluffed it off with a joke pretending that I didn't know what he meant.
Unfortunately for me, and maybe for the both of us he didn't make a move
either.

A few weeks later he came up to my bench with an obvious hard on.  He
pressed his cock to the rim of my bench.  He was breathing heavy and said,
"I don't know what it is about you but every time I am with you I get a
hard on".  I just joked and said " You like me that is all".  He said "it
is much more than that"

There was silence, I was again confronted with revealing my feeling, and
again I couldn't muster up the courage.  I had gotten a raging hard on just
contemplating the lust.  Then he said to me, " I am going to tell you the
highest compliment that any man can tell another man".  I asked " what is
that?"  He said, " for you I would turn queer".  I turned all red and
fortunately one of his other friend came over to the bench and the pressure
was off.

We never talked about it again.  I later married and I learned that he also
married.  He married a girl that I use to go out with.

After I sign on to the Internet and I learned that there are so many men
like me I thought I would look Ron up just to see if we still could have a
friendship and maybe explore.  But sadly I learned that he had died.

Ron, I hope you had a good life and I am sorry for not letting you know how
I felt.

To all the young men reading this story I say,  don't keep your  feelings
hidden.  I now know that sometimes the risk is worth it

Don