is just a little piece of Flash Fiction I thought I would post. There is no
sex, and all in all it's basically a PG13 story.
see the blaze of fury in his eyes as he entered the coffee shop where I worked.
I have been expecting it. I should have gone home last night, but the horrific
discovery I made was so foul, so upsetting, that I just couldn't face him.
Seattle Coffee was where I spent the night. This morning I just quickly grabbed
a shower in the back room and moved from my earlier position by the window to
the place where I belong: behind the counter.
myself to look up at him. I could see the very reason I didn't go home the
night before in every one of his features. God. I could see it in his
long, black curls, his usually blue eyes, now gray with anger, his full lips
pressed together painfully thin. Please let this go smoothly. He opened
his mouth to say something, but before he could make a sound, I cut him short.
moving out. We can't be roommates any more.' I was surprised that my voice
didn't waver as the words tumbled from my lips. His expression changed
completely. He didn't look angry anymore, but shocked, flabbergasted.
heard me. I'll come around to get my stuff tonight.' This was necessary. God it
was necessary. Who knows what could happen if I don't do this?
Shaun, wha-', he started to protest, but I cut him short again.
want to talk about this now. We'll talk when I come to fetch my stuff.'
I turned around and went to the employee restroom in the back. I couldn't hold
it any longer. Tears swiftly found their way to my chin in perfectly straight
lines from my eyes. Before long I was bawling like a baby. What did I do?
I need him, fuck! The ONE time that things are going right in my life, I go and
fuck it all up.
was said was said. I can't take it back now. I quickly dried my tears and
washed my face. Luckily I returned before Peter, my boss, found out that I was
gone. The rest of my day was spent working in near silence, the only words
coming out of my mouth being the usual `Need a refill?'
I walked to my car, an old Nissan. I quietly got in behind the steering wheel.
The trip home was conducted in silence as well. Not that I could really call it
home anymore. I made it quite clear to Ethan that I didn't plan to stay there
on the back of my neck stood up as I pulled into the driveway of the luxurious
house. I know what you're thinking. `How can a Seattle Coffee employee afford
anything more than a meager flat?' The answer is that I can't. Ethan pays for
the house. I basically have a free ride with him. I've never quite figured out
why he let me stay there for next to nothing. I do make sure that dinner's on
the table every night and that the house is cleaned regularly, but that can
hardly be considered payment.
the front door and walked into the house. I took the key off the chain and put
it on the flower table in the foyer. I won't need that anymore. I closed my
eyes and prayed to some unknown entity for strength for this night. I found
Ethan in the living room. He looked up just as I entered.
why you want to move out.' He said it in such a broken and forlorn voice that I
couldn't help feeling sorry for him. But what does he think the reason for my
decision is? Could he know? Cold fear crept up my spine, but I willed myself to
small voice I asked, `Why?'
you found out about me.' What? Now I'm totally confused. But before I could
reply he spoke again.
really sorry Shaun. I should have told you a long time ago. The only thing that
kept me from saying it was that I was afraid that exactly this would happen.'
That's about how far I got before he interrupted me.
help it, you know! I can't help that I am in love with you!'
`B-b-b-but...' I tried. My voice was weak. I closed my eyes. What the hell! I
wanted to move out because I discover that I'm in love with my best friend of
eight years and my roommate of two, and now he told me he's in love with me
too? This shit only happens in books or movies. There is no way this could be
opened my eyes again, Ethan was sitting on the plush orange couch that I
insisted on buying. Ethan hated it, but it didn't stop him from buying it for
me. He was crying silently. Tears found their way to the corners of his
beautiful red lips before running down his strong chin, getting lost in his
sexy black stubble.
I tried. No response. `Ethan baby, please look at me.' His head jerked up and
his blue eyes bore into mine. I could see they wary hope in them. The unspoken
question that emanated from those gorgeous blue orbs was painfully obvious.
did you call me?' he asked. I could hear the hope in his voice. I could also,
however, hear caution. `P-please... Y-you better not be fucking with me Shaun.'
He said through his tears.
Eth. I promise you. I... I wanted to move out because I'm in love with you.
I didn't want you to think of me as a... as a fag, a queer, a motherfucking pedo.
Most people immediately assume that gays are pedophiles. I just didn't want to
take the risk of becoming less than shit in your eyes...
you Ethan. I love every single inch of you. I've loved you since we were in
school, and I don't see that changing soon. I... I never thought you might be
feeling the same, otherwise I would have said something. I've wanted to tell
you for so long... So fucking long.' Phew! And I'm usually a man of few words!
Apparently Ethan was thinking the same thing as me, because his mouth hung open
after I finished.
that's probably the most I've ever heard you say at once, right? And I've known
you for what, eight years now?'
smiled and said, `We all go a little weird when we're in love...' That got his
attention once again.
mean it Shaun?' he asked. `Do you really love me?'
babe, I really do. And I can't guarantee that everything will work out
perfectly or that we'll always be together, but we have to try to make it work.
Love alone isn't enough. Love may make the world go `round, but communication
is the axis on which it spins.'
metaphors suck, you know?' Ethan said, a broad smile plastered on his face. His
crying stopped a while back, and he was only giving the occasional sniff by
be, but at least they get my point across. Now come here you.' I crossed over
to the couch and gave him the gentlest and most loving hug I could.
Each of us need it and, with a bit of luck, both of us will receive it for the
rest of our lives -- from each other. But I didn't want to think about the
future. All I wanted was to hold him in my arms for the rest of the night, for
the rest of eternity, if I could.