By Jesse James
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Warning: This story contains sexual contact between two males (NON consensual) though, it's not gratuitous and if you are opposed to reading this sort of thing or it is illegal for you to do so, please leave now.
Otherwise all questions, and complaints can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org
A/N: Thanks very much, Katina, for all of your imput and support through writing this.
I never considered myself a ‘Night Club’ person, probably because I’ve rarely gone out since I turned eighteen. It's been two years and though, I'm still not your average club boy, I do drink. A lot. Seriously, a lot. Border line alcoholic right here…just playing---sort of. How else are you supposed to spend your weekend? Trips to the mall or Shopping? Yeah right, I’m not that gay. I’m not your typical gay guy. I could care less about what the latest fashion is or the name brand bullshit. I think if your clothes define who you are…you must be really boring and very pathetic.
Like I said, I don’t go out that often, but when I do I like to wind down and tonight I felt like going out and dancing. I hopped into my 2003 Silver Volkswagen Beetle and cranked the volume of the CD that’s in. It’s Disturbed “Indestructible”---a must have for all rock fans. If you don’t have it yet, I seriously recommend you go out and buy it right now. Trust me it’s awesome. I’ll even give you time before I continue……
Are You Back? Ok, great now moving on. My friends cancelled on me yet again, so I have to go alone, which always sucks. Bad friends, Naughty.
I arrived at Clueless at around eleven-thirty, because if you go any earlier than that, you’re an alcoholic and there's hardly anyone there anyway…at least that's what my friends are always saying.
Oh, did you notice the name? Clueless? It just screams “I’m a gay nightclub” doesn’t it? Not to mention, the sign outside has your standard rainbow triangle. It’s cute though. The music is pretty good here, Rap and Pop mostly…not exactly my style, but it’s great to dance to. I’m more of a Rock person myself; obviously…I mean, I listen to Disturbed, obviously, I'm a Rock person.
I enjoy coming here on occasion because the Bartender and the DJ are pretty gorgeous. It’s always nice to have something good to look at while you’re out. Shhh, don’t tell them that though, Ok? Good.
So, I walked in and I’m greeted by the door lady, sort of---I don’t know her name, I should ask one of these days because “Door Lady” just seems a little rude if you ask me. Maybe some other time; she seems to be in a bitchy mood at the moment. Her greeting seemed a little forced. Maybe it‘s that time of the month where she‘s visited by her ‘Aunt Flow‘? I don’t know. Not my business.
I handed her my ID and ten dollars. She put the rainbow bracelet on me and the required “X” on both hands signifying that you‘re underage. It’s a bitch to wash off but it’s whatever. I mean come on my twenty-first birthday is next month, but I don’t complain because I don’t want to make a scene, plus it’s also not my style.
I walked into the lobby area where they have three brown leather couches and a nice coffee table all in a cute set up. There was a heavy set guy chatting on his cell phone…well more like yelling at the person on the other end of the line.
“You stupid bitch, you left me at the bar with a bunch of faggots….get your fucking ass back here and get me…..” he kept yelling.
I kinda felt bad for the poor soul who was taking his shit. Oh well, at least it‘s not me. I would’ve knocked that sorry son of a bitch on his ass.
I scanned the room and decided to go out for a cigarette. Don’t judge; all the cool kids do it. Newports are the way to go, just saying. I bypass angry phone guy and walked outside to the smoking area, HA! We smokers have an area, beat that bitches.
As I was getting ready to light up, I noticed a great looking black guy staring at me as he was leaning against the fence—the smoking area is just a fenced in space right outside the back door of the club. It kinda reminded me of a zoo, being chained in like animals and the horrible smell. Someone must have vomited.
Damn it, where’s my lighter, I thought as I searched all my pockets. The mystery man walked over to me.
“Here you go” he said as he handed me his.
“Oh, thank you” I replied, trying to sound casual.
I lit my cig and handed his lighter back to him. He walked back over to his spot and we both just stood there in silence as we smoked. The mystery man and I kept glancing at each other. It was like a game of cat and mouse. The first thing I noticed about him was his beautiful green eyes. He also had amazing plump lips, I just wanted to pounce on him right then. When I finished my cig, I dropped it on the ground and stepped on it. Yeah, yeah I litter, sue me. With the door open about ready to go back in, I turned and gave the guy a smile.
God he’s gorgeous, I thought to myself. I would never say stuff like that out loud, I’m too shy. He smiled back at me and I walked in and closed the door behind me. I took a deep breath and headed towards the bar. I was in a desperate need of a drink.
The bartender noticed me after like ten minutes and asked, “Pepsi with no ice right?”
“Yup,” I replied, wondering how the hell he remembered that.
He handed me my soda, “Two dollars, sir” he said playfully.
He’s hot and I figured he deserved some kind of a tip, so I handed him a Five and told him to keep the change. Ok, so I’m cheap…get over it.
I just gave him a nod. It’s manlier to nod than say ‘Oh, you’re welcome’ and bat your eye lashes. Over exaggerating, but you get my drift.
I turned to the dance floor as I took a sip. It has maybe ten people out there all doing their own version of the Two-Step and there was a bunch of other people engaged in conversation scattered all around the bar. Most likely trying to find their next conquest. This town is filled with whores, no joke.
What the hell are they doing? I thought to myself as I spotted an empty stool and headed towards it, shaking my head, chuckling.
On my way there, not paying attention to anything other than a few morons making fools of themselves on the dance floor, I ended up colliding with the guy from outside.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” I apologized as I was wiping off my shirt where a little soda had spilled.
“It’s alright” he said as he continued to walk to the bar.
Still wiping off my shirt, I made it to the stool I had been eyeing, I set my drink down and took off my jacket and laid it on the seat. It’s my spot now. I grabbed my drink and continued to watch people attempt to dance.
Caught up in the music, I jumped when mystery guy asked me “Do you dance?”
Startled, I said “Yeah, do you?” as I took another sip.
“Eh, sometimes” he replied as he shrugged his shoulders. “Depends on what song is playing.”
With a slight nod, I simply said “Oh”
Just ask his name already, I told myself. I turned and at the same time we both asked, “So, what’s your name?”
“I’m Jesse” I said.
“Names Jason, but everyone calls me Jay.” he answered as we shook hands.
He had a nice tight grip. It was easy to tell he worked with his hands a lot. They were rough and calloused and his veins popped out a little on his wrists and on the backs of his hands, but not in a disgusting way.
“So, wanna dance to the next song if it‘s good?” he asked a moment later.
“Sure” I set my drink down and got up, “Be right back, I have to take a piss first”
“All right” he replied and he leaned up against the wooden pole he had been standing next to.
I walked towards the line of people waiting to go. I jumped in line and turned back to look at him. I watched him take a sip of my drink; I just giggled to myself and continued to wait. About two minutes later it was my turn. I went into the ladies room. Don’t judge, it was the first one that was free, besides it’s much cleaner than the men’s room, plus it has a mirror in there. After I finished doing my business, I washed my hands. When I opened the door I found Jay waiting for me.
“Ready?” he asked as he handed me my soda.
I decided to chug the rest of my drink and I placed the empty cup on the bar. It was much easier to dance without having something in your hands.
‘Please Don’t Stop the Music’ was blaring and it was vibrating the floor. We found an open area and we immediately started grinding face to face. No use wasting time. His hands went from my back to my ass in the span of a minute. I didn’t care, he was fucking hot. I just flashed him another smile and he did the same to me. I reached down and grabbed his booty; it was so firm and just amazing. Half way through the song, I turned around and continued to dance. I felt his bulge poking me from behind. I just chuckled to myself. A moment later I started feeling a little dizzy and my stomach started to turn but I just brushed it off. I probably had too much caffeine in a short period of time.
Not five seconds later, my heart began to race. Everyone around me suddenly became very colorful. Almost as if I could see their auras. It was pretty but at the same time confusing and kinda scary. Their faces began to melt and their voices sounded like they were speaking in slow motion. I stumbled around for a minute trying to find something to grab onto. Just then, my body gave out, it felt as if all of my bones had just broken all at once and I collapsed. Everything and everyone suddenly went pitch black and then all the screams around me faded into dead silence.
I was awaken by best friend and room mate; Jordan, which I‘m assuming was the following morning. I had no recollection of the night before. Except that I had gone out to the club alone and met a really cute guy and we danced. Now I’m home and my whole body was sore.
I opened my eyes only to shut them really tight. It was really fucking bright.
“Get up, you’re late for…” he suddenly got all quiet.
I sat up and started to rub my eyes. “Ow” I felt a sharp pain on my right eye. I turned and looked at my pillow and it was covered in blood.
“Dude, what the fuck happened?” he asked.
“I…I don’t know.” I quickly ran into the bathroom to see what Jordan saw, wincing all the way there as pain shot through my body from so many places I wasn't even sure what the source was.
When I looked in the mirror my right eye was so swollen and had mixed shades of red, yellow, purple and blue. I frantically started checking my body. My clothes looked like they had been stretched to all hell. My wallet was missing. From the bathroom I heard Jordan on his cell phone telling whoever he was talking to come over as fast as they could.
Clenching my stomach, which felt like it was gonna explode at any moment, I slowly walked back into my bedroom and quietly sat down. I felt another throbbing pain, this time it was my ass. It felt like it had been ripped open. Gross, but true.
As tears started falling down face, I started to ball my eyes out.
“Jordan, what the fuck happened to me? I don’t understand…why can’t I….” I felt helpless as I wracked my brain trying to remember the night before. And I could... I could remember everything. Everything up until that dance and nothing else. Nothing. It was all black. I replayed the entire night over and over in my head all the way up until that point but I could never get past it.
I continued to sob and was taking a moment to catch my breath.
“Why can’t I remember anything? Why the fuck do I have a black eye? Why the fuck is my ass so fucking sore?”
Without meaning to I started to shout.
“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE WITH ME. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ME!!!!!”
I picked up the closest thing I could find, which happened to my lamp and I chucked it across the room.
As it scattered into pieces, I fell to my knees and ran both hands through my hair and I tugged so hard that I had ripped out a few strands. I began to rock back and forth, I became completely silent. I honestly thought I was losing it.
Jordan finally spoke, “I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry” and he knelt down beside me and started rubbing my back.
Something quickly flashed in my head; I was being forced down by Jay; the guy I met at the club…his elbow dug into my back and he was forcing himself in me. I let out a scream, one in which I thought for sure was heard around the world. I started crying hysterically.
“GO AWAY….JUST…GO!!” I yelled.
I sensed that he got the hint, because he slowly got up and walked out. From the look in his eye, I knew he was sorry, but I was just so pissed off, confused, scared and hurt. At the same time, I felt emotionally numb and didn’t want anyone touching me or come near me. I felt disgusting and dirty.
I spent two long hours in the shower that day. The water went from hot, to warm, to cold. I didn’t care. A part of me wanted to hide in that tub forever to avoid the million questions I would be battered with when I got out. Questions I truly couldn’t answer, not for them or for myself. I sat down and just let the cold water pour down on me. I picked up the razor that sat in the soap dish and took it to both of my wrists. It didn’t hurt. Nothing hurt, but at the same time everything hurt.
I watched my blood go down the drain. It’s as if my humanity went with it. A familiar wave of dizziness washed over me. I laid back and fell asleep.
I awoke in an unfamiliar place. Everything was so bright. It took me a few minutes to adjust. Jordan was asleep in a chair next to my bed. My wrists were bandaged and I was to hooked to IV’s.
“Jordan” I said, so softly that I almost didn’t think he heard me.
He quickly sat up. His eyes were so red; I could tell he had been crying. He opened his mouth as if he was gonna say something, but closed it. Tears filled his already tired looking eyes and he began to cry. He reached over and grabbed my hand and placed his head on it. I couldn’t speak, but I to started to cry.
Just then a doctor walked in. By the look on his face, he wasn’t bearing good news. I tried to prepare myself for what I was about to hear.
“Mr. Side…” he paused for a moment, then continued. “Your test results came back. We found traces of Rohypnol and Benzodiazepines in your blood stream," he must have seen the confused look on my face, because he stopped and added “the Rohpnol is the date rape drug and it was mixed with benzodiazepines which is a type of sleeping pill, the police are here to get a statement from you, but before I go, there’s one other thing.” he paused again for what seemed like an hour.
“You were raped. We followed protocol, which is to test you for any type of sexually transmitted disease…” again he paused.
“All the tests came back negative, except one…..You are HIV Positive…” he continued, but his voice trailed of. Those four words echoed in my head. Over and Over.
Life can change in an instant. I had a normal boring routine life, one in which I can never get back.
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