By John Yager
This is the ninth chapter of an on-going series . I sincerely appreciate all the correspondence this story has prompted. Thank you for your encouragement, suggestions and criticism.
Many of you have commented on the ways this story parallels your own experiences. I hope that means that I've struck some common threads in the lives of Gay men. In your messages I've been touched by what you've shared with me. I sincerely appreciate your candor and your trust.
Andrew continues to provide much needed proofing and editorial help, for which I am sincerely grateful.
This is a work of fiction and in no way draws on the lives of any specific person or persons. Any similarity to actual persons or events is entirely coincidental. This is a work of gay erotic fiction. If you should not be reading such material or if such material is not to your liking, please exit now.
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Experiencing the raw power of sex had a greater impact on my life than I'd ever anticipated. After that first experience with Rick everything seemed to change. But as momentous as that change was, it was impossible for me to talk about it with anyone.
I think, in retrospect, it was less powerful for Rick in some ways than it was for me. He had already known what it was like to feel the bonding with another person which only intimate physical contact can produce. He'd admitted to me that he and Deb had been having sex for over two years.
But in some ways our relationship was even more traumatic for Rick than for me. I had already admitted, at least to myself, that I was gay. I'd gotten used to the idea and had begun to see what my life would be like as a gay man. I knew, for one thing, that I could never live out my life in the stifling and homophobic atmosphere of Spring River, Mississippi.
Rick was scared shitless over the possibility of being gay. I guess, in fairness, I should say "Bi," but as far as he was concerned, it made no difference. And he was right, at least as far as the town and his family and Debbie and her family were concerned.
"He that lieth with a man, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."
Rick quoted that scripture to me a hundred times. Well, maybe not a hundred, but a couple of dozen times, for sure.
"But if you accept that passage as still being relevant to our lives, Rick," I told him, "you might just as well go after the ones that say you are in equal trouble if you have sex with a woman during her period."
"I know, man, but it doesn't matter what I think. It's what my folks think and what Debbie thinks and what her folks think. If I'm fucking around with a guy, I might just as well be taken out and shot."
The debate was endless and unresolvable. But the thing was that, despite all his fears and apprehensions, Rick and I continued to have sex together every chance we got. For me, his trepidations and self loathing were truly sad. I couldn't help but think that his family's beliefs and their entire culture of prejudice and hate were worse than any "offence" he might be committing with me.
But for Rick it wasn't possible for him to see the reality of his nature apart from the constraints of his culture. As that winter went on I began to fear for his stability.
"I can't be gay, Rob," he sobbed into my shoulder a dozen different times. "I just fucking can't be gay."
I tried to convince him that whatever he was, it wasn't his choice. By any standard, it was clear that his sexual needs were not what he wanted them to be. He wanted to be the straight jock, the future husband and father, all the things his family and Debbie wanted and expected him to be. The reality was drastically different.
"Is Rick okay?" Joyce asked me, the night before Homecoming. The official events didn't begin until the next day, but there were always a bunch of private parties on the Friday night and Joyce and I had just come from one. We were on our way to her house, in good time for the midnight curfew.
"Yeah, I guess, why?" I parried, not wanting to get into it with her.
"Well, he's acting strange. Even Deb mentioned it."
"Really, like how?"
"I don't know, moody, kind of like he might blow up any minute, not his usual easy- going self."
"Did Debbie say that?"
"She just said he'd been sort of blue. She thought it had to do with football but that doesn't make sense. You guys are winning and he is sure playing more than his share."
"Yeah, I guess."
"But you've not noticed it? I mean, Rob, you are with him a lot, in classes, football practice, you know. You probably see more of him than Deb does."
"Well, I'll keep my eyes open."
On Saturday afternoon we played the Homecoming football game and won it in a rout, 34 to 6. We made five touchdowns and our junior place kicker converted on all but one. The other team didn't have a chance and by the fourth quarter we were beginning to feel sorry for them. It was then, of course, that they scored their one touchdown.
Later in the locker room we gave Coach Biggs a hard time. Sure, we wanted to win our Homecoming game, we all told him, but he didn't have to schedule it so we'd play the worst team in our conference on that specific day. It sort of made us look like a bunch of pussies. He just laughed and said we were only a bunch of pussies if we acted like pussies, so get out of there and go enjoy the dance.
I looked across the locker room to see a gang of guys around Rick, congratulating him on two great catches. He'd caught them but I'd thrown them. He grinned back across the crowd of naked or nearly naked guys at me. I was standing in the middle of my own circle of admirers, wearing only a jock strap. As I watched Rick over a sea of shoulders, he came across the room toward me. When the crowd parted a little to let him through I saw that he was naked. The towel he'd had around his waist had dropped off or been jerked off by one of the guys about half way across the room. The towel lay in a heap in the middle of the floor.
There was something so cocky and self assured about the way Rick walked toward me. Even when he lost his towel he just kept coming. He was certainly the sexiest guy on the team and I couldn't help but get hard just watching him. Good thing I still had my jock strap on.
"Great game, buddy," he called above the den.
"Great catches, Rick. We scored on both," I called back.
"I'm all for scoring," he said as we headed for the showers. "I figure we'll both score tonight."
That got a laugh from the rest of the guys. What they didn't know was that Rick was spending the night with me.
The Homecoming dance itself turned out to be a lot of fun, a lot more fun than I'd expected. I'd figured the girls had something up their sleeves, at least figuratively speaking, but I didn't know until that evening what it was.
I picked Joyce up at seven o'clock even though the dance didn't start until eight. The three couples who were the queen and king and the attendants were supposed to be at the high school gym by seven-thirty to have pictures taken.
"Wow," I said when she came into the living room where I was waiting with her folks, "you look great!" And she did. She was wearing a very simple white satin dress; not the fluffy taffeta formal I had expected, but a sleek, sexy floor-length sheath which clung to her lithe body and was bound to make every eye turn.
"It certainly isn't the traditional Homecoming formal," Mrs. Lynn said. But Joyce and the other girls wanted to do something different this year and the faculty committee agreed."
In Dad's Buick on the way to the school, I leaned over and kissed my girl on the cheek. "Joyce, you are stunning," I said. "I figured you and the girls had something planned but I thought it was some prank. Instead, you're going to turn little old Spring River, Mississippi into the fashion capital of the world."
"Well," she laughed, "for one night, maybe."
Joyce and I were the last of the three "Royal" couples to arrive but I guess the others had just been there a few minutes. Deb and Pat wore similar dresses to Joyce's except theirs were both of the same shade of blue, not a bright blue, but a gray blue which looked absolutely stunning. I must say, with our girls in such attire, and Rick and Dan and me in our rented Tuxedos, we were three very handsome couples.
The gym also looked great. The committee had done a great job and the place really looked like a grand ballroom. They had gotten some sort of white fabric and stretched it over the entire length of the space so, even though we were inside, it looked like the inside of a huge tent. The lights had been turned down and instead of the glaring interior of a gym, it looked like some sort of dream space. It was a lot more effective than the usual crêpe paper streamers and fake palms.
There was a pair of thrones on the stage at the far end and Joyce and I were supposed to sit on them while the other two couples stood on either side. The girls, Deb and Pat put the crowns on our heads.
We went through the whole thing as Miss Snap, the Senior Class Advisor, gave us directions and the photographer took about fifty pictures. They had figured out about three years earlier that it was better to take the photos at the rehearsal than at the actual event.
By eight o'clock a hundred or more kids were outside the gym waiting to get in so Miss Snap said we had the routine down and they had all the photos they needed for the school newspaper and the yearbook.
Joyce and Deb and Pat went off to the girls' locker room to touch up their make-up and Danny and Rick and I went off to the guys' locker room to just hang out. Danny Carter really is a nice guy. He hadn't been into sports in high school, which was unusual in Spring River. There is so much emphasis on sports that any guy who can halfway hold a ball is expected to go out for at least one sport. Most go out for two or three. But Danny had been on the debate team and he sang in the school choir.
Rick and I talked about it later that night and figured it was really sort of funny. Here he and I were the big jocks and yet were in each other's pants every chance we got. Then there was Dan, doing all those things most people figure the limp wristed fairies go out for, and he was as straight as they come. Go figure!
So the three of us sat in the locker room talking, waiting for the girls to get their act together. None of us were really all that anxious to go out to the dance so we didn't mind if the girls killed as much time as they wanted.
"So how's college, Danny?" Rick asked. Danny was a freshman at Starkville.
"Good. I mean, it's just my first semester but it isn't as hard as I expected. There is a lot of work and you need to stay up with your assignments but if you just keep at it, the classes aren't really much harder than high school."
"Are you back home much?
"No. This is the first time. I guess I'll come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas but over spring break some of us are going down to Gulf Port for a week."
"Oh, yeah," Rick grinned, "I've heard about those spring break parties. They say some wild stuff goes on."
"So are you and Pat still going steady?"
"Well, sort of. She said she'd just as soon be going steady with me, even though we don't see much of each other. If we weren't officially going steady she'd be having to deal with a bunch of immature guys here."
"So you're giving her some protection for a bunch of horny high school guys like us."
"Well, you guys are spoken for, right?"
Rick looked at me and grinned. The guy really was a stunner. He looked from me to Danny and said, "Yeah, I guess you could say that."
At that point there was a knock on the door and Danny jumped up to open it. When he had gotten just far away to be our of earshot, Rick leaned over and whispered, "Are you spoken for Rob? I'll speak for you later if you'll speak for me."
"Sounds good," I grinned back. Rick and I would be getting together after we took the girls home at one o'clock. Yes, one o'clock! We had a one hour reprieve in the curfew department because of the big dance. He and I had considered going out to the cabin but figured it would be too late and too cold. As a compromise, he was coming to spend the night with me. My brother Ted wasn't coming home from Oxford that weekend so we'd have some privacy. "I guess by speaking for me, you mean you'll stand up for me, come what may."
"Nah, I just mean I'll speak like a dog begging for a treat."
"Got any particular treat in mind?"
"I'll give you first dibs."
"What if I suggested a bone to chew on?"
"Depends on what bone you're thinking of."
"Bone, boner, whatever you want."
"Hey, begging dogs can't be choosy. I'll take what comes."
"Really. You want me to be a begging dog, I'll beg. You want me to be your bitch I'll just roll over and spread my legs."
"The girls are ready," Danny said. We'd not heard him return. "What are you guys talking about?"
"The game," I said, jumping in to cover an awkward moment. "Just replaying the game."
"I never did understand all those football expressions you guys use," he said as he turned to leave the locker room with Rick and me close behind. Both of us were grinning from ear to ear as we joined the girls.
"You two look pleased with yourselves," Joyce said as I took her arm for our formal entrance.
"What guy wouldn't be pleased with himself having you on his arm?"
"Well, thank you, Ma'am." I looked over at Rick and Deb who were just ahead of us. "What about Rick? Is he sweet, too?"
"I suspect so, but you tell me," she smiled as the doors opened and the Royal Court made its entry.
After we had been introduced and crowned, the dance itself continued. It was really a lot of fun and I think Joyce and I managed to uphold our royal rank by dancing as well or better than any other couple there.
I was relieved that the dance went on until half past midnight, which left little time for more than getting the girls home before their extended curfew. I'd taken the precaution of telling Joyce in advance that I wouldn't be coming in for one of our late night conversations. I had told her that after the game and then the dance, I had to get home to bed. That much was true, anyway. I did have to get home to bed - with Rick.
Back at my house, I waited on the front porch for Rick. I'd told him I'd wait for him so we could slip into the house and up to my room as quietly as possible. I didn't have long to wait. He was as eager to get Deb home and join me as I had been.
"I think my folks will be asleep but we need to keep it quiet anyway."
"Yeah, I know," Rick said. "We don't want to wake them."
We made it silently up the stairs and into my room. I could lock my bedroom door, which had saved me from many an embarrassing interruption. That night, it was more important than ever. Being caught in the throes of solo sex would have been bad enough but being caught having sex with Rick would have been a disaster.
Without a word Rick and I began to undress. It was a more complicated process than either of us was used to. Our rented tuxedos and formal shirts made it slow but we both took care to remove each item and hang them properly on hangers for return to the shop on Monday.
As we continued we were grinning at each other and using the imposed slowness to maximum advantage. In the end, it became a slow and erotic striptease, each of us trying to get the other as excited as possible.
I must say the sight of Rick's beautiful body coming slowly into view was certainly more than it took to get me fully aroused.
But once down to only or jockey shorts, our restraint was abandoned. Rick moved seductively toward me. I suddenly remembered how he'd come toward me across the crowded locker room after the game. The guy was amazing. He moved like a sleek animal and every movement caused his powerful muscles to ripple and flex.
"Oh, god, Rob," he whispered as we embraced, "I've been thinking about this all week."
"Yeah," I managed to say before his lips silenced me.
We moved together to the bed and in seconds we were naked and our bodies crushed together. I was on him, my body pressing down on his. Then, as if by some predetermined signal, we rolled over so that he was on me. Throughout those manoeuvres, our mouths never parted. Rick's mouth left mine to find its way down to my throat. He was sucking hard there and I knew he would again leave my skin inflamed and red. Why did he seem to need to mark me?
"Joyce thinks your sweet," I whispered.
"I should have told her you are a tiger in bed."
"Can't I be a sweet tiger?"
"Not when you're out for blood."
He pulled back and looked at me, his eyes staring down into mine, not six inches between us. "What did she mean by sweet?"
"You tell me."
"Damn!" He pulled back a little and looked at me. "Does she think I like guys?"
"I think she thinks you like me."
"That's fucking true."
"Well, then. Don't worry about it, Rick."
"So what now?"
"I sort of thought we were going to get it on."
"Yeah," he grinned. "I guess the rest will have to wait."
He again lowered his lips to mine. I opened my own mouth slightly and ran my tongue across his lips, letting him know he was welcome. Rick took no time at all pressing his tongue into me, probing my mouth. His tongue danced with mine as we both moaned and our bodies responded.
Our bodies were moving together. I brought my legs up around his and pulled his lower body to mine as my arms went around his chest. I hugged him to me as we continued to kiss, our mouths linked and our tongues darting.
Suddenly Rick stopped and pulled back.
"Something wrong?" I asked.
"Just getting to close. Keep that up and I'll come in about thirty seconds."
"What do you want to do?"
When we'd been together before he had wanted me to fuck him. Now, I assumed, he wanted to reverse roles. The idea of his big cock pushing into my ass scared me to death but I'd made up my mine that if that was what he wanted, I'd let him try.
"Can we fuck again?"
"Yeah, sure," I said, knowing what was coming next. "You going to fuck me this time?"
"I'd rather you fuck me."
"Yeah. I keep dreaming about us doing it at the cabin. I want it again."
"Same position?" I started to roll onto my side so I could get on top of him.
"No stay put. You just lie on your back and let me do the work this time."
"What do you mean?"
"Just stay put. I want to sit on your cock." He got off me and stood up. "What you got for lube?"
"Hand lotion. Would that work?"
"Sure, where is it?"
I rolled over and pulled the bottle out of the drawer of my bedside table.
"That's handy," Rick grinned. "That what you use to beat off?" He threw his left leg back over me, kneeling with his buttocks raised above my pulsing cock.
"Yeah," I grinned, feeling the color rise in my cheeks. Rick poured a puddle of the stuff into the palm of his left hand and rubbed it slowly and generously over my dick. "Go easy, fellow, or you'll make me come."
"That would be a waste."
He ran his fingers along the crack of his ass. He winced as he pushed his fingers in to grease his hole. "I think I'm ready," he said, his voice low, almost a whisper. It had an unnatural, sort of rough sound. Over the next few months I learned to know and love that tone in his voice; it meant arousal, lust, desire.
I lay very still as he lowered his body, aligning his ass with my cock and slowly pressing down. The dripping head of my cock made contact with the pucker of his ass and slowly pressed in as he continued to lower himself, impaling himself.
"Oh, yeah," he sighed as he continued.
It was all I could do to lie still and let him control the process. Every instinct, every atom in my body screamed to hump up into him.
Rick's eyes were almost shut as he tried to control the discomfort, to ride it out. He stopped with me not yet half in him, waiting for his body to surrender to the invasion of my cock. A thin sheen of sweat began to appear over his muscular body. His chest quivered and I felt a tremor run through his legs, which were pressed firmly against my body.
"You okay, man?"
"Just give me a minute."
"Tell me what it feels like."
"Oh, gees, Rob." He closed his eyes and I knew he was trying to stay in control. Then, without opening eyes, he began to speak very slowly, very quietly, almost in a whisper. "It feels like taking a really hard shit. Like you want it over and can't get it to work. You feel like you can't take it any longer." He paused and I also remained silent, although I wanted to ask him why he didn't just pull off. We didn't have to do this. "I wonder if it could be a little like what a woman feels giving birth."
"How the hell should I know. I just want my ass to relax."
"Maybe we should stop, Rick."
"No way, man. I want you in me."
"Was it this bad before?"
"No, this is worse."
"Do you think it's the position?"
We both waited. I sensed it was even hard for him to talk.
Another minute went by, then two. Rick opened his eyes and looked down at me, a slight grin on his face.
"It's getting better."
"Yeah, I think my body is beginning to relax."
"Do you want me to do anything?"
"No, just stay real still."
I very gently moved my hands from beside my own body. I brought them up to his shoulders and began to gently stroke his bunched muscles. It felt as if every muscle in his body was clenched. I'd never felt him so hard. I ran my hands over his chest and down over his stomach. He was wet, almost to the point of dripping sweat onto my stomach and chest. His cock had lost its erection and withered to a small nib, almost lost in the bush of his pubic hair.
This couldn't be worth it, I thought. I'd not yet experienced what it was like to be fucked, but this was crazy. Why put yourself through this when there were so many more pleasant ways for two guys to make love?
Make love, I thought. That was a weird expression, considering what Rick was going through. Was he going through this for love? I felt as if he wanted me to fuck him for his own enjoyment as much as, if not more than, for mine. It must be really great for him to be willing to go through this. Did he really enjoy the pain on some level, I wondered. I'd heard some guys do - enjoy pain, I mean. But it seemed sick to me, perverted in some very deep way. Enjoyable pain. It seemed like a contradiction of terms to me.
"I think I can do it now," Rick whispered. He began to slide on down. He continued to lower himself onto my cock as the last few inches slid into his tormented ass. When it was all the way in, when he was sitting firmly on my crotch, my cock embedded in his ass, he groaned and leaned forward a little, placing his hands on my shoulders, bracing himself. "Oh, yeah."
"Oh, yeah. Just give me a minute to rest."
He closed his eyes again and just sat there, very still, waiting. I waited with him. Then, very slowly at first, I began to sense movement. He wasn't raising up yet, not really trying to fuck my cock. He was just moving around, very slightly from side to side, then forward a bit and then back, keeping his ass firmly planted on my crotch.
"Yeah, that feels so fucking good," he whispered as his eyes came open and locked on mine. I felt the muscles of his ass clench around my cock and then relax. Then he did it again.
"I could come with you just doing that, Rick," I said, not wanting him to get me off too soon. When I looked down I saw that his own cock was again fully erect, hard, pulsing, a little clear fluid dripping from the slit onto on to my stomach.
Looking up at him from that position, his body seem to glow. It was completely covered with sweat now and every hard muscle gleamed in the soft light.
Then Rick began to move. He brought his ass up a little and then lowered himself, forcing my cock back into him. Very gradually Rick's speed increased and all the while his eyes were locked on mine.
"Oh, Rob," he moaned, "that feels so fucking good."
"Does it make up for the pain?"
He was moving faster now, his hips rising and then crashing back down, fucking hard, pounding my cock into his yielded ass.
"Oh, yeah," he moaned again, "so fucking good."
I reached for his cock, wanting to stroke it, to get him off.
"No," he whined, "don't touch it."
"You don't want me to get you off?"
"I'll get off just from your cock in my ass. You don't need to do anything,"
He was moving like a jackhammer now, pounding hard, driving my cock up into his bowels. I knew it wouldn't last much longer for me and I suspected he was getting close as well.
I felt his body tighten, saw his muscles clench as he got closer. Then his ass spasmed and his cock erupted onto my stomach, sending jolt after jolt of his hot seed onto my stomach and my chest.
Rick's climax was all it took to start my own orgasm. I felt my cock pulse and then, as a deep groan escaped my lips, I shot off, deep into his gut.
Rick collapsed on my chest, his body pressed against me. With my cock still in him, we drifted off.
In about five hours my folks would be waking Rick and me for church.
To be continued.