leaving some space here

The Woods' apartment,
The door,
Wednesday noon:

Robbie rang the doorbell, and soon, Ky opened the door.

"Good morning, Ky."

"Greetings, Robbie," Ky responded. "We are not eating here: the park seemed a good idea more than staying here. Does it bother you?" Robbie shook his head. "Good! You may want to wash your hands before we leave? Moreover, I still need to finish the sandwiches."

He closed the door, leading Robbie into the kitchen.

The Woods' apartment,
The kitchen,
Still Wednesday noon:

Robbie washed his hands as Ky finished their sandwiches: grilled meat, mustard, pickles, salad, tomatoes, bread.

"Is there something you don't want? ...or maybe something you want to add?"

"Leave the salad & tomatoes, please?" Robbie answered, wiping his hands.

"Here..." He slipped a knife beneath the salad & tomato to remove them from Robbie's sandwich. Hesitatingly, he asked: "May I ask you something, Robbie?"

"Yes?" Robbie answered, sitting. He knew "something" 'd be linked to his trangerderism from the Ky's way of speaking. He felt his heart beating, and his breathing changing. Breathe, breathe Robbie... His heart beat too fast. Maybe it's not going to be linked to trans issues... --then if it is... What if it is? Maybe I can speak with him as he's open. Is he going to be okay with me being trans after we speak? Is he going to--

"Being Anaïs Morgan then changing to Robbie Morgan... is it... are you really a guy?"

It seemed as if they were into a hazy dream, and his head felt dizzy. The words were echoing, hitting his skull's bone walls still and always echoing. Being too sensitive, Robbie reacted too strongly and too physically.

"What's it mean?--" he realised he spoke into a quiet whisper "--Being physically something that corresponds to your real gender? Then..." Robbie's eyes dropped to the tiled floor as he bit his lips. He slightly paused before raising his eyes. "Being Anaïs Morgan and changing to Robbie is releasing me from the worse prison there may be: yourself, physically speaking.

"Being trans is being physically something not corresponding to your real gender. Is it weird, believing gender and sex are two distinct things? The first is an id basis, then sex a physical form. Being trans is when gender and sex are opposite."

Robbie ran his fingers through his dark spiky hair, and his dark eyes gazed into the clear blue sky through the window. His words seemed pretty coherent to him

"Maybe being trans means there is absolutely no way I may be a real guy, as there still are scars to prove I went through mastectomy, oopherectomy, hysterectomy, phalloplasty to correspond the real me, physically..."

Sensitive little guy he is (too), Ky shivered hearing all these names: mastectomy? oopherectomy? hysterectomy? phalloplasty? He drew closer to Robbie and kissed his cheek, pulling his chair beside him.

Relief spread over Robbie.

"Please forgive me for asking, Robbie, it's stupid. The thing is, it's a little confusing as you wanted to change physically into a guy despite the fact you are attracted to men--I mean it's... since you love men, what reason to change sex?"

"It's two distinct things that to love men as a woman and love men as a man... true?" His speaking was still timid and missing self assurance.

Ky's eyes gleamed as his lips drew into a grin: "It's true, Robbie," he answered, ruffling his hair. "It's true and it's a really good reason to want to be a guy."

Robbie laughed, his eyes gleaming with tears, and Ky's silly laughing mixed with his.

"Let's leave, Robbie," Ky spoke, still giggling. He put the sandwiches into a special WHAT bag, along with three small water bottles and a few napkins too.

The park,
Still Wednesday noon:

Sitting on a bench, Ky and Robbie were eating sandwiches, speaking casually.

"Adorable earring." Adorning Robbie's ear, Ky observed a bee. "Soon, maybe, an earrings is going to be my ear too!"

"Really? It's cool. When's it you're going to?"

"Soon," Ky answered eagerly, his eyes gleaming. Then: "Maybe." Robbie laughed lightly. "Choosing the ear that is going to be pierced is another problem." He chose to keep his need for Dr. Stone's approval hushed: it's nothing interesting or big. It's... nothing. Guilt spread into him.

"Usually it's left," Robbie responded.

"It's true: 'left is right, and right is wrong', as a right ear pierced means you are from a gang or gay."

"If it's your right ear you pierce, people will easily believe you gay, not from a gang," Robbie teased him.

"It's so obvious, people guess & perceive me as gay, although no earring adorns my right ear," he laughed. Used to people perceiving him as gay straight away, or so he believed, being obvious was not something that frustrated him.

"It's not true," protested Robbie, "I was teasing."

"A 5'5 tall kid, slender & delicate, completely smooth including waxed armpits & legs, with a soon-to-be left ear pierced, not really masculine, truly sensitive, and who loves to laugh too is not obvious?"

Their silly laugh filled the air. "So we're both obvious then?" Robbie asked with laugh tears gleaming in his eyes. "Damn!"

"Using strong words to change your obvious gay attitude to a bad boy's attitude?" Ky teased.

Robbie responded nothing, and leaned on the back, with his right leg folded before him and his right heel resting on his left knee, arms stretched on the seat's back.

"Masculine way to sit," observed Ky with his eyes sparkling.

"Not really: a 5'6 tall kid, slender & delicate, completely smooth including waxed armpits & legs, with a left ear pierced, not really masculine, truly sensitive, and who loves to laugh too, is not going to appear more virile sitting this way: maybe stupid, and amusing--not virile."

Ky's silly laugh seemed catching and soon, Robbie burst into giggles too.

They finished eating their sandwiches and stood, still laughing with their eyes gleaming.

"Let's walk to digest," offered Ky.

Robbie stretched lightly, agreeing. "Health freak," he teased.

"?"

"Yes you are: you eat light & healthy meals, do sports, keep healthy, don't use public restrooms or fountains and things..."

"--it's not true," he protested.

"Really?"

"Yes! It's true eating right gives you the necessary minerals and things, and doing sports keeps you healthy. Then using public restrooms and things is a way to get nasty viruses, it's eww!"

"See? You established you do these things, all the things I gave as an example."

Me? a health freak? Maybe it's true I do these things, still, it doesn't mean a thing: it's normal, it's... healthy! "Okay, maybe it's true...," he admitted.

Robbie laughed.

The daystar gleamed on a clear blue sky, and pinecone scent filled the fresh air. The wind blew lightly and Robbie ran his fingers through his spiky hair.

Three handsome men walked pass them, and Robbie and Ky observed them, before their eyes gleaming with mischief met; their silly laugh merged together.

"Eye candy," Robbie expressed his view, and Ky agreed, nodding his head: "Real eye candy."

"How is it you're single, as ravishing as you are?" Robbie asked.

Ky furiously blushed and began stammering--he knew physically he looked good, and still, despite this fact, he felt embarrassed. He protested stammering, as Robbie laughed lightly seeing his flushed cheeks. "Maybe it's something I want, still it's not what I need these days," Ky finally answered, timid.

Robbie's lips drew themselves into a grin, and his eyes gleamed. "You're cute when you blush."

Ky's flushed cheeks went crimson. "How is it you're single, too?" he asked back.

Robbie's light spirit changed into a crestfallen mood as he responded shrugging, although he wanted to conceal his depressed feelings, forcing a weak smile: "I guess things are this way." Robbie gave an answer really meaning & answering nothing: he wanted not to hear how people usually gave him little interest as he physically & INTELLECTUALLY fairly passed.

"Please excuse me, Robbie," Ky responded, feeling he needed to apologise as he had saddened Robbie.

"It's okay, nothing's wrong," Robbie answered him.