Date: Wed, 2 Feb 2000 19:43:56 -0800 (PST)
From: Kenny Chen <kenny7299@yahoo.com>
Subject: Sweet Memoir of a Fateful Relationship, part 1

This is a true story that happened to me.  I have changed the names. All
incidents and places are still the same. This story involves a relationship
between two males. You have been warned.

Sweet Memoir of a Fateful Relationship.

I was looking over my watch to see how far it was to my destination. Gosh,
I would arrive at the LAX in about 30 mins. My heartbeat was so fast. I
almost could not contain any longer. Suddenly, I felt so nauseated. I
picked up the phone in the airplane, called his cell phone.

He answered, "Is that you, kevin?"

"yeah, are you on your way to the airport, kent?"

"Yeah, don't worry, babe. I will be right there when you come out."

"Ok, see you in a few mins."

Gosh, I would be meeting the man of my dream. I was reminiscing all the
memories I had with him, which was practically none. I had never met him in
person. This would be my first time. I had planned this meeting long time
ago, for over 2 months.

We first met each other on line through a chat room. I went by the name
asiancutie. He went by the name his favorite football team, titan. We
chatted on icq afterwards. Gosh, he was so romantic, so caring. I could not
believe that there was such a person like him. We talked, and talked every
night, wishing each other's best of luck on exams.

Kent was a very bright doctor candidate. He had it all. He had the
looks. He had all the financial stability. Girls were all over him. He was
a mixed between asian and white. He was very handsome.

I was totally asian, of chinese descent. I stood at 5'8", weighed
150#. Been working out for about a few months. I was not bad looking
either. He praised me of being cute and worth the label, asiancutie.

Anyway, the more we talked on the phone, the more attached I was to him. He
was just everything that I had ever wanted. I could not want more. Just a
few months ago, before I met him in October, I broke up with my
fiancee. She cheated on me, and worse yet, while I was willing to forgive
her, she dumped me. I was all broken hearted. I flunked literally my
midterms of all six master's classes. Now, I was a bright student
myself. Imagine, I was working full time (44 hrs a week at least), a full
time graduate student (3.7 Cumulative GPA), a part-time Teaching Assistant
at my university I attended. Looking at my crazy schedule, how could a
human being possibly manage such an overloaded schedule? However, this
break-up thing bothered me very much.

Very nice thing then happened. I met him. He cheered me up. He gave me such
confidence that I could do it. I could go through it. Because of him, I
told myself, I was able to go through this. And I did it.

Now, after talking for two months, I decided to meet him two weeks before
the thanksgiving. He agreed. He was very happy to know that. He told all of
his friends that he would be away for that weekend. Just for me. Could you
imagine that? How sweet! Yes, He was very very sweet.

The plane finally landed. I was getting more nervous than ever. Never had I
been so nervous that I literally wanted to vomit. From afar, I could see
him. Gosh, he was better looking in person. Better than I ever saw from his
pictures. He was just mesmerized me. He waved at me. I was smiling so wide
to see him. My knees were weak immediately at his presence. Gosh, the
feeling overwhelmed me so much. I wanted to hug him right then. I wanted to
kiss him right away. But I told myself to behave. That was not such a good
time. We had to be discreet. Yeah, we were not out, and we would like to
keep it that way.

He took me to his car, White Nissan Maxima - The show of his total
masculinity yet gentle. We checked in the Marriott hotel. Immediately,
after we closed the door. We kissed each other. I explored his lips - very
kissable and adorable lips. I would not want to stop. He took off my
clothes. I was so embarrassed. I took off his. I could feel the heat of his
body radiating to my senses. Gosh, he was as smooth as I was. I loved
smoothness. Then we took off all of our clothes except our underwear,
because I was not feeling comfortable yet. He explored my body with his
hand. He kept saying, "kev, you are so beautiful"

I replied "No, you are."

We continued to fool around. Suddenly, someone was knocking on the door. We
were all freaked out since we were naked. He got up and dressed. He told me
to lie down under the blanket and covered myself and pretended to be
asleep. He opened the door. A man came in with a fruit basket. I was very
surprised to know that. He had ordered a gift basket for me that was
supposed to be delivered to my room before we arrived. However, the hotel
just messed up doing that. He was so sweet.

"Kent, you are just too sweet. How can I ever repay you for this?"

"No, kev, you are the reason. So what do you wanna do next?"

"I don't know. Let's get out and see what's in this city."

"Are you hungry? Wanna eat korean food?"

"Sure do."

We got dressed and went to this small korean restaurant. The food was not
so bad. It was tasty rather. We drove around a little bit. We went back to
the hotel to enjoy our time together.  We took shower together, and he
would like to sleep naked. I could not control myself. We played with each
other's body. Enjoyed the warm of our bodies intertwined. I explored his
whole body with my tongue. Loving every part of his wonderful body. That
night I slept so sound.

I spent my time in California with him so happily. We went to magic
mountain. We had fun taking pictures. He was just so sweet. We went to see
his house before going to magic mountain. I got to meet his sister. She was
as sweet.

My last day came. I could not feel the pressure. I was already very sad
since he had said something that bothered me very much the night before. He
said "Kev, you know how much I love you. However, I am so confused right
now. I don't know what I am doing. You know about Grace. She likes me a
lot, and I cannot deny to say that I don't. I do. You know how our parents
want us to get married. Honestly, she would be the only girl that I can
commit to."

"I understand, kent. Don't worry. Let's just enjoy my last hours here with
you. I am very happy that I can meet you."

"I know kev, but I just want you to know upfront. I am not such a person
that would like to keep two things at once. It's just not fair."

"Don't worry kent. It's ok. I understand"

It's time for me to leave him. I was so sad. Suddenly I got this feeling
that it would be our last meeting ever. And it was. I had to be strong. I
would not cry in front of him. I wanted him to be happy. Should he choose
to be with Grace, that's ok with me so long as he was happy. That's all I
cared about. But honestly, deep down in my heart, I knew that I was hurting
so deep. Hurting because I could not have him. Yet, I loved him soooo
much. Never had I ever felt this love so strong coming out of my only heart
- my weak heart.

He drove me back to the airport. He hugged me and left me. I was looking at
his back as he left me. He didn't look back. I had a feeling that he was
sad as well, leaving me at such state. Then I felt so empty. Something
inside me was missing. Something I brought here to meet him, the
excitement, the waiting, the longing, the fullness. They were all gone. As
I took my seat, tears started dripping. I could not hold them any
longer. My heart ached so badly. I never thought that our meeting was
actually meant to be the end of our relationship.

I began to question, what would have happened if we had not met? What would
have happened if we had just talked on-line? Would it have been better if
we had just stayed where we were in two separate cities, and had been cyber
boyfriends? Questions started bombarding my thoughts. The more questions I
had, the deeper the sorrow.

As the planed ascended to the sky, breaking the gloomy afternoon, I started
to doze off. In my dreams, I remembered all the places we had gone
together. The restaurant on the hill for lunch. How we ate so much that we
were so full right before I left for Houston. I remembered the mall we
visited, where I bought him a videotape-Riverdance, and he bought me a
cologne of his most favorite one. I also remembered he took a picture of me
in front of his car. Every scenery was still fresh in my mind - very vivid
even till to this very date. How could I forget all those precious moments?
How could humanly possible I forget the memories I had with someone I truly
loved?

I was awaken by the gentle touch of my neighbor. She could not stand me.


How do u like the story so far? Email me with comments. Kenny7299@yahoo.com
Thank you