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CHAPTER THREE: Nice and Slow

Adam switched on the lights as soon as they reached the bedroom, and then he pulled Matt inside. Light immediately flooded the room, illuminating the large king size bed on the other side. Shutting the door, Adam shoved Matt up against it and proceeded fall upon him like a starving man. Before Matt could get a word out, Adam grabbed both of his hands, secured them in one of his own and held them high above Matt's head. Matt's heart thumped as Adam burrowed his head back in the crook of his neck. Matt exhaled in short, shallow spurts as he felt his excitement all the way down to his toes.

Adam breathed in the scent of Matt's body. He pressed his lips to Matt's soft flesh is a touch that was gentle but fleeting. A ripple of sizzling arousal careened through Adam's body. His most sensitive body part clenched in reaction to his proximity to Matt. He was already hard, but he seemed to be getting increasingly harder by the second.

He bent his knees and pushed one of his legs between both of Matt's. He could feel Matt's cock poking at his leg and he pressed his thigh harder against Matt's groin. His head tilted back and he pressed his mouth against Matt's in a hot, sweet kiss. Adam's breath was hard and his eyelids were heavy.

Adam knew that he should probably slow down, and he planned to do so, but he just couldn't seem to make himself stop. Matt tasted so damn good he just wanted to gobble him up whole. Remembering that Matt was still new to all this, he forced himself to take it easy. He severed their mouths and just kissed along the side of his neck. For Adam, there was almost a sense of surrealism to the whole situation: he couldn't believe he and Matt were finally going to make love.

Lifting his head, his eyes locked with Matt's. In a voice thick with lust he asked, "Are you okay?" Not trusting himself to speak, Matt only nodded in response. Reaching down, Adam grabbed a hold of Matt's jeans and quickly undid the top button before reaching for the zip. After unzipping his pants, he shoved his hands down below the waistline of Matt's jockey shorts and pushed both his jeans and underwear past his thighs and down his legs until they pooled at his ankles.

"Step out of them," Adam instructed. Matt complied quickly with the command and soon he was standing completely naked against the bedroom wall. He was nervous because this was the first time that Adam had ever seen him without his clothes and Matt was a little worried about his reaction. He knew his body was flawed and riddled with scars and he didn't want Adam to be repulsed.

"Turn around," Adam said. Matt felt a moment's panic before he reminded himself that it was Adam he was with and that he would never do anything to hurt him. Kicking aside his clothes with his left foot, he slowly turned around until he was facing the wall. Behind him Adam remained silent and unmoving for several moments. He slowly gazed up and down Matt's back at the ravaged flesh. From the base of his neck to the base of his spine, Matt's entire back was covered in twisted scar tissue.

Matt forced himself to hold still while Adam conducted his inspection. He hated having to expose Adam to the sight of his bare flesh because it was so disfigured. He had always known that there would come a time when Adam would see the ugly scars, but that didn't stop him from wishing there was a way to cover up the horrible scars. He always felt ashamed to expose his damaged skin.

Adam had never been able to see Matt's back unimpeded before and he took his time inspecting the damage. The skin was raised and contorted in a rope-like configuration. Just when Matt thought he couldn't take it anymore he heard a soft hiss quickly followed by the feel of something warm and moist at the center of his back where his skin had been torn the most. Unable to control himself his body jerked at the unexpected contact.

"Shhhh," Adam said as he continued to lave his skin. He kissed and licked his way up and down Matt's scarred back - occasionally stopping to suck briefly - before resting his forehead against the back of Matt's neck. Matt could feel the heat of Adam's breath on the nape of his neck before he began nibbling on the side of his neck. Bringing his hands around, Adam cupped Matt's chest and used the pads of his index fingers to lightly rub Matt's nipples.

Taken over by the force of the sensations, Matt began to slowly undulate his hips to the rhythm of Adam's stroking. He stood on his toes and pressed his butt back up against Adam's groin. Feeling the massive hardness in Adam's sweatpants, he began rocking gently back and forth over Adam's enormous erection. Adam could feel the hardness in his cock intensify.

Adam let out a groan of pleasure over Matt's enticement. One of his hands relinquished a nipple and dropped down to Matt's crotch. He wedged his hand between Matt's thighs and cupped his hard on. There, he groped a very stiff cock. Enveloping the throbbing member in his hand, he felt Matt's body lurch at the contact. Matt let out a strangled whimper at the sensual multi assault on his body. Having Adam's mouth on his neck, one hand on his nipple and the other on his painfully hard cock was almost too much for Matt to bear. He gasped as Adam squeezed his penis slightly while stroking up and down.

"Unngh," he moaned with unrestrained passion. "Oh, God, oh, God. Don't stop."

Responding to Matt's request, Adam used his fist to pump his penis faster, making sure to tighten and rotate on each downward stroke. Matt felt his entire body tense. A coiling sweetness unfurled from his abdomen, spreading upwards to his hyper sensitive nipples and downwards to his swollen cock, pooling at its engorged tip.

Matt whimpered as Adam slid his fingers over the head of his penis, gathering all the slick moisture that was leaking from the tiny opening at the head of his cock. Adam's fist clamped down on Matt's cock, squeezing him. Matt felt the sensation on his cock down to his toes and thought he might die from the pleasure of it.

Suddenly Adam stopped sucking on Matt's neck and raised his head. Releasing his hold on Matt's cock, he stepped back.

"What's wrong?" Matt asked dazedly in a husky voice. Turning around he looked at Adam, his eyes filled with concern and a touch of fear. "What's the matter?" he asked again. Reaching up with his right hand, he cupped Adam's neck and tried to pull his head down for a kiss only to feel Adam's resistance. Worried, he searched Adam's face for answers.

"Wait, wait," Adam said. "We have to take this slow, baby. It's our first time and I want it to be perfect." With that he reached up and took hold of Matt's hand. He slowly began leading him towards the bed at the center of the room.

*****

Matt's heart was clamoring so fast that he felt sure that at any minute it would stop beating altogether. When they reached the bed, Adam's animalistic side took control. Shoving Matt facedown on the mattress, he straddled his hips, careful not to rest his entire weight on his lover. Adam twisted his torso to reach over and grab something from the nightstand drawer. Matt couldn't see what it was, but he was pretty sure it was a condom.

With Adam's head facing Matt's feet, Adam leaned over and used both his hands to pry open Matt's butt cheeks. Gazing down at Matt's tiny winking rosette, Adam swallowed hard as he felt his arousal surge at the sight in front of him. Matt, meanwhile, held the bedspread in a death grip in both of his fists. He had never had anyone look at him so intimately and he felt overexposed. Matt felt his panic rising and took deep breaths in an attempt to subdue it.

Adam released one butt cheek and moved his hand down to the sensitive juncture of Matt's thighs. He could see Matt's balls there. He lightly stroked the tender skin, cupped his hands around them and felt their texture. Matt's skin was warm. He could see the muscles in Matt's thighs twitch. Matt had a light dusting of dark, silky hairs on his thighs and Adam ran his fingers over them as he tried to regain his bearings.

Adam knew that sex with Matt would be a very snug fit. Matt had only ever been penetrated once before and that had been six years ago. Not only that, but Adam was also quite larger. Larger than average. Although there would no way to escape some the discomfort, Adam knew that he would have to get Matt ready to be able to take him. Adam needed to ease into him slowly and open him up so that the sex wouldn't be excruciatingly painful.

Adam's body trembled with all the restraint he was exerting. His muscles quivered and sweat broke out on his brow. He felt like he was putting on a superhuman effort not to just start fucking Matt. He gritted his teeth as the thought entered his mind. Holding back was a lot harder than he'd anticipated, but he wanted to do this right for Matt. He'd never been with anyone as inexperienced as Matt and he was determined to exert patience even if it killed him.

Still looking down into Matt's delectable derriere, Adam released one of Matt's fleshy globes and brought his right hand to his mouth. Inserting his index finger, he moistened the digit before removing it and returning it to Matt's butt hole. Adding a gentle pressure, he pushed the tip of his finger past Matt's restricted muscles. Matt's hole was small and extremely tight. Immediately Matt's sphincter tightened on the intrusion and his entire body stiffened in reaction. Matt's mind instantly flashed back to that night six years ago that had left him wounded and bloody. He couldn't help it; he started to struggle.

Unprepared for Matt's abrupt resistance, Adam was temporarily unseated and leaned forward to steady himself. That action unintentionally forced his finger deeper into Matt's ass. Matt let out a whimper and clamped firmly around Adam's finger. Adam could feel Matt's fear and, reaching out with his left hand, he began to gently squeeze his left butt cheek trying to soothe him. It didn't work. Matt let out another whimper quickly followed by a sob. Unsure how to proceed with the rapidly deteriorating situation, Adam awkwardly hoisted himself off of Matt's back with his finger still lodged in Matt's orifice.

Once he was turned around, Adam was able to see tears streaming down Matt's face. He was gripping the covers like his life depended on it. Placing his hand on Matt's disfigured back and feeling him shiver reflexively, Adam leaned forward and asked softly, "What is it, Matt?" Instead of answering the question, Matt pressed his face further into the pillow and began crying in earnest. At a loss about Matt's behavior and uncertain what to do next, Adam said, "Please, Matt, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

He had to wait several moments before Matt calmed down enough to give him a response. Turning, Matt looked at Adam with red-rimmed eyes and a tear streaked face. Matt couldn't sustain eye contact long in the face of Adam's concern and ended up staring at the covers when he confessed, "I was remembering him. What happened and what he did to me." Adam didn't need to ask who or what. He immediately knew that Matt was referring to his stupid-as-shit step dad.

Carefully extricating his finger from Matt's now loose hole, he lay down on the bed next to him. Hearing about Matt's past was always upsetting, especially the part about Matt's step dad. Adam always wanted the bash the lowlife's head in for hurting Matt so much. Matt saw the fierce frown on Adam's face and misinterpreted it as Adam being mad at him.

"I'm sorry," Matt said, his voice breaking at the end.

Seeing Matt's apprehension, Adam asked, "For what?"

"For making you stop," Matt replied. He hated doing this again. After everything they had been through, the last thing he wanted was to make Adam suffer through additional frustration because of his issues. 

Half expecting Adam to walk out, Matt was surprised when Adam reached out to stroke the side of his face and ask, "Do you want to talk about it?" Matt knew what Adam was asking. His past was something that they had only ever discussed once before and Adam was the only person, other than Matt's therapist, who knew what had really happened to him. Taking a deep breath, Matt rolled over and looked at Adam. Adam saw a wealth of hurt in Matt's eyes. He wished there was something he could do to take all of Matt's pain away.

Matt's step dad had been pure evil. He drank like a fish and got mean as a skunk whenever he was drunk. All throughout Matt's adolescent his stepfather had been a constant brutal source of abuse. It had finally ended one night when Matt was seventeen.

Swallowing hard Matt said, "I never knew what would set him off. One minute he'd be fine and the next he'd be in a rage. He was always violent when he was angry. I'd come to expect that, but ..." He faltered before continuing, "That night something was different." Pausing again, he took a quick breath before forging on, "He was waiting for me in my room when I got home." A small glance at Adam's face told Matt he was watching him intently.

"It was so much worse than it had ever been before. He just kept hitting me and hitting me. He pushed me facedown onto my bed and pressed his knee into the back of my neck to keep me down. He took off his belt and hit me so hard I bled. The entire time he kept telling me how worthless I was, how he had to teach me a lesson. I screamed and screamed for him to stop, but he didn't. The pain was excruciating. I lost count of the number of strokes, of time. When he finally stopped beating me and got off me, I couldn't move. I thought he was done but I was mistaken."

Through Matt's entire speech Adam hadn't spoken or moved. Matt debated whether or not to continue, but he knew that it was time he told Adam everything. "He told me he knew I was a fucking queer. He said he saw me looking at other boys. He said that I was sick. He, uh, he took off my pants. He kept telling me how it was all my fault. He told me to look what I had made him do, what I was making him do. He raped me," Matt's voice was flat and cold when he made the admission. "By then I was passing in and out of consciousness and all I could remember was my ass feeling like it had been set on fire and was being ripped apart. Later they told me it was because he had torn my anal muscles."

Matt paused again, before finishing with, "After he was gone, I just lay there. It felt like forever. When I was finally able to get up and make it to the bathroom, I saw that I had underestimated the damage. The skin on my back was like something that had been put in through shredder. I called 911 and when the paramedics showed up they found me unconscious. Afterwards, at the hospital, I found out that I had gone into hypovolemic shock."

When Matt was done speaking, Adam was totally stunned. He knew that Matt's scars had been caused by his abusive step dad, but he hadn't known the extent of Matt's trauma. He was at a loss as to what to say. His mind was racing when he said, "No wonder you freaked out when I pushed you down and got on top of you. I'm so sorry."

"It's alright, you didn't know. I was so afraid to tell you. That's why I tried so hard to make sure that you never saw my back. I was afraid you'd ask questions and I didn't want to have to tell you." Matt said. He had always been secretly worried that the sight of his body would repel Adam. He knew he was far from perfect, and he recalled times in the hospital when even the nurses couldn't hide their disgust. After that he had made sure to always be clothed in the company of others. He always wore a shirt, even at the beach.

Now that he had told Adam, Matt was already starting to feel considerably better. He hadn't realized until that moment that keeping the trauma to himself had been like a shadow over their relationship. After everything that they had been through, Adam had a right to know. He owed it to Adam to tell him the truth and he was glad that everything was finally out in the open.

Adam broke into his thoughts when he asked, "So, you haven't ... what I mean to say is ... your stepfather is the only one who ..." he couldn't finish.

Matt knew what he was asking and said, "I haven't been with anyone since and ... it was my first time."

Adam was horrified, "Oh no, no honey. That wasn't your first time. What he did to you was a violation of your body. That's not sex. I feel like such an asshole, rushing you into all this. We should take it slow and lead up to making love." Adam felt like the worst kind of jerk. He and Matt had done no more than kiss over the last nineteen months and at his first opportunity he had attacked him like a sex-starved man. After everything that he had been through, Matt deserved someone who would initiate him slowly and sweetly into the art of erotic pleasure.

"Here's what we're going to do," Adam said taking hold of Matt's chin and bringing his face up to look at him. "We're going to take this nice and slow and we're going to do it right. I want it to be special for you."

He saw Matt's eyes widen at his admission right before he said, "No, you don't have to do that. I'm okay, I promise. I know how much you want this, how long you've waited. It's fine, really." But Adam saw relief in Matt's eyes that he wasn't able to hide from him.

Drawing him in slowly, Adam said, "This will be all for you. I want to please you. I wanna fuck you and I want you to love it." With that he pulled Matt in closely and caught hold of Matt's lower lip with his teeth. Sucking the soft, plump flesh into his mouth, Adam forced his tongue into Matt's mouth and proceeded to kiss him senseless.

They stayed like that for several minutes. Adam kissed Matt leisurely, plunging his tongue repeatedly into the warm depths of Matt's mouth. After a time, as their breathing grew labored and their pulses began racing, Adam slowly put a stop to the kiss. Drawing back he made an "mmph" sound before saying, "You taste like sugar." Chuckling he leaned forward to lick at the corner of Matt's mouth eliciting a giggle from him.

"Do you still want to spend the night?" Adam asked.

Nodding shyly Matt said, "Yes." He looked like he wanted to say something more but was unsure how to go about it.

"What?" Adam asked.

"I'd really like it if you held me," Matt admitted timidly.

"Okay," Adam replied. He maneuvered himself over Matt's body onto the other side of the bed where he pulled back the covers and slid underneath.

Matt followed Adam's lead and did the same, after which Adam reached over and switched off the bedside lamp leaving the room in darkness. Matt inched himself over until he was pressed up to the side of Adam's body. Adam turned until he was resting on his side, then reached over and easily repositioned Matt's body until they were spooning.

Adam wrapped his big muscular arms around Matt's middle and surrounded him with his warmth. Matt loved the feeling of Adam's arms around him. He felt safe and secure and loved. He knew that Adam would take care of him and protect him. That night, Matt slept better than he had in six years, held in the strength of his lover's embrace.