HOW WILL I GO ON ?

The following fictional story deals with sex among males. If you are offended by such material, are too young, or reside in an area where it is not allowed, depart.


Though not observed in this story, care enough about yourself and humankind to practice safe sex.

"Years ago my mother said to me, "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant."

Elwood P. Dowd (Jimmy Stewart), "Harvey"

The author retains all rights. No reproductions or links to other sites are allowed without the author's consent.
Once again, thanks to my big bro Tim for proofing and editing and suggesting some continuity changes.

Thanks again to everyone that's read and emailed about the story. With the posting of each new chapter I've received emails and words of encouragement from both current fans and new readers.

Ash - asherbradley@yahoo.com

Chapter 6



Preceding Hunter into the hall I decided that Sandy should be brought up to date, and headed for the nurse's station with him in tow.

"Whoa, Patrick! You two look a bit the worse for wear!" Sandy laughed when we appeared at the station.

"Yeah, well, it's been a long day, Sandy! Listen, Shaun and Ash were both sleeping, although Shaun was pretty restless.  A few minutes ago I was awake and saw Ash wake up and get out of bed. I was about to speak to him when he moved over and just stood there looking at Shaun.  Shaun was agitated, and Ash started stroking his back and talking to him and then climbed into bed with him. Shaun didn't really wake up, but Ash seemed to calm him down and then they both went back to sleep."

"I guess we'll just leave them then until one or both wakes up naturally.  Have either of you thought of anything further that might have brought about the earlier breakdown?"

Hunter expressed my thoughts exactly when he shrugged his shoulders and said, "Not a damn thing."



"Ahhh the warmth, nothing like feeling the warm body and rhythmic breathing of your true love when you wake up."  I thought to myself.  My cock stiffened, partially with the need to pee and partially because I always found lying in bed with Jacob arousing.  I loved feeling his body when he was sleeping, relaxed, but with muscles still hard beneath his smooth skin. With my pee-stiffened cock nestled in the valley of his firm butt, I thought to myself  "Ash Bradley, you are one lucky bastard to have fallen in love with this guy." I changed my mind. I was actually lucky to have this guy fall in love with me.

I drifted back to sleep and awakened sometime later with a more urgent need to pee.   Shifting back a bit, I rolled over to begin the extrication process.  Getting out of our king size bed was always an adventure. We tended to move back and forth on the bed as we slept, always staying in close contact with one another.  What this meant was that when you went to get out you were never sure exactly where you were in relation to the edge of the mattress.  I was more than a little surprised to feel myself slip over the edge of the bed before I'd even completed a full roll. "Must have been closer to the edge than usual," I thought.  I was unconcerned because our room was carpeted with a beautiful plush beige carpet that complemented the mocha walls. Another of Jacob's decorating triumphs. When he'd first painted the walls I had cringed, unable to comprehend the final product. As was usual with his projects, the final product was stunning.

I was even more surprised when I scraped my back on something on the way down, and with the distance I fell, and onto a tile floor.  Reaching for the nightstand to turn on the light, I caught the edge of something unexpected and flipped it onto the floor on top of me.

A very loud "SHIT" escaped my lips as whatever liquid had been on the nightstand drenched my chest and crotch.  As I felt my chest and lower I realized I was wearing something odd, and started to focus more on my surroundings.  I slowly realized that I was in a hospital room, wearing a hospital gown and had fallen out of a hospital bed, and was wearing the contents of a water pitcher.

The kick in the head that occurred at that moment, when I remembered where I was and what was happening, should have registered on seismic equipment around the country.

At that moment Patrick and Hunter, along with an attractive nurse came rushing through the door, no doubt in response to my "louder than hospital standards" "SHIT" of a moment ago.

I was not prepared for what happened next.  After a seemingly never ending pause during which they all stared at me, three people, two who were friends, and one that should have shown more compassion, all started laughing.  Not just a giggle either, all out belly-busting laughing.  Try as I might to be angry, their laughter was infectious and I was soon laughing myself.

Hunter was the first to get control of himself, reaching down and grabbing me under the arms and lifting me to my feet as though I weighed nothing.  

"Really nice Ash, really nice!"  Hunter whispered in my ear, laughing quietly in his deep, melodic voice as he backed off. Looking down I realized the hospital gown I was wearing had the opening in the front and, since I was wet, I was now clearly displaying my somewhat stiff manhood to the three people in front of me through wet, white, Y-Fronts.  My quick struggle with the sides of the gown brought on another round of good-natured laughter as I tried to cover myself.

"Mr. Bradley," the attractive nurse said, "your clothes are in the closet over there. I'll leave and let you dress. Then why don't you come on out to the nurses' station?  I'll call Doctor Selby. I'm sure that he'll want to speak to you."

"That sounds fine I suppose! But I do have two questions."

"Sure Mr. Bradley, anything I can do to help."

"First of all... what is your name?  I hate being almost naked in front of people I don't even know. Secondly...who is Doctor Dr. Selby?"

A really pleasing laugh escaped her lips as she answered. "I'm Sandy Lloyd, Mr. Bradley, an RN here on the hall. Please call me Sandy. I feel that all the men that I've seen almost naked should call me by my first name."

"Ah, a sense of humor, I like that in a nurse! I will be happy to call you Sandy if you will drop the Mr. Bradley. I'm Ash." I laughed.

"In answer to your second question, Dr Selby is a psychologist. He is the one that put you in that bed," she stated, pointing to the empty but mussed bed behind me.  "He's going to want to know what put you in such a state he had to sedate you."  She touched me lightly on the cheek. "Don't worry Mr. Bradley! Dr Selby is a really nice guy and very easy to talk to, and since you don't seem like a wild-eyed maniac, I think he'll just want to make sure you're all right."

I nodded and thanked her as the memories of what had happened earlier came flooding back.  I was gripped with a sudden panic, an almost uncontrollable urge to run as far as I could from this place. This must have shown on my face because Patrick and Hunter were both beside me holding me and whispering soothing things in my ear before I could blink.

Gently shaking them off, I urged them out of the room before turning to the closet to find my clothes. As I stripped off the gown, I pondered what to do with the wet briefs.  Wear them under my jeans or go commando. Deciding that they would just end up getting my jeans wet and making everything rub uncomfortably, I opted for commando.  Peeling them down I held them in my hand wondering what to do with them.  Since they weren't wet in the back I wrung them out as best I could, folded the wet front into the middle and wrapped the dry back around as best I could.  Stuffed in a pocket that way they shouldn't wick too much wetness into the jeans.

"Turning to leave the room after dressing, I noticed Shaun."  I realized it had been him that I was cuddled up to, his body comforting me as Jacob's had. I remembered his restless sleep and comforting him, calming him down, then climbing in with him and holding him as he slept peacefully.

His confession of earlier came flooding back also.  He had caused the accident, killed my Jacob, turned my life upside down.  I found it odd that I felt no hatred or animosity toward him.  In fact I felt an almost protective concern for him.  This child had tried to kill himself when he discovered that he'd been the one that to throw my life into turmoil.  Why did he feel that necessary?  That I had connected with Shaun so in the short time we'd known each other surprised and worried me. I didn't react or respond this way to other people. I was a private person, not prone to getting involved in others` problems. Yet, on the plane, I'd been inexplicably drawn to this young man and his troubles.

Walking over, I looked down at him, peacefully sleeping, his tanned arms a stark contrast to the white of the sheet that covered him. This was a cute kid!

"Shaun babe, I don't know why, but I'll be here to help you through this. For some reason, that seems to be our destiny at this point."  I brushed the hair from his forehead and leaned down, planting a gentle kiss.  "You'll make it kiddo! We'll both make it!"

As I exited the room, I figured I would have to look for the nurse's station to find Sandy and the guys. I was wrong.  They were waiting in the hall outside the room with another gentleman.  "Dr Selby, I presume?" I said as I put out my hand to shake.

"Yes, I'm Dr Selby, and you are Mr. Bradley I presume, not Mr. Stanley!"

I was a bit astounded that the doctor could that quickly come up with Stanley's name, and laughed, smiled and told him so.

"One of the things that I love is trivia and trivia games.  I believe it helps me keep my mind in good working order, and it also helps me with patients sometimes. To be able to converse about odd things that interest people helps me to break through barriers.  I don't seem to be having any trouble with you.  Let me be more formal. I am Dr. David Selby, a psychologist here on the hospital staff.  I sedated you and put you to bed about" (he checked his watch) "six hours ago. I really would like to talk to you before you leave.  I can't stop you from leaving, you were never admitted as a patient, but before you go I really would like to reassure myself that your earlier emotional outburst isn't likely to reoccur."

"Well, I'm hungry and thirsty, so if you could point me to a vending machine and then a place to sit, I'll tell you the story."

Over the next hour, sometimes through tears, I related to David, as he wanted to be called, the events of the last years.  I started all the way back in college with an abbreviated tale of meeting Jacob and our falling in love and our marriage.  I managed to tell the tale with few tears until I got to today's events. As I told my small audience about Shaun's revelation that he'd killed Jacob, the tears started. Patrick and Hunter both moved to the couch I was sitting on and embraced me.  With my head on Hunter's shoulder, and Patrick's hands gently stroking me from behind, I cried tears that had been storing up for months.  Dr. Selby sat there and watched, a thoughtful look on his face. When I was finally able to gather myself together, he sat forward and took my hands in his own.

"Ash, I've never lost someone that close to me, and even with all the training that we get as doctors we don't really know what to say when we hear a story like that.  I can only imagine how I would react if my wife were taken from me.  From a purely medical point of view I think that Shaun's revelation and your breakdown were both good things.  Shaun has faced the fact that he's deeply affected someone, caused them grief.  The fact that he got to know you and like you before he came to realize how he's affected you really put him in a tough situation.  The auto accident and Jacob's death became a much more personal issue for him because of you.  Your telling me your story will really allow me to help Shaun much more easily.  Things are intertwined, but things aren't as bad as he wants to believe."

He held up his hand to stop me from saying anything.

"That may sound crass, and I don't mean to brush aside Jacob's death, but if it really was an accident then Shaun needs to deal with it and move on.  That he knows you has to be a part of that equation, but not the whole equation."

I could only nod my head in agreement.  I didn't like agreeing but he was right.  Jacob's death had only become an issue because Shaun had gotten to know me.  It really shouldn't be a huge issue for him. It wasn't like it was premeditated, it really was an accident.

"It may actually be harder for you to deal with than Shaun because unless you cut off contact with him it will always be there in the background, and that's a much more personal issue for you." He paused. "Listen guys...Since I was here at the hospital late I was just about to go in and check on Shaun. I may give him one more dose of the sedative.  I'd really like him to sleep through the night! Why don't you all go home and sleep, which is what I'm going to do? We can also let Sandy to get back to work."

There was a collective nod of agreement, especially from Hunter and Patrick, who were, I suspected, extremely tired.

"In the morning I would like you guys to come back if you can.  Shaun will be awake; we'll feed him and then sit down in my office for a chat. Ash, I really want you here most of all. I think that having you there will really help Shaun understand that you're not running off on him."

"David, I'd really like to stay the night with Shaun. I don't want him waking up for any reason during the night and being alone."

Hunter and Patrick quickly echoed my request.

"One of you may stay, and only one and I think it should be Ash. He's the one that Shaun will wonder about if no one is there. You other two go home and get some sleep, come back about nine and come to my office, sixth floor south."

Hunter and Patrick both looked at each other, rose to attention, saluted and let out a hearty "Yes Sir!"

"Nice to know everyone's still got a sense of humor." Doctor Selby said as he shook his head and said good night.

I gave my two friends a hug and turned to go back to Shaun's room.

"If you need anything at all, you just let me know." Sandy said as I retreated down the hall.

Pushing open the door I saw Shaun's sleeping form on the bed. Pulling the chair up beside and taking his hand in mine, I settled down to wait.  I felt tears well up as I realized in my own mind just how similar this felt to sitting with Jacob before he died! The difference being that this boy was still very much alive.  "What do I have to do to keep him there?" I wondered.



"Patrick, why don't you just come back to my place?" Hunter asked.  We emerged from the elevator and approached the revolving door of the hospital.  "It's only about four miles from here, and I know you're not that close.  I have plenty of room."

"I don't know, I'm only about 30 minutes away and I don't want to put you out.  You've had enough to deal with today."

"I know this will sound wimpy, but I would actually like for you to come with me if you don't mind.  With everything that's happened I don't really want to go home alone" (Hunter checked his watch) "this morning! Do you realize that it's approaching one already?"

"No, I didn't, and Hunter, I don't mind at all staying with you tonight. I really can understand your not wanting to go back home alone. It's not wimpy! No one should have to be along going through trying times."

"How `bout if I drive then?  If your car's in the garage across the street it should be okay."

Hunter proceeded to lead me to the second level of the garage, to a beautifully maintained classic pick-up truck.  After briefly admiring it and getting a short history from Hunter we climbed in for the short trip.  Hunter's "place" turned out to be a small loft, nicely decorated, with warm colors and soft lighting.  As he led me down the hall to the spare room he stopped and grabbed some towels from the linen closet. "There's a queen bed in here so there's plenty of room. The sheets are clean too. Here are some towels, and the bathroom is the door at the end of the hall.  I assume that you'd like a shower. I myself feel sort of grubby after today."

As he turned to hand me the towels he lowered his head in an attempt hide the tears in his eyes.  I took the towels and dropped them to the floor before pulling Hunter`s head to my shoulder.

"Oh, Patrick!" he sobbed "I know that Shaun's going to be OK and I should be happy, not crying."

"Hunter, Hunter...don't think a thing of it. It's been an emotionally draining day, especially for you what with finding Shaun and dealing with that."

Hunter's sobs quickly abated and he wrapped me in a hug.  

"Come on, dude. I think you need a shower and I'm just the person to scrub your back."

Hunter raised his head and looked at me!

"As friends, guy, as friends! I think we could both use a little comfort tonight."

Hunter preceded me to the bathroom, reaching in to turn on the shower as I started to undress.  I was down to my white socks and 2Xist briefs before he got the temp to his liking.  Hunter gave me an appraising glance as he pulled his polo shirt off over his head. As he toed off his shoes and leaned down to take off his socks, I leaned against the wall and removed mine.  He reached for the waist and zipper of his jeans as I leaned down to peel off my briefs.  At I stood, tossing my underwear onto my other clothes I was greeted by the site of Hunter Johnston balanced on one foot tugging off one leg of his jeans. He was turned just slightly, causing his snowy white briefs to stretch tightly over the ass cheek that was toward me.  As the leg came up just a bit higher, his cock and balls dropped into the slightly stretched pouch of his briefs, the leg opening gaping slightly. It took a Herculean effort on my part not to spring instant wood.

Before he finished removing his clothes, I drew the curtain aside and stepped into the shower.  Grabbing the soap, I started to slowly lather up, waiting for Hunter to climb in.  As he got into the tub, I maneuvered him into the spray and got him wet and then proceeded to wash him. Gently soaping his chest and arms, stooping to soap his legs and feet, before gently taking his soft manhood in my hands and stroking it several times to clean it.  Just as he was starting to stiffen I moved to his balls, rolling them in my soapy hands before moving my hand back and gently soaping his perineum.  I knew that I was running a fine line between washing and foreplay and didn't want to cross that line, so I stood up and moved close, reaching behind him to soap his muscular back, moving my hands down to the ass that has so nicely filled his jeans, quickly but firmly running a couple fingers through his crack to clean it.

Hunter was relaxed and enjoying my attention. I could tell by the rampant hardon that was poking me in the belly.  I figured that was okay because mine was drilling his belly pretty well too.  Backing up, I moved Hunter under the spray and then turned his back to me and pulled his head back.  Applying a generous amount of shampoo I gently washed his hair, massaging his scalp gently, trying to get him as relaxed as possible.

After rinsing his hair, he started to turn and wash me, but I stopped him and let him know that I only wanted for him to relax and feel good tonight, nothing more.  I quickly washed myself then cut the water off, drawing the curtain back and reached for the towels. As we toweled dry no words were spoken.

Taking my hand Hunter led me not to the guest room but to his bedroom.  The king bed standing there, inviting us in.  

"Sleep with me, Patrick?" Hunter asked.

"Hunter, of course I'll sleep with you. I want you to sleep well.  Today has become a day about friends and companionship and caring, and I think we'll both sleep better if we're together. Why don't you climb in there, and I'll check the lights and door?"

Hunter did climb in, and I drew the light blanket up over him before going to turn out the lights and check the door.  By the time I returned he was fast asleep. Climbing in behind him and moving to hold his sleeping form, I couldn't help but wonder if this was the guy for me.


Today I am pleased to add the following set of links to my story. The six authors here, which includes me, were referred to as "The Nifty Six" by someone and we have adopted the name when referring to ourselves. This is an expanded list of our stories with Nifty catagories and hyperlinks. If you read and enjoy any of these please let the author know. We thrive on feedback!!

Once again.....Thanks again for reading "How Will I Go On".

Ash - asherbradley@yahoo.com


Author

Story

Nifty Category

Date of Posting
Ash Bradley Ash and Dad Incest Jun 6, 2003
How Will I Go On College Current
Evan Bradley Ambush Highschool April 19, 2003
Rubbing My Face in Hawk Adult Friends May 31, 2003
Tylers Take Down Adult Friends May 18, 2003
The Crew Adult Friends Current
Tim Mead Dr Tim and the Boys /
Tim and the Guys		 College Current
Out of the Night Adult Friends last posting Jan 8, 2004
du Temps Perdu College Jul 30, 2003
Beautiful Music College - Campus Scenes March 7, 2004
Billy Budd College - Campus Scenes July 11, 2004
Placet College - Campus Scenes July 26, 2004
Mickey S. Billy and Danny College Current
Sandy Hook Authoritarian Dec 4, 2003
Wet Mothers Day Encounters July 27, 2002
Dude Encounters May 17, 2002
Palm Springs Weekend Encounters June 21, 2002
Twin Reality/Twin Fantasy Incest June 19,2002
Rough Fuck Encounters May 27, 2002
Fun at the Laundromat Encounters Jun 9, 2002
Twin Fuck Encounters Jul 1, 2002
Man in Black Authoritarian May 24, 2002
Tony and Me Authoritarian May 9, 2002
No Longer a Virgin College May 31, 2002
The Wall College May 20, 2002

Tales from the reservation
Discovery Encounters May 13, 2002
Fantasy Gang Bang Encounters May 14, 2002
Big Dick and Poppers Encounters May 19, 2002
The Reservation Encounters May 20, 2002
Friday Afternoon Encounters May 25, 2002
Play Ball Encounters Jun 2, 2002
Straight Blow Job Encounters Jun 7, 2002
Latin Thong Encounters Jun 19, 2002
Group Suck Encounters Jul 7, 2002
Sunday Morning Encounters Apr 26, 2004
Patrick Young Clay Beginnings July 22, 2003
Tom Wyatt TNT Files Adult Friends May 28, 2003
Slave To Love Authoritarian Jan 4, 2004