The following fictional story deals with sex among males. If you are offended by such material, are too young, or reside in an area where it is not allowed, depart.

Though not observed in this story, care enough about yourself and humankind to practice safe sex.

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The author retains all rights. No reproductions or links to other sites are allowed without the author's consent.

Welcome back to Tim.  He just enjoyed a trip to visit family and picked this chapter up first thing upon his return to proof for me. Thanks also, Dad, for your nice comments.

Thanks again to everyone that's read and emailed about the story. With the posting of each new chapter I've continued to received emails and words of encouragement from both current fans and new readers. It's a real shot in the arm to know just how many people are reading the story.

Ash -

Chapter 8

"Who was that at the......oh shit!" Hunter exclaimed, turning and dashing for the bedroom. He obviously hadn't been expecting anyone that would be invited in at 7:30 in the morning.

While I broke out into gales of laughter at Hunter, Bryan's jaw dropped and his eyes were as big as saucers.  Hunter, assuming that I had answered the door and gotten rid of whoever was there had appeared from the bedroom in only the thong I had tossed him.  An item of clothing that, from the brief glance I had, he seemed to fill out extremely well.   The look on Hunter's face when he realized that I had admitted a stranger to the apartment was priceless, but it was definitely topped by the view of Hunter`s magnificent ass we were afforded, the strap of the thong disappearing sexily between his buns, as he hastily turned and beat feet for the bedroom. I'm not sure but through my laughter I might have heard myself described with several colorful, although vulgar, terms.  

As Bryan stood there wide eyed, I managed to get myself under control and Hunter returned several moments later, barefoot and shirtless, but with that wonderful, snow white thong now covered in tight faded jeans.  

"Let's start this whole business over guys," I said snickering.

"Bryan Wright, correct?" Bryan nodded "I am Patrick Adams, the now semi clothed dude over there is Hunter Johnston, Shaun's uncle. So you have indeed found the correct apartment at this early hour. Just how can we help you?"

Bryan directed his comments to Hunter, not me, but I'll forgive the kid that because he's cute and Hunter is, after all, Shaun's uncle. "Mr. Johnston, I'm trying to find Shaun.  He just disappeared from home. After badgering his mother I managed to get her to tell me that he was sent out here to live with you. We're friends from school. Well, more than friends." Bryan blushed and was stammering at this point. He finally lifted his head and defiantly looked Hunter right in the eye. "We're gay, Mr. Johnston, and that caused a lot of troubles the last six months or so at home.  I don't know how you feel about that, but if Shaun's here I really need to see him!"

"Bryan, that you're gay isn't a problem for me or Patrick.  Shaun is here but he's not `here.'" Hunter made a gesture indicating that Shaun wasn't in the apartment. "Will you tell Patrick and me about you and Shaun? The way things have gone for him I think I want to know exactly what you're doing here before I tell you where Shaun is."

Bryan started to speak but Hunter held up a hand to stop him.  

"I feel that it's my prerogative right now, even though Shaun's eighteen, to know about you two before I tell you anything.  I'm his only relative here, so I have to do what I think is best for him." From the stricken look on Bryan`s face I could tell that he was extremely concerned about Shaun.  That was something in the plus column for him.  "Bryan," I said, reaching out and messing his hair. "It's not that bad, don't worry, now come on; let's move this into the kitchen.  I'm a breakfast person, and Patrick and I have to leave here in about 40 minutes, so let's multitask and get some breakfast while you tell this story...pancakes okay with everyone?" Turning to head for the kitchen he noted Bryan`s suitcase sitting by the door. "Leave your bag here in the living room, Bryan, we'll decide where you sleep later."

In the kitchen Hunter got a griddle out and placed it on the stove to heat.  Turning to the cabinets and fridge he began pulling out makings for pancakes.  As he quickly and efficiently prepared the batter he directed Bryan and me in retrieving dishes, silverware, orange juice and syrup.  With the table set and cakes cooking I poured coffee for myself from the coffee maker on the counter. Hunter must have started that while I was in the bathroom earlier.  I turned and raised the pot toward Bryan and Hunter in a gesture that asked if they wanted a cup.  "No thanks, Patrick, never acquired a taste for the stuff.  I'd love a Coke if you have one though."

"Cokes in the fridge, on the bottom shelf!  Black coffee for me, if you please." Hunter said, as he expertly flipped pancakes.

Bryan retrieved a soda from the fridge as I poured coffee for Hunter.  We stood and watched and waited as Hunter completed making a stack of about twelve pancakes.  When Hunter turned off the stove and picked up the plate we all moved to sit at the table.

Bryan started his tale as Hunter and I dug into our pancakes.  Between bites he related how he and Shaun had met and become friends, their shared puberty and subsequent experimentation.  He told us how as they had gotten older they had become close and how they had finally consummated their relationship with their first anal sex.  Bryan's description of their first intercourse was told in hushed tones and with such obvious tenderness that I had no doubt that Bryan did love Shaun.

When he told us about being discovered by Shaun's dad, and the results of that, Hunter and I exchanged knowing glances. No wonder Shaun was having such difficulty dealing with things. Imagine having been found under such circumstances, having your parents turn on you, being in the accident, and learning that you'd been responsible for someone's death!

Then months of being forcibly separated from someone you love, watched over so that you couldn't see that person, having your every step monitored.   Shaun and Bryan had been living virtually as prisoners since they had been discovered.  By the time he finished relating what was I'm sure an abbreviated version of the last six months, Bryan's eyes were glistening with tears.

Hunter got up from the table and placed his plate in the dishwasher before moving over next to Bryan.  Kneeling down and wrapping his arms around Bryan he reached up to turn the boy's face toward him and spoke softly.

"Bryan, you've done nothing wrong.  Falling in love is never wrong.  Your parents` and Shaun's parents` reactions to your relationship was wrong.  The only thing I can say in their defense is that finding out a child is gay is usually a shock to parents. Knowing just how hard a gay person`s life can be it's not something that parents want for their children. You can only hope that a parent's love for their child will overcome any negative thoughts and assumptions that they have.  We all know that isn't usually the case.  This is going to be hard for you to hear, but early yesterday Shaun tried to kill himself."  Bryan's eyes grew wide at this and I could see him tense, expecting the worst.

"He's alright, but he's still in the hospital. That's where we, Patrick and I, are headed in a few minutes."

"I have to go with you Mr. Johnston! I have to see him, tell him how sorry I am, and beg him to forgive me.  I should have stood up to my parents. I should have never treated Shaun the way I did the last months of school. I have to try and make it up to him." Bryan was crying and begging.

"Bryan, you can't go with us this morning.  We're meeting with Shaun and a psychologist this morning. He wants to have us there because Shaun's attempted suicide is intertwined with all of us. You're not involved in that, at least not yet. We will try to tell the doctor what you told us this morning and see how he wants us to tell Shaun. There is good news though. I expect Shaun to be released from the hospital by the doctor after we talk to him.  I can't think of anything that would be better medicine for Shaun than coming back here and finding you. I hope that Dr. Selby agrees. Now, I better get a shirt and shoes on so that Patrick and I can get to the hospital. You make yourself comfortable. Shaun's room is the first door on the right down the hall, the bathroom is the door at the end and there are towels under the sink in the bathroom if you want to shower."

Bryan hugged Hunter and thanked him, before Hunter went off to finish getting dressed.  After placing his plate in the sink Bryan retrieved his bag from the living room and went to Shaun's room.  I retrieved Bryan's plate and put it in the dishwasher along with mine. Deciding that the dishwasher was full enough for a run, I found the detergent and started it up before I headed for the bedroom to see how Hunter was doing.

As I passed Shaun's room I saw Bryan face down on the bed, his face buried in Shaun's pillow. From the movements of his body I could tell that he was crying.  I wondered about going to him and finally decided that he shouldn't have to deal with what he'd just found out alone.  I moved in and sat on the bed beside him, reaching out to rub his back. He turned to face me, his hair falling over his face.  

"Bryan, try and take a nap!" I said as I reached up to move his hair from his eyes. "You've got to be tired after traveling out here and being tired will just make you more emotional.  You've got a couple hours before we get back I imagine. Get a good nap so that you're rested and ready to greet Shaun." I continued to rub Bryan's back and could feel him relax.

"Okay, Patrick, I'll try to do that. Thank you for coming in. When I came in here I was feeling so tired and alone.  I lay down on the bed and Shaun's scent on the pillow made it seem like he was here. I couldn't stop myself from crying!  Do you really think he'll be alright?"

"Oh yes, Bryan, I think Shaun's going to be great.  He's a good kid and he's got a really strong support system now... and with you here... I think you're both going to be fine."

Bryan's mumbled "oh good" was barely audible.  His fatigue and the emotional release of finding and hearing about Shaun had caught up with him. He fell fast asleep before my eyes.

As I emerged from Shaun's room Hunter was coming down the hall.  He looked at me, then peered in at Bryan as I pulled the door closed.

"He was crying when I walked by.  Mostly just tired and emotionally exhausted I think. I just rubbed his back and reassured him that Shaun's gonna be okay and he fell right to sleep."

"Probably just what he needs at this point.  We better get going. We're cutting it close for being on time at Dr. Selby's office."

The drive to the hospital was uneventful, and amazingly enough the traffic lights were with us, not usually the case when you're running a bit late.  We managed to park the car and get up to Dr. Selby's office with time to spare.

The doctor's receptionist, or was it nurse, verified that we were who she thought we were and asked us to wait a few minutes.  We had barely taken seats when Ash and Shaun walked in. As Hunter and I rose to greet them I noted that they both looked much better than the last time we'd seen them. Shaun rushed over to Hunter and embraced him in a nice hug, appearing to whisper something in his ear.  When he released Hunter he grabbed me in a hug too whispering "thank you" in my ear. I just smiled and winked at him and told him he had nothing to thank me for.

"Good morning everyone!" Dr. Selby said as he entered the office. He had a backpack on and a small vinyl cooler in one hand. "Why don't you all follow me?" he said, waving his arm in a "come on" gesture. It was more an order than a question and since we were already on our feet we followed him out the door, down the hall and into the elevator.  We all looked at each other, wondering where we were going, but no one questioned the doctor.  I was going to question him as we walked out the front door of the hospital but he started talking once we cleared the door.

"Right about now you're all wondering just where the wacky doctor is taking you, correct?"

There were chuckles from all of us but it was Ash that voiced a hearty "yes" in answer to the question.

"Well, my office isn't set up for more than about three people, and it's a beautiful morning. So I decided on a field trip."

We slowed down before crossing the street and proceeded at a brisk walk up the next block.

"There's a nice park two blocks up, lots of trees, and some nice grassy areas.  I like to go there at lunch time to relax, so I keep a blanket in the backpack at the office. I thought that going there would be better than sitting in a conference room at the hospital.  I also snagged a few bagels from the cafeteria, one of the things they can't screw up, and some juices.  For some reason young men always seem to be hungry."

"Sounds nice Doc, and it's a beautiful morning!" Ash responded.

Shaun seemed pretty quiet right now, no doubt wondering just what was going to happen. I'm sure that he assumed, and was probably right, that most of this talk was going to focus on him.  

When we arrived at the park Dr. Selby headed directly for a nice open, sunny spot. Dropping the backpack and cooler he proceeded to produce an, old looking, wool blanket that he spread on the ground.  Plopping down on one corner he pointed to Shaun and motioned him down beside him, then motioned the rest of us down onto the blanket.  The next several minutes was spent passing out the bagels and juices that Dr. Selby had brought with him.  When we were all settled the doctor raised his arm up and grabbed the back of Shaun's neck for an affectionate squeeze.

"Okay, Shaun, just to clarify things, I'm Dr. Selby.  Please call me David, I like to feel like my patients are comfortable with me and I think first names help break down some barriers, even though it's sometimes hard for a young person to call a doctor by their first name. You get used to it. I know a good bit about what's been going on from talking with Ash late last night.  Right now I'd like to hear about the last 6 month or so of your life, please!"

Shaun looked sort of scared, almost "deer in the headlights," so Ash, who had ended up sitting opposite Shaun in our little circle, scooted over so that their knees were almost touching and took Shaun's hands.

"Babe, you need to tell someone the whole story. After talking to David yesterday I realized just how much emotional stress I've put myself under the last six months by not facing Jacob's death.  You've been under the same type of stress, but for different reasons.  Talk to David!"

Well...once Shaun started you couldn't stop him.  I only knew a bit of what had happened.  Hearing Shaun talk about meeting Bryan and their relationship, the way his parents had treated him and the accident brought all of us to tears. David's method to handle most of what went on was to let us interact with Shaun.  With subtle signals he let us know that we could question Shaun, try to draw more details from him. When Shaun was wracked with sobs telling us about realizing that he had killed Ash's partner we didn't know exactly what to do. David motioned Ash over to Shaun and let nature take its course. Shaun ended up wrapped in Ash's arms. We couldn't tell who was crying harder at that point, Ash or Shaun.    When the two of them settled down David actually separated them and asked Hunter to hold Shaun and me to hold Ash.

"Okay, guys!  I think I have a pretty good picture of just how things have progressed.  Ash, what you went through isn't all that unusual.  It happens most often when a spouse dies and there is no strong local support system left for someone." Ash started to say something but David held up his hand. "I know, you told me that Jacob's family and yours were there for you, but neither of them lived close enough to be a real physical presence and I get the impression that you and Jacob weren't the type to have loads of close friends. Not having someone really close to help out and watch over the survivor lets that person more easily start to shut people out.  They stop doing things, cut off from people at work.  They don't really get to the point in the grieving process where they begin to move on.  Not to forget...but to continue living.  I think that getting to know Shaun, and the events of yesterday, have jump started that process for Ash." He moved his gaze to Ash. "As for you specifically, I want to know where you live. I want you to continue to talk to someone and through professional organizations I know people all over. So I'll give you a name if I know someone in your area."

"Thanks, David. I think you're right. I just shut down and never really grieved for Jacob.  When my folks or Jacob's would call it was easy enough to convince them that I was doing okay.  It was also pretty easy to withdraw from other people; everyone treats you with kid gloves when something like this happens.  I'd very much appreciate a name for someone to see when I get home."

"Well, I think you're moving now thanks to Shaun. Not that I'd recommend this method for helping someone out." He said looking directly at Shaun.

" for you Shaun!  Right now, at this moment in time I think you have just what you need, what you didn't get at home, a support group.  When you were discovered and in essence "came out" to your parents they should have been there to support you. Unfortunately you encountered what many gay youth encounter, parents that can't handle it.  You also lost your lover`s support because of the way things ended up working out.  Add to that, no parental support behind you when the accident occurred, and it's a wonder you didn't try to kill yourself sooner."

>From the look on Shaun's face we all knew that David had hit on something that Shaun hadn't admitted to.

The whispered "I had thought about it" from Shaun confirmed our assumption.

"Well, Shaun, from what I saw yesterday and this morning you have a great support mechanism now. These three guys have been here for you and I think will be there for quite a while. I would still like to see you a time or two just to keep track of things, OH HELL...who am I kidding...after a suicide attempt the state makes me keep track of you for six months.  So when we walk back you can set a couple appointments with my assistant.  I think that what you all need to do now is get Shaun's things, if any are left in the room, and take him home. He may be a little off his feed because of the sedative for the next day or so, but there should be no ill effects."

Glancing at his watch Dr Selby rose from the blanket. "I really have to be getting back. It's almost eleven and I have appointments starting then."

As the rest of us rose and shook the blanket off, Shaun stood there looking as if he had a decision to make. Evidently he made it because he headed over to David and gave him a big hug. "Thanks doc!"

We had another brisk walk back to the hospital, Ash and Shaun walking in front with a decided spring in their step. Hunter and I dropped back with David to ask him about Bryan. His answer was what we both expected.  Arriving in David's office Shaun and Hunter got together with Ann, the assistant, and made follow up appointments for Shaun while Ash and I headed up to the room for Shaun's things.

"Hey, guys!" we heard the call from the nurses station. "How's Shaun?" Sandy inquired.

"Sandy, we just spent almost two hours with David, Dr. Selby, and I think that Shaun's going to be fine.  Dr. Selby thinks that just having the support that he's gotten from Hunter and us had allowed him to turn a corner and will provide the structure and support to his life that will help him move on."

"What about you Ash? How are you?"

"Sandy, it's been a tough twenty-four hours but I've cried more and grieved more in the last day than I did in six months. David suggested that I talk to a doctor close to home and is going to recommend someone, but I think I'll be fine now."

Sandy grabbed us both into a group hug before saying goodbye and heading back to work.

It didn't take us any time to make sure that Shaun's things were all gathered and we headed down to meet the Johnston boys in the lobby.

As we headed back to Hunter`s place, I couldn't help but wonder just what Shaun was going to do when he discovered "who'd been sleeping in his bed."

"Bryan, I love you!" I heard whispered in my ear.  I was in bed with Shaun, in his room.  We'd gone to his house after school because his parents were never home early.  As soon as we'd stepped through the door to his room he'd been all over me, pinching my nips, stroking my cock through my pants, moving to strip my clothes off as fast as he could, all the while playing my body like a fine musical instrument. By the time I was naked I was almost ready to shoot.  He backed me up to the bed and lay me down before stripping off his own clothes.  Turning me onto my side he snuggled up behind me, wrapped his arms around me and proceeded to reach over my hip to jerk me off.  Licking my neck and pinching my nipples with the hand that was under me, he had me jerking and spasming like a fish on a hook. All too soon I was shooting my creamy load as he worked his slimy fist over my cock head.

I awoke just as I was shooting to find myself in a strange bed, in a strange room, humping a strange pillow.  It took me a minute to remember where I was.  I didn't know whether to be ashamed or ecstatic that I had gotten myself off on Shaun's pillow! I was so happy to have found his uncle, but so scared that he had tried to kill himself.  I know I shouldn't have been. After all, I'd thought about the very same thing recently.  Getting out of bed I skinned off my jeans and briefs, using the briefs to clean up my cum as best I could.

Sniffing my pits I decided that I needed a shower and looked around for my suitcase.  It was over by the dresser.  Pulling my tee shirt over my head I lay it and my other dirty clothes beside the suitcase. Retrieving clean briefs, my toothbrush and razor I headed for the door. Listening carefully and not hearing any movement in the apartment I headed naked for the bathroom.

The water was hot and plentiful so I soaked under the spray for longer than I probably should have.  Getting out of the shower I dried off before wiping the mirror and shaving. Getting the fuzz off my teeth took a really good brushing, but when I was done I was pleased with the image that was reflected in the mirror.  Donning my briefs, a nice snug pair of C9's from Champion that hugged my prick and pulled things up into a pretty nice package, I opened the door to the bathroom and started back to Shaun's room.

About half way there I heard movement from the living room and was startled when someone stepped into the hall in front of me. The realization that it was Shaun caused me to stop dead in my tracks, my feet as firmly planted as if they were in concrete. Shaun paused and then came toward me. Before I knew it he was wrapping his arms around me, cupping my ass and lifting me up. My legs naturally went around his waist and he bounced me two or three times spinning around in the hall. When he stopped spinning and bouncing he lowered me enough to place his lips in front of mine.

"Bryan...I don't know how you got here or why you're here, but I know I'm sooooo happy to see you!!" Shaun practically shouted before planting his lips on mine and trying to massage my tonsils with his tongue.

"God...guys...young love's grand ain't it!!" Hunter exclaimed as he and Patrick and Ash entered the hall.

For just a second I didn't know whether to be embarrassed or not at being in my underwear. But I remembered my arrival earlier today and figured Patrick and Hunter wouldn't mind. I didn't know about Ash.  Then I realized that I didn't care!  My briefs-encased butt was in the hands of the guy I loved.

Don't forget to check out some of the following stories. If you read and enjoy any of these please let the author know. We thrive on feedback!!

Once again.....Thanks again for reading "How Will I Go On".

Ash -



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