Date: Thu, 4 Apr 2013 15:27:57 -0400
From: preecherdave@gmail.com
Subject: Introspection

Introspection

If you like this story or any that you have read on Nifty, a reminder from
Nifty that it needs your donations to keep these stories being published.
All donations will help.

http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html

This document contains homosexual themes and acts. If you are underage or
don't like the subject, then don't read it.

The story is not autobiographical and is a product of the writer's fertile
imagination.

Comments                            preecherdave@gmail.com


Something was on Peter's mind. You cannot be with a guy for over a year
without noticing those small changes and signals. We were at breakfast on a
Saturday morning, drinking our reviving coffee, both of us are addicted
enough that we have to have that first cup, eating a simple breakfast and
reading the Globe and Mail on our iPads. We had been out the night before
at a club with friends and danced until we were ready to drop. That didn't
stop us when we arrived home.

My memory went back to last night. I had worked hard all week, up early and
home after 6 and our sex life had been a bit sparse. Well, not our often
once in the morning and repeat at bedtime. I was really keyed up from the
week and the dancing. OK, I was horny as hell and as it turned out so was
Peter. I had given him a not so chaste kiss as we arrived at my car after
leaving the club. I had mumbled to him to drive safely but fast enough
because I had plans for when we got home. He had looked a bit surprised as
that was not my usual style to be so blatant and verbal. Well, I guess my
hand had also gone to places it didn't usually go to in public. He finally
had looked at me smiling, telling me to bring it on.

I arrived back first. I must have been really randy. I was waiting for him
at the door. When he entered the condo, I had forced him against the wall
and invaded his mouth. Being the well brought up man he was, he had
reciprocated with equal vigour. I had him naked in a very few minutes with
his clothes strewn around the entrance way, in fact his pants and shorts
were still around his ankles when, I, still fully clothed, had knelt in
front of him and had taken him in my mouth. He moaned loudly when I took
him all the way into my throat.

"Shit Paul, I don't know what you are on, but hell it is great."

I was a little taken back by the comment but my lust was in full flight and
I passed it off as a random compliment. Was it a compliment?  Was this so
unusual? I'd have to reflect on that later. I came off him and led him to
our bed. I playfully pushed him on the bed and stripped quickly. I had,
with some grand gestures, taken the lube out of the drawer, opened it with
a flourish and put a lot in him. In fact, I had used my finger and then
fingers in and out of him for over a minute until he was moaning and his
body moving erratically back and forth. My other hand and fingers were
touching and squeezing his nipples. Again with a flourish, I had applied
the lube to my very red cock and had entered with some care but I was soon
fucking him hard, fast and deep. He was making little guttural noises in
his throat. His hands were all over my back with light touches and then
with scratches that were going to leave marks. I retaliated with kisses to
his neck and chest that were going to leave some impressions as well.

This was not love making; it was aggressive, lusty sex. I allowed myself to
back off once and then came back with a vengeance. Soon I was at the brink
and then went in all the way and held. I made a lot of noise. We hadn't had
sex since Thursday morning and I came a lot, shuddering as the each pulse
fired the nerves in my body. As soon as I came down a bit and regained my
breath, I came out and my mouth was on him. I could feel the wetness in him
when I put my finger in him. He lasted just over a minute and my mouth was
filled. I asked him if he wanted to share and he nodded yes and we did. He
was still wet when I entered him again this morning.

We hadn't said a lot about last night but he was obviously, a little
surprised and pleased by my impromptu performance. Still, there was
something on his mind. Finally, after about 30 minutes, I asked him if
there was something bothering him.

He looked at me and with no preamble, he got it out. "Paul, I met a guy a
week ago at a work out and we got to talking and he wondered if you and I
would like to go his place tonight and be with his partner and him."

"Interesting choice of words, 'Be with his partner and him'? Go out
dancing, supper, a movie?"

"Well, he indicated that we could eat and then do whatever the mood would
lead us to do."

Peter and I had never made vows of monogamy or eternal vows of love. I
guess we had never really discussed sex with other couples or with other
partners for that matter. We had been tested and didn't use condoms. I had
wondered if on his business trips he might have indulged in doing things
that his mood might him lead to. I had found some condoms a while back but
had assumed they were left overs. I never had had done anything on my
trips; I guess I just assumed that we had the same frame of reference. If
this was what he meant, it really was right out of left field and only
hours before we would see where the mood would lead us. I was left not
knowing what to say. I decided to see if my thoughts were correct.

"What do you mean? What exactly might that entail?"

"Well, you know it could lead to some pretty exciting, different things
that we have never down before."

"You are asking me to go to someone's place that I have never met and
possibly find out that someone there was in the mood for let us say, going
to bed and having sex, him with his partner with us watching or visa versa
or we might just mix it up?"

"We would have to see where the mood would lead us. That is where the
excitement comes in. I know that is a little last minute but we can back
out now or this afternoon.

"It sounds to me as if the deal has been struck."

"Well, I did indicate that I was interested and would ask you. After last
night, I thought that you might just be interested. You were incredible."

My mind was racing. My little impromptu act indicated I was really a sex
fiend, who would like to go out and fuck with total strangers? Well my mind
reflected, strangers to me, perhaps not to Peter. This had been set up
before last night; last night was just a justification. I asked for a few
minutes to collect my thoughts. His look was one of relief; I hadn't said
no immediately so I was considering his suggestion.

My 'partner' wanted to go. If I didn't, would he go by himself, tonight or
some other time and I would be left in the dark? Would it be better to see
what was happening and have some say in it? Could I control a situation
like that? We had never pledged monogamy. Was I just being a puritan, an
unadventurous drag? Was I afraid of him meeting others? He could do that by
himself; I recognized that. Maybe it would be interesting? I had never done
anything quite like this. I made a snap decision.

"Peter, do you really want to do this?"

"Honestly, yes."

"Why?"

"As I said, it could add a little extra excitement to our relationship. It
would be an experience that has just fallen in our laps."

I told him I would go but that I had reservations about sex with other
couples. He assured me that we wouldn't do anything that I didn't want. I
felt slightly mollified. He sounded quite upbeat, perhaps quite excited
when he phoned Matthew.

We arrived at Matthew and Andrew's place at 7 for supper and drinks. I
noticed that as we came in that Matthew and Peter greeted each other very
warmly. Andrew and I were more reserved but Andrew greeted me more warmly
than Matthew did.  I internally shrugged my shoulders. They provided a good
hearty supper with lots of wine, interesting conversation and then drinks
after. Andrew and I had talked quietly about some movies that we had seen
and enjoyed and about our jobs.

After supper, Peter and Matthew were more vocal and obviously had a little
more to drink. After a bit of conversation, Matthew put on some music and
suggested that we dance. He also suggested that we change partners for the
dance. He put on some fairly fast music first and I danced with Andrew and
did have some fun. Andrew was a good dancer and we had some good moves.

After a few dances, Andrew said that he was thirsty and suggested we go to
the kitchen to get a drink. We got some and stayed talking about work and
other things. He was an interesting guy but more reserved than his partner,
Matthew. I eventually noticed that the music had turned slower, more moody
and romantic. I looked at Andrew and commented on the music He told me that
Matthew had been quite excited about tonight and led him to believe that we
were interested in switching partners for the night. He said that he was
not sure that he wanted that but if I did, he would go along with it. I was
surprised that Matthew had been so outright. Peter certainly hadn't been. I
told him that I had not been keen as this was not my style. He nodded his
understanding.

We went back into the living room. I knew Peter well. He and Matthew were
dancing very close. I noticed that each were caressing the others butt. I
could see that his eyes were becoming brighter and brighter. That was the
way he looked when he was becoming sexually charged. In fact, I realized
that I hadn't seen him this engaged in a long time. I was a little put out;
I was doing my understatement thing. I wondered how far it would go. Then I
told myself that I knew exactly where it was headed. When Peter finally
focused on me, his eyes were bright but almost glazed over in lust. I
looked at him and signalled that I wanted to talk to him in the kitchen. He
whispered something in Matthew's ear. When they disengaged I could see that
Matthew was almost fully hard. Christ he was big. He gave me a frosty look.

In the kitchen. Peter's first words were that I sure knew how to break a
mood.

"Oh, so this is the mood that we were talking about this morning. I not
sure that I am not in the same mood. I am very uncomfortable about this."

"Paul, dance with Andrew and get in the mood. He is a good looking, bright
guy."

"He's not the guy I live with, have a relationship with and share my life
with."

"No but relationships don't have to be entirely exclusive." He sounded as
if he shouldn't have to explain this to anyone with any intelligence. "I
didn't do this behind your back. I can still make my own decisions about
what I want."

Wow it clicked in. It had been planned like this. He wanted this evening to
end with him and Matthew together but invited me along so that he was not
cheating if Andrew and I got together. Have his cake and eat it too. What
do you do at this point?  Andrew had actually looked embarrassed as we left
the room.

"Peter, I am not on board with this. I cannot force you to stop but I don't
want any part of it. It is your decision to make."

He gave me a look with narrowed eyes, almost disgust and walked out of the
room. I followed slowly. What do you do in such a situation? I had had to
make a quick decision from my gut. I hadn't left any room for
negotiation. One of us had to back down. I was increasing angry, hurt and
feeling stupid. I should have known that I couldn't control a situation
like this.

Matthew and Andrew were having an animated conversation. Matthew was
obviously angry and upset with his partner. The minute Matthew saw Peter
his expression softened and he smiled a small, seductive smile.

"Everything sorted?" He said it as if Peter had had to deal with a
recalcitrant child. He shrugged Andrew off, put on some music a little
louder and started to dance with Peter. Andrew looked at me almost
crestfallen and motioned to the kitchen.

"I am so sorry, Paul. I had a feeling that this was going to happen. I was
hoping that maybe we could work this out but I think that we both feel the
same. This is bloody awkward." We talked for a few minutes. When we came
out into the living room, the guys were not there. I turned down the
music. I could hear movement down the hall so I went down the hall towards
the master suite. I wanted some last words with Peter. I looked in. They
were turned sideways to the door and could not see me. Peter's shirt was
unbuttoned and Matthew was running his hands over his chest. Peter had his
hand messaging Matthew's cock through his pants. They were kissing very
enthusiastically.

Finally, I heard Peter mutter, "Matt, you know what I like and where I want
that big cock tonight, like last time."

"What about Paul?"

"He and Andrew will figure out something to do in the other bedroom. If
not, their loss."

I turned and walked slowly back to the living room. "Andrew, this says
nothing about you but I want to go home."

"I know. I should have said something but when Matthew wants something he
is like a force of nature. I asked him not to embarrass us tonight. He said
that we were all consenting adults."

So it was planned. "I feel really badly. Would you drive me home and we can
talk a bit?"

"Yeah, I would like to get out of here too."

We talked in the car and he came in for a drink. He was a really
articulate, interesting guy. Very grounded and positive. He too had had to
make a decision about tonight and had received almost the same assurances
from Matthew as I had received from Peter. Obviously, their mood had left
them not willing to honour their promises to us. We both laughed that
neither of us were in the mood that would lead anywhere tonight and so
after an hour of chat that, at another time, would have been stimulating,
he left.

I made up the bed in the den and decided that that was where I would sleep
tonight. I had had enough of Peter for one day. When I finally slept, I
slept well. I looked into our bedroom as I went to the kitchen the next
morning. No Peter and the bed had not been slept in. He was not in the
apartment. I decided to phone Andrew. He had given me their home number and
his cell number. I got him on first ring on his cell. He was up. Peter and
Matthew had not shown their faces yet. In fact, he muttered something about
a lot of noise from the bedroom.

An inspiration hit me. "Andrew, want to meet me for breakfast?" He seemed
pleased to be asked and anxious to get out of the condo. I couldn't blame
him. I had decided that I didn't want to deal with Peter today. I needed
time to think and plan. I packed an overnight bag and just left. No phone
call from Peter as to his overnight whereabouts, no note from me. He had
led me on. I knew that I was being vindictive and childish. I didn't
care. I was a few minutes early so I went to one of the suites hotels,
checked in and left my baggage. On the way out, I asked about weekly
rates. A plan of action was forming in my head.

Andrew and I were both surprised. We could actually laugh about last
night. Still for both of us, it was a bittersweet laugh. We went to other
topics the news, movies in town. We enjoyed our breakfast together. We
decided to go for a walk in the downtown market area. Being the mid spring
it was full of produce from the south and the beginnings of local spring
offerings. We decided to buy some cooked meats, a vegetable plate from a
deli, some wonderful artisan buns and a small amount of butter. I suggested
a bottle of wine which we picked up and headed for one of the large urban
parks. It would be a picnic and then and a movie in the afternoon. We ate a
delicious meal and revelled in the early spring sun. We went for a walk by
the water, just enjoying ourselves. I guess that we had both decided to
enjoy this strange day. The movie was great and we had a good discussion
about it at supper in a good local, Italian restaurant.

The meal was over and it was obvious that it was time to leave. Andrew
looked a little dismayed. "Strange, this has been a great day. I wish it
didn't have to end right now and I wish that I didn't have to go home
tonight. I just don't want to face him today. I feel so cheapened and let
down."  I found Andrew very attractive physically and intellectually. I
felt exactly the same as he did but luckily, I had taken action earlier in
the day. I decided on the direct approach.

"Andrew, I felt that way this morning and so I made a decision that I would
not face him today or tonight."

Andrew cocked his head in a question. "I have checked into the hotel down
the road for the night. I have turned off my telephone so that he cannot
contact me. There are two queen size beds in the room." I cocked my head at
him.

He gave me a very charming, mischievous smile. He looked so young and
appealing. "Paul, you know that a queen size bed is very comfortable for
two and that way no one would ever know that two people used the room."

"I'll take that as a yes. Let's see where the mood takes us." I gave him my
most charming, devilish smile with raised eyebrows. He grabbed my hand,
stroked it gently and gave me a very intense look. "Come on you devil. I am
booked in and my bag is there already. Let's get our cars and park at the
hotel. We can go directly to the room from the parking garage." We were
both smiling broadly. I put my arm over his shoulder for the short walk to
our cars.

We kibitzed a bit as went up on the elevator. I think that both of us were
a little nervous. This obviously was not our standard style but somehow it
just seem right for this night.

"Andrew, I think that you know that it wasn't you last night. I was just
very angry that I had been set up by someone that I trusted. Slowly, it
became clear that they had an agenda. To be very vulgar, to fuck each
other. You were embarrassed. Both our 'partners' showed no concern for our
feelings. The words, 'cheapened and let down' say it very well. They were
only thinking with their dicks. In the case of your partner with his rather
big dick."

The last comment seemed to really break the dam. We started to laugh. Still
laughing, Andrew said that it might be big but he really had no idea how to
use it effectively. We were still chuckling when we entered the room. It
felt good.

We were standing by the bed and I leaned towards Andrew and kissed him on
the lips. He kissed back and I felt his lips open and I could feel his
tongue gently touching my lips. It was so gentle and so erotic. I opened my
lips and our tongues touched. It was amazing how sensual just the light
touching of each tongue had been. We eventually broke the kiss and we both
had a knowing smile and an intense look in our eyes. I separated us and
scanned his body. He was already semi hard. So was I and I let him see
that.

He started to take his shirt off. I stopped him. "Let me do that. I like
undressing a good looking, intelligent man." He gave me a soft, welcoming
look.

Andrew was tall but he was not big. He had a slender build like a runner
but he was well proportioned and defined. His body didn't taper a lot but
he had a lovely firm looking butt. I put that aside until that was
exposed. I liked the dark short hair in the middle of his chest. Why did
guys shave it off? They were men. They had hair where women didn't. If a
man was hairless and smooth OK but a defined chest and hair said man and
that was what I wanted. I ran my hands through it and I got a little noise
from Andrew. I licked his nipples which were about the size of a quarter,
just right. That got a shiver. Good. Now I knew where to concentrate and I
did. Andrew was very quickly taking off my shirt and t shirt and set to
work on my chest and nipples and the gasp was not a complaint from me. I
showed my appreciation with a big, wet kiss.

Now for the unveiling as I often thought of it. I put my hands down and
traced the outline of Andrew's growing erection. Nothing to be ashamed of
there. I got a smile from Andrew as I fumbled with the zipper.

"Out of practice? Need some help?"

"I can manage smart ass. Actually I really want to see and feel that ass."
I managed to get the zipper down. There was already a wet spot on his
shorts. Now I was feeling greedy and wanted my prize, Andrew's butt,
now. Off came the shorts. This was a prize. Dark short, curly hair on the
legs with just a little fuzz on the butt. I fondled his butt; it was firm,
round and yet soft. His cock was hard and sticking up.

I held him out with my hands, gazing at him. "Nice." I kissed his chest and
turned him around and kissed his lovey butt in many places.

"No fair."

I dropped my hands and put Andrew's hands on my crotch. I murmured.,
"Getting uncomfortable." I was naked in a flash.

Still standing we caressed each others body and then sensuously stroked our
cocks. Both of us were in overload quickly. I eased him to the bed and we
were very quickly facing each others cocks. We sucked each others balls. We
stroked each other. I got the lube and there were fingers inside each of us
as we stroked. Almost by mutual agreement, we didn't suck each other and I
didn't want to enter or be entered. I wasn't sure why but I didn't want to
do everything tonight. We were still enfolded in a haze of feelings and
nerve endings. We both had red, straining cocks as we were so hard. I
noticed that his face was flushed. I was too close to cumming and when I
told him, we sat up and kissed each other.

As I calmed down, I looked at him. "Another round?" We started back with
mouths, fingers and hands. We were close again.

"Paul, take me over. It is exquisite." We both started to stroke each other
harder until I could see from the frenzied look on his face that he was
seconds from the end. He started first. I could almost hear the semen hit
my chest. I could certainly feel it. In his release, he had stopped
stroking me so I took over. Shortly I felt my semen expelled out onto his
chest. His chest was dripping when I was finished.

When we both came back to this world, I looked at him. "Ironic isn't
it. Couldn't last night and now this. Andrew that was amazing."

"I knew you had it in you." He chuckled. I gave him a fairly hard slap on
that beautiful ass. "Do that again and we may not get any sleep tonight." I
called his bluff and I did it again. "I didn't say when. Be prepared." We
were both smiling like young teenagers after their first sex.

He turned a bit more sober and philosophical. "This was what we chose to do
because of a wonderful time together; it was not an obligation set up by
our partners."

I gave him a smile as acknowledgement. He was a very wise man.

The next morning Andrew had wakened as I got up to go to the bathroom. When
he was finished there, he looked at me softly, "Paul, you know what I
threatened last night. I want to collect now. I know that we both have to
go to work but I want to thank you for last night, in a physical way. Last
night was very special. I won't take too long." He smiled again very warm
and softly. With that, he took the lead and very wonderfully took me to as
high a point as we had reached last night. I was almost overwhelmed by his
passion and gentleness.

I had brought a change of clothing and he had decided to go to work in
yesterday's fresh clothes. Neither of us wanted to face our partners this
morning. It would have to wait until tonight. I had decided that I needed
to talk to him about myself before he left.

"Andrew, the whole situation has happened very fast. It is hard to believe
the difference in my life between Saturday morning and today. My eyes have
been opened and I am seeing things very differently. I have a lot of
decisions to make and I suspect that my life is going to be in turmoil for
a while. I promise that one way or another I will be in touch in a couple
of weeks."

"As usual, thoughtful and considerate. I feel the same. I have no idea
where I am headed. I have friends and connections that will help if I need
it. I too need time to figure out my life. If you want to contact me, use
my cell number. I feel really guilty; I should have let you know that
yesterday was not the first time that I had met Peter. He was in and out of
the apartment Friday and Saturday, two weeks ago and it wasn't just a
friendly social call. I too need to take action. I guess I know what an
open relationship really means."

"I guess that he wasn't on the business trip that he told me that he was
on. Interesting. Thank you. I won't let him know that you told me. I am
smart enough to work it into a conversation in other ways."

"Sorry, I have been wrestling with whether to tell you or not but I really
thought that you should have all the information."

With that, we looked at the other and gave each other a gentle kiss on the
lips. I was stepping back into the real world. I had decided that my
decisions would be based on how Peter reacted tonight and I would refuse to
discuss anything until we were at the condo tonight. I knew that I could
fall back on the suites hotel for a while. Their weekly rate was not bad
and I had saved a lot of money splitting the rent with Peter and renting
out my condo with that money going into savings.


Author's Note

There is another chapter being written.  I hope to publish next Thursday or
Friday.

Let me know your thoughts on this chapter       preecherdave@gmail.com

If you liked this story, you might want to read the others that I have
published on Nifty. In particular, Unexpected Change which has had the most
positive comments and one of my favourites, Getting My Act Together.

Unexpected Change, Nifty, College, April 16, 2011
Friendship, Nifty, Adult Friends, May 20, 2011
Surprising Last Year at University, Nifty, College, June 9, 2011
Murder Changed My Life, Nifty, Beginnings, July 8, 2011
What is Love?, Nifty, Beginnings, August 31, 2011
Getting My Act Together, Nifty, Adult-Friends, November 10, 2011
Surprised, Nifty, Adult-Friends, January 14, 2012
Surprised Eric and Dave, Beginnings, February 10, 2012
Surprised Graham and Robert, Nifty, Adult-Friends, March 22, 2012
What a Difference a Year Makes, Nifty, Adult-Friends, September 13, 2012
Discoveries, Nifty, Beginnings, November 1, 2012
Introspection, Nifty, April, 2013