Date: Sun, 03 Jun 2007 07:01:34 EDT From: jamal haughton Subject: Jay Kasey and I hit it off great. He called me every day, he would drop past my house just to make sure that everything was ok. He was just your all around wonderful hard to find man. I loved him for that. We never argued because we never did stupid thing to make one another mad. One night Kasey decided to take me out to the club. (Although it is that really strict thing about bringing your boyfriend to clubs because something all ways happens read and learn people it get's so shady.) The club was packed but Kasey knew the bouncer so we got a chance to get admitted first. When we went in we could barely move. All i could do is say excuse me i'm sorry. The next thing I knew was that i was pushed. "whatch where you are walking, you fucking queen." The voice was so familiar, i knew it, but could not match it up. I looked at the guys shoes and then i realized who the person was. It was Shane. When i got up to apologize about it, Shane looked me in my eyes then he ran to the exit door. Then i hear Paul screams Shane's name. "What did you do, Jay?" "I didn't do anything. he pushed me." "oh i'm sorry to hear that, now get out of my way." "You know what, Kasey, I just lost my mood can we go i really don't wanna be here anymore." "Jay you shouldn't let guys like them spoil your night, but if you want to go we can. But i do have one question how do you know those assholes." "yeah you know what um... I know you wanted to come out tonight so i am going to suck it up." "Jay you never answered my..." Just then Paul came back into the club. Will you just look at this shit. He had so much rage in his eyes. He walked over to me with a quick pace almost like he was about to hit me because of Shane running out. But Kasey got in fornt of me. "once again you have managed to fuck up my life Jay, thanks." said Paul "what the fuck are you talking about Paul , I don't have anything to do or say to you so can you please explian to me why you are even near me." "you know what because of you Shane is pissed off why can't you just stay home. Oh but then again you are still browseing aren't you" "no Paul i'm not browseing for anyone. I have a great man. It's you that seems to be uncomfortable. I would die for him he means that much to me." "you know thats funny Jay you never said that when we were together. And i was your first love." "well then i guess you didn't deserve to hear it" Paul got really pissed and tossed a chair at Kasey. The whole club stopped the bouncers came over "so this is the peace of shit you say that you love more then me. Uhn Jay is he. Fuck him because if you don't i will the same way i got Shane from your grip it's not that hard buddy." At that point i notice that everything in the club just stopped all the men were looking at us the music stop and then Paul went into a vent mood he told everything that was on his mind "you know what Jay... Everytime i look at you i notice that you get more bueatiful in some odd way not sure that i understand why i am so attracted to You. But i am, Jay i'm not only attracted to you i am in love with you don't you get it. No one on this world can compare to you. I walk down the street i think of you. I love you don't you get it. Sure yeah we have had problems before and i am so sorry about it. It is impossiable for me to not go a day with out looking at your photograph. Jay please come back to me. Kasey can't be that good of a man. You love me you have loved me for four years now i know you do. I know you do" All i could do was tell him the truth. I wanted him back so badly. But i learned a few things if you don't put your foot down, then you will always be walked over. I was falling for Kasey hard and i am not going to let this man slip away. I need to tell Paul that we could be friends. And that's all. But would i be able to look him in his eyes and tell him that with out breaking. Well Jay suck it up, it's now or never. "Paul that's all nice that you feel that way, but i am in love now. In love with Kasey. i'm sorry that we can't be together, but Kasey is the one for me." "four years vs what two weeks. I have to mean more than that to you Jay. don't i. "Paul although i loved you i can only see you as a friend. I'm really happy with Kasey..." "Jay" said Paul "Kasey is an amazing person..." "Jay" said Paul "What, Paul? what is it now?" "Jay, marry me." said Paul. "What?" i said in disbelief "Jay if the only way that i can provide to you that i love you and i really want to be with you is by marriage than marry me. The only reason i threw that chair is because i refuse to see you with another man." "well Paul you are just going to have to deal with me and Kasey because i love him. And if i do decide to marry someone , it would be him." "hey Jay i'm leaving i can't stand here anymore and watch you and him go back and forth at it. And i will be damn to stick around for you to say you love him back, and don't even say that you don't i can see it in your eyes, i can hear it in your voice, and i can't be here for you to tell him, listen if you love him take him back..." "but i don't love him Kasey. i don't, you are the only man. I look at you and think about you daily" "if you love him take him back, listen ok Paul he is a wonderful guy don't fuck it up because if he does take you back and you lose him, i promise you, you won't get him back." "Kasey, i'm not going to take him back you are the only one i want. You don't you understand that." "yeah but i don't want to have to fight for your love. i really don't wanna have to. Paul is still in love with you you loved him for four years. And tonight is the first night that you are telling me this. Paul is right what happens when 8 weeks takes over 4 years. I can tell ya it means i'm left out. I refuse to be the one left out no doubt i can love you even more but i'm scared tha you won't do the same and i need for you to do the same." "i can Kasey i know i can you just need to give me the chance." "i don't know about that." Kasey walked out of the club i looked around. Everyone was looking at me and i felt like i was on a PG 13 version of jerry springer. With the chairs being thrown. I felt so embarrassed. So i just walked out Paul following me. When i went outside i saw Shane hand Kasey a large stack of money. I turned around and looked at Paul. "you fucking paid for this shit to happen to me.". "no Jay i swear i knew nothing about him being paid to break up with you. i don't know whats going on." said paul. "Shane what the fuck are you doing." "Making him pay for what he did to you, you loved him and he told you no." "Shane you paid him to breakup with me." "see Jay your little amigo here is in some serious finacial troubles with the big bad drug boss intown. Oh he loved you no doubt but he can't love ya if he is dead. Now can he." I tried to go over there and just knock his pretty little ass out. But Paul grabbed me. "Jay it's not worth it. He is going to get his don't you worry about that." Paul walked over to Shane. "you know that is really fucked up what you did to Jay he didn't deserve that Shane. Yeah he hurt me but he was in love with Kasey and if you think for one second that it is acceptable to ruin peoples lives than you surely got the game fucked up. Do you understand me. Stay away from Jay, you too Kasey. Even if he doesn't take me back, i can live with the fact that he is still my friend." "no Paul let me get someting in your head. first of all don't you know who i am, i am Shane McFadden bitch don't you ever come at me like that. I can have any man i want on this planet i had you i had Jay, and oh shit would you look at that. I even have Kasey now don't I. Haha tic tac to to homo exs in a row. And you think you can hold off as Jay just being you friend then you are all wrong. Get it through your head Paul you can never get him back." Paul cocked back and hit Shane right in his noise Shane fell to the ground. Kasey stepped over him and walked up to me. "Jay wait before you leave i want to say that i am really sorry for what happened tonight. I do love you, you were my first boyfriend. As a matter a fact you were my first in everything. i'm sorry this had to happen but i know you can find love again. But if i didn't end it with you i would be dead tonight." "Kasey i understand, don't worry about it. Yeah i still love you..." "so does that mean we can get back together." "whoa slow your role tiger i forgave you us getting back together is some thing totally diffrent. But i gotta go now i have some work i need to do early tommorow." "listen Jay i am happy either way. I much rather have you in my life as a friend than to not have you in my life at all, but if you do happen to find it in your heart to be with me again my arms are always open." "i'll let you know." Paul drove me to my house we sat outside. He looked at me and then he just started to cry. "Paul what's wrong." "you know Jay i love you so much and it was some really painful things you said tonight. You told Kasey that you would die for him because you loved him so much. But i didn't deserve to hear that. Do you have any idea what that felt like." "listen Paul i'm sorry it just that i wanted you to leave i didn't want anything to start up i was scared." "Jay it is hard for me, the more i say that i am sorry and the more i say that i love you the fact that i can't have you means nothing i don't wanna live if i can't have you. Jay... Can we betogether." "not right now Paul maybe later on after college but i don't want to go through with all of the thing i have already been through. So maybe never." Paul pulled out a revolver and pulled the trigger. He shot him self in the stomach. Blood shot all over me i went into shock. He was bleeding like crazy, but i couldn't move. Then my phone rang. I came out of shock. I got out of the car and put him in the passanger seat. I hit the gas getting to an hospital i ran 7 red light i did 90 in a residental all i could think of is that if i lose him i am losing a part of me. When i got there the police was behind me. I picked him up not paying attention to the police, i brought him in the emergancy room they took him off my shoulder and took him striaght to surgery. I walked out side with my hands up the cop came over and cuffed me. "do you have any idea how much trouble you are in. "i don't really care i saved someones life tonight and so what if i broke rules by doing it." Then the doctor came out side it was David, Kasey's uncle. He ran to the cops as they put me in the back seat of the car. "what kinda trouble is he in" "well lets see he broke just about every driving rule on the streets. Then made up some lie about trying to save a life." said the officer. "wait just one minute he did. he brought the patient in i can show you him right now. This young man is a hero not a criminal." He walked into the hospital and saw Paul. He looked back out at the car. He walked over and opened the door. "you are lucky tonight if your friend mr. Doctor here didn't say anything bubba and his friends would be taxing that pretty little mouth of yours." "thanks alot" "i just happen to have alot of respect for a man that fights for the life of a friend. No matter how much trouble it would put them in, but next time it's lock down you understand." "yeah gotcha" i said. David walked over towards me, i knew he had questions but i didn't know what about oh my god i was getting scared. He looked really angry. "you little...." Well thats's all for now catch up let me know what you think. Thanks hugs and loves.