Date: Sun, 11 Jul 2004 17:10:51 -0700 (PDT)
From: kelly johnson <kellyboygirl@yahoo.com>
Subject: Kelly's Journey

My name is Kelly, and as long as I can remember I was "not like the other
boys".  I have always been a little shorter than average with a lean
physique and delicate features.  As a youngster I would sometimes be teased
by playmates as being a sissy.  I also have never cared for rough
activities...at least outside of the bedroom!  Instead of my youth being
traumatic, however, my single-parent mother never tried to make me to
conform to something I wasn't and she directed me to activities that
favored my positive attributes.  She was and is my biggest booster no
matter what was going on in my life.

I never had met my father and my mother was not particularly revealing
about the nomadic free-spirit lifestyle she led at the time I was conceived
out of wedlock.  However, she has always been a great provider and has
found professional success as a commercial artist.  We have moved around
every few years to take advantage of job opportunities and because of this
we became very close as we helped each survive the relocations.  When I
would move to a new school, I was pretty shy about making new friends and
usually became closer to smaller groups of kids outside the school, from
the various activities I participated in.

I was very coordinated and agile, but when I tried to play most sports I
was not aggressive enough about "winning" and I didn't care for the
roughness.  My mother therefore got me into swimming, ice skating
(initially racing and then figure skating) and gymnastics as sports, while
at the same time encouraging me into music and art activities.  Physically,
I was best at ice skating (particularly figure skating) which eventually
led to dancing, which then led to drama.  I was naturally good at all of
these and I happily worked hard to improve and usually was around people
who did not look down upon me for not playing football, basketball or
baseball.

At the suggestion of a photographer, mother got me involved in modeling
which required an amount of training at a modeling school and we even had
an agent to get bookings.  I liked the idea of being paid (even though the
money wasn't mine until I was 18), and all of these "public" activities
served to increase my confidence greatly.  Eventually, I focused on ballet,
modern dance and drama and there were also numerous opportunities to model
clothes for local retailer chains, both in style shows, TV spots and in
print.  While I was a good student without a lot of effort, I greatly
preferred staying busy with these other activities.

Growing up, even though I had a lot of activity as a child-model, I was
anything but confident about my appearance or about social situations, in
general.  Although relatively small, I was blessed with smooth olive skin,
rich and silky dark brown hair and facial features that seemed to be
considered cute or even pretty depending on one's point of view.  My mother
still had much of her artsy free spirit in her and had me wear my hair
fairly long from a very early age.  She was also a bit caught up in her
"child model" so she made a point of always tended to dress me in stylish
clothes as a child.

Even though people sometimes initially confused me as being a girl, the
confused person usually had noticed me because of my striking appearance,
so I grew to like the attention.  I would sometimes pretend to be bored
with modeling, but I actually loved being the center of attention when the
creative people were making a fuss over my clothes and hair.  Thus, as I
got older I wore my hair conspicuously longer than average by choice, and I
was tended to meticulous in my dress in all activities.

The other kids in these activities were a mixed group overall, although the
girls always outnumbered the boys at least 2 to 1.  After I turned 10, the
ratio was more like 4 to 1, so what "best friends" I had were often girls.
As adolescence arrived, the girls involved in dance and drama were often
talking about boys (both the ones they knew as well as from teen
magazines).  At the same age, some of the boys began acting very "macho"
while others retreated into their shell.  Often I was with groups of girls
and they would start talking about boys.  They seemed to think me as "one
of their own" and would use me as a sounding board.  The closest I had been
to intimacy with a girl to that point was playing spin-the-bottle and
having awkward and dispassionate kisses with girls that did not excite me
in the least.  I felt awkward in these discussions but I was glad they
included me.

As my hormones were making changes inside of me I became very confused.
Unlike the macho boys, I could not even pretend to talk about girls as sex
objects.  In fact, when listening to the girls talk about boys, I found
myself getting jealous, because I found myself desiring the attention they
were receiving from the good looking boys.  I kept my thoughts to myself,
though I often found myself daydreaming about a certain handsome boy skater
(distance racer) who was about two years older than me.  We were usually at
the rink practicing at the same time, yet I was so shy around him that he
initially probably thought I did not like him.

Over time however, he and I became friendly towards each other but I was
too shy too take any overt action.  I would make a point of trying to be
near him, whether in team meetings or in the locker room, and he always
smiled when he looked at me.  Finally, at one practice he had pulled a
muscle in his back and was having trouble leaning down to pull off his
skates.  He asked me to help him since I was sitting nearby and we were the
last two skaters in the locker room.  While he stood there with each foot
alternately lifted so I could remove the skates, he rested his hand on my
shoulder to maintain balance.

With both skates removed, he straightened up but did not remove his hand
from my shoulder.  We were suddenly facing each other just inches apart and
he placed his other hand on my other shoulder.  I was suddenly quite
nervous, but he looked down at me with a warm smile and our eyes were
locked and I was mesmerized.  He then leaned closer and gave me a soft kiss
on the mouth that I awkwardly responded to.  We repeated the kiss more
gracefully and he pulled me closer and began to kiss with open mouths.

We hugged and kissed for several seconds before we heard someone coming in
so we stopped abruptly. I was enchanted by the kiss but unfortunately we
never found ourselves alone to repeat it, and we never talked about it
before he left the skating group.  I never knew whether he was gay or if it
was just a freak occurrence.  As a 14 year-old, part of me felt guilty
about kissing another boy, but it had excited me like nothing I had never
experienced.

These feelings only magnified, and as I became more aware what the term
meant, I realized that I must be gay.  At first this terrified me, but I
felt helpless to tell anyone.  It was scary because I intuitively knew that
it wasn't something that was going to go away.  Then I became aware of
adult gay people, many of which were involved in my activities and at least
I came to realize I was not the only one!  Like all boys, I had discovered
masturbation and this only confirmed my feelings as I would often fantasize
about handsome boys.

Thanks to discreet lessons from the internet, books, movies and magazines,
I came to learn the physical details about what gay sex really meant.
Initially, the details of any kind of sex (girl or a guy) were difficult to
imagine.  With time and hormonal activity, however, I became increasingly
horny and greatly looked forward to initiating my sex life...my gay sex
life.  My fantasies became more vivid in terms of actual sexual acts and I
became quite comfortable and turned-on by how gay people had sex with each
other.

When I was fifteen, I was very active in an invitation-only 8 person modern
dance troupe having four boys and four girls. I was a newcomer as the
others had been together several years.  Two of the other boys were a year
older and quite masculine, whereas the other was named Jeremy and was
physically more like me.  The two "masculine" boys were best friends and
also paired up with other girl dancers as very conspicuous hetero couples.
They seemed to always do everything together as a group of four.  We all
got along but went to different schools and initially I was not close
friends with the other boys.  All the girls were all both athletic and very
pretty and they were all quite nice to me.  In fact, Mary (who was my dance
partner) became my best friend for that period.

Our troupe spent many hours in rehearsals together.  I began to sense that
Mary was exploring if I wanted to be her boyfriend.  She never put any
pressure on me but the opportunity was clearly there, even though I went to
great pains not to lead her on.  One time we did share an awkward kiss that
she initiated when we were alone and in close proximity in a dance routine.
I challenged myself to examine whether I had been hasty to consider myself
gay, given the obvious opportunity with Mary.  Unfortunately, the feeling I
had when we kissed was nothing like what I had felt with the skater.

The troupe did shows regionally and on one such out of town engagement we
stayed overnight in a hotel with all the boys in one room with two queen
beds and the girls in a similar arrangement.  After our initial successful
show, we all were in a festive mood after a late supper and were
disappointed when our staff chaperone insisted we adhere to our midnight
curfew.  Jeremy and I got to the room first and were sharing one bed.
After goodnights to their girlfriends the other two boys came in.

Nearly ignoring Jeremy and me, they both quickly stripped and looking
annoyingly at us and pulled the bedspread, pillows and covers off the bed
to the floor on the opposite side as us. I tried to stare at the ceiling
inconspicuously, but soon it became apparent that they were kissing and
giggling on the floor.  Then I heard breathless whispers of "suck it!",
"yes!", "it feels so good!" etc.  I could hear the slurping sounds of what
had to be oral sex which was starting to give me an erection that pressed
against my bikini briefs that I was sleeping in.

Finally, the noise was so blatant that I silently nudged Jeremy and gave
him an inquisitive look about what was transpiring.  He quietly got up and
motioned for me to follow him to the bathroom.  He shut the door and turned
on the faucet so our whispered voices wouldn't carry.  Jeremy said that the
boys were lovers and had been for as long as he had been in the dance
group.  Both of their parents were going to make them quit dancing because
they were afraid of them "becoming" gay.  They figured out that by
appearing to have girlfriends in the group, their parents would back off
and they did.  The girls play along so they won't lose their dance
partners, plus they think the charade is fun.  After a pause, Jeremy looked
down at my erection pressing against my underwear and said, "I have the
same reaction when I hear them, it gets me horny and need to jack-off!"

Jeremy returned to the bed and openly pulled down his boxers and began to
stroke his growing erection.  I followed suit, trying to keep my eyes
pointed straight upward.  Finally, he leaned down and grasped my penis and
whispered, "Here let me help you" By me not reacting negatively, Jeremy
took his cue and positioned himself to where he was able to stroke me and
massage my balls at the same time with his other hand.

It felt so great to have someone else's hands on me and I was getting very
excited from both his touch and the sex that I could hear going on.  Jeremy
stopped momentarily and pulled my underwear all the way off.  In the pause,
I could now hear the activity that had to be anal sex, with soft groans
coming from whichever one was on the receiving end.  Jeremy returned to
stroking me, but then leaned down and replaced his hand with his mouth and
gave me the incredible rush that any first blow-job delivers!  He expertly
used his mouth, tongue and fingers to produce the most intense orgasm I had
experienced to- date (previously only by masturbating) and he swallowed
every drop in the process.

I should have figured Jeremy was gay, but he was so shy there was no way to
know and I was too shy to ask.  He actually was good-looking in his own way
but I really wasn't overly attracted to him as he (like me) wasn't really
masculine in appearance.  I definitely loved the way he made me feel
however!  After he finished he returned his head to my pillow and began
stroking himself again.  He said, "Don't worry, you don't have to
reciprocate.  I understand if it is not your thing."  I silently laughed,
since not only was it my thing, I had been fantasizing about having sex
with another boy for months!  I thought about the situation and knew that
there would never be a better time for a first time.

I surprised Jeremy when I turned to him and gently touched his beautiful,
erect shaft.  I whispered, "I have never done this, be patient with me."
He implored, "You don't have to do anything.  It's okay."  I touched my
index finger to his lips to silence him and awkwardly tried to emulate his
moves on me.  My skill improved as I went along and it excited me that I
was actually performing oral sex on a guy, as I had fantasized about so
often.  I felt him quiver as he was about to come and I became more
aggressive.  I gagged a little when I tried to swallow all his sperm, but
it gave me a rush to think that I was able to make another boy have such a
big orgasm.  I even decided I liked the salty taste!

After lying back to rest, the other two boys were taking a break and I
could hear them giggling at us.  This caused Jeremy and me to start
giggling too.  The four of us didn't need to say anymore about our
respective frolicking, so we did not!  All of us boy dancers became better
friends as the summer progressed as a result of our shared-secret
activities on several more overnight trips.  I came to realize that the
other two boys were not just having sex with each other, but that they were
truly in love.  I was jealous of the relationship they had, but really only
felt of Jeremy as a special friend.

I think Jeremy would have liked a more relationship with me, but besides
foreplay kissing and hugging, our activities were limited to getting each
other off and practicing oral sex technique for future use.  He seemed to
understand, and besides we were two horny teenagers who were regularly
getting blow-jobs...not the worst thing in the world!  My experience with
Jeremy definitely made me confident in my ability to please a guy.

As usual, just as I was getting acclimated with a new group of friends, my
mother took a job in a new city and we were going to move right before
school was supposed to start.  Before I left Mary called me on a Sunday
afternoon and asked if I could come over to her house to do extra
rehearsals on a duet dance piece that would be part of my last performance
with the group.  My mother drove me over and dropped me off.

Mary was alone at the house and we went to her large den and rehearse the
dance parts for a while.  At a resting point she asked me to follow her
upstairs to her room so she could "show me something".  I sat waiting on
her bed as she went into the attached bath briefly.  I was shocked when she
emerged completely naked and her hair brush down from the usual bun she
wore when she danced.  I nervously began to object, but she forcefully
said, "You are about to leave and I may never see you again.  I have to
know...so do you."

By any objective measure, Mary was a quite beautiful 15 year old girl with
small but perky breasts, great legs and an extraordinarily taut, athletic
body.  This should have been a dream situation for any boy, but for me it
was terrifying.  By force of will she did get my clothes off and she pushed
me back on to the bed and lay down on top of me.  We kissed with as much
passion as I could muster and then she slid down my body and began using
her fingers to stroke me and tickle my balls.  Unlike the immediate
reaction I would have had with Jeremy, I was only semi-hard.  This did not
deter Mary and she quickly began using her tongue to stimulate me.

Her oral sex technique was enthusiastic but not nearly as expert as Jeremy
who had the "home-court" advantage of knowing what turned a guy on.  I did
become fairly hard, but it took me fantasizing about Josh to get there.
Finally, in "self-defense", I gently pushed her off of me and began gently
using my fingers to massage her breasts and tickle her pussy.  I pretty
much was visualizing what I had seen in movies and magazines versus having
any natural skill.  It wasn't like it disgusted me or anything to be with
her, but it just did nothing in the way of sexual stimulation.

I tried my best, however, and I actually made Mary have an orgasm by
discovering where her clitoris was and gently tickling it rapidly.  She
became quite moist and I also massaged her vagina cavity with two fingers.
Eventually she turned me onto my back and again used her mouth and hands to
get me as hard as she (and my imagination) could.

Mary then straddled me and used her hand to guide my penis into her vagina.
The initial sensation felt unique but the whole experience did not seem
natural to me.  She began thrusting up and down on me and I tried to meet
her rhythm with upward thrusts of my own.  Unfortunately I began to lose my
erection and Mary pulled off to quickly stroke me to an erection, before
trying again.

This went on for some time until I used my imagination to visualize that I
was the one being fucked and that the boy skater was inside of me.  This
fantasy got me quite hard and Mary became close to another climax and I
released one of my own just ahead of her.  It felt great physically, and
after we stopped, Mary pulled herself off of me and snuggled back up
against me and kissed me on the cheek.  Unfortunately, without my fantasies
to keep me stimulated I felt more awkward than ever.

Mary sensed my uneasiness, but instead of being upset was sweeter than
ever.  She said, "If you ever feel differently, I will be here for you.  I
just wanted you to know what it felt like to be with a girl that would love
to be loved by you."  I felt sad because I did care for Mary.  I could only
say, "I am sorry I can't be what you want me to."  She kissed me on the
cheek and said, "Come on!  We need to clean up before my parents get home."
For the rest of time before I moved, Mary was nicer than ever to me and
never mentioned what we had done.  She gave me a big hug the last time we
said goodbye and we promised to keep up with each other by email and phone.

Jeremy had become very comfortable that our relationship was strictly about
sex, and he was going through a sexual awakening of his own.  He confided
that he had become more confident and aggressive and had had several recent
encounters with other guys at his school.  He said that he enjoyed sex so
much he did not want to be limited to one person, anyway.  Jeremy also gave
me a hug and then a kiss right on the lips in front of everyone when we
said goodbye!  Jeremy and Mary, in hindsight, were both good friends and
both were instrumental in me realizing and accepting that I was 100% gay.

It was now time to begin the move to Houston, which would be much larger
and more diverse than anyplace else I had lived.  Mother had bought a large
townhouse relatively close to the museum district and made arrangements for
me to attend a large but well- regarded public high school.  The moving van
had already left with our stuff so we began the day long drive to arrive at
our new home.

Mother and I had always been pretty good friends and confidants, but I had
not been forthcoming about my awakening sexuality, and she had not been
nosy.  However, on the trip down she decided to force the dialogue and
asked, "Isn't it about time we had a talk, as in the sex talk?"  I knew
intuitively where she was going, but acted ignorant and replied, "What do
you mean?  If you are talking about the birds and the bees I think I have
that part down."

She then went straight to the point, saying, "You are at the age now where
your hormones are at work and you are sexually attracted to other people.
I know it is happening to you, and I want you to know that it doesn't
matter to me who you are attracted to.  I will still love and support you
no matter what.  I just want you to be happy."  My response was only a
small nod, so she continued, "Please level with me.  I know you and your
dance partner Mary seemed close, but was it like she was your girlfriend?
I have always thought you might be attracted to other boys?  There is
nothing wrong with that if true."

I grimaced and said, "You are right about me going through confusion.  The
truth is I am gay and despite Mary's best efforts to convince me otherwise,
I know I am gay."  She responded, "You just are what you are and I would
not change a thing about you.  Is there anything I can do to help you sort
this out?"  I then told mother about how I hated the idea of living a lie
like the other two boy dancers and having to pretend I was something I was
not.  She nodded and told me that I had a great opportunity to have new
start in Houston and present myself however I wanted.  She told me to think
about how I wanted to do that before school and new activities started.
She said, "There are risks with being open and sometimes you may need to be
discreet, but follow your heart and be yourself!"

I had a several weeks before school started to get acclimated to the city.
Our new townhouse was in a great location, being right among various
museums, with a large public park within easy walking or cycling distance.
In the other direction, only a few miles away, was Montrose, the gay
neighborhood for Houston.  Either on my bike or with a short bus ride I
explored the various stores, shops and restaurants in the Montrose area.
Many of the people were openly gay and most of the others were eccentric
and/or artsy.  It felt very liberating to be in such an environment.

While looking at a local gay neighborhood magazine that was in a rack at a
restaurant, I saw an ad for a hair and make-up salon.  There were two men
in the ad with friendly smiles, who obviously were the proprietors.  I
decided I needed to get a haircut anyway since my hair was now to my
shoulders and it really had no particular style.  Not thinking about the
need of getting an appointment, I walked in to the shop where one of the
owners was cutting a woman's hair, while the other was giving a different
woman a facial of some kind.  Both owners looked up and said hello, but
when I saw the women, I apologized for interrupting them, saying that I did
not realize it was a shop for women.

Everybody then laughed and the hair stylist said, "We do women, men, and
everything in between!  Hi my name is Mark, why don't you wait.  I should
be done in a few minutes."  The lady getting her hair styled then said,
"Trust me, Mark is worth the wait!"  The man giving the facial introduced
himself as Jeff and suggested I look at a three-ring binder that had a
variety of hair styles for both men and women.  When I reviewed the binder,
I knew that I was in the right place!  Some of the pictures were stock
photos from hairstyling journals, but many more were of their clients.
There were so many unique haircuts that they were impossible to summarize.
Notably, there were a number of men with stylishly long hair in the book.

Both ladies were finished with the treatment at about the same time and the
friendly woman who had gotten her hair cut went over and looked down at me
before jokingly telling Mark and Jeff that my services should be on the
house, just so they could add my picture to the book.  Now just the three
of us, we visited about what I wanted in a new hair style, which was
difficult because I really did not know.  After looking at me for a while,
Jeff stood up and began making suggestions to Mark.  Between the two of
them, they also asked enough about the background to have a pretty accurate
idea of who I was.

I agreed to what they suggested which was to shorten it overall, into what
they called a "medium bob".  Without even asking, Jeff began to give me a
manicure while Mark worked on my hair.  We continued talking and they were
extremely nice and seemed to be very anxious to give advice and help this
gay teenager who had just moved into town.  I learned that they had been
partners (at home and at the salon) for 12 years.

After Mark finished, my hair looked very, very styled.  I was momentarily
taken aback by the dramatic change but then began to get excited with the
possibilities.  This style resulted in the hair to be at essentially the
same length, whether in back or on the sides.  It still fell just past my
collar in back, but stacked to a uniform blocked length that was slightly
turned under with the blow-dryer and brush.  The sides were well-below my
ears and framed my face in front below my jaw-line.  Mark demonstrated that
he had left bangs if I wanted them, or they could be combed to either side.
With the bangs combed straight down, it made me look a bit like Prince
Valiant, so I left them combed to the sides!  He also showed me that by
just combing my hair behind the ears, that I could look fairly
conservative.  Finally, it was still long enough to pull into a small
ponytail.  I could tell that my hair would be a lot easier to maintain at
the shorter length and with the versatile style Mark had created.

I complimented Mark, but nervously asked him if he would undo the ponytail
that he had just created and brush it down like it was after he had
immediately finished.  With a knowing smile, Mark said, "Good call!"  Mark
took his time a meticulously brushed my hair.  As I watched him in the
mirror, I was excited because I loved the sexy haircut!  It certainly was
not something many guys would seek out (gay or straight) but I thought it
looked great on me.  If I had not been in a new town where I did not know
anyone, I would have been nervous to have had my appearance altered so much
with such an attention-grabbing hair-style.  With a fresh start in a new
town, I was thrilled!

Mark gave me special shampoo and conditioner and told me to come back any
time I needed a touch-up.  Instead of being "on-the-house" they charged me
only $10, despite having spent over an hour and also giving me a manicure.
This began what remains a wonderful mentoring friendship with Jeff and
Mark.  They became advisers on hair, fashion, restaurants, music and
anything else I would let them advise me on!  As I left the shop they
suggested I visit a nearby clothing store and told me to ask for a certain
friend of theirs for assistance.  I actually went straight there and was so
excited to be in a place where everyone and everything was so openly gay.

The net result of this visit was a pair of designer jeans; more form
fitting than I was used to wearing, several snug sleeveless shirts and tank
tops with different of pastel colors and a "rainbow" beaded choker
necklace.  I also bought some different styles of fairly skimpy shorts.  I
decided to leave the store wearing a pair of hemmed denim shorts and a
tissue thin turquoise tank-top as well as the necklace.  Between my
hairstyle and the outfit I might as well have been wearing a sign that said
"I AM GAY"!  But was exciting to look in the mirror and both men and women
were checking me out as I traveled home.

Despite all her reassurances, I was a little nervous that my mother might
think I had gone overboard.  However, even though she looked startled
initially, when she "inspected" me carefully, she told me that I looked
great!  For the rest of the days leading up to school starting, I became
much more comfortable dressing and acting in a conspicuously "out" manner.
The only negative was occasionally, much older men would "cruise" me which
I immediately discouraged, as this definitely did not interest me.

I "learned" to flirt however, and I got the attention of a handsome,
athletic-looking boy named Steven that had a summer job at the Museum of
Natural Science.  I was definitely being adventurous as nothing about
Steven's appearance or demeanor would have suggested that he would be
interested in me.  However, I thought he was cute and I figured I did not
have anything to lose by trying.

I'm not sure whether he initially found me attractive, or just found me to
be a novelty.  I was pretty obvious in that I loitered around him and made
small talk after I first noticed him.  He had a boring job, just "guarding"
an obscure exhibit so I think he liked having anyone to talk to.  I think
he initially was to talk to me because I snuck him gum and candy!  With
only small talk over the course of an hour, I asked what his work schedule
was and before he could say no, I told him I would come by the next day.

I went by the next three days for at least an hour each time and spent as
much time talking to him as I could without getting him in trouble with his
supervisor.  I couldn't have been more obvious!  Each day I wore my hair
differently and I wore different combinations of clothes.

I did not force the issue but I could tell he was checking me out and he
began to ask questions about my clothes.  The third day I wore an outfit I
had bought with Jenny in the girl's department of a store.  It included a
white "Bad Kitty" logo sleeveless t-shirt that had red borders around the
collar and shoulder caps.  I also wore matching skimpy red terry cloth
shorts that rode very low on my hips and left several inches of my midriff
exposed.  My hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, leaving loose bangs,
and wore my rainbow necklace and small hoop earrings.  I got more than a
few stares from some of the other museum visitors as I made my way to
Steven's exhibit area.  If I was going to scare him off this outfit would
have done it!

Instead we had the best conversation yet about his background and what life
was like at school.  He was much more interested in my activities that were
so different than his.  I could sense that he was "warming-up" to me so I
became more aggressive.  I stood very close to him, resting one of my hands
on his upper arm, sometimes when I was talking.  After I could sense he was
definitely enjoying my company, I "innocently" asked if I was "bothering"
him and if he wanted me to leave.  He seemed surprised by the question, and
immediately said I wasn't bothering him and asked me to stay longer.

However, I decided to be a bit elusive and told him I should leave.  He
implored, "Please don't leave, maybe we could eat lunch together on my
break?"  Thus, we sat together at the museum café during his lunch hour and
I stayed with him most of the day afterwards.  Even on a wide bench, I sat
right up against him when he had his hourly breaks.  Even though I could
tell it made him uneasy he made no attempt to pull away when I would
casually rest my hand against his arm or on his thigh while we talked.

Finally, Steven asked, in a most clumsy fashion, if I was gay.  I firmly
and quickly said "yes" and just looked directly into his eyes, smiling but
not saying anything.  He became flustered and immediately tried to make it
clear that he was not gay.  I just replied with a flirty smile, "Then,
under the circumstances, I really appreciate you letting me have lunch with
you.  But, I don't recall saying that you were gay ".

He blushed at the comment, but still made no attempt to put any distance
between us.  He then asked some really naïve questions such as "Do you
really like to give blow-jobs to other guys?"  As confidently as possible,
I slyly told him with a smile that not only did I enjoy giving blow-jobs
but that I was "really good at it."  He blushed again, but also laughed and
smiled back at me this time.

Although I felt "trampy" afterwards, I was also horny and I "enticed"
Steven to come over to our townhouse after work, under the ruse of looking
at my CD collection.  Once in close quarters, I simply asked him if he
would let me go down on him and re-assured him that I wouldn't tell anyone,
nor would it mean he was "gay".  He did have token resistance, but I knew
where his heart was and persisted.

The net result is that I got his pants completely off and shirt unbuttoned
and I happily gave him a tongue-bath and blow-job.  I feel sure that this
probably made him reconsider his previously confirmed heterosexuality!  He
seemed nervous after we were through and in a hurry to leave.  He awkwardly
asked for my phone number, but I did not expect to hear from him again and
I really did not care about trying to pursue an impractical relationship
with him, since he lived on the other side of town. But, it was confidence
building to know that I could seduce him, and it felt wonderful to have a
hard penis in my mouth and to savor the taste of an orgasm!

As school started, I toned down my actions and dress and tried to blend
into the new school.  It was a big school, and it had a lot of good art,
music and academic programs.  Many of the clique friendships had been in
place for years, so it was no problem to be anonymous.  Inside the school,
I decided to focus on art and creative writing as activities.  These
activities, along with my appearance made me "acceptable" on the fringes of
both the artsy crowd and the Goth crowd.  I became a little bit closer to
some of the people, but none were "out" as gay and I laid low in response.

Outside school, I was excited to audition for and be invited to attend an
elite dance academy, which provided instruction as well as performance
opportunities for dancers in my age bracket.  This was a very time
consuming activity (almost every afternoon and every Saturday morning), but
practicing dancing does not feel like work to me.  I quickly gained the
respect as one of the better dancers overall, and probably the best male
dancer among the group of 16 dancers who were from various high schools and
of different ages.  Each was very serious about dance and artistic respect
helped make the group stimulating to be with.

As seemed to be my history, I soon became pretty good friends with the girl
dancers, and a beautiful girl named Jenny became my confidant.  Unlike
Mary, however, she immediately picked up on my sexual preferences and had
no delusions about them changing.  She was very hyper in conversation and
confided to me that she was very active sexually and wanted to know all the
details of my "love life".

Jenny was both beautiful and had a dynamic, free-spirit personality.  She
had an incredible ability to attract an endless series of handsome male
suitors...few of whom she kept around more than a month!  Jenny and I
quickly became the best of friends.  Her boyfriend of the moment had to
tolerate incessant cell phone calls between us and Jenny would often choose
to go do something separately with me on weekend nights.

Sometimes we went shopping together and gave feedback on what the other was
considering buying.  I could fit into most clothes in stores for
girls/women and would buy shorts, jeans and tops there sometimes.  Jenny
encouraged me to be "bold" and one time when she was looking at earrings,
she held some up to my ears and convinced me to get both ears pierced.  We
also got our bellies pierced at the same time...Jenny's with a rhinestone,
mine with a silver hoop.  It looked great on my thin, tight midriff, when I
was shirtless or wearing a revealing top, and I began to wear those more
often.

My mother was cool with the earrings, but wasn't real excited about the
belly ring.  She did seem to be relieved I had not gotten multiple
piercings or tattoos, however.  Fortunately, Mother loved Jenny, and I
think that softened the effect that it had been her idea!  Thankfully, I
also turned 16 and got a driver license, and mother surprised me with a
small used import car to get around in.  Freedom at last!

As well as the dancing was working out, my modeling career was fizzling.
In a bigger city like Houston, there would seemingly have been more
assignments.  But there was also more competition for bookings, and they
tended to be looking for "stereotypes".  Now that I was no longer a
"child", my 5'9" height did not fit the 6'1" to 6'2" industry standard for
male models and my features were not nearly masculine enough to fit most
assignments.  It was a stark wake-up call to the limitations I might have
if I tried to pursue modeling as a career.  We did get an agency to accept
me as being under their representation, but actually never got work through
their efforts, except for a couple of print ads for sunglasses.

Well into the fall, I was surprised when my museum friend, Steven, called
me late one Friday night obviously a bit drunk and made small talk.  I
quickly concluded that the real reason for the call was that he was horny.
He was very friendly, however, and I really did like him when we spent time
at the end of the summer.  We just had not really established any basis for
a relationship (beyond sex) in the short time we had spent together.
Finally, being horny myself, I broke the ice and suggested we go to the
movies the next night and meet at a close-in movie theater.

When we met, I could tell he was glad to see me, but he also seemed to be
looking around as if afraid to be seen.  Assuming this would be the case, I
had dressed rather inconspicuously.  Inside the dark theater however, I
discreetly began to fondle him through his jeans and he got really excited.
Later on we drove to a secluded area in his car and I provided expert oral
service, and he awkwardly reciprocated with a hand-job.

Even though I absolutely loved the sex, I really wasn't interested in being
(or having) a sporadic "sex toy", and told Steven as we were departing that
if it was a month before the next time he called, that I would not be
"available".  He quickly agreed in understanding, but still seemed to be
awkward, so once again, I thought I would probably not ever see him again.
I was surprised to hear from him the next night, however, and he told me
that he really wanted to go out with me, but he was just terrified about
being discovered by his family or circle of friends.  I told him that I
could be as discreet as he wanted to be, and we could avoid places close to
his home.  I learned, however, that he could not handle on open
acknowledgement of our relationship even on "neutral turf".

>From this point forward, Steven and I began a discreet but "steady" dating
relationship and went out at least every Friday and Saturday night for
about a month.  Mother welcomed him into our home, and tried to make him
feel comfortable to be affectionate with me in her presence.  I didn't ask
her for permission to have sex, however, and we would sneak moments for
that either when she was not there, or discreetly in my locked bedroom.
For us it never went beyond oral sex. It wasn't a one-way street, however,
as Steven eventually "permitted" himself to give me head.  Any hesitation
ended after about 30 seconds and I could tell he loved it more than he
would ever admit.  So did I!

I really liked Steven and loved having a boyfriend of sorts, but I was not
anywhere close to being in-love.  Steven, however, definitely seemed to be
falling in love with me, and he often talked about he wished he could "show
me off to everyone" and be together every night.  It probably didn't help
his internal conflict that he loved the sex we had together, and in private
we kissed incessantly and he was very affectionate. He called me every
night to wish me good night and even that he loved me. It was very
romantic, but impractical as the tolerance of his family sounded pretty
terrible.  Thankfully, I could talk to Jenny about my relationship with and
she would patiently listen to my frustrations.

In the end, he was unable and/or unwilling to be "out" with our
relationship in any real manner.  Finally, due to pressure from his
straight friends, he occasionally even had to make an appearance in his own
social circles, including token dates with girls from his school.  It is an
individual decision as to being open or not and I actually did understand
his dilemma, even though I did not like it.  For awhile, I tried to be
accommodating, but eventually I got tired of sitting at home and being
faithful.

With Jenny's urging, I ended the relationship without issuing any
ultimatums about him changing or being more open.  Steven was miserable
with the idea of breaking up, and pleaded with me to be patient while he
tried to sort things out.  If I thought that possible in a reasonable
time-frame I would have agreed, but I believed otherwise.  The whole
experience was great but made me pity Steven who would likely struggle with
his sexuality going forward.  I felt sure that Steven had neither received
, nor given, his last blow-job involving another guy!  I really appreciated
my mother's tolerant attitude even more after this episode!

Despite the break-up with Steven, things in my life were going well overall
and I was becoming much more self-confident.  I was doing well in school
and in my small eclectic circles, I was treated with respect.  The dance
company was awesome and Jenny and I did things together all the time
outside of dance.  It was kind of funny, because her boyfriend of the
moment might initially get jealous that she insisted on going out with me,
instead of the boyfriend on a given night.  The intolerant ones did not
last long with Jenny and occasionally I would be just part of a larger
group going to the movies etc.

My stylist friends Mark and Jeff continued to be mentoring friends, and
were always trying to think of guys to fix me up with.  Unfortunately,
their circle of friends did not include many other teenagers.  It had been
a bit of a dry spell since I broke up with Steven, but I wasn't in a hurry
to be tied down again anyway.  Mark and Jeff continued to be my "fashion
advisors" although budget constraints began to set in, and sometimes I had
more unusual clothes to wear than I had occasions to wear them.  I began to
collect different types of earrings which were usually very inexpensive.
Most of the time, however, I would just wear small simple hoops.

On Halloween, I decided to go to a big party my Goth school crowd had
organized.  I decided to "honor" them and go in full Goth uniform.  I made
an appointment at the salon on Halloween afternoon and Mark and Jeff were
both working a female client wearing a jogging suit when I arrived.  Even
from a distance I could tell that the lady was very stylishly beautiful.
She had long, lavish hair that they had styled with long wavy curls.  At
this point they appeared to be putting the finishing touches on her make-up
which was very "vogue" as well.

When "she" stood up to leave I had to do a double-take, because her face
and hair were even more beautiful than I had originally thought.  However,
she was at least 6'2" and by her frame, I could tell she was a
cross-dresser or drag queen.  She nodded politely to me as she left, but we
did not speak.  "Wow!" I said after she left, leaving all the obvious
questions unasked.  "Wow, is right", Mark responded.  They then mentioned
that she was a well-known drag show performer who would be a headliner at a
club tonight.  They were going to go to the show, in fact.  I was astounded
with how beautiful her natural features were as well as how artistic my
friends had been in making her even more beautiful.

As was my custom with Mark and Jeff, I was their last appointment of the
day, so they could take their time and we could visit.  I told them about
my plan to become Goth for a night and how I wanted them to give me the
appropriate hair and heavy makeup to achieve the look...something on the
order of Robert Smith of The Cure!

I was already wearing a black clothing ensemble as I planned on going to
the party directly.  They understood what I wanted but told me they would
only do it under the "condition" that they get to try a different look on
me first before they gave me the look that I wanted.  Trusting them, I put
myself in their hands.  Mark washed my hair and curiously began putting in
small rollers, while Jeff painted my fingernails and with reddish- maroon
polish.

Now sitting under a hair dryer, they told me to relax and close my eyes.  I
could feel them working with an electric shaver, small scissors, trimming
selectively about my forehead and sideburns.  I could then feel plucking of
my eyebrows with tweezers. Then I felt a small amount of lotion being
applied to my face.  I was beginning to get nervous about what they were up
to but I did trust them and it felt relaxing to let them work on me like I
was royalty.  Finally, the told me to open my eyes and they used a tool to
brush out and curl my lashes and then applied mascara.  Then I could feel
them applying eye-shadow and eye liner.  I was now more than curious about
what they were doing to me, but they insisted I wait until they finished
before looking.

With my hair now sufficiently dry, after removing the rollers, Mark began
to work furiously with a brush and curling iron.  Jeff applied lip gloss
with a small brush in a color that matched the nail polish and fined tuned
what he had already applied.  Jeff then replaced my simple small hoop
earrings, with much larger silver hoops, about an inch in diameter.  He
also put on a snug imitation silver necklace with oversized beads.  I could
feel Mark pulling back the top part of my hair and securing in back with a
clip.

They then told me to shut my eyes and led me back to a large set of
mirrors.  When I opened my eyes, there was not a Goth rock face looking
back at me but a face at least as glamorous as the drag queen's.  The hair
that covered my ears on the sides was pulled back in to a partial ponytail
at the crown of my head which left the large earrings prominently exposed.
Instead of a wild hair style, I had gentle flowing curls that were
meticulously arranged.  Instead of dark, exaggerated Goth-style eye-shadow,
my eyes looked straight from of a Cosmopolitan cover, with prominent
shadings, but all quite tasteful.  My eyes looked twice as large due to the
mascara, liner and shadow.  My sideburns (barely visible under any
circumstances) were fully obscured by twin streams of curls that framed my
face in front of my ears.

I was mesmerized by what they had done, but also apprehensive since this
look exceeded the bounds of any Halloween costume I had envisioned.  I also
insisted to them I was not trying to become a girl!  However, I definitely
gained a new appreciation of my ability to look sexy in an androgynous/fem
way.  Jeff and Mark were hoping I would actually go just like that to the
party, but I resisted.  The "bribed" me by telling me that they would sneak
me into the drag show after my party, so I could see their customer
perform.

We compromised by me wearing no earrings, removing the necklace, wearing a
black leather "conductor" cap they had in their "costume box" and a pair of
flashy sunglasses.  They made me promise not to change anything else and
when I arrived at the bar, to put back on the large earrings and necklace
and take off the sunglasses and cap.  I definitely looked unusual, but with
these adjustments, not too outrageous for the group of people I was going
to hang out with!

It ended up being the best Halloween ever!  The high school party was
basicall a rave and in a warehouse on the outskirts of downtown.  Probably
a good bet to get busted before the evening was over!  It was a wild
atmosphere, but I drank beer in moderation and declined (as is my practice)
to indulge in the drugs that were readily available.  The music was a DJ
and they stuck to the hard core stuff such as NIN, Tool, and Ministry,
along with some hip-hop.  There were probably over 150 people there, so the
kids were from other schools as well.  I noted that among the large crowd
dancing there several pairs of same-sex dancers, both boys and girls.

I caught up with the people I knew from my school and no one recognized me
at first with the sunglasses, but everybody seemed at ease and they were
all dressed flamboyantly as well.  A pretty low key guy from school named
Alex, whom I did not know well, paid inordinate attention to me. After a
while we walked outside to get beers.

He was also had a slight frame and while decked out, looked more
"conventional Goth", (if there is such a thing!)  He casually asked if he
could try on my sunglasses, and without thinking I handed them to him.  He
didn't want to see the sunglasses, however, he wanted to see me without
them.  He exclaimed, "You look incredible!  You should leave the glasses
off."  I went on to briefly explain that I did not want to call attention
to myself and that I had not intended to be made up this way.

He looked up at me and said, "Look whatever you are is fine with me.  But,
I have been wanting to let you know that I am gay and I have wondered if
you are not also.  I'm not hitting on you at all, in fact, you are not my
type!  But, maybe we could become better friends if we, in fact, have being
gay in common."  I responded by telling him with a laugh that we definitely
needed to become better friends.  Alex had a lot to reveal about how he had
found discreet acceptance among a surprising number of people at school and
that I could achieve the same thing with his help.  Alex was very cute,
with a short haircut with buzzed sides. His look was sort of
androgynous...he was not my type either!  I decided on a whim to invite him
to go to the drag show and we left the warehouse party about 11:30PM in my
car as he had ridden with others.

As we arrived at the bar, I reassembled the look from the salon with Alex's
help and he was mesmerized by my appearance.  As planned, I called Mark on
his mobile phone and he met us at the back entrance with one of the owners
(whom he was friends with).  The owner immediately put wrist-bands on us
that identified us as being under 21 (not able to drink alcohol) but over
18 (able to be at the bar).  Mark made a production about adjusting my hair
with a comb before we entered the main area.

It was a wild scene, between being the most popular gay dance club in town
and being Halloween.  I don't think Alex had ever been to such a club.  We
initially hung close to Mark and Jeff in relatively quiet part of the club.
They seemed to know everyone there and made a point of making of bragging
about my "makeover".  Most of their friends were in their late 20's or 30s.
I had learned that appearances are not always revealing and that gay people
often look totally "straight".  I usually was in a minority in being
relatively fem with long hair, among gay guys, and this was no different
that night..

There were definitely a lot of boys under 21 there and they were of every
type imaginable.  After a while, Alex and I decided to go dance together to
be among younger guys.  Without leaving the dance floor we ended up dancing
with several different guys.  Alex ended up exclusively with a very
handsome, muscular boy that was shirtless and had a crew cut.  By the third
dance they were shamelessly mugging on the dance floor, and who knows what
else when they left to be in the corner.

I ended up dancing with a conspicuously "yuppie looking" CPA in his
mid-20's named John.  He was "straight-looking" and really handsome and had
a big smile.  With myh best flirting style, I gave him a hard time about
his appearance and asked if that was a Halloween "yuppie costume".  He
confided that he had just broken up with a girlfriend and he only recently
had begun to explore his same-sex attractions.  I appreciated his honesty
and decided to dance with him to the exclusions of others.  I let him kiss
me after a rare slow dance song, but I initially did not encourage him too
much since I was underage (even if he didn't know it).  He told me that I
was the most attractive person in the bar and we held hands as we re-joined
Mark and Jeff to watch the drag show.

I loved the drag show because it was campy and funny.  But some of the
girls were stunning, even as several others were cartoonish.  One of my
favorites was a dead ringer for Britney Spears.  There were also identical
twins, stage-named Kara and Tara, who were really beautiful.  They were all
very talented however, and had good dance moves and could lip-sync
perfectly.  It was not my idea of a performance career, but it occurred to
me that I could probably do that as well as anyone, if I were to ever try.

Mark and Jeff's client was over-the-top good and performed for about 30
minutes on her own as the main act.  Afterwards, she/he joined us and she
took note of me and realized I was the same person from the salon.  She
said I looked "perfect" and jokingly asked me to not become a drag
performer or she'd be out of business.  I left John for a few minutes to
locate Alex and make a plan to depart as it was almost 1:30AM.  They were
in the corner where I had seen them go to before and were all but fucking
right there with their clothes on.  Alex reluctantly agreed to meet me at
the car in 20 minutes.

I went back where John was obediently waiting.  I agreed to let him walk me
to the car. I really did not want to tell him I was only sixteen and it was
not his fault for not knowing since I had a wristband on.  My car was
parked in a fairly remote part of a quiet street.  .  He urged me to come
home with him but I resisted.  I knew I was being risky, but I told him he
could wait with me in the back seat.  The more we kissed, the more my
resistance broke, and before I knew it, Johns pants were pulled down and I
was servicing him.

As Alex approached, he sensed what was going on and announced himself
rather loudly as my cue to collect myself.  If John had not already
experienced love at first sight, he probably had it now, after exploding
his orgasm into my mouth.  I did not give John my phone number but I asked
him for his and told him I would call.  I sort of meant it, but I knew it
was probably not meant to be.  The responsible part of my brain knew it
would not be wise to get involved with someone that much older even though
he was totally attractive otherwise.

Back into the car and on the way to our neighborhood, Alex was ecstatic,
partially because I think he was drunk from sneaking more beer inside the
club.  We shamelessly described what had occurred with our respective
"pick-ups".  Given how they had been all over each other on the dance
floor, I was not surprised to learn that Alex had also given his boy a
blow-job in the stall of the restroom.  His guy was only 17 and had gotten
in on a fake ID, so he was fair game and they later ended up going out for
months.

As we got to his house, Alex asked if I wanted to come upstairs and remove
my make-up before going home.  My mother probably would be waiting for me
and I did want to go out of my way to shock her so I agreed.  His parents
were fast asleep.  Once cleaned up, Alex came closer to me and said, "The
problem is we both gave head but didn't get any!  I'll do you, if you do
me."  We were both horny and I had already learned from Jeremy that there
is nothing wrong with a mutual blow-job between friends!  Alex and never
had any sexual contact after that night but we have been great friends ever
since!

Although the sexual activity that fall had been exciting, I was beginning
to long for more of a relationship.  I almost called Steven and offered to
get back together on a fully discreet basis wherein he could still spend as
much time as he needed to with his "straight crowd".  I almost called John
from Halloween, who I am sure wondered why I had not called.  This was
really tough because he was very much the type of guy I would like to be
with.  With Jenny's encouragement, I resisted these temptations, while also
vowing to back away from any more "spontaneous" encounters.

After practice one day in, Mr. Davis, an openly gay part-owner of our dance
studio, asked Jenny and I to stay after to see if we wanted to dance
together for a high profile charity function.  It turns out that one of his
friends, a Mr. Simon, is an event planner.  He was putting together the
entertainment for the event which promised to have over 1000 people, and
have a theme of ancient Greece and Greek mythology.

We were not going to have any narrative, but along with several characters
depicting Zeus, Hercules, Helen of Troy etc., create the impression of
ancient Greece come to life.  All of this was to go on in the background
while other parts of the event were going on.  Jenny and I were to be
dancing minstrels of sorts and perform some fairly challenging moves.
Since it only involved a few rehearsals and we were also going to get paid
a few hundred dollars, we both immediately accepted!

Mr. Davis gave us directions to Mr. Simon's offices and told us to go over
there the next afternoon for a kick-off meeting for the cast.  Jenny and I
decided to go together straight from practice which meant I was still in
dance tights, covered by a sweatshirt.  As usual, I had my hair pulled back
into a ponytail to keep it out of my face while practicing.  When we
arrived, they gave us forms to fill out and directed us to a meeting room
with several tables.  There was about five people already filling out
paperwork and Jenny and I went to a vacant table to fill out ours.

>From behind me I heard a friendly voice saying, "Hi girls!  Is it okay if
I join you?"  Jenny looked up, and I turned and felt my stomach twinge at
the sight of this incredibly good-looking guy with wavy, but
neatly-trimmed, light brown hair and beautiful blue eyes.  Now into full
view, he immediately looked distressed and apologized for calling me a
girl.  He was genuinely concerned and I told him it was a mistake anyone
could make from behind.  He then introduced himself as Jason and we told
him our names.

Jenny, in "conquest mode", said in her most flirtatious voice, "Kelly and I
just arrived from dance practice, that's why we are so yucky looking.  We
are dance partners."  In typical fashion, Jenny had set the bait well,
since she made it clear that we were not a couple but only dance partners.
Also by Jenny calling us "yucky looking", Jason felt compelled to respond
saying, "You aren't yucky looking at all. You both look great!"

By now there were about a dozen people in the room, mostly in their late
teens or early 20's.  As we were waiting for the meeting to begin, we
talked about the event and our roles. Jason was to play Odysseus and be the
central visual character, while mostly sitting on a throne.  It involved no
real acting and had no dialogue. He got the job through his modeling agency
(one of the one's that turned me down!) and you could check every box on
him having everything a male model was supposed to have.  He was so
friendly and had the biggest smile.  Even in blue jeans and a long sleeve
shirt you could tell he was extremely fit and muscular.  However, despite
Jenny's best attempt to monopolize his attention, he actually kept both of
us in the conversation.

Just then, a late-arriving girl named Angela arrived and sat down next to
Jason, complaining about everything from the traffic, to why we even had to
have this meeting.  She and Jason already seemed to know each other quite
well and though he tried to politely introduce us, Angela basically ignored
us and did succeed in monopolizing Jason's attention.  It turns out that
she was also from the same modeling agency and she would be the lead female
character, Helen of Troy, and be beside Jason the entire time.  Jenny had
steam coming out of her ears with disdain for Angela.

As the meeting began, I tried to pay attention closely.  Most of the
characters had little to do but just look good, whereas Jenny and I
actually had a fair amount of dance performance to undertake.  As such,
Jenny and I were going to have three rehearsals a week until the show two
weeks hence.  The others were just going to have to attend a dress
rehearsal the night before.  Everyone then went to a crew that measured us
for costumes.

As I was beginning to move towards the exit, Jason pulled away from what he
was doing and made his way over to me, just as Jenny did, as well.  He
said, "I really enjoyed meeting you both.  I look forward to seeing your
performance!"  As he said the word "both" he looked directly into my eyes
and I could swear he lingered for just an instant before shifting back and
forth between Jenny and me.  Just then, Angela arrived and led Jason off to
ask some question about her their costumes.

When Jenny and I drove off in my car she said, "I will probably hire a
hit-man to knock off that bitch Angela!  The question is, would I be doing
you a favor or me a favor?"  Professing my innocence at understanding what
she meant, Jenny described how she couldn't help notice how attentive Jason
was to me.  I did not allow my hopes to get up and I told Jenny so.  It
just didn't seem like it could be possible.

Jenny noted that it was the first time we had both had an immediate
attraction to the same guy and in "competition", so to speak.  Jenny said,
"Based upon the way Angela seems to rule him, you probably have a better
shot than me!"  I responded, "Well you already have a boyfriend anyway.
Why do you want Jason?"  She reached over and hugged and tickled me saying,
"Same reason you want him, because he is so sweet and gorgeous!"

Mr. Davis and Mr. Simon supervised our dance rehearsals over the next two
weeks.  Mr.  Simon was very demanding, but actually very nice and
supportive.  He was in his mid- 40's and had an obvious relationship with a
somewhat younger man who was involved in producing the show. From a
technical perspective the choreography was not that difficult, but it had
some clever and flamboyant jumps and moves that we would do together.

We would be angel-like creatures dressed in similar, androgynous white
robe-like costumes moving about to entertain the "court" of Odysseus and
Helen.  I had not stopped daydreaming about Jason since the first meeting,
yet was nervous about my thought because I thought it so unlikely that he
would be interested in me.  The self- confidence I had developed was now on
hold.

The Friday night dress rehearsal finally arrived, and Jenny's mother and my
mother came to watch the show since they could not attend the charity
event.  The hotel where the event was being held had makeshift dressing
rooms set up in rooms adjoining the grand ballroom.  I found a corner and
began putting on my costume, which consisted of sleeveless white dance
tights that stopped at my knees, and a loose, skimpy robe that covered the
tights.

Just as I was finished dressing, the Greek God Odysseus stood before me
with a big smile.  He said, "Hi Kelly!  How have the rehearsals gone?"  I
downplayed the act by telling him I just hoped I did not trip!  As we
turned to the exit, he patted me on the back and wished me luck.  Whether I
had a chance with him or not, Jason was one of the nicest people I had ever
met.

As with all dress rehearsals, there was a lot of chaos and disorganization.
For the most part, Jason and Angela sat in their thrones.  Jenny and I
along with several others, had entrances and exits.  Finally after about 1
½ hours, they ran through the entire event, which in performance time might
take only one hour, even though it was to be spread out over a 3 hour
program.  I occasionally would look over at Jason and he would have a
disinterested look as Angela was whispering to him incessantly.  When it
was time for our main performance, I looked again at Jason and he was
smiling broadly at us, and with a little wave he silently mouthed "good
luck".  Jenny said under her breath, "He likes you...for sure.  Dance
well!"  Dance well we did and everyone, including Mr. Simon and Mr. Davis
seemed very pleased.

After we were done, Jenny and I were greeted by our mothers who had become
friends through us and they were gushing about the performance.  Mr. Simon
and Mr. Davis also made a big fuss over us to our mothers which they loved.
Jason then came up and introduced himself to both mothers and told us how
great the dancing was.  He genuinely seemed excited about it.  While he
acknowledged Jenny politely, his focus was clearly on me and I could see
Jenny smirking at me, in response.  Jason and I walked back to the dressing
area together among the other performers and he raved about how he good we
were and how he could never do something like that.  As we separated and he
walked over to his dress area, I just gazed at him.  He looked so sexy in
his Greek God robe!

We emerged from the dressing area about the same time, and Jason turned to
me and said, "Listen, maybe we...".  Just then Angela interrupted us and
insisted that Jason leave that instant as they had ridden together and she
was going to be late for something else.  With a forlorn look Jason said,
"I guess I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow.  I can't wait."  Without
thinking, I replied, "Neither can I."  I was awestruck by this brief
exchange and just stood there and watched him leave.  Right as he got to
the door, he turned back and looked at me with his big smile and waved.  I
was weak in the knees, when Jenny brought me back to reality, with a
sarcastic, "Congratulations!  You win."

I was nervous all day Saturday, not about dancing, but about what I hoped
was going on between Jason and me.  I allowed myself to have hope, but
despite Jenny's convictions, I still had my doubts that he was interested
me in anything except as a friend.  Perhaps he was just an unusually
friendly person who was nice to everyone.  As the time neared to go to the
hotel, I focused on the task at hand and practiced my steps.  The dressing
area was chaotic as would be expected.  Jason had not arrived when I had
finished dressing.  Since it was performance night, I had to sit still
while a make-up lady added stage eye- liner, mascara and lip gloss.  They
actually liked my hair brushed down and did not change anything else other
than asking me to take off my earrings.  By the time I was through getting
made-up Jason had not only arrived, but also had dressed.

"Kelly, you look great!", he said as he approached me and stood so close I
had to look up to make eye contact.  I replied, "Well you look pretty good
yourself, you Greek God, you!"  He laughed and then told me that what he
wanted to ask me yesterday is to go out and have a late dinner after the
show to celebrate.  I innocently asked, "Oh, do you mean as a group with
Angela and maybe Jenny?"  He replied looking directly into my eyes, "No.  I
was hoping it could just be you and me."

With a hopeful view of his intentions I quickly said yes.  I thanked the
stars that I had driven alone to the function.  Putting a hand on my
shoulder, he wished me luck and told me he would be watching me. I had such
an adrenaline rush I needed to gather myself before entering the backstage
area of the ballroom to meet up with Jenny.

My excitement visible, Jenny noted that I seemed to be in a particularly
good mood.  When I told her that Jason had asked me out to dinner after the
show she just nodded to herself with a big smile.  She then said, "Don't
sell yourself short sweet-heart, Jason would be lucky to be with you".
When Jenny chooses to not be sarcastic or a comedian, she has a heart of
gold and truly cares for me.

The show went off great and the black-tie/evening gown crowd seemed to love
it.  There were long periods where we just sat silently in the background.
Whenever possible, I would sneak looks at Jason, and he usually would look
back at me within seconds.  Jenny took note of this and whispered
sarcastically, "You guys are disgusting.  Can't you wait until after the
show?"  Our main dance performance was better than any of our practices and
the crowd went wild.  When the cast took a "curtain call" at the end, Jenny
and I got a rousing ovation.

Jenny's boyfriend had snuck backstage to watch the show and he
congratulated me nicely.  Jenny hugged me and wished me luck with Jason,
and they left.  I had a bit of a panic attack, when I remembered that I had
arrived wearing only gym shorts and a sweater-shirt over my tights, so not
to worry about changing or losing clothes.  I had not brought any cream to
remove my makeup either.  Jason was dressed in blue jeans and a polo
pullover as he arrived over to check on my status.  I told him my dilemma
and he laughed saying that anywhere we would go this late would have to be
casual anyway.  He would not hear of me going home to change and insisted
that I looked great.

So now where to go at 11:30PM on a Saturday night?  In a risky but gut
level instinct decision, I told him to meet me a restaurant called "House
of Pies" which was near downtown, close to where I lived and somewhat on
the way home for him.  I told him that it was a 24 hour diner-type
restaurant that had breakfast foods, burgers, as well as specialty pies.
What I didn't tell him was that it was nicknamed "House of Guys" on weekend
late-nights because it was patronized by a 99% gay male clientele who had
munchies after bar hopping.  Alex and I had gone there with Mark and Jeff
one crazy evening, and it was a people-watching extravaganza.  If there was
chance I had misread Jason, then this would be a disaster.  If he really
was interested in me, then there would be no better place where we could
go.

Jason knew where it was and we agreed to meet there.  I arrived first and
was able to get us a two-seater booth.  When Jason arrived, I waived at him
and as he walked towards me, he seemed oblivious to the crowd, several of
which were quite outlandish in appearance.  As we ate a huge "breakfast
meal", we told each other all about our respective backgrounds and
interests.  Like me, Jason's father was not in the picture having divorced
his mother when he was quite young.  He seemed a bit bitter as they seldom
spoke and almost never saw each other.  Fortunately, his father provided a
financially rich lifestyle, through child support and the original division
of property.

Also like me, Jason had been a model since his mother had gotten him into
it as a child.  Unlike me, however, he was in more demand than ever.  He
loved sports but was forced to give up most of them due an equilibrium
problem caused by a problem with his inner ear.  Like me Jason was halfway
through tenth grade and attended the High School for the Performing Arts,
where he focused on drama.  Ironically, other than in school activities he
had curtailed outside drama activities since they took up so much time.  As
we visited further, Jason was captivating with his smile and I could tell I
was captivating him by the way our eyes met.  Yet, even after an hour of
talking, we had avoided the obvious question about either of us being gay
or not or where we were going.

Finally, Jason looked around the room and focused on a table near us where
two young men were kissing.  He said to me, "Interesting place you chose to
have dinner.  Was there any particular reason?"  I just smiled back at and
told him that I thought I might not stand out so much with all my costume
makeup on still and this silly dance costume.  He reached out with both his
hands and held mine gently saying, "You look awesome tonight and I am
thrilled you chose this place."

With that he pulled my left hand to his face and gently kissed it.  I said
softly, "You know, I would have never thought you would be interested in
me.  You could be with any girl you want.  I thought you and Angela might
be an item".  He responded, "Angela and I have been at the same agency for
several years.  She won't read the memo that I'm not interested in her.  I
don't want to be with her or any other girl.  I want to be with you."

We continued holding hands as we told each other our backgrounds of
awareness of being attracted to other guys.  His story was more of nagging
questions beginning with adolescence, while still having a very active sex
life with girls.  Only recently at the High School for Performing Arts, and
its diversity-friendly environment did he allow himself to explore his
growing attraction to boys.

His first experience was with a gay classmate who served more as a mentor
than a relationship.  He confided that he had later been in a relationship
with a 30 year-old photographer that he met on a photo shoot.  Jason said,
"Basically he was openly gay and I flirted with him and allowed him to
seduce me."  It only went on for about a month and he had to be discreet.
Jason had broken it off once the novelty of it wore off, but it had
confirmed any suspicions that he liked guys better than girls.  Jason did
not tell his mother about the photographer but he told her that he was at
least bi-sexual.  She was supportive, albeit reluctantly at first.

It was soon time to go and Jason walked me to my car behind the restaurant,
with his arm around my back.  Standing by my car, we embraced and had a
lengthy "Hollywood kiss".  He ran his fingers through my hair as we kissed
and he whispered that he loved my hair.  "I want to be with you so bad!",
he said, "And I can tell you want me too!"  He then invited me to go to the
cast and production party the next night at Mr. Simon's house.  It took us
twenty minutes to quit mugging and finally leave to go home.  I was in a
daze going home and went to sleep dreaming about Jason kissing me.

The next morning I slept late and my mother had left me a breakfast of
fruit and bagels.  We made small talk about the event the night before,
with her being more focused on the Sunday paper.  Finally, I said, "Mom, I
got invited to go to a cast production party tonight at the Mr. Simon's
home, the senior producer whom she had briefly met.  I'd like to go if it
is okay."  Now focused, she looked over the paper and said, "Well it's
probably okay, but who all will be going?"  I answered, "I don't know who
all will go, but everyone in the production is invited.  Someone else in
the production, asked me to go with them."

Maternal instinct was in full force with my evasive answer, and when she
asked me who this "someone else" was.  I began to look embarrassed and
flustered, even though I was smiling ear-to ear.  She then asked with a
smirk, "Would you be going with a certain young man that looks like a Greek
God...Jason is it?"  I just smiled and nodded.  "Oh honey," she said, that
sounds great, but you aren't being unrealistic about him are you?"  I
replied, "I know what you are saying mom, but I think he likes me...in
fact, I know he likes me!  We went out and got something to eat last night
after the show and now I'm pretty sure...actually really sure!  It was his
idea for me to go to the party with him."

She got up and came and gave me a big hug!  Then she began barraging me
with questions. When is it? Where is it?  How are you getting there?  What
are you going to wear?  I patiently answered all her questions except the
last one, which left me stumped.  I definitely wanted to look great for
Jason and I had a whole closet full of clothes.  But nothing seemed special
enough for my first real date with Jason and I told her so!  She replied,
"Well, I don't remember the last time that we went shopping together, but
we're going to do it today.

So early in the afternoon we went to the Galleria shopping mall and looked
around all the high fashion men's stores.  I saw a lot of things that
looked good but nothing that just jumped out as being me.  As we walked, my
mother began to quiz me on what Jason found attractive about my appearance.
I told her that Jason had not really seen me in anything but dance tights
and a costume most of the time.  I recanted his comments about liking my
long hair worn down instead of combed back.  With an "Aha", she led me to a
leather fashion store.

This store sold clothes for both women and men and had some really wild
fashions to go along with basic black leather jeans.  Towards the back of
the store we came upon a headless mannequin that was had low cut black
leather pants that laced up in the front.  For a top, there was also a very
thin material, black sweater-shirt made out angora that had black leather
strip accents around the shoulders, neck and cuffs, and a small fur liner
around the collar.

I glanced at the price tags and that alone made me want to move on.  And
even though I had often modeled stylish clothes, this combo was in another
league by comparison.  However, my mother insisted to the salesgirl that
she see if we could find the outfit in my size.  It turns out that both
items were designed for females.  As a practical matter I could fit into
women's sizes even if proportions might be off.  However, there was a
similar pant for men called, "rock and roll pants".  Likewise, a similar
sweater-shirt was available without the fur collar lining.  I was somewhat
embarrassed to be looking at these items, but the salesgirl was very
re-assuring.

After taking my rather sparse measurements, the she gave me several sizes
of each to try on.  When I first emerged with the looser of the pants and
shirt, the salesgirl said I looked good, but my mother insisted I try on
the smaller sizes too.  Inside the dressing room, I actually had to
struggle to get the pants on, yet once on, they allowed for more freedom of
motion than I would have expected.  They were low-cut such that I had to
push the top of my underwear down to keep from showing.  Similarly, I could
get the smaller shirt on but it was snug at every point it touched my body.
The bottom of the top barely reached the tops of the pants, leaving my
midriff showing with almost any movement of my upper body.  Although
long-sleeved, the shirt cuffs stopped several inches short of my wrists.

When I emerged, I thought they would both say "too small", but instead the
salesgirl just said, "Wow!" and my mother said "Perfect".  I protested to
my mother, about everything being too tight and too expensive, but she
finally told me to be quiet and trust her.  The salesgirl simply responded
by taking me to the three-sided mirror and let me see for myself.  I am
well-toned although very slim, so the tight pants and midriff showing
looked pretty good.  The salesgirl told me she would give a year's salary
to look as good in these clothes as I did.  Smiling to myself and now
accepting their advice, I began to be turned on by the idea of purposely
dressing so sexily.  As to the cost, my mother called it an early birthday
present.

About an hour before Jason was to arrive to pick me up, I was showering and
my mother called into the bathroom to tell me to get dressed and let her
see how I looked.  I put on the leather ensemble as well as some low black
boots I already owned.  I wore a pair of black bikini underwear that I had
bought previously so they wouldn't show above the pants.  My hair was still
wet when I showed her how I looked.  She said that I looked great, but that
she wanted me to trust her and let her add to my look.

She then led me into her vanity area and had me sit down.  She then
blow-dried my hair like a professional, leaving my hair flowing and full of
bounce.  She then got out her curling iron and began adding gentle waves.
On the sides she turned up the ends so my ears were more visible.  She did
the same thing on the back, flipping the side ends up.  In the middle of
the back she used the curling iron to create wavy trellises.  When she
touched it up with a hairbrush it looked very stylish with purposeful
waves.  Mother had been at least as artful as Mark and Jeff.

I now knew better than to object when she applied light mascara and
eyeliner, and used tweezers to shape my eyebrows thinner and tapered to the
sides.  She then applied light red lip-gloss, which she made me blot
several times with a tissue.  I was used to wearing stage make-up, and had
been really "dolled-up" on Halloween. What mother applied was subtle, and
not something that would automatically be noticed.  When I looked in the
mirror, though, the overall difference was striking.  My dark hair and
olive skin looked great against the all black outfit.  The makeup
highlighted my smile and eyes.  I definitely looked "queer", but it excited
me to look that way.  Plus, the combination certainly accented my best
assets!

I was turned on with the ambiguous look we had achieved, but I was also
nervous about scaring off Jason.  My mother said we could undo everything
if I wanted, but she was of the opinion that this type of look is what had
attracted him to me in the first place.  After thinking about it for a
minute and feeling so sexy looking at myself in the mirror, I decided to
trust my mother.  Besides, if Jason didn't find me attractive when I
thought I looked sexy, maybe we weren't meant to be together anyway.  Other
than Jason, I wasn't worried about anyone else's opinion that was going to
be at the party.  Most of the people would be older; the party host was gay
and it was not like I was pretending to be straight to anyone anyway!

After this thought process, I smiled at my mother and thanked her.  She
then said, "We need a few more things accent the outfit."  She then put on
a snug necklace, wrist bracelet and one inch strand earrings combo that
were made of beautiful orange coral beads.  The pants had no pockets at all
so she retrieved from her closet a thin silver chain that had a small black
leather pouch attached (for wallet, keys etc.) and fastened it loosely
around my waist so it rested on my hips.  I again was hesitant but had to
admit that I was really striking in overall appearance, just like one of
the Boss male models out of ads in Details, Vanity Fair or gay fashion
magazines.  As she looked at the finished product, my mother said, "Kelly,
when Jason sees you he won't know what hit him!  He'll be defenseless!"

I wasn't sure I agreed with my mother, but I decided to trust her and I
went back to my room to wait until Jason arrived.  Mother asked me to let
her answer the door and visit with Jason until she called me a second time.
The doorbell rang on time and I could hear my mother greeting Jason at the
door.  She called out to me to let me know that he was here, yet I was
supposed to wait until she talked to him and make an appearance.  Finally,
after about five minutes, she called out with mock annoyance, "Kelly, come
on down.  You are keeping Jason waiting!"  With that cue I nervously began
to walk down the stairs to the living room where I could still hear them
talking.

Jason's back was to me as I entered the room, and I meekly said "Hi" to
Jason.  My mother was beaming as Jason turned to great me and with
noticeable excitement, he let out a deep breath before saying "Hi
yourself!"  At this moment, my mother quickly excused herself to "get
something from her room".  Recognizing we were alone, Jason approached me
and took both of my hands in his.  He smiled at me and exclaimed. "You look
so hot!  Did you dress up like this for me?"  I simply nodded and replied,
"I hope you approve."  He then gently pulled us together into a snug
embrace with one his hand on my ass pulling me closer..  He whispered,
"It's only been 18 hours but I have missed you so much!"

Mother re-entered the room while we were still embracing but made no note
of it. She had a tissue covering several items that she put in the leather
pouch hanging from the chain.  I looked briefly and saw that she had put in
the mascara, lip-gloss and $50 (in case I needed a taxi).  She then
reminded me all the parental things about no drugs, alcohol, and being home
by a certain time etc.  As we were beginning to leave I leaned over and
kissed her cheek and thanked her for everything.  My mother was my biggest
fan and had done more than I could have asked to be supportive of me, but
no more so than on my first date with Jason.

I could not take my eyes off of Jason.  If I looked like I had come out of
a Versace ad, Jason looked straight out of a Ralph Lauren ad in GQ.
Besides being so classically handsome, he had the biggest smile and I would
melt when he would look at me with his blue eyes.  Jason's family was
well-off so it was no surprise that he had a nice BMW convertible.  As we
walked towards the car he put his arm around the small of my back, and I
reciprocated.  Like a true gentleman, Jason even opened the car door for
me!

Once en route, I asked what he had talked about with my mother before I
came out.  Jason replied, "She was asking normal background questions about
where I went to school, how long I had lived here etc.  The questions were
not a problem.  In fact, she seems pretty cool.  She didn't even mind it
when I told her that I couldn't wait to get into your pants!"  It took me a
moment to process what he had said, but I kept a straight face and replied,
"What a coincidence, because before you arrived I was telling her how I
couldn't wait to get into your pants!  We both started laughing and as we
were at a stoplight, Jason took my hand and we leaned together in a warm
kiss.

We mostly made small talk the rest of the way to the party talking about
some of the people who were involved in the production and speculating
whether they would be there or not.  I did not say anything, but I began to
have doubts about how the party would go.  As far as I knew, no one in the
production except me was certain that Jason might be bi or gay.  What would
Angela say?  I began to be a little concerned that when we arrived, I would
cease to be his date, but instead just a friend he rode to the party with.

We arrived at the party about 45 minutes after it had started and the bulk
of the guests had already arrived.  The group included everyone who had
been involved in putting of the charity event.  I was by no means the only
person with eccentric dress.  We walked through crowd until we found our
host, Mr. Simon, in the dining room with his live-in companion.  He beamed
when he saw us together saying, "Well look at you two...the eye candy of
the whole show!  Did you guys know each other before or did you meet during
the production?"  Jason replied, "The latter."

While visually sizing up both of us, he stated, "Well you two look awesome
together, if it is appropriate for me to call you together."  I remained
silent but Jason put his strong arm around my shoulder and replied, "Yes,
we're together.  You could say it is our first real date!"  Mr. Simon said,
"Great!  You two make yourself at home and have a great time."

As the party went on we migrated around to the various people.  We were not
flagrant in touching, but we did not avoid it either.  More importantly, he
never left my side and really was more interested in talking to me than
socializing with others.  Jenny came late with her boyfriend and laughed
when she saw us from across the room.  She pulled me aside and said, "You
look hot! You should see the way Jason looks at you."  Angela actually
apparently decided to skip the party, no doubt thinking it below her.

After a couple of hours the drinking age crowd was happy and the rest of us
were a little restless.  Jason and I retreated to a loveseat in a parlor
room and I sat snuggled under his arm and we just visited about nothing and
everything.  We were sneaking kisses as well.  I got up to go to the
restroom and on the way back Mr. Simon, stopped me and said, "Kelly, you
and Jason look gorgeous together.  It's none of my business, but I remember
how difficult it can be to find privacy in your situation.  If you would
like, go up the stairs in the hallway off of the kitchen.  There is a guest
apartment up there.  Feel free to use it if you want to some privacy.  The
maid will be here tomorrow anyway.  Look in the bathroom medicine cabinet
if you need supplies."

I was already really horny anyway and I went back and retrieved Jason and
asked him to follow me.  As we passed through the kitchen, I grabbed two
glasses of champagne and a confused Jason followed me upstairs.  At the top
of the stairs was a nice bedroom with an attached bath.  It was the type of
place used for live-in domestics.  When Jason entered the room, I went and
shut the door and locked it behind us.  Jason asked, "Are you sure coming
up here is a good idea?"  I handed him a glass of champagne and told him
that it was our host's idea!  We raised our champagne glasses and I said,
'to us."

After finishing the drink in three quick gulps I set my glass down and went
over and seductively leaned against Jason and put my arms around his neck.
We immediately fell into a passionate kiss and caressing session while
standing.  Jason strong fingers ran through my hair as we kissed while the
other hand massaged my back underneath the shirt.  I was thinking that I
had never been kissed so romantically, when Jason said, "You are the best
kisser ever!"  If he thought I was the best kisser ever, I sure wasn't
going to let him down on what was going to happen next!

I pulled away and walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers.  Jason
seemed a bit tentative so I took charge for the moment.  While kissing
Jason, I also began to unbuckle his pants and pulled them down enough for
me to reach inside his boxers and gently massage his growing erection.  He
was getting excited so I made him sit on the edge of the bed and I helped
him pull off the rest of his clothes.

Once he was naked, I pushed him back onto the bed and silently, but
seductively began undressing myself.  He stared longingly as I removed
everything but the leather pants which had the cumbersome lace-up front.
Jason got off the bed and came up to me and kissed me again while rubbing
our chests together.  He used his hands to gently help push my pants down,
revealing only my bikini briefs.  As he gently removed my underwear, I was
showering his neck and chest with gentle kisses.

Now both undressed, we both fell onto the bed together in embrace.  We
hungrily kissed, hugged and pressed our bodies together.  Jason at 6'2" and
185 lbs. was much bigger than me.  I felt small, but secure in his arms and
was so turned on by his well-defined muscles.  Even though he covered me, I
loved having the weight of him on top of me as we rubbed our crotches
against each other.  This was so different than the passion-free sexual
experiences I had had with Mary or and nothing like the meaningless sex
with Jeremy.  I wasn't going through the motions like I had done with
Steven. This was not sex, and we were making love!

While it was making love, I also was ready to give my new lover the
greatest sexual experience possible.  I wanted to reward him for reaching
out to me so sweetly and also let him know how much passion I had to give
him.  So I gently guided Jason onto his back and with me now on top, I
began showering his body with gentle kisses while using my free hands to
massage him.  I was slow and methodical as I worked my way down his chest
and would stop occasionally to return to his lips.  Jason's had light, soft
chest hair that continued down towards his crotch.

As I approached his crotch I teased him with my tongue, licking him in and
around his pubic region but not touching his balls or penis.  Eventually, I
gently cupped his balls with a hand and flickered by tongue against them,
following by open-mouthed wet kisses until gently taking one testicle
at-a-time into my mouth and massaging with my tongue.  Jason was getting
quite excited but I prolonged the experience patiently.  I began with
gentle flicks of my tongue up and down his shaft and also tickling his
slit.  Then holding his shaft gently in one hand I showered it with wet
open mouth kisses.  Finally, I paused briefly over his shaft before taking
the head into my mouth.

Using my best technique, I began gently and slowly and gradually increased
the pace.  By now I had developed a lot of stamina for giving head and I
think he was overwhelmed at how frenetic my action was on his shaft.  He
was breathless and began massaging my hair as I worked on him.  His penis
was proportionate to his body which meant pretty large, and even as I
worked deeper and deeper, I could not take all of him.  Instead, I used one
hand to massage the shaft in sync to my mouth while using the other hand to
massage and tickle his balls.

Jason said breathlessly, "I am in heaven!  This feels so good!"  I
responded by increasing the pace to where I really had to concentrate to
breathe.  As he got more excited, so did I and I took deep breaths and went
up and down as fast as possible.  I slowed down occasionally to prolong the
action, but Jason started to tighten up and he said breathlessly, "I am
coming!  You need to pull off if you don't want me to come in your mouth!"
I almost giggled to myself because Jason was so helpless under my touch and
coming in my mouth was exactly what I wanted him to do.

I exerted even more effort, taking him even deeper and rapidly tickled his
balls.  I simultaneously felt the shaft quiver in my mouth and heard him
groan, followed quickly by at least three bursts of semen into my mouth.  I
had to struggle a bit to swallow while leaving my mouth covering the head
but I was able to.  The taste lingered in my mouth as I lifted up briefly
to catch my breath.  I then used my tongue to tickle his ultra-sensitive
balls and lick the last residual drops.  From Jason's perspective, I must
have exceeded expectations as instead of letting me linger below the waist,
he pulled me up and aggressively began showering me with kisses.

He then turned me onto my back and began aggressively returning affection
on my body.  His style was more physical and aggressive that I had been
with him, but it was exactly the style that turned me on.  I submitted my
body to him and he aggressively licked, kissed me up and down my
front-side.  He took extra time sucking on my nipples which became
extremely sensitive to his touch.  As he reached my crotch area with his
mouth he paused and perched between my spread legs on his knees and looked
down upon me.  My petite frame beckoned him, accented by a raging erection,
and so did my serene smile as I did my best to look at him seductively.  He
said softly, "You are so sexy.  You have no idea how much I want you right
now!"  I responded, "Well then take me, I'm yours!"

I wasn't sure what he was going to do next but he returned to my crotch and
began aggressively kissing and stroking my penis.  Taking me into his
mouth, he sucked me up and down my shaft, and was able to take my smaller
unit deep into his mouth.  It felt great and he also used his hands to
tickle me, stroke me, and massage me.  As I was about to come I warned
Jason and he pulled away just a few inches and used his hand to stroke me
as I came in and around his nearby mouth.  He said breathlessly, "I wanted
to watch you come!"  Even though I did not come directly into his mouth, he
ended up swallowing most of it.  He gently tickled my balls while licking
the remaining droplets off of my shaft and crotch.  It took five minutes
for us to catch our breath as we cuddled afterwards.

Both he and I needed to be cleaned up a bit and he got up to wash his face
in the small bathroom.  After he was finished I went in and cleaned up, as
well.  I glanced out of the bathroom expecting Jason to be getting dressed,
but instead he was lying on the bed, gently stroking himself.  As I looked
at his perfect masculine body, I began to get hard.  I remembered
Mr. Simon's comment about the medicine cabinet and when I looked in I saw
an ample supply of condoms and several tubes of K-Y jelly.  Emboldened I
returned to Jason, supplies in hand, and used my hands to get him rock
hard.  I then put the condom on while tickling his balls.  We had not
really said anything, but we both knew what was to happen next.

I put an ample amount of the lubricant all over his shaft with extra at the
tip.  I then straddled his waist while on my knees and hovered over his
erection.  "I've never done this", I said, "be patient with me.  I really
want to have you in me right now!"  Jason just smiled and blew me a kiss.
I then gently began to press the tip of his penis against my anus.  It
seemed much too big at first, but I was persistent and eventually my
sphincter began to relax.  With a deep breath I lowered myself until the
head was entirely in.  It bordered on painful but also sent shivers of
pleasure down my spine.

Once I regained my composure, I began to slowly move up and down, deeper
and deeper, and it became easier and easier.  Eventually, I was comfortably
taking him all the way in and he began to lunge up in rhythm as I went up
and down.  I had never felt anything like this in my life and I almost
became dizzy as his penis massaged my prostrate deep inside.

Jason then stopped and gently pushed me onto my back and put a pillow under
the small of my back.  He put more lubricant on himself and spread my legs
out and into the air exposing my ass upward.  He gently approached me on
his knees and re-entered slowly causing me to gasp with pleasure and mild
pain.  By leaving my knees bent, I could easily push up with my feet so he
easily was able to penetrate me while lying on top.  Once we got used to
the positioning, we fell into a synchronized motion of Jason thrusting and
arching up to meet him.  As he continued more aggressively, I wrapped my
angular legs around his bottom and pulled him towards me as we moved
together.

This was better than any thing I could ever imagine!  It felt so good to
feel Jason inside while his strong arms wrapped around my back and he
covered me with frenzied kisses.  I knew that I would be forever addicted
to the sensation of being fucked.  As much I had surrendered to him
sexually, I also knew that he was equally under my spell.  Jason was
getting very worked up and I was finding that the constant pressure on my
prostrate made me feel like I would come any minute.  Jason kept thrusting,
but then pushed himself up with one arm and used the other hand to stroke
me and tickle my balls.  I almost immediately started to come and groaned
and began to spurt come all over my chest.  Witnessing this, Jason also
groaned and went limp as he emptied his load into the condom tip deep
inside me.

After withdrawing, we breathlessly fell into each other's arms exhausted
and Jason held me close on his arm and stroked my hair.  He leaned over and
we gently kissed each other lightly on the lips, fully spent but totally
satisfied.  He rhetorically asked, "So this must be what love feels like?"
I agreed and snuggled closer.  Reluctantly, we needed to get back to the
party or we would really make a scene when we tried to leave.

Jason got up and began to get dressed and I took my clothes into the
bathroom since I need to clean the stray splatters of semen off my chest.
After I got my clothes back on I looked in the mirror and laughed at
myself, because I looked so disheveled, but I was also giddy with
excitement about what had just happened.  I re-organized my hair with a
comb and then reapplied mascara and lip gloss.  I applied both more heavily
than my mother had, and only lightly blotted my lips.  The makeup was now
obvious, and made me look a little "vampish", but I now felt more
assertive.  As I was finishing, Jason came up behind me in the bathroom and
wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed the back of my neck.  We
both were about to get horny again, so we pushed away and came downstairs.

Fortunately, the party was still crowded and we slid right back into the
crowds that were gathered in groups in different rooms of the house.  I did
not realize it before, but now that the party had gotten to its later
stages, some of the last to leave were the better friends of the gay host,
most of which were also gay. As such, we were not out-of-place when Jason
was much more public with his affection than before as we held hands or had
our arms around each other constantly.  Mr. Simon noticed us and with a
knowing smile came and asked, "Have you two been enjoying yourselves?"  We
laughed at the double meaning and thanked him and I whispered to him to
bill us for the maid service.  After that it was time to get home, since I
had not negotiated for a late night out with mother.

When we arrived home I invited Jason in and told him that we did not have
to be discreet around my mother.  She was in the den watching TV and we
joined her.  I think she noticed that I was not quite as tidy as when I
left but she did not say anything.  Jason and I sat on the love seat and
gave a superficial account of the party, leaving out the encounter in the
servant quarters!  Jason and I held hands and finally mother suggested that
he could stay over some time in the near future.  She later left us alone
and we snuggled and kissed on the loveseat for almost an hour until Jason
needed to go.  With that I walked my date to his car and we had a long hug
and kiss before I reluctantly let him go.  He told me he would be calling
me tomorrow the next day to make plans for how we were going to spend as
much time together as possible going forward.

When I went back inside, my mother was beaming at how obviously well the
evening had gone.  Before she could say anything, I blurted out, "I'm in
love!"  She replied, "Well that's obvious...for both of you."  With that I
gave her a big hug and went off to bed to have dreams about my Greek God
named Jason!

At this writing, there is no conclusion to this story, as it has been 2 1/2
years and Jason and I are still very much in love.  We have spent as much
time as possible for two people who are both busy and who attended
different schools.  Mother has done everything she could to further our
relationship, including turning her cheek to the obvious sexual activity
that went on when Jason spent the night.

Jason's parents were mixed, in that his father lived out of town and did
not see him often.  Jason has not even told him he was gay, since he
doesn't think his father "deserves" to know any intimate details of his
life.  Jason is otherwise very self-assured and told his mother that we
were involved together and that he expected her to be supportive.  Jason's
mother, despite knowing about his orientation before, only fully accepted
it after seeing us together a few times.  She and I have since become
really good friends and she is glad that Jason is exclusively with me.
After we had been together about a month, she put a 5x7 photo in her home
office that she took of Jason and me sitting on the beach with me between
his legs and his arms holding me against his chest.

I have gone on all their family vacations the last few years, and Jason and
I always are given a separate room.  Her mother has been dating a really
nice man for about a year and they want the privacy as much as Jason and
me!  Initially I thought it was awkward when we would be at the front desk
and ask for two rooms with king beds.  But there are so many gay hotel
employees and gay couples traveling, that there was no reason to feel
awkward.

His mother's boyfriend is not homophobic, but I do think it surprised him
that Jason was gay, since he is so "straight-looking".  It also took him a
while to get used to our public affection, but now he is totally cool.  At
the end of the day, I think he just wants Jason's mother to be happy to
share his bed and she does not offer it as a choice that he will accept us
as a couple.

My "style" has not changed over the recent past, meaning still very fashion
conscious.  Jason totally encourages me to dress flamboyantly and sometimes
buys me things that he thinks would look good on me.  I have become
something of an earring collector and have gotten an additional pierce in
each ear.  For my birthday, Jason gave me a beautiful pair of diamond stud
earrings and I wear these constantly in the higher of the two holes and add
all sorts of hoops, metal studs, dangles, and bead earrings in the lower
hole.

My hair is now shorter but still cut in a "bob' specifically, in what is
called an "inverted bob" where the back is actually shorter than the sides
and angles down to the front.  On the sides, it falls to just above the
bottom of my ears and is longer along my cheeks.  Thanks to my mother's
tutoring, when I am not in school I usually wear makeup in a very subtle
fashion so that is not obvious.  Jason really likes how eye-liner and
mascara make my eyes stand out.

I look very androgynous, if not feminine, from the neck up. But in the
modeling and dancing world where Jason and I spend our time, people with
eccentric appearances are quite common and most people think it is very
cool.  I get as lot of exercise with dancing and Jason loves to lift
weights so we are both still in peak condition, although with totally
different body types.  Between my racy clothes and appearance, and Jason's
model great looks, people take notice we go places, in general.  But
because we touch, hold hands, and kiss in public, we do draw stares.  We
are not trying to put ourselves on display, but part of our personal growth
individually, and as a loving couple, has been the desire to be open, proud
of ourselves and not struggle in secret like so many do.

The social life at my school has remained a fairly low priority for me.
Along with Alex and a few others, I am commonly known to be gay.
Fortunately no one ha given us a hard time.  By contrast, early on, Jason
immersed me with his diverse and supportive social group at the performing
arts high school.  We go out with his group often and he even took me to
the school's senior prom, which was anything but traditional anyway!  On a
lark, and with Jason's encouragement, I joined several other guys from the
school (some gay, some not) who dressed up as girls for the prom.

I like looking feminine in many respects, but I have never had the urge to
truly become a girl.  However, I would be lying if I said that being fully
cross-dressed isn't a major turn- on.  As you might expect, my mother was a
willing participant in helping me create the look for prom night!

We made an after hours appointment with Mark and Jeff stylist who
prominently used curlers, clips and a small tiara to pull my hair up into
elaborate curls and then applied a very professional full complement of
makeup.  While at the salon I put on the sexy black cocktail dress we had
rented and added lots of jewelry adornments.  I don't have a lot of body
hair anyway but I had shaved my legs and wore panty hose for the first
time.  With a tucks and pins, the dress fit me pretty well and hid a bra
with small breast forms I wore underneath.

The transformation was perhaps too successful as we were all shocked at the
beautiful girl that was looking back at us in the full length mirror!  My
lean dancer's body made me quite statuesque, particularly wearing two inch
heels.  Mother hesitantly asked me (not for the first time) if I had the
desire to actually become a girl.  She is such a free- spirit herself that
she really didn't care what my answer was.  I told her, with Jeff and Mark
listening, that as long as I could be a sexy guy and keep Jason interested,
then I liked myself the way I was.  Out of earshot of my mother, Jeff and
Mark made some comments about looking forward to my "drag" debut at the
clubs.

After getting dolled-up for prom night, I met Jason at his house where he
presented me a nosegay that was heavily scented. His smile indicated his
approval of my look, even before he opened his mouth to say anything.  It
did feel really sexy to look so beautiful, and even Jason's more
conservative mother loved it...a lot!  She insisted on taking a bunch of
pictures of us, the best of which she later sent to his father (still
clueless about Jason having a boyfriend!).  She wrote him that she thought
he "might like pictures of Jason and his date Kelly on their way to the
senior prom".  From the picture no one would have thought I was not a girl.

We went to dinner with a group of about 20 people (including four other
cross-dressers for this night) and completely fooled the wait-staff.  We
had a great time at the prom and most people were completely fooled by the
outfit.  As a one-time event, I enjoyed being queen for a day and Jason
treated me like a perfect lady!  He surprised me as the party ended by
taking me to a hotel room he had gotten in the same hotel as the prom was
being held.  I was surprised to see that my packed overnight bag was
already there, apparently through some conspiracy between Jason and our
mothers!

As I saw the luxurious king size bed, I felt like a virgin bride.  We gave
ourselves totally to each other throughout the night.  As a completely
monogamous couple, with multiple favorable HIV tests, we had long abandoned
condoms, so the sex had only gotten better.  We both had learned to keep
several single-use packets of K-Y liquid in our wallets since we were
always "ready" to have sex, provided we had a "place"!  This night however,
Jason had brought "supplies" from home, and had somehow gotten a bottle of
champagne delivered which we shared in the rest periods between sessions!

As we approached graduation, we had mostly avoided discussing what was
going to happen to "us" now that we would be leaving from high school and
future career planning needed to take place.  Neither of us wanted to
unduly hinder the other's ambitions or educational goals.  For several
months, both of us had been exploring several individual options.

As we woke up the next morning with the afterglow of prom night, we both
decided that getting to wake up every morning together was the only
important thing.  Fortunately in the next few weeks, things came together
so that we would get to have our cake and eat it, too!

 Jason is still a hunk and has remarkable opportunities to further his
modeling career.  He carries himself with such poise and confidence and
looks great in almost any style of clothing.  My dancing opportunity has
greatly eclipsed my acting or modeling opportunities and that has been a
very time consuming preoccupation.  We are getting ready to move to New
York where I have been accepted to join a modern dance company and Jason
was signed to a modeling contract.

We both got accepted to schools in New York and will pursue our education
while working.  Jason will major in business at Columbia and hopes to break
into the business side of entertainment.  I will study hairdressing and
cosmetology at the New York International Beauty School.  I figure when my
dancing career is over I will have opportunities backstage in choreography,
makeup or hair. We have found a small apartment in Greenwich Village that
is tiny, but big enough to hold a queen-sized bed and all the love we can
make!

Who knows what the world holds in store for Jason and me in the future!

Perhaps there will be further chapters.  Please email comments to

  kellyboygirl@yahoo.com

Thanks!