STANDARD WARNING: This is a work of fiction. Any coincidence
to individuals, living or dead, is pure coincidence. Do not read
this story if you are offended by man-to-man romance or sex. Do
not read if you are underage according to the laws in the
country, state/province, county, city/town/village or township
where you live. There is sex between males. You have been warned!
Author's note: I'm thrilled with the positive feedback I've been
getting! I have posted six chapters in two weeks, because I
wanted to establish a presence on Nifty quickly and because I
wanted some feedback since this is my first story. I'm going to
slow the pace down a bit now, because the story is going into
uncharted territory, and because this thing called 'life' is
interfering. But the story is far from over!
By archer
Chapter 6
Matt
The fog was still swirling as Matt reached in his pocket for
the the ticket. At the entrance to the red brick building, he
handed it a boy who thanked him in a deep voice.
Matt walked down a short hall that had offices on either side.
The building was already warm with numerous bodies. Chairs
surrounded three of the wall and guarded them like soldiers.
More interesting to Matt was the assortment of people. The boys,
of course, were there, more than a hundred of them. They had been
scrubbed clean, coached, and were wearing shirts and ties. The
houseparents, counseling staff and some of the teachers from the
school were also there. And there were at least twenty couples,
some with their own children. The included men and women of all
races, ages and economic levels.
Matt stood awkwardly, with the completed forms in hand, looking
for Bill. After a few moments of scanning the gym and not
spotting him, Matt took a seat in the bleachers. Immediately
three small boys sat next to him and began to ask questions.
Whats your name? A cute African American boy
asked. Matt figured he was about eight or nine, as were his
friends.
Matt, he smiled.
Wheres your wife? demanded a brown-haired boy.
Im not married.
Oh.
Are you going to adopt a kid? the third boy asked.
I dont think so.
The trio seemed to lose interest, but only for a moment. They
they began asking questions again.
Matt patiently explained that he had worked at the camp several
summers ago. He also told them that Bill was his friend, and he
was mainly there to see him. Mat discovered the names of the boys
were Julio, Todd and Lamar. They continued to sit with Matt,
casually touching him. The boys and the man watched the parade of
people before them.
Some boys, especially the younger ones, had no qualms about
walking up to the visiting adults. Some of the older boys tried
to look cool, detached, and nonchalant. They had been through
this before and werent getting their hopes up. The
adolescent boys had the toughest time; they were no longer
cute and they knew it. They hadnt yet developed
the attitude of the older boys, and most of them still clung to
the hope that someone might take an interest in them.
Bill walked by the bleachers, and Matt called out to him.
Glad to see you could make it, Bill said, shaking
Matts hand vigorously.
Cant really tell you why Im here, he
relied as he handed bill the paperwork. Please tell me
thats all the forms I have to fill out.
Bill laughed. Nope. Its only the beginning. Thanks
for filling them out. Hey, I have to check out the sound system.
Excuse me. Ill catch up with you later.
A small, slight woman in dressed in a leotard and a long, flowing
skirt moved to the center of the gym. She tested the sound system
and introduced herself. She explained folk dances and gave a very
brief history, then she began. She was an excellent teacher. She
explained each new step thoroughly, then demonstrated it. Her
enthusiasm was infectious. Even most of the wallflowers
participated.
It wasnt long before Matt broke a sweat. After three dances
he decided to sit down. His three new friends followed him to the
bleachers.
Julio found Matts lap much more comfortable than the wood
of the bleachers. Matt grinned and good-naturedly let the boy sit
in his lap.
It was about this time that Matt noticed an adolescent boy
sitting a level below and to the right of him on the bleachers.
Matt took quick glances at the boy without trying to be obvious.
He was about thirteen and slim. He was probably average height
for his age. He had silver-blond hair and blue eyes and was
neatly dressed in jeans and a denim shirt with a tie. The boy
noticed Matt looking at him and smiled. God, hes good
looking. He looks just like an angel.
Jane took a break, and Matt took the opportunity to buy a can of
pop for himself and his new friends. He saw the blond boy
standing nearby.
You want a can of pop, too? Matt asked him.
He smiled again and spoke for the first time. Sure,
thanks.
The five of them sat back down in the bleachers, just as Jane
resumed the center of the room.
OK, she announced, For this next dance you will
need a partner. It doesnt have to be a partner of the
opposite sex. A chuckle ran around the gym.
Matt turned to the blond boy. Want to try it?
The boy was sipping his soda. A surprised look crossed his face.
OK, sure.
Matt felt a twinge of guilt about leaving the other boys, until
he saw a houseparent approach them. The blonds eyes glowed
the the attention and presence of an adult. Jane demonstrated the
dance, which was sort of a square dance. It involved passing your
partner several times. Each time he did the boy lit up like a
lightbulb.
The dance was rather energetic, and when it ended, Matt decided
to sit down again. He returned to the place where be had been
sitting, and the blond followed him.
That was fun, Matt said to him in an attempt to
strike up a conversation.
Yeah, the boy replied in a piping voice.
Then, two other residents passed by the bleachers. One was a huge
African American of about fourteen. The other was Hispanic and
about the same age.
New boyfriend? The Hispanic boy directed his question
to the blond. Hes cute, he lisped.
The two laughed boisterously and walked away before Matt could
say anything.
The blond looked at his feet, and looked extremely hurt. He
looked as if he were blinking back tears. Matts heart went
out to him; he knew exactly how he felt. Matt was about to put a
reassuring hand on his back when all of a sudden, he jumped up
and left the gym.
Matt, cmon, Lamar tugged at his forearm.
We wanna do this.
Where are we going? Matt said swinging his head
around the gym in a vain effort to try to spot the blond boy.
Were going to do this dance. Ma Peggy had to go
somewhere.
With the three boys pulling him, he returned to the dance floor.
Now he felt a twinge of guilt about leaving the blond. He
continued to glance around the gym to spot the boy. He thought
about following him, but then he remembered how carefully
controlled access to other buildings was for visitors.
The three boys eventually seemed to lose interest, and Matt
spotted Bill.
Ive been so busy, Bill apologized, as he mopped
his brow with a paper napkin. That PA system is so old, it has
Thomas Edisons signature on it. I need a break. Lets
go sit down at one of the tables, he suggested.
Except for an older couple at the other end of the table, they
were relatively empty at the moment. Matt and Bill cleared a spot
of the half-empty pop cans and half-eaten cookies.
Feels so good to sit down, Bill said as he slumped
into a chair. I see youve met Brian.
Brian?
Brian Kowalski. The kid I was telling you about.
It made sense. The young man had been a blip on the
gaydar.
Nice kid, Matt commented.
Great kid. Bill countered.
Bill.....I saw some of the other kids teasing him. I
dont mean to interfere, but I think you should know.
Bills eyes looked troubled. I dont think anyone
else knows, yet. As far as I know, Im the only one
hes told. He took a sip of his Dr. Pepper. I
think they were teasing him because Brian sort of marches to a
different drummer. Hes not exactly a team player, and the
other kids single him out because of this. He sort of marches to
his own drum. He has a small set of friends, and he tends to
stick to them.
Whats his background?
I think I mentioned before that hes an orphan. One of
the few around here who is. His parents were older, and killed in
a car accident about nine months ago. He stayed with an older
sister, but got in trouble and they brought him here. Why
dont we plan on getting together to talk more about the
foster program?
Ok, Matt agreed. What does your schedule look
like over Memorial Day? Going anywhere special?
No, Im not. Why dont we have lunch on
Saturday?
Sounds good.
Just then, Matts three young friends reappeared, begging
that he dance with them again. Matt flashed a helpless smile to
Bill, and obliged them. He glanced quickly around the gym, but
couldnt see a trace of Brian.
Hot and sweaty, Matt dispensed with putting his jacket on. He
gave the three boys a quick hug before he walked out the gym. The
fog still swirled abound him as he strolled to his car.
His imagination had been stirred. His curiosity aroused. He could
do this. He really could do this.
Brian
Mike Rosen was one of the select chosen few that Brian hung
around with at St. Lukes. From Brians first day at
the institution, when Mike introduced himself after lunch, they
had been good friends. Mike was a very nerdy looking kid. He wore
thick glasses that enlarged his green eyes and make him look like
and owl. He was much smaller than the other boys; at thirteen he
was barely five feet tall. He had skinny arms and bony knees.
But, he was highly intelligent, and he earned the best grades in
school. He was musically talented and played the guitar and
clarinet in the school band. He had an amusing, dry, sarcastic
sense of humor. He was something for a mascot on campus - he once
referred to himself as The Family Pet. He was
fearless. He even stood up to Demetrius, whose evil temper and
menacing manner had earned him the nickname The Beast. And he was
about the best friend Brian ever had.
The Friday night of Memorial Day weekend found Trees cottage
empty except for four people: Mike and Brian, and Tom and Debbie
McIlvain. Tom worked a full time job off campus and he had Monday
off as well. They had also taken Tuesday off. They were looking
foreword to the weekend to get away from campus and do some
camping in Wisconsin.
The rest of the boys had already been picked up by natural
parents, foster parents or other relatives for the long weekend.
Their departure was delayed by the two boys who remained behind.
Brians sister Noreen would pick him up Saturday morning. No
one was coming for Mike, so he would stay at St. Lukes, but
would be consolidated into another cottage with the dozen or so
other boys who would be left.
Tom and Debbie delayed their departure until Saturday morning.
They had Tuesday off, anyway. Besides, out of all the boys in the
cottage, Mike and Brian were the most trustworthy and basically
maintenance-free. And they enjoyed their company.
By 7 PM, most of the boys had left campus for their weekend
visits. Tom and Debbie retreated into their suite to watch TV,
but left the door open so they could monitor activities. Brian
and Mike took a soccer ball to the grassy lawn and kicked it back
and forth aimlessly.
At 8 PM, it was too dark to see, so they suspended their soccer
game and went in to watch TV. They both sat on the beat-up couch
which was parallel to the TV set in the living room. No one else
was there to challenge their choice of programs, but there
wasnt much else on Friday nights. They settled for the
lineup of juvenile sitcoms on ABC.
Mike got up to use the restroom, and when he returned, he sat on
Brians right, so close that Brian could feel his warmth. He
leaned closer to Brian, and lay his head on Brians right
shoulder.
Brian was panic stricken. If anyone saw them together, even
Debbie or Tom, there would be hell to pay! But there were no
other boys in the cottage and the McIlvains were cool.
Armed with this reasonable thought, Brian draped his right arm
around Mike, The fingertips of his right hand rested on
Mikes ribs, which he could feel even through Mikes
shirt. When Mike chuckled at the sitcom, Brian could feel the
vibration of his body.
Brian felt the need to use the restroom after the next commercial
break. On the way back he also got them both cups of ice water,
which he carried into the living room and placed carefully on the
carpet in front of the sofa. Did Mike want to cuddle again? Brian
decided to test the waters. He sat at the very end of the couch.
What are you doing? Mike asked. Get back over
here.
Brian grinned and scooted back to his former position. The two
boys remained in the position until the news came on. They
didnt talk except for an occasional comment about the show
they were viewing. Brian felt totally comfortable and natural to
be on the couch with Mike.
Debbie startled them both. Ok, guys, its time to hit
the sack. Both boys almost went into orbit. They instantly
untangled themselves. Debbie had a talent for creeping up on the
boys; it gave her the advantage when her kids were doing
something they shouldnt be doing.
Debbie smiled. Lets go.
But, its not a school night, Mike protested.
The McIlvains had an ironclad rule that lights out was at 9:30 on
school nights and ten oclock on Friday and Saturday nights.
Ok, you guys can stay up another half hour, but thats
it.
Thanks, Debbie.
And if you tell the others that I let you stay up,
Ill disown you both. She chuckled at her own comment
and walked off.
Within ten minutes, however, Brian started to doze off. He knew
he couldnt fall asleep here. Tom would come out and shake
him awake. He never carried the boys to bed. Tom figured that
they were in junior high, and should know when they were tired.
It had happened to Brian once before, and Tom was not gentle when
he shook the boys.
Im going to bed, he told Mike.
OK. Im going to stay up.
Brian padded down the hall to his bedroom, removed his clothes,
except for his jockey shorts, and rolled under the covers.
Brian was about to fall asleep when Mike appeared in the doorway
to his bedroom. He looked ghostly due to his pale skin and white
jockey shorts.
Can I sleep in here? Mike asked.
Brian mumbled, I dont care. Brian rolled over
and continued to drift off. The last thing he was aware of was
Mike getting under the covers in the adjacent bed.
Brian woke up later that night and was immediately aware that
someone was in his bed. Mike was sound asleep and had an arm and
a leg draped over him. He was snoring softly. Brian noticed that
his small erection was pressed against his thigh. Brian had a set
of mixed emotions. He liked cuddling with Mike, and was pleased
that Mike wanted to do the same. But he also felt taken advantage
of. At least he could have asked when he came to sleep in his
bedroom!
Brian pushed Mike away, almost pushing him off the bed. It woke
the other boy up.
Go to your own bed, Brian said in a groggy, irritated
voice.
Mike did.
Matt
That Memorial Day, Matt had Friday night off as well as Saturday
and Sunday. He had to work Monday, Memorial Day, because the mall
was open and he was manager. Matt was salaried, but all the other
employees were hourly. That meant if the hourly employees worked
on a legal holiday when the mall was open, they were paid
time-and-a-half. For this reason, the company preferred its
managers to work on holidays when the store was open.
During the day on Friday, Tim had left a message on his answering
machine suggesting that they get together. Matt agreed and
invited him over for dinner on Friday night.
Matt lit the charcoal in the small grill he purchased a few days
before. By the time Tim arrived with a six pack of Miller, the
grill was ready.
They sat on the concrete steps of Matts back porch watching
the hamburgers cook. Their legs and biceps touched in a familiar
way. Condensation from the bottles of beer left wet rings on the
concrete.
Matt compared his sandal to Tims white and black Nike.
God, you have big feet.
Size thirteen, Tim said, somewhat embarrassed.
You know what they say about men with big feet.
The two men said little else, instead choosing to watch
Matts neighbors do the exact same thing. It seemed that
everyone else had decided to grill tonight. Chicago weather was
so unpredictable, it might snow on Monday. So Chicagoans knew to
do their grilling whenever the weather cooperated. A boy and a
girl tossed a Frisbee. Matt watched the clouds change shape;
white splotches against a blue sky. Matt felt relaxed, peaceful
and content.
When the hamburgers were done, they ate them at the breakfast bar
along with store bought potato salad and carrot sticks.
These are so good!
Matt shrugged. Theyre just store-bought patties. They
taste so good because they were grilled. Everything tastes
better. You could probably grill your size thirteen shoes and
they would taste good.
Youre a funny man, Tim said, poking him
playfully in the ribs.
Dont, Tim, Im ticklish.
You are, are you? Lets find out.
No, Tim, dont..... Matt leapt off his stool.
They faced each other and crouched down like wrestlers at the
beginning of a match. Matt scooted to the opposite side of the
dining room table. But , now he was trapped in the corner.
Ill get you! Tim shouted.
Matt tried to make a getaway, but Tim lunged for him. Tim had the
advantages of youth and muscle. Tim lunged and pinned him on the
living room floor. He sat on Matts midsection and began
tickling his ribs. Matt twisted, laughed and gasped for air.
Stop, Tim. He pounded his heels on the floor.
Stop!
With a great push, Matt caught Tim off balance and the younger
man fell to the floor. Tims head narrowly missed the coffee
table. They both lay on the floor, catching their breath for a
long moment.
You are such a big kid, sometimes.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
A little bit of both.
Tim propped himself up on one elbow. He placed his free hand on
Matts chest. Matt flinched, fearing that he would try to
tickle him again, but he didnt.
Hi there, Tim smiled at Matt.
Hi there, Matt returned the smile.
I love you.
Matt sighed. I think youre in love with the idea of
being in love. Matt was quiet for a moment. Tim, I
appreciate your persistence, but its just not
happening.
Tims smile vanished. Why? Is it me?
Matt put his arms behind his head. Yeah, to be honest, it
is. Listen to this and see how it sounds to you: A guy is engaged
to be married to a woman, and in the space of five months, breaks
off the engagement, and decides hes madly in love with a
guy ten years older than he is. Whats wrong with this
picture?
I thought you would understand.
Im trying to understand. Help me understand.
Tim sat up and wrapped his arms around his knees. I never
had sex with her.
With who? With Rosie?
Yeah. He paused and looked away. Im a
virgin with women.
Matt was incredulous. You are a virgin with women and you
were engaged to get married? This is getting crazier by the
minute. Why, Tim, why?
I just....couldnt take it anymore.
Take what?
The pressure. From my dad, my mom, especially my mom.
When are you getting married? Why arent you married
like your brothers and sisters?
So you were going to get married just to stop the
questions? Thats an easy way out. Can you imagine how used
Rosie must feel?
Rosie and I have known each other since grade school.
And thats supposed to make it better?
She knew what she was getting into.
Thats not the issue, Tim. Matts voice was
rising. You used her so you could avoid pressure
from your parents.
Fuck you! Tim burst out. You dont know
anything about it.
I dont know? Matt was trying to keep his
temper under control. I know all about rejection, coming
out to parents. I got a PhD in rejection, buddy. And I have a few
years experience on you.
Tim didnt respond right away. He was still sitting on the
floor with his knees pulled to his chest and his arms wrapped
around them. He put his forehead down on his knees. Neither of
them spoke for a long minute. Matt heard the younger man gasping.
Matt realized he was crying.
Matt stood up to get a box of tissues, and on the way back, he
turned on the stereo. It would be so easy to give in. There
was something so poignant about such a virile man crying; almost
endearing. He handed Tim the box. Tim took it, and wiped his eyes
and nose. Matt sat down on the floor again, this time with his
back against the couch.
Im sorry, Tim. He reached over and touched his
arm.
Im sorry, too. Tim scooted over and positioned
himself between Matts legs, with his back resting against
Matts chest. Matt wrapped his arms around his torso. He
could smell Tims cologne. It was Drakkar Noir. The stereo
was tuned to WKQX and With or Without You by U2 came on.
It was a few years old, already. Its was weepy and romantic
and only Bono could do the tune justice. They listened
worldlessly to the music for a few moments.
Im afraid, too, Matt finally spoke again.
Im afraid that Ill end up like Rosie. That one
day, youll wake up and decide that this isnt for you,
and youll be gone.
Ive never been so in love with anyone in my
life.
You say that, Tim, but I can only judge by your actions.
And your actions up to now havent been encouraging.
Matt paused. I dont want to get hurt, again. I spent
seven years with Andy and the breakup was not pretty. Ive
been single for about two years, and Im enjoying it. So, I
guess I have things to deal with, too.
Tim chuckled. So, we both have issues.
Tim, I like you and I care about you. But you have to start
coming out. Its one of the prerequisites. Youll start
liking yourself a lot more, too.
How do you do that?
Matt laughed. If I had that answer, Id write a book
and be a millionaire. He whispered in Matts ear.
But Im your friend and Ill help and support you
whenever I can.
Thanks for all your feedback! It has been very helpful to know that there are others that enjoy a good love story! Keep your comments coming! Drop me a line: mailto: archer@gtemail.net
AOL users seem to have a problem with this address, so here is another one to try: mailto: archerland@mailcity.com