Date: Thu, 28 Jun 2012 03:07:45 -0400 From: Jesse Jesse Subject: Being Seen, Pt 4 Hey guys. Thanks so much for all the kind words and compliments. With each story I become thoroughly involved and engrossed in, I try to take so time and answer a few questions emailed to me about the story. First, the story is fiction, though some of the characters are based upon real people in my life. The character of Seth is a combination of several crushes and love interests I've had through the years, but his physical appearance is based on one sole person. Secondly, no, I'm have not based the character of Jesse upon myself, except for namesake. Sadly enough, the some of the things you'll read in this chapter are based on some experiences of loved ones of mine, though I'm thankful to say not my own. I do have intentions for the story to continue as long as I can draw inspiration. Thirdly, though I prefer not to mention what state, because it is my home, let's just say that the story is based in a southern state, in a small town that truly is remarkably like unto the Mayberry we all know and love. Finally, someone asked me if I had written any other stories for Nifty. The answer is a definite yes, but not all of them made it past one or two chapters. I only put effort into a story as long as I find inspiration for its characters, so some of the stories are not really even worth reading. The one story that I am probably most proud of is "Matthew, My Love," in the high school directory. If you're into younger stuff, it's something you might want to check out. Again, thanks for the wonderful words of encouragement and compliments. Keep sending the feedback :) Sometimes it takes me a day or two to get more written, but I do have more in the works. Until then, Jesse BEING SEEN, Chapter 4 That summer spent with Seth was the happiest I could ever remember feeling. School came to a close a matter of weeks after our moving into the river house, and those lazy summer days were nothing but happiness. Each day brought some new adventure, so more exiting than others, and some simply the wonderful time spent swaying together in the hammock Seth had fastened between two of the massive willows that edged the riverbank. As I looked back at the short time we'd been together I was amazed at how rapidly my life had changed, and how it had most definitely changed for the better. But as the old saying goes, nothing lasts forever, and I was to be awakened early one morning in the late summer by another farmhand pounding on the door with tragic news; Grandpa was gone. I'd known for years that Gramps had fought with high blood pressure and other heart problems, but even as I listened to the farmhand's explanation, it seemed so surreal. Besides Seth, Grandpa had been my rock, the one person in the world who I knew I could always depend on, and now that rock was gone. Those days flew by, seeming to blur together in a haze of tears and hugs from relatives I'd not seen in years. Before my mind truly had time to process the reality of what was taking place I found myself standing beside Grandma at the graveside service. It was during this tragedy that I lost any feelings of tenderness that had lingered for my parents. Though I'd tried my damnedest to see their opinions and feelings during their not-so-private divorce battle, it was the fact that neither of them could even be bothered to attend my grandfather's funeral that caused me to seethe with rage. This man had provided everything for my father, a home, food, education; LOVE. Love, though my father had worked a steady job all my life, and I'd never wanted for material possessions, love was something I couldn't honestly say my father had provided these last few years, but to do something so cruel and heartless as this! Indeed, more than once I'd been forced to lie to my grandmother and make excuses that "perhaps that's Dad over there, talking to so-n-so," or "maybe they're just running late." But Grandma knew. Though she battled the early stages of Alzheimer's disease daily, she still retained enough of her sharp wit to know the face of her only child, or the lack thereof. And it was Grandma's wrath and anger toward my parents that severed the final ties between me and my parents, and any possibility of our reconnecting. Just a matter of days after Grandpa's funeral Grandma called me up to the main house, her features stern and determined. "Jesse I need to talk to you about something important, something I feel must be done. I need to talk to you about your grandfather's and my will." Of all things I'd expected Grandma to say, this most definitely was not one of them, but I remained silent so she could explain. "Jesse I know what I'm about to say will probably upset you to a certain degree, but you must understand that what I'm about to tell you is not only my wishes, but were your grandfather's final wishes as well............I've spoken with Mr. Harris, our lawyer, and we've seen to it that everything left after my passing shall be willed solely to you............" I sat as still as stone, shocked at Grandma's words. What was there to say in response to something like this? "Grandma are you sure about this? I mean, I know Dad's been acting kind selfish lately, but........" "Jesse your father has been acting like a prime jackass lately, and you know it! I don't care if I live another 100 years, I'll never forgive him for not even bothering to attend his own father's funeral! Do you know that's why I was so upset? It felt as though my heart was being torn from my chest when I found your grandpa, but to stand in that funeral home without our only son, our only child, standing next to me, do you know how that made me feel? Jesse 'family' don't act like that. Of all people, you should know that. Your father and mother have put you through hell these last few months! Well, if your father doesn't want to act like a part of this family any more, then he'll not be treated like a part of this family. For the last several months the only person who's bothered to call, visit, who's bothered to give a damn about your grandfather and I, period, has been you and Seth!" I sat in the antique chair across from Grandma, shocked at the language spewing from this most genteel of elderly ladies, but still understanding and sympathizing with her broken heart. "Gram, I don't blame you for how you feel, and of all people, I do know how you feel, but don't you think I'm a little young for all this? Hell, I'm only 16. I've not even graduated high school yet. How can I run a farm, let alone the lumber mill! Who will I get to help me with this?" Grandma smiled a wry smile. "Why don't you wait until I've kicked the bucket before worrying about that? You're acting as though I'll be gone before teatime! Besides, all the family business has been overseen by Jeb Carpenter for years now. Your grandfather was much too old to be worrying with things like that! I just need you to know how your grandfather and I both felt, and that you needn't worry about living here when I pass on. You'll always have a home here." As I said, Grandma's announcement of her decision to change her and Grandpa's will severed any friendly ties between myself and my parents. To say that my dad didn't take the news well would be as much an understatement as saying that Hitler was just a naughty boy. Never in my life, even after seeing and hearing all the rows he and Mom had had through the years, had I ever seen my father that furious. Seth and I waited on eggshells for a week, holding our breath for the time when Dad would find out about Grandma's decision. After a full week had passed, we were beginning to relax ever so slightly, but it was that very evening that the black sports car my dad had been driving the last several months came barreling down the dusty road toward the river house. From the second my dad's purple-red face came into clear view I knew that he'd not come for a friendly visit. I tried to smile as he scooted to a halt in front of the house, barely missing the taillight of Seth's truck, but was met with anything but a smile in return. "Hey Dad. How are....." "Don't you dare try to sweet-talk me, you little shit! I can't believe you'd pull something like this on me, your own father!" From the corner of my eye I saw Seth begin making his way between me and Dad. He extended a hand as he stepped up. "Mr. Deyton I'm Seth, workhand for your parents. I don't think Jesse knew any more about this than you, sir, until your mother called him to the house the other day. He was as shocked about this as you." But Dad was not to be swayed or persuaded, and turned his railing toward Seth. "Don't you dare try to take up for this little bastard! He's already mooched enough from what should have been mine, living here after giving his sob-stories to my parents!" Though I distinctly saw the corners of his mouth harden, Seth trained his face to remain calm. "Mr. Deyton don't you think that's being a bit unfair? I mean, your son's been through a lot, what with your and your wife's separation and all. He just wanted somewhere to be to himself for a while. As a matter of fact, if I remember correctly, it was your father's idea he stay here to begin with." "Oh, bullshit! This little piece of work's always been a little whiney bitch! He's just like his mother, just as selfish and self-centered." Nothing short of thunder rose in Seth's voice as he replied. "All right, now that's just about enough. Now I've spent most of the summer with Jesse, because your parents were worried about him living here by himself, but during that time I've grown to see just what a wonderful person he is. He's kind, unselfish, which is a hell of a lot more than I can say for you. He's constantly checking in on your parents. Where've you been these last few months? Every rumor I've heard has been saying you've been off with some slut from work! Where were you during your father's funeral? What was so damned important that you couldn't even bother to be there for your mother? Jesse may be like his mother, like you say, but if he is, he's a hell of a lot better for not being a damned thing like you!" I could see it in my father's eyes, the rage that lay beneath the publicly quite disposition. I reached my hand out and began tugging on Seth's sleeve. "Seth come in the house. It's not that big of a deal. Let's just....." "Oh, but that's where you're wrong, sonny-boy! You're not gonna take this land and money away from me. I'll see the whole place burned off the face of the earth before I'll allow that! You're gonna sign these papers I've got here, stating that you contest the will in my name, and that you wish for everything to revert back to me, or I'm gonna fucking beat your little queer face in!" It happened in an instant. Those last threatening words had been the final straw, and before I'd had time to cry out or protest, Seth had my father pinned against the hood of his car, his eyes flashing and fury etched in his every feature. "You listen to me, you little selfish, cowardly bastard! You may rant and rave about wanting 'what's rightfully yours' all you want to, but the minute you lay a hand on him I'm gonna try my best to literally tear your head from your shoulders! How dare you! How dare you go for months without even bothering to call your own son to see if he was alive or dead, then not even fucking bother to show up at your own father's funeral, and then come screaming in your own son's face about getting what you think you deserve! How dare you! I'll tell you what you deserve; if it wasn't for Jesse, you deserve me to stick that .44 I've got under the seat of my truck to your head and pull the trigger, or at the very least, for me to stomp your ass all over this ground! That's what you deserve, you little prick!" I rushed to Seth's side, pulling desperately on his hands. "Seth he's not worth it!" I stood stunned for a moment at my own words. Had I actually just said that over my own father? It seemed this statement finally surprised Seth enough to revert his mind from its anger toward my dad. Finally I found my voice again and turned my attention toward my dad, the severity and sternness in my own voice surprising even me. "Did you even bother to ask Grandma about this? Did you even bother to find out that I, really and truly, did try to discourage her from doing this? No, you've not even talked to her. I can tell by that look on your face. Well, before you come charging into people's faces again, accusing them of all kinds of shit, maybe you'd better make sure you have all the facts. Now get out of here. Trust me when I say that what you did to Grandpa will come back to you. If you die tomorrow, I'll not be there to throw dirt over top of you!" My father stood rooted to the spot he stood on for a moment, a mixture of shock and even a hint of fear etched on his own face, as my words seemed to crash like thunder upon everyone around. "I said get out of here. I don't care what you try to persuade Grandma of. Take the land, if you can, but rest assured that you'll never hear from me again. I don't care if I have to live in a cardboard box, you will NEVER from me again!" Though he eyed Seth warily as he rounded the front of his car, it seemed my father had truly been shaken by my own words, words he'd realized that, by his own doing, were truthful and sincere. Seth came to my side, wrapping his arm around me as we watched my father drive away. "I'm proud of you, babe. You kept your cool much better than I did, and your words seemed to force your father to realize the truth of how he's acted much more than anything else. I think he finally realized just how he'd treated you and his family." "Well, I meant what I said. Though I am sad at the thoughts of our relationship being this far beyond repair, I don't have a desire to see him any more. All my parents can do is hurt the people they claim to love, and most of the time I'm the victim. I just can't take that any more. I'm gonna try to keep in touch with Mom, but I can't help but be a little worried at how she'll react to what Grandma's done as well." A few days later I decided to write my mom. Though I had been a bit closer to my mom through the years, I just didn't think I could bring myself to speak directly to her. It was odd how I found myself feeling more like a stranger to my parents, and they to me, than a family, but what was oddest of all was the fact that my heart didn't hurt at this realization any more, especially with the way things had turned out with my dad. We had gone our separate ways, and that was going to be the way life was. So with this in mind, I began trying to think of what I wanted to say to Mom, hoping to keep in touch with her. Mom, How are you? I hope you're doing okay. I'm sorry I've not called, but I've just not been able to think of what to say, and plus I do get really lousy reception here. I'm fine, staying busy around the farm. I guess you've heard by now that Grandpa died. Grandma's okay, but she misses him terribly. I missed seeing you and Dad there, at Grandpa's funeral, but maybe you had reasons for not being there. Mom, I hope you and I can still stay in touch with each other. Dad's made it pretty clear that, since Grandma has changed her will to see to it that everything is bequeathed to me, he wants nothing else to do with me. We finally had it out the other afternoon. I think we both said some things we shouldn't have, and perhaps, some day when we've both had time to heal our wounds, we can repair the damage. Right now I just need to be away from him, but I would really love to hear from you. I want you to know that I love you and miss you. Love, Jesse It was only two days before I found a reply in the mailbox. Though it was a short reply, the volumes that it spoke told me everything I needed to know. RETURN TO SENDER PS: Since I'm am no longer considered family, I guess I no longer have a son either. When you can do what's right by your father and I, and not be so selfish, then we can talk.