Date: Wed, 11 Jul 2012 18:29:50 -0400 From: Jesse Jesse Subject: Being Seen Pt 5 Though for several weeks my heart ached almost unbearably at the letter from my mother, those lazy days of late-summer were the happiest I could remember. There was the occasional meeting with Jeb for reports on the financial earnings and situations of all my grandparents' assets, but most of those last weeks were carefree days of horse riding with Seth, working around "our home" as we'd began to call it, and endless hours of simply being together that soon faded into the brisk, foggy mornings of early autumn. Gradually the southern humidity gave way to the dry, cook air of Fall, and one by one the trees began putting on a spectacular show of color until the river house was surrounded by brilliant yellow poplars, crimson maples, and burgundy oaks. Night upon night was spent wrapped together in a warm sleeping bag next to a fire in the yard as the "katydids" sang their soothing "ch...ch...ch..." song of Autumn. Pleasure and passion burned and smoldered within, and sometimes without, the confines of the sleeping bag during those crisp fall nights, and it was on one of those nights, Seth taking a drag from a rarely-smoked cigarette and my own heart still beating rapidly from a night well-spent, that Seth made a suggestion so far from expectation that I began to laugh. "Babe I've been thinking. How would you like to have your own train to drive?" I stared blankly at him as his intent eyes focused somewhere beyond where I could see. "What do you mean `have a train to drive?' We already have a share in the railway, but we can't drive it!" "You have a share in the railway. I'm just your hired hand." I felt a mischievous grin cross my face. "Oh really? I thought I gave the hand jobs, and you used other tools!" He chuckled bemusedly and pulled me quite suddenly and roughly into a deep kiss, but then grew serious again. "No, it's just that I've been thinking about some things that you've told me about when you were little. You said you loved trains, right?" "Yes, but what does that..." He drew me into another kiss, his eyes sparkling as he chuckled again. "If you'll listen, I'll tell you. Now, do you remember the other day when I drove over to Rawlings, over to the feed store to get some oats? Well, I saw an old friend of mine who works for Norfolk & Southern, and he told me that they have had an old steam engine donated to the shops, but they don't can't get the time or resources from corporate to restore it, so if something doesn't happen real quick, they're gonna have to scrap it. I've been thinking about that for a few days now, and I was wondering if you'd be interested in having your own steam train. You could use it on the shortline as a tourist excursion or something, or since your grandma's all but given you your inheritance already, you could have it brought to the farm!" I stared at him in disbelief for a moment, more from the fact that he was actually serious than what he was telling me. "You're serious about this, aren't you?" "Dead serious." "But where would I put a steam engine?" He took his last drag on his cigarette. "Well, there's another stall in the shop in town. You could clear it out and work on it there." "But how would I persuade the board to do it? I've only been to one meeting with Jeb since Grandma told me about the inheritance!" He smiled. "You and your grandma own the controlling share of the railway. I think they'll listen to you!" And so began what, for me, was the busiest week of my life, a week filled with no less that four meetings between myself and board of the railway, countless calls and a meeting between myself, Seth, his friend from Norfolk & Southern, and the shop chief from our tiny shortline railway to inspect the realistic condition of the locomotive, and one almost-nervous breakdown. But finally came that chilly Friday morning when an agreement could be reached between all the parties involved for the purchase and refitting of the locomotive for excursion use on our own tiny railway. At first Grandma was leery of such an expensive purchase, but when she saw the excited boyish look in Jeb's eye as well, she relented. "I'll grant my permission on one condition; ...Jesse has to be trained to drive this thing!" Everyone in the room could've fallen over at Grandma's statement. "Grandma I just want to be in the background. I'll be perfectly happy to be a grease-monkey and help work on the repairs. I never had any intentions of..." Grandma's eyes glistened as a few tears ran down her cheeks. "Jesse have I ever told you where your grandfather and I met? We met one day at the train station in Rawlings. Your grandfather was just a baggage boy then. I know you hear old fogies like us speak of such things all the time, but I loved your grandfather the moment I stepped down off the train and he took my hand to help me. When we looked at each other, oh! It was a magical feeling...the same feeling I see stirring between you and Seth." Jeb cleared his throat uncomfortably, I gasped, and Seth's face turned crimson. "What did you say Grandma?" "I said I can see the love between you two." I felt myself sway on the spot. Of all times, she'd realized the truth now! But her disappointment proved not to be from our being together. "Jesse did you really think you could hide this from me? I've seen the way you look at each other. Shoot, Jeb's even mentioned it! He came telling us the first day he came back from checking on you two that you were grinning like the Cheshire cat! I'm only hurt you didn't tell me before now!" Again I felt myself sway. My face burned crimson, but it the very realization that my grandmother knew about Seth and I that proved so overwhelming. Seth cleared his voice and stepped up. "Mrs. Jones if you feel I've been inappropriate with Jesse, I can understand if you wish me to leave. Hell, I would understand if you wanted to call the sheriff, him being so young and all, but..." "Oh, hush up boy! If I was upset, you'd have known it long before now!" I found myself chuckling despite my own shame at Seth's quelling under my grandmother's reproach. "Why would I be upset? His parents haven't hardly looked at him since the day he was born! He's had nothing but nannies and grandparents most of his life!" My tears and nod confirmed Grandma's truth as Seth looked at me. "Seth, honey, you've shown more concern to Jesse than anyone I know. You've shown more love to him than anyone I know, besides myself and his grandfather. You've not seen him for being his parents son, and see all this damned confusion and strife they're stirring up in town. You simply see Jesse for Jesse, and for that how could I ever be upset?" A tear trickled down Seth's cheek. "I love your grandson, Mrs. Jones." "I know you do. Why do you think I said what I said? Now, about this railroad business, Jesse your grandpa always, and I mean always, wanted to be an engineer. When I met him he was working his way up to become and conductor, and then to become and engineer. Jesse, baby, he never made his dream come true. He ended up buying this land and started working the timber for lumber, but you can make that dream!" Two withered hands cradled my chin, her eyes shimmering. "Baby you've always looked so much like your grandfather. If I see you up in the train, it'll be like looking at your grandfather. I want you, you hear me? I want you to be able to drive me on the first ride in that old piece of iron!" And so the slow, tedious work of overhauling the locomotive began. The final agreement for payment was made, and the rusty old engine was hauled to the empty shed of our own little shortline railway for refitting. The days were filled with dirt and grime, rust and oil, as we slowly dismantled the locomotive. The chilly late-autumn evenings transitioned from time spent around a fire in the yard to hours spent in the steaming water of the bathtub, Seth massaging my shoulders and nibbling my ears. Finally came the morning he'd been waiting for for months, the morning when he came bursting through the front door, waiving a letter he'd just received from the post office under my still-quite-asleep nose, and practically dancing a jig around our tiny kitchen. "He's coming! He's coming! Finally!" I stifled a yawn and tried to speak. "Who's coming? Who are you so excited about?" Seth's eyes twinkled and glistened from tears at the same time. "Ryan! Ryan's coming to visit!" A smiled crossed my face as I stared at the man in front of me. Finally, after all this time, my love was going to see his son! "When's he coming baby?" Seth studied the letter again. "Letter say's he'll be here day after tomorrow." Seth stopped suddenly, his face dropping dramatically from the smile it wore to a look of concern. "Jesse, I'm so sorry. Here I've been dancing around the room, when all this time I've not even bothered to see how you feel about this! Oh Jesse, I'm so sorry! I can take Ryan with me back up to the main house for the week, if you want." I felt tears forming in my eyes. Even when his own son was coming to stay with him, a son he'd not seen in months, he thought of me. "Baby how can I begrudge you this time with Ryan? You most definitely will not be staying at the main house with Grandma. You're going to bring Ryan right here to stay with us. How could I not want to meet the son I've heard so much about?" I smiled devilishly. "I wanna see if he's as hunky as his dad!" Two muscled arms practically crushed me as they wrapped around my waist, Seth's eyes streaming with tears. "Thank you Jesse." He crushed my lips with a deep, intent kiss. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?" "So what does Ryan like to eat? Anything we need to go grocery shopping for?" Seth waived a hand. "Nah, he's not that picky. Anything Dad likes, he likes!" His eyes sparkled as he made this last statement. "He'll probably wanna spend all his time with you. He tormented the last guy I dated, practically drove him insane with questions!" My heart fell to the floor. "The last guys?" Seth's face flashed from almost every know emotion, surprise, fear, panic, and when he answered his voice was practically a whisper. "Yes, the last guy."