Learning to love

Part 19

Frank's history lesson; Patrick is . . .?

[This story was fabricated and created by me, the author.
Any similarity to any real life situation,event, or person(s) is purely of coincidence.
Please do not distribute this story in any way, shape, part, or form without my expressed consent.]


Frank jumped out of the BMW and sprinted into his house. A few moments later, he came running back out with a sports bag in his hands. He got back into the car and my father drove on to our house. I continued to have serious reservations about starting any kind of sexual relationship amongst the three of us; I didn't want to share Tommy with anyone. I had told Tommy before I even asked him to be my boyfriend, that I don't fuck around and I meant it. I looked at Tommy sitting next to me in the back seat, and he appeared to be thinking about something as well. When I looked at Frank, he wore a wide smile and had a sparkle in his eyes.

My father turned down the road that lead s to the front of our house and as he pulled up to the front, I was surprised to see Patrick sitting on the porch. Frank was also surprised, judging by his reaction of letting out a huge sigh. My father stopped and Connie opened her door and stepped out of the car. She leaned the seat forward and Frank, Tommy and I piled out of the back. I was watching Patrick, and he stood up from the seat he had taken on the steps to the house. I waved to him.

"Hey Patrick, good to see you again dude, but what are you doing here? I thought you had to get home to help your mom?" We walked up to join him on the porch while my father parked the car in the garage and Connie entered the house after saying hello to Patrick. Patrick looked at me and Tommy, and then he shyly looked up to Frank, who wasn't looking too pleased about the new arrival.

"Hi guys, um, well, when my dad picked me up and while we were driving home, I told him about you inviting me to come over and to spend the night. He asked me why I didn't accept, and I told him about the stuff I needed to help my mom with. Well, when we got home, he told my mom that you had invited me over and she insisted that she could do everything on her own, that I, I should come over." He looked at me with a bashful look, "That's if you still want to hang out? My dad's in the Ag office, so I can go home with him when he leaves." Just as he was finished asking me this, my father walked up on the porch. Patrick turned and greeted him. "Hello Mr. Stewart, how are you this evening?" My father frowned slightly at him.

"Patrick, you do not have to call me Mr. Stewart, and it sounds absolutely ridiculous coming from you anyway. Call me James, William or Billy but absolutely don't call me by my last name." My father smiled at him. It was my turn to frown, because my father had seemed so adamant with Patrick and yet, Frank was one of my best friends, and he still called my father Mr. Stewart.

"Oh, well, sorry Billy, but it's just that you're so much older than me, that it seems natural to address you like that. My mom told me to ask you when you were going to come over and visit. She said she hasn't seen you in a very long time and would like to meet Brent too." Patrick looked at me and smiled, then back to my father.

"Well, when you see her, tell her we will be by soon to say hello. I miss her too; we were close when we were kids. She's about all I have left anyway." My father gave one last smile for him; he opened the door and walked in the house. I look at Patrick.

"Well, of course I still want you to hang out with us. I was just surprised to see you here when we drove up. Why don't you run and tell your dad that you're going to stay and if he's ready to go, he can head home." I gave him a steady look, "And I hope this is the last time I have to keep repeating myself, you have a standing invitation any time you want to come over." Patrick smiled at me and looked at Tommy. Tommy gave him a smile in return. When he looked at Frank, his smile wavered a little and he blushed before taking off towards the Ag office.

"Well now isn't this just perfect!" Frank said in disgust. "I like Patrick, hell he's cute and everything, he even looks a little like you Brent; but we had plans for tonight. I'm not spilling my secrets in front of him." I gave Frank a look.

"Hey, I invited him along with you, and we thought he wasn't going to get to come, but now he has. I'm not going to tell him he can't stay; besides, I really do want him to hang out with us. He, he always seems like he's on the verge of saying something every time I see him and he knew my grandfather it seems, better than any of my other friends. I'm not going to have him think I changed my mind about us being friends. You'll just have to adjust to it and beat off in the bathroom if you get too frustrated." I smiled and chuckled at him. He gave me a vapid look, like he had no idea what beating off was.

Patrick came running back towards us from the direction of the Ag office. When he got close enough to see us well in the darkening twilight, he smiled and walked the remaining distance. I told everybody to come on in and we stopped in the kitchen to see if Connie had anything for us. She handed Tommy a plate with huge peanut-butter cookies on it, you could even see half peanuts cooked into them. He took it from her with a big grin. "You boy's need anything else, you'll have to fend for yourselves. I'm tired from all the activity today and I think I'll just go get comfortable." She walked up to me and gave me a kiss and a hug. Tommy got his too, as he maintained a firm grip on the plate of cookies. Frank she gave a quick hug and an admonishment to behave. Patrick was standing behind us, but Connie weeded him out and he got a hug and welcome again. After saying goodnight, she left the kitchen and we grabbed drinks from the frig and trooped up to my rooms.

Tommy set the cookies on the table in front of the sofa and declared his want of a shower before anything else. I gave him a frown and he returned a wink, walking into my bedroom. Patrick was looking around in awe and Frank dropped his bag and plopped down on the sofa. "All right, so we'll wait on sticky ass to finish his shower, then we can decide what games we want to play. Patrick, I also have a lot of DVD's, so if you want to look through them to see if there is anything you want to watch, just act like this is your rooms and explore." I said and walked around until I could see Frank. "And you already know you're welcome to check out anything you want." I told him. I turned to Patrick and saw him looking at the two of us.

"Um, Brent, is there someplace we can talk for just a minute? I need to tell you something, if it's all right?" He looked at Frank watching him and blushed. I raised an eyebrow at his request, but he just returned his gaze to me.

"Sure Patrick, we can go into my study if you need some privacy, but I hope it's not more assurance you need that it's all right for you to be here." He just restated that he needed to tell me something and I told Frank we'd be right back, leading Patrick into my study. When he was in the room, I closed the door and turned to look at him. He was standing in front of my desk, looking at the carpet. He had his hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts and what I would say was a blush on his cheeks, but maybe an effect of embarrassment. I walked over to stand closer to him. "So, what did you want to tell me?" I calmly asked him. I didn't have a clue as to what this was all about. He shuffled his feet and eventually looked up at me.

"Brent, you don't know how much I want us to be friends. I don't have any other relatives my own age around. All my other cousins are older than me, or a lot younger. I spend so much time alone that I feel like a bat hiding in a cave. I, I don't have many friends at school, not that people don't like me, it's just that I feel different from everybody else." He took a quick look down at the carpet and then back to me. This time his look was direct and deep into my watching eyes. "I don't think I could tell anyone else this, but since we're cousins and all, I think I can tell you." He began to speak again.

"Whoa, wait a minute!" I said. "What do you mean we're cousins?" Cousins, we're cousins? How can that be?, I thought. Patrick was now frowning at me.

"I, I thought you knew we were cousins? Your dad and my mom are first cousins. We're second cousins. Your grandfather was really my grand-uncle." When he finished, something came over me and I gabbed him and kissed him right on the lips. I held him tight to me as I kissed him. I broke the kiss and looked at him. Even with the stunned look on his face, he was smiling.

"We're cousins! I have a cousin!" I yelled and grabbed him into another hug. I felt tears forming in my eyes and I just kept holding Patrick. How could my father not tell me I had a cousin, or even cousin's living here in Beulah and so CLOSE? I pushed Patrick back from me and just stared at him. He stared back at me and now he had tears in his eyes too. "Oh my god Patrick! Do you know how happy I am that we're cousins? I love you dude! We're not going to be just friends, we're...damn it we're blood!" I pulled him close to me again. I just couldn't seem to keep my hands off of him. He was mine! My very own cousin! I never had anyone related to me other than my parents in my life. Here was Patrick, my same age, going to the same school I did and living so close to me. I had so many questions for him and I wanted to tell him everything about me. I wanted...I wanted to never let him go! Patrick was the one to bring me back to a seeming of normalcy. He broke our hug and kind of pushed me back. He had tears freely falling from his eyes, but a look of apprehension had replaced the earlier smile.

"Brent, I, I don't know what to say. I really thought you knew, but that's not what I wanted to tell you." He dropped his hands to his sides as I looked at him, confused. "I don't know how to tell you this now, but I have too! I have to tell someone or it will eat me up." He looked me in the eyes again. "I hope I don't disgust you and that you still want to have me around, but Brent...I'm...I like guys Brent!" He jerked back like he had expected me to punch him or something. I looked at him and just shook my head. I didn't have gaydar, but I had a fucking gay magnet somewhere in my body, I thought. So far, I have attracted every gay guy I've met in this town to me, like I had a lodestone in my pocket. I even attracted confused guys like Frank. I smiled at Patrick, and probably far beyond what he expected of me from his revelation, I grabbed him and kissed him again. I broke the kiss and pushed him back.

"I'm gay Patrick. Tommy is my boyfriend and I love him. He loves me too. He's been my boyfriend since the second day of school." Patrick took this news by literally dropping back onto my desk. He was stunned. I grinned at him. "So, now that is out-of-the-way and you don't need to worry about it." He blinked at me and shook his head to clear it, I'm sure.

"You're, you're gay?" He asked in total disbelief. "You're the straightest acting guy I've ever seen!" His eyes suddenly snapped open wide. "Is, is Frank gay?" I couldn't help but laugh at the wanton look on his face. He was almost pleading with his eyes. It then clicked with me. The whole afternoon at Tommy's, Patrick had stuck by my side and every time I saw him look at Frank, he was blushing. He had hung on every word Frank had said. "Is he Brent?" Patrick asked again.

"Seriously, I don't know what Frank is." I told him. "He has me confused, but he'll have to tell you or you find out for yourself. He's my best friend and I'm not comfortable telling any of his secrets or what I might think about him." I pulled him off the desk and hugged him. "Patrick, we're cousins, dude! I'm so fucking happy about that! And we're both gay too! How awesome is that?" I released him. "Now we better get out of here, unless you have something else to tell me, and it better not be that you want to get into my pants!" I laughed.

"If you we're my cousin Brent, you would be right up there with my fantasies about Frank." He flinched and blushed, bright red. I laughed.

"Well. You're as cute as they come Patrick, and you know what? I think we even look a little like each other." I took a close look at him and we did share a lot of similar features. His eyes weren't green like mine, and his hair was a lot blonder than mine, but the shape of his face and his nose, well, we were a close match there. He looked at me and frowned a little.

"Maybe a little, but if I looked like you, I would kiss my mom and dad for the rest of my life and thank them for it." He laughed. After another shared hug, I decided we needed to get back to the game room. I put my arm around his shoulder and opened the study room door. If I had walked right out, I would have run over a stunned Frank. He was almost in the door frame, he was so close. He looked at me and then Patrick. Well, he didn't just look at Patrick, he stared. Patrick was almost as shocked as Frank appeared. I gave Frank a direct look.

"What the fuck Frank? Were you listening at the door?" I demanded. He didn't look at me, but kept staring at Patrick. Patrick had locked his eyes on the floor; he was blushing to the roots of his hair. "Well? Are you going to answer me, or just stand there like an idiot?" I tried to get a response out of him again. He finally broke his look at Patrick and focused on me.

"I, I'm sorry Brent, but, well, I was curious about what he wanted to tell you." Frank looked at Patrick again, and completely ignored me. He hesitantly reached out his hand and placed it under Patrick's chin and lifted until their eyes met. I stood watching the interchange of looks between the two. Frank searched Patrick's face and eyes. Patrick was locked in Frank's gaze and had a frightened look about him. Frank never removed his hand as he started answering me again. "I'm sorry, but I heard everything. I heard you say you were cousins and I also heard you tell him you were gay. I heard you say you fantasize about me and wonder if I were gay too." Well, that settled that. He wasn't talking to me, he was talking to Patrick. I just stood watching. Frank went silent and never stopped looking at Patrick. I saw Tommy come walking into the game room from the bedroom. He walked over to me, and stopped, looking from each of us to the other. He looked at Frank's hand under Patrick's chin and then directly at me.

"What the hell is going on? Did I miss something?" He asked me. I looked at him.

"Yeah, you missed a whole lot. First thing you missed is that Patrick and me are cousins!" I looked at Patrick, who was still snared by Frank's gaze, then back at Tommy. "The next thing you missed is Frank standing with his ear pressed to the study door, listening to Patrick and me talking in private. He heard everything we said, and the biggest thing he overheard was Patrick telling me he's gay and that he was attracted to Frank!" Tommy's expression was going through many changes as he looked between Frank and Patrick, locked in their own world, and then he looked back to me.

"Er, what?" He asked. I nodded to him and worked my way around Frank, grabbed Tommy by the arm, and moved him with me to the sofa. I guess I didn't to go slower with Tommy, I thought, as we sat on the sofa.

I stood there, just staring at Patrick. He was unique to me, because I had no tell tale sign that he was gay. My "gaydar" was not working on him. To me, he appeared a normal straight guy. Sure he had delicate features, but hell, he has to be only 14-years-old and almost all guys his age still seemed so young looking. The strangeness was as if some powerful force had grabbed me and took control of my senses.

In 7th grade I had conflicting feelings about what attracted me and to whom I was attracted. I was in the midst of full blown puberty, like most other 12-year-old's, but I had this extra something that went off in my head, confusing the whole process. I found myself attracted to girls, but even more attracted to guys. Everything about them, their faces: eyes, nose, mouth, and especially their smiles; their bodies: arms, legs, and the best parts of them, butt and packages. Being in athletics, I had a lot of chances to see guys in varying stages of undress in the locker room. I was mesmerized by the degree of differences I saw in size, development and how cocksure some of them acted.

Then it happened. My newly awakened sense locked on to one guy in-particular. Our eyes met across the locker room as I stared at him. We looked at each other for no more than a minute, but I knew, without a doubt, this guy was like me. He shared the same feelings I did. After school, I found him waiting for me by the flagpole. I knew who he was; I had grown up with him and even though he was older than I and in the 8th grade, we had been friends in elementary school. He was into sports as well, but I was hockey and he was football. I walked over to him and said hello.

"Hey Frank, how's it going man? I, I haven't seen you around much since I started middle school last year." His eyes started at the top of my head and scanned me from head to toe. "Wow, you look like you've been working out, a lot! You're even bigger than me." He gave me a big smile that caused me to inhale sharply.

"Yeah, well, going to different schools for a year kind of knocked me out of the group we both ran around with in elementary." I took a good look at him and noticed the huge differences a single year had made on him. He was taller, his voice had started to mature a little more, and his body was perfect in the jeans and t-shirt he was wearing. "Um, I have been working out every day. I need to stay in shape for hockey, it's a rough game and I don't like being pushed around on the ice." He nodded to me and then we just gazed at each other. Finally, I broke the eye contact. "Uh, I better get going." I said. "My dad is probably wondering what I'm doing just standing here like an idiot." I looked out to the parking lot, and indeed, I could see my dad drumming his fingers on the steering wheel of his car.

"Yeah, I better get going too. But hey, now that you're in middle school, why don't we hang out more? I, I've missed all the fun we used to have together." I looked at him.

"That would be cool." A big smile formed on his face at my reply. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Cool, we can have lunch together. Uh, Frank, I meant what I said; I really have missed having you around." He looked directly into my eyes and said. The new sense I had acquired went on overload and almost made me dizzy.

"I, I've really missed you too Bobby. I hope we can connect again." I guess my dad's patience had finally worn off, I heard him sound the horn. "I gotta go." We both said goodbye and I ran to the car and jumped in.

Over the next several days, Bobby and I started spending more and more time together, practically every moment of our free time in school, and eventually he invited me over to his house. Being able to talk freely and with the privacy of being alone together in his bedroom, we each confessed our attraction for the other and from that day, we were hooked. I had only imagined what having sex would be like. Exploring all these feelings and acting on every desire, Bobby and I were consumed with each other. Weeks went by and I thought I had found someone that I had only dreamed about in my most closely guarded fantasies. He was everything and more. Then my world shattered.

Bobby told me one day after school that he had a lot of stuff his dad wanted him to do around the house. He didn't think he would get it all finished before dark, so we were going to have to get together another day. I noticed that he was spending a lot of time having to do extra chores for his parents, cutting into the amount of time we had with each other. I had also seen him talking alone, or together, with Shane Ritter, and Shane's brother, Matt, both of whom set off that sense in my head. We parted and as I walked to my bike, I decided I would go home and later ride over to Bobby's house and help him finish his chores. It had been a few days since we had some time alone, and I was missing that time.

I did whatever chores my father had left for me when I got home,and then I jumped on my bike and rode it to Bobby's house. I had been to his house so much, that his mom and dad treated me as part of the family, so when I got there, I just opened the front door and walked in. No one was in the living room, so I just decided to see if Bobby was in his room. I walked down the hall and when I got to his bedroom, the door was closed, but it wasn't silent. I heard voices, or more pointedly, I heard moans coming through the door, and it wasn't the sound one person moaning, but several. I opened the door and there in front of me was Bobby, Shane and Matt. All three was completely nude. Shane was sucking Bobby's dick. Bobby was sucking Matt's dick, and Matt's mouth was latched onto his own brother's cock. Only seconds passed for me to take in this scene, and then I exploded into the room like a wild man. Shane and his brother managed to subdue me, otherwise, I think I would have seriously hurt Bobby. I left his house that day and had issued a warning to all three. They were to watch their backs and watched what they said or did, concerning me, or any of my friends.

As the months passed after this incident, I locked up the feelings I had shared with Bobby and concentrated on school and sports. Bobby avoided me like the plague, as did Shane and Matt. I met and started going out with a few girls in my class and a few who were in the grade above me. My sense of other guys was still fully functional, but I ignored it for the more "normal" feelings I had for the opposite sex. The year passed and then the next. I never let myself be swayed again by what my cousin in Fargo called my "gaydar". It was only a part of who I was, and a part that didn't rule me. I was secure in my feelings and happy with my choices. I had lots of girlfriends and I enjoyed the time I spent with them and the sex I had with each.

And now here I am a junior in high school. One more year of school after this, and I'm off to college and to a whole new life. I'm popular, at the top of my game in hockey, and have a large crowd of people vying for my free time. It all comes crashing down on me when I see the new guy from California, as he walked up to the school building, with Tommy Weber. Brent Stewart didn't even see me watching him that first day, but I saw him and I saw his eyes. That single look, unknown to him, had captured me and torn away my firmly built facade. I wanted him, hell I lusted for him! The days that followed and the friendship I felt I forced upon him, turned into the best experience I've had to this point, and here I am, about to realize my ultimate fantasy with him and Tommy, yet I'm captured by the crystal blue eyes of this shy guy standing in front of me, his eyes locked on mine.

"All right you two! You've stood there looking at each other for over five minutes! Either punch one another, and get it over with, or get over here and let's talk!" lang=""> I said to Frank and Patrick. I had finished telling Tommy everything that Patrick had told me, and now I wanted to hear what Frank had to say. A minute more passed before Frank finally turned from staring at Patrick and looked at me. I grinned at him when I saw him blush.

"Uh, I, well." He stuttered. He looked around the game room and glanced back at Patrick, who had returned his own look back to the floor. Frank sighed and walked over towards Tommy and me. "It's kind of hot in here, isn't it?" He sheepishly said and smiled at me.

"It's about to get a lot hotter if you don't sit down and tell me what the fuck you were doing eavesdropping on Patrick and me. He outed himself to you and he didn't even know you were listening. That's a big problem, Frank!"

"Wait, uh, Brent, it's...it's all right." Patrick spoke up from the study door. "I, I don't mind." He looked at Frank as he came walking up to join the three of us by the sofa. "He, he knows you're gay and Tommy too, so I'm sure he wouldn't tell anyone about me."

"Of course I'm not going to tell anyone! Fuck it! Sit down Patrick, over there with Brent and Tommy; I have something to tell all of you." Patrick's eyes climbed into his hairline at the forceful tone in Frank's demand, but meekly came and sat next to me, as I made room for him on the sofa. For the next 20 minutes or so, Frank told us about everything that happened to him in middle school and the biggest revelation, his broken relationship with Bobby Schafer. I thought back to my conversation at Bobby's house, when my father and I had gone to see how he was after the fight in school. I recalled Bobby mentioned that there was some history between him and Frank, but it never occurred to me to ask him more about it. Frank had also told me to let him know if any of the three of them, Bobby, Shane, or Matt ever bothered me and to watch out for them. I was shocked, but then I got another shock when Patrick spoke up.

"I'd never do something like that to you Frank." He was intense in his declaration. "How could anyone even think about being with someone else, if they had you? They, they would have to be mental to even consider it!" He proclaimed and then blushed as red as the stripes on an American flag. He had stood up from the sofa as he said this, and now dropped back down in his seat, as embarrassed seeming, as was possible, for a person to look. Frank sat down on the table in front of him.

"It's possible Patrick. Right now, I would do almost anything to have Brent and Tommy in any way they would let me have them." Patrick jerked his head up and looked at Frank and then turned his head to look at me. He frowned and looked at Frank again.

"He's in love with Tommy, and Tommy loves him Frank. They're boyfriends. You can't have them that way." Patrick was just full of surprises tonight, I thought. "It's not fair to them to have you wanting something they share only with each other. When you have a boyfriend, it's all or nothing Frank. You commit and don't cheat on one another." Frank and he locked eyes again. "Ever Frank, not ever. If all you want is to have sex, then you don't ask someone to be your boyfriend, you just fuck. You ask someone to be your boyfriend because you're in love with them." The blush drained out of Patrick's face and he took a deep breath. "I would ask you to be my boyfriend Frank, but I can't. You can't have a boyfriend if he doesn't feel the same way you do." All right, I admit it. I gasped and so did Tommy when Patrick said this to Frank. Tommy and I looked at each other. Patrick was absolutely right; you had to share the same feelings and absolutely had to be committed to each other to be boyfriends. Anything else would just be fucking. Frank made a sound and I looked away from Tommy to see what it was. There were tears in Frank's eyes as he looked at Patrick. He wiped at them and I saw him turn on the charm that had captivated me in the past. This time, it was directed at Patrick.

"Um, Patrick, how about you and I discuss this more, later?  I, I don't think of myself as being gay, but I know what I want more than anything else, even sex. I want what you just said, a relationship with whoever will really commit to me." He then looked at me and Tommy. "I want what you two have in a relationship, but I still want what's between your legs, because I'm not committed." He grinned at us and then looked sideways towards Patrick. "Not yet, that is."

Patrick blushed.



I hope you enjoyed this segment of Learning to Love.  If you would like to send me an email, you can send it to jmedinacorna@gmail.com. I really need to start wrapping this up.  My original intent of maybe four or five chapters, has grown beyond bounds and I have enough fodder built into it, to take it in so many directions.  The story's scope and intent of Brent's learning to love, has been accomplished, yet I keep going and going.  I'm going to wrap up LtoL and, If there's interest, do a break-away story that will have Frank as my focus.  The same character's will be present, but this time it will be told from the preception of Frank and his life, carrying forward from where I wrap LtoL up, with perhaps a little back story to tie together the two pieces and allow it to stand alone for readers who never glanced at LtoL.  I still enjoy writing and I really appreciate the support of my fans.  I just need to try a different direction.  I will, however, not short change LtoL and hope to wrap the story up, so that the reader doesn't feel cheated and left at a dead end.  But, not everything can have closure in LtoL and your imagination will need to spin it's own happy ever after or tragedy as the boys grow into adulthood.  In any case, let me know if there's interest in a "Frank" story and just wanted to give you a heads up about the wrap up of LtoL to come.  Thanks again for all the support and encouragement, you guys and gals (don't want to exclude my female fans) have been amazing with acceptance of my first ever writing.