Over At Marks

By Haggis

Disclaimer: The following story is true, and graphic. If you are offended by factual recollections of same sex love and intercourse, stop reading, click on the back arrow usually found at the top left of your screen and continue living your shallow self righteous life. If you are a minor, or it is illegal in your town/City/State/Province/or Country then you have an option, do as you should and stop reading and follow the previous instructions, or take a stand against the modern socialistic society and read on!

Previously in Over at Marks:

Eventually the day came when Justin and I were found by Jim. I was dreading this moment, because I knew he would be crushed when we told him we weren't going to have sex with him. He was upset and even cried telling us he loved us. We comforted him, and told him we still loved him, just that we had fallen in love with each other and could not bare to share with another. He understood that, and we told him we wanted to hang with him still if he did. It took a few weeks for Jim to actually get over it, and let us visit him. But, he got over it, and even found a new group of boys to fool around with.. But, I can say without feeling too vein that we made a hotter couple than his new boys did.

And Now:

Justin and I spent as much time as the summer could give us together, joint at the hip if you will. And then, as all great summers go, this one ended, and back to school we went. He went to the school on base, where I went to the local school 7 miles down the road. This started to complicate our relationship quite a bit, as now we were limited to weekend rendez-vous and the occasional week night passing high with our parents at the base PX or Commissary. It wasn't enough for either of us, and we over compensated when we did get together. It's amazing no one figured out that we were lovers the way we acted when we were together, with the long hugs and even longer good-byes.

Jim, on the other hand gave the base a real buzz in gossip when he was caught in a rather compromising position with a 12 year old in the base bowling alley bathroom. The last I heard they were shipping him back to the US for a court martial. I think they usually would do that kind of thing on the base where the offense was done, but the base I grew up at was actually 'owned' by the host country, secured by their police and the military personnel all wore civilian clothes. So, anything high profile like this was dealt with else where. I heard rumors that he was locked up, but you know how the rumor mill is. It was actually quite sad to see him go down like that. I suffered with a lot of guilt for not standing up for him, but I felt like I would only get him in even more trouble. He was a good person really, and I am sure I would not be here to tell this story had he not been in that bathroom that day watching me. He really saved my life, and gave me hope when there was only darkness looking me in the eyes. But, I am sure had I stepped forward it would have only really made things worse in the long run, and then I would have had to face my dad with the fact that I was gay, which I am sure he wasn't ready for. Thank god times have changed!

The school year was moving on, when my dad got a new job at another base overseas, and left to do that job. We were to follow after the end of the school year. This was the worst news I could imagine. I had found the person I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and I had to leave and more than likely never see him again.

It took me over two months after my dad left for me to get up the courage to tell Justin that I was leaving him probably for ever. When I did, I thought I had shot him, he just about fell over in shock, and then went through a series of reactions that make my skin crawl just remembering. First he told me that I wasn't funny, and to knock it off with the pranks, then he begged me to tell him it was a joke, followed by him kicking me out of his room (He actually told me to get the *#%@ out of his house, but I refused to leave.). I stood outside his room listening to him try not to cry. After a few minutes I went back in, and he was laying on his bed, with his back to me in almost the fetal position. I slowly sat on the edge of his bed, and leaned in hugging him from behind gently, yet reassuringly. I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. I had tears in my eyes too, it wasn't easy telling someone you love that you were going to be leaving soon, especially at the age of 14 now. At that age it is hard to understand what love is, but Justin and I had done things to each other that a lot of you readers have only fantasized about, and were more than just passing play mates with perks.. We had come together in a very mature way, and to be honest the previous year had matured me too much for my own good. As for Justin's maturity level, I am sure he was right there with me, although he had not been raped, he was right there with me in those photo sessions, and was involved in the same man boy love sessions that I had with Jim before I met Justin.

We found it hard to actually spend the last week together, it was obvious that we were avoiding the obvious good bye. I hate good byes, and obviously he did too. I called a few times before we left, but he was never 'available. I cried myself to sleep the last few nights, thinking I would never get to tell him that I will always love him the most, and that I would find him again one day. I was really quite irrational bout the whole thing, I started to get mad at my mother for letting my dad take the job, and I started having temper tantrums for no reason at all. I was a mess. The day came for us to leave, and I still had not seen Justin, I was so upset, that I refused to talk all day, and locked my door to my empty room refusing to leave. My dad had taken just about enough of this, and actually took the door off its hinges and came into my room and physically drug me out of the room, sitting me on the fence in front of the house asking me what this was all about. He had to drag it out of me, but I actually did very very quietly tell him that I had not been able to tell Justin good bye. He looked me in the eye, and told me he would take care of it and gave me a hug. I loved my dad, he always said the right thing and knew how to cheer me up when I needed it. But, I really thought to myself that there was nothing he could do to fix this one, and was just saying that trying to hang onto a father son bond that had really been broken by the perverted farmer across the road. I had grown into a man in the last year, and was finding it hard to get close to my father like I had before..

We all piled into the van, and drove away from that cold house for the last time. I didn't even walk across the street and say good bye to Mark, which I really do kind of regret. I have since checked on him, and hes doing rather well for himself in the navy. Instead of heading away from the base, dad turned the truck towards the main gate, and took us on base. I really wasn't paying too much attention, and had somewhat fallen into a daze of self pity and misery. It was only when we pulled into Justin's driveway that I snapped out of it. My dad flung open the van door and told me to come with him. He was at the front door of Justin's house when I made it out of the van, and Justin's mother answered the door. He asked if Justin was around to say good bye before we left, to which she called him down. My dad told me I had ten minutes to say good bye and turned and left in the van. Justin came down the stairs, saw me and I saw a single tear appear in his eye. I ran up to him, and span him around and pushed him back up the stairs to his room. He was full on crying now, asking me why I had come. I told him all the things I had been thinking about in the last few days about how I would find him again etc. He was quiet and listened, and when I was done he told me I was full of shit, and that I would have him replaced with some other hot boy within a year. I told him to shut up, and that he would always be the first and only true love in my heart. With that I closed the gap between us and kissed him our last kiss. I really wanted to taste his boy tool one more time, but we really didn't have time for that.

I heard my dad pull back into his driveway, and knew it was time to go. I looked at him one last time, and fought back tears as I said good bye. He was crying now, and that made it even harder to walk away. I contemplated just running out his back door, and disappearing so we didn't have to move, but that would just get me a beating I didn't need. I turned, and walked down the stairs to the front door, saying the old line from the movies.... Don't look back, never look back! And out the door I went. Dad asked me if I felt better, but I couldn't answer as I got in as I knew my voice wasn't going to work anyway. I was fighting my emotions, and speaking was just not an option.. As we backed out of the driveway, I looked at his house one last time, and saw him up in his bedroom window with tears rolling down his cheeks waving good bye. I lost it, tears flooded my face, and I waved back miming “I love you” to him with my face pressed against the window. My mother was looking at me with a “Poor thing” look on her face, and I think she almost cried. It was a 3 and a half hour drive to the new house, and I cried to myself most of the way there. I decided that life wasn't fair, and every time I find happiness it seems to be brutally taken away from me one way or another. I swore to do my best to never let myself get hurt again.

My parents for other reasons not told in this story decided to put me into a boarding school, that my friends is a completely different story of love and love lost.

Authors Note: Well, this is the last chapter in Over at Marks, and I hope you all have enjoyed the story, true as it is, I hope that anyone who has gone through the same or similar circumstances has found it within themselves to forgive the person that did it to them. I have held this in for 19 years, and it has burned me up pretty good emotionally and physically. Until I started writing this in the spring of 2004 I had told no one. That was pretty stupid looking back, but I didn't know any better. I can only hope that if anyone reading this has been raped within the last 5 years that they tell either a family member or the police. Keeping it inside will only screw up your life like mine was. Luckily I have found a special person recently that has made things easier for me to deal with, and has helped me very much with my healing process. Thanks Joe, and I hope I can do the same for you.

Questions or decent comments can be sent to Haggis7412@aol.com Please no flames, all others will be answered in a timely manner. Thanks to all those that have supported me through writing this story, this last chapter was hard for me to write. Again thanks Joe, I couldn't have done it without you.