Adam and the Alien
The human male can be effectively controlled using his libido. However, after the last day's events, Adam's libido was no longer quite in control of Adam. After multiple orgasms, his seminal vesicles were empty, his prostatic fluid drained, his libido satisfied and rather inactive. In other words, Adam could think straight again.
The now sexually sober Adam was not all too pleased with the events of the last evening, or the rest of the week for that matter. In fact, he was angrier than he had been for a very long time, and was actually punching the alien as he yelled at it — even though that resulted in more pain for him than for the alien. He was putting his foot down, telling the alien in no uncertain terms how their relationship was going to unfold.
He would have no more of the tease and denial nonsense. He would wear clothes in public, or in private, or whenever he liked. As long as he wasn't using trousers, the alien had no right to complain. The alien was not to get involved in his sexual life, or interfere with his relationships. He couldn't believe that the alien would risk his friendship with Brian like that, and he certainly wouldn't tolerate the alien interfering when he was meeting other people either. The alien should just shut up, mind its own business, and teach him all about the marvellous technologies and discoveries that it had promised. The alien had to show him some proper respect, or it could go back where it came from. All this he told the alien using words too strong to put into writing, punching and slapping the alien as he did so — the blinding pain in his balls did nothing to calm his mood. Eventually, the alien had to give in.
OK, fine! Fine! Have it your way then. Stupid human!
All right, all right, honourable sir and dearest partner of mine!
That's more like it, Adam said. He stumbled into the
kitchen. He needed some painkillers, and soon! Damn this alien,
squeezing his balls like that.
Once Adam had recovered somewhat from the painful argument with the alien, he was happy to find that the alien was now much better behaved. He put on his kilt and shirt, and went out to the supermarket. When he got home, he did not undress, but went about his business fully clad. The alien did not even complain. When he sat down to do some physics, he was delighted to find the alien more cooperative than ever, giving him more tips and advice and less puzzling questions. No taunting, no teasing, just plain helpful. He wrote up some of his main ideas in an e-mail to his supervisor. He went to bed feeling really happy with himself — and with the alien. He fell asleep almost immediately.
Ow, ow, ow, ow! Adam suddenly found himself wide awake, with
a lot of pain coming, not from his balls, but from his penis. The
alien was squeezing his penis so that it hurt, real bad, and was
also kind of pushing it into his body so that even the part of the
penis inside the body was hurting.
Stop it! he said, giving the alien a slap and receiving a
painful squeeze of the balls in return. The alien display
I'm not doing anything!
Yes, you are! said Adam.
You are squeezing me half to
No, I'm not. I've been this size all day. I haven't done anything!
Naturally. Nocturnal erections. That's why he was in pain.
You need to accommodate my erections, stupid!
No. You said no sexual teasing. You wanted me out of your sexual life. I'll keep my promise. I won't handle your erections.
But, but... That's not quite what I meant. I need to have my
I can't see any reason for you to ever have an erection. The primary reason for an erection would be to make offspring, but you can't do that while wearing me anyway. The secondary reason would be to nurture a sexual relationship with someone. Seeing that I'm the only someone who can ever touch your penis, and that you don't want a sexual relationship with me, there really is no reason for you to have erections.
Adam was too tired to come up with well thought-out arguments.
I need my erections!
No. There is plenty of evidence that the human male can live without erections. Many do, and you will too.
But, he tried, pleading with the alien,
can't we decide
this tomorrow? Can't I have an erection now? Please?
Accommodate me! he shouted, and slapping the alien.
once? Please? he added, wincing at the alien's retaliatory
It's not that easy. I don't control my size any more than you do. A lot of the decisions about my growth were made when I was conceived.
You had no problems with my erections before! There was plenty
And you did not grow pubic hairs before. When you were young, you didn't have these damned things. People grow, and so do aliens.
Stop growing so damned tight! I hate it!
Stop growing these damned hairs! I hate it!
Why would you suddenly grow so tight?
I don't know, really. I didn't make that decision. Probably the sheath grew stiff from disuse. Probably my parent didn't know if the sexual functionality would be useful, and arranged that it would grow away if it wasn't needed. What you told me probably played its role too, since I stopped feeling sexual about you.
OK, Adam said,
you win. I give up. You can have your way
with me. Now, can I please have back my erections?
No. Too late for that.
You are dead serious about this?
Yes. No more erections.
Adam didn't get much sleep that night. He might have managed one more hour, before he was again awakened with a very painful attempt at an erection. He had not completely given up hope though. Perhaps he would be able to talk the alien out of this madness somehow. Just give it a bit more time, and play nice for a while. He decided to stay naked that day, just to please the alien.
He had gotten a reply e-mail from his supervisor, Christopher.
Christopher was an experienced, somewhat eccentric man with a mild
temper — he only really got angry if people tried to call
Chris — which they did often enough to
give him a reputation as an irascible character to those who didn't
Working on your vacation? Christopher wrote,
You do know
that you're supposed to take the time off, right? He continued
by saying that Adam had found some interesting ideas, but that he
thought there was a no-go theorem that might forbid it all. He was
going to look that up. He didn't write what the no-go theorem was
What did he mean by that? Adam asked the alien, and the
alien busied itself by going on the Internet to find all no-go
theorems that were vaguely related to what they were proposing, and
then carefully explained to Adam why each and every one of them
wasn't applicable to the present problem.
Later that day, he tried again to solve his erection problem. He needed his erections, there was no way around that, but the alien wouldn't budge. Nothing he said seemed to make the slightest impression on the alien. Slowly he was coming to the conclusion that he might have to get rid of the alien. He didn't really want that, but if the choice was between living his old, normal life (with regular erections), and living with an alien having fabulous knowledge, but never ever having an erection again... On the one hand, it was almost a difficult choice, but on the other hand, the decision had been made for him through the process of evolution. His instincts had clear instructions for him. The trouble would be how to get rid of the alien without being castrated by it in the process.
When he woke that night, with the predictable penis pains, he actually gathered up his courage and asked the alien.
Where is your brain? He would need to knock out the alien,
somehow, before he started the separation.
It is distributed throughout my body, with several nerve centres both here and there.
Adam thought. That was not the best answer. Perhaps if he got help from the authorities, they might do an X-ray or something to determine how to prevent the alien from castrating him. But then again, the alien would realise what he was doing if he tried...
What are you thinking?
Oh, nothing, nothing at all, Adam said, his voice a little
higher than usual. The alien started squeezing his balls, building
up the pressure.
What are you thinking?
Adam hesitated, but the alien insisted, gradually increasing the pressure even more.
Which part of you controls the ball-squeezing? he asked.
Oh! I see.
He had said too much, he knew it. He feared the alien knew exactly what he was thinking. He shouldn't be holding this conversation in the middle of the night, when he was this tired. Now a being having a firm grip on his balls knew he was trying to figure out a way to kill it. He dreaded the response.
I think it is time to take this relationship to the next level.
The alien started moving, somehow unfolding, stretching itself up along his belly. The alien now covered him from the ribcage down to halfway down his thighs. It used to be just above his hips, now it suddenly claimed about six more inches. Something went inside his navel.
What the...? This was not at all what he had expected. Now
the alien was nibbling the skin inside his navel. He didn't like
AieeeeEEEEE! AAAAAAAAAA— he
screamed. And screamed. From pain, and from horror. The alien was
going inside him, through his navel. The part of the alien inside
him was growing in size, and it was moving around, and it was
causing him pain from places he hardly knew he had. It was like
keyhole surgery without anaesthetics, though in a surgery the
surgeon usually withdraws after the procedure. The alien was
putting something in place, and it was staying there. He thought
about parasites. Then the alien stopped, but Adam was
panicking. Panicking — and then he suddenly became very
tired. Impossibly tired, given all the pain and the horror, but
somehow, inexplicably, he found himself drifting off to sleep. A
deep and dreamless sleep.
He awoke hours later. His stomach hurt. His navel felt uncomfortably stretched, and inside him some alien organ was slowly pulsating. He felt violated. His penis tentatively tried its confines, but he was just as forcefully restricted as before. Even a half erection was quite impossible.
What just happened? Adam asked in a small voice.
have you done?
I've made sure that my death means your death. Among other things, I now have a venom vesicle inside you. You were punching me, taking painkillers and tried to identify what part of me is responsible for the squeezing. I needed to solidify my hold on you. Taking me off would kill me. Now it will also kill you.
I wouldn't have killed you. You would have castrated me if I
Would that matter to you, seeing that you can't have any erections anyway?
But the venom vesicle is not the only thing inside you now. I can also put you to sleep if you grow too violent, and that does seem to be necessary at times. Also, now I can take selected nutrients directly from your blood, to better aid my growth.
You're a blood-sucking parasite! Adam exclaimed.
never have gotten involved with you. You actually have organs
placed inside my body whose purpose it is to kill me! You cause me
plenty of pain, but if I hit you back you won't have it. How is
What the hell did you expect? Did you think you could just wear me for a while, while you were getting your precious knowledge, and then throw me out like some worn-out underwear? Did you think you could just play with me for a while, and then simply kill me once I'm not all that fun anymore? Is that how you treat other species — use them for your pleasure and then abandon them once the novelty wears off and the responsibilities set in?
In a symbiotic relationship you have responsibilities. If you die, I die. It is only fair that the converse should hold true. If I die, you die. It's as simple as that. You should keep me alive at all cost. Just as I will do my utmost to keep you alive.
The new organs I installed in your body are not there to kill you. They are there to keep us alive. I can give you adrenaline directly in the bloodstream if something is threatening us. I can give you stimulants if you need to stay awake — or put you to sleep. If you're bleeding I have a (limited) capacity to replenish your blood. Once my gills have developed fully, I can keep you alive under water. If your kidneys start malfunctioning, I can compensate. If your liver is overworked, I can assist. Tonight, I have probably added twenty years or more to your life expectancy.
You are gaining tremendously in this relationship, and it is time that you show me some proper respect.
There was no way out for Adam. He was going to live with the alien
until the end of his days. It wouldn't have been a bad deal, if he
could only have his sexual life back. As he was making some
breakfast, he thought longingly back to the time, only days ago,
when the alien would sexually tease him. He thought about how it
would force him to have sex with his best friend, Brian. He had put
a stop to that. He had told Brian that
what happened, didn't
happen, and if it did happen, it certainly wouldn't be happening
again, because it wasn't his thing at all. He had been punching
the alien, and put a stop to it all. Now, what wouldn't he do to
have it all back.
But the alien was adamant. There would be no more sex with the alien.
Like I said, I don't control my size. And I don't feel sexual about you anymore. The last time I gave you an orgasm, you beat me to a pulp. I'm not going to try that again in a hurry.
He thought back at what the alien had said. The primary reason for an erection would be to make offspring. Right. The secondary reason would be to nurture a sexual relationship with someone. Nurture a sexual relationship with someone... And then it came to him.
Brian, he whispered.
What about him?
You like Brian, don't you? You want Brian to like you.
Would it make sense to, ehm, he asked, hopefully.
nurture a sexual
relationship with Brian?
I know you're the only one who can handle my penis, but that does
not really stop a relationship with Brian, does it?
So having a sexual relationship with Brian would be good. Having
erections would be good for building a sexual relationship with
Brian. It would very much make sense for me to have erections
— even the sexual teasing would make sense, in that it would
make me desperate to see Brian again. You don't even have to give me
any orgasm, though I would highly appreciate it if you did. I
promise I won't get violent. And even if I do, you could always put
me to sleep with that new thing you placed inside my tummy. Let me
have erections again! For Brian's sake!
For Brian's sake...
Yes! Adam said hopefully.
I suppose it makes sense. I will allow erections, but only for Brian's sake. I may give you orgasms, but only when you're having sex with Brian, and not necessarily every time. If Brian agrees to this, it would still take me about a day to adjust to a sexual life again — assuming it is not too late already. With a little luck... Arrange a sexual meeting with Brian tomorrow. If you fail, it is best to forget the idea of a sexual life for you altogether.
Adam could hardly believe his luck. He had almost given up hope, almost succumbed to despair, and now there was hope — now there was a slight, glorious glimmer of hope. Perhaps he could have sex with Brian. He picked up his phone and called him.
Brian, could you come over here tomorrow? Adam asked.
No, actually, Brian said coolly,
I have some other plans
Look, Brian, forget all I said after we parted last time. I want
you to come tomorrow.
No, I have other plans.
Please, Brian, listen, Adam said desperately,
you. I want to have sex with you.
Right. You said last time that wasn't your thing at all.
Brian's tone was not entirely dismissive, but he wasn't agreeing
either. Adam decided to throw caution to the wind.
Look, Brian, I need to have sex with you. I need to
have sex with you tomorrow, or I will never have sex again. Heck,
the alien won't even let me have an erection ever again. The alien
loves you, and won't let me have sex with any other. It won't even
let me masturbate. I need you, and I need you bad. My sexual life
depends on it!
You know, said Brian,
that is kind of sexy. But I have
promised to visit my mother tomorrow, so it's not the right time
Brian, please, at least let me suck you off. I can be quick. I
can give you a blowjob in bed after you've visited your mother, I
can give you a blowjob in the car on the way there. I'll do
anything, if you just let me have sex with you.
I love it when you beg! Brian said, with enjoyment in his
Continue like that, and I might even consider it.
You've got to be kidding me!
If it's not to your taste, then fine. It's not the best time for
No, please! Adam said desparately.
I need you. Let me
have your cock. I crave it. I need it!
And if I do give it to you, you will rudely turn me away,
pretending this was not your thing.
No, no. I want you, I need you. You can have me whenever you
want. I'll never turn away from you again. And I will never cheat
on you either, because I have a chastity-enforcing alien encasing
I'm not promising monogamy, however. I can still fuck
whoever I want, right?
Yes, yes, of course. As long as I get to do it with you.
But it has to be on my terms, all right? You'll do
what I want, and cater to my sexual needs, got
Yes, yes, whatever you want!
And you will never masturbate? Brian asked incredulously.
No, the alien won't allow it. I'm utterly dependent on you for
Cool. But tell me, is this just because of the alien, or
do you actually want me yourself?
Ehm, Adam hesitated. He didn't want Brian to think this was
only the alien forcing him, because then he might not want to take
advantage of his best friend. On the other hand, he could hardly
deny the alien's instrumental role.
Let's just say that the alien
is helping me discover some new sides of my sexuality, unlocking and
enabling what was already there. I do want you, but I probably
wouldn't admit that if it weren't for the alien.
I'm considering... But you probably wouldn't want to.
Please, Brian, I'll do anything!
Then get some rope, the more the better. You've got a date
Great! Thanks, Brian. I owe you one!
You bet! See you!
It worked! He was going to have sex again. He may have come off looking way too desperate, but in truth he was desperate, and in the end it worked. The alien display beeped.
Good. But I need one more thing to rekindle the sexual flame. I need your total submission. I want you to be my boytoy, to do with whatever I please. Give up sexual control and independence, and show Brian a good time, and you've got yourself a deal.
I'm all yours, Adam said.