Chapter 10: Howls

“You're alive...”

My brother isn't just alive though. He's flourishing. In stature he's as big as Walid. He's just as hairy as Walid as well. His forearms and upper chest are springing with coarse manly hair. His actual hair has the usual Butler way. It falls down his back in springing curls much like India's did.

I feel like I'm seeing a ghost. My mouth is left open so long that the cold air enters it and dries it the fuck out.

“I survived the fight with Walid,” he said, “Real talk...I barely survived...but I survived. Mayorga nursed me back to life in the mountains...hiding me.”

Mayorga lied to me. He lied and said that Walid killed my brother. Why would he do such a thing?

I turn to Mayorga. The boy is handsome. I have to admit. I can see how my brother is attracted to him. Hell. I can see how my brother and Walid fought over him. He's attractive, quiet and masculine in his own way. As Qadir talks Mayorga shifts into the background. It's clear who the alpha is in this little group that they have.

“I can't believe it,” I can say.

“I had to protect him,” Mayorga replies, “I love...your brother. If Walid knew he was still alive he'd pursue us even harsher. The only reason Walid hasn't really killed me yet is because he has a soft spot for me...”

A soft spot? A little jealousy comes over me but I realize he's telling the truth. Walid has been very passive when it comes to finding Mayorga. God knows how Mayorga is hiding his scent. I'm assuming it's something the professor shows him. The professor is definitely knowledgeable about shit like that. Still...if Walid really wanted to find Mayorga he would have had his pack searching day and night.

Mayorga isn't my concern right now though. The ghost that is my brother is my concern.

“Qadir. I can't believe you're alive,” I say again.

That's the only thing that comes out of my mouth. All this time my brother has been alive. I'm stuck between happy and excited. I never had a great relationship with him but when I found out he was dead, it hurt me. I had all these regrets about not becoming closer to him. A part of me wanted to call my father right now. I didn't though. Half because I didn't think I would get signal and the other half of the reason was because I wasn't sure my father would react. My father has removed himself so much from what was going on in these mountains. He wasn't concerned.

“You don't sound so happy about that. You not going to give me a hug little brother?” Qadir asks.

I move forward, hestitating.

I always lived in Qadir's shadow. Now, I was literally in his shadow. He stands 6'3” with a solid bulky frame. His body is as big as the guy who played Thor. I wonder if all this time he's been 'dead' he was really hiding in the mountain lifting weights all day. Qadir was always big but the fact that he was Walid big now was a whole different story.

My voice is shaky, “I'm happy. Of course I am. I just can't believe that you're alive.”

I keep saying it over and over. I keep thinking it over and over. It isn't until I hug him that I realize it's true. My brother Qadir is here. He's been around this entire time.

He brushes his hand through my hair, “You smell like him...”

It's the professor who responds, “Walid is infatuated with your little brother Qadir. He's taken him in his pack. Walid...slept with him last night...”

Qadir's eyes widen, “Like went to sleep.”

The professor nods, “They woke up together.”

I can tell by the reaction that they have that this must not an expected series of events. At first I'm scared how Qadir must react. He must know that as Walid is catching feelings for me that I'm also catching feelings for Walid.

Strangely a smile spreads across Qadir's face and he ruffles my straight silky hair in the way that my dad always did.

“Good job little brother,” Qadir laughs.

“Good job.”

Qadir emphasizes his excitement pacing back and forth, “He thinks you're a part of his pack now. He's putting his guard down. He has no idea that I'm still alive...and he has no idea where your loyalty still lies.”

I just stare at them for a minute. Qadir's cocky smile reminds me so much of Walid. His macho demeanor though reminds me of my father. I look over at the Professor. He's nodding in a way. He's a fucking traitor is what he is. But they both seem to be on the same wavelength. They both assumed it was ok to bring me out here. They both assumed it was ok to talk to me so openly.

They were wrong.

“,” I start off as humbly as I possibly can, “I am part of Walid's pack. He does have my loyalty.”

“You're my little brother,” Qadir responds.

It's almost as though he's reminding me of something that I must have forgot. I know who he is. I know who he is to me. That doesn't change the fact about how I feel about Walid.

“Pack comes before the family...right?” I ask at that moment.

“You're part of my pack!” Qadir responds.

He's forceful this time. He nearly growls it at me. A solid arm comes forward and pushes me back so hard that I feel like I'm going to bust my head on the ground. Luckily a blanket of snow falls underneath me and catches me just in time.

I struggle to get up at that moment but Qadir pounces on me.

He used to do it often when we were children. He used to do it long before we both probably knew we were wolves. That idea of dominating me. He would pin me down to the floor if I didn't listen to him and he would hold me down there until I submitted to him.

As I sit on the floor now I realize that I've submitted to someone else already and I'm struggling. I'm struggling against Qadir with everything I have in me.


“Calm down,” he demands, “Are you so fucking whipped by him that you are going to turn against me little brother? Seriously.”

The professor is close by. The traitor shakes his head, “He'll change his mind soon. Now that he's in the pack it's only a matter of time before Walid tells his master plan.”

“Master plan?” I ask.

I'm confused by it. Walid doesn't seem like someone who plans things. And if he did plan things, as much as I care about him, I have to admit whatever he planned would be far from being called a “master”. What the hell were they talking about?

“He has no idea,” Mayorga says from behind.

At that moment I hear something. It's a ruffling and it must be distant as hell in the woods. Maybe a half a mile away...maybe even more. Still my wolf ears hear the ruffling in the distance. My brother hears it as well because he jumps off of me at that moment.

He looks in the distance. We all are facing the same distance.

“Someone followed us,” The professor realizes. He speaks in a very low whisper that is barely audible.

I look in the distance. I don't see anything or hear anything. It's silent in the woods. Way too silent.

“Is it an animal? Maybe a regular wolf?” Walid asks.

He looks at the professor. The professor inhales the air. He thinks for a moment.


Fuck. Not Fang!

I'm not the only one to panic though. I see my brother lunge forward ripping off his clothing and throwing it in the snow. As he runs he's naked now. His huge biceps flex. His ass muscles contort and expand in the snow as he runs. He paces forward faster than I've seen any human run...even Walid for that matter. My brother is changing now. He's turning into the wolf.

I look on from the ground and see the color of his wolf. It's reddish brown...just like the photo that Evan had.

“We can't let him get back to the Alpha,” the professor states, “If Walid finds out that we are talking to Mayorga...if he finds out that Qadir is's over...for all of us.”

I can see the fear in his eyes. He's takes off after my brother at that moment. He transitions quickly into his wolf.

He's right in a way. I don't want to know what Walid's wrath is going to be if he finds out that I'm out here talking to my brother. For a moment I think about helping them. I think about tracking down Fang. But what am I going to do if I am able to run Fang down. Am I supposed to kill Fang? Am I supposed to hurt him.

I don't know what to do about it.

“You aren't going to turn on Walid are you?” a voice says.

He's so quiet that I almost forget Mayorga is still there. He isn't panicking like the professor or Qadir. I guess he has nothing to lose really. The professor and Qadir are both nervous about being discovered. Mayorga has been Walid's moving target all along. He takes a few steps towards me, moving in the snow in a way that I'm surprised by.

I shake my head, “I care about him.”

Mayorga smiles at me, “I cared about him once too. You know? I would say I loved him even. Even back then though. He never...slept with me.”

Mayorga looks over at me in a curious way. His eyes look me up and down.

“Walid isn't a bad guy,” I defend him.

Mayorga nods, “I know. He has a soul under all that macho. He's soft really. Emotional. He wears his heart on his sleeves. He means well.”

The look in Mayorga's eyes deceive him. It's clear that he and Walid had a history. It's clear that they cared about each other at one point. But as I look at Mayorga. As I look over at him I can tell that there's more to the story. I can tell that maybe Mayorga still has feelings for him.

Maybe that's why I'm still in these woods looking at the mystery that is Michael Mayorga and trying to figure out where Walid's past really was.

“You chose Qadir over Walid,” I tell him.

He shakes his head, “That's not completely true. I loved Walid with all my heart.”

“So why betray him?”

“Because they have a point. Qadir and the professor. Walid is...more animal than man. He's a threat to our way of living. He's so...fucking proud.”

“Is that why you chose Qadir over him?”

He nods, “Kind of. The professor is the one who really has us understanding how much of a threat Walid could be. Back then I would have followed Walid anywhere. I wanted Walid. If you ask him, I was so in love with Qadir the whole time. That's not the truth. I just wanted more. You know? When I was intimate with him, all I wanted was for him to treat me gentle. Just one time. I would have ripped my heart out for him to kiss me. I would have given my life for him to sleep with me one time. I loved Walid and he treated me”

He's hurt. It's clear as day.

Mayorga shakes it off at that moment, “... It doesn't matter. Qadir treated me better. Even now Qadir really wants Walid to accept us back in the pack. That's not going to happen though. Walid is all about power. All about territory. He doesn't see anything but that.”

“I've seen a different side of him,” I explain, “A softer side.”

Mayorga glances at me confused by what I'm telling him but still surprisingly he's standing around to listen. He's quiet for a moment taking it all in.

Then he nods.

“Maybe you can change him. Maybe you can do what I couldn't,” Mayorga states.

At that moment I see a different side to Mayorga. He still cares about Walid. That's clear. But he isn't like some sort of jealous ex whose upset that someone is able to reach Walid in a way that he couldn't. He's actually seeming reasonable here. I must say out of all the werewolves I've met he definitely seems to be the most reasonable and I can tell in just these few minutes talking to him.

I feel a connection to him. Maybe it's because we both have feelings for Walid. Maybe it's because Mayorga is the one who turned me into a werewolf.

“Maybe it doesn't have to be like this. Maybe we don't have to fight.”

I don't know if my idea of peace is going on deaf ears as Mayorga walks away in the snow. Maybe secretly he's laughing at the idea of it. He walks away from me slowly. He's going the opposite direction of where the professor and Qadir ran. It's clear he's not going to pursue Fang.

“Tell that to Walid.”


Peace is a strange concept. I haven't had a real peace of mind since becoming a werewolf. As I get back to the mansion, it's almost nighttime.

I'm wondering if the professor and Qadir caught Fang but as I approach the house things don't seem like they have escalated in anyway. I'm confused as I see the pack standing outside.

“Where have you been...we've been waiting on you,” Walid says.

He's standing outside of a van. It's a big white van. As I approach Walid swings his heavy arm over me so hard that I almost fall to the ground. I look to my right to see that the professor is there. He is dressed again. He's looks at me nervously but doesn't say anything. His eyes just glare at me.

Amina and Naomi are there as well. They seem ignorant of everything that is going on. There is no sign of Fang though.

Did the professor catch him? Did they kill him?

“Where are we going?”

“It's Christmas Eve. We're headed down the mountain to a bar,” Walid says, “What? Did you expect us to celebrate Christmas Eve in the house. I plan on getting drunk as fuck. Henny on the rocks and then getting my rocks off. Feel me?”

Walid pulls me close. He kisses me hard on the side of my cheek.

Where is Fang? My heart is racing. Walid will notice Fang is missing. Walid will notice he's dead. All hell will break loose.


We turn at that moment to see him. Fang. The professor and I exchange looks. Fuck. They hadn't been able to catch Fang. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I'm happy they didn't kill Fang but now that Fang was here I was just nervous as hell.

What did Fang know?

How much did he see?

“Why the hell are you late?” Walid asks Fang.

Fang shakes his head, “I was right in the house. Waiting for your boyfriend to show up. He's the one that's late. You won't question him though, I suppose.”

Fang looks over at me. His eyes are so full of suspicion. I'm shocked by it really. Walid is standing there at that moment. He pulls me close.

“I question who I want. You clearly aren't Nasir. Are you?” Walid responds grabbing Fang by the back of his neck and shoving him to the van so hard that I'm sure if Fang was human his neck would have snapped.

Fang doesn't respond though. He just looks over at me. Then he does the strangest thing. He looks at the professor too.

And I'm scared. I'm extremely scared.

We drive down the mountain. Walid doesn't leave me alone. He keeps me close to him. I want to like the fact that he's somewhat claiming me but truth is I'm afraid. I've seen what happens to people who Walid doesn't trust. What if Fang knows something? He's acting strange. If he does know something though then why isn't he saying anything.

I can't get it out of my mind. By the time we get down the mountain I'm sweating and shaking from nerves. I'm beyond afraid.

The bar has other people in it. It's in the town of Vanderbilt at an old wood cabin. It definitely has that small town feel to it. Since all the students are away for the holidays I see a lot of the patrons seem older. They seem like lumberjacks and other working men. People who have business in a place like Vanderbilt. I can smell the liquor and hard booze as we approach the palce.

The others start piling into the bar. I stay behind waiting for the professor to come out of the car.

“Does he know?” I ask the professor.

The professor shrugs, “He ran. He didn't look back. He disappeared before we were able to catch him. We were getting too close the mansion and had to pull back. If Fang does know...we are both dead men.”

“I had nothing to do with that,” I replied, “You dragged me out there. I'm not plotting against anyone...”

“You really think Walid cares about you that much huh? Well...I guess we tonight will be the night that we find out...”

The professor is nervous. He's acting like he isn't but he's scared as hell. I can see him breathing heavy. I'm pissed off at him for putting me in this situation. He's making me look shady as hell. He dragged me out there assuming I'd just join his plan to overthrow Walid. For what? What would I be getting out of helping my brother become the Alpha?

I follow the professor in the bar. As we walk in I notice Walid is taking over a table. He literally threatens the people who are sitting there to get up. Luckily they do without there being much of an issue either.

I notice Fang next to Walid. He's right there next to him.

Walid has empty seats across from him, “Come. Sit over here.”

He's directing the professor and I to sit next to him. Amina is standing up. She's dancing to music that you can barely hear over loud drunk people. Naomi is sitting at the end of the table. She's sulking again. She's been sulking since the fight.

“A round of Ambrosias,” Walid screams out to the bartender, “On the professor's tab.”

The professor doesn't argue the point. I didn't think he was going to.

“Ambrosias?” I ask.

“It's a local drink. Strong as fuck.”

I smile a little bit, “I'm not a real big drinker.”

Fang laughs a little. Walid stares at me as I say that.

“You're a wolf g'dam it,” Walid responds loudly, “Let's get some fuckin' hair on your fuckin' chest man.”

As he says that the professor brings back a tray filled with mugs. I watch as all the others grab. Even sulking Naomi takes a mug from the tray. It's Walid who reaches over for the last mug and slams it on the table in front of me. I am definitely changing. Eating meat. Drinking. This just isn't me.

Still I realize I'm bringing more attention onto myself than necessary. I raise my glass as the others raise their glasses.

“What are we cheers-ing to, my man?” Professor Timus asks.

Walid looks over at me, “Our new member. The black and white wolf!”

At that moment Walid stands up. He rips his shirt open. Nothing but muscles. I watch people at the near table turn at that moment. Walid isn't exactly a wallflower. His hairy chest has muscles on muscles layered. He demands the attention of the room. He's loud, handsome as hell and looks like a body builder. Of course people are going to turn to look at him.

The fact that he has no shame in announcing that I'm a wolf doesn't blow my mind either. The others must be used to it because they don't really react.

“Thanks...” I say.

“Get up...” Walid says to me.

“Walid---” I can't help but smile.

Walid makes his way across the table at that moment and lifts me up. He lifts me up so that I'm standing on the stool above the rest of the table.

He looks up at me, “No time to be shy. You're beautiful. You know that. Be proud. Look. Your taller than me today...”

I'm embarrassed at first. My face flushes with red as I realize we are getting attention from other people at the bar. Walid is super loud. He's so proud. A part of me just wishes I could have that amount of confidence one time in my life. Even now though, just standing on the stool...I'm nervous. I feel like I'm going to fall even though Walid has one hand on me and is doing some sort of balance act. He raises his mug with the other hand so high that it's able to meet mine. His eyes link on mine. He's so strong. So powerful. I'm amazed by this man every moment I'm around him.

“You should get him down off of there,” Naomi states, “He looks nervous like he's going to faint. He's still just a pup after all..”

Amina laughs at first until Walid throws them both a glare. She stops laughing immediately.

Walid raises his glass again, “Fuck them. Look at me. What are you...”


“What are you?”

“A wolf...” I say looking around and noticing people in the bar are staring at me.

There is laughter from the others members of the pack, particularly Naomi and Fang.

Walid grips me on my arm, “Louder. Stronger. What are you? Tell me what you are, Nasir.”

I'm flushed with embarrassment. My mind is blown that I have this man standing below me coaching me on my confidence. Maybe it's long overdue. No one ever took the time to help me with my confidence. Not my father. Not my brother. I was weak to them. I was a feminine child not ready to be a man.

Right now though...with Walid protecting me...controlling me. I felt powerful. I powerful.


It comes from deep inside me. And I don't know what comes over me. Maybe it's the wolf inside. All of a sudden I'm howling.

I'm howling loudly. People in the bar are turning to look at me but I don't care. Walid doesn't care either. He's howling with me. He's howling as loud as I am.

It's a strange thing but in that moment, howling in this bar with Walid everything seems to disappear. He's drinks the ambrosia sloppily like a man. The drink falls over over his muscular chest. It's so sexy and real that I find myself ripping open my shirt and doing as Walid does. The ambrosia is strong. It's pure alcohol. Some sort of moonshine but with a chocolate taste. It drips down my body at that moment and the burn feels my chest so much that I fall over.

I'm caught though. I'm caught by Walid.

He looks down in my eyes as I'm cradled in his arms, “Careful little wolf.”

His eyes are soft...welcoming. He's cradling me as he would a child. He's so fucking gentle. I've never seen him interact with anyone so gently. My heart is racing at that moment as I'm in Walid's arms. I'm falling for him. I'm falling HARD!

“I want you to FUCK the shit out of me tonight!” I scream out.

He laughs as though entertained by me at that moment, “I'll cheers to that...”


The night goes on until alcohol is piling up. I don't think it's possible for Walid to get louder and more forceful than he already is but by his 6th mug a beast seems to have come out. I'm not embarrassed by it though. No. I'm turned on. He's so manly. He's so sexy. He's completely shirtless now in this bar. He grabs his balls openly several times. He burps without excusing himself. He's rude and physical with people. But above all of these things...Walid is SEXY AS FUCK!

Naomi has let down her sulking and is dancing with Amina now. Everyone seems to be relaxed including me. I'm sitting on Walid's lap at this moment.

He's sucking on my nipples right in the middle of the bar.

“Man let's go to this bathroom,” he's telling me, “I know you want this dick. You want this dick don't you. I'm going to dick you down so good tonight. I'm going to nut all up in you. No. No. I want to nut in your mouth. Will you swallow me?”

I can tell Fang and the professor are uncomfortable having to sit by and listen to all of this. It probably would have been the most awkward thing in the world but I'm drunk as hell. Besides I'm with Walid and he's making me

“Every last drop,” I tell him.

“Mhmmm...” Walid says.

He's hard underneath me. His dick is so hard that he moves my body adjusting me over and over so that my asshole rubs against it through the pants. He's literally dry humping me in front of everyone in the bar and he could care less.

He picks up the ambrosia and pours a little in my mouth. Then he pours it all over my chest. Then Walid start to lick all over my body and all over my chest.

I don't know what comes over me but I'm howling again. I'm letting the wolf out and Walid loves every single moment of it. His laughter grows and he pulls me closer.

“Nasir maybe you should stop that,” Professor Timus finally warns me and whispers lowly, “Humans around here believe in myths. We can't just go around howling.”

“Are you telling him what to do?” Walid asks the professor.

Walid's eyes turn to him. They get real serious at that moment. I don't know why the professor would be dumb enough to try and correct me in front of Walid.

“Walid it's ok,” I say.

“No it's not. I asked the professor a question,” Walid says putting me down beside him and sliding over to the bench the professor is at, “Cat got your FUCKING tongue, omega?”

People in the bar turn to Walid. The professor shakes his head at that moment. He lowers his head so low that for the moment I think he's going to drop his head into Walid's crotch.

“No sir.”

“I didn't think so,” Walid replies.

“It was just a suggestion...” the professor foolishly adds.

At that moment Walid grabs on the professor's neck. I jump at that moment and try to get between them. In a matter of seconds the professor is turning blue.

“ It's ok.”

Walid tosses the professor on the floor.

“You're lucky Nasir doesn't want to embarrass you,” Walid responds to the professor and spits at him from the stool, “Get the fuck out of here, Timus. You can walk home.”

“'s freezing out. It's below 0 today.”

“Then run!” Walid responds.

Timus isn't dumb enough this time to respond again. He leaves at that moment. I kind of feel bad for him a little bit but then I remember Timus is the fucking traitor who brought me into the crosshairs between my brother and Walid. If it wasn't fear for my brother and the fact that I kind of did like Mayorga, I would have sell Timus out to Walid right now.

I knew if I did though it would be the end of Timus.

“Walid calm down,” I tell him.

“I can't,” he responds, “This is my territory and some omega wolf has the nerve to say that my partner can't howl if he wants to. What kind of wolf can't howl? What the fuck?”

He's taking this personal. He probably is so upset that he doesn't even realize what he said. I realize it though. So does Fang. He's the only one at the table now. The girls are busy dancing and carrying on with the locals. Fang has been here this whole time just watching though.

“I'm your partner?” I say smiling.

I can't help but smile.

Walid smiles at me and pulls me close, “You didn't think I sleep with anyone did you? Once a wolf finds a mate, he mates with that person for life. I'm domesticated now. And now that I've found my mate, I'll make sure he's safe. I'll make sure that if you want to howl, you can howl as loud as you want. You hear me? It's time to take back my territory.”

He looks so serious.

“You really can't think Mayorga is a big threat to you?” I reply.

I don't want him to put down his guard. Qadir is out there. At the same time I hate seeing Walid worked up like this. I hate seeing him stress out. Right now he's fixing his mouth in a way that he's bearing teeth. Even though they are his pearly white human teeth, he isn't any less frightening.

Walid raises an eyebrow, “Mayorga? No. I'll deal Mayorga in time. He's not my threat.”

I turn to Fang. Did Fang tell him about Qadir?

Could he know that Qadir was still alive?

I stutter with fear, “Well---uh---who then?”

My heart beats. What if Walid knew this whole time? What if Fang actually told him that Qadir is back? What if Fang saw me speaking with Qadir in the woods?

Walid shakes his head, “The humans. It's time to get all of these humans off of my territory.”

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