Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2004 22:59:18 -0400
From: Matt __ <blackadept@hotmail.com>
Subject: Black Adept 7

The characters and plot in this story are copyrighted by the author.

All the characters in this story are purely products of my imagination and
are not based on real people. Any resemblance is purely coincidental and is
not intended.

If you are looking for just sex this is not the story for you.

This is my first attempt at a story and I hope that you like it. If you
have any positive feedback I would love to hear it. You can email me at
BlackAdept@Hotmail.com

Sorry it took so long getting this one out I have had a ton of work to do
and haven't had much of a chance to write and add on top of that writers
block. I hope you enjoy this chapter I will continue the story Kai's life
in the next one. The next one might take a while too since I still have a
lot of work to do so the next one probably wont be out until early
December.

I would like to give special thanks to Bobby who is editing my work for me.


The Black Adept

Chapter 6: Kai's Secrets

By Matt


Kai's POV

I was embarrassed as I walked back towards my room with my brother. Kinren
keeps looking at me with a smirk on his face which is better then some
expressions I guess since I just outted myself to him. Thinking about it I
can't believe that I just kissed Truin sure he is cute and all but he is a
void mage a three hundred year old one at that. He seemed so sweet and
gentle but so sad that I just felt drawn to him from the first moment I
didn't think he was about to kill us. When he started telling us his story
and I heard some of the things he has been through, I couldn't help but
feel a bond to him. In many ways, we have a lot in common and I can easily
see how I could have been him. We are a lot alike in some ways. When I look
back at my life, I realize how close I actually came to being just like him
and how close my future may be just like his past.

My life was handed to me on a silver platter. As the son of a High Lord, I
was given everything that I could ever desire but I never seemed to fit
in. My only real friend was my brother, the only one whoever came close to
understanding me but even he doesn't know all my secrets. Kinren was
everything my parents could ever hope for; intelligent, a great warrior and
strategist, and would make a great High Lord when his time came. He was
always the center of attention and loved (some might even say he needed)
it. He was a natural born leader and people just seemed to naturally follow
him. Me, on the other hand; quiet, shy, not overly skilled in anything
where my brother succeeded in everything he ever did. I probably would have
nothing note worthy if the Academy mages hadn't discovered my potential. My
brother was already off at the Academy when it happened. He didn't have
great potential but he still found a way to succeed as a Varshar, warrior
mage, where his skills as warrior and strategist might actually be used to
full effect. I was always elusive so the mages of the keep never really
paid attention to me . Potential in theory can be felt anytime but it is
easiest to detect when a person is under stress or suffering from extreme
emotion. It lowers the natural barriers and allows the potential energy to
radiate out of you. If the natural barriers are lowered enough, the magic
might even take form. Most times when this happens, it is relatively minor
since magic needs a guiding force to work an actual shaping of the
power. Sometimes, though, a person manages to unconsciously guide it into
something. This is rare and usually destructive. I was one such case.

I had known I was gay since I was quite young but didn't really have words
for the feelings in me. It wasn't until I was thirteen that I came to terms
with it completely. It was not an easy thing to deal with, but I was
extremely mature at that age. I knew that it was a hard life to be gay as a
peasant but, as a noble of one of the great houses, it would be impossible.
I was a resource to my family as much as a son and would be used to
strengthen our ties to another family eventually in a marriage alliance. I
had resigned myself to that fate with a heavy heart I had contemplated
suicide but hadn't given up on life yet. I still had hope that I could find
happiness somehow. I was known for disappearing for hours on end, so no one
gave any notice the day I snuck out of the keep to take a walk in the
forest. I dressed as a servant to slip past the guards. Since no one pays
attention to them, anyone that saw me would mistake me for a servant. I was
deep in thought when I heard a noise. It was the cry of a wolf, one of the
great dire wolves that walk as tall as men. Most would have run in fear,
but I could hear the pain in the cry and ran to see what had caused
it. What I found would alter my life forever after.

I came into a clearing and saw three bandits toying with a dying dire
wolf. They were slowly killing her newborn cubs in front of her eyes. She
was obviously suffering from both the trauma of that plus extensive
wounds. Dire wolves are intelligent like humans and even have their own
language according to many who have studied them over the years. It is even
rumored that some dire wolves can use magic, but few believe that. But I
was to learn the truth of it. At that moment I didn't care if any of it was
true or not. I just want to stop the cruelty of the slaughter. There were
originally eight pups in her litter but now they were preparing to kill the
last one. Without thinking I charged forward an tackled the man holding the
pup, causing him to drop it but he did not fall down. The pup instantly
went to his mother for protection not knowing there was nothing she could
do. The man I tried to tackle backhanded me, causing me to land only a few
feet away from the dying mother. I crawled towards her knowing that some of
my ribs had been broken by the hit. I tried to shield the terrified pup
which just earned laughs from the bandits. Two of them had swords but one
had a spear and he made a stab for the pup. I made a painful leap forward
and felt the spear sink into my stomach followed by a gush of blood. I knew
I would not be able protect the pup and wished that I could have done
something more to help the little guy. I looked into the mother's dying
eyes and gave a prayer that my death be worth something and that whatever
gods may be listening would make it so by doing something to save the
pup. With that prayer, my potential awoke with a vengeance. I felt the
power in me start to pulse and then something took a hold of it and through
it at the bandits with such force that many of their bones broke as they
flew across the clearing. When they landed two were already dead and the
other dying quickly. I realized with a shock that it was the mother who had
guided my energy and that my prayer had given her access to it. When looked
at her I saw her breathe her last, ragged, bloody breath as she died and
knew that I would follow her soon. I just hoped that the pup would survive.

For a short time I was dead. At least it was a short time in this world.
In the plane of death time has no meaning. I stood in the line of the dead
for what felt like almost a year to me but what would have been only a
fraction of a second in the plane of men. When you die you stand in a line
with all the other dead souls waiting for Nellin the goddess of death to
judge you and send your soul to its punishment and reward until your turn
in the cycle returns and you live another life. It took me almost a year in
this plane before I stood in front of the most feared goddess of my
religion. What I saw surprised me. She was hauntingly beautiful with
midnight black hair and completely silver eyes. She sat on a great silver
throne in a room that seemed to go on forever. If measured in human years I
would have guessed her age around her early twenties. Her delicate seeming
face pale as new fallen snow and her expression unreadable. She stared at
me and I could feel her judging every experience, action, and decision that
I had ever made. She seemed to stare at me, judging the entirety of my
existence for an eternity and in this plane it is possible that she
did. Then she spoke with a voice completely devoid of emotion that sent a
shiver down my spine.

"Do you accept your death?"

Before I could even think about it I answered, "Yes". It was after I said
that I realized the truth of it. I felt no real regret about dying other
than leaving my parents and brother. I had nothing in life that I truly
held onto, nothing that could make me fight the unavoidable fact that I was
dead. I had long ago given up on the hope of finding true love so that
didn't hold me back. I had never really felt any real connection to
anything. I had nothing to hold me to the world. I didn't realize how rare
that truly was for someone to have no solid connection when they passed
on. My thoughts were interrupted by her next question.

"Do you accept the completion of your life?"

While the question sounded the same I recognized the difference.  Again I
answered "Yes" because I knew that she meant, `did I have any unfinished
business or regrets that I would carry into the afterlife?'. I had no
responsibilities left undone since I had never had a quest or goal that
could have made me regret leaving unfinished. I was second son so my
responsibilities to my family wouldn't hold me to the world. I had never
had or felt any real purpose in life until I came across the dire wolf and
her last pup. That was the only time I ever really felt like I needed to do
something and I completed that as well as I could so that wasn't an issue.
I had no real obligations that were important enough to make me regret
leaving that world. Again I was startled from my thought by another
question.

"What do you expect of your afterlife?"

This one was not a simple yes of no question and I know just like the
other she could read the answer out of mind if she desired but didn't for
some reason. It only took a few seconds to come up with an answer that
seemed right to me I said simply, "Nothing."

For the briefest of seconds she looked surprised, but that may have just
been my imagination. She just repeated what I said in a questioning way,
"Nothing?"

"Nothing, I have no right to expect anything of my afterlife since I have
done nothing that should have influenced what I could expect. I have done
no good great enough to warrant reward or evil to receive punishment. I
have never gone out of way to help anybody or tried to do anything to harm
or offend anybody. I have done no great deeds as a warrior or scholar or
anything else worthy of notice. I have served no gods or goddesses in
anyway to expect them to intercede on my behalf. I have no reason to expect
anything out of my afterlife because I have not done anything worthy of
expecting anything." This answer seemed to please her somehow. Her face
didn't change, I just sensed she was happy with what I said. She seemed
just about ready to speak when another voice interrupted her.

"That is not exactly true. You have done me a great service."  I turned to
see what had to be the most beautiful man I had ever seen. He looked young
maybe late teens. He had incredible pure gold eyes, with hair that was
blond but seemed to shine gold as well. His face was flawless and had a
impish grin that promised mischief and only added to his beautiful
appearance. He had a body that seemed perfect, which was almost entirely
visible since he wore nothing but a loincloth. It didn't click at first who
he was since, in the stories, he is always describe as a half beast
monster, which he clearly wasn't. But I know he was Sor-Taen the trickster
god and also the god of beasts. He was the youngest of all the gods, last
to come into his power only to find all the aspects of men and the world
controlled by his siblings so he became the god of beasts. The stories
described him as childish and he dedicated much of his time to annoying the
other gods and goddesses to no end. He was the least worshipped god by
humans since they thought he had nothing to offer for their worship and he
was content to worry only about his animals that he watched over. His
voiced echoed across the halls of death like the most beautiful music. "In
saving one of my children you have done something that few humans are
willing to do. You gave your life in service to one of my children and for
that I owe you a favor, but I have actually come to ask one of you."

I just stood shocked that this god was talking to me and wondered what
type of favor a god could ask of me?  A mortal dead human at that. I was
about to ask what it was he wanted, when the voice of Nellin rang across
the hall. Not the cold emotionless voice from before, but one full of rage
that sent a chill into my very soul. No one ever wanted to hear the lady of
death angry, especially when she has yet to set your fate.

"How dare you enter my realm and interfere in my business. The rules of
creation state that no god can interfere in the domain of another."

Sor-Taen didn't seem phased by her anger or her words and just looked her
in the face with that same impish grin and said, "Now dear sister, calm
down. I am not here without reason. You know the rules state that a god can
interfere when it involves their realm or their followers. He did die to
protect my realm and followers so I have a say in his fate." With that his
face took on a very smug expression thinking that he won the argument but
also challenging his sister to try an outsmart the trickster god. What she
said however caused that expression to be replaced with one of disbelief.

"I claim his soul and have plans for his fate. I will not allow you to
interfere, no matter what the rules of creation state."

I don't know what scared me more at that moment that the gods were
apparently fighting over me, or that the lady of death had plans for me. I
watched Sor-Taen's expression change from disbelief to curiosity to a
beaming smile that showed he had come to some sort of realization. I
watched his trademark grin return to his face as he spoke words that I
actually found more frightening than what Nellin had said.

"I think I know what you have in mind and there might yet be a way for both
of us to get what we want. We won't even have to break any rules to do
it. Just bend them a little. What do say, sis, can we share him? Please?"
He finished with an expression that reminded me of a five year old trying
to get someone to get them a toy. Nellin's expression was one of deep
thought before she answered.

"How is it possible? The rules state that chaos and order cannot be made
one in any form. They must remain separate." I was lost at this point, not
recognizing at that time that they were referring to not only the rules of
the universe but of magic as well."

The great trickster just smiled and said, "I never said we would make them
one.  The rules don't say they cannot both be present in one host, just
that they cannot be one."

Nellin seemed to think about this for a while before a small smile
appeared on her face and nodded. "It will not make the other gods happy,
but in this situation it might actually be to our advantage to bend this
rule a little to prepare for the coming times."

The Beast Lord instantly responded like a five year old offered candy and
ran to his sister and embraced her in a crushing hug. "If you can agree to
bend rules, then there may be hope for you after all, sis."

I was wondering what they wanted from me since at that time I didn't have
a clue all I knew is that they were trying to bend a rule and it involved
me. They had seemed like they had forgotten me and were busily discussing
something that I couldn't hear. I was about to say something (before I went
crazy) when they both stood up and turned to me. Being caught in her silver
eyed stare and his golden one was intimidating, but not as much as when
they started speaking in perfect unison. "Kai Aubrey together we offer the
opportunity to be the avatar of death and beasts on Earth and all the power
that comes with it. In return you must dedicate your life to our service
and goals. Do you accept?"

I just stood in shock thinking about the choice that was being presented
to me. I knew that saying `yes' would mean that I would virtually be
surrendering my life to their wills. I would be in the service of the most
shunned god and goddess in the pantheon. I should not have been even
considering it because it seemed like I got nothing out of it. There was
one great appeal to it though. The one thing that my life always seemed to
be missing was a purpose and, in a way, that is what they were offering to
me. Also, it just felt right to me to actually have a purpose and be
someone who can make a difference in the world. It just seemed like
something that I never knew I wanted but couldn't live without. With that
thought, I said the words that changed the course of my life. Well,
actually brought me back to life.

"I accept."

When I said those words I still had my doubts, but if I knew what I know
now back then, I wouldn't have even had those. I could see from the moment
I first met the beast god that I liked him and not just physically. He had
this aura of happiness and playfulness, not to mention mischief, that just
made him seem endearing. I still wonder why he doesn't have more followers
among men. What I never expected to happen was that I would come to be fond
of Nellin. She has a simple determination that is admirable. It is truthful
and to the point, since there is no need of trickery or deceit in death.
With Sor-Taen, you have to watch what he says since it can have a hidden
meaning or two. That might explain why few men choose to worship him since
he has no problem tricking his own followers as if their lives are just
part of his great practical joke on the world. Serving the gods wasn't as
hard as I thought it would be, and their objectives were not that difficult
to follow. The lady of death does not require that you kill or encourage
death. She actually is quite patient and encourages life since it means
that more shall enter her realm in the future. The lord of beasts simply
desires that beasts, especially the intelligent ones like dire wolves,
drakes, and dragons, live as uninterrupted as possible. He also likes to be
as much of a nuisance to mankind as possible.

Clerical magic is much like other magic but with a twist. Wizards and
sorcerers use their personal energies to shape or guide the natural
energies around them. Clerics use their personal energy to focus and guide
the power of their god which gives them more power then many mages, but
limits what they can do with it to the domain of their god. Many clerics
study wizardry or sorcery to increase their power, but it is more difficult
since they need to stay on the good side of their god. Necromancers are the
most well known type of duel practitioners who use wizardry to further the
powers granted to them by their goddess.

When it comes to both magic and the gods there is only one great division.
It is not between good and evil which many like to think, but between order
and chaos. Order magic is called wizardry and is the process of learning
how to use your internal potential to force the energies of the natural
world to behave as you want it. This means the range of what a wizard can
do is virtually limitless since they don't have to follow the natural laws.
A wizard is always in complete control of the energies they are working
with and can shape them into almost anything with their wills. Chaos magic
is sorcery and it is the guiding of the natural energies in a path you
want. Sorcerers learn to guide existing energies, which are most commonly
the elements, and steer them how they will. Where a wizard could create
fire out of nothing, a sorcerer can only affect what already exists. A
sorcerer could expand and control a existing fire but cannot create fire. A
sorcerer never has complete control over the magic they are working with
since they are only trying to channel the energy, not control it. The gods
and goddesses are divided along these lines too. Some, such as the goddess
of death, are in the realm of order. Others, such as the beast god, are in
the realm of chaos. It is a long standing belief that these energies cannot
be mixed in any form even though there are two exceptions.  The first is
void magic which is simply explained. Since the Void is not bound to any of
the natural rules of the world, or even to the universe itself, it can
circumvent this rule. The second is demon magic, since a demon is a
creature of chaos but only a wizard can learn to bring order to their
energies when bonded so they can use it. No other exception has ever been
known to the world of magic. I wonder what they would think of me. I
formally study wizardry and don't admit to serving either of my two gods
publicly. I have also studied sorcery in secret and can use both.

After I agreed to serve the gods, I seemed to have woken up and, for a
minute, thought that I had had a really weird dream until I realized I was
outside. I opened my eyes to realize that I was in the clearing with the
dead dire wolf and her cub which was desperately and futilely trying to
wake its mother. I knew that it was probably too young to take care of
itself yet and that it would probably die if left alone, so I decided to
try and take care of it even though I didn't have a clue how I would manage
it. It was when I started to stand that I realized that the wound in my
stomach was gone and there was no blood on me. There wasn't even a scar. I
just shook my head and tried to decide if I had gotten myself into
something over my head. Not knowing what else to do, I picked the pup
gently and started to pet him he quickly cuddled into me for protection.
There was two things I didn't realize at that moment which I wished I knew
then. The first was that the pup was still young enough that it would come
to think of me as almost as its mother and later more of a brother. Second,
it might have been the size of a new born baby then but I wished I would
have known that it would grow to be able to look a grown man in the eyes in
just a few years. I put him in my backpack so it would be easier to carry
him and he could still poke his head out and look around.

I started to make my way back to my family's keep thinking that nothing
had changed for me there. That was until I heard horses coming my way
quickly from the direction of the keep. Knowing that most people feared
dire wolves, I knew that whoever it was would most likely not take kindly
to the cub on my back. Not knowing what else to do, I turned my head and
told the cub to be quiet and hide in my back pack, hoping it understood and
amazingly it did just as I told it. I realized later that as a servant of
the beast lord I could make myself understood by all animals to an extent
and the intelligent beast as well I could with another human. As the
approaching horses got closer and stepped to the side of the road to let
them pass like any servant or poorer person would do. I was shocked when I
realized it was my father, High Lord Sander Aubrey, with an escort of a
dozen guards and the chief Academy representative in Aubrey, Adept Morrin.
I kept my head down hoping that no one would recognize me and they would
pass quickly. I was well in the shadows of the trees so it was hard to see
me unless they were close. Right when I thought they might go right by me,
a guard cried out for everyone to halt and pointed right at me.

"Someone at the side of the road." he yelled, causing everyone to stop and
look at me.

They couldn't see my face well but my drab clothing I was wearing was quite
noticeable even in the shadows. I didn't want to be seen. I didn't how I
would explain sneaking out of the keep but I knew I would have to deal with
it.

I was just getting ready to explain to my father that it was me and then
try to figure out what brought him out here with bodyguards and a mage when
the mage pointed at me and yelled, "Its him!"

With that everybody looked nervous and backed away from me. I was confused
and didn't know what was going on and didn't understand why they were
acting the way they were. I decided that I might as well just get this over
with and turned to my father and said, "Dad I am sorry for sneaking out but
I don't know what is going on here." With that I just watched everybody's
jaw drop as they realized I was the High Lord's son. I learned later that
my burst of energy earlier in dealing with the bandits could be felt by
every mage in the area and that many were thinking that it was a rogue mage
or something that might be a threat.

The next thing that happened was Adept Morrin grabbed my arm for a second
and then jumped back as if he had been hit. He had a stunned expression on
his face as he turned to my father and said, "You must send this boy to the
Academy now he has more active potential than any mage alive at the
Academy. Actually more than any two I think and now that it has been
activated he must learn to use it or it could become dangerous."

I first I thought he must be kidding and then I thought that the power was
given to me by the two gods I now served. The truth I would learn later it
was my power that made the gods interested in me in the first place. There
is an old legend that says every millennium a mage rises superior to all
the rest in both power and skill and he is destined to stand on guard
against the rise of evil who also has their champion and whoever wins
determines the next thousand years. I was soon to learn that that was me
but this time the other side had changed the rules in their favor.

To be continued...

Sorry it took so long getting this one out I have had a ton of work to do
and haven't had much of a chance to write and add on top of that writers
block. I hope you enjoyed this chapter I will continue the story Kai's life
in the next one. The next one might take a while too since I still have a
lot of work to do so the next one probably wont be out until early
December.

You can email me at BlackAdept@Hotmail.com