Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2004 16:38:55 -0500
From: Alex Flores <alexflores85@hotmail.com>
Subject: Colors, ch.1

This is about a high school boy who finds about himself in a peculiar
manner. He runs away and something unexpeced happens.

Disclaimer: You know what is up. If you are not supposed to read this, then
don't.

Colors
By Alex

* * *

Do you see the real me inside me
Channeling through all the sight
It was an endless moment shared between us
The way that shows tomorrow will always be there forever

In myself, I see no dreams, like unpainted pictures
How many times must I fill this canvas?
I'll abandon time as I hold a white flag overhead
I am your unknown color now

* * *

The trees went past me as I ran through a concealed trail within the intense
and impenetrable woods. The underbrush fiercely tugged at my jeans,
shredding bits and pieces from them as every step was taken. The low
branches fought to strike me in the face, trying to steal my visibility. It
hurt to go through this way, but I just had to get away. I had to get away
from everything that I knew for a bit. I had just come to a repulsive
conclusion. I didn't want it to be true, but I knew deep within my heart, it
was. I thought that if I just kept on running, the truth would never catch
up with me. I thought that somehow, being scraped, scratched, and bloody
would cleanse me of this conclusion. So even through all the pain that was
being inflicted on me by my own free will, I had to keep on going.

The last bit of sun was setting behind the trees somewhere where I couldn't
see. The sky was channeling the pure essence of pink, casting everything
with its hue. The tall pines bordered all around me, making it hard to see
ten feet in front of me. It was my sanctuary and my prison at the same time.
I was alone, but at the same time, I didn't want to be alone.

I rapidly dodged two low hanging branches, jumped over a fallen log, and
twisted through thorn bushes, tearing my clothes even more. When I had left
my house to go into the woods this morning, I only thought that I would have
small hike and not this adventure. To tell the truth, I was lost in every
sense of the word. I was lost within these woods and didn't even know how to
start to get back to my home, and I was to the highest degree confused about
the recent revelations I've made.

I looked about at my surroundings, noticing that night was fast approaching.
It was the beginning of autumn, meaning that it was fine to go out without a
light jacket during the day. It wasn't very warm during the nights where I
lived. I ignored the chill rising from the shadows. I had to keep on
running. I couldn't care about my clothes that were frazzled and ripped or
that the warmth in the air was rapidly being sucked into the trees. I needed
to get far from people for a while.

I ran through a small creak, my shoes splashing through the water at my high
pace. From there, the land slowly started to rise towards the mountains near
my home. I could feel the slow rise in the ground as I dashed to my unknown
destination. The mountains at this point were mere hills here filled with
thick woods and verdant clearings. I cleared a hole in the ground, and I
could feel the spongy moss below me. It made my step have a certain bounce
to it. I ran around a tree, but I scraped my arm as I went around it. It
stung a bit, but I had to keep on going. I reached the summit of a low hill
and felt a stitch in my side begin to burn a bit. I didn't care. I just kept
on running, ignoring the slight painful annoyance. I past a curtain of
trees, my lower half getting slammed with the underbrush, and entered a
small clearing. I was about halfway when I suddenly fell face downward. The
unexpected fall pushed all the air from within me. My cry echoed from the
wall of trees that surrounded the clearing. All I knew at that moment was
that all the pain I was ignoring was rapidly making sure that I knew it
existed. There was the stitch in my side, a headache racing to monumental
proportions, hundreds of scratches on my arms, legs, neck and face, and now
a throbbing ankle. My leg muscles were burning from overexertion, and there
was a sheen of sweat on my exposed skin, making my shirt cling to my moist
torso. I slowly turned on my back, which was a nauseating feat within
itself, and felt the high grass cushion me from the hard ground. The sky was
starting to show the first twinkling of the stars above as indigo and orange
painted the canvas above me. I could feel the chill in the air begin to seep
within me, sapping any type of warmth that I had from before in the day or
my run. Needless to say, I was going to be stuck in the clearing for a bit.

I wrapped my arms around my body in my futile attempt to keep warm. If I had
known that I was going to do this, I would have worn different, much warmer,
things. I only had a short sleeved shirt, undershirt, jeans, ankle socks,
and a pair of boots as my only protection from the chill. My breathing
started to slow, making the feelings of pain all that much more apparent. I
could tell from the breeze that my jeans had been ripped all over the place.
I couldn't believe how stupid I was for acting the way I had, running into
the unknown. I was getting a bit angry with myself. I was getting really
frustrated with my decision at this point. All I could do was think how this
all started.

* * *

I've always known that I was different from everyone else. I first noticed
it when I was young. All the other boys loved to go out to play with their
G.I. Joe's and play war. I loved to play with the girls and with Barbie. I
loved that I could do her hair and change her clothes whenever I wanted.
What could G.I. Joe offer me? He was a little plastic ass hole. I also loved
to go into my mother's makeup drawer and shoe rack. I would love to put on
her lipstick, a pair of high heels, and clip on earrings. It was great to go
around like that. I never knew that was bad until my mom caught me running
around the house with her things on. Let's say that I could not sit for a
week, and I vowed to never to wear women's things ever again.

As I got older, I kept on staying inside. I got really good at cooking since
I helped my mom all the time. It was one of my passions. I would make great
tasting entrees out of so many things. I also loved to clean around the
house. I became the resident clean freak. I would take out the trash,
vacuum, clean the dishes, and many other Cinderella chores without any
hesitation. I would mop around the house with the music playing, pretending
that I was the latest pop princess to enter the music foray. I didn't know
that this was bizarre behavior until one day my father told me so. He told
me that all the boys were outside playing sports and riding around on their
bikes. First off, I didn't even know how to ride a bike. And second, I hated
sports with a passion. My father just couldn't understand me at all when I
tried to explain everything to him. I was just different. What could I do?

It wasn't much longer until I started to look at boys more than I did girls.
Yeah, I could make friends with girls with no problem at all. I just found
that making friends with boys was a much harder task. I didn't mind it to
tell the truth. I had fun gossiping, shopping, and doing things with the
girls. It felt like they were the only ones that could understand me.
Actually, I thought I was pretty normal. I kept on doing all these things
until a few weeks ago...

It was such a hurting night. I was making dinner for my family, a great
Japanese meal. Somewhere between checking the wok and starting to roll my
spring rolls is where I was slammed with a revelation that shook me to my
very core. It all made sense in my head why I was different. I didn't mind
being different. I loved being so. Well, self-love wasn't going to be on my
mental-menu for tonight. It just kind of slammed my sub-conscious into my
brain and everything apparent. No wonder I used to love to play with Barbie,
hated sports, loved to clean and cook, and take an occasional look at boys,
I was gay! I dropped everything I was doing and just ran to my room. My mom
ran after me, asking what was wrong. I couldn't tell her! I couldn't tell
anyone for that matter. After that, I couldn't do anything, nor did I want
to. I just lazed about in my room contemplating what to do. I couldn't go up
to just anyone and ask for help. Everyone would hate me and ridicule me. It
was the biggest tragedy of my life.

After a few weeks of mom and dad worrying about me, they told me they were
going to enlist me with the help of a therapist. I hated the fact that they
did this to me. The scheduled appointment was supposed to be later today. I
knew deep in my heart that I was normal under any condition except for the
fact that I was queer. Well, it was just the last straw. I couldn't go
through with it. So I decided to take a hike in the woods for the day so I
wouldn't have to go to this psycho analyzer. So this morning, I sneaked off
with a sandwich at hand and went to the trail I usually used when I hiked.
Once I was in the woods, I felt safe. I walked about looking at all the
beautiful fall scenery. I stopped at midday to eat my sandwich. It didn't
take that long. I leaned against a tree to rest for a few minutes. I got up
after I finished and went on in the same direction as the trail. After a few
minutes, I just started to run. I didn't know what told me to start running.
It all started as a guttural lull to get me to move faster, to get out of
people's reach of me. I could feel something pull me from my core. After
going with the trail for a few minutes, I suddenly jumped off it into the
wilderness that I never thought to explore. My body felt as if it had a mind
of its own. I could tell it to move any direction, jump and slow down, but
that was basically it. After a while of running, the thought that I had to
get away from people became a frantic plea within me. After half a day's
run, I got to the clearing. This is where I am, and I didn't know how I was
going to get myself out of this mess

* * *

The night sky unfolded itself in a brilliant mosaic above, capturing every
constellation perfectly. I reached up to the sky, hoping to get a bit of its
spark. The lull within me was still pulling, telling and demanding all at
once for me to start running again. It was impossible though. I could feel
every bit of me becoming a little bit more tense and stiff. My ankle
throbbed with the beat of my heart. I was also really tired. All the running
had drained all my energy from me, leaving me a useless husk.

I struggled to move further in the direction of the pull. This gees wouldn't
let me be. I knew that I was really close, but moving was a big, painful
struggle. Moving my ankle just a little bit sent a spike of hurt through me.
I had to ignore it. I had to get away from people and get to this unknown
place.

I crawled towards the edge of the clearing, the whole time me cringing and
moaning. The lull was the strongest here. I could feel it. I got up on an
elbow and looked around to see if anything was special or out of the
ordinary. I looked down and only saw the last of the wild flowers. I had
come all this way for nothing. I let out a scream and let my body go limp. I
closed my eyes and berated myself for letting myself come out into the
middle of nowhere. My parents were probably now going crazy trying to find
me. Once in their lives, they were right. Maybe I was a stupid crack head.
Maybe I really did need to see the shrink. I might have something really
wrong with me. I might be too scared just to face the music. I let out the
breath that I had been holding unknowingly. I was a stupid prick. I let my
mind wonder, forgetting reality existed. I was abruptly brought of my dreams
when I felt a cold, slimy thing touch my arm. I looked there and found a
slug climbing over my arm. I freaked and screamed. I hated bugs. I shook my
arm crazy but to no avail. It just hung on for the ride. I finally stopped
doing this after a few moments. I looked at it closely. It was a bright
green, with intricate geometric designs in black and yellow.

I looked at the insect a little bit closer to inspect its weird markings. I
looked at it for several minutes. It stayed where it climbed on and never
moved. It was as if it found a home right there on my arm. All I knew was
that I wanted the nasty thing off of me. I shook it once more in my futile
attempt to get it off. When I stopped shaking my arm, the weirdest things
were happening to the slug's markings. They were moving and inter changing
colors. The geometric designs changed from squares to triangles to pentagons
to circles. It started out slow, but it only got faster with every passing
second. I thought I was going crazy. This thing was out of this world. I
shook it again, but it seemed it made it go faster. As the colors started to
blend from the speed, the slug began to grow. I screamed out loud in panic.
It grew larger than me in a short matter of time. All I knew was that it was
on top of me, and its slime was getting all over me. I tried to scream for
dear life. I screamed for help that never was going to come. I kept on
struggling and yelling until the slime went over my mouth, making it hard to
breathe. The yellowish-emerald goop went all around me, making movement
impossible. I drew a deep breath before it totally enclosed me. I tried with
every fiber of my being to escape and try to get away. I got tired from
struggling, and I had to breathe. I let my breath out, realizing that I was
going to drown in slug snot. My body automatically drew in a breath, sucking
in the goop deep within my lungs. I was a goner for sure, but to my great
surprise, I could breathe. Suddenly, the slug started to crawl out of the
clearing. I was being taken with it underneath its body. I screamed some
more and tried to grab for anything that I could kill or at least hurt the
creature.

The insect went through the woods really quickly and entered a cave near by.
It went a few yards in the dark cavern, and unexpectedly, it fell into a pit
in the ground. I screamed to my hearts content but nothing was going to save
me now. The darkness was never ending. I was expecting at any second a hard
impact that would kill me. I could tell we were falling at a fast speed and
that we were actually gaining speed. I just gave up. This was the end of me.
I didn't struggle. I didn't do anything. I looked out of the goo and could
see that the wall was near. The wall jutted out at some places and went
deeply in at other points. Those inner points had strange glowing bits in
them. They were all different colors. As we fell faster and faster, they
flashed faster, making it seem as if we were in space or something. I just
wanted everything to stop. I closed my eyes, praying, hoping, and wondering
if it would ever stop. The darkness seemed to start come towards me. I
grabbed a hold of me and surrounded me. As it finally grabbed, I blacked
out, making everything fade from my existence.

* * *

I woke up as rays of blinding light bombarded my closed eyes. I muttered a
few sighs and rolled over so I could sleep some more. I brushed against some
sort of bush and everything came running back at me at full speed, the slug,
the hole, falling. I immediate got up and looked around. I put my arm around
my eyes because of the light. It was so intense and so warm. I could feel
the dirt beneath me. I slowly opened my eyes, and took my first glance
around me. I wasn't in the woods. I was in a barren waste land. There was a
few bushes and shrubs here and there, but nothing much else. The sun was
larger and it was a lot more intense. I started to panic. I didn't know what
to do. I slowly stood up and fell right back down. That was right. My ankle
was still hurt from earlier. I started to slowly crawl towards a bush. If I
could be in its tiny bit of shade, I could last a little bit longer. I
needed to get back home. I should have never skipped the appointment and
went into the woods. I was going to die out here. I didn't have water, food,
or any shelter.

There was nothing for miles around. There was only hard, encrusted earth and
some bushes. There was not even an animal wandering about. I was very
scared. I didn't know what to do or think about this. I laid out in the sun,
covering my face with my arms. I had been out here for about an hour. I had
cried almost the entire time. I couldn't help it. I had made a stupid
mistake to go out today. I was paying for it right now. I hated this. I
hated just being. I had screamed and punched out at everything possible. It
was hopeless. I got up from my position and sat forward. I had to find some
sort of shelter before night. I had to find one.

Hours passed with no result. This whole place was empty. I just laid back
and looked into the stars. They were bigger and a lot more intense. I didn't
know what to do. I started to move into a crawling position when something
grabbed my leg. I screamed and looked behind me. A hand was coming out from
the earth. I screamed again and tried to kick the hand off. It was no use. I
was weak, hungry, and tired. The hand started going under the dirt, and with
it, me. I struggled the whole time. I tried and reached for the bush, but it
just broke away from the ground. This was it. I was going to die here and
now.  I went under the surface and landed hard next to what seemed to be a
man with a gas mask and nuclear suit. I was terrified. I screamed again. I
started to cough really hard and then passed out, not before I saw huge city
in the dark...

Author's Note: This a new original story. I hope everyone liked it. Please
send me your comments and constructive criticism to
alexflores85@hotmail.com. I would love to hear from you all. Other stories
I've written: Alone (High School), The Sessions (High School), and Struggle
For A Wish (Fantasy/Sci Fi)