Date: Sat, 27 Feb 2010 21:12:22 -0500 From: ainsleystories@cox.net Subject: Diary of a mad man Chapter 4 While the usual disclosures apply, I do like to hear from readers and yourE-mails are welcomed. The story was a little slow in getting started when it came to the sex part, but I felt that it was more important to get the story started on the correct foot. Feel free to write and tell me what you think. You can contact me at ainsleystories@cox.net. All characters in the story are 18 years old or older. If you can read between the lines of the story and where the plot is going, this story will probably take a lifetime to complete, but it should be interesting. Take care. CHAPTER 4 This diary will take ten or eleven thousand years to compile and write if I spell out all of the details for you. I hope by now that you have a clear understanding that I was in love with Mikal and I hoped that he was in love with me. I am not getting tired of writing, but whoever reads this must be getting tired of reading about my gods. I studied with Mack every day in the morning after breakfast. Then at lunch time we ate together and in the afternoon We had exercises and fun athletic things to do. I learned about the division of time during the day and the names for everything or I could not be telling you all this in such detail. I do not remember all the details, but I could consult the records and that would refresh my memory. However, I have chosen not to do so because I would also awaken so many painful memories. I lived and learned among the gods. I slept with a god and made love to a god. I was in the only after life place that I had ever dreamed of where I had everything I could ever want and need. My family must have placed a lot of offerings for the gods in my grave for me to bring with me to this afterlife. I only miss my carved rock that my father had made for me when I was a small child. It as not much, but it was of one of our animals and I cherished it. It was not very big, but he made it for me. I always carried it with me for good luck on the hunt. My life with Mikal made up for missing my family and my friends. While I missed them I did not wish for them an early death just so that I could be with them. I did wonder why Mikal and I were the only ones here in this afterlife. However, when I was with Mikal, I did not worry much about anything but him. I will take the time to explain our love life because for me it was the only reason and justification for me to continue to dwell in the land of the gods. I was in love with a god and I would never leave him. What other justification did I need for the rest of eternity? Maybe I should have questioned why he was with me as I did not know him during life and I had never heard of him as a god either in name or his likeness anywhere. It was several days later when we were resting after dinner and we were watching the moving pictures on a flat wall like Mack had shown me at first. Only these pictures covered the entire wall of the sleeping room. If you looked at the wall with both eyes then the figures looked as if they were right there in the room with you. Mikal explained that this was a type of picture that was made with light and was not really there. He had me walk up to it and put my hands on the people and my hands went right through the people. He said that just like a shadow was cast by me in the sun the pictures were cast by machines like Mack for us to look at. It quickly became our favorite thing to do after dinner each day. We would go into the bathing room and get cleaned up for the evening after our exercise. We did not clean up for dinner because we usually ate out at the place we exercised or did not take the time to bathe until after we ate. Mikal said we could do that so that we would have more time for us together after dinner. We would eat dinner and I could smell him during dinner. He smelled wonderful. I wanted some nights to eat him for dinner. He smelled so clean and his sweat made me hungry for him. I did not know why except that I would have licked his entire body clean and he did not need to bathe. We never did not bathe after dinner. Bathing with Mikal was too much fun not to do every night and any chance we had. Sometimes we would kiss before and then I got to lick and suck on his breasts. It was these times that I could taste him. That was when I knew that I wanted him for dinner some time. I even liked the smell of his god root at these times. He was always clean, but it had a smell of him that was stronger at these times and I wanted to taste his stronger smell and eat him up. I almost could not control myself. Each night we played different games while we bathed. This one time he took some soap from the thing that put it in his hands and he had the water rope put out a mist. He soaped up my man root and then he told me he wanted me to make love to him. I just assumed he wanted me to suck on his god root, but he didn't. He told me that he wanted me to make love to him as if he was a woman. I told him that was not possible as he did not have a slit or hole in front, he had his god root there instead. He was a male and not a female. He just smiled. Mikal turned around and held me close to him. We kissed and he said that he did not want me to hurt him, but that the first time I did it to him it would probably hurt him a lot. He said that he had never had anyone do this to him, but he wanted to feel me inside of him and he would bear the pain. I had no idea what he was talking about. I had lived only 14 seasons even though he told me I had lived 18 seasons. I only remember 14 as you count. He said he counted those 4 seasons that I slept while they healed my body and taught my body to be able to repair itself forever. I guess I just did not believe him. He said that he was as old as I was, but he only looked about 14 seasons too. His body had been changed to always look the same age as mine. He said that the best way to handle any questions if they came up in the future was to say that we were brothers. We were born at the same time and that I was the oldest by about a little bit of a day. I dismissed the thought as I cared not what others thought. I learned, however, that it would make a difference. Mikal placed more soap on my man root and then he pushed me against the hard wall. He told me to please not move. This was going to hurt him and he could bear the pain if only he could control it. I still did not know what he was telling me, but I followed his instructions completely. He then turned around and his back was toward me. I reached around him and held his body close to mine. I liked this lovemaking. He reached down and guided my man root to his hole and placed it at the entrance to his hole. He then moved me around and I could feel the very end pushing against his tiny hole and Mikal pushing back against me. He would pull away and then back against me. Each time he would run his hands over me and make sure there was lots of soap on me. He must have done this for longer than I thought I could tolerate. I wanted to push into him, but I did not because I did not want to hurt him. However, each time he pushed against me a little more of me went into his hole. I could tell that his hole must never have had anyone inside of it. When I had used my tongue the other day I remember that it was so tight I could barely get my tongue inside of him even just a little. Mikal did this to me and it was feeling very good. I was very hard and finally one time I could feel that most of me went inside of Mikal. This was unlike anything I had felt before. I grabbed my arms around him and held him to me. I did not push myself all the want into him as I did not want to hurt him. We stayed like that for a very long time. I was content to hold him in my arms and kiss his neck and play with his ears with my mouth. He turned and we kissed. He pushed back finally and I was completely inside of him. He was warm and hot and it felt like I was at home. Now I knew what the other men felt when they made love to their women. Mikal stayed locked in my embrace and the more we kissed the harder I got. I reached around and felt that his god root was hard too. He must like the feeling of my man root inside of him. I know that I did. Finally he said that I should move inside of him. I should push into him and pull back, but never come completely out of him as it might hurt too much to push back into him. I slowly started to move. I was making love to my god and it gave me feeling that were beyond belief. I was in control of Mikal and I was going to plant my seed inside of him jus like my friends did with their women. I had tried that, but did not find it fun or pleasing. This, I liked. Mikal was very tight and I could feel everything so much. I held his body in my arms and we kissed as I made love to him. It would not take long and soon I would plant my seed. When it was going to happen, Mikal reached around me and brought my hand to his god root. He moved my hand over him and I gathered what he wanted me to do for him. I moved as skillfully as I knew how and I caused him to spill his seeds. When he gave me his seeds in my hands, I could feel his body tighten up around me and that caused me not to be able to make this last any longer. I immediately gave him my seeds and planted them deep inside of him. I hugged him to me and we kissed as we both gave our seeds to each other. Me, I planted mine in his little hole and he gave me his in my hands. I could do this every day and night for the rest of eternity. If we never did anything else but kiss and hold each other I could be happy planting my seeds inside of my god of lover forever. Apparently he liked it too. When I softened a little I gradually came out of him. I turned him around and hugged his body close to mine and told him that I loved him and wanted to be with him for the rest of eternity. I was so happy that tears of joy were streaming down my face. He looked at me and was sad. "If only that were true. I could be happy with you forever." "Why do yo not believe me that it is true? I will love you forever. I never want you to leave me and I will never leave you." I looked into his eyes and he now shed some tears. "If only that were true, then we could be happy forever. I love having you plant your seeds in me and making me give you my seeds." I held him and now I really was frightened. "Why do you not believe me and what I tell you?" "I do believe you. But forever is a very long time. Do you think that you will fell that way ten seasons from now." How could he question my love? "Yes. I know I will. I love you so much and forever." "What about ten times ten seasons? Will you still love me then?" "Of course." "And what about then times ten times ten times ten seasons? Will you still love only me then?" I thought about it and nobody lived that long. Then I remembered that I was already dead. There were no other gods here with me and I would love Mikal forever. "May I remind you of that one day with some other young man catches your eye and you want to plant your seeds in him or to play with him and forget about me." "Never will I tire of you. That is a promise I make to you now." I was telling the truth. "I can understand for the first hundred or even thousand seasons, but after that, I wonder." I did not understand the words he used for the number of seasons. I understood that he meant a very long time and I was happy with that. I would never stop loving him and never find anyone to love more than Mikal. I was worried that he did not love me like I loved him. He continued. "You can not understand. I was made just for you and if you ever fall out of love with me, it would destroy me. Adem, I love you with all of my heart and will do anything to please you until the end of time itself." I believed him. I did not care: I loved him the same. When time would end, if ever, then I would worry about that then. For me, time ended when I died. We finished bathing and then we went to the sleeping room and watched some moving pictures that Mack had for us to watch. I think it was a story of how the gods created the earth and put the animals and the people on the earth. It really did not make sense to me, but I was happy because I was watching it while holding Mikal. He was cuddled up next to me and his back was toward me. We watched and I fell asleep in this position. We had the cloths covering us some and when I woke up later I could hear Mikal sleeping and making funny noises that people make when they are sleeping. I held him tight to me and I felt safe and happy. All night long I held Mikal and in the morning I awoke to him reaching behind himself and grabbing me. I was hard and he was playing with my man root. It felt good. I really liked this. He then reached over to the box next to the bed and grabbed something. He put some on his hand and then he brought it back to me. It was slippery like the soap he had us use when we bathed. He rubbed it on me and then he guided me to his hole again. "I am sore Adem, but I want you again this morning. Will you please make love to me again." I could not believe my ears. I had hoped that we could do this again, but to have him ask me again so soon I was so happy that he liked it. "My love. For you I would do anything." I replied. He guided me to his hole and told me to gently push and he would push back. I did so and I could feel his hole slowly opening up to receive my man root. I did like he did yesterday and I moved in and out very slowly and could feel that the slippery stuff he put on me was causing me to become slippery again each time I pulled back some. Over and over I did this and I could feel that each time I gained more entrance into my love. Then one time he pushed back so hard that I felt certain that I must have hurt him. I went all the way inside of him and it was wonderful all over again. I could live like that inside of his tight little hole that seemed to only be there to give me pleasure. We were laying on our sides and I again began the back and forth motion like I did while we were standing up yesterday in the bathing room. This time I was not in as big of a hurry as I was then. Now we had as long as we needed to get me to plant my seeds in my love and let him know how much I loved him. He turned his head and we kissed again. Only this time I held his upper body with my arms and hands and reached around and felt his breasts. In particular I felt his nipples that had become very hard under my fingers. I sucked on his mouth and face and ran my tongue all over his face. I wanted to taste him everywhere. This was what I had wanted and craved, but never found with a woman or girl. This is what all my friends had told me was so wonderful. They had fallen in love and wanted me to do the same and told me that when it happened I would know it was real and never wanted it to end. I had my arms under his arms and held him. He had reached back and was holding my head in his hands. His upper body was twisted and we kissed the entire time. I could feel him tighten up and then relax on my man root and it was great. This time I knew what was happening and I could slow down when I got closer to planting my seeds in Mikal. I wanted this to take all day if I could. I would speed up and then slow down. Over and over it happened that way. I do not know how long this continued, but I know that it was a very long time when compared to yesterday. Mikal was holding me when suddenly he became very rigid and his body no longer met my thrusts. He just lay there no moving. I could feel him almost screaming very softly in my arms and into my mouth that was locked on his. I pulled my lips back and asked him if he was all right. He told me he was getting ready to spill his seeds and that I should keep on doing what I was doing. It did not take long and soon I felt his hole close down on me as his entire body shook. He had not removed his hands from holding my head. His body shook many times and he said that his seeds had come from his body and it gave him great pleasure. I still had not planted my seeds. I did not know that anyone could spill their seeds without using their hands, something like a friend's hole as I was using Mikal, or a woman's female thing where the babies came from. I knew that a man planted his seeds there and then if the gods so willed it, a baby would grow inside of the woman and later after about 9 or 10 moons, the baby would come forth from the woman. I just did not know that a man could give his seeds just from another man placing his man root in his little hole and moving it back and forth. I did not know that the man whose hole had been entered liked the feeling enough for him to give his seeds up without him even touching his man root. Maybe this only happened to the gods and not to mortal men. However, I had not planted my seeds yet and I continued the back and forth movement. Mikal hugged me and begged me to continue what I was doing because it felt so good to him. I certainly did not want to disappoint Mikal and I knew that I was not going to stop unless Mikal asked me to stop. The feeling was so wonderful that I wanted it to never end. I was getting a little tired, but I liked this kind of tired. It was more exercise than swimming and even riding the bicycles that Mikal had shown me. It was like walking on my hands and knees. Thank the gods that we were on a soft bed and laying on our sides so that I only had to move my hips back and forth. I was so happy and the feelings I had for Mikal were so strong. I ran my hands all over his body and started biting him lightly on his neck and then I even lifted his arm and began to chew on the hairs under his arm. He tasted so good. I did not think that I would ever do that to anyone, but I could not help myself. I wanted everything about Mikal to touch my lips. I would have bent over and sucked on his man root it I could have reached it. I reached down with my hands and felt his low hanging appendages between his legs. I felt compelled to touch and fondle his very soft places and tease him down there. It was nice to feel him. I could also feel the sticky stuff that had been his baby seeds and I rubbed it all over him. All too soon it dried on him and made it difficult to rub him. He handed me the slippery stuff and I put some on my hands. When I rubbed him he became hard again. I was really having fun. I knew that all too soon my fun would end because I was getting ready to give Mikal my baby seeds and I could not stop my eventual arrival at my destination. The place where I would push myself into him faster and faster and then give him my baby seeds inside of his hole. I pushed and pulled myself in and out of him and I could feel my man root getting harder and harder. All too soon I felt myself finally getting almost numb with pleasure and then I pushed harder and harder into him. My body made me push into him and stay as far inside of him as possible as I felt myself reach such ecstasy and I knew that my body was giving my seeds to him. I reached for him again and we kissed. I told him that I loved him and wanted to do this to him every day if possible. Two or three times a day if he wanted it would be nice too. Mikal just laughed and said that I could do it anytime I wanted to do it to him. I just had to ask to let him know that I desired him. He said that he was here to please and to teach me. We lay like that for some time and I held him in my arms. I think I even fell asleep again. When I awoke later I was still holding Mikal and I was still inside of him. I do not know how that was possible because after my baby seeds come from me I usually get very small. Perhaps because I was still holding mikal my body was still interested in him. I was almost hard. Mikal must have felt me moving around and he asked me if I was feeling better. I laughed and told him I felt great. I was also getting hard again. He moved around on me some and I was instantly hard again. Mikal told me it was all right and we could do it again. I was so happy to hear that. I asked him if he was sore and he said that it was not a pain, just an ache and it was getting better. I asked him what would make it better. He smiled and said that if I would rub it, then he would feel better. I asked him to move so I could reach down and rub him. He laughed and said that he wanted me to rub him with my man root just like I had done earlier. The gods really did like me. We lay there and Mikal reached back and rubbed my body. That made me feel really good and I wanted to rub him there so I moved back and forth again. It was feeling really good and I knew that I really liked this part. I was worried because when we awoke and before we had made love it was the time we normally got up and had some lessons before we did our exercises. I asked him if we would get in trouble for not getting up and learning our lessons for today. I was really worried. He told me that today, we would learn about love. I told him I knew all about love. I loved him and I really didn't need to learn anything else. He turned his head and kissed me. I would have moved back and forth inside of Mikal and made love to him for the entire day, but he said that he was going to show me something new. I told him this was fine and I really liked this. He assured me I would like what he was going to show me even better. I hesitated and he pulled off of me. He rolled over and then lay on his back. He opened his legs for me and told me to stand on my knees between his legs. I did and he raised his legs and told me to hold them up with my arms. He then told me to place my man root at his hole and to slowly push it inside of him. I did this and I think he was even tighter than when we were lying down. I looked up at Mikal's face. He was smiling at me and he pulled my face to his. We kissed like this and I realized that I really liked what we were doing now. Then I realized that we were doing the same thing we had done before, we had only changed our position. He was right, in this position I could kiss him and lick his face and kiss all different parts of his body. I was wild with my lust for him. It burned inside of me for him. Then my mouth found his nipple and I sucked and chewed on it. It became very hard and Mikal told me to suck on it ant then the other one. I wanted this to last for a long time, but my body was getting ready to shoot my seeds again. I felt Mikal moving around and then he told me that exactly in this position it felt the best for him. I could feel that when I pushed into him his body was at exactly the right angle and I slid into him so perfectly. Yet, even that perfection had a slight imperfection. Just as I pushed in I could feel a slight bump on the inside of him. I noticed that each time I hit that bump he would smile and move his head about. I mentioned this to him and he said that little bump was the spot inside of him that made him feel good and each time I rubbed it was similar to the feeling that I got when I pushed into him or pulled out of him. Only he could feel it and did not have to move or even touch himself to feel good. I held him in my arms and we kissed and I pushed and pulled myself into and out of his body and then my back straightened out and I felt my lower part of my body start to tingle and I knew that soon I would give Mikal my man seeds into his god body another time in this so very short time. When I did this I reached down and put more slippery stuff on Mikal and I moved my hands up and down on his god root and I knew that he needed this to feel so good that he gave me his seeds again today. When Mikal tensed up, his hole became so tight that I could not help giving him my seeds quicker than I had expected. I thrust into him over and over again and then I was compelled to hold myself deep inside of him as I finished giving him my seeds. We kissed this entire time. Then I collapsed on top of him and I could feel myself sliding out of him. In this position I could not stay inside of my lover easily. I was trying to roll off of Mikal and he held me and whispered to me to stay put as he loved the feel of my weight on him. He felt safe and secure under me. He said that this is where he belonged. I know that I belonged in his arms and I lay my head next to his and remember falling asleep again. When I woke later, Mikal was up at the desk and using his hands to press the keys on the flat place in front of Mack and the screen was lit. I got up and Mikal led me to the bathing room and entered the box with the water rope. We cleaned each other up and I made sure at Mikal's direction that I had cleaned out all of the slippery stuff I had used to easily enter him earlier. He made sure my hole was clean too. I wanted to be clean for him because if we licked and sucked on each other as we had done before I wanted to be ready for him. I remember that it had felt so good and I never knew that anything could feel so wonderful. We made love again later in the day and watched another moving picture story on the wall. I did not care, I was holding Mikal the entire time and that was all that mattered. Our days and nights continued like that for a long time. We made love whenever I wanted it and I watched moving pictures that told stories. I really did not believe in many of the stories, but Mack would ask me questions about the stories and if I got them wrong I had to watch the story over again. I soon learned to pay attention. Sometimes Mikal and I would go riding the bicycles and we would stop along the way and sit under a nice tree and have a meal that we had brought with us. We never once saw any other people or anyone around us. After our meal I would rub his leg or part of his body and he asked me if I wanted him. Of course I said yes. He then removed any clothing I had and removed his and we would lie under the tree and make love. I could hear the leaves moving about and even hear the birds singing their songs to each other. Once when we made love we were by a little stream and I could hear the water running over the rocks. Mikal always had the slippery stuff with him and I would use it. We made love lying down. We made love standing up and leaning against a tree. We made love where he leaned over one of the bicycles and we made love anywhere and everywhere. I was in love. I only hoped that he was too. More important I believed that he was in love. He had brought a small screen that he said was a portable device that allowed Mack to be with us when we turned it on. He would turn it on and Mack would show us moving pictures and all sorts of things to entertain us. Sometimes the pictures were on the flat surface and sometimes they could be right there with us. I could put my hands through the pictures, but we could see them if the sun was not too bright. In the shade of a tree or a big rock it was fine. All we had to do was to turn the screen so that it did not face into the sun. For what Mikal said were many seasons I learned and studies with Mikal and Mack. Mostly with Mack I listened and Mikal and I talked and discussed things. Gradually I learned that I had not died and I was still alive. Finally one day I accepted that as a real idea. That was called a fact. Mikal finally showed me pictures of what my rescue looked like. It was horrible. I did not even still look exactly like I had before I was injured. I looked nicer. I was all right before the bore got to me, but now I was perfect. My teeth were good before, but now they were perfect. I had some scars before where I had been injured, but now I had none. I was like the picture of a god, I looked perfect. They had take me and healed me. I had slept for about 4 seasons while my body completely healed. When I had been allowed to wake, I still looked as if I had only lived 14 seasons, but I had really lived 18 seasons. It was now another two seasons and I had learned quite a lot. I questioned Mikal why they all went to such trouble to heal me and who were they. I asked mikal again if he was a god or a man like me. He started to cry. I didn't want to upset him. "Don't cry, Mikal. I love you and no matter what you tell me: I will love you." I held him in my arms. "I have been afraid of this day since you first woke up." "I will love you no matter who you are. I can not believe that you are a monster and to me you are a god." I held him even closer. He began to cry as he talked to me. "I am a man just like you." He looked up at me. "In fact I am you." He looked down as if in shame. "That can not be. Sure, we look similar and could be brothers. But if my parents had had another son, I would have known. You are about my age, but you know so much more. I would be proud to call you my brother and my lover." Now he burst out in to tears. "You are right, as I am both your brother and your lover." I looked at him in shock. "That is not possible; is it?" I didn't know and with all the new and wondrous things I was learning I just did not know. "The reason you were saved is that they had been raising me from the time that you were born. You're special and your special make up inside each and every little part of you." "You mean that genetic stuff that Mack talks about." "That's it, Adem. Your genetic make up was calculated to be near perfect when you were born. When they found you as a baby, some of your cells were taken and I was grown from your cells. It is called a clone." "But you don't look exactly like me. We are too different. If you were my brother I would understand. But you are not me as we are too different. I think if it is possible, you are even prettier than I could even hope to be." "Nevertheless, I am you. I was made to look slightly different so that we could pass for brothers, but I would not be confused for you. Our genetic makeup is identical, but I was given some additional shaping medically to look slightly different from you. I was taken and educated while you were raised by your parents. I was made to be like you and to fall in love with you." "You mean that you don't love me all on your own. You love me because you have to." Now he could sense that I was hurt. "No. I love you Adem. I love you from the bottom of my heart to and with every part of my body. I love you and that you must believe. They knew that you would have this drive, this feeling to be with another man and not a woman. They needed that for their purposes. I got that need from you and I have it too. They did not force you or me to feel this way. For us it is natural and we really are this way. We have not met anybody else so that we could find our pleasure with each other. I am sorry to tell you this because now you may not like me. It is so hard for me because I do love you." I was in shock. I didn't know what to say. For a very long time Mikal cried silently and then I reached out and held him. We lay down on the cloth we had spread on the ground and I held him as he cried to himself. I kissed away his tears and the we made love again. This time when we kissed I felt even closer to Mikal and he hugged me so hard I thought I might not be able to breathe properly. Our lovemaking was so wonderful. When it was over, I asked him why he thought I might not love him anymore. He confided in me that in a few more seasons we would go out among people and I might find some other young man that caught my fancy and I might desire him and leave Mikal to go to that other young man. I promised him never. I would never leave him, my first and my only true lover. He said that forever was a very long time. Forever was not a season or two. It was not even twenty seasons. It was a group of twenty seasons that each had twenty seasons and that even those seasons had groups of twenty seasons in them. He said that it would go on like that and it would never end. I was confused, but I got the idea that it was a lot of seasons. I assured him that it did not matter. I would never leave him and I made that promise to him. He only shook his head and said the he would not hold me to that, but he loved me for saying it. Our days were pleasant and each day I learned more and more about the world. I learned about numbers and how to manipulate them. I could use them to figure out all sorts of things. We studied how numbers could be used to measure things and how to label things and I learned how to read and write. I did not know, but I would learn how to read and write over and over again as the letters, the words and the language evolved over the ages. For now, I had learned to read and write the primitive language of my peoples that only the most holy and learned of men knew. I also learned the language and how to write and read the language of Mack or the peoples who built him. I learned the language of mathematics which is almost all numbers and does not have a language that is spoken. We studied almost every day, but some days we just had sex and went for rides and picnics as Mikal called them. We swam in the pond and sometimes in the stream on our rides. I learned to roller skate on a big flat surface that was in another room. I really liked that. I learned to dive from high places into the water and I learned to do many fun things. We had fun everyday and we had sex several times a day. Whenever I wanted sex, we stopped whatever we were doing and had sex. It was nice. I had everything I ever wanted and I had Mikal that was to say I had everything I ever wanted. DIARY STORY CHAPTER 4.doc REV 8/14/2008 COPYRIGHT THE PRACTICING NOTARY