I had gone too long without restful sleep, I had filled my head with pictures and information about Caleb, and now I was dreaming about him repeatedly because my subconscious picked up on something 'different' about it all. Maybe it was just my ego that was making me think that it meant something more. Who knows? Hell, I must have been sleeping pretty lightly over the last week or so, and today I got up and left the house even earlier than usual. That's why I'm unfocused. That's why I'm tired. I just....I need to go to sleep, and NOT think about him. That's what I need to do. Just NOT think about him anymore. If I can get him out of my head, then he won't exist anymore. And I can go back to having sweet dreams of cute celebrities begging me for sex every night. Yeah...that's what I'll do. I'll ignore him. The next time he shows up, and I'm aware of it....I'll push him aside, and just think of something else. How hard can it be? It IS my dream, afterall.
Sometime around lunch, April and Jeff caught up to me and were concerned when they came by my house this morning and nobody answered the door. Especially April. "You haven't been spazzing out over this Caleb Jordan thing again, have you?" She asked.
"No. No....really. It was....just some stupid dream. I talked to Chucky and I've just been making up big excuses for totally random events. I just need some sleep. That's all." I said.
"Hellooo? That's what I've been trying to TELL you."
Jeff looked me in the eyes, and I think he could tell that I wasn't totally convinced that this was all make-believe. At least, not as convinced as I pretended to be. He started to call me on it when Baxter came over to join us.
"I did it! I actually found out who my date for Cory's party is gonna be!" He said proudly.
"Well this should be interesting." April replied.
"Jessie Turner!" Baxter grinned. "She's hot, she's a cheerleader, she's not with her loser boyfriend anymore...it's perfect."
Jeff wrinkled his forehead. "Wow...I've got to admit, she's actually pretty high up on the standard list. You must have worked some real magic to get her to say yes."
"Well, I haven't actually ASKED her out yet...but when I do, she's all mine." He said. "Another hot babe to add to Baxter's list of future ex-girlfriends!"
That comment definitely got a swat in the arm from April, who purposely stepped in front of him with her back turned to block him out of the rest of our conversation. "I'm glad you got that craziness out of your system, Donnie. It'll be good to have you acting normal again."
Bax leaned in over her shoulder, and pointed a finger at me. "Hey, you owe me two bucks worth of gas money for driving over to pick you up this morning when you weren't there." Which got April to elbow him in the stomach.
"Alright, we're out of here. Are you riding home with us today?" Jeff asked me.
"Yeah, I'll meet you guys out back after school."
"Deal." They walked off to go to their next classes, and something about the ease with which I told them that everything was going to be ok....it soothed me. Maybe I was ok. Maybe I'll be ok when I sleep tonight. It would be so good to get myself balanced again.
They drove me home after school let out, and Bax went on and on about this Jessie Turner girl and all the wonderful things he was gonna do once he got her alone. Hehehe, April had to put her iPod earphones in and look out the window for the entire trip just to fight te urge to beat him to death with a blunt object. It was so funny, the way she could be so shocked by Baxter's womanizing comments, but could still separate them from every other lovable quality about him. She adored Baxter, we all did. And besides, his thoughts were always more entertaining than harmful. By the way, did I mention how turned on I was, hearing him talk about sex? I honestly think Jeff opened a Pandora's box by getting me to notice Bax as more than a good friend. Now I find myself thinking about the softness of his eyes, and the smooth skin on the sides of his neck, and his strong hands, and the way the fabric of his pants stretches so teasingly over his thighs. And did I mention the way his kissably pink lips perfectly matched the golden color of his hair? Bax was still Bax, don't get me wrong. But I still found myself gazing dreamily at him from time to time. I develop crushes on the strangest people sometimes.
Jeff and Baxter went back and forth about him actually asking Jessie Turner out before it was too late. The party was just a few days away afterall. And April was involved in her music at the moment. So as I sat back, still tired from the day, the quiet hum of the car and the scrolling scenery around us, I closed my eyes for a second to keep them from burning. I didn't sleep, I could still hear everything going on around me, but it felt good to give my dry eyes a rest. Soooo good. "What do you think, Donnie?" Baxter asked.
"Think about what?"
"Do you think I can get Jessie to give me a handjob on the first date?"
I couldn't help but giggle to myself. "Hehehe, dude...don't even involve me in that plan of action. Not on any level."
"You guys are such pussies. I thought gay men were supposed to be sensitive." He said.
Jeff laughed, "What the hell is there to be 'sensitive' about when it comes to getting a handjob on the first date from a girl you hardly know?"
"I've got all NIGHT to get to 'know' her...and then, AFTER the date, while we're kissing and making out someplace quiet, I figure...if I just unzip my jeans and bring out the 'baloney pony', she might kinda just...you know...gimmee a little beef tug." Suddenly, April sprang forward from the back seat and smacked Baxter hard on the side of the head. "OWWW! What the fuck, April? I'm DRIVING!"
"You are SUCH a pig, Baxter Trent! You know that?"
Baxter rubbed the side of his head, grinning a bit. "Jesus...hehehe! I thought you couldn't hear me with those things on."
"Of COURSE I can hear you! As if me NOT hearing you would be much of an excuse!" April said, giving him another shove as he apologized with a smirk.
"I'm SORRY! I'm sorry! Geez..."
She pouted for a moment as Jeff, Baxter, and I, all looked at each other with goofy smiles on our faces. We all wanted to say something, but we knew the next person to open their mouth was gonna get slapped, big time. She looked over at me while I tried to keep a straight face. "Oh I see, you think this is funny, do ya?"
"No...I just remember how much fun you used to be before you became a 'girl' on us." She reached over and pinched my arm as I pulled away from her, but was happy to see a grin return to her lips. Albeit a frustrated one.
Then she looked out the window and mumbled to herself, "If that girl gives you a handjob on the first date, I swear to God, I'm gonna break her arms."
Which Bax followed up with, "If that girl gives me a handjob on the first date, you can photograph it and I'll let you put it in the yearbook...and THEN you can break her arms."
That reminded me, "Oh yeah, the yearbook thing! How did that go yesterday? Did you get in?"
"Don't even get me started on that." She huffed.
Jeff told me, "It seems that the results are coming in a bit late while they try to decide which ones they want, and all of the pictures haven't even been turned in yet. So now our little shutterbug has to wait until Friday."
She grinded her teeth a bit, saying, "I've been on pins and needles about this project for God knows how long. And now I have to wait until Friday because some procrastinating slackers decided to wait until the last minute to get their shit in. Like I NEED more frustration in my life right now."
"You almost say that like you won't get the green light." I assured her, and she gave me a simple half smile. "Come on. You KNOW you're in. You're pictures are awesome, I'm sure they noticed that. So...quit worrying about it and just wait for them to tell you how great you are. Alright?"
"Heh...look who's telling somebody to stop worrying." She said, but I saw a playful blush in her cheeks anyway.
Bax's car came to a stop in front of my house, and he said, "James' residence. You...out!" I guess it doesn't get much more simple than that. I climbed out of the back seat and waved goodbye to everybody in the car. For a while there, I almost felt...normal again. How cool is that? Finally getting back to yourself. I must have seemed so crazy to them over the last week. I seriously have got to a get a grip.
Dinner with my parents that night was a bit strange. Whatever weirdness my dad thinks I have about this house, he evidently passed it on to my mom in some sort of private conversation before dinner. A few questions were asked about whether or not I was happy with the move, or if I was feeling homesick for our old house. It's not like we moved to Phoenix or anything. And since Bax has a car, I can see my friends pretty much anytime that I want to. I didn't know why that would be an issue. But they're 'parents', and I'm a teenager, and we've kinda reached that stage where we just don't know what the hell to do with one another. The only difference is, I'm not the one trying. Sheesh, the quicker I'm done with dinner, the better.
I went upstairs and started yawning pretty early. I guess after so many days of me having trouble sleeping, it was to be expected. I finished all of my homework except for one little piece that I was sure I could finish in study hall tomorrow. And there really wasn't any reason for me to stay up, so I told my parents goodnight and climbed into bed. I knew that they could see the dark circles forming under my eyes. When I looked in the bathroom mirror that night, even I had to stare at them. They were getting dark. Layered. My eyes didn't even look the same. I hope that goes away. Otherwise, I'm gonna end up looking 80 by the time I reach my 18th birthday.
I turned out the light next to my bed, and relaxed myself into the comfortable sheets and blankets that surrounded me. My spirit was already being dragged into the depths of sleep, and there was a few bief moments...where I was scared to let it take me. I didn't know what to expect. But that fear only kept my eyes open for a few minutes longer. It couldn't keep me awake forever. Not by a long shot.
I woke up with a bit of a stretch, my face frowned up as I realized that I had been yanked out of my sleep by an annoying noise. That pounding. That repetitive thump, thump, thumping on the other side of my bedroom wall. Right behind my headboard, it seemed. I tried to roll over in bed and not pay it any attention, but it only got louder. I felt the burn of frustration entering my bloodstream as I attempted to figure out what the hell that was. Thump...like a rock hitting the wall. Thump...like someone throwing it deliberately to create some kind of goddamned ruckus. Thump....followed by the familiar roll on the hard wood floor, as the ball bounced right back to the hand of its owner. Finally, I couldn't take anymore, and I sat straight up in my bed.
I rubbed my eyes, still hearing the sound, and put my hand against the wall to see if I could feel any vibrations. Nothing. I looked at the clock, and it clicked over to read 3 AM on the dot. Sighhhh, great. Just fucking great. I put my robe on and figured I'd see what the noise was about.
I walked out into the hall to hear my parents snoring in their bedroom, the door closed. I put on a robe on as the late October air chilled the hallway around me. It takes forever to heat this damn house. It's like.....it's....
And then, a moment of clarity. I've seen this before. I've done this before. My mind had fallen into its unusual pattern of dream logic...but I suddenly found myself fully awake again...within the dream. But something was different about it this time. More clear. More concrete. My so-called control over what was happening was completely nonexistant. I was merely a witness. A prisoner of the images surrounding me. And it was then that I remembered what's been happening to me every week at this same time. Late Tuesday night, early Wednesday morning...at 3 AM.
The thumping noise continued, even louder than last week...which was louder than the week before. And as always...as soons as I passed a certain point in the hallway, my bedroom door slammed shut, and the sound began to emanate from behind my wall instead. I turned around to investigate the noise further, my bare feet shuffling nervously across the floor. Just as before, the sound seemed to be slowing down as I approached...and then, the familiar scratch and pop of old vinyl, and that haunting song in the background.
"Somewhere, someday...we'll be close together, wait and see. Oh, by the way...this time the dream's on me..."
I listened at the door, and heard the sniffles once again, a boy crying from his very soul. Lost, heartbroken, alone. You could practically feel the pain through the door. And then...something different was added to the recipe this time around. The sound of footsteps. Heavy ones. But not coming from behind the door. No, these footsteps were coming up the stairs, right towards me. I went over to the railing to see if I could see anybody, but I didn't. Instead, I saw foot shaped wetspots appearing on every step. First one, then another, then another...climbing their way up to where I was standing. My heart seemed to stop beating entirely, and I heard my bedroom door begin to slowly creak open as the steps reached the top of the staircase. I panicked, running to the other end of the hall where my parnts room was! I banged on the door with my fist, trying desperately to turn the knob, but it remained locked. "MOM! DAD! LET ME IN!!! PLEASE!!!" The footsteps reached the top of the stairs and I watched as blood began to drip from the walls around me. "LET ME IN!!!" There was no use trying to escape, so I did everything I could to change the dream around me. I tried to place myself somewhere else, tried to think of another person, tried to focus on something that would bring an end to this nightmare...but the harder I tried, the tighter the dream wrapped itself around me. The walls began to shake as I used all the brain power I had to regain some kind of control, to break through the barrier and stop what was taking place. But I don't think this was my dream anymore. Not in this place.
A howling shriek seemed to travel right through the very walls of the house, my vision blurring from the quake beneath my feet. There was this feeling inside...so much pain...neverending torment. I couldn't bear it. I could hardly stand. There were screams flooding the hallway, and the lights began to blink on and off, an ice cold wind frosting my lips and fingertips as I sank to the floor, shivering in a corner. I can stop this. I can stop it. The blood was being frozen to the walls, forming long red drips that hardened and cracked and fell to the floor in razor sharp shards of ice. This is my dream. I have control. This is MY dream. I have control. This is...
With a jolt, I felt my awareness slammed back into my sleeping body, and I awoke with a gasp. It was daylight outside, morning, and I was back in my bed safe. I looked at the clock, and it was exactly three minutes before my morning alarm was going to go off. I made sure to feel the mattress with my finger tips, feel the sheets, listen out for any strange noises. Everything seemed real enough. The dream had been so vivid that I could still feel the chill in my fingers, could still feel the vibrations from the shaking house in my chest. I sat up and stared down at the floor for a few minutes, unable to really merge myself back into reality just yet. Then, I jumped suddenly as my alarm went off loudly beside me. It scared the living SHIT out of me, and I pounded on it, knocking it off of my bedside dresser. It took a moment for my breathing to calm down. But little by little, my senses returned, and I struggled to get back up on my feet.
I didn't tell April and the guys anything about what happened last night. I was trying to tone the whole 'freakazoid' vibe down as much as possible. I had my friends again, things were normal. We made jokes, we laughed, we took shots at each other at every given opportunity...this is what I wanted. This is what I missed. So I didn't ruin it with talk of the dream from last night. Chucky was right, all I had to do was try harder to break free from it. The more I think about it, the worse it's gonna get. So I ignored my every memory of it. Blocked it out. Kept it from invading my space. I don't think I've ever been so focused on my school work.
"Hey, Donnie." I heard his voice before I got a chance to see him, but once I looked in his direction, my insides began to squirm and I had to casually lean against the lockers to keep from wiggling away from him. "What's up?"
"H-h-hey, Austin." I replied, trying hard to hide my dreamy smile from him. God...being surprised with even the most mundane of comments from him was such an amazing rush. One of his blond curls was hanging down over his forehead, brushing over one of his light blue eyes like a soft golden noodle. The urge to brush that one stray curl out of his aqua blue pools was almost unbearable.
"So, we're still on for Friday night, right?" He asked me. Wow...his teeth are so white. And his smile is so...soooo...oh man.
"Um...yeah. Hehehe, definitely." I sighed. My knees were literally buckling. The lockers were the only thing really holding me up. "So...like...when should we pick you up?"
"Well, I kinda got track practice after school. The coach is kinda putting pressure on us to not slack off on the weekends. So I have to do my laps and stuff first." He had the cutest voice ever created, you know that? And his breath smelled so sweet. "But I'll still get done pretty early. So...as soon as I go home and shower and get all dressed up...I should be ready. Maybe about 7:30 instead of seven." Omigod...he's gonna shower! Like, warm water and soap, glistening and sliding down over his hot naked body...candy scented shampoo running down his backside and between the sweet cheeks of his wet naked ass...dripping off of his 'equipment'....everything being all loose and wet....and tasty... "So...is that ok, or...?" He asked me as my mind involved itself in a passionate frenzy of extracurricular activities.
"Huh?" I said, mentally smacking myself in the head. "Oh! Yeah! Dude, that's totally...fine. You...take all the shower you need." I said, and he gave me a weird look. "TIME! I meant to say...um...'time'. You take all the 'time' that you...uhh...yeah." I grinned with an embarrassing blush in my cheeks, and that's when Jeff sorta apeared out of nowhere and leaned against the locker right next to me. "Jeff! Um...hey!"
Jeff didn't even look at me, his gaze focused in on Austin's amazing blue eyes and didn't let go. "Hello." He said to him with a huge smile.
"Austin....this is my friend, Jeff. He's...he's coming with us too." I said, as Jeff continued to stare shamelessly at the curly blond boy in front of us.
"Yeah. I'm cumming too. Believe me." He grinned, practically batting his lashes at him.
"Cool. Well, it's good to meet you, man." Austin answered.
"And you have no IDEA how good it is to meet you, Austin." He said, and I would have nudged him hard in the gut with my elbow if Austin wasn't looking directly at us.
Austin reached in his notebook and tore a piece of paper in half, handing me the top part. "Here. It's got my name and number and everything on it." It was one of those printouts from the school library. They always made us type in our school ID number and printed out our name, address, and phone number, at the top of every first page we printed. I guess it's supposed to let people know who printed what...to deter us from downloading porn stories at school. Psh! Please! Just standing this close to Austin was all the porn I needed.
"Thanks." I grinned.
"Hehehe, yeah...thanks." Jeff repeated, tucking some of his dark hair behind his ear in a shameless attempt to flirt. Thank God Austin didn't make much of our gawking at him.
"Anyway, I've gotta go. But...like I said, I'll be quick, check out of track practice and get dressed up as soon as I can. Just give me a call on Friday when you guys are ready. Cool?" Austin nodded in Jeff's direction who was still ogling him for all he was worth.
"Yeah. Right after your...um...shower." I grinned. God, I can't believe I just said that again. Austin giggled a bit at my strangeness and walked off down the hall as I turned towards the lockers and just pressed my forehead against them, closing my eyes tight as I tried to contain my excitement.
"Omigod, dude...look at his ass! Look! LOOK!" Jeff whispered while frantically patting me on the shoulder. I didn't want to look at first, but I couldn't resist. I opened my eyes as Jeff looked on over my shoulder and caught a good sight of it in his jeans. Those sweet sweet melons...so ripe and so full. Just....tight, and round, and bouncing with the most playful movements while he walked away from us. Jeff and I both had to squeal at the same time as we dipped at the knees and fought to keep from screaming like a couple of pre-teen girls at a boyband concert. "Mmm, track practice has certainly done him a lot of good." Jeff said. "Oh wow, Donnie, you have seriously outdone yourself with this boy. His body is, like, BUILT for hot passionate man-sex!"
"Sigghhhhh....I KNOW!" I whined under my breath. "Dude, I am such a DORK in front of him, what the hell am I gonna do?"
"Give him to ME!" Jeff said immediately, still leaning over to see Austin disappear around the corner.
"Not a chance! Coward, hehehe! This is MY big fish, thank you very much."
"Shit, baby...I would suck him SOOOO hard!"
"Me too! Just grab onto his ass and just....mmmmph!" Just then, a couple of teachers walked past us and gave us a slightly offended look. I don't know if they actually knew what we were talking about, or if they just overheard our sexual statements and thought them innappropiate, but Jeff and I had to 'butch up' instantly. "And then...we could go watch...SPORTS!" I said, puffing out my chest a bit.
"Yeah..." Jeff grinned, deepening his voice. "...And renew my subscription to Maxim magazine. Sure are some hot chicks in there, man. With big ol' boobs!" The teachers didn't really stop to pay attention, but I had to turn to Jeff and laugh at his impression.
"Did you say Maxim magazine? Big ol' boobs? Hahahaha, dude...seriously....just stop..."
"What? That's a straight mag, isn't it?"
"You overdid it, man. Way over the top." I said and hoisted my backpack up to walk to my next class.
"That was over the top? Really? I'd like Maxim if I was straight." I didn't answer him, but he chased behind me anyway. "WELL, I WOULD! And guys call them 'boobs' don't they? Right? Or is it 'tits'? I should've said 'tits', right?"
"Hey! Come back! Hey, I can be hetero, too, dammit!"
The day went pretty well, considering the way I woke up this morning. Even though April was still biting her nails over the whole photo project thing, she anaged to suffer in silence for most of the day. It was one of those days where we just needed to leave her alone. Sometimes it's healthier to just let her worry herself silly than it is to make her deny the fact that she's stressing about it all. It's one of the very first personal things that I ever learned about her. When they dropped me off at my house that afternoon, I gave her a quick hug to let her know that I was well aware of her 'condition', but deliberately giveing her the space she needed. I think she appreciated the gesture. I could always tell by her smirk when she said goodbye what she was thinking inside. She couldn't hide it if she tried. I loved that about her. It was so....pure, you know?
I got out of the car and walked inside. I was really enjoying my return to a somewhat sane form of reality. No ghosts, no paranoia, no ranting and raving...just a teenage boy and his friends enjoying their high school experience. Dinner was much less awkward this time around. And going to sleep...even though I expected Caleb to try to take over once again, I went in with much more confidence that I had last time. I won't let him terrorize me. He's just a fucking part of my stupid subconscious, and this time, I'm not gonna let him burst in and sink his dream claws into me like he has in the past. No more. I went to sleep that night with a determination to be in total control. Enough is enough. It was an almost impossible task going to sleep that night, simply because I was so stubborn on the issue. But I eventually drifted off, ready to do battle with any entity that came my way. You want to go blow for blow for control of my fucking dream domain, Caleb? Ok....let's do it, then.
Once I fell asleep, I carried that same attitude with me into the dream. I was aware of what was happening almost instantly, and I refused to give in. I refused. I found myself waking up on my front lawn, the sun shining down upon me, the sky as blue as it possibly could be. I didn't fall in to dream logic, I knew exactly where I was and what was going on. It felt good to know that I had a say in this whole experiment.
I stood up on my feet, and looked around, seeing the mist blocking my view from everything that wasn't a part of my house. Even the house across the street was lost in a foggy haze. But I stood strong, looking around, waiting for my so-called dream lover to make an appearance. Hopefully he doesn't mean to disappoint me now.
I didn't call his name, or even bother to push the mist back, for that matter. I simply waited. He'd be there.
I walked further along the street, the fog moving aside for me, until I began to see a grey silhouette in the distance. A boy with blond hair, and a baseball glove.
"Donnie...please don't be mad at me." His voice was so much softer, so much more sympathetic, than what I remembered from the last few times we met. "I know that...sometimes I get angry, and I get weird, but...I just...I love you soooo much. I'm scared to lose you again." I stopped walking when I was only a few feet away from him, and the fog had all but cleared the barrier between us. I saw Caleb's bright green eyes shining with a real sense of guilt for frightening me. He had such open expressions in his eyes, you could read his every emotion through them alone. But, as he waited for me to speak...I simply walked right around him instead. I think it confused him, but he turned and walked beside me anyway. All I have to do is ignore him, and he'll go away. That's it. He doesn't exist. None of this is real. If I just stop feeding him with attention, he won't be able to exist in this place anymore. And I'll be able to sleep again. "Donnie? Dude, where are we going?" He asked, but I didn't answer. I didn't even look in his direction. He kept talking, "I've been exploring a few things in here, figuring some things out. You know, it gets easier and easier to move around this place. The way you made it...it's just perfect." Still, no answer. "Well...I figured...maybe if you slept a little bit longer...I mean...I could...'help', if you want." Sleep longer? What was he talking about? "Donnie, I found a gateway. I could...I could pull you through. You can sleep...REALLY sleep. And then, you and I can stay in here together. Forever." Despite my determined walk and need to ignore him, there was something about that statement that seriously chilled me to the bone. "No more pain, Donnie. No more homework, no more expenses, no more nagging parents...just you and me. Together, we can make this place whatever we want it to be. Every minute we spend here could be an eternity. An eternity spent in love." He smiled, and leaned over to kiss me lightly on the cheek.
This time I stopped walking. "Don't you have a baseball game to get to, Caleb?" I said.
His smile dropped dramatically. He looked down at his glove, still holding a bloodstained baseball in its grip, and he tossed it to the ground. "I hate baseball. I don't care what 'he' says, I'm not joining the team." The glove bounced slowly off of the imaginary concrete, and floated up again as if there were no gravity surrounding it. "I need you to love me, Brett. This wasn't just some stupid internet fling, I TRUSTED you. I believed in you. In us." I had lost him again. Or...maybe he had lost himself. It might have seemed like a completely crazy theory at the time, but I was beginning to think that Caleb was losing his grip on his own reality. The same way I had been confused in school Monday. It's like...the closer our two worlds get, the more his reality and mine were beginning to merge in to one surreal existence that wasn't really sane for either one of us to be in. Wherever he was, wherever he was from, he seemed to be losing his hold on it completely. Just as I was losing my hold on mine. Our only middleground...was the dream.
I looked at him closely for a minute, but remembered what Chucky told me. Don't encourage it. Don't even acknowledge it. This has to stop, and I have to get myself right again. If Caleb wants to stay, he can't do it in my dream world. I turned my back on him and closed my eyes, transporting myself back to my front lawn. I created a warm sunbeam that coasted down through the clouds and covered my house in a dazzling shaft of light. Caleb appeared beside me only seconds later. "Do you wanna play a game?" He asked, but I stepped away from him. Change the weather, change the location...take my control back. "Donnie? Talk to me." I changed the day time sky into night, and with a little concentration...I felt a few snowflakes fall on my shoulders. Caleb got even more confused. He can't do it, can he? He can't stop me from changing things. It's still my world. My subconscious. He's just 'visiting'. "I don't like this. What are you doing?" He asked.
Without saying another word, I walked into the front door of my house, and shut it behind me, right in his face. He's powerless. Completely powerless. I heard Caleb knocking at the window, calling my name, asking me what was wrong, telling me he was sorry and that he loved me. But I didn't listen. Not at all. Ok...somebody else to focus on. A strong image. Something that will outweigh my thoughts of Caleb Jordan.
Sure enough, there he was, sitting on my living room couch, with one stray blond curl covring his right eye. A breathtaking representation of Austin...more beautiful than ever before. My GOD he was hot. Even in my dream I found myself holding my breath and swooning in his presence. The noises from outside continued, but I was only concentrating on making my dream boy as real as he possibly could be. Austn smiled warmly at me, and I felt a blush coming on, as my eyes drifted down to look at the floor. The entire room seemed to be affected by my feelings for him, and the walls began to glow with the radiant light of infatuation. He didn't say anything, he simply stood up from the couch, and walked over to take my hand. His eyes stared into mine, making me weak inside, and he leaned slowly forward to kiss my lips. I was breathless. Instantly swept away. My mind completely gave itself over to the sensation, with no restrictions, and it was just as real as anything else I could imagine. Maybe even moreso. I felt his hands side around me to rest on the small of my back. I felt the silken texture of his blond curls as I tangled my fingertips in their shiny mass. I could taste the flavor of him as his tongue slid erotically past my own, and we kissed passionately as the warmth of him rested against my chest.
It was then that I heard a loud banging at the window, and the door, and all of the walls, simultaneously. The pounding was so violent that it began to shake the whole house, and I heard another scream rip through the very air around us. But I didn't give in. I won't let Caleb frighten me into giving him control again. Instead, I broke my kiss with Austin, and headed towards the stairs so that we could go up to my bedroom. Caleb's protests rattled the framework of the house, plaster dropping down around us, the paint cracking and swelling, the railing turning to splinters. But Austin and I kept going. He walked up the stairs in front of me while I followed, my face just inches from that deliciously round bottom of his. I took a hold of his hips, and pushed my face against it, smashing the soft cheeks on my nose and lips, opening to take a big bite out of it. He smiled as he looked back and pulled me further up the stairs. When we reached my room, the hallway was littered with debris. The screams and the pounding...I ignored them all. Let him have his childish little tantrum. I don't care anymore.
Strangely enough, my bedroom was completely unaffected by his ranting and raving. It remained untouched. When I closed the door, even the noises from outside seemed to come to a complete halt. But, as I watched Austin pull his shirt off and start to undress in front of me...that ceased to be any of my concern. I couldn't strip fast enough, and when we embraced again, my naked skin against his, I actually felt goosebumps being raised on my arms and legs. Jesus...he felt so real. So warm. So hard. We rolled around on my bed, back and forth, our lips locked in the most intimate embrace, my hands all over him, his hands all over me. It was the most explosive erotic fantasy that I had created to date, and when I moved down to suck him slowly into my mouth....I nearly came all over myself. I bathed him all over that area with my tongue. His long, hard, shaft. His leaking circumcized tip. His full balls, dusted with fine wisps of blond hair. And the warm meat of his inner thighs, which I sucked on hard enough to leave a temporary hicky. It felt like him, moved like him, tasted like him, smelled like him...this dream character was an exact replica of what I assumed he would be. Right down to the way I imagined he would whimper when I kissed the tender center of his stomach, my tongue licking small circles around the rim of his cute little navel. It was all the reality that I needed.
And outside...the rumble of lightning and thunder. A black storm approaching from all sides. And when I glanced over to the window, Caleb was floating there. His eyes a deep red, surrounded by thick black circles of rage. His tightlipped expression and burning stare was almost enough to worry me, but not quite. This is exactly what Chucky was talking about. Taking my control back. He can't come in. He can't stop me. And that just proves, hands down, that he's a figment of my imagination. Nothing more. And after a few more nights of ignoring him, he'll have no choice but to disappear.
I went back to my sexy blond in bed, using my oral vaccuum to suck him deeply back into my mouth, knowing that this 'Caleb' creation was watching from the window. I let my saliva slicken his rod as it pumped slowly in and out of my lips, his knees bent slightly over my shoulders, my hands rubbing up and down his sides, occassionally running over his belly, and his nipples, and his pubic hairs. I felt surrounded by his body heat, and whimpered to myself as I took full enjoyment out of this opportunity.
Caleb saw the whole thing, but he didn't try to enter that room. In fact, he merely hovered outside the window in silence, his face frowned up in the most hateful expression. It was hard to ignore, but I managed. And when Austin reached the point of orgasm, filling me up with his seed...the entire world outside turned black. Black with red streaks of lightning crawling back and forth through the dark clouds spinning overhead. He had never been so enraged, and the dreamworld was deeply affected by his anger. Every inch of it...except for my bedroom. And as long as I was in here, I was safe.
The last thing I remember before waking up that morning was the hate and envy in his eyes. Mentally chewing me up with its glare. I had officially challenged him now. I made my stand. Now let's see if he'll make his.