Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2015 18:30:05 -0800
From: Sellar Dhor <sellardhor@gmail.com>
Subject: Evil is a Man: Blood In Blood Out chapter 13

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

If you like what you're reading, let me know: SellarDhor@gmail.com.
And let me know where you want the story to go and who you want Jake to end
up with.
And if you have any ideas for the future, let me know, I might include them.


       JANUARY 12th


       That morning, Syd's annoyingly thunderous cell phone ring woke me up
well before dawn, even shut inside the closet.  I waited it out, determined
to go back to sleep.  Annoyingly, after a minute or so of silence, it
started to go off again.
       I opened the closet door without getting up.
       "Syd, answer your stupid phone," I grumbled.
       "Mmm, Trixie," he moaned sexually in his sleep, completely
unaffected.
       "Yes, it could be Trixie I suppose, but you'll never know unless you
answer it."
       When the ringing stopped for the second time, I tried to fall asleep
again, but it rang for a third time.  I was so annoyed by the time it
ended, I got up and stuck the phone on Syd's sleeping face, lining up the
little speaker with his ear cavity.  I noticed the two women were gone.
       It was only a matter of time before the ringer started going off
again, and this time when it started, he yelled and sat up in his bed,
totally startled.  He threw the phone angrily down on the phone as I
laughed at him.
       "I take it by yer smug little chuckles that you were responsible for
waking me up that horrible way," he said.
       "Maybe."
       "How `bout you add this to the list of painful ways I don't
appreciate being woken up by you," he said.  He reached over to an open
bottle of whiskey on his nightstand and drank about half the bottle in one
gulp.
       "Nothing is worse than being woken up by you molesting me," I said.
       "Hey, I like to wake you up with a lil' lovin,' and you prefer to
wake me up by stabbing a stake into my chest.  Now, I may be way outta
touch, but I'm pretty sure most sane folk would prefer the former.  Now,
unless you woke me up just now to tell me ya wanted to get screwed, I'm
going back to dream land."
       "Well, how about answering or turning off your phone first?" I said
as it started to ring again.
       "It doesn't bother me," he said, turning over in bed.
       He was right; he fell back asleep as if the phone was playing a
soothing lullaby, leaving me wide awake and annoyed.  I knew even if I
turned it off at this point, there'd be no more sleeping for me.  I got up,
pushed my settee back out of the closet, got dressed, and left the room,
going into the mess hall as the morning light started to come into the
mansion.  I had a long breakfast and a lot of coffee while waiting the hour
before I was scheduled to meet Cornelius that morning.

       *****

       "So, that takes care of all the arrangements for the wedding
reception, except for one major detail," Cornelius said towards the end of
our morning session.
       "Which is?" I asked.
       "You have yet to tell me what band you want playing.  I assume
you've already made your selection?"
       "Why, of course," I said, trying to come up with something fast.
"Uh, Lettie's band will be playing."
       "Lettie's band?" he asked, his eyebrow raised as he took a puff from
his pipe.  "She'll be one of your bridesmaids, as well as the band leader?"
       "Yes, that's right," I said, already starting to regret my rash
decision.
       "Busy gal, Lettie always seems to be," he said, scribbling down new
notes furiously.  "Now, Meredith wanted to schedule a fitting with the
groom at this time, but I got her to agree to a fitting later on, because
it looks like it's almost time for the rodeo competition."
       "Oh, I'd better go there straight away."
       "Most of Mareshead will be watching anxiously in the stands, I'm
sure."
       "Great," I said, not liking the idea of having to perform those
events in front of an audience, but figuring embarrassment or stage fright
was the least of my worries.  "Are you one of those that enjoys being a
rodeo spectator?"
       "I actually detest the sport, honestly.  But I'm required to attend,
I'm afraid."
       "Oh, why is that?"
       "Because I serve as your neutral rodeo official.  Now, Mr. Groves,
let me escort you to the rodeo grounds."
       As soon we left the mansion out the east exit, I could see dozens of
people on foot crossing the riding and practice grounds, all moving towards
that rodeo arena in the far east side.  "Not too many spectators, it
seems," I said.
       "These are the last stragglers.  Most of them will already have
scoped out their seats by now, Mr.  Groves."
       Because the arena was so far, we stopped at the stable.  Polly got
Curie ready while I saddled up Patches, petting him on the nose and giving
him a little pep talk as I did.  I ended up riding Patches and pulling
Curie behind me, while Cornelius got his own horse and led me off.  We rode
towards the arena in the distance, with me being surprised how large the
thing grew as we got closer.
       "Welcome to the Mareshead Rodeo Corral," Cornelius said as we
finally rode into the place.
       It turned out that the stands only went around in a half circle.
The other half was cut away, as the rodeo floor was so very large.  We rode
in through the open area, moving into the arena floor so suddenly, the
crowds all popped into view at once.
       Even with Cornelius's warnings, my mouth dropped.  Thousands of
people were in the stands, probably more people than were normally in
Mareshead, meaning people had travelled here just for this event.  The
stands were all built of simple wooden design, with wooden benches for
everyone, making the structure seem like nothing that would have been built
in the last hundred years.  The crowd was absolutely rowdy as heck,
drinking, cursing, and fighting.  I saw no sign of children in the stands,
thank goodness.
       There was just one little area that clearly was built as seats of
honor, a little box that overlooked the rodeo with the best views in the
house, and the interior of this box was decorated with animal hides.
Jericho's grand seat was in the front and center of this box, and he was
looking down at the proceedings with his usual vile contempt.  Other
members of the family were in the Logan box, including Glaucia and Giggles,
but all of them were set far back from Jericho's lofty position.
       The crowds paid us no heed as we entered the corral, just continued
to be rowdy, and I couldn't have cared less.  Cornelius led me to the
center of the corral, where Arlene and Ryan were standing with their
horses.  We dismounted, and I nodded hello to my competitors, both of whom
graciously smiled at me.  I thanked the Lord that I'd be facing opponents
that I had no cause to dislike, and that they seemed to be good sports
about the whole deal.
       I noticed Boyd standing on the rodeo arena floor with a lot of the
other workers here.  He waved to me, and then approached.
       "Can I help you, Mr. Slade?" asked Cornelius, with a tone of voice
that suggested he didn't like people hanging about.
       "It's okay, Cornelius, he's serving as my coach today."
       "I'll permit it, then."
       Boyd hit my shoulder, smiling at me.  I thought about what he had
told me before about wishing it was him in the competition with me instead
of Syd, and I very much agreed.  Where was Syd, anyway?
       "Does anyone need a primer on the competition rules?" Cornelius
asked
       "We're okay," said handsome, dark-haired Ryan.
       "Jake could use it," Boyd said.
       "We have seven events ready to go.  Each event will result in one
side winning or the other.  That is, it doesn't matter how closely you may
have lost an event.  A loss is still a loss.  Couples will take turns
choosing which event they will play, and as always, the defending champions
will get first pick.  We will play until one side has four wins.  If that
means we go home without three of the events being played, then so be it.
So, which event will we start with?" Cornelius asked.
       "We thought we'd let Jake pick first, since it's his first time
competing," Arlene said.
       "What'll it be, Jake?" Cornelius asked me.
       "Hmm."  It was still too chilly to be comfortable naked, making me
want to wait for any events that required nudity until later.  And since
Syd wasn't here, the choice was easy.  "Pole Bending."
       Cornelius picked up what seemed to be an electronic megaphone before
I realized it was just a metal funnel.  "Challengers pick Pole Bending," he
yelled through it.  The crowds actually booed that choice; apparently they
had a thing against Pole Bending.
       Ryan kissed Arlene quickly as the two separated.
       Immediately, hundreds of humans poured into the arena grounds,
changing over the space for the specified event.  Poles were being erected
and a line was drawn in the sand.
       "Well, that's me," I said to Boyd.  I watched Arlene, and kept by
her, knowing she was my opponent, and she'd know when we were supposed to
get on our horses.
       I knew I couldn't get down on my knees and pray here without someone
having a coronary, but I shut my eyes and said a little prayer, begging God
for his help in letting me win that day.  Normally, I detest it when
athletes ask for God's help in their sporting events.  It seemed plain
wrong to ask God for something so trivial, like the people who prayed for
their promotion at work, or who begged God to make someone they found
attractive fall in love with them.  I fully supported people who prayed
before sporting events that there would be no injuries on either side of
the field, but never to win games.
       But this win had so much more significance to me than just a trivial
game; it seemed prudent to pray for success.
       "Where's Syd?" Arlene asked.  "He's not going to forfeit, is he?"
       "I'm right here, dearie," he said, riding into the corral on his
horse, wearing his usual cowboy duds, nursing the same bottle of whiskey
that had been on his nightstand that morning.
       He got off his horse a bit clumsily and joined us.
       "You've been drinking, haven't you?" I asked him.
       "Course not," he said, taking a swig of whiskey.
       "You'd better not be drunk, Syd."
       "I just needed a little something to get me out of bed at the crack
of dawn."
       "It's late morning, Syd," I said.
       "Sweetums, perhaps you have more important matters than criticizing
my choice of breakfast beverage.  Like, perhaps, riding in your event."  He
looked at my hand.  "Yer all shakey.  Jakey's all shakey, ha ha!  I kill
myself!"
       "I'm nervous as I've ever been," I said.
       Syd looked out at the crowd.  "Stagefright, huh?  There sure are a
lot of people watchin.'  Just imagine `em all naked.  That shouldn't be too
hard, you imagine me naked all the time."
       "I don't have to imagine that, Syd.  You so rarely put on clothes; I
wonder how you remember what piece goes where.  Besides, I'm not nervous
because I have a fear of an audience, Syd.  I'm nervous because of what is
at stake here."
       "Well, you'd better stop yer stupid existential brain from worrying
about silly things like consequences, `cause yer up, and if ya don't get
yer ass out there beside yer competitor, you're disqualified."
       "I'm waiting here with Arlene," I said.  "If she hasn't left yet,
I'm sure I'm not late."
       "Why are you waiting with me?" she asked me, confused.  "You should
get out there."
       "But you're my competitor," I said.
       "Wait a second, I think Jakey thinks you're a human, Arlene," Syd
said.
       Arlene laughed.  "Does this look human to you?"  She opened her
mouth and showed me her very vampiric fangs popping out.  Only then did I
realize she was a special.  "Ryan!" she shouted.  "Jake thought I was the
human, and you were the vampire, isn't that cute?"
       It was only then that I noticed Ryan was already on horseback,
lining up in the Pole Bending course.
       "Jake, get out there!" Boyd said.  "Break a leg!"
       I got on Curie, and quickly rode towards Ryan, who was totally ready
to go.  Seeing big, handsome Ryan on his horse started to make me more
anxious for some reason.  Was it because I had been comforted before by the
thought that I would be competing against a woman, and now my opponent was
a strapping man?  I scolded myself for having such sexist inclinations.
       Ryan was already lined up facing the six poles that faced away from
the stands, so that left me taking the starting point on the opposite side
of the line as he was, looking at the six poles towards the audience.  It
was amazing how close we were in proximity to each other, just a couple
feet away.
       "Competitors get ready!" Cornelius shouted, and I took the
opportunity to double check my saddle straps, my reins, and pat down
Curie's mane.
       "GO!"
       I was shocked Cornelius yelled for us to start so quickly, and while
Ryan took off immediately, crossing the line and moving towards the poles
behind me, I took a second or two, and then started.
       I stuck my heels into Curie's ribs, urging her to move as fast as I
could.  She started forward with an angry whinny.  We crossed the start
line and moved towards the first of the six poles ahead.  I knew the first
section of this course was to cruise past all of the six poles in a
straight line to the right, which meant it was one of the few times I'd be
doing a straight away.  Speed was required here, so I pushed Curie as much
as I could.  Unfortunately, she only let me push her so much, and thrashed
her head angrily at me at the same time.  This was her time to shine, and
she was just giving me attitude.
       When I got close to the last pole, I started to slow Curie down.  We
passed the last pole and tucked into a sharp curve around it until we were
facing the other side, then we weaved through that pole and the second to
last pole, with the latter on my right.  We went around the second to the
last pole on the outside left, then weaved between it and the next pole,
switching to the other side.
       I thanked Boyd that I had this course down so well in my mind, just
as I heard Cornelius shout, "You went the wrong way around that pole!  Go
back!"
       I stopped my horse, confused.  Then I saw Boyd on the sidelines
pointing to Ryan, and I realized it was my opponent who had missed his
course, not me.  Elated, I kept riding.
       At the pole closest to the start line, I pulled around it, circling
all the way around until I was facing the stands again, weaving through the
five poles in front of me.  Finally, I got to the last pole, and I took
Curie in a sharp curve to the right until we were facing the start line.
This was another one of those long straight-aways, the longest, in fact, so
I urged Curie to run hard.  Once again, she fought back against me and
refused.  We passed all of the poles on this half of the course, and then
we moved past the starting line, into the other half of the course.
       I knew that if I had been tied with my opponent, he should have
crossed that start line the same time that I had, but he was nowhere to be
found.  I flew past the six poles on this side of the course to my right,
and then noticed Ryan was weaving along in the same direction I was headed
through those poles.  His messing up the course and needing to go back was
seriously hurting his time.
       I slowed down again, and spun Curie around the outside of the last
pole, a move that almost caused her to buck me off her, but she finally
consented.  I almost collided with Ryan, who was weaving through the last
two poles.  I politely slowed down to avoid mutual injury, but he
aggressively plowed through, seemingly positive I would stop so he could
go.  As he turned around the last pole and started into that long
straightaway towards the line, he started slapping his horse's rump, making
it go much faster than I ever could ever get Curie to go.  Would that extra
speed be enough for him to catch up to me?
       I didn't have time to think about him, I had to focus on my time.  I
started weaving between the poles, making my way towards the finish line.
When I got to that pole that was closest to the line, I spun around and
wove through all of them again.  But Curie was getting increasingly
agitated and feisty.
       Finally, as I left the last pole and turned to face my finish line,
I had Curie run as hard as she would let me, knowing this was it.  As I ran
past those poles, I could see Ryan was also on his final straightaway, to
my left and a way forwards, racing towards me.  He clearly had made up a
lot of time just by pushing his horse hard, and it was going to be close.
       But I crossed the line before he did.
       "The challenging couple wins!" Cornelius shouted to the crowd, and
some of them started to clap, though most of them looked bored or
indifferent.
       I rode over to Boyd, totally overjoyed, and I jumped off the horse
and hugged him.
       "Good work, kid!" he said.  "Except for the late start ya had, that
was great riding ya did.  Phenomenal way to start.  Well, `cept for that
darned horse of yers.  She ain't workin' with you one bit."
       "I know," I said.  "I just can't deal with this horse.  I would have
been much faster if not for her."
       Cornelius was motioning us all back to the center of the arena.
"What's next?" he asked.
       Arlene and Ryan, who looked a lot less happy than they did before
the event, had a quick sidebar.
       "Oops, look like I'm gonna need some more of this magic sauce," Syd
slurred, throwing his empty bottle aside.  He lit up a cigarette instead.
       "We choose Bull Riding," Arlene said.
       "Bull Riding!" Cornelius shouted, and all the workers started
changing the course.
       I started to panic, not recognizing that one at all.  "What's that
one?" I asked, starting to get annoyed that Boyd would forget to teach me
one.
       "It's the one event you don't have to do jack shit for," Syd said,
pulling me aside.
       "It's between you and Arlene?" I asked.
       "Damn right.  And it requires more balance outta me than any other
event there is."  He started to yell the next part in a drunken anger, loud
enough for Arlene and Ryan to hear, "Don't think I don't goddamn realize
that they picked this one `cause they knew I wasn't my most sober right
now."
       "Syd, please tell me you're not too drunk for this."
       "I told ya before, Jakey, I ain't get whiskey dick when I'm drunk."
       "What does that have to do with this event?  I hope they don't mean
THAT kind of riding when they say Bull Riding.  Bestiality is wrong, Syd."
       "Don't be an idiot, Jakey," he said.  "What I clearly meant was, I'm
not too drunk right now to take ya behind the stands and screw the living
daylights outta yer ass.  And if I can do that at this level of
intoxication, I can damn well ride a bull, too."
       The workers had closed off a rather small portion of the arena into
a fenced off space.  I noticed that under the stands, there were two large
passages that were clearly meant for livestock.  Two bulls were being
loaded into these shafts and pinned against the front gate.
       "Time to fly," Syd said.
       Syd and Arlene both approached their bulls and started to climb on
the animals, which were safely pinned in on all sides, unable to move.
       I walked up to Boyd.  "I thought bull riding involved just one rider
at a time?"
       "Not with vampires," he said.  "And unlike normal riding, where
people are timed and scored, these two just go until one of `em falls off."
       "How long does that take?"
       "Well, these are actually boosted bulls, so they're way stronger and
meaner than the normal kind.  Otherwise this event could last for hours."
       "Competitors get ready!" Cornelius shouted again, and this time,
more people in the stands were paying attention.  "GO!"
       The bulls were both released into the enclosure at the same time,
and both of the animals started bucking and jumping around at what appeared
to be super-powered speeds.  I would have certainly been knocked off
instantly, but both Syd and Arleen remained on their animals.
       I figured Syd would have fallen off due to his drunkenness, but he
stayed put, and he even had one of his Marlboro's between his lazy lips.
He raised his hat off his head and waved it around, which absolutely made
me crazy, serving no purpose but being reckless.
       "One minute!" Cornelius announced.
       "I thought they weren't being timed?" I asked Boyd.
       "They aren't, but once a minute passes, they're allowed to rope."
       "Rope what?"
       "Each other."
       I saw Arlene had her rope ready as soon as Cornelius yelled that a
minute had passed, and she pulled it up and started to spin it over her
head.  She threw the lasso at Syd, but her bull took a sharp turn right
when she did it, causing her aim to be off.  The rope landed harmlessly on
the dirt, and she started to pull it back in.
       "My turn," Syd said cockily.  He grabbed his rope, spun it overhead,
and then threw it in her direction.
       Syd's rope landed around Arlene's neck, and he pulled it tight,
creating a noose.
       I gasped.  "Is she going to be okay?"
       "She's a special vampire, Jake, of course."
       The rope around her neck didn't throw her off, but she dropped her
own rope and raised her hands to the one around her neck, trying to get it
loose while at the same time balancing on her bull.
       Syd continued to pull the rope, and she eventually looked like she
was going hazy.  She stumbled, and fell off the bull onto the ground.
       "The challenging couple wins!" Cornelius shouted, and this time, a
lot of people cheered.  I guess they liked the violence this event offered,
and they seemed to support Syd.
       The vampires pushed the bulls back into their cages, and Ryan ran in
to help Arlene.  Thankfully, she seemed totally fine when he helped her to
her feet.
       "Challengers choose the next event," Cornelius said once all of us
had reformed around him.
       "Jakey?" Syd asked.
       "Heading and Heeling," I said, still not eager to take my clothes
off, and knowing that was the only event Syd and I practiced together.
       "Heading and Heeling!"
       The workers started widening the existing fence until they had quite
a large enclosure, then they started loading in non-boosted bulls in
through the livestock channels.
       "How long does this event go?" I asked Boyd.
       "There are seven bulls in there," he said.
       "Boy, someone sure likes the number seven," I said.
       "Jericho, I'm sure.  When the first team has taken down four of the
bulls, the event is over."
       Boyd handed me my satchel full of ropes, and I attached it to the
side of Patches's saddle.  I mounted my horse just as Syd was mounting his.
       "What are ya doin' riding the big ugly horse, Jakey?" Syd asked.
"This event's supposed to be done with the smaller horse again."
       "I just can't deal with Curie.  Is it against the rules for me to
use this one?"
       "Not technically, but if we lose cause of yer huge, lumbering horse,
then I will be pissed."
       "We won't lose because of Patches."
       They made Syd and I line up at the eastern gate to the bull pen,
with Arlene and Ryan on the western gate.
       "Competitors get ready!" Cornelius shouted . "GO!"
       With that, the workers pulled open both gates.  Syd swept through
into the bullpen first, and I followed.  Immediately, I could feel the
burden of having to steer an animal so drastically larger than Curie.  But
though Patches was certainly the largest Clydesdale I had seen, he was
still very nimble for his size.  Also, he seemed to have an almost
telepathic understanding of my desires, following every body-cue I made
with utmost precision.  It was just as Parker said would happen when I
picked out a horse, and clearly Parker had helped me pick out the right
one.
       Across the cage, I could see Arlene and Ryan moving into the pen as
well.  The workers quickly shut us in by closing the gates behind us.
       This time, when Syd started riding towards the first bull, I
followed him closely behind, not wanting to make the same mistake I had
made in practice.  It seemed like only mere seconds before Syd had that
first one around the head with his rope, and he started to pull the beast
towards him.
       I knew this was my cue; I pulled Patches behind the bull, and then
pulled out my rope.  I almost made the mistake of letting the rope go too
soon, but remembered Parker's advice, and waited until the bull started to
kick.  As soon as he did, I threw the lasso underhanded towards the
animal's hindquarters, and I blissfully met my target.
       I pulled hard, excitedly entrapping the animal's feet.
       "Alright, pull!" Syd yelled, and the two of us pulled our ends of
the rope until the bull fell over onto the ground.
       "One point for the challengers!" shouted Cornelius.
       I dropped my rope, and started driving Patches to follow Syd towards
the next nearest animal.
       Syd had the bull by the head and I was just pulling out my rope when
we heard Cornelius shout, "One point for champions!"
       I roped the bull's feet, we pushed him over, and then we heard, "Two
points for the challengers!"
       Syd and I started off towards the third bull.  This one, it turned
out, was particularly ornery.  It moved in to gore Patches, giving me quite
a shock.
       "Back, Jakey!" Syd yelled, and I scooted Patches to the rear.
       "I'll let you take this one first," I said.
       As Syd moved forward, the bull jumped around furiously, almost
seeming psychotic in his behavior.  "Screw this," Syd said.
       He started moving towards another nearby bull instead, one that
looked a lot more demure.
       "Two points for champions!"
       Syd easily roped the demure bull, and I moved in behind it.  This
one was so relaxed, however, he wasn't fighting back and kicking his hind
feet out, which meant it was very hard for me to rope.
       Syd seemed to realize this and compensated by pulling hard with his
rope in order to make the animal struggle.  Finally, I was able to get the
legs roped, and we got the bull on the ground.
       "Three points for the challengers!  One more to win!"
       The bulls were starting to get in short supply, and it seemed like
Arlene and Ryan were stuck trying to handle the Norman Bates bull that we
had abandoned.  Syd moved us towards the last bull, but it would require us
to pass in front of Arlene and Ryan.
       "Honey, they are going to get their last point!" Ryan shouted to
Arlene.  "No point in messing with this bull, let's just try to run
interference!"
       "Yes, on it!"
       Arlene and Ryan both pulled their horses away from the angry bull
and moved in to intercept us.  It worked, they cut off our path to the bull
Syd was after, and they blocked the way.
       "Let's just go back and get the angry bull," I said, knowing that
was the only other bull left in the pen.
       "Oh, alright," Syd said, and he turned towards the angry bull, but
just when Ryan and Arlene let their guard down, Syd spun his horse around,
and started charging them.  I swore he would collide with them and knock
all of them off their horses, but he slipped through the small space
between the two partners, pushing at both their sides with his legs and
elbows.  It was a bold, aggressive, dangerous tactic, but it worked.  The
crowd went wild when he did that.
       Before they could even recover, Syd had his rope around the head of
the bull.  "Now all that's left is you, Jakey!" he shouted.
       With Arlene and Ryan both turning to try and stop Syd, it left me
room to run around them and to the backside of the animal.  Syd yanked the
bull's head aggressively, forcing it to kick, and I threw my rope,
entwining the feet of the animal perfectly.
       We pulled, and the animal went down.
       "Another win for the challengers!" Cornelius yelled.  The Syd-loving
crowd cheered.
       "Couldn't have been better!" Boyd said to me as I dismounted after I
left the bullpen.
       "Once again, Jakey, yer damn lucky you have such a stud for a
partner," Syd bragged.  "We are killing these losers!"
       "We just need one more," I said.
       "We got this, easy."
       "Champions turn to pick the event!"
       "Oh, I don't know," Arlene said.  "But might as well just leave the
bulls out.  Bull Wrestling."
       "Bull Wrestling!" yelled Cornelius.
       There was a whole lot of cheering from the audience.  This time, no
changes were made to the arena.  Syd and I moved again towards one gate,
while Ryan and Arlene moved towards the opposite side.
       "Yes!  This is MY event, Jakey," Syd said, pounding his fist into
his hand happily.  "Parker may have been the better roper, but those events
are so goddamn boring.  This was always my favorite by far.  Everyone in
the stands knows how fucking terrific I am at this.  Let's face it, this is
the only reason they came to watch.  To see me put on a show.  Arlene
should have never picked this one, the fool."
       "Okay, terrific," I said.  "Let's make this our last event, then."
       Syd started ripping off his shirt, which confused me at first.
"What's wrong. Jakey, `fraid of the cold?"
       "Oh yeah, nudity is required for this."  I glumly started to remove
my clothes and fold them neatly, until I was naked.
       "You better believe it.  People goddamn loved watching me do this
event back when it was done clothed.  But everyone loves me all the better
when I'm naked," he said.  "Understandable."
       He faced the audience, kicked of his boots, and threw down his
pants.  The crowd went wild, especially the women, and he soaked it up.
"Yee-haw!"  That's when I noticed the something that made me wrinkle my
nose.
       "Syd, did you forget one important part of getting up in the midst
of your drunken stupor?"
       He looked down at himself, and then saw that he still had a condom
on.  "I'll take care of that in short order," he said.  He faced the crowd,
then swiveled his hips around, sending his massive, soft unit flying around
in circles, rotating like a massive hand on a clock.  Finally, the semen
filled condom flew off, and came flying through the air, right towards...
       ...me!  I tried to sidestep it, but I was too late, the thing hit me
right in the face and absolutely exploded all over me, covering my whole
head and naked body in glaze, a good portion getting in my mouth.  I pulled
the remnants of the condom off forehead as quickly as possible, throwing it
to the ground.
       Syd hooted and hollered, and the fans went crazy.  "Oops, sorry
Jakey."
       "You so did that on purpose!" I yelled.
       I tried as best I could to wipe off the disgusting liquid, while Syd
danced around.  When people cheered even more, he put his boots back on,
stuck his hands up on his cowboy hat, and thrust his hips back and forth,
mimicking humping.  "Oooh-yeah!" he yelled, and the women were hysterical.
       Nobody had cared when I finished undressing, or Arlene and Ryan on
the other side, because no one else was making such a show out of it.  As
soon as I put my shoes on, I noticed Boyd approaching us.  Unlike the
crowd, Boyd was totally disinterred in Syd, but his eyes were pleasantly
locked on my nakedness.
       I pulled Patches forward and got on.
       "Come on Syd," I said as he continued to put on a manly display for
the crowds.  "Arlene and Ryan are already ready to go."
       Syd climbed up on the horse behind me.  He got awful cozy with me
awfully fast, pushing his naked front against my naked back.
       "Syd, please tell me why your hands are all over my body, and I can
feel your penis resting in my crack?."
       "Hey, darlin,' if yer gonna be riding with my pants off, yer gonna
feel my huge pecker all over ya, there's no preventing that.  And I'm just
holding onto you so I don't fall off, Jakey."
       "We haven't even started yet!" I said, pushing him back off of me.
       "Hey, Jakey, did ya forget somethin?'  We're supposed to be a happy
pair of lovers.  If you do anything to make them suspect you don't love me
as much as we been sayin,' none of this matters.  And we have more
suspicious eyes on us now than we ever had before."
       The awful part was, I knew he was right.  "Ugh, I hate you!" I
whispered.
       "Oooh, but I love you ever so much."  He cozied up to me just like
before, and even proceeded to give the side of my face a long lick.  It was
so, so gross, but I couldn't make him stop.
       "Competitors ready!" Cornelius shouted.
       Syd slapped me on the side of the head.  "We are gonna rock this
one."
       "GO!"
       The attendants again opened up gates, and I pushed my heels into the
Patches's ribs, moving him into the bull pen.  Right away, I could feel the
odd difference riding Patches with Syd also weighing me down felt.
       Across from us, on the other side of the bullpen, I could see naked
Ryan riding a Clydesdale, with Arlene holding on behind him.  They were
moving towards one of the bulls nearby.
       Okay, there were seven bulls in the pen here, which meant this would
be another one of those where the first team to take down four would win.
       There were two bulls that were about the same distance from us, and
one was clearly the larger of the two, so I went for him.
       "Whadya doin?'" Syd complained.  "They like to see me take down the
big ones!"
       "Well, too bad, I'm the one steering here, Syd."
       He reached around me and tried to grab the reins.  "Not for long."
       "Syd, you're not allowed to steer in this event.  Please stop if you
don't want to get us disqualified."
       He settled down, and I headed for the smaller bull.  Not
surprisingly, it started to run as I approached it, so I used what I had
learned in practice to keep the horse close behind it.
       I felt the weight of the horse lessen and shift dramatically, and
when I looked to my left, I saw Syd was already on the bull, as his fans in
the audience cheered at whatever jump I had missed.  I stopped the horse.
       He was riding the bull, and unlike Boyd, who had just taken the bull
down quickly in practice, Syd was hamming it up, waving his hat back and
forth.  And then he actually threw it upwards, making it flip and spin
around in the air, then pushing the bull perfectly to catch the hat on his
head.  Of course, the crowd went nuts for him.
       "One point for the champions!" yelled Cornelius, and I looked
quickly to see that Arlene had just wrestled down her first beast on the
other side of the pen.
       "Syd, come on!" I yelled.
       He finally tripped the bull and wrestled it to the ground.  He stood
up defiantly when he got it to submit, his boot digging into the animal,
and he waved his hat in a wave as the crowd cheered.
       I knew what came next; I was supposed to ride fast past Syd just
like Boyd had taught me, and he'd jump on the back as I zipped us towards
the next animal.  I picked out our next bull, leaned forward, and pushed my
heels into Patches, aiming to pass Syd just to my right.
       I passed Syd expecting to have him jump on.  Instead, he just stood
there and looked annoyed as I plowed right past him.  The crowds started to
boo, and I realized they were booing at me.
       I spun the horse around as quickly as I could and came back to where
Syd was standing, this time coming to a stop.
       "Jakey, what the hell was that?" Syd asked.  "I know ya want to
finish the rest of this event without me, but it's against the rules."
       "I wasn't trying to leave you, it's just that Boyd and I worked out
a move where I just ride by, and he jumps on the back."
       "Well, just `cause you learned something from Boyd George over there
ain't gonna mean shit with me."
       "It's actually Boyd Slade.  His last name is Slade, not George."
       "Oh, kill me now with you and the pop-culture jokes," he said.  He
started to climb on the horse behind me.  "Look, we'll just have to make
them all think that it was all part of the show."
       "What show?" I asked.  "This isn't one of your crappy concerts,
Syd."
       He ignored me.  Instead, once he sat back on the saddle behind me,
he started making this mock look on his face of exaggerating, cartoonish
anger.  Then he said, "Naughty boys need to be spanked!"  loudly so
everyone could hear.
       He pulled my butt up off the saddle and into the air, and he started
to spank me.  Everyone started to cheer, and it was absolutely mortifying.
But I couldn't take the time to be angry, instead I rode hard towards the
next bull as he continued to spank me.
       As soon as I was chasing down the bull, Syd surprised me by sticking
his boots on my bare shoulders, and standing up on top of me, clearly doing
some sort of trick.  I could feel his soft unit lying on the top of my
head.  People started to cheer as he held his balance, but with me being
totally unaware that he would even try something like that, my balance
shifted, and I accidentally pulled the horse away from the bull.
       "Jakey, yer supposed to keep close!" Syd snapped.
       "I'm trying!  It somehow was a lot easier to steer when I didn't
have an extra two hundred pounds on my shoulders!"  I looked up at him
angrily, but that was a mistake, because it only meant I got a face full of
his penis.
       "That's okay, there's another one!" he said, and I realized that I
had accidentally headed in the direction of another bull.
       "Champions have two!" said Cornelius.
       He leapt off my shoulders, which hurt terribly, did a cartwheel
through the air, and landed on the back of the bull, with gasps and then
claps from the audience.  He grabbed the bull by the horns and squeezed his
legs around the bull's ribs.
       Then, instead of just taking the animal down like a normal person,
Syd noticed that Arlene and Ryan were riding close by, and he somehow
steered the bull towards their horse.  I had no idea what he was trying to
do, so I had no choice but to follow him on horseback.
       He had the bull ram towards their horse, spooking it and sending it
flying out of the way, almost knocking of Ryan in the process.  The crowd
erupted into laughter and applause.
       When Syd started to wrestle the bull, the crowd cheered again when
he grabbed the poor bull by the balls and used that hold to force it into
submission.
       "Challengers have two!"
       Syd jumped up into the saddle behind me, I chose another bull, and
started to ride towards it.  I could see nearby Arlene leaping onto their
third bull, and I got anxious.  I shifted my weight forward, sticking my
butt in the air to signal to Patches that we needed to go fast, and he
thankfully followed my instruction.
       Obnoxiously, Syd used the opportunity my position provided him to
grab my hips with his hands, pull my backside more into the air, and then
stick his brazen tongue along my buttcrack.  Before long, he was molesting
my hole with his mouth.
       Once again, as the crowd cheered, I was horribly humiliated, but I
tried to focus on the task at hand.
       "Champions have three!  One more!"
       I started to panic when I heard that.
       As I continued towards the bull, I could feel Syd's teeth were out,
excitedly, and his tongue was just getting more aggressive on my hole.
       "Syd, you have a bull to wrestle!" I yelled when we were chasing it
down.
       He stood up on the saddle behind me, and when he did, it was so
clear to everyone that he was sporting a major erection.  Ladies cheered,
and he stroked himself a few times in the audience's direction.
       "Get on the bull, Syd!" I said.
       He jumped off the saddle, did two back flips, which looked really
weird with his dick sticking out, and landed on the bull.  Once again, the
crowd loved it.
       Finally, he wrestled it to the ground.
       "Challengers have three!"
       Syd jumped back behind me on the horse, and this time, as he held
onto my body, his hard dickhead was practically penetrating my hole, which
he was doing nothing to prevent.  But I didn't have time to get offended;
we had an event to win.  I looked around until I saw the last bull left,
and shot out towards it.
       But Ryan steered their horse right in front of mine, cutting us off
and almost causing a collision.  Arlene jumped down onto the bull on the
other side.
       "Take him down!" Syd urged, clearly wanting me to try to push his
horse out of the way, but it was too late.
       "The champions win!" shouted Cornelius, and the crowds started to
boo.  At first, I figured they were booing Ryan and Arlene, but I soon
realized they were pissed off at me.
       As soon as we were outside the pen, I got off the horse, wanting to
be free of Syd's intrusive touch.  I was all kinds of angry.  Before long,
Syd was on the ground too, walking behind me towards Cornelius.
       "Hey, don't let the crowd get you down, Jakey," he said.  "So you
sucked huge Syd-like balls this time.  Next time you'll do better."
       "What?!  I sucked balls?!  You wasted all of our precious time doing
useless tricks and showing off to the crowds like a stupid peacock!  If you
had been all business, we would be going home right now!"
       "We may have technically lost the event, true, but ya know what I
accomplished?  I got us an emotional win.  Got the crowd on our side.  Got
them eatin' out of my hand."
       Oh, it was infuriating baloney.  "I'm sorry, I must be some sort of
moronic Neanderthal.  Somehow I can't understand why winning the crowd's
favor is more important for us in winning this competition than actually
winning this competition is.  I must be simpleminded."
       "Listen, yer goddamn new to this sport, so I ain't gonna hold it
against you if you have trouble understanding the intricate inner workings
of its mechanisms."
       "Oh yeah, because between the two of us, you're the one who is way
more into sports than I am."
       We reached Cornelius, so the arguing had to come to an end.
"Challenger's turn to pick the event," he said.
       I thought about what was left.  Axe Throwing, which was so awful, I
couldn't imagine any respectable person ever choosing it unless it came
down to the tie breaker.  Flag Pulling was totally ridiculous.  That left
Calf Roping, and I knew that's what I'd be choosing.
       "Flag Pullin,'" Syd said, just as I started to talk.
       "FLAG PULLING!" Cornelius yelled, and all the workers started to
move the bulls out of the arena and started erecting poles and ropes.
       "Why'd you pick Flag Pulling?" I asked.
       "Because it's harder for women to be on the bottom in that one," he
said.  "And I got a killer secret weapon."
       They fenced the flag course off, and I realized that once again, the
two couples would be entering on two different sides.  I could see Arlene
and Ryan already getting on their horse, and as Syd and I approached
Patches, one of the workers tied rope around Syd's wrists, locking his
hands behind his back.  I was amazed that Syd was still able to climb up on
the rear portion of the double saddle without any help.  As he took his
position, I reflected how odd he looked.  He was actually dressed in what I
had come to realize was his favorite outfit: nothing but his cowboy hat and
boots.  His dick had never gone down since the end of the last event and
was pointing up towards the sky, his hefty balls resting on the leather
saddle.
       I started to climb up on the horse as well, my dick not the least
bit hard.
       "Jakey, yer gettin' up on the horse backwards, just like ya did the
first time ya rode, `member?" he reminisced.  "Maybe ya knew what you were
doin' all this time."
       I sat backwards on the saddle, facing Syd.
       "That's not gonna cut it, Jakey, they have strict rules about you
not sitting on the saddle."
       "I know that," I snapped.
       I moved in closer to him, wrapping my legs around his hips.  I could
feel his huge hardness against my stomach.
       "No, Jakey," he said.  "Grab my cock and stick it beneath you.  That
way it helps support you."
       I did as he asked, grabbing his unit, somehow managing to push it
down so it was laying on the saddle, then sitting on top of it.  "Please
tell me that's not what you meant when you bragged about your secret weapon
in this event."
       "Course it is," he said.  "When has any secret weapon I mentioned
not involved my red-blooded texas cock?"
       But the truth was, Syd's dick was so hard and so huge, it WAS
helping me.  I had my legs wrapped around him, my whole front leaning
against his body, and my hand clutching onto his ripped back.  Having
something to put my weight on, making sure my butt didn't hit that saddle,
it made me feel more stable.
       "Competitors ready!" Cornelius shouted.  "GO!"
       The workers pulled open both gates simultaneously; Syd squeezed his
thighs, sending Patches trotting into the course.  There were red flags
hanging everywhere above us; unfortunately, there were only so many hanging
low.  Syd rode us towards one of the nearby ones.
       "Wait a second," I said.  "What if we saved the easy ones for after
we're done with our first six?  That way we'll have the easy ones left for
when our position changes, after it gets much harder for us."
       "Jakey, that may be the smartest idea you've had in years."  He
shifted his riding towards one of the hard ones.
       "Goodness, I hope not."
       In the distance, I could see Ryan grab one of the first low hanging
flags, and I knew they were ahead.
       Syd positioned the horse beneath one of the higher up flags, and
shifted his position so that his knees and shins were on the saddle,
lifting me into the air enough for me to grab our first flag and drop it to
the ground.
       As Syd started to ride us towards the second flag, I said, "Wait a
second, this strategy could end up backfiring big time.  Syd, abort it.
Just go the normal strategy."
       "What the hell, Jakey?  Why?"
       "Just trust me here!"
       "Nope, ya gotta trust yer first instinct, Jakey.  Stop second
guessing yourself."
       He took me to another flag that was higher up, and lifted me up to
grab it.  "Syd, this is stupid!" I said as I noticed Ryan and Arlene
getting closer to us, watching us as they started pulling down their third
flag.
       By the time we were heading towards our fifth flag, Ryan an Arlene
already had their first six.
       "Champions halfway there!" yelled Cornelius as Ryan started to flip
around so he was facing forward.
       After we got our fifth high up flag, it became clear to me that Ryan
and Arlene were heading towards the low hanging easy flags that Syd and I
had saved on our side of the course.
       "Fuck that, them's our flags!" Syd yelled angrily.
       "They can go wherever they want, Syd.  This is exactly what I meant
when I told you to forgo the plan."
       Syd rode towards one of the low hanging ones, and I grabbed it.
       "Challengers halfway there!" yelled Cornelius, and the crowd cheered
some.
       Syd stopped the horse, and I spun around so that I was sitting
forward, balancing my shoes in the front of the saddle, and leaning back
against Syd's bare upper body.  Once again, because of his state of
arousal, his unit was lifting me up by my crack, proving some extra
balance, letting me be comfortable with a little more speed than I had been
when I had practiced with Boyd.
       By the time I had the seventh flag, Ryan pulled down his tenth one,
and that was it for the low hanging flags, they had stolen all of ours.
Both Arlene and Syd rode towards nearby higher up flags.
       Syd had to stop and boost me up again for me to grab that flag, and
though Syd and I had it sooner than Arlene and Ryan got theirs, they were
just too far ahead for us to do anything about it, and soon they had eleven
flags.
       Syd started moving towards our next flag, and Arlene and Ryan
started moving towards theirs.  All of the sudden, as Arlene and Ryan
passed nearby, I felt the horse take a sudden sharp turn to the right
towards them, and I almost fell off.  Next thing I knew, Syd was barreling
down towards their horse.  I thought he just meant to scare them, but I was
wrong; he collided our horse with theirs.
       The hit was so hard and I wasn't at all prepared for it, I ended up
got knocked off of the horse to the left, and I had to frantically grab
onto the saddle to keep myself from falling to the ground.
       "Challengers are disqualified!" Cornelius said, as I clearly was out
of position.
       The awful part was, I saw Ryan fall off the horse and land
gracefully on the ground just a split second later.  If I had somehow
managed to hold on a little longer, Syd's plan might have worked.
       "Great going, Jakey, ya got us disqualified!"  Syd said as we both
climbed off the horse.
       "I got us disqualified?!  You're the one who decided to turn our
poor horse into a battering ram!"
       "It was the only ploy we had left to play.  And it would have worked
if ya had just held on."
       Cornelius was calling us back towards him, so we headed in that
direction.
       "Well, if you wanted me to hold on, perhaps you should have thought
to warn me of your sudden change in strategy!"
       "It should have been obvious, Jakey.  What else was I gonna do in
the position we were in?"
       "Wait, you didn't even tell me you causing a dangerous collision was
even one of your possible moves in your repertoire, so how on Earth was I
ever going to guess?"
       "Champions pick the next event," Cornelius said to the four of us.
       Arlene and Ryan had another quick sidebar.  "Axe Throwing," Ryan
said, and I cringed.
       "AXE THROWING!"
       The workers emptied the pen of bulls, and started to erect a wall
that faced the crowd.  I saw them start to carry out four different human
shaped bullseye targets, all of them shaped differently.  They propped
these up against the wall, then drew the two chalk lines in the sand, one
fifteen feet back from the targets, and the other thirty.  They brought out
a trunk full of axes and set one at each line.
       "The turn order has been randomly selected," Cornelius said.  "Syd
will throw first, followed by Arlene, then Jake, and Ryan will go last."
       "Oh great, that means I'm the first to possibly get chopped to
death," I said to Syd as both of us walked towards the targets.
       "Don't worry, Jakey, I'm a good thrower, and I'm a lot less drunk
than before," Syd said.  "I won't kill ya.  And if I cut ya some, all the
better, `cause I'll just have to come over and lick the wound shut."
       "Oh, that's very comforting, thanks Syd."
       He winked and walked towards the far line.
       My heart started to race as I walked over to the four targets,
trying to guess which one was mine.  One was smaller with clearly feminine
curves, so I knew that must have been Arlene's.  One was taller and thicker
than the others, so I knew that had to be Syd's.  The other two were about
the same height, but one was broader.  I knew Ryan was more muscular than I
was, so I walked towards the skinnier one.
       I put my back against the target, spreading my legs and putting my
arms up.  I knew the back of my hands had to be on the board, with my
fingers spread wide apart.  Looking around at my body, it was eerie how
well this target fit me.  It chillingly reminded me of lying in my future
coffin.
       My heart only raced faster and faster once I was in position.  I so
wanted to just shut my eyes, but I knew I was annoyingly required to lock
my eyes with Syd's, which I did.  Looking at him standing all the way back
there, it made me scared just how far back thirty feet really was.  He was
standing there, in just boots and hat, holding one of his axes.  In no way
did I trust him to throw it at me at all.
       I tried to forget all that and remind myself that I was here
fighting for my loved ones.  There was a lot at stake here, and I—
       My thoughts were rudely interrupted by the realization that Syd's
axe was flying towards me.  I didn't have time to brace myself, and when it
hit the board right next to my chest on the left, I couldn't help but jump.
       "Three points," Cornelius said.  "Or, it would have been, if
Mr. Groves hadn't moved.  No points for this round.  Next up, Arlene."
       "Jakey, what the hell was that?" Syd asked angrily.
       "You didn't even tell me you were about to throw!" I snapped.
       "No other partner I threw at before needed me to warn them of the
goddamn obvious," Syd said.  "Hey, guess what, yer on a goddamned human
dartboard, why would you ever think maybe someone would throw something at
ya?
       "Well, I need the warning, Syd."
       Syd and I walked off to the side, and Arlene took her place at the
thirty foot line, while Ryan propped himself up on the target.  It was the
first time I had really gotten a good look at him naked; he was quite good
looking, with muscles that were still impressive in spite of them not being
so lean.  His manhood was medium sized and attractive.
       "I hate doing this," Arlene complained.
       "I know yer not gonna hit me, babe," Ryan said.  "I have confidence
in you."
       "I ain't got much in myself," she said.
       She threw the axe without much authority, and as it zoomed towards
Ryan, I clenched my jaw and prayed that he wouldn't be hurt.  But the axe
ended up just barely making it inside the target, landing on the white and
yellow to his far right.
       "One point!" Cornelius said.
       Ryan looked disappointed in his wife.  "Don't look at me like that,"
she said.  "I don't want to risk you, and we're still ahead, in any case."
       "Jake's turn to throw!"
       Arlene and Ryan moved to the side, and I walked to the fifteen foot
line while Syd meandered over to his target.
       "You're not allowed to smoke during this event, Mr. Logan,"
Cornelius said.
       "Aw, seriously?"  He spit his Marlboro into the dust.
       I grabbed an axe, took a step back until I was seventeen feet back
from the target, and starting lining up my shot.
       "Jakey, ya tryin' to make it harder for you?" Syd asked.
       "This is my sweet spot," I said to him.
       "That's what you were shouting to me last night when my huge dick
was pummeling the hell outta yer prostate."
       I ignored that comment.  Knowing he would call me a hypocrite if I
did otherwise, I warned him I was going to throw.  I reached my arm back,
and then brought the axe forward, released and followed through.
       The axe hit the area to the left of Syd's chest, and I swore the axe
blade landed in the 4-point red section, and I was so pleased with myself.
       "Three points!" Cornelius said, shocking me.
       "I thought red was four points," I said.
       "It is," he said.  "You're in the orange as well."
       I actually had to walk up to the target until I could make out the
tiny sliver of orange that my axe blade had breached.  I guess these
vampires really had some great vision.
       As soon as I switched spots with Ryan and Syd with Arlene, she
started to plead with him, "Don't worry none `bout hurting me, babe.  You
know anything that you don't cut off will just heal."
       Knowing that to be true, when Ryan threw his axe towards Arlene, it
made me decisively less nervous than when I had watched the reverse happen
earlier.  Ryan ended up landing the axe in a similar part of the target
that I had, only his blade was sloppily embedded in more of the orange.
       "Three points," Cornelius said.  "After the first round, Champions
are ahead four to three."
       Syd did not look pleased as he took his position on the far line,
grabbing an axe.  I gulped and pulled myself back over to my target,
getting into position.
        Syd put his hands around his mouth in order to project his voice.
"I'm going to throw it!" Syd yelled louder than he needed to, clearly
belittling my request.
       I concentrated on keeping my eyes locked on Syd's and my body in its
spread-open position.  But when the axe landed just under my left arm, I
jumped.  I hoped Cornelius hadn't' noticed.
       "That throw is nullified!" he shouted, and the stands gasped.
       Syd looked at the stands.  "This is not unusual," he announced to
them.  "He's never been able to have someone throw at him without him
bouncin' around like a jackrabbit."
       I realized Syd was trying to make a plausible explanation for what
would appear to outsiders to denote a lack of trust towards my fiancé.
       "No he ain't," Boyd piped up, loud enough so the crowd could hear.
"I got the guy to trust me in practice.  He's fully capable of being thrown
at, I assure you."  For once I was annoyed at Boyd for telling the truth,
though I realized that Boyd had no idea that there was more at stake in our
engagement than just what he assumed to be a dubious pairing.
       Syd looked at Boyd quite angrily, though it was well masked.
"Thanks for the purdy little tip there, Boy," Syd said.  "We'll keep that
in mind."
       I got off the target and walked to the sidelines.
       Cautious Arlene scored just another single point for her team when
it was her turn to throw, and then I found myself at my line again, staring
at Syd's body in front of me.  They were ahead by two points, but I knew I
could count on Arlene for one more, and Ryan for at least five.  I couldn't
count on myself for trusting Syd enough for him to score, so that meant I
alone would have to do excellently in my last two throws, or we would lose.
       It was time to make some tough choices.  Instead of my last shot,
which had been as close to Syd's body without risking injury, I would need
to risk harm to him in order for us to win this.  Was I willing to hurt Syd
in order to save my family?  Yes, I was, I decided.
       The two areas that would most obviously easily give me five points
were around the black areas surrounding his fingers as well as his penis.
Was it worth severing one of Syd's fingers permanently in order to win
this?  What about his penis?  I just wasn't sure.  If I cut off anything, I
wasn't sure if Syd would continue to compete in later rodeo competitions.
       Instead, I focused on the black space just next to his thighs.  I
knew there was no way my axes were large enough to sever a leg.  I lined up
my shot, then said, "I'm about to throw, Syd."
       I let the axe handle fly out of my hand, and it soared through the
air, landing just where I had intended.  Unfortunately, a bit of the blade
was sticking in the red.
       "Oow!" Syd yelled out.
       "Four points!" Cornelius said.
       Syd jumped off the target and put a hand to his bleeding thigh.
"Goddamn, that hurt, Jakey!  Why'd ya have to go and do me like that?"
       "You'll be fine," I said.  "Your skin heals quickly."
       "But not my dignity," he said.
       I laughed at him.  "I can't wound something you've never had."
       "Good point."
       Ryan took his turn on the line, with Arlene back on the board.  But
Ryan wasn't as willing to endanger his partner as I was.  He ended up
getting just three points again.
       "At the end of the second round, champions ahead, eight to seven!"
       Syd pulled me aside.  "We can't afford to lose my next throw!  Both
in terms of points, and more importantly, in the suspicious eyes of all
these people!"
       "I know."
       "So you'd better get Mr. Jumpy under control, right quick."
       "I'll try, but it isn't something that comes easy."
       "How'd you get it to work with Boyd George?"
       "Well, he sort of hugged me until I grew comfortable with him."
       Syd laughed.  "So, he pulled a Parker.  I can do that too, I can do
Parker.  Aww, do we need to hug it out right now, Jakey?  Hold hands and
run through daisies?  Cuddle while reading each other sappy romantic
greeting cards? All of Parker's favorite activities.  Would that help?"
       I knew that nothing like that would ever change the way I felt about
Syd.  "No, I'm fine."  I walked to my target, trying to take deep, relaxing
breaths.  I tried not to think about Syd as he took his spot at the line
and readied his axe.
       "You ready, sweetheart?"
       "Yes."
       He threw the axe, and I concentrated my whole body into staying like
a statue.  This time, I would not jump.
       The axe flew above my head, and I could feel the blade sinking into
the wood above me, the handle hitting me in the forehead.
       I flinched.
       "Disqualified! Cornelius shouted.
       The crowd gasped again.  In his box, I could see Jericho smiling
down villainously.
       I angrily jumped off the target.  I knew that it was hopeless as
long as it was Syd who was throwing at me.  How could I try to fool the
deep-seated mistrust inside me that he had so well earned?
       Syd looked seriously disappointed in me.  "Now it's all gonna come
down to your last throw."
       "I know that."
       "But the only way yer gonna win this for us is if you get a five."
       "I think I could get a five if you don't mind possibly losing a
finger," I said.
       "Oh yeah, I could just lose one of my fingers.  I have nine more,
after all.  I'm sure that wouldn't fuck up my guitar playing one bit, or my
talent for fingerin' pussy.  That sounds like a swell idea, Jakey.  No, you
ain't allowed to fucking cut off anything on me sides the hairs on my
head."  He squinted.  "But I think I have another plan."
       "Uh-oh," I said.  "Goodness, how much I revile your little plans."
       "You'll love this one.  If you threw the axe in the space in between
my thighs, you'd get a five."
       "Too bad your dick is there.  Or are you suggesting I cut that off?"
       "Jakey, don't even joke about that!  No, what if my huge dick wasn't
hangin' loose, but instead was reaching for the sky?  Then you'd just have
my balls to avoid, though true enough those things are goddamn huge too."
       "Alright, it's worth a shot," I said.
       "But the catch is, ya gotta help me get rock hard, as fast as you
can."
       "Are you kidding me?  You were erect through half of these events so
far.  You don't need my help for that."
       "I do, or the deal's off," he said.  "Those other times, I was
responding to you."
       "Fine, what do you need me to do?"
       "Your choice.  Blow me, or let me bite you."
       "Can't I just rub you with my hand?"
       "Nope, not enough time for that."
       "Fine," I said.
       I dropped to my knees and just stuck his soft penis into my mouth,
wanting to get this over with as expediently as possible.  I was so
disturbed by the taste of dried cum, dust, and animals that clung to his
dick.  I felt blood rushing into his manhood, hardening quickly in my
mouth.
       While I was getting him going, Arlene stepped up to her line and
looked towards Ryan on the target.  "I know what they're planning to do,"
Ryan said, pointing at the two of us.  "We could do the same real quick.
You could get more points by aiming towards my legs."
       "Nope," she said.  "Not risking injury to my favorite part of you,
babe."
       She threw the axe, and it safely hit the outside of the target.
       "One point!" Cornelius announced.  "Mr. Groves, you're up!"
       "Just one more sec!" Syd said as he grabbed his hard dick, squeezed
a drop of precum onto my tongue, and then pulled away from me.  "Okay, I'm
all set."
       Syd trotted over to his target while I took my spot seventeen feet
back, the axe in my hand.  This was it.  The importance of this shot was
making my hand tremble.
       I looked at Syd.  Unlike before, his dick was at hard as ever,
sticking straight up into the air and completely, leaving his pendulous
balls hanging between his legs, but I could aim around those.
       I took my time lining up the shot, wanting to make it absolutely
flawless.  Then I said, "I'm going to throw."
       I brought back the axe handle, moved my right arm forward, and then
let go with my right hand.  The blade went spinning towards the middle of
the target.  It landed with a sharp thud right between Syd's balls and his
left thigh.  But, excruciatingly, the blade started to slip out, and I know
if it ended up falling, I would lose.
       I prayed to God that it would stay, and he answered my request.
Amazingly the blade just barely remained embedded in the wood.
       "Five points!" Cornelius said.  "Challengers take the lead with
twelve to nine!"
       I let a smile run across my face.  Syd was overjoyed, running
towards me, hooting and hollering like the ecstatic cowboy he was.  "Our
plan worked, sweetheart!" he said excitedly, and he jumped against me,
humping me with his hardon against my bare skin.  For once, I didn't push
him away, I was too happy to care.
       "Don't celebrate yet," Ryan warned as he took my place on the line.
Syd and I backed off to the sideline as Arlene took her spot on the target.
       "He always gets three," I said to Syd.  "We're going to end up tied.
What happens if we tie?"
       "Champions win.  That won't do at all."
       Ryan threw his axe, but this time, instead of flying towards the
outside of the target, it surprised me when it went towards the low-middle.
       "Aww shit!" Syd yelled as the blade landed.
       I realized that the blade ended up right between Arlene's thighs.
       "That fuckin' copycat."
       I was infuriated as I realized the blade was sticking just fine.
Without Arlene having anything between her legs, there was so much open
black space there, it really was almost unfair.  Still, Ryan wasn't nearly
as good a shot as I was, and the axe ended up split between the red and
orange.  Was it also miraculously touching yellow too?  I couldn't see that
well from there, but that was all I could hope for.  I prayed it was so.
       "Three points!" Cornelius shouted, and Arlene and Ryan celebrated as
the crowd booed.  The only one who seemed pleased in the stands was
Jericho.  "Champions win!  Set up the arena for the final event, Calf
Roping!"
       They started taking away the axe targets and moving calves into the
enclosure.  Boyd quickly pulled me aside.
       "You got this," he said.  "And I'm more than a little glad that the
last one is gonna be an event that is more about you than it is about Syd."
He almost spit that last word out of his mouth, and I didn't blame him.
"Try not to think about anything `sides what we went over in practice."
       He was trying to keep my head in the game, which I admired.  But the
truth was, thinking about what was at stake was actually helping motivate
me to perform my best.  After all, if it wasn't for my family, I certainly
wouldn't be competing in this ridiculous rodeo just for the thrill of it
all.
       "How many calves do I need to win?" I asked.
       "First to four wins," he said.  "There's only seven calves in the
pen, so the competition could get heated.  You gotta be prepared not just
to rope the calves, but to evade any underhanded moves yer opponents make."
       "Thanks for that tip," I said.
       Syd got back up on Patches, this time sitting in the front of the
saddle.  He had put his hat and boots back on after the axe throwing event,
and of course had a cigarette between his lips again.  I waved the smoke
away as I got into the saddle behind him.
       We approached our gate, and across the pen from us, I could see
Arlene and Ryan on their horse, looking pretty relaxed.  The only thing
they had to lose in this rodeo competition was their pride.
       "Go!" Cornelius shouted, and the workers pulled open the two gates
simultaneously.  Syd slammed his boots into the Patches's ribs and launched
us into the arena.  He made a sharp right towards the nearest calf, such a
hard turn that I felt like I was going to fall off, and had to wrap my arms
around Syd's body and hold onto his torso with my hands to stay on.
       I felt him grab my hands with his own.  "If you're gonna reach
around me like that, why not hold onto the horn?"
       I felt him move my hands down in the direction of the horn.
Instead, I felt his hard dick in my in my hands, and moved them back up to
his body angrily.
       "That wasn't the stupid saddle horn, Syd!"
       "I never said it was the saddle horn, Jakey, but this horn is way
bigger and a lot more sturdy than anything on that saddle."
       "I'll manage without it, thanks."
       We zipped towards the calf, and I pulled a rope out of the satchel
that was attached to the saddle, starting to spin the loop overhead.  The
calf tried to run, but before it could make an escape I had the rope around
its head.  I handed my spoke to Syd, jumped off the horse, grabbed another
rope and hustled over to the animal.  In seconds, I had it fully tied down.
       "Challengers have one," Cornelius announced, and the crowd cheered.
       When I turned to find the horse, I could see Syd riding towards me.
Instead of stopping, he just sailed on past me, to my left, leaving me no
chance to jump on.
       "Syd!"
       "What's the matter, Jakey?  How come you didn't just jump on?  Boyd
always did when we were practicing."  He steered back towards me.
       "You made your point Syd," I said.  "If it costs us this event, I
will never forgive you."
       "Ha.  There's already a long list of things that you say you'll
never forgive me for, so I'm just not sure that threat holds much water
with me, Jakey."
       I got back on the horse just as Cornelius yelled, "Champions have
their first!"
       Syd steered us towards the next calf, but as it happened, Arlene and
Ryan were heading for the very same calf, our two horses moving towards
each other, almost looking like we were involved in an equine version of a
game of chicken.  We were exactly the same distance from the calf, with
each of us gaining at exactly the same pace.
       As we started to get into range, Ryan swung his rope overhead, and I
did the same.  I winced as I saw he was able to get his loop out a half
second before I did.
       I swore his loop would land right over the calf's head, with Syd and
I then forced to find another calf and lose all sorts of time.  Instead,
his rope came up just half a foot short.
       Mine almost immediately floated over the calf's head perfectly, as I
had been able to throw my loop just a bit farther than Ryan.  Syd pulled to
a stop, took the rope in his hands, and I was on the ground as Arlene and
Ryan moved to another nearby calf.  I quickly grabbed a rope and tied the
animal.
       "Challengers have two!" Cornelius yelled, and it almost seemed like
his unbiased tone was just slightly showing some sign of satisfaction.
       As soon I got back on the horse, Syd rode us towards our next
nearest calf.  On the way there, I heard, "Champions have two."
       The calf we were riding after was nearby the log fence, and as we
approached it, it ran quickly towards that barricade, just before I could
manage to rope it.  Syd moved the horse towards it in such a way as to trap
it against the fence, and I figured we had another easy point.
       Instead, the animal behaved in an absolutely ridiculous way,
sticking its head through the logs of the fence and trying to break through
into freedom.  There was no way with the head completely out of view to me
that I would be able to rope this one.
       I assumed that the calf would realize escape was futile and pull
back out of the fence.  It quickly did that very thing, but instead of
pulling its head back into view so I'd be able to rope it, it got its head
totally stuck and was unable to free itself.
       "Should we do another one?" I asked Syd.
       Syd looked around.  "Ain't any `round here to do.  Here, you'll just
have to rope it."
       He pulled the horse up right along the fence, and I realized I could
see the calf's head, sticking through the fence, out to the other side.  I
spun my rope and threw my loop over the fence and around the calf's neck.
That tactic worked excellently, and soon Syd was holding onto my spoke.
       I jumped off the horse, grabbed a second rope, and tied the calf
down, even though the calf certainly wasn't moving, as stuck as it was.
       "Challengers have three!"
       "Hurry up, Jakey!" Syd yelled.
       I jumped up on the horse as quickly as I could.
       "Champions have three!  One calf left!"
       Syd shot the horse towards the middle of the arena, where the single
calf remained.  Once again, I could see Arlene and Ryan barreling towards
it as well, but this time, we were a tiny bit ahead of them.  As soon as we
were near enough, I had my loop around that calf's neck, and my heart
started to pound from the excitement of imminent victory as I handed the
spoke to Syd and climbed off the horse.
       Just as I ripped the whole satchel off the horse, I noticed the
oddest thing: Ryan jumped off his horse and rolled on the ground towards
that calf.  What the heck was he planning?  Was he trying to get the win by
being the first one to tie the last calf, even through Cornelius would
surely call him for cheating since he had not been the one to rope the
calf?
       I didn't have time to think about it, I reacted by running towards
the calf just as he did, hoping to end this by beating him to our mutual
target.
       While the two of us were running, I noticed behind Ryan, Arlene made
a sudden change of course on the horse and knocked her boots into their
animal's sides.  I didn't have the foggiest notion what she was trying to
do.
       She rode her horse violently into the rope that connected Syd to
that calf.  He was so surprised by her maneuver that in spite of him trying
his hardest to hold on, the rope slipped and the animal ran free away from
us all.
       "You little... that's a move straight out of the playbook of Syd!"
my partner snapped.
       That's when Ryan pulled out his rope and started spinning it
overhead, looking towards the calf.
       No, no, no, I would not let this happen, not let them win this by
practically cheating when my family's lives were on the line.
       I quickly pulled out my own rope from the satchel, and started to
spin mine as well.  Like lightening, my loop was released and flying right
towards its target.
       Which it reached a second before Ryan's own loop reached it.  My
rope landed uselessly just after Ryan pulled his rope tight around the
calf's head.  He was going to win this.  The crowd gasped in horror, as
Arlene and Ryan's faces tasted victory.
       "This is a breach of the rules!" Cornelius interrupted.  "This head
roping is nullified because the roper was not on the back of the horse at
the time the rope was thrown."
       Ryan's face looked absolutely devastated as he dropped his rope.
Both he and I looked at each other in the eye, processing for only a moment
what would be required now.
       At exactly the same time, we each pivoted around to face our
respective horses and started to sprint towards them.  Arlene and Syd both
started riding towards the two of us as well, pounding their heels into the
horses and leaning forward.
       I was going so fast when I reached the horse, that for the first
time ever, I half jumped, half scrambled up into the saddle, much more
quickly than I ever knew I could.
       Immediately, I had a rope in my hand and was launching that loop
towards the calf just as I saw Ryan do the same from his horse.
       Mine reached the calf's head just before Ryan's did that time, and I
quickly pulled it tight.  I handed Syd the rope and jumped off the horse.
Arlene started to race her horse towards Syd's line again, and I quickly
ran for the calf.
       I roped the calf JUST before Arlene pulled the rope out of Syd's
hands again, thank the Lord.
       "Challengers win, this event and the whole match!" Cornelius
shouted, and the crowd took to their feet and started to cheer.
       Jericho looked like he was making use of all sorts of angry curse
words and he quickly stormed out of his box and out of sight.
       Syd was getting off the horse, and Arlene and Ryan as well.  They
were politely offering us congratulations, and I thanked them.
       Cornelius offered his congratulations as well.  Boyd, where was
Boyd?
       I saw him looking so thrilled, off to the side, and I ran over and
jumped into his arms, totally overcome was exhilaration.  He caught me, his
strong hands holding my bare butt, as he pushed my naked body against his
clothed one in a huge hug.  "I knew ya could do it.  Never once had any
doubts."
       He set me down, and I brought his horse over to him, thanking him
again.  Both of us looked into each other eyes with a restrained longing:
we both so wanted to show more affection to each other than we knew we were
allowed.
       "Should we meet for another lesson tomorrow afternoon?" he asked
hopefully.  "To start preparing for your next competition?"
       "Yes, I'd love that."
       I didn't even mind too much when Syd came over and slapped me on the
butt.  "That was too close," I said to him as I started to put my clothes
back on.  The workers were deconstructing the temporary parts of the
corral, and the crowds were making their way out of the stands, people
brawling each other and falling over drunk all over the place.  "We should
have won long before the last event."
       "Don't be too hard on yerself.  You'll be better next time," Syd
said to me.
       "I'll be better?  You're the one who willingly threw events in the
name of pleasing the crowd!"
       "And yer the one who goddamn jumped every time ya had an axe coming
yer way."
       "Well, you're the one who--"
       "Congratulations!" Glaucia said, coming over and giving us both
cheerful hugs.
       "Thanks, Glaucia," I said.  "Syd, aren't you going to put your
clothes back on now?" I asked, watching poor Glaucia try to avoid touching
his hanging bits as she hugged him.
       "Why bother?  It's a warm day, ain't it?"
       "Oh my God, I was on the edge of my seat the entire match," she
gushed.  "But I just knew you'd come through, because the two of you, well,
you're just like the perfect couple, you're like one soul in two bodies.
And the sexual stuff, it of course was no problem for you two, because you
two have made an art out of making love to each other, and your physical
closeness shines through.  I assume you trained together the whole way?"
       "Oh yes, Glaucia," Syd said.  "I taught Jakey here everything he
knows about rodeo, ain't I, darlin?'"
       "Mmm-hmm," I said, unexcitedly.  I couldn't believe he was going to
make me sweep Boyd and Parker under the rug.
       "And you're right, Glaucia," Syd said.  "We fuck so often, we just
apply all the love and intimacy we have in our beds to the sport.  That's
why we are so connected."
       "Well, it's working, magically."  Her face turned from happy to
anxious.  "Look, can I level with you two about something?"
       "Of course," I said.
       "Well," she said in a hushed tone of voice.  "I just found out I'm
supposed to be competing against you two if you win your next competition,
and I'm not too pleased about it."
       "We don't want to compete against you either, Glaucia," I said.
"But that's just Jericho's deal."
       "Yes, well, speaking of Jericho."  She looked around to make sure no
one was eavesdropping.  "When I got pregnant, well, I may have told a
little lie.  You see, he was so concerned about this rodeo thing.  He said
he refused to marry anyone who wasn't excellent in rodeo, I had no idea
why.  So, I lied, and told him I was some rodeo queen, when the truth is, I
can barely ride a horse, and this is the first time I've ever even seen the
rodeo."
       "He didn't make you compete when you got married like we have to?" I
asked.
       "Nope," she said.  "I told him because I was pregnant, I couldn't
compete in the rodeo like they normally expect couples to.  And then as
soon as I gave birth, I left before he had a chance to make me enter any
rodeo competition.  I had figured the matter was dead and buried, but now
that you two have come here, for some reason, he has the itch to compete
again.  He's expecting that when we go out there, I'm going to floor
everyone with my rodeo prowess.  The truth is, I won't be able to get
through a half second of any of the insane events I witnessed today.  When
Jericho figures out I've lied, I'm not sure what he'll do to me."
       I could see the fear in her face, and I felt truly sorry for her.
"I wish we could help, Glaucia, but we're not backing down or throwing our
next match so that you can avoid competing."
       "No, no, that's not at all what I am asking of you.  I would never
expect that.  I'm hoping you can train me together.  Show me how you've
learned these events through love and connection, and I'll see if I can
learn it the best I can.  I know you may be hesitant to train your future
competitor, but in this case, I'm begging you as a friend and family
member, not as your competition."
       "We'd love to teach you what we know, Glaucia," Syd answered before
I even had a chance to process my thoughts.
       "Oh, goodie, thanks you guys!"
       "When should we start?" he asked.
       "The sooner the better.  I don't have nearly as much time as I'd
like as it is."
       "We'll go over this tomorrow then," Syd said.  "Late morning sound
okay with everyone?"
       "I drop off Lewis for riding lessons with Polly in the morning, so
that would be perfect."
       "Alright," I agreed begrudgingly.
       "Thanks again you two!"  She hugged us appreciatively before making
her exit.
       Cornelius approached us.  "Mr. Logan, you'd better put some clothes
on and hurry over to Meredith's shop to try on your tux.  She's been
waiting there most of the morning, I'm afraid."
       "Right," he said.  "Wedding duty calls.  I'm going straight there.
Ain't I a dream groom, Cornelius?  Always willing to help out my bride in
any of the wedding plans."
       "I'm not sure if those are the exact words I'd use to describe you,
but your cooperation with Meredith is appreciated."
       Syd finally did put his clothes back on, and the three of us got on
our respective horses and rode across the fields back towards the Mareshead
stables.  Syd and Cornelius put their horses back quickly, while I wanted
to spend some time looking after Patches personally.  "You two go on
ahead," I said.
       "Wouldn't you want to come see your fiancé in his tux?" Cornelius
asked.
       "Of course I do," I lied.  "I'll be right there."
       After Syd and Cornelius left, I carefully groomed and fed Patches.
       "I may not typically find much value in members of your species, but
I want to extend my deepest gratitude for taking care of me today," I said
before I left.

       *****

       Cornelius and I sat patiently inside Meredith's shop while Syd
dressed in his stall, neither one of us yet getting any glimpse of the tux
yet.
        "Now, you understand that the groom's tuxedo is traditionally
supposed to have no color on it, just shades of grey, black, and white, so
that's all I had to work with.  Are you ready, Syd?" she called.
       "Just about got it, I think," Syd said.  "It ain't exactly easy
figuring it all out."
       I could see Meredith trying to hide a smirk.
       "Righto, here comes the groom," he said, and then he appeared out of
his dressing room for the three of us to see.
       "Oh, oh my," Cornelius said, clearly debauched.
       I couldn't hold it in any longer, all I could do was laugh.  I
looked at him from top to bottom.  On his head was a ridiculously tall,
black top hat that would clearly be a chore to keep balanced on one's head.
He had a black bowtie around his neck, but no shirt to speak of, making his
buff upper body look like a Chippendales dancer.  He had black leather
straps around his upper arms, showing off his bis and tris, and black bows
tied around his wrists.
       He had black bowed pasties glued onto his sexy nipples, which I
found especially hilarious.  Below these, he had on a thin, black
cummerbund that was just floating around, unattached to anything else, but
tightly wrapped around his abs, covering his belly button.
       Below the waist, instead of pants, he was wearing a black leather
jock.  The thin straps in the back left his muscular butt completely
exposed, though it covered him in the front, just like a jock should.  But
that led to what was truly my favorite part of the tux.  Hanging on the
front between his legs was an artistically decorative, two-dimensional
representation of the front of an elephant's head, specially created out of
grey and white fabric.
       It would have been a randomly weird attempt to cover up the front of
his jock, if not for the fact that there was a round hole cut out of the
picture right where the elephant's trunk should have been, and in fact
there wasn't any trunk included in the elephant's picture at all.  That's
because Syd was providing the trunk himself.  His huge, soft dick was
pulled through the trunk hole, and was just hanging down for all to see,
actually making the elephant's trunk way out of proportion to the rest of
the elephant's head.  This meant the bulge in his jock was being caused by
his huge balls alone.  Around the rim of his pink mushroom head was my
favorite part of the outfit, a neat little black bowtie to match the larger
one.
       On his feet, he had on a pair of fancy black leather boots that had
very strange one foot tall platforms, which looked even harder to walk in
than the stiletto heels the women had to wear.  When you took the extra
foot being added under Syd's feet, along with the almost two feet being
added above him with the top hat, he looked just monstrously tall, and
certainly wouldn't fit easily though any doors.
       "How does it look?" Syd asked.
        "Did you forget to put on your pants and jacket, Mr. Logan?"
Cornelius asked.
       "Nope, this is it."
       "Good heavens!  I'm getting too old for these wild new fashions."
       "I'll have you know that this hole had to be enlarged twice before
it was wide enough for my unit," he said.
       "Mr. Groves, is this all that you envisioned?" asked Cornelius.  "Do
you approve?"
       "Yeah, soon to be bride of mine.  What do you think?"
       I was having a hard time stopping my laughter enough to answer.  "I,
I love it," I said.  "It's perfect."
       "Good, because you already gave me a blank check to do it as I
wanted," Meredith said.  "There's really no going back at this stage."
       "Yes, I understand.  No, it's just perfect."
       "Well, I'm happy if you're happy, creampuff," Syd said to me.
       I wasn't sure why Syd was being so gracious about all of it.  Was it
because this outfit revealed all explicit details about his studly body,
blending perfectly with his need to be adored?  No, if that was the case,
he would have walked around the Mansion buck naked instead of wearing his
cowboy clothes.  He clearly wanted to fit into his specific definition of
having nice clothes.  He should have been more ashamed than he was, being
forced to be degraded, but his smile persisted.
       "Well, this tux is a real stunner," Syd said.  "I just hope the
groomsmen come to like it as much as I do."
       My smile faded.  "What do you mean?" I asked.
       "Well, you remember, Jakey," Syd said.  "In our weddings,
traditionally the groomsmen have the exact same tuxes, only instead o'
black, theirs are white."
       "You knew that beforehand, didn't you?" Meredith asked.  "I've
already had all the other tuxes made the same way."
       "Oh yeah, I knew," I said, trying to play it off.
       Now I understood why Syd had been so pleasant.  He knew he was going
to have the last laugh.  I thought of the best man, Parker, being forced to
try on this terrible outfit, and I cringed.
       "Of course, I'd make sure Jakey's present for all the `em when they
try `em on," Syd said.  "They'll want to thank the person who approved
those outfits, I'm sure."
       "That seems appropriate," Cornelius said.
       "Syd, remind me which of your groomsmen still need to try on their
tuxes?" I asked, wanting to ask who the rest of the groomsmen were, but not
wanting to admit freely that I didn't know already.
       "Well, there's Parker."
       "We'll have to wait until he comes back from Fools Gold," Meredith
said.
       I was already dreading him having to try on that awful thing.
Hopefully he would understand and forgive me.
       "And cousin Ted," Syd said.
       "We'll need him to come to Mareshead for a fitting," Meredith said.
       "He lives not far from here, shouldn't be hard," Syd said.  "And
then there's Tom the bartender from Lettie's."
       I cringed, thinking back to the obese bartender that I had met
briefly.
       "I was having Lettie and Tom come up to Mareshead together from
Fools Gold for a fitting," she said.
       "Who else?" I asked.
       "Well, of course there's old Uncle Walt, Ted's aging human father."
       "Of course," I said, hoping he wasn't that old.  I did the math in
my head against the number of bridesmaids I had.  "And who does that
leave?"
       "Well, my father, of course," said Syd.
       I tried to restrain the face of horrible surprise I must have had.
No, it could not be Jericho.  It didn't make any sense for someone to pick
their parent to be their groomsman, did it?
       "Right, of course," Meredith said.  "It's always tradition for
grooms to have their closest family for their groomsmen, which you've
followed to the T."
       I was going to have to be present when Jericho tried on his outfit,
which already was starting to make me sick.  I hated Syd, and loved to see
him ridiculed, but Syd was a harmless nothing compared to his father.
Jericho would not stand to be the butt of ridicule, not without snapping
back violently.
       Then I could see that amiable smile that seemed so patient with this
embarrassment before had turned into a secretly smug grin.  "I'll take
these off now," Syd said, going back into the changing room.
       "Oh, Mr. Logan?" Meredith asked.
       "Huh?" said Syd from inside the changing room.
       "Just be careful when taking off the pasties, you got some of
your--"
       "ACK!" Syd cried out in pain.  "Aw, hell!"
       "...chest hair stuck in them."
       I smiled, loving that it was me who got the last laugh after all.

       *****

       Syd and I were in the mess hall, getting our lunches to go, getting
congratulated by various people who saw our success in the rodeo, when I
saw Tucker sitting at the bar, nursing a glass of some alcoholic liquid.
       "I can't believe Tucker is drinking again," I said, dismayed.
       Syd laughed.  "What are you, his AA sponsor?  Leave the poor guy
alone."
       "No, I'm going over there and I'm giving him a piece of my mind," I
said, rushing off towards the bar.
       "Yeah, you go darlin,'" he said.  "You go save that poor soul from
his beer!  Jesus would be so proud of you!"
       I ignored him and stomped over to the bar.  "Tucker, you fell off
the wagon," I said to him.
       "Ya mean on our stagecoach ride here?" he asked.  "I may have been
drunk, but I ain't fell off no stagecoach.  That's why I never ride on top
of the stagecoach no more."
       "No, you're drinking again," I said, pointing at the drink in his
hand.
       "Wha,' this?  Nah.  It ain't the hot stuff, Jake.  It's just what
you ordered at Lettie's.  Water."
       "They don't serve water at these bars, and your drink clearly is
brown," I said.
       He looked at the brown tint of the liquid in his glass.  "Ah, no
wonder this water tastes like shit," he said.
       "Come on," I said.  "I can hear you slurring your words again.  You
can't fool me, Tucker."
       "Alright, fine, you had the right in it.  I had a drink or two.  But
only `cause the Governor needs me to report to him this afternoon.  I just
need to drink if I'm expected to perform, ya know?"
       "Why?"
       "Because without the liquor, all the feelings take over.  Get to me.
Make me all a mess.  The alcohol drowns all that, helps me get by.  But I'm
only ever drinkin' before the few times I knew the Governor needs me.
Otherwise, I'm good as dry, you'll see."
       "We all have to deal with anxiety," I said.  "You should be learning
to control it without using alcohol as a crutch."
       "And you should be learning to keep yer big mouth shut and not give
advice to folks who ain't askin' for it," he said, his voice taking a nasty
turn that I had never heard before.
       "Fine, drink yourself to death, for all I care," I said, leaving
angrily.
       I rejoined Syd just as our food was ready to take away.  "I can tell
your intervention made a world of good for that one," Syd mocked.
       "Shuttup, Syd."
       "Temper, sunshine.  We wouldn't want people here to get the wrong
idea."
       As we walked towards Syd's place, our rapport changed dramatically
from cold indifference to hot romance depending on if we were alone or not
at any given moment in the hallways.  We went into the Great Room, needing
to walk across it and up three flights in order to get to Syd's room, and
as soon as we entered, I took stock of the goings on as I started to follow
Syd's leisurely pace through the room.
       I was thankful that the cage in the room was still empty, but not
thankful for the fact that Jericho was sitting on his throne.  Giggles was
standing beside him, and two strangers were in the room, standing before
the Logans.  One of them, a handsome, 30-something man that made me think
he was a vampire until I saw he had dark eyes, was standing in front,
looking up at Jericho.  He was Caucasian, and dressed in a modern suit and
tie, which clearly distinguished him from everyone else.  The other
stranger was a little girl, probably a bit older than Lewis, she too was
wearing modern clothing, but she had on a peculiar mask.
       "Go on, Agent Macon," Giggles said to the man.
       "The fire started on the side of the house where her bedroom was,"
he said.  "I tried to pull her out of there, but I, I was too slow.  Show
them, Mackenzie."
       The girl removed her mask, and I gasped as I saw her face; all scars
and ruined, burnt skin, it was so sad.  She took off the sweatshirt she was
wearing, leaving just a tank, and I could see her arms and shoulders were
in the same state.
       "I just about cry every time I see her," Agent Macon said.
       "Dad, sorry, but you're being stupid," Mackenzie said.  "It used to
hurt a whole lot, but now it doesn't.  I'm still just as happy as I was
before."
       I was so proud of that brave little girl.
       The father seemed to ignore her.  "I know you can heal things like
this," he said.
       "Any objections, Daddy?" Giggles asked.
       Jericho shook his head.
       Giggles came forward, all smiles towards the little girl.  "Let me
touch you, sweet child."  She reached out and touched the girl's burnt
face.
       The girl looked at Giggles' colorful, ruffled period dress.  "Are
you my fairy godmother?" she asked.
       Giggles let out her signature laugh as she closed her eyes.  "You
betcha.  Now, hold on.  Bippidi- Boppidi-Boo!"
       By the time she was done saying it, the girl's face and arms had
healed to their normal state, revealing what used to be an adorably cute
face.  She looked down at the healed skin, awestruck.  "Wow, you really
were magical!"
       Her father was in tears.  He ran over, dropping to his knees,
hugging his girl.  "Let me get a look at you, Mack."  He rested his hands
on her pure, white cheeks, his mouth hanging open, a dumfounded smile on
his face.  "You are so beautiful.  My beautiful, beautiful Mackenzie."
       Seeing him cry was getting me choked up as well, though I kept the
tears at bay.  It was such a beautiful thing that Giggles was so easily
able to give this girl her normal life back.
       "Now, we have some business to attend to," Jericho said.
       Giggles grabbed Mackenzie's hand and led her towards one of the
exits.  "Come on, Mackenzie, let's play together while the men discuss the
boring details."
       "Yeay!" Mackenzie said, skipping along with Giggles out the door.
        "You know the price of our gifts," Jericho said sternly.
       "I know, sir," Agent Macon said.
       "I own you now for the rest of your life.  Any favor I need you to
perform you'll do.  Any favor, no matter how distasteful it seems."
       I was completely shocked.  Just what sort of orders would this agent
be getting from Jericho?  If he would be subverting the activities of law
enforcement that could lead to the loss of innocent lives, well then the
trade he made for his daughter's normalcy was not at all worth it.
       "I understand, sir."
       "Good," Jericho said.  "Because you should know that when people
refuse to pay the agreed price for my gifts, I take my gifts back.  She's
such a beautiful girl.  We wouldn't want anything to change that, would
we?"
       Syd and I left the Great Room, entering the third story hallway.
       "And that's how so many people of importance, like so many local FBI
like that doofus, sell their souls to the Logans," Syd said.
       "Well, at least Giggles was able to take the high road and heal that
poor girl, even if Jericho turned something beautiful into slime."
       "Ha, ya kiddin' me there, Jakey?" Syd asked.  "I been around this
mansion long enough to know that Jericho probably asked Giggles to start
that fire in the first place.  That's just the way things work `round
here."
       "You're lying, Giggles wouldn't do that."
       "Oh, right, because she's a fucking saint, I'm sure."
       When we got to Syd's room and started eating our lunches, I noticed
Syd's cell phone, still discarded on the floor, continued to ring.
       "Aren't you going to answer that, Syd?" I asked.
       "Why should I?" he asked, stuffing his gross macaroni and cheese in
his mouth with his fingers.
       "Because it might be someone important," I said.
       "Like who?  Ed Mcmahon is long dead."
       "Who is that?" I asked.
       He groaned.  "Goddamn, boy, did yer mother deprive you of a TV as a
boy?  If so, she owes me damages for the pain and suffering I have to go
through every day when my jokes go right over yer head."
       "No, she encouraged me to watch TV, but all I found valuable were
sports, history shows, and science programs.  I don't see what any of this
has to do with you answering the phone like a normal person."
       "Jakey, I'm goddamn thirsty, and I'm a more than a single dose of
horny as well.  I ain't got time to be chit chatting on the phone right
now."
       "What if it's a hot lady calling?" I asked.
       "Then she'd come over here and knock on the goddamn door good and be
ready to strip down.  I need real flesh, not phone sex."  He started
walking towards the door.  "Now, I'm gonna find me a hookup downstairs and
bring her back up here for some afternoon delight.  If you're here when I
get back, yer welcome to join us."
       He left, and that was my cue to get the heck out of that room for
the rest of the afternoon.  I finished my lunch, ignored the ringing phone,
and decided to go for a hike outside.
       I hiked to the same glistening stream that Parker had brought me
fishing on.  I had almost taken a rod with me and spent the afternoon
fishing, but I felt like somehow that was a betrayal to Parker, especially
since I had refused his offers to go fishing again with him because I had
made the wrong conclusions about Annie.  I did find myself missing the guy
as I took my hike.
       When I got to my turning around point, I stopped and sat down on a
rock, just enjoying the beautiful surroundings.  I got starting to think
again how easy it would be do escape this way, to just pack up my things
and hike along this stream until I came to normal civilization.
       But that course of action led to a thousand uncertainties: would
they find me and kill me for escaping?  Would I die in the wild on my own?
Would they kill my family?  It made it clear to me that I needed to stick
out my current course of action, as unpleasant that mansion was for me.
       By the time I got back to Syd's room, it was close to dinner time.
I knocked carefully before entering, not wanting to interrupt anything, but
when I got into the room, although Syd was clearly alone, he was clearly in
his post-coitus phase, lying naked alone in the bed, smoking his cigarette
with his right hand, his left hand lazily rubbing the sweaty fur on his
chest.  He had a condom wrapped around his dick, which was laying on his
belly, in that phase after sex where the penis gets limp without ever
really softening.  Like usual, he had copious amounts of semen gathered all
around the pink head of his dick and that area of extra space that the cum
was pooling in at the tip of the condom.
       "Aww, ya just missed out on all the fun, Jakey," he said.
       "How severely disappointing," I said.
       He stuck his Marlboro between his lips and got up off the bed.  He
used both hands to pull his condom off his dick carelessly, milking his
dickhead one last time on the exposed latex.  He lifted his insane amount
of goo in the condom of to his eye level and smiled with pride at what he
had produced.
       "Last chance for my massive load of rattlesnake venom," he said,
stepping towards me and waving the condom in my face.
       "Somehow, I'm still not interested," I said, jumping away from him.
       He tossed the condom in the trash, where it exploded and gushed all
over the inside of the can.
        "Wow, call in the marching band, you actually managed to get your
used condom into the trash this time.  I am so proud of your
accomplishment.  I know how much effort that took for you, you must be
thoroughly bushed now."
       "And we'll have to throw a parade in yer honor, Jakey.  You've
managed to break the world record for delivering the most sarcastic,
condescending jibes of all time.  Congrats on that achievement."  He threw
on his robe.  "Well, we're plum outta all the good alcohol, and happy
hour's fast approaching.  I'm gonna go down and get it restocked.  Unless
yer gonna freak out about me drinkin' like ya did on Tucker this morning,
go all Betty Ford on my ass."
       "In your case, Syd, I don't see how drinking could possibly make you
any stupider, so I'm actually okay with it."
       "I love it when we agree on important relationship matters, darlin.'
I'll be back later."
       He didn't even bother to put shoes on; he just left the room in just
his robe.  I took the opportunity to start filling up the bath with clean
water.  I stripped off my hiking clothes and jumped in the tub, enjoying
the feeling of the hot water.  I certainly wasn't comfortable bathing when
Syd was in the room, so I tried to sneak my baths into whatever alone time
I got.
       I had just started to lather up when Syd barged back in the room
much sooner than I had expected, carrying boxes of clinking bottles of
alcohol.  As soon as set them down, he came over to the bath.
       "Oooh, perfect, baby, you must have read my mind.  I totally need a
bath."
       He took off his robe and threw it on the floor, and then he lifted
his foot to start to step in the water.
       "Uh-uh, no you don't," I said, blocking him from coming into the
water with my body.  "This is MY bath."
       "Ah, come on, sweetheart, I'm still filthy from all the lovemakin' I
was doin' all afternoon.  You don't even want to know what that lady wanted
me to do to her."
       "No, I absolutely do not, please don't share it with me.  And that's
even more of a reason not to sully my clean bath water," I said.
       "What am I supposed to do?" he asked.  "You already complained about
me washing my Johnson off in the sink.
       "You'll wait until I'm done, and then you'll take a separate bath
from me."
       "Fine," he said.  "I'll just amuse myself reading a book in the
meantime."
       "Syd, the only thing I've ever seen you read are the dating profiles
of women on online hook-up sites."
       "That's because you hardly know me," he said.  "I'm perfectly
capable of readin' with the best of `em.  I'll read this here book, just to
show you."
       He picked up my biography of Jefferson, cracked it open, and sat on
his bed, adopting a new expression I had never seen before on his face:
studiousness.
       I lathered my body for about a minute and a half before Syd dropped
the book and came over to the bathtub.  "I'm bored sick," he said.  "I
ain't made to wait around forever, Jakey."
       "Forever, huh?  You haven't even been waiting for two minutes!"
       "I'm coming in," he said.
       I tried to block him again, but he overpowered me, forcing his dirty
feet that he had just used to walk through the mansion barefoot into the
bath with me.  I was so, so angry.  He lowered his knees into the water,
forcing me to the back end of the tub.
       "Don't you dare even think about sticking your semen crusted penis
into this water!" I said, squinting at the sight of his dick, which was
absolutely covered in his white jizz, being lowered closer to the water.
       "But it needs washing more than any other part of me."  He smiled
cheerfully, then lowered his huge dick into the water and started to wash
the cum off of it with his hands.
        "UUUUUGGH!" I yelled, jumping out of the bathtub completely.
"Disgusting!"
       "Ah, come on Jakey, the water's clean, sharing a bath with me ain't
gonna kill ya."
       "It might as well kill me," I said.
       He started to use my bathwater to clean himself off, pouring way too
much shampoo over his head and lathering it up.
       When he finished his bath and stepped out of the tub, I yelled, "You
can unplug the drain- stopper."
       "But we both know how much you love washing in my old bath water,
Jakey."
       "I'd sooner bathe in boiling acid."
       "Oh, well, knowing my father's creative penchant for offing his
slaves, I'm sure we have that laying around here somewhere, if ya want me
to ask," he said as he pulled the drain up.
       I ignored him, and instead scrubbed the tub furiously with soap and
hot water until I knew it was sanitary again.  Only after that would I let
myself get back into a freshly drawn bath and scrub all of Syd's mess off
of me.
       Syd was far too busy preening and admiring himself in the mirror
naked, too entertained by his own reflection to pay any attention to what I
was doing, so I used the moment of serenity to shut my eyes and relax.
       At that moment, his annoyingly loud cell phone went off, surprising
me out of my tranquility.  "Please tell me you've answered your phone since
this morning."
       "Sure, I'll tell ya that, Jakey, but it'll be a lie."
       "It sounds like you've purposely picked out the most annoying ring
tone ever invented just to torture me," I said.
       "I have to get my jollies somehow," he said.  "If it's annoying you,
you can always answer it.  Maybe it's yer friend Jesus Christ calling."
       "I'm not answering your phone."
       "Well, I'm much too busy making my studly face somehow even
studlier," he said, slapping on some aftershave.
       But after the third call, I couldn't hold out anymore.  I got out of
the tub and grabbed his phone from the floor.  "Whoever this is, I feel
very sorry for you," I said.  "Perhaps you'll think twice about ever
becoming Syd's acquaintance again."
       "Jake, is that you?" came a familiar voice.
       "Della?"
       "I've been calling all day long!  I need to talk to Syd
immediately!"
       "Alright, he's right here."  I walked over towards Syd.  "Your aunt
needs to talk to you right now."
       "Put it on speaker," he said.
       I switched Syd's phone over to speaker and set it on the bathroom
counter before I started to get dressed.
       "Hi, Della.  To what do I owe the pleasure, my aunt?"
       "Just shut it, will ya child?" she asked angrily.  "I've been
calling all goddamned day."
       "I'm sorry, I just wasn't around," he said, and I snorted.
       "Oh, shove the bullshit, Syd," she said.  "You just need to listen
to me, and listen to me fast.  One of the nurses here made the mistake of
giving Rose a letter this morning that had been written by the Governor.
It was filled with information about your phony marriage proposal to Jake.
When she learned that Jake was still alive due to this reason alone, she
freaked out, telling us she knew for sure the marriage was a sham, and
she'd prove it."
       "Well, as long as she's in the hospital, she ain't gonna prove
nothing," Syd said.
       "That's just it," Della said.  "She demanded to leave.  I tried to
tell her she still was not well, and she just ripped the IV off her wrist
and pushed her way past my nurses."
       I gasped.
       "Okay, we'll just have to do damage control.  Where is she now,
Della?  I'll have one of my Fools Gold friends to find her."
       "She got on the morning stagecoach to Mareshead, Syd," she said.
"Now you can see why I've been spending my whole day on the phone trying to
call you instead of actually getting anything done."
       "That stagecoach gets in at around 4:30 in the afternoon," Syd said.
       I looked at my watch.  "That was five minutes ago."
       "Thanks so much Della, I have to go."  He hung up.  "We absolutely
need to intercept her before she gets to my father, or you'll be a goner in
a matter of hours, Jakey."  He started to throw on his bathrobe.
       "I'm already on my way," I said, slamming open the door and starting
to run through the hall, though I had no idea what I would actually say if
I got to Rose.  I didn't seem to have anything to bargain with, so I would
just have to appeal to her good will, if it existed at all.
       I threw the door open to the Great Room and ran inside.  As I ran
down the stairs to the second story balcony, I could see Jericho occupied
on his throne, talking to Tucker and Cornelius and some others I didn't
recognize, and I saw Rose enter the room through the main entrance with an
angry, determined look upon her face.
       Syd came barreling past me down the stairs, much faster than I was.
I tried to keep up with him, but all I ended up doing was tripping over the
bottom of his bathrobe and falling to my knees as he cut in front of me and
leapt over the banister, doing an acrobatic swing, and landing on the
ground floor.
       "Uh-oh," I said as I realized I had his bathrobe stuck around my
ankles, and he was suddenly running towards Rose buck naked.
       When he got to her, he lifted her up and carried her through one of
the side doors, while she started clawing into his eyes, more pissed off
than I'd ever seen her before.
       One of the strangers talking with Jericho asked, "Mr. Governor, Did
I just see your son run naked across the hall?"
       Jericho nodded.
       "Yes Ma'am," Cornelius answered for him.  "Certainly not the first
time he's done that either, I'm afraid."
       I almost followed Syd and Rose, but I remembered how poorly Rose and
I got along, and I decided my presence would only make things worse.  Which
meant I had to leave my life in Syd's clumsy hands, a thought that brought
little comfort.
       Having nothing else to do, I walked back to Syd's room and stopped
all but short of pacing, waiting for Syd to return.  He was gone much
longer than I would have ever thought possible, and I just couldn't fathom
why he was taking so long.  Was it because Syd had failed, and she was
debriefing Jericho?
       Finally, the door opened, and I half expected a vampire guard or
Jericho himself coming to execute me.  Instead, Syd came in, still
completely naked, but not showing any embarrassment or shyness at all.
       "So?  What happened?"
       "Wow, good thing ya got Syd the sweet talker on yer team, kiddo, or
else you'd have all your blood in Jericho's stomach `bout now."
       "So, she's not going to say anything?" I asked.
       "Not a peep."
       My eyes narrowed.  "Wait a second," I said.  "You didn't kill her,
did you?"
       "No, Jakey.  Why win a battle with your fangs when you can do it
plenty good with yer charms?"  he asked.
       "How did you get her to agree to that?"
       "She had some terms that we negotiated on, and then she wanted to
make it official."  He walked into the closet and pulled on a pair of
jeans, no underwear.  "She's almost a good with the legal issues as
Cornelius.  She wrote up a fancy contract for the two of us."
       "What are the terms?"
       "She's agreed not to tell anyone anything she knows about the two of
us," he said as he put on his cowboy shirt.
       "I hope you were very careful with the wording of the contract," I
said.  "She could be creating a loophole for herself."
       "I wasn't born yesterday, Jakey.  The contract was solid."
       "So, what does she want in return?"
       "Some hot and steamy sex sessions," he said, as he put on his boots
and hat.
       "No, you misheard me," I said.  "I asked what SHE wanted from you,
not what she will have to give you if she breaks her contract."
       "I didn't mishear you, Jakey.  She asked for two things.  First off,
I had to give her fifteen IOUs for sex, which she is allowed to use
whenever she wants."
       "Are you serious?" I asked.  "She could have anything she wanted,
and she asked for sex?"
       "Not just any sex," he said.  "Sex with Syd is in a whole `nother
class, Jakey.  Any reasonable woman would take that deal."
       I rolled my eyes.  "She's probably just wanting to impregnate
herself or something."
       "Nope, thought of that.  I wrote out that we'd only be having sex
using protection.  And if there's an accident, and she gets pregnant out of
wedlock with my child, she has to get an abortion.  She agreed."
       "And the other payment?" I asked.
       "I've agreed that if I get married for real, it has to be with her."
       "You can't be serious," I said.  "You're really going to marry Rose
Dixon?"
       "No, Jakey, it was a meaningless agreement `cause I ain't never
getting married.  She also wanted me to promise once Governor, I'd go along
with her species segregation policies."
       "Please tell me you disagreed with her."
       "Her policies would mean no physical interactions between vampires
and humans, meaning my pool of fuckable ass would be cut in half.  No way
in hell I'd ever agree to that one."
       "Glad you used your amazing sense of ethics to make that important
decision, Syd.  It's not like you ever make key choices that would affect a
huge number of people based on something so minor as your sex life."
       "Well, wait `til you hear what I had to agree to for her to get on
my side."
       "Uh oh."
       "She made me agree to outlaw all new inter-species marriages."
       "That's atrocious!" I said.  "How could you agree do that?"
       "Well, truth of the matter is, I've been planning to eliminate
marriage altogether, so again, it's an empty promise.  Marriage sucks, it
always has sucked, so why make it continue?"  He looked at his watch.  "I
gotta go."
       "Where are you off to now?" I asked.
       "She's already handed in her first IOU for tonight," he said.
       "You should have just stayed over there, then."
       "I would have, but she wanted me in the boots and hat.  Can't say I
blame her."
       I laughed at him.  "Doesn't feel so good when you're forced to sell
your body, does it, Syd?"
       "Umm, let me see.  I get to go have hot sex with a beautiful woman
tonight.  Feels damn good to me, Jakey.  Yer the only one with the weird
hangup about our little deal."

       *****

       When I went to bed that night, as I was kneeling down to do my
nightly prayers, I added up the days in my head and realized that the next
day would be when Syd was due to feed on me again.  I was already dreading
the necessary act.
       Then I thought about how he hadn't brought it up to me at all.  Had
he forgotten about it?  I hoped so.  I certainly wasn't going to remind
him, and if he missed his day, then he would just have to wait another
week.
       I decided I would try to be around him alone as little as possible
the next day, and certainly wouldn't do anything that might risk reminding
him.  I'd be sure to wake up quietly in the morning on my way out to
Cornelius's meeting so I didn't wake him.