I was a bit disturbed by the whole story. I had never even imagined someone so sweet, so innocent, could have been the victim of such a disgusting act. Even less, I never thought him capable of committing three murders. Not an 11 year old boy. What was going on inside of his head at that moment? What has to give way in order for you to react so violently? That's when it struck me...this kid...could have just as easily have been me. Or anyone for that matter. I thought back to all of the times that my father had mistreated me, all the times my mother was passed out drunk on the kitchen floor on a Sunday afternoon, the shit that I took from people at school. And yet, I had no idea what kind of suffering that boy had to survive through. What if I had reacted the way he did when the boys and girls at school teased me? What if I had the guts to run away from home while my dad was still with us? What if I was on the streets...and the person who found me WASN'T Taryn? What if? I could be in the Kid's position, or someone's slave to use over and over again, or face down in the lake. ANYTHING could have happened, at any time in my life. A wrong turn here, a ten second delay there, maybe a few things to speed me up or slow me down, and that 'exact timing' that I took so much comfort in would have been gone. A left turn instead of a right one down the wrong alley...could have changed my future forever. And it was terrifying to think about. I began retracing my steps in my last days. I remembered attacking that boy in my class, hitting him with all my might, feeling the warmth of his blood on my fists. If he hadn't provoked me, I wouldn't have done it. If I hadn't done it, they wouldn't have a reason to beat me up later. If I hadn't visited Richie in the hospital that night, they wouldn't have found me. If my mother hadn't been drinking, she would have stopped them. If Taryn wasn't out on the Pier that night, I would have jumped. And on and on and on...my head went around in circles, thinking of a billion possibilities for every action I ever made. And a billion possibilities opened up after that. And I was responsible for every last one of them. To think...I was in control of my destiny the whole time. It was a paralyzing fear to think about when I was alive, because I didn'twant to believe that I had that much control. Or that I had so many decisions to make. But now that those options have been taken away from me, I see them clearly, and I now realize how many right and wrong decisions I had to make in order to get me here where I am today. I realized that every single one of them were my own, despite the consequences. I am where I am because I got here of my own free will. And there was a lot that I wish I had done differently.
As I looked down again at the boy, I saw his gaze look right through me for a few more seconds, and then, for the first time, they left me. He gently closed his eyelids, as if ready to go to sleep, and somehow I believe that this was his way of saying that he trusted me...even if only a little bit. So young. And with the face of an angel. I couldn't imagine it covered in blood, not even for a second. But I remembered how good it felt to attack that boy in my classroom that day, and I wondered to myself...when the Kid committed his first murder....did he enjoy it? Was it still the same horrific act of taking a human life? Or was it somehow justified by their actions against him? Was he out of control when he did it, like I was that day? Or is there such a thing? Afterall, it felt incredible to be giving that son of a bitch exactly what he deserved. Maybe I didn't lose control of my anger, maybe I just stopped holding back. What was going through the mind of this 11 year old boy as he was sinking his teeth into the necks of his parents? The people who had hurt him all his life while he was forced to endure it? I wonder.
I wasn't quite sure of what else to say after hearing a story like that, and an uncomfortable silence followed. Dion walked over to break things up a bit. He hadn't heard us talking, but I'm pretty sure that he could tell from the looks on our faces that it wasn't the average 'pleasant' chatter. "Say, come here for a sec. I've got something to show you." He said.
I looked back at Jenna, who was mothering the Kid and she gave me the nod. "I'll be back, ok?" I said, but she didn't answer. I guess the story had been told, and that was that. But I wanted to know so much more. It seemed like everyone had their own strange reasons for being there, some of them quite surprising. And while I knew everything there was to know about Taryn's personality, his sense of humor, his idea of passion, his hopes, his dreams, his longings...he was always uncomfortable talking about his past. And after hearing the Kid's story...I was beyond curious as to why he avoided it so much.
I followed Dion around a few corners into a little private part of the lot. You know, as long as I've lived in this place, I never really took an opportunity to explore it. It was HUGE. It seemed to go on forever, and by the time I was through going around corners and behind stacks of wrecked cars, I expected to see another fence to represent the point of limitation to this junkyard. But I never found one. It was as though the lot went on into eternity without end. I was going to have to make a point out of investigating my surroundings a bit more in the near future. "What's this all about, dude?" I asked.
"You, my friend...got your ass kicked pretty bad the other night. And I don't want to see you hurt." He grinned at me, and pulled me out into the middle of the clearing. I was a bit confused as to what all of this meant.
"Um...what are you talking about?" I asked.
"I'm talking about you learning how to defend yourself a bit. Just in case. Now listen...this is JUST between you and me, got it? If Bryson knew I was teaching you this stuff so early, he'd kill me. He says it makes people dangerous if they learn before settling into their crossover." Dion started taking off his shirt, leaving only his wife-beater T-shirt on.
"Wait...wait a minute. I don't know any martial arts." I said. He looked like he was getting ready to beat the shit out of me, and I must admit it made me nervous. Even though I didn't expect him to really hurt me...too much.
"That's exactly why I'm gonna teach you. Hello? Now, we'll have to make this quick. I can only teach you a little bit at the time. But as time goes on, you'll get better. I guess it'll take a few months, but you should learn some basics pretty quick." Dion walked up to me, and put his hands on both shoulders. I seriously wasn't expecting this at all, and suddenly my body felt so awkward that it felt foreign to even stand up straight. He lightly kicked me in both knees to spread my legs a bit, and pushed down on my shoulders. "One of the most important things you're going to have to develop is balance. Everything else will be useless without it."
"Isn't this going a little bit fast?" I asked, but by the time I got it out of my mouth, he lightly pushed me backwards. My balance was so far off that I immediately went stumbling back, dropping to the ground and having the wind knocked out of me. "Sigh...we've got a lot of work to do."
I looked up at him, raising my hand for him to help me up, but he just stood there with his arms crossed. His smile told me that I was basically going to have to do this whether I liked it or not. Okaaaay...whatever. I stood up and dusted myself off. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his dog Napolean come lounging around the corner to lazily sit down and watch us. Great, now I've got an audience to watch me screw up. Perfect. Dion kicked my legs apart again, and lightly pushed on me the same way. This time I expected it and tried a little harder to stand my ground. "Better." He said. He walked behind me, studying me from all angles, and then pushed me from the side. I swayed a bit, but stayed on my feet. "Good, good." Then all of the sudden, he quickly pulled my shoulders back from behind and sent me to the ground again.
I saw him giggling to himself slightly. "Are you enjoying this?" I asked, a little annoyed.
"Hey, this is how Jun taught me. And he wasn't nearly as nice. Come on, try again. And be ready for anything."
I stood up cautiously this time, and assumed the stance without the help of his playful little kicks. I'll be damned if I let him surprise me again. He circled around me a few times, giving his little pushes and shoves, his smile getting bigger everytime I remained standing. "Quick learner, I see." Then, he stood in front of me and reached out quickly to catch me off guard again. But this time, something happened. I 'felt' it inside of me, almost like the feeling I had when we were all in the subway. I saw it coming, and without knowing what I was doing, my arms reacted. I was able to grab both of his wrists and keep him from pushing me over. It just...happened. His eyes lit up and he smiled at me. "Hehehehe, nice! You surprised me."
"I think I surprised myself." I replied.
"Hey, sometimes you just get lucky. But just work on balance for right now, we'll work on some defensive moves later on, ok?" He said. I had relaxed, and I guess he saw it as an opportunity to take me by surprise. He rushed me from the side, and again, my body reacted all on its own. I grabbed one of his wrists and stepped out of the way. He was grinning at my improvisation, and pulled free. "Ok...if you want to just play it by ear...we can do it that way too. I'll try not to hurt ya...too bad." He reached out and put his hands on my shoulders to push me down, but I twisted around to get away. Then he grabbed me again, and I grabbed his arm, twisting it behind him. I'm not exactly sure how I did it, it just felt....'right'. It was almost as if my body knew what to do all on its own. I knew what he was going to do, and could easily anticipate it. The second our arms touched, I could break down his body into a series of joints and angles. An arm can only bend in certain ways, and if you go against that schematic, it can either lock up...or break. As I was holding his arm behind him, I smiled to myself. It was like learning the moves of a video game for the first time. Trying out a few things here and there, and discovering new techniques.
I let him go, and he gave me an inquisitve look. "Have you had lessons before?"
"No...never. But this is FUN!" I said, unable to hold my smile back anymore. Outside of play wrestling with my cousins and getting the crap kicked out of me by the kids at school, I've never been much of a fighter at all.
"FUN, is it?" He said, and he playfully tried to slug me in the shoulder. But again my body's instincts took over, and it was if my arm had it all under control. I blocked his hand, and he came at me with the other. Blocked. He didn't know whether to laugh or be shocked by the whole thing. He tried again, and the more he tried, the easier it got to counter him. It started out as a game, and as he sped up with different punches and attacks, I started laughing outloud. He never got a single shot in, and I kept up with him no matter how fast he went. I was giggling madly, but all of the sudden the game stopped.
"What's the matter? Had enough? Hehehehe! Dion?.....Dude...what?" I looked into Dion's eyes, and I realized that this was no longer a game. He was giving me a look like I had just walked out of some crashlanded spaceship. "What?" He didn't answer me, he just backed up a few steps and a look of confusion covered his face.
"You've...you've never had a single lesson? No formal training of any kind?" He asked.
"No...I swear." And it was then that I saw that Dion had begun to break a sweat while we were fooling around. And I wasn't even breathing hard. He was actually TRYING to get a shot in! He wasn't kidding around anymore...and somehow...I was able to defend myself against his every attempt. I looked down at my hands in awe. How is this possible? This isn't luck. I was able to effortlessly block and counter the blows of someone who, just a few days ago, was able to take out several older guys all by himself. It hadn't even dawned on me that I was doing it until that very moment.
"How?....Justin...this...this isn't normal."
"I didn't mean to do it. It was just a game. We were just fooling around, right? I mean...I don't know what happened, I just kinda...I just..." But Dion interrupted me.
"Justin, this is seriously spooky, man. I was going to keep this little lesson from Bryson, but I think this is important. We've gotta tell him."
"NO!" I told him, grabbing him by the arm. "Look...there's no NEED for that right now. It's nothing serious." I begged.
"Nothing serious? Do you understand how incredibly ODD this is???"
"If you tell Bryson, he's going to confine me to this damn place for another three weeks! He already treats me like some kind of lab rat! You'll only make it worse! Don't tell him, Dion, please? I'll...I'll figure this out somehow. On my own. Ok?" The last thing I wanted was for Bryson to trap me in the lot while everyone else is out on the town. I was tired of being the new kid. Besides, it's not like I suddenly started bleeding from the ears or anything. It wasn't serious at all. If anything it should be a GOOD thing. Weird...but good.
It took Dion a slight pause and a long sigh, and then he finally said, "You are really beginning to worry me, Justin. Look, I'll keep my mouth shut...on ONE condition!"
"You go see Tim tomorrow night and get ths shit all straightened out."
"Deal! Just...let's just keep this to ourselves for right now. Ok? I'll figure it out. Promise." We shook on it, and suddenly I got that 'feeling' again in the back of my mind. Dion tried to surprise me again with a quick shot to the face with his other hand, but I was too fast and was able to catch his fist in mid air. Our eyes met, and I think it scared us both a bit.
"I MEAN it Justin. Tomorrow night. I've never seen anything like this, and frankly it's freaking me out." And with that, Dion walked away, with Napolean right behind him.
I stood in the clearing, trying to work things out in my head. But I just didn't get it. Whatever was happening to me was beyond my control. It took a hold of me whenever it wanted to, and I couldn't understand why. It was as instinctive and involuntary as my own heartbeat. I didn't know what I was doing half the time, my body just did it for me.
Here we go again. Great. No matter what I did, or where I went, I just didn't fit in. I was an outcast all over again. I couldn't help it. I leaned back against a car and felt a combination of frustration and fear sweep over me. Dion had every right to be freaked out by me. I guess they all did. It's times like this that I wonder if I was meant to fit in ANYWHERE. I spent the next hour just sitting on the car hood in that clearing, eyes to the sky. Feeling that 'absence' in my life again. And soon, I felt the slight trembles of hunger trembling inside of me. I was never overwhelmed with such a feeling of helplessness. Every single day of my life from now until the end of time was guided by a set of laws that I didn't have any control over or even understand. It was then that I really grasped the concept of what I left behind in the 'real world'. My life...was gone. And I missed the choices I had.
I didn't return to talk to the others until it was just a few hours before it was time to turn in. Doc had taken his usual place near the front gate, typing away on his laptop. Rain was in her own pissed off world somewhere in a dark corner. The Kid had evidently broken away from Jenna and was peering out of the front gate, waiting for Max to return like a loyal hound dog. And Dion? Dion had retreated back to his truck, listening to his new cds at full volume. I could tell that he was still thinking about what had happened earlier. It was just in the way that he twiddled his thumbs nervously as he looked up at the sky. I honestly think he was worried about me, and I knew he'd squeal if I didn't keep my promise to see Tim. I guess he just wanted what was best for me. Even if it meant driving me insane by locking me up in this lot for another day.
"Hey there loverboy." Came a voice from behind me. I turned to see Trevor with his arm over Michael's shoulder. As much as I was cautious of him, and everything he touched, I just couldn't help but notice his looks. I don't know if it was an attraction so much, or maybe it was, who knows? He had one of those faces that was just pleasing to the eye, no matter what kind of person he was. The kind of blond, brown eyed, 14 year old angelic face that could fool a priest into letting him run off with the collection plate money five times in a row. And you were forced to stare, even when you didn't want to. "Taryn said he wants to talk to you on the Pier before you go beddy-bye." He was hanging off of Michael a bit, and he seemed to be a little bit drunk. They must have gone out to the club that night.
"Yeah...thanks." I said, and Michael adjusted his grip to better hold up his wobbly boyfriend.
Then Trevor looked at me and smiled, before standing up slightly to kiss Michael lustfully on the lips right in front of me. "Mmmmm...I love you baby." He said, and as lewd as it seemed to me, Michael seemed to just eat it up, overjoyed to have Trevor's love in his life. I could only imagine what that must be like. And I'm not sure if I mean that in a good way or not. With a blush and a smile, Michael continued carrying Trevor over to their private little space across the lot, and the two of them sat down to kiss and pet one another openly. Trevor's hands were all over him, rubbing, kneading, caressing every spot. And then, as I curiously looked up at them kissing...I saw Trevor's eyes wide open, and looking directly at me. It was almost as if he was smiling at the idea of me watching him. Of me even wanting to watch him. It was an emotion I had never experienced before, a nexus between love and disgust, between total apathy and jealousy. It both confused and annoyed me simultaneously, and I just rolled my eyes and walked away. No need for me to watch this anymore. He's got some major issues, that kid.
I took my time getting out to the lake that night. I knew Taryn would be there waiting for me, I knew exactly what he had to tell me, and it was something I was going to have to face eventually. I loved him, with all of my heart and soul, and I was well aware that he felt the same for me. So why was it that every step that I took to go meet him, felt like those last steps I took on the pier that fateful night not long ago. It was as if I was enjoying my last night to consider myself...human.
When I reached the end of the Pier, the place where Taryn and I had first met, he was waiting for me. Still obscured in the anchor's shadow. "Hi..." I said softly.
"Hey...you made it. Good." I could hear the nervousness in his voice. I could see it in the fraudulence of his smile. This wasn't going to be easy for either one of us.
"Still...still hooked on this place, huh?"
His eyes went back down to the ground as he found it hard to keep his mock smile during my attempts to postpone the inevitable talk. "Yeah...I s'pose. Justin?" He took a deep breath. "Justin...sit down a second or two. We...um...we need to talk."
"Taryn, I know what this is about. I know Bryson talked to you. I know what it is you want me to do...and I...I just CAN'T. God, don't you understand that?" I pleaded.
"No matter what happens...the lake always maintains its beauty." Was he even paying attention to me?
"Taryn we don't have time for..."
"If you had jumped, if this lake had swallowed you up and ended your life...it would still be beautiful. No regrets, no guilt, no consequences. It simply exists, and that's all there is to it. It survives despite what ordeals it has to go through."
"DAMMIT!!! I don't want to hear your philosophical bullshit! You're NOT going to get me to make another stupid decision by distracting me with this 'life is beautiful' crap again!" With the hurt look that he flashed me, I realized what I had just said, and it was too late to take it back.
"Is THAT what you think I did? Is it?" He said, somewhat angry, but more hurt than anything else. Tears welling up in his eyes. "You think...you think I just fast talked you and swindled you into this? You think I just made all that stuff up, and turned you against your will? Is that what you're saying?"
"Taryn...I didn't...I didn't mean..."
"You know what? FUCK YOU! Do you honestly believe I WANTED this? I gave you a CHOICE! I wanted life to work for you, even if it meant losing you...but you CHOSE this life, Justin. So don't you DARE sit there and tell me that I practically 'raped' you of your life and your free will, because I didn't!" He was crying, his eyes beginning to glow, and when I put my hand on his shoulder, he pushed it away.
"I didn't know it would be like this..." I said, beginning to breakdown myself. We sat in silence for a few minutes, complete silence. And finally, he couldn't stand to hear me cry anymore.
"I was once just like you Justin. I was where you are now, crying on Bryson's shoulder, because I didn't understand. Because I couldn't understand. I want to help you through this, and I can if you let me. But I can't reverse it."
"I know..." That was it, there were simply no more shortcuts or alleys for me to run through to avoid it. I was either going to feed, or I was going to die.
"Bryson...says you have until the end of the week."
"And after that?" I asked.
His tears started up again, "Uh...then...you'll have to go."
"GO? What do you mean go?"
"It's for our protection as much as it is yours..."
"Are you saying that you guys are going to kick me out on the street???" I hadn't expected this at all.
"Justin...listen to me, ok? Sit down...please?" I did as he asked, and tried to calm down a little. "The hunger that you have inside...it will get worse. MUCH worse. You have no idea. It will continue to get stronger and stronger until you're willing to do anything, ANYTHING, to stop the pain. Some vampires take it upon themselves to lock themselves away where they can't hurt anybody. And they remain locked away until they starve to death. Others commit suicide. But most...they turn to feeding. But not just as a mental decision to accept what they are...this is much worse. It's animalistic, a savage murderous rampage. It's uncontrolled, random, vicious. It usually ends in a bloodbath where the vampire gorges himself on the blood of an innocent, someone close to them, and then ends up regretting it for the rest of his life. I've seen vampires feed on small children, pregnant women, no one is safe. Many even lash out in a public place, so manipulated by the thirst, that all means of caution are reduced to lost whispers in their conscience. I've SEEN it, Justin...and I don't want that for you. I don't want to lose you. Not ever. But if you keep starving yourself like this, your instincts will eventually overpwer your self control and you will strike out at the first source of blood that you see. And that could be anyone...even me. Do you understand why we would have to send you away?"
"I don't want to go..." I said sadly.
"I don't WANT you to go. But time is running out. Justin...please, help me to help you." That's when Taryn extended his hand to me, and silently asked me once again for my trust. I had no choice, but to take it. "We'll go out tomorrow night, and I'll guide you through this, ok?"
"Yeah...WAIT! No, not tomorrow. I can't. I've got something else that I've got to take care of first." I said. I guess there wouldn't have been much of a problem telling Taryn about going to see Tim, but something kept me from telling him anyway. I wasn't evensure Dion was going to be able to keep it quiet. I didn't need to invite any more possible screw ups.
"Justin...you have to STOP putting this off..."
"No, I know. Seriously. But this is important. Really important. I'll go out for a while, and then we'll talk afterwards. Ok?"
Taryn sighed, "Fine. But BE there Justin. I'm not kidding."
"I will. I promise."
Taryn looked into my eyes, and leaned over to hug me tight. "I love you."
"I love you too." I said, and we stayed out for as long as we could before going back to the lot. And that was it, the countdown had begun. I had three days to make a kill, or suffer the alternative. I was going to have to do some major soul searching before then.
As we walked through the front gates, I could feel everyone's eyes on me. They had to have known what our discussion was about. I think it interested them somehow, wondering how I would react to my first time. And as I passed Bryson, I felt something inside of me. A message that appeared in my mind, like experiencing a memory that wasn't my own. I wasn't even trying to do it, but I could 'feel' his thoughts. Not well enough to really decipher them, but they were there, and he was trying hard to hide them from me. I looked over at him and it seemed to make him even more nervous.
"Good night Justin. Sleep well." He said. His voice was normal, his 'poker face' was flawless...but his thoughts betrayed him. And I could tell. But I didn't want him to know that.
"G'night..." I said, and continued forward. It was then, that one of his mental defenses came down, just for a second, and I saw a quick flash of something. So fast, I almost didn't notice it, but it was definitely there. And it was of my mother. THAT worried me. What the hell did Bryson know about my mother? Why was he thinking of her? Why is he hiding it from me? Taryn looked at me as I felt myself slowing down, wanting to stop, wanting to go back and question him about it. More secrets! Damn their secrets! I began to wonder if I could get the information on my own, if I could break down the rest of his defenses and take the information from it whether he wanted to tell me or not! But what if I pushed too hard? What if he felt it and found out what I was doing? What if he declared me one of those awful 'mind thieves' and kicked me out?
"Justin? Justin, what's wrong?" Taryn asked.
But at that moment, the feeling was gone, and it was like it never happened. Bryson gave me an inquisitive look, and I chose to walk away from it before I made them hate me even more than they already do. I'm walking on thin ice as it is these days. "Nothing. I'm...I'm fine."
I took off my shirt and sat down on the edge of the bed as I watched Taryn get undressed. My god he was beautiful. As he lifted his shirt over his head, I watched the silky smooth skin of his chest come into view, his pink nipples so small that they almost looked erect, even when they weren't. He lifted his arms and I saw the slight dusting of teenage fuzz underneath them. As he stretched, his ribs became slightly visible, and his soft tummy sucked inward a bit, forming a gap at the top of his pants. Then, as the shirt came over and off of the top of his head, I watched dreamily as every single strand of his reddish brown locks fell back into place perfectly one at a time. Recreating that vision of pure boyish vibrance. This was hardly the face of a killer.
He laid beside me, pulling the covers over the both of us, and as I looked at him adoringly, I knew that he would never change. Ever. He would always be beautiful, until the end of time itself. It was breathtaking to think that such a wonder would have anything to do with me. He leaned over a bit to turn out the light, and I saw his cloth covered cheeks right next to me. It was as if he was moving in slow motion. An erotic display of pure sensual delight, just for me. The cloth of his boxers fell delicately between both of his ripe melons, and made me shiver inside. Before he could reach the lamp at our bedside, I slowly reached out a hand to softly carress one of his globes. Sigh...it felt so good in my hands. I rubbed it slightly, in small circles, giving it a playful squeeze every now and then. I felt myself growing erect, and Taryn gave me the cutest smile over his shoulder. Apparently he was amused at my friskiness. He rolled onto his side to face me, and I switched hands so that I could continue cupping his spongy bottom, bringing him closer to me. He looked into my eyes, and brought a hand up to my face to trace an invisible line across my cheek. We kept an intense eye contact for a few moments, moving closer and closer, until our noses touched. That's when Taryn reached out with his lips and kissed me. He had such a boyish kiss. Playful and free. Like everytime was his first. The kind of kiss a nervous ten year old would give his first crush. It always brought a smile to my face, and filled me with more love than I could handle.
We kissed again, and it was magic. His fingers ruffled my hair as he held on to the back of my head. My hands were now both firmly gripping his pert cheeks as I pulled him on top of me. Our kissing became more intense, increasing in passion as the seconds ticked away, ignored by the both of us. A soft moan left his lips, and I felt the vibrations travel to my lips as our tongues wrestled and our embrace tightened. His hardness was rubbing against mine frustratingly, both members struggling to be free, to be united in their craving for one another. Then Taryn broke the liplock, and I was left breathless, both of us weak with aching desire. His head fell down to kiss and lick at the side of my neck, kissing further down to my chest. My hands slid elegantly up the frame of his warm body, feeling the contractions of his back muscles beneath the sea of his silken skin, and landed on both sides of his head. I didn't even realize how loud I was breathing until my gasps turned into involuntary moans of pleasure. Taryn's skillful hands glided over my stomach lightly, only to keep traveling south until it reached the front of my boxers. He rubbed me lovingly, arousing me to the point of being in pain. And then he undid the button to finnaly set me free. He held it in his hand, the fingers massaging it at an aggravatingly slow pace, and he began sucking and licking at my right nipple. His tongue ran circles around it, and his legs wrapped around me. God...it felt soooo good. I couldn't even open my eyes, because I knew that seeing the passionate look on his face would certainly bring me over the edge. I reached down to speed up his stroking speed, but he only pushed my hand away, sucking harder at my chest. I was about to explode, but he wouldn't let me. Then he began sliding further and further down, his tongue leaving a cool trail that led down to my stomach and beyond. Then, finally, he reached my leaking erection, and delicately...softly...gently...slid it into the steamy moist confines of his mouth.
"Ahhhhhh.....oh Jesus!" I whispered loudly. He held it in his mouth, allowing his tongue to explore every ridge and subtle texture of my organ, and then he gently spread my thighs as he began to bob tenderly up and down. I felt as though my whole body ceased to exist, except for that one special piece of me, enveloped in the suction of his soft cushioned lips. I felt weightless, and as my moans got loud, his vaccum got more powerful. His hands began to roam over my thighs, and I couldn't take anymore. The energy built up inside of me, and I couldn't hold back anymore. "Mmmm...Taryn...ahh....oh God...mmmm..." I began to babble incoherently as the orgasm traveled up from my toes. I felt myself stiffening up, and the pleasure inside of me increased, and increased, and increased...until I had reached the point of no return. The first shot was like a cannon blast, and it shot to the back of his tonsils. I had to hold my breath to keep from screaming out loud. As more shots poured out of me, the tip of my erection becoming more and more sensitive with every spasm, I could hear Taryn hungrily slurping it all down. Moaning almost as loud as I was. I swore that I saw stars.
Taryn nursed at me gently, and once my mind had come down out of the clouds, my mind switched over, and I was hungry for him. To please him, hold him, make love to him for as long as our bodies would allow. To have such a gorgeous boy here beside me, wanting me as much as I wanted him, was worthy of tears.
I reached as low as I could, trying to pull him up further, and he seemed so pliable in my hands that it was like molding warm putty. He slid his chest up against mine as he slid forward to touch his lips to mine. Then further still until he was straddling my chest. He brushed the hair out of his hypnotic green eyes, the sexiest of gazes on his face, mouth parted slightly, and then he pushed the front of his boxers forward. It was just close enough for me to lick the tip of the cloth covered head. It tented out at a full six inches, extremely hard, and pulsing with his heartbeat. I licked it again and he tossed his head back, a whimper leaving his pink lips. He pushed forward even further, putting his hands on the wall behind my head. I used my hands to knead his cheeks slowly, as I allowed my tongue to snake its way into the hole of his boxers, just beneath the button. I tasted his flesh, and licked along the length of his rod seductively as he gasped and panted above me. He couldn't take anymore torture, and he leaned his head on the wall to balance himself as he used both hands to undo the button and relieve his tension. His beautiful hardon emerged from its prison, and stood stiffly inches from my nose. I licked the undersid of it and felt Taryn shiver, his stomach muscles tightening up involuntarily. Then I licked further down to suck playfully at his tender nuggets. First one, then the other. My hands worked their way up the legs in back of his boxers, and now used his cushioned cheeks to pull him closer. The smell was an intoxicating aroma. Sweet was his scent, and his flavor...like a sun ripened peach coated with a thin layer of honey. I buried my nose in it, letting it take over my senses, and Taryn began to carefully grind into my face. It was then, that I licked back up to the tip of his member and allowed it to pass between my pursed lips. It danced over my tongue, moving in and out slowly, as I massaged his globes and listened to the soft whimpers of my young love as he fought to enjoy the pleasure for as long as possible. And then, he couldn't fight it any longer. His rhythm began to break, and I prepared for his release. He cried out my name as his delicious seed filled my mouth. He pushed out as far as he could, trying not to fall over, not knowing whether to thrash about wildly or stay perfectly still. I heard him trying to catch his breath as the pulses from his member surged past my lips. It was just as orgasmic for me to make him feel this way. And when it was over, he was quick to lay beside me again and lay his head on my chest while we petted and purred our way back to life. The moments I spent with Taryn were more precious than any I've ever known. God how I loved him.
We lay there for a while, speechless, letting our gentle kissing do the talking for us. And as sunrise threatened to knock us both unconscious, Taryn whispered a faint 'I love you' in my ear, kissing me goodnight. I threw an arm across his chest and nuzzled my lips into the side of his neck, feeling the rise and fall of his chest as I ran my fingers across it. I wanted to sleep like this forever.
"Taryn?" I said.
"Do you...ever think about your parents?" I asked. Perhaps it was an odd time, but Bryson's image still confused me, and I needed to know what that was all about. Something about it was slightly unsettling.
"Not for a long time."
"Don't you miss them?"
"It's natural for you to be homesick for a while Justin, I know that. But in time you'll feel more at home here than you will anywhere else. I promise." Again, he avoided the question. And then he rolled over to turn his back on me, giving a few moments of silence, and then pretending to be asleep. But I could tell he wasn't. I KNEW he wasn't. I loved him, all of them to be honest, but I just didn't understand them sometimes. At one time, they all seemed so liberated, so free in their mind, body, and spirit. They weren't. In fact, they now seemed to be even more of a captive than they would have been if they were alive. I didn't persue anything else in the way of conversation, I just sighed and rolled over too. I suppose I could have been upset by Taryn shutting me out the way he did, but as soon as I closed my eyes, I felt him roll over and cuddle up behind me. Then he placed another gentle kiss on the back of my neck and I reached back to grab his hand and pull his arm around me. He felt so incredibly warm, it was great.
"We'll talk more later, ok?" He whispered.
"It's ok. It can wait, really."
"No, I want you to know everything someday. And I want to know everything about you too. You can have me Justin...all of me." I kissed him softly, holding him close to me as his words went straight to my heart. Then, he smiled. "I have a surprise for you."
"A surprise? For me? What?"
"It'll have to wait NOW!" He grinned, and then he shut off the light.
"What? No no no! What is it? Come on!" I said excitedly.
"Hehehehe! I was going to reach over and give it to you tonight, but you decided to be 'naughty' instead."
I playfully gave him a slug, and he laughed. "Come on! What is it! Please?" Then he grinned widly at me, and flicked the light back on.
I saw him open a drawer and pull out a small box. "Well...it's nothing special, really. But I had some cash stashed away...I figured...well...I tried to match them as closely as I could and..." I grabbed the box away from him.
"Oh let me see it already!" I said, and opened it up. Inside, was a small case, and a pair of shiny blue contact lenses for my eyes. "Oh wow...oh Taryn..."
"Well...I couldn't have my boyfriend walking around town at night with sunglasses all the time. Hehehe!" He grinned bashfully. "They're specially made. A guy I know does them specifically for vampire eyes. Cuts back on the glow, without muddying up your vision any." Then Taryn ran his fingers through my hair and whispered, "I love your eyes, Justin. You should showcase them at all times."
I didn't know what to say. "Thank you...thank you so much." I hugged him tightly, and I wanted to try them on right away, but it would have to wait until morning. As the minutes flew past, the sun was on the rise, and all of the sudden it was near impossible to keep my eyes open. I was actually nodding off, and Taryn was in even worse shape then I was. I put the box back on the table, and we said our goodnights before practically fainting in each other's arms. The room went black, and my consciousness left me. He bought me contacts...that's so sweet. It was the last thought to go through my mind before my subconscious took over.
I had only experienced one vampire dream so far since my crossover, and for some strange reason, I expected them to all be as pleasant as the first. But the subconscious does what it wants to. I pictured myself laying on the ground, in the cool crisp grass. It was night time, and everything was so real...even my sense of touch was present. I looked forward and saw my old house just across from where I was laying. My house? What was I doing on the ground in front of my...
Then I saw a pair of feet walk into my view, and I looked up to see a shadowed figure in front of me. "Not so tough NOW, are you punk!" he screamed, and I felt him spit on me. Feeling the saliva crawl over my lips once again, this time with a clarity that made it even more sickening than before. I felt kicks connecting with the small of my back, a foot stomping down on my fingers, an ache in my stomach from the first punch. And I remembered it all...reliving the night that changed me forever. But something wasn't right about this dream. Something was out of place. I looked up into the window of my house, and saw my mother standing there, watching. Watching her son getting kicked and beaten, and she was helpless to stop them. I saw tears on her cheeks, but her face was blank, void of all emotion. She wasn't moving, just staring blankly. The rest of the boys surrounding me suddenly disappeared into thin air, and I found myself walking towards my house to stand under the window that my mother was looking out of. Her eyes were so cold, so empty. And then she opened the window and began mechanically throwing little sheets of paper out of it. Her face never changed, it remained stoic as the papers fluttered down around me. I picked up one of the sheets and saw a picture of my face xeroxed on the front. Underneath the picture were the words 'Missing Child' followed by my name and stats and where I was last seen. She...she had been looking for me? I focused my gaze back up to the window, where the tears on her face had turned into streams of blood. I watched as she slowly backed away from the window, and out of my sight.
"M-m-mom?" I whispered. Then, I heard a deafening scream come from the window! A bloodcurdling cry that pierced through the night sky! And she came running towards the window, crashing through it and falling to the hard cement below! "MOM!!!!!!!" I yelled, but it was too late. Her lifeless body lay bleeding openly on the driveway as I looked on in horror. What have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE??? I ran, seemingly in slow motion, towards her...and suddenly found myself in the halls of the local hospital. I ran down the hall trying to open every door that I came to, and all of them were locked....except one.
I opened and saw Richie laying in a hospital bed, barely breathing, wasting away to nothing. "Why?" He whispered. "Why did you let me die alone? You were my only friend." I couldn't even speak, he looked so frail, almost transparent.
"Richie...I'm sorry. You don't understand." I cried.
"It HURTS Justin! Make it stop! Pleeeeeaaase....make it stop! Ahhhhh...."
And then, he cried out as his skin melted away slowly in front of me. It burned and bubbled, falling to the bedsheets in large chunks. His face became distorted and horrific, and the dissolving continued until it left nothing but a skeleton laying in the bed. The bones then began to wither and crack before my very eyes, and I screamed as they turned to dust. I ran out of the room as fast as I could, only to see Taryn standing at the other end of a long corridor.
I tried to run towards him, but the faster I ran, the longer the hallway got. Every step I took towards him, seemed like a step backwards. And Then I heard him say, "I love you Justin. Always." The lights went out instantaneously, and I heard a bubbling sound coming from behind me. I turned around, and saw a huge wave of dark liquid come crashing around the corner! It was blood, oh GOD it was blood! It filled the corridor from wall to wall, waist deep, and began coming right for me! I couldn't run, I was stuck. I turned to see Taryn's shadow in the distance...smiling at me. Pearly white fangs defying the darkness. And that's when he said, "Kill for me, Justin. KILL FOR ME!!!" They were the last words that I heard as I was enveloped in the wave of blood and covered in its sickening gore. It flooded the hall and I was quickly up to my neck in it. It was splashing up into my eyes, into my mouth, the salty taste making me gag. It was too late to scream...I was drowning in it! "KILL FOR ME!!!!"
"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" I shouted as I sprung up out of my sleep! Taryn was startled and immediately went to turn on the light. He asked me what was wrong, but I couldn't breathe. I was almost hyperventilating. My head was aching with stress and my heart was beating so hard that it hurt with every pulse. My face was drenched in sweat, and no matter how badly I wanted to tell myself it was just a dream, I couldn't come back to reality. My adrenaline continued to pump pure nitroglycerine into my veins, and I couldn't calm down. I was literally shaking, and even Taryn's loving embrace wasn't enough to calm me down. He held me there for a few minutes, rocking me back and forth, and then...without warning, my tears poured out of me. I couldn't stop them, and I began bawling my eyes out uncontrollably. I was almost screaming into his shoulder as he tried to chase the demons away with his love, but nothing worked. I cried for what must have been an hour that night before either one of us dared to leave the trailor. My will was strong, but my dreams, my body, my instincts...they betrayed me.
Taryn attempted to stay near me that night, but I pushed him away. Not physically so much, just emotionally. I hadn't really thought about the wake I may leave behind by abandoning the life that I once knew. I never once thought that I made a difference to much of anybody. I hated my life...HATED it. Who would have thought anyone would miss me if I were gone. I kept to myself in a few of the dark corners of the lot that night, still trying to avoid the inevitable push that my new existence was bound to give me, the push that my old life was bound to haunt me with. And after being awake for only a few hours, those pushes came in the form of an insistant look from Dion. Silently reminding me that I had a promise to keep...or else. So, without a word, I crept off on my own to venture up north. I could only hope and pray that Tim had good news for me for a change.
I could have taken the train, but the long walk helped to clear my mind. It was strange, but before I used to take comfort in walking along the busy streets at night. It was almost like being a part of society again, feeling the 'life' of the city as people walked and talked and laughed around me. Never knowing how precious their gift of life was. Never being aware of how much they take for granted. And at one time, I longed to be that carefree again. To feel that invinceable. But now? Now things seemed different. Now that I actually WAS invinceable, I felt more vulnerable then ever. Now I began to subconsciously AVOID the busy streets, preferring to walk down the barren alleys of Chicago. Or through the desolate parks. Or the dead silent residential areas. I was beginning to not only notice the difference between myself and the living, I was beginning to hate it. Maybe even envy it. And although I never actually admitted it to myself, I was depressed by it. I didn't...'belong' in their world anymore. The one I left behind.
I made it to Tim's place and he answered on the second knock, giving me a very business-like smile. "Well, well...if it isn't one of the newborns. Come in, come in. I thought for sure you would have stopped in long before now." I walked passed him and stood in the middle of the room. Not knowing what to say, what to ask, what to tell, what to keep secret. I just stood there. As though he didn't already know.
"Tea?" He offered. Remembering the sheep's blood from last time, I declined. "So, you're just in for a check up then?" I nodded, and sat back in a chair against the wall. He wasn't saying anything, but I KNEW that he knew something was wrong. "On your feet then." He said, his English accent, a pleasing melody to the ears.
I stood up and he looked at my eyes. "Ahhhh....contacts. So you've got your glow then?"
"Um...yeah. Just a few days ago, actually." I stuttered. "The contacts were a gift from..."
"Hmmm...yes. And your fangs?" He stopped me and opened my lips with his fingers. He rubbed them lightly over the top of my gums. "Still no real sign of them, eh?" He looked concerned. "And that means...you have yet to hunt."
I was getting ready to collapse back into the chair, but he held me upright. "On your feet, boy. Now...what exactly is the problem? I'm certain you would have gotten your thirst by now." He said.
"First time jitters?"
"Yeah...I guess so."
"Sigh....Justin...listen to me very carefully. I can't tell you what choices to make in order to live your life, or clear your conscience. But...as far as your survival is concerned...I'm afraid the choices have already been made."
"I don't know what to DO, Tim! I'm so confused." I said. I was weak in the legs at this point, but he didn't let me sit down. He wanted me to stand, to gather the strength to endure my emotions on my feet, and not sobbing on the floor like a helpless child.
"I know you are Justin. I know. And it is a decision that we all must make at one point or another. Making it 'routine', does NOT make it easier. But you will make your choice when the time comes. Don't force it...but don't delay it either. It won't be denied for much longer." He said.
"But Tim, what if..." But he interrupted me.
"Stand up straight." I did as he said, and watched as he walked a complete circle around me. "Have you been experiencing any more strange occurrences since you saw me last? Anything odd or any involuntary reactions to a situation?"
"Yeah...a few." I whispered. He looked at me, waiting for an answer, so I continued. "Yesterday...um...a friend of mine was trying to teach me some moves. You know? Martial arts stuff...um...and somehow, I just...just...well, he said to come see you and..." Tim suddenly stood up and put his fingertips over my eyes.
"Sorry son, but at this rate, I'll NEVER know what's bugging you and I've got patients waiting." I felt something strange inside my head. A slight 'tug' of some sort, and he was reading my mind. I can't really describe how it felt, sort of like having a huge magnet on either side of you, pulling on each other with you in the middle. A whirlpool of knowledge and memories being brought together all at once, and filed through. It wasn't at all painful, but it felt uneasy knowing that even my darkest secrets were open to him at that moment. He could take anything that he wanted from me. I only had blind faith to say that he wouldn't. After a few seconds, he let go. "Fan-tastic!" He whispered with a smile.
Tim walked hastily over to one of his bookshelves and started rummaging through them. Pulling them off one at a time and flipping excitedly through the pages. "Let me see...mumble mumble...mind reading capabilities...mumble mumble...early resurrection...mumble mumble..." He grunted to himself while searching through the books, paying me absolutely no attention at all. And it was then that I saw his boyfriend John pass by an open doorway...NAKED! I only saw a flash of his lithe teen body before it was gone. I gulped and looked back over at Tim who was still energetically scouring through books that seemed to get older and older from the looks of them. That's when I heard bare footsteps getting closer and looked to see if I could get a better look at John. He passed the doorway again, and I took a quick second to admire his beautifully nude form. But on his way back, he slowed down a bit to smile warmly at me before going back into the bedroom. He knew I was looking, and I blushed at the embarassment of getting caught. Wow he was cute! "AHEM!" I looked up to see Tim standing right over me. "Can we stay focused here?"
"Eyes up." He lifted my head and stared into them, even through the contacts. His eyes widened a bit, and then he let go. He pulled up a chair and sat in front of me. "Ok, Justin, here's the deal...you are definitely going to be a 'reader', one of a very select breed."
"Sigh....great. Another reason for me to be a freak."
"That's not the half of it. If I'm not mistaken...you may turn out to be a 'mimic' as well. And that, my friend, is a surprise indeed. Even to me."
"Is this going to be as bad as it sounds?" I asked, wondering what ELSE I've gotten myself into.
"Good...bad...it all depends on your perspective of the situation."
"Should my 'perspective' be worried?"
"Well, Justin...let me put it this way...there hasn't been a mimic vampire to be born into darkness in over 600 YEARS. Which means that your crossover into our world, to most, is practically a divine experience."
"Yes." Was he kidding? "As I said before, I could very well have this wrong, and I'll need some more information. But...if I'm not...and you are what I think you are...then you're practically a modern day prophet. A herald for a sacred scripture that hasn't even been written yet."
Finally, he allowed me to sit down, and I think I was too shocked to really react to what he had just told me. He put a hand on my shoulder and my eyes lifted to meet his gaze. "Justin, the gift that you possess...it predates me and all that I know. But it is not a curse. I will find someone to help you, and then we will take the next vital step."
"And what is that?" I asked.
"Getting you some protection. And LOTS of it."