"Like what you see, Justin? I told you you'd be surprised." Trevor grinned. "I've been tracking this little delinquent for quite some time now. I was going to make a meal of him myself, but when I saw what little secrets he was hiding in that pea sized brain of his, I thought it would only be right to let you do the honors. It appears you two have a bit of a history together?"
"He always takes this shortcut late at night, especially on the weekends. I know his routine, it's like clockwork." I couldn't believe it. He was here, right in front of my fucking face, and Trevor had led me right to him! He saw me staring, a visible rage on my face, and whispered in my ear, "Looks tastey...doesn't he?" I didn't answer, but he knew he had me. I was on the edge of the cliff when we got here, and this was MORE than enough to push me over. Trevor kept talking, "To think, here you are away from your friends, from your family...'dead' as far as they're all concerned...and this asshole is still breathing. Still being a jerk. Still out partying and drinking with his jock buddies. Funny how that worked out, isn't it?" It was the first time that I knew I had no reason to look for any good in this kid. This wasn't some guy supporting his family or doing what he had to do. He picked on me simply because he COULD! Because it was FUN! And he mercilessly continued to break me down until he practically drove me into depression....and then to suicide. And now he has the fucking nerve to cross my path without showing an OUNCE of regret??? No remorse??? No SHAME??? I felt the anger rising up inside of me faster than I could supress it. In my mind, I could hear his taunting laughter, clear as day, and all I could think about was how the tables had turned, and how unbelievably sweet my vengence would be. Now I'M the strong one! I'M the merciless son of a bitch with the ability to snuff this little cockroach and put him in a bodybag where he belongs! His life...his death....it was MY decision now! And the way I felt at that moment, death was winning by a landslide.
"This is quite a gift, Trevor." I said, and I felt my eyes turn red, the fury in my heart manifesting itself in the form of a huge, delicious grin. I felt the change inside of me begin to take shape. But this time...it wasn't trying to 'take over' like it did before. It wasn't attempting to block my sanity or prevent me from being aware of what was going on. No...this time it was working it's way into my conscious mind. Weaving it's murderous thoughts into my reality...simply waiting for me to make the decision to strike. And I was ready. Ohhh...I was so ready!
"Anything for you, Justin. Bon Appetite."
I tried to reason, but my hunger was already placing me into a striking position. He was almost close enough to smell the alcahol in his bloodstream. I could almost taste him. But...as I prepared myself for the attack...I felt a pinch of humanity creep back into my soul, and I fought it back.
"DON'T fight it, Justin. He deserves exactly what you give him. You won't feel guilty about this at all. Look at him. LOOK! Can you feel it? That hatred? That anger? Burning deep inside you...constantly forcing you to give in. Constantly keeping you on your knees in front of the very people you hate. It EATS away at your strength, at your happiness, at your very soul...until there's nothing left...but more hate. But you can get rid of it Justin. You can let it all go...and be 'whole' again. Free. Free to love Taryn unconditionally. Free to hold your head up with pride in public. Free to live without fear, or ridicule, or judgement. You're stronger than they are...prove it to yourself, and everything else will fall into place. Remember how good it felt to laugh a few minutes ago..." He then moved closer, and whispered seductively, "Sometimes...it feels even better to let go of the rage. Release it. Feel it coursing through your veins...and give it purpose. USE it, and stop letting IT use you."
"I...I...I don't think..."
"You get fed, the pain stops, this kid ends up on the side of a milk carton. What's the problem?" I was struggling...but it was sooo hard to resist. "This boy tormented you for no reason whatsoever! He spit on you, and made you feel less than human. He and his friends made a fucking pinata out of you, and he doesn't even feel the slightest bit of guilt!"
"He's...I...his life..." I stuttered, unable to even form words at this point. My emotions swirled together and went to war with one another. I prayed my sanity wouldn't get lost in the end.
"Don't put yourself in HIS shoes, Justin! Put him in YOURS! Ask yourself...if the positions were reversed...would he let you live?" Trevors whispers were getting to me, they became a steady chant that drove me wild with a lustful need to take out my every frustration on the target walking in front of me. He had no idea. "Go ahead...do it. Vengence is yours."
That was it! It was as though Trevor's words had erased all doubt in my mind, all my restrictions, all my fear. The anger inside me answered my every question, and it justified the horror that was about to take place. My eyes turned a deep shade of crimson red, my legs positioned themselves to savagely pounce down on him, and my fangs shot out from my gums, itching to sink deeply into the throat of my first victim. My emotions stopped fighting amongst one another, finally all shouting out to me in unison..."Do it!" Then, in a flash, they disappeared completely, and only the 'thirst' remained.
My mind shut off momentarily, and it was like watching myself in a dream. Unable to really steer or guide my actions. I was acting entirely on a deep animal instict that I had never known before. Something void of guilt, void of sympathy, even void of anger. It came as easily and normally as breathing. My thirst didn't need my help...'it' was in control now. It was the same loss of control that I felt in the classroom that day. Where my adrenaline was pumping throughout my entire body, and I felt invinceable. More powerful than God himself. I remembered the 'release' that Trevor was talking about. The sadistic joy of feeling my hatred express itself to the fullest with every harsh blow that I delivered to this kid's face. The utter burst of happiness that came from finally feeling a sense of 'justice' in my life. It was as though his own karma was working to make my punches even stronger...and he got exactly what he deserved...just like what he was going to get now.
I felt my body jump from the top of the fort, and take three or four giant steps, quickly covering the distance between my prey and I. He didn't even have an opportunity to turn around. And if he could, he wouldn't have had time to even assess the situation, much less prepare for it. I attacked him! Jumping him from behind and sending him face first down to the ground. I stood up, watching him attempt to shake off his surprise. It wasn't even ME, it was like I was channeling some spirit from another world. Controlling my hands, my feet, my mind. He tried to stand, but I easily pushed the kid down onto his back. There he was...my self proclaimed 'judge' from my old life, laying at my feet without his little posse of hoodlums to help him. My fists were clenched tight enough to draw blood from my own palms. But then, as I looked down on him, the rage mellowed itself out somehow, turning instead into a dark feeling of liberation. My grimace was replaced with a smile that I'm sure would have put Trevor's evil grin to shame. I had never felt so powerful, so limitless, so unexplainably free. I was going to enjoy this.
The boy got up onto one knee, dazed, but not really hurt. "What the fuck are you doing you freak...."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" I screamed! And I backhanded him so hard that it sent him spiraling back down to the ground like a ragdoll! I could easily rip his limbs off, one by one, I could FEEL it! My muscles tensed, tightened, excited to be full of such energy. Killing him would be easy, but I decided to 'play' with my food first.
I saw him get up, rubbing his face, and he attempted to rush me. I could see him coming. It was as if he were moving in slow motion compared to the speed at which I could move. So predictable. It might as well have been deja vu. He punched me in the face, I 'assume' as hard as he could, and I felt absolutely nothing. I smiled as he hit me again, and again, and again. As he wailed continuously on me, my smile turned into a giggle, and then into an insane laugh that almost made my sides ache. I was downright delerious at this point. "Hahahaha!!! All that time I spent being scared of you...and THIS is the best you've GOT? You're a goddamn JOKE!" I laughed. Then, while he was in mid swing, I effortlessly caught his fist in my hand, and crushed it until he got down on both knees and begged me for mercy. And once he did...I squeezed even harder until I felt his bones crack under my fingertips like an egg shell. The smile on my face was outrageously wide, and I finally let go of his hand, only to smack him face down into the dirt. He crawled to get away, snivelling, crying...calling out for help. But there was no help for him now. Not here. I walked slowly, right behind him, still grinning madly at his helplessness. At the pitiful display of self defense that he had taken so much pride in when he was fighting someone who couldn't fight back.
"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME! PLEASE!" He screamed.
"SHUT UP!!!" I kicked him in the ribs, and it sent him sliding half way across the park! The strength in my arms and legs was so incredibly potent that it made me wonder just how hard I could kick him without breaking him in two. How painful could I possibly make this without killing him too fast to enjoy it? The strength bursted from within me, burning with a passionate need for full release!
"What do you want from me? What are going to do to me???" He whined.
I began lightly kicking him all over as he tried to crawl further away. Not to hurt him so much, just to annoy him, to keep kicking him over on his side and keep him off balance. "Well, first...I thought I might use the next couple of minutes to finish beating the living SHIT out of you..." I kicked him again. "...THEN...I figured I'd step down on your chest, and apply pressure until I felt your ribs crack under my foot like glass!" I kicked him again. "Then...as the bone shards puncture your lungs, and you're left gasping for air...I thought about climbing on top of you, sinking my sharp teeth into your jugular...and drinking until I've replenished the life that people like YOU once stole from me!" That said, I picked the kid up by his collar, and tossed him all the way to the fence, almost 20 feet away! He curled himself up in pain, and there wasn't a single part of my being that cared. Not a one. He had abused me all through school...and now....it's time this little bitch learned what it was like to be at the mercy of someone 'better' than him. What it was like, being helpless, and having to TAKE it! The pain, the abuse, the horror of knowing that whether it's right or wrong, there's NOTHING you can do about it! EVER!
I walked over and turned him onto his back. He was bleeding, his hand broken, probably a few of his ribs too, and his fear...it was delicious. Mmmm...I could taste it in the air around him. It was time, time to feed. It was HIS turn to fall so that I could be on top, instead of the other way around as it was in school. But not before letting him know exactly who it was that had done this to him. So he'll be able to take the image of MY face to Hell with him, and know the penalty of his actions! That's when I looked him dead in the eyes, and said...
"Not so tough NOW...are ya punk?!?!" And I spit a hard loogie in his face! How does it feel asshole!
I kicked him over onto his back, and looked at his face. Awwww...poor baby! He seems to have lost a tooth or two somewhere during our struggle! Tsk tsk...too bad. I wanted to tease him even more, and extend this out for as long as possible, but I was hungry. My sadistic urges were settled, and I salivated at the thought of biting into the nape of his neck like I would a ripe summer plum. The juices spilling down over my chin. I used my foot to push his shoulders down to the ground, and I sat on him, straddling his chest with a demonic grin. "Sigh...such a waste. You could almost pass for cute, you know that? Well...without all the blood, and bruises, and missing teeth, that is." I was ready, he was well 'tenderized' from the fight, and my fangs were tingling with a bloodlust that could never be put into words. It was time. I sharply turned his neck to the side, and he screamed as I lowered my head to my goal. My achievement. My REWARD for enduring his unprovoked attacks for so long. He was crying, screaming, begging me to stop...and just as I got close enough to feel the warmth of his skin on my lips...I stopped.
My mind began to suddenly activate something deep within me, and my head was suddenly flooded with images of this boy's life. The thoughts were swirling so violently that I almost lost balance. I tried to ignore them, and gently scraped my fangs across the soft skin of his neck. Searching for the faint pulse that would guide me to the appropiate main artery. But the images got stronger, more intense. And suddenly, I saw it all. I saw him growing up with two older brothers, being beaten up, being teased at his own school before moving here. I saw him making fun of some lonely kid in one of his new classes, using an insult that the kids at his old school use to use on him. And the other kids...they laughed. They actually laughed. Instant acceptance. Instant recognition. Instant fame in a school system that thrived on popularity and appearances. I saw him use that talent to rise higher and higher on the social scale, to get better, to feel better, to become more confident. Even at the expense of others. His friends encouraged it, laughing, cheering him on all the way. WHY the hell should I care why he did it??? BITE the son of a bitch! BITE HIM!!!
My body began to shake, my instincts struggling to be free, but my mind reading ability held me steady, and I saw even deeper into his mind. I saw an abusive father...one even worse than my own. Hitting him, kicking him out of the house in the rain, pushing his face down into his dinner plate and making him eat under the table like a dog. I...felt his pain. I felt a lifetime of humiliation, of horrific abuse, and then...something else came into view. Something he surpressed deep down inside...he was...he was...GAY!!! The realization caused a sudden shock to overtake me, and I sat straight up. He looked at me, horror in his eyes, and I couldn't move. I couldn't believe...I never would have thought...this can't be happening. It's a trick! It's a fucking trick! He's making it up! He must be doing this to save his pathetic life! It's not true, it's not real! And even if it was, I don't care! He doesn't deserve to be alive. What am I gonna do? Let him live? Let him go back to school tomorrow, and torture some other poor kid until he's at the top of the social ladder and the other kid is ready to slit his own wrists? FUCK no!!! Let's bag this brain dead faggot and call it a night!
But my heart was causing interference now. My soul, gaining the strength it needed to be at a standstill with my hunger. I looked at where he was tonight, some party, drinking heavily, hating himself. Wishing that he could stop looking at the boy across the room. His blond hair, his sweet smile, his hazy teenage voice, the tightened muscles of a well form buttocks. He wanted to look away, but he couldn't. He hated himself. Hating the fact that something so 'wrong' could be so exciting. Having that unbelievable desire, that wonderful feeling inside, and being too damn scared to enjoy it because somebody else says so. I saw him wishing that he could run away from home. Just leave his parents behind and go to some place where he could be loved, and complimented, and accepted. A place where he didn't have to ever look at the world through teary eyes again. I saw it all...this boy, this handsome, popular, boy...one who laughed at me and looked so superior...hoping and praying that the high fives and the approval of the other kids at school could somehow silence the screams inside of his head. That being popular could somehow make him...human. And not the worthless homosexual 'deviot' that he believed himself to be. Come on...I know the alternative to not killing him...he's not worth it. He's not worth losing Taryn over, or being cast out of the lot, and he's certainly not worth dying for. And if he's not worth it...then why am I hesitating? Why?
"Please...please...don't...don't kill me. I've got money! Just don't kill me...ok?...Please..." He whispered. My eyes felt as though they had suddenly become clear again, and I took a good look at the boy in front of me. He was bleeding, hurt, sobbing uncontrollably. Did *I* do this? He didn't even recognize me. My whole appearance, my attitudes, everything...it was so savage that I had taken on a completely different form in his eyes. What was I doing? Who had I become? He was never any better than me, he was never on some higher plane that I couldn't reach. He was just as much of a misfit as I was, his so-called friends just didn't know it. To THEM, he was 'normal'. And at that moment, it was as though I could hear Dion's words echo in the back of my mind, saying, 'we're all hurting in our own way, Justin.' And I backed off. I guess some of my humanity had returned, because that's when this battered kid looked up at me and, with a look combining fear, confusion, and disbelief, whispered, "......J-J-Justin?"
I immediately stood up on my feet, and he stumbled to his as well. He recognized me. I wanted to bite him, sooo bad that it ached inside of my very being. I had to fight to keep from pushing him down and finishing the job, but I didn't. And the thirst began to go back into hiding deep in my subconscious. Waiting to be born again later. "Justin...is that you? They told us you were missing?" His voice was trembling, his body sore and bruised from the beating I had given him. "Justin?"
I quickly lunged forward and grabbed him by the face, my anger and frustration causing my fingers to squeeze until he yelped in pain! "SILENCE!!! Consider this little encounter a FUCKING warning! You got it?" He nodded his head eagerly. "I MEAN it! If you make fun of ONE more kid at that school...I'll know! If you even THINK of picking a fight with somebody...I'll know! Change...or the next time we meet, I won't be so merciful. Do you UNDERSTAND me???"
"Mmph...mmm-hmm" He nodded, and I grabbed him by the throat, lifting him off of his feet.
"Then SAY it!!!"
"No more fights! No more teasing! I swear! I swear!!!!"
"Good boy!" I said, and tossed him back down to the ground, his body falling with a thud. I turned to leave, but before I got more than a few steps away, I turned back to him and left him with one final message. "By the way...if you tell ANYONE about me or what happened here tonight...if you do so much as whisper it in your sleep...I'll find you, and I'll use my bare hands to snatch out your tongue. Do we have an understanding?" He covered his mouth, and nodded eagerly in agreement. "Cool. Then I suppose we are finished here. Nice to see old friends. We'll have to do this again sometime." I said as I walked away, vanishing back into the mist. I heard him fall to his knees in the middle of that darkened park, and cry like a baby. Because of the pain? Because of the helplessness? Or maybe because he was now aware of what it feels like to be granted a second chance at life. Maybe now he was aware of what he was doing with his first chance. Either way...he was going to be a very different person when he woke up the next morning.
I walked back to the edge of the park, only to see Trevor waiting with an annoying smirk on his face. He clapped his hands tauntingly and said, "Bravo, little vampire, bravo. Excellent build up, nice improvisation, but the way it ended....hmmmm...it kinda left me limp."
"You didn't look into his eyes. You didn't see what I saw." I said.
"What? The abuse? The teasing? Or was it the homosexual aspect that got to you?" He grinned. Then, he switched to a serious tone almost instantly. "All that effort and you still don't get it, do you? You pity the wrong people Justin."
"He deserved it...is that what I'm supposed to believe?"
"You're supposed to EAT! THAT'S what you're supposed to do! You think he gives a shit about you? Do you honestly think your little showdown tonight is going to teach him ANYTHING? NO! Let me tell you something rookie...the human race doesn't believe in love and kindness anymore. There IS no 'patience', there IS no 'faith', there IS no 'destiny', there IS no 'karma', there's NOTHING! None of it even exists anymore! Not in their minds. Do you want to know what they believe in, Justin? They believe in what feels good, and what they can get right now. Screw consequences, screw other people, and screw the promise of paradise at a set of pearly gates. People want money NOW, people want fame NOW, people want sex NOW! And they'll do anything to get it. They're willing to murder each other over a bunch of materialistic garbage that they're going to die and leave behind anyway! And you think that by beating up some drunken teenage brat and letting him live is going to change the world??? You're lucky we're not dodging police cars right now!"
"HE HAS A LIFE, TREVOR!!! That's NOT mine to take away from him!" I yelled back. And that's when I saw Trevor's face go back to its calm, yet sinister, position. And he stepped closer, saying in a voice that chilled me...
"And what makes you think that I'll let him live past tomorrow?" He stared me down, so intensely that even angry, I had to turn away. "You didn't save anybody. All you did was buy him enough time to live a single day without being an asshole. I hope he enjoys it."
"You son of a bitch!" I grabbed Trevor by the collar, but he just smiled back at me.
"Temper, temper. You really are going to have to learn to control that."
"I swear, if you hurt him..."
"What? Huh? WHAT? Are you going to be able to watch him every night, become his personal bodyguard? Don't think so. He's seen your face, Justin. That's a no no. When he gets home, and his folks see him with a broken hand, cracked ribs, and some bruises that THEY didn't put on him...they'll be looking for answers. How long do you think it'll be before he tells them the story of a lost little boy who vanished from school...and came back to kick his ass in the middle of night?"
"I'm only going to say this once...leave...him...alone." I said, tightening my grip on his collar.
"You can't even be strong enough to take HIM out. What makes you think you have what it takes to threaten me?" Trevor then pushed me off of him, and smoothed out the wrinkles I put in his shirt. "Stick to being a goodie two shoes, kid. It suits you. And besides...you don't have the balls to be anything else." And with that, he started to walk away.
The anger inside was reaching a boiling point fast. Even faster than normal because I was attempting to hold it in. Was he 'hazing' me? Is this his personal method of teaching me something? Or did he WANT me to fail? Maybe this whole thing was a set up. As he walked further into the distance, I found myself once again hurrying to catch up. As I walked about five to ten paces behind him, I started to taunt him in the same fashion. Hopefully getting to him the way he was getting to me. "I know why you're doing this. Do you think I'm stupid? I know you don't want me to pass the test. That's why you talked Bryson into letting you come out here with me. Isn't it?" He didn't say anything. He just kept walking without looking back. "What's the matter, huh? Upset because I happen to have a heart? Or because I care about people? Maybe you're just mad because I've become everybody's little golden boy and you're fading into the background these days." I said whatever I could to get on his nerves, but he just didn't answer me. He kept walking, and I kept talking. "Ahhhh...I get it. It's Taryn, isn't it? Poor Trevor, none of his little pretty boy advances will ever work on me because I happen to be in love with the one boy YOU can't have! Or should I say TWO that you can't have?"
Then, without turning around, I heard Trevor snicker, and he said..."What makes you think I haven't had him already?" And he kept walking.
"WHAT? What did you just say to me? Stop! Stop walking dammit!" He finally stopped and turned around smiling at me. "What are you talking about?"
"Ooooh...looks like the 'pretty boy' touched a nerve."
"You're lying. I'm not buying it."
"Oh? What, did you think Taryn just magically appeared at our little sanctuary one day out of the clear blue sky? No no no, my friend. Taryn was 'recruited'. Just like you." Trevor's smile had a way of making you both furious and nervous at the same time. And in this case, ESPECIALLY in this case, I never wanted to hurt him more. "Have you ever noticed how Taryn's bottom lip slightly quivers when you press yourself against him? How his soft whimpers seem so desperate when he's really turned on...lusting for the taste of your kiss? I noticed. I noticed everytime." And he licked his teeth lewdly in my direction.
"You think that band on your arm makes you special? It doesn't. Taryn told you exactly what you wanted to hear, and he 'collected' you from the Pier, just as he was instructed to do. And before you came along...it was ME waking up by his side."
"I said SHUT UP!!!"
"Oh I see! You refuse to listen, so it must not be true. Well let me tell you something, 'golden boy'...it was MY bite that turned your little bitch boyfriend into who he is! Who do you think taught HIM how to hunt, huh? Who do you think taught HIM how to mind read? I know him better than you EVER will kid, and do you want to know why? Because it was ME that gave him his first taste of love, his first taste of freedom. Before me, he didn't know what life WAS! He was a lost little boy, a runaway on the streets of Chicago, begging for change so he could eat that night. Broke, cold, hungry, weak, gay, and full of self pity and self hate. JUST like you. And I came swooping down like a big blond angel to take him away from it all. He saved you...I saved him. And don't think for a single second...that your boyfriend wasn't extremely 'grateful'. When he's screwing you, it's still my body he's longing to touch. And whether you like it or not...you feel the same way. I can feel it when you watch me. I can taste it when I stand close to you. You can't hide your feelings from me anymore than Taryn can. And the more you pretend to hate me, the more your hidden attractions make me laugh." He moved closer and whispered in my ear, "The very SECOND, that I decide that I want to have either one of you...I will. You won't be able to resist me, and you know it. But don't worry, Justin...our love making will be soooo delicious, so exciting. You'll spend all eternity searching for another who can give you half the pleasure that I can provide." And with that, he kissed me lightly on the cheek, and began to walk again.
It wasn't true. It can't be true. It's some kind of sick deception that he cooked up to get a response out of me. I was Taryn's first! He....he told me so. He doesn't even like Trevor. It's not true. It's not. And if it isn't...why did I suddenly feel a nagging pain in my soul. Not hunger, this wasn't a physical pain. No...this was much worse. This made my very spirit burn and twist up into a hundred knots, squeezing the very essence of love out of me, replacing it with the urge to cry out loud. It crept up on me gradually, but once it had its claws in me, it refused to let go. Doubt, fear, and uncertainty. I slowly found myself following Trevor, not saying another word, unable to fight the awful sensation that ran through my body like a poison. I kept my eyes down to the ground, and I suddenly got an image in my mind. One that I couldn't let go of. Of Trevor luring Taryn into this world with the same words that Taryn used on me. Using his kiss to touch Taryn's soft red lips. Allowing his hands to roam all over his smooth body, a temple that I was foolish to think was built just for me. I saw Taryn's warm and loving embrace...wrapped around the slim waist of this blond demon, the two of them undressing one another as their passions took control of their young bodies. They had been together for years before Taryn even knew me. How could a gay teen not want Trevor? How long could he have possibly turned down Trevor's advances? Would he even try? My senses seemed to become flooded with the sounds and scents of sex, and I could hear Taryn's soft whimpers as Trevor tasted his sweet flesh. As they rolled over one another. As Taryn's hardness entered his warm sucking mouth. As the two of them pleasured each other in ways that I couldn't ever duplicate or even come close to. Their sex being a thousand times better than what was considered humanly possible for me. It hurt me to the core, picturing Taryn's whispered words of love being uttered to someone else. It tore a hole in my very being to think that he could wrap his smooth seductive limbs around Trevor's sleek frame, in a time where his love for me didn't exist yet. And I began to wonder...could it be true? Even worse...did Taryn think about Trevor...as I sometimes did?
"So quiet? I thought for sure you had more to talk about." Trevor said with a smile over his shoulder.
I had tears in my eyes, my spirit had been shredded, and I suddenly felt so cold...so alone. I felt as though my life had been a lie, that every smile I shared was simply a temporary escape from the pain. A feat as impossible as jumping off of the roof to try to escape gravity. To feel that pleasant sense of flying for a few fleeting moments...until you inevitably come crashing back to Earth. Your injury being more and more severe, depending on how high up you were when you jumped. My love for Taryn...was quite a leap of faith. And if Trevor's claims turned out to be real, my crash landing was sure to prove fatal.
"I don't want to talk right now." I mumbled.
"Fine by me. But if you ask me, you are getting way too emotional about these things. At age 14, you should be used to premiscuous relationships. Two week romances. Cheating. False claims of love. Overinfatuation..."
"Please stop...please..." I said sadly. He had done enough for one evening. And I didn't have the strength to fight him right now.
"...Sigh...you're so moody. You've gotta live your life dude. Look around, the world is our oyster. Have some fun!" Trevor put his arm over my shoulder, and I didn't even push it away. I was too weakened by the images of my boyfriend whispering his name as they coupled over and over again. It was enough to almost snatch the breath right out of me, and more tears welled up in my eyes as I refused to let them fall. My happiness was a lie. A creation in the back of my warped mind that allowed me to fall for anything. I wanted so badly to believe in a savior riding a white horse...that I was willing to accept the first decent offer I got. I was such a fool.
We came to a small street, littered with a few stores and shops. Most of them were closed at this time of night though, and there was maybe two or three people tops roaming the streets. My mind stayed numb with the fear of being forced to re-evaluate my place among this world of death and eternal darkness. Forced to consider what it would be like without Taryn's love to distract me, to keep me sane, and safe, and giving me the energy that I needed to go on. I thought back to my tussle in the park that evening...to what the boy said to me. It was weird. I was 'missing'. Actually 'missing'. Possibly presumed dead by everyone I knew. I didn't know if my mother was ok. If Richie was ok, or even alive. What did HE think about all of this? Did he even know? Did my mother tell him what happened? Or maybe people questioned him in an attempt to find me. It must have been awful, when I suddenly stopped showing up to visit him. He LIVED for my visits. We both did. And I left him....left him to die alone while I chased some fantasy romance that might not even be real. And it was that thought that caused the first few tears to fall. Once they traveled down my cheek, the rest flowed freely without end. I tried my best not to break down, but it was no use. The emotions began to overflow, and I started to lose my ability to hold them back.
"Ohhhh....hey hey. Justin...honey...it's ok." Trevor said. He stopped walking and held me close to his shoulder. "Shhhh..." He hugged me tight, but I pushed him away. I hit him lightly with my fist, no energy left inside of me. He kept trying to bring me cloer, and I kept trying to hate him, to free myself from this agony. But he kept comforting me...and although I was too stubborn to give in at first, I soon fell into his embrace. I let the tears win, stopped trying to resist, and hugged him back. I buried my head into his shoulder, and soaked him with my tears.
"Oh...oh God..." I sobbed, and I clung to him for dear life as an eternity of pain and misery flooded out of my eyes. He petted my hair softly and just held me there until the tears finally began to stop.
Then he loosened his grip a little bit, and used two fingers to lift my head, his brown eyes staring through my pain and directly into my heart. "Don't worry Justin. I may seem evil and wicked to you...but I will never lie to you Justin. I won't leave you behind. I only want you to be happy." And he kissed me gently on the forehead. His hand caressing my cheek.
"I....I..." I began to speak, not knowing what I was going to say next. My mind, my soul, they seemed to be acting on their own. I was stuck for words, and even I was afraid of what I might say next. "I...uh...Trevor..." And just as the words were about to leave my mouth, I felt a jolt of pain rush through me that almost knocked me unconscious instantly! If only I could have been so lucky. It was like a lightning bolt shooting straight through my stomach, and I fell to my knees so hard and fast that my legs almost cracked from the pressure! My body began to convulse violently, and it hurt so bad that I couldn't even scream! I rolled myself instinctively into a ball so tight that my knees were almost touching my chin. My whole body felt like it was being turned inside out, and every muscle cramped up into a cement brick! EVERY muscle! My arms, my legs, my throat, my eyes, my stomach, my heart, my feet, my hands...all of them felt like they had been pierced with large metal spikes, and at that point, I prayed for death! I prayed for it to take me away, and finally put an end to my suffering. PLEASE!!! KILL ME!!!! I'm BEGGING you!!! KILL ME!!!!!
I felt my body's convulsions rattle me with even more ferocity, and I was shaking so badly that I would have broken my own neck if I hadn't been curled up so tightly. I had a full blown seizure, and felt a thickened trickle of blood leak from the right side of my mouth. My eyes rolled as far backward as they could possibly go and then some, and a migrane threatened to split my head in two! "Shit! We've gotta get this kid off the street!" Came a voice from over me. It wasn't Trevor's. It belonged to someone else. Someone who sounded like they were about our age. Had I blacked out again? Lost track of time? How long had I been laying there...a minute, an hour? The pain disoriented my very sense of time. I couldn't open my eyes, but I could feel two sets of hands trying to pry their way between my knees and my chin, attempting to untangle my body from the tight knot that I was involuntarily trying to maintain. I was being lifted off of the ground, and carried. My legs attempting to touch the ground, but still curling upwards, trying to stop my stomach from tearing itself apart. They carried me into some late night place, the bright lights almost enough to blind me with my eyes closed, and they laid me out on the floor. I felt a pain roaming from one part of my body to another and back again, like a thousand bee stings. I heard Trevor's voice talking to the other kid, but was only able to hear bits and pieces of it. "...He hasn't quenched his thirst yet?....How long has it been?...He looks pretty bad...might not make it...one of us..." And bits and pieces of other phrases that faded in and out. Whoever this kid was, he was just like us. He knew! I got the courage to try and open my eyes briefly, and once the haze of the bright lights faded away, I saw that we had stumbled into a 24 hour Kinkos copying place. Possibly the only place open around here this time of night. We were the only ones there, and I guess it was as good a place as any to lay me down. I caught a quick glimpse of the other kid, and he was about 16 years old from the looks of him. With a slightly rounded face and brown hair. He looked down at me and whispered that everything would be ok. Somehow...I didn't believe him. I was dying, and chances are, I wasn't going to live through this attack. I could feel my life force slipping away, through every pore in my skin. And I was looking forward to being gone....from everything.
Suddenly, I heard a door open in the distance. And I guess the clerk had walked into the room from out of the back, because I smelled the scent of fresh blood in the air. It filled my senses like never before, and it forced my eyes open as it jolted me back to life like smelling salts. I stared at the clerk, he was in his mid twenties, with a young looking face. He was wearing glasses, and a small gold name tag that said 'Joshua' on it. I lay there on the floor, unable to take my eyes off of him, and I felt the agonizing pain of my attack, begin to balance out with the call of the wild that was quickly rising up inside of me. "What's this? Oh shit! What happened? Is he ok?" The clerk said frantically, not expecting to see a hurt teenager lying on the floor when he came back to the desk.
"He's going to be just fine, we just had to get him off of the streets for a few minutes." Trevor and the other kid did their best to talk 'Joshua' into calming down, but I don't think it was working too well. Their words became muffled, and the only thing I could hear now, were the voices inside my head. My pain was still there, but masked somehow by my thirst. My eyes were opened as wide as possible, staring directly at the clerk, and that's when the madness set in. It came over me like a dark shadow, and I felt my body go cold. My eyes clouded over, my mind switched back in order to take care of its needs. It was primal, wicked, and there was no fighting it anymore. I was no longer in control. I never was. There wasn't a single piece of my morality remaining. He had to die, and that's all there was to it. The admittance of that fact to myself, stopped the pain almost instantaneously, and without any conscious thought at all, I found myself standing up. I slowly rose to my feet, and felt so light that it was as if I could walk on air if I wanted to. Trevor hadn't even noticed it at first, but as soon as 'Joshua' looked at me over Trevor's shoulder, he spun around. He didn't say a word, and neither did the other kid vampire with him. We all stood in silence for a moment, and when I was finally able to take my eyes off of my intended prey, I saw a small grin appear on Trevor's face. He knew I had lost it, he could see the insanity in my eyes, and this was the main event he had been waiting for.
"Are you alright, kid?" The clerk asked.
I heard my own voice, but it wasn't 'me' speaking. I wasn't controlling it. My thoughts were being completely guided by animal instincts that I had never dared to explore before that very moment. I answered, "...Couldn't be better." And I felt a smile curl up at the corners of my mouth.
I began to walk closer, and Trevor and the other kid stepped aside, both watching eagerly to see what happened next. I was mentally gone, and my body was doing everything on its own. I felt as though I were watching a horror movie from the inside. I wanted to cry out for the clerk to run, to not listen to me, to save himself. But all I could do was watch as my body moved ever so slowly forward. Step after step, closing in on my target. "Do...do you want me to...call you an ambulance or something?" He stuttered. I could sense the blood rushing through his veins, so strongly that I could almost feel its warmth as I imagined it splashing against my skin. I could hear his heartbeat, loud and clear, and it sped up slightly with every step that I took toward him. He was scared, so scared. That only made me want him more. I was actually getting an erection from the thought of tearing into him, and a ticklish sensation ran throughout my body, making me giggle slightly to myself.
"An ambulance? No....that won't be necessary. In fact, in a few moments...I'm going to feel a whole lot better." I was close to him now, and I felt my fangs drop from my gums. But this time, I relished the pain that the piercing fangs brought to me, and my smile got even wider.
He was nervous, bordering on terrified at this point, and that was so very enticing. I stared him dead in the eyes without flinching, without backing down, and without saying a word. My stare caused his heart to beat even faster, his body temperature rising, beads of sweat appearing on his forehead, and he was too scared to move. Finally, he broke the silence by saying, "L-L-Look...I'm...I'm gonna call you a doctor." And he moved towards the phone, but the second he turned his back on me, my mind went completely blank, and my smile turned into a hiss! I felt saliva dripping down the long fangs and onto my chin, and I jumped on him from behind. He shouted out, but I threw him up against the nearest wall, hard enough to leave cracks in the plaster. He hit the wall and then fell to the floor with a thud. He started to crawl under the desk, but I was able to smash right through it, and I grabbed him by the hair, only to toss him over one of the copiers. It was effortless. The smile never left my face.
He was hurt, and tried to scramble to his feet. But his fight for survival was a mere entertainment to me. I saw a trickle of blood on the top of his head, roll seductively down his cheek, and once I was close enough, I dipped my finger in it. He jerked away from my touch, but he was still too scared to run. It was so warm, this small river of blood. Almost hot. He pulled back from me, and I looked at the vibrant red liquid on my fingertip. I put my finger in my mouth, and sucked at it in a vulgar fashion. The taste....ohhhh the taste. Mmmmm...it had a slightly salty tang to it. Young, virile, almost sweet. The second the flavor of it danced across my tongue, my body gobbled it up, absorbing it into my system like a hungry child. And I knew I had to have more, a LOT more. Right NOW!