Date: Sat, 25 Oct 2003 14:16:10 EDT From: Tommyhawk1@aol.com Subject: The Hexing of Josh and Ed THE HEXING OF JOSH TURNER AND ED PARSONS By Tommyhawk1@AOL.COM WWW.TOMMYHAWKSFANTASYWORLD.COM [Here's my annual Halloween offering. For my non-English readers, "yore" and "shore" is "your" and "sure" as pronounced in the backwoods of the South in the last century, which is the setting of this story. I think you can say the other words to yourself and figure out the rest of my phonetic stabbings at mountain-men's conversation.] "I tell you, Ed, thet woman's a witch!" Josh Turner said solemnly. "As shore'n a hoot owl hoots." "I says you say the truth." Ed Parsons said cautiously. They were staring at the old woman who sat mumbling to herself outside the general store. She certainly was a stranger in Johnson's Hollow, wearing a shawl over her too-white hair, her face heavily wrinkled, a scream of lines across her face, her nose prominent and hooked , her teeth all missing but for two, and those two were hideously brown and crooked, and she moved her gums back and forth, muttering, muttering. They hadn't dared get close enough to speak to her, just watched her from behind the wagon carefully, two stout young fellows in faded and worn overalls and shapeless shirts. Josh boasted a straw plug hat he got from his father, but neither wore shoes, for their large feet clung to the street with a life of their own. Neither young man could imagine choosing to wear shoes except to church or in the most inclement weather, the feet acting as extra hands in a half-dozen ways, agile toes picking up things and ferrying up to the upper set of hands and the scrutiny of the eyes. Those toes wriggled now, but in alarm and agitation. If a witch was moving into Johnson's Hollow, trouble was bound to come of it. "Whut are you two doin' over hyar?" came the gaily careless voice of Martha Cummings. She was a brazen young thing, and had declared to a dozen people that she intended to marry one or the other of the two lifelong friends. She hadn't clarified which one, but as many people had pointed out, she was the sort of "Good Lord, anybody'll do!" girl just waiting for someone to ask her to marry him so she could say yes and set to raising up a passel of young'uns of her own. "Watching thet woman." Josh said. And he repeated. "I tell you, thet woman's a witch." Martha started to laugh, then grew solemn. "You shore about that, Josh?" she said. "Shore as shore." Josh said. "Me, too." Ed agreed. "She looks like a witch, don't she?" "Shore does." Martha agreed. Then, as brazen as ever, she said, "Think I'll go talk to her. I could use a hexin' done for me." "A hexin'?" Ed said in alarm. "Martha, don't...." But he grabbed for her arm too late, the girl was stepping lightly over to the old woman, her plain blue shift her only clothing, arms and legs bare and wild in all four directions, and she giggled as she skipped, yes, skipped, right over to the old witch and crouched down beside her, chatting away brightly! "She's done gone plumb crazy." was Josh's appraisal. "Shore has." Ed agreed. They watched as Martha talked to the old woman. After a couple of minutes, she pointed right at the boys, to their horror. They ducked down behind the wagon and sat there on the dust. "What is Mart' up to now?" Ed wondered. Josh felt sure he knew. "She done put a hexing on us." "She wouldn't do that." Ed said, scandalized. "I tell you, she has." Josh said. "I can feel it in my bones, working on in." Ed was quiet and said, "I think I can feel it, too. It's got my stomach curling up like a hurt snake." "Yeah." Josh felt his stomach wrenching up, too. "Hey, you young'uns, clear on out of there!" came a rough male voice, and they looked up to see Old Man Foggerty, the owner of the wagon they were next to, standing over them. "Go find somewhere else to set yoreselves," he said, "Or I'll take my whip to yore backsides." Josh and Ed took off, found new refuge in the stable's sturdy side and a fortuitous bundle of straw made a passable bench. They settled in there. "What we going to do about the hexing?" Josh asked. Ed was a bit more sensible about such things, and he was now, too. "Got to find out what the hex is, I reckon." he said dolefully. "Have to come out and ask Mart' what she had done to us. Then we can figger out how to break the hex." Josh considered this. "Reckon yo're right, blood brother." he said. He and Ed had cut their thumbs and mixed their blood when they were only eight, they had been "blood brothers" ever since. While a boyish thing to do, the bond was true, they had been inseparable ever since, staying at first one's house then the other's, and recently they had taken to sharing a house left to Josh by his grandfather upon the old man's death, the two working the ten acres that came with it. Right about then was when Martha had first declared her intent to marry one of them. She had been haunting them ever since, and probably was desperate enough to hire a witch to help her along on that. "So when do we talk to Martha?" Josh said after a time. "How about now?" Martha said, and Josh started. She had come up on them from the other direction, around back of the stables. Derned woman was bad about that, it was like being spied upon, he wouldn't have been surprised to look out his window and see her peeping in on him one of these days. In fact he had on occasion found a footprint near their house which was neither his nor Ed's, small enough to be a child's...or Martha's. "What do you want to know?" Ed was braver as well as sensible. As Josh shrank back from her gaze (she had hexed them for sure, he could see it in her mischievous eyes!), Ed spoke up. "We want to know what you talked to that old witch woman about?" "I told you." Martha said as she drew a circle in the dust with her left big toe. "I asked her to put a hex on for me." "On us?" Josh asked. "Yep." Martha said. "But why? What'd we ever do to you?" Josh asked in agony. Martha lifted her head high. "I done told you I wanted one of you two to marry me, so I could keep yore house for you." She looked from one to the other. "You two are such friends, it will take a woman like me to marry either of you, without'en wanting the other one to clear on out." She grew conspiratorial. "If'n you two can keep a secret, we wouldn't have to be so careful about which one of you married me, even." she said. "You got a big bed, just put me in the middle and we won't worry which'uns the children come from." The boys were scandalized. Such a loose woman! "You just clear on out of here!" Ed said sternly. "We'll tell the reverend on you, and he'll preach you into hell come next Sunday!" "No way either of us is ever marrying you, you heathen hussy!" Josh said emphatically. "Suit yoreself." Martha shrugged. "But until you do, won't neither of you have a pecker." "What?" "I told that witch to take 'em right off of you." Martha said. "And she'll do it, tonight. When you hear an owl hoot tonight, that's when she'll do it. She'll have that hoot owl take yore peckers, mebbe along with yore knackers, and stuff them in an old oak tree way back in the forest and you won't ever find them. You'll both be smooth as a girl between yore legs. But when one of you marries me, then I'll have her bring both of them back!" "Clear off, I tell you!" Josh said. "We'll get us a counter-hex, is what we'll do!" "Ain't one." Martha said. "You know where to find me when you're ready to get yore peckers back." And she skipped off, just like a child with a happy secret. "We should burn that woman." Josh said sternly. "Only way to handle a witch." Whether he meant the old hag or Martha he didn't specify. "Maybe we will." Ed said. "But for now, let's find someone to tell us how to take off the hex. Then we'll build a bonfire for her. Let's ask my grandmother, she knows plenty of counter-hexes and charms. Like cut off the head of a live weasel and carry it warm in yore back pocket'll get you good fortune, maybe that's all we need to do." Somehow, Josh didn't think it would be that easy. Grandma didn't have any counterhex for that, her only advice was for him to marry Martha, because "after all, you boys need someone to take care of you." Old Man Tolliver just laughed when they asked him, laughed right in their faces. Mother Margaret was off visiting relatives in the next county. That left only old John Hargess, who ran a still up in the woods. He wasn't their first choice, a vile, filthy man with a foul mouth. But he knew charms, everyone agreed on that. They had to scamper to make it up to his place before sundown, fortunately it wasn't too far from their own place. Old John was drunk as he usually was. He belched in their faces and said, "Hexed yore peckers off, huh?" "She will, tonight." Josh agreed. "When the owl hoots tonight, that's when she'll take them." "Using the power of the full moon, yes. Powerful magic in the full moon, it's what werewolves need, you know. Converting magic, that's the power of the moon. She'll take the changing face of the moon and change you both, easy as pie." "So what're we goin' to do 'bout it?" "Do? Why, you hold on tight to them." Old John said. "Can't no witch take them off if you got hold of them." "Hold onto them." Josh's hand gripped his crotch. "I shore will, all right, starting right now!" Old John barked his laugh. "Won't do no good that way. Can't hold onto it yore ownself. A witch can reach right through your own hands. Got to be someone else hanging onto it." "Why's that?" Ed wanted to know. "Law of similarity. 'At's what seems, is." Old John said, belched again. His eyes were reddened and seemed to flame at them. "Thet witch'll have herself a hexing doll of each of you and that doll is going to let her do as she sees fit, magically speaking, for its arm is your arm. But she can't move the magic on two dolls at once, you see. She'll have to do it one at a time." "So if'n we got hold of each other's peckers, then the witch can't take them!" "Thet's right." "So all we got to do is hold onto them?" Josh asked. "Well, wouldn't hurt to keep them busy while you're at it." Old John said, smirked. He seemed to be about to belch fire or something. "Keep 'em busy?" Ed wanted to know. Old John made a motion with his hand that was unmistakable. "You know the way." he said. "Long as a man's busy, a witch can't get at him. The power of life has its own anti-hexin' power. But you'll have to do it all night long." he cautioned them. "Only way t'do it. Then you'll be safe until the next time there's a full moon and the hoot owl hoots." Josh figured he'd heard enough, and stood up from his crouching position which was a country boy's way of making his own chair out of his legs, the athletic toes grabbing on tight. "We both thank'ye kindly, Old John, and we'll be on our way. I don't want to be outside come moonrise." "Moon'll be up in a half hour." Old John said, still bubbling inside. "You boys better hurry home and get started, and remember to keep a tight grip on 'em until moonset." "We will, sir, don't you worry none." Ed promised. The two took off and when they were gone, Old John did in fact burst out. In laughter, the insane helpless laughter of an inebriated man who has seen something very funny. Josh and Ed made it home at sunset, which meant that it would be moonrise shortly. "You want something to eat?" Josh asked Ed. Ed shook his head. "Too scared to eat." "Me, too." Josh said. "So how you want to do it?" Ed considered the problem. "On the bed, I reckon." he judged. "Lay there, talk to each other, keep each other awake. We can sleep come sunrise." But Josh was too nervous to stand still, he paced back and forth. Every time he'd look at Ed, Ed was sitting there almost calmly, had he not known his friend better he would have been angry at Ed's calmness. But Ed wasn't calm. He just handled fear by holding still, the same Josh handled it by pacing like a trapped bobcat in a cage. As it grew dark, they lit a candle, a long stout one that could burn all night long. After a time, that light was the only light to be had. Then, like a thief stealing into their shack, the white finger of light of the moon reached into their window and they watched steal slowly toward them like it was the ghost of a dead murderer come to get them. "Hoo! Hoo-hoo!" came the call. "That's it. That's it!" Josh babbled. "The hoot owl done hooted!" His hand darted at his crotch. "God, oh, God, don't let her take my pecker!" He howled. "Get on over here!" Ed shouted at him. "I cain't help you or you me if'n yore' over there!" Josh fumbled at his fly, unbuttoning the material, dug in. Oh, God, it was gone already! No, no, it was there, still, shrunken and small. "Oh, God, she's started on mine! It's a-shrinkin'!" he moaned. "Get over here!" Ed had his cock out, and the sight of that organ calmed Josh. If his was gone, they could still save Ed's at least. He got over onto the bed and Ed's hand fumbled into Josh's pants, pulled out the frightened little pecker. "You see, she ain't got it yet! It's right here!" "It's shrinking, I tell you!" Josh wailed. "Now, Josh, I tell you it's just 'cause yo're skeered, 's'all." Ed said. "Man's pecker'll shrink when he has a fright. It's the same as it ever was. I seen it this size plenty of times when we go swimming in the spring 'n the water's still cold. "It feels numb." Josh shivered. "I kin barely feel it." "It'll be all right." Ed said. "I got a'hold of it now." Ed did, Josh realized. His buddy was there, ready to cling to Josh's manhood and save it for him. Ready to hang onto him all night long. Just like the time he had a cramp when they were young and were swimming, it was Ed come and got him and helped him in to shore. He might have drowned them if'n it hadn't been for Ed. That was when they'd decided to become blood brothers. Ed had saved him then, and Ed was going to save him now, just like he would save Ed. His cock began to feel again, feel the warmth of Ed's hand on him, the grip of life, the touch of friendship, the tie of blood brother. They were joined together, no witch could break the bond of blood brothers, the tie of blood was the most powerful of all. It meant he would never face the world alone, there would always be, so long as they both lived, him and Ed, their spirits connected. The mixture of the pagan beliefs with his Christian heritage didn't bother him, for didn't the Bible speak of evil spirits and others driving out the evil? If they'd been able to speak with Mother Margaret, the old woman would have written them out a Scripture passage with the power to protect them. But Old John Hargess was a pretty fair hand at fighting evil himself, maybe because he knew it so well himself. He'd said to hang on tight all night long, and that was just what he was going to do! His breathing calmed as his prick came back to life, swelled out in the warmth of Ed's hand to its normal size, the skin becoming soft and supple and flexible, not the hard ball it had been when Ed had first got hold of him. Ed had been soft to begin with. "Well, we got hold of 'em." Josh said after a length. "Yep, I reckon we have." Ed agreed. "Now what we going to do?" Josh asked. "Old John said to keep 'em busy." Ed said after a pause. "Said life has its own power again' hexin'." "Yeah." Josh agreed. "He did say that." He hesitated, and then gave Ed's cock an almost experimental pull back and forth. In response, it swelled and grew in his hand. "Josh?" Ed said. "Maybe we shouldn't oughta be doin' this. I mean, ain't nothing happened to us so far. Maybe it's enough to just...hold on tight." "I guess you're right." Josh agreed. "Hoo! Hoo-hoo!" And a wind guttered their candle, nearly extinguished it! With a yelp of fright, Josh pounded at Ed hard and fast, and he wasn't surprised to hear Ed's voice of surprise, and then have Ed do the same to him. When a witchin' is coming right at you, suddenly you don't have to think about things no more! So he pumped Ed's pud and it grew hard and fearsome in its strength and turgidity. His own cock was a shock of aggressive manhood that sparkled in his loins with the hundred distinct pleasures of stimulated flesh, the kind that catches your breath back in your throat and you find yourself panting at even the least exertion. There was no more hesitation on either young man's part, their hands were a pounding frenzy on each other's pricks, Josh looked into Ed's eyes in the now-steady candlelight again, and he saw his friend's face, frightened wide eyes...or eyes alight with desire. Ed's mouth was open, he was gasping and looking into Josh's eyes, and Josh knew he must look much the same to Ed. "Gotta keep this up all night." He panted to Ed. "Maybe we'd better slow down a mite on the strokin'?" "Maybe we could...." That was as far as Ed got and the owl hooted again, and again the candleflame was assaulted by the wind. The candle was sitting in a protected corner away from the window. There was no reason it would gutter like that; it had to be the witchin', the candle was warning them of the presence of the evil forces. But they had their talisman, they had their charm, they had their counterspell, and this was it, to pump each other's cocks and they did. Life was joy and life was good, and that was what bubbled up from Josh's groin to percolate through the rest of his body, he was alive and he was well and his cock, by God, his cock was still attached to him and still working! Old John was right, no witch can get at your cock and steal it when you're busy using it, when your best friend, your blood brother's, hand is on it working it for you! "Oh, yeah, pump it for me, Ed, pump it for me!" Josh groaned. "I can feel the power working in me! I can feel it chasing away the evil spirits! They're a'running, Ed, they're a'running from us!" "Uh, uh-ah, ah!" Ed moaned. "God, yes, Josh, yo're right as rain, thet power is being banished from our presence. Keep on working me, we got thet evil on the run from us now! Even the hoot of the owl and the guttering of the flame didn't fret the boys now, they had their aura of protection going now, they were suffused with the warmth and beneficience of life welling up from within them, Josh felt his cock surging with delight in a way it had never done when he'd worked it himself, furtively, beneath the covers at night when he was sure Ed was asleep. Once or twice he'd awakened to feel the bed shuddering and knew that Ed was pleasuring himself in the same way, he'd kept himself still and quiet each time it happened, not intruding on his best friend's moment of privacy, feeling the bed's movements becoming more urgent, then the strangled, suppressed moan of completion, the burst of salty smell of fresh-shot jism soaking their covers, and then Ed would be silent but for a small amount of breaths louder than usual in the dark night, and then all would be complete and he could go back to sleep, feeling that he and Ed had shared something after all, even if neither would ever speak of it. The owl's hoots were something frightful now, it was hooting at them non-stop, and the wind was shaking the shack so that the rafters fluttered some dust down from the rafters onto them. It fit their mood, though, the way their hands were busy at each other's crotch, the way that Ed's hand milked at him with a sensual completeness, so that he didn't feel a lack of any sort from this mode of sexual sharing. His friend, his best friend, had teamed up with him to combat the forces of evil and frustrate their vaunted task of entering their home and stealing away their manhoods and their strength, but that very strength was their shield and their haven, it surrounded them and nothing could reach them, and the forces summoned by the witch could only stand outside the ring and mutter vile threats against them, as they did with the hoot-owl's call and the motion of the impossible winds. They were winning, they were going to defeat this force! Josh felt it triumphantly rising inside of him, they were victorious, they were invincible, they were... His sense of exultation was replaced by one of alarm. His body was spending itself too fast, the pleasure was building and pooling in his loins, he was about to squirt! "Ed, Ed, I'm going to shoot, Ed, I'm going to shoot!" He heaved those words from his body by main force, his whole strength and self seemed to be lost in the rising ardor. "Come on, man, come on, shoot it for me!" Ed responded, his face rapt and eager, still staring into Josh's eyes. Josh looked into those lit fires, there was a strength in there and he didn't know at that moment if it was the divine clarity of good magic or the bestial darkness of the witches' spell. Had Old John been in league with the witch, had he known before they had asked what they would want, and had he decided, rather than to assist them, to aid in their downfall by erroneous advice! No, his cock wasn't vanishing, it was harder and stronger than ever! It was proud, it was magnificent, it was his life, it was all of him, he was not succumbing to the forces of darkness, his body was his and his dick was his, and no witch was taking it off of him so long as his Ed, his loyal friend, was there to help him fight it off. And in that rush of self-confidence, his orgasm struck him, he gave out a loud, long groan and he exploded up into the air. Ed was working his love-tube, stroking him with strong, hard, even strokes, so that an intensity of climax he had never known before rose up inside of him, this was no ordinary explosion of jizz, this was his body fighting back once and for all the demons that wished to thieve away his maleness in the night. Never, never! He sprayed and Ed groaned, his eyes wide at the sight, and then he groaned, and Josh felt Ed's cock grow warm, so warm in his hand, he was then pounding a hard man-gun that seethed beneath his hand, and then Ed joined him in his ecstasy, and they were both spraying their seed up into the air and the power of life was there, released to the world around them, and they would be saved, they would! Such a powerful ejaculation, Josh had never known before, he came, his body writhed with the intensity of it, and the squirting of his jism, that he knew, but now there was no more coming from him, but still his body was trembling, it was like climax was besieging his body now in several separate forces, so that from here and there about his body, orgasm raced along his spine and intersected his brain and he jerked yet again, a pause, and another sensation and another jerk of his body, he was spasming and contorting still long after he was done. And still Ed pumped on him, still his own hand kept itself busy upon Ed's prong, and every last erg of joy was milked out of their puds, and then they were done, Josh holding a cock spent and sticky, but still very much there! "We beat them off, I think." he gasped to Ed. "Maybe so." Ed said. "But don't let go." As Josh's extended orgasm finally released him, he found himself weak and his fear of the witch's power returned to him. "She'll get us for shore, now!" He moaned. "What're we going to do?" "I'm not letting go of you." Ed said. "And don't you let go of me." "Never." Josh whispered. "Let's get them back up again." Ed recommended. "I think mine will get stiff for you again if you'll be gentle with it." It did, and Josh was able now to gently stroke it. But the witch's siege of their little fortress of life was unending, they felt the forces of darkness surging about them, and Josh began to pump his buddy's dick again, working the cock like a man would rub a charm. Ed did the same to him, and Josh found his body responding as if it were the first time. A half hour or so of this and he found his body rising once more to climax. Ed was pleased when he did it, and gently urged Josh's dong back to holdable fullness when he was done. Some minutes later, Ed was brought once more to the brink and Josh triumphantly pumped his blood brother's cock to a second spray of potent seed. But the siege went on and the two were surrounded. The night was long and never once were they left alone, throughout the night the demons hovered just outside their view, but they were there, Josh could feel them, they were there, gnashing their teeth in frustration and waiting, hoping they would give up. For Ed and for himself, he couldn't do that. Again and again his body struggled up to quavering orgasm, time and again his body was wracked by the exquisite agony of pure joy. His body seemed to know it was under attack, and while his cockhead became tender at times, the tenderness receded in short time and he was able once again to withstand the mercies of Ed's fingers as they brought him climbing the hills of desire once again. His body was soaked with his sperm, it had splashed him all over. His arm, too, was soiled with Ed's jism, and Ed too was similarly dappled with white globs of jizz. And they still struggled on, never daring to stop, nor venturing to rest or release their hold. For their own sake and their friend's, they must not stop! When dawn at last replaced the failing light of the moon, Josh finally began to dare to hope they had endured. When the sun climbed over the height of the trees, a solid hour after sunrise, he was ready to bet the moon was gone and couldn't see them no more. Ed's hand was milking him still, mewling, Josh groaned out a feeble burst of seed and gasped and shuddered in divine torture at the wracking his body had endured. But it had endured whole. His cock was still there, still safe in Ed's fingers, still his after all. "I think the moon is gone." he said to Ed when he was done. "I hope so." Ed said. "We can sleep now, can't we?" "Shore." Josh said kindly. "Now we can sleep." They were lucky not to have any livestock, nothing they had to do couldn't wait until they had recovered. So he and Ed stood and sleepily removed their clothing, wiped their bodies with their shirts and then, reasonably clean, crawled nude under the covers to sleep at last. How long they slept, Josh didn't know, but they awakened to Martha brazenly walking right into their shack. No houses had locks on them, but only someone like Martha would treat that as permission to walk on in. Josh pulled the covers over himself completely and shouted, "Martha, dang it all! Don't ya'll know better'n walk into a man's house when he ain't expecting you?" "Still got your peckers?" she asked with a simpering glee. "We still got them." Josh said. "Your hex ain't working on us." Martha shrugged, as if that wasn't of any import. "There'll be other nights. The witch can try for me again until she wins. You'd better give up and propose to me now and save yourselves the heartache of living without your peckers and knackers to fill your britches." "You ain't welcome in here." Josh said. "Not now and not ever. Ed and I fought off the witch's hex last night and we can keep right on doing it." "What makes you think that witch is going to keep on trying?" Ed asked. "Oh, could be on several accounts." Martha said. "But the main account is on account of that witch is my Great Aunt Jane. She knows I got a hankering to get myself hitched, and she'll keep right on trying until I get my way." "You clear on out of here!" Josh said. "Next time I see you, I'll gun you down, I will." "You'll change your mind." Martha said. "I know what you two did last night, shame on you." "No shame in fighting off a hex." Ed countered. Martha grinned. "But you can't do that every night, can you? Every night, all night?" "We can durned sure try." Josh said. He looked at Ed and smiled. "I know I'm willing." "Me, too." Ed said. "Damned if I'll be forced into marrying anyone." Martha had no answer for that, she only looked angry and spiteful as she stomped out of the shack. "She means it." Ed said. "She'll keep thet old witch a hexin' at us, every durned night." "Then every durned night, we'll just have to be sure to hang on." Josh said. "If'n I can't help out my best friend, who can I help out?" Ed's answer was not in words, his hand came over and took Josh's cock in his hands, cupped the spent organ lovingly. And he smiled at Josh. Josh smiled back and took Ed's prick into his own hand. Have to get used to sleeping like this, he reckoned. Man could do it if'n he had to. And they returned to slumber, resting for the renewed battle they would fight, for hexes were most powerful during the full moon, and the full moon still had two more nights to go. And there would be more, many more, to come, too. Further down the road, Martha stopped, turned and looked back at the little shack. The sullenness left her face, and she managed a chuckle. Held her hand up to her mouth and used one little secret talent she had. "Hoo! Hoo-hoo!" she sent back to the shack, though she knew they couldn't hear her from way down here. She could do a hoot owl's hoot that would fool anybody, especially a couple of gullible ones like Josh and Ed. And those two men! Careless housekeepers, they'd never notice that little hole she'd cut in the side of their shack, just big enough to insert a reed that would let her blow onto a candleflame, guttering it while her breath rushing through it would imitated well the sound of a vagrant but sturdy wind. Secure in her ability to renew the "hexing" whenever she chose, she went back down the hill toward Johnson's Hollow, to find herself a man from the others who lived in the small community. THE END Comments, complaints or suggestions? E-mail me at Tommyhawk1@AOL.COM WWW.TOMMYHAWKSFANTASYWORLD.COM