Date: Sat, 7 Feb 2004 07:40:25 -0800 (PST)
From: stopherlaw@yahoo.com
Subject: Homophobic Jail Cell - part 2

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This story is fictional and any similarity between actual persons or
events is coincidental. This story contains depictions of sexual
situations between males. If this subject offends you, or you shouldn't
be reading this type of material, please leave now. Comments can be sent
to: stopherlaw@yahoo.com .

Letters From a Homophobic Jail Cell

Part 2

Nine months ago, I had a client by the name of Jared. He was 19 years
old, had soft silky smooth skin, and was very cute. He was also a male
prostitute. By all accounts, a very popular and satisfying one at that!
He was picked up in a sting operation by the FBI, was charged with
violating the decency laws, being under the influence of semen,
committing immoral acts of perversion, and felonious assault. Jared was
looking at life imprisonment, but after a brilliant bit of lawyering on
my part, he was allowed to plead no contest to violating the decency laws
and the other charges were dropped. Jared was sentenced to eight months
probation. During that time, he was forced to attend sexual reprogramming
counseling.

I saw Jared one week ago. I am happy to say that they didn't break him!
He told me what they did to him in sexual reprogramming counseling, and
it made me physically ill. They were forced to look at Playboy magazines,
and were not allowed to read the articles! Every day of the program,
they were forced to commit sexual acts with women at least three times
per day, and had their eyes taped open, so they could not even fantasize
about being with a guy. They were heavily medicated and had to endure
shock therapy. The worst part about it is, although he was discharged
from probation, Jared must continue to attend weekly Spermaholics
Anonymous meetings in order to remain eligible for a drivers license and
passport.

Luckily, it was Jared's first offense. I had another client, Dan, who was
a repeat offender. The decency laws do not look favorably upon
recidivism. Six months ago, Dan was found guilty of conspiracy to commit
acts of sexual perversion. Yeah, that was a major crock of shit as well.
He was on a fucking date. He wasn't even kissing, but he and his date,
John, were busted while walking out of the coffee shop hand in hand.
Anyway, while on probation, Dan was caught in the act. I wish I had been
there! Dan is a very good looking guy, and when I read the report of
what happened, I required a change of underwear.

After a group therapy session, Dan and another couple of guys hung around
the room. The counselor was new, and wasn't aware of the rule that the
men in the program were never to be alone, so she left. Dan was sitting
between two equally attractive men, all of whom were gay, and very horny,
having not been able to even masturbate during probation (the courts were
concerned that if the guys were allowed to jerk off they would fantasize
about other men).

Dan got things started by reaching his arms out and placing his hands on
each of the men's thighs. Jeff, the one on the left, turned in his chair
to face Dan. As he did so, Dan's hand moved up to and started squeezing
his rapidly growing cock. Kevin, the one on the right, was torn between
not wanting to get into any further trouble, and the desperate desire to
get off. When Kevin felt Dan run his hand slowly up his stomach and began
rubbing his left nipple through his shirt, any concern Kevin had about
violating his probation were forgotten.

By this time, Jeff had leaned forward in his chair, Dan turned his head
to the left, and they began making out, wildly, sloppily, and full of hot
lust. Kevin grabbed Dan's trembling hand and brought it up to his
salivating mouth, licking Dan's fingertips, and dragging his moist tongue
along Dan's palm.

"Ugh," Dan groaned into Jeff's mouth, as he continued to grope and rub
Jeff's rigid penis through his dampening pants. Continuing to hold Dan's
sweaty palm to his lips with his right hand, Kevin reached over with his
left and began to undo Dan's belt buckle.

"Oh fuck Dan!" Jeff panted, as his hips began to involuntarily buck and
he experienced a powerfully intense orgasm, his boxers, already damp with
precum, becoming soaked with the creamy result of Dan's handjob.

With one last slow trace of his tongue from Dan's wrist up to the tip of
his middle finger, Kevin removed Dan's hand from his mouth and pushed it
down into his crotch. "Let's jerk each other off." Kevin blurted. Dan
turned his head to his right and leaned in to meet Kevin's waiting mouth,
as he reached over with his left hand and unzipped Kevin's jeans. Kevin
already had his strong fingers wrapped around Dan's throbbing shaft, and
was beginning to slowly work his fist up and down.

Jeff got out of his chair and knelt down in front of Dan and Kevin. He
watched intently at them making out and tugging each other determinedly.
Jeff reached both hands inside his pants and boxers, making his fingers
sticky with his recent discharge. He ran his hands underneath his shirt
and rubbed his nipples with his slippery fingers. Dan fondled Kevin's
scrotum with his left hand and stroked his quivering prick with his
right. Kevin began pumping faster and faster with his left hand while he
rubbed around the precum slicked head of Dan's penis with the palm of his
right hand.

Dan pulled his lips away from Kevin's and yelled, "Oh yeah Kevin, oh
shit! I'm gonna cum!" Kevin quickly removed his right hand from atop
Dan's pulsating pole and reached down to tenderly squeeze his gonads.
Dan's cock burst forth with its gooey offering, his warm cream spurting
onto the floor in front of Jeff and dripping onto Kevin's hands.
Breathing heavily, Dan bent down to take Kevin's penis in his mouth.

It was at that moment that one of the counselors walked into the room,
filled with the thick fragrance of masculine sex. All three of them were
charged with violating their probation, since the very first condition of
any probation served by a guy found guilty of violating one of the
decency laws is to refrain from pleasuring yourself or another man. Jeff
and Kevin were second time offenders. They had court ordered surgery to
deaden the nerve endings in their nipples. Dan, unfortunately, was a
third time offender. He had his prostate removed!

There are actually some compassionate members of Congress left, who are
pushing to abolish the surgical mutilation of homosexuals. However, the
mercy is not absolute. These same Senators and Congressmen are pushing
for another Removal Act, like the one passed in 1830 which authorized the
President to negotiate with Indians and get them to relocate in the
western territories. There was once talk of rounding up all American
Indians and relocating them in one state (now Oklahoma) to be called
Sequoia. Well, there were some blatantly gay-bashing Senators who
suggested all gay people be removed to Oklahoma, and rename it Oklahomo.
But the general consensus currently is to remove us all to Cuba.

I guess since the US Government annexed Cuba last year following the
death of its Communist leader and the subsequent US invasion, they need
to figure out something to do with it. Quite frankly, I would not mind
moving to Cuba if it meant that we would have a place of our own where we
could be ourselves and not suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous
homophobes.

Oh, what the hell am I going to do? If I could just win this one case I
can start to chip away at those heinous decency laws. My client, Paul,
has been accused of allegedly having an unlawful blood sperm content, and
committing acts of sexual perversion. Lawyer/client privilege prevents me
from sharing with you the facts of what actually happened. But I am
allowed to share what is contained in the public court documents.

On the night of December 31, my client, Paul, while exiting a dance club,
was stopped by a police officer. He was immediately detained, questioned,
and had a preliminary breathalyzer administered. The test showed an
unlawful amount of sperm (pursuant to the decency laws, any amount is
unlawful), so he was placed under arrest. During the interrogation he
endured at the police station, he allegedly confessed to having oral sex
with three men at the club.

So I've got a client who was been rotting in jail because of allegedly
handing out a few New Year's Eve blowjobs, and I can't get him out! If
convicted of both counts, the best I will be able to do is get him on
probation for 2 years. Hopefully, I can get one or both of the counts
thrown out, but the court system has not been very helpful in that regard
this past year. I know the Prosecutor isn't going to be any help though.
I went to college with him, and he once invited me to go out gay-bashing
with him, just to judge my reaction I suppose.

Well, I suppose that anytime you have a defense client, the first thing
you need to figure out is whether he did it. If your client is innocent,
all you have to do is make sure that the truth comes out. If on the other
hand your client is guilty, your only real chance of getting him off is
to lie your ass off, which is both unethical and illegal, try to make it
more difficult for the prosecution to prove his guilt, or get the law he
was charged with violating thrown out as unconstitutional.

I will not lie, nor will I represent a client who lies. The judge already
thwarted my attempts at keeping out some of the overwhelming amount of
evidence they have against Paul. So now my only real option is to get the
courts to throw out the Defense of Normalcy Act, or at least the parts
thereof Paul is charged with violating. I've been trying this approach
for the better part of one year now, but even if I luck out with a
sympathetic District Judge, any favorable decision has been overturned on
appeal.

My train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the lock on my jail
cell being opened, the jangle of keys and shackles, and the sight of the
stunning 25 year old who had been the object of most of my masturbatory
fantasizes these past few months. I stared in shock as my law clerk was
directed into my jail cell. A quick glance up and down his body told me
he wasn't just here for a visit. His dazzling white Nikes were without
shoelaces, meaning that my beloved Juan had been booked.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked incredulously.

Juan's pouty lips unturned in his trademark brilliant warm smile and
replied, "I took a swing at the judge!"

Now, I had known Juan for sometime now, well now known him in a sexual
sense, but believe me it's not for lack of trying, and I'd never known
him to be a violent person. In fact, other than his handsome Hispanic
features, his quiet passive loving demeanor is one of his most endearing
qualities.

Juan began to laugh, seeing me staring at him wide-eyed and mouth gaping.
"I didn't actually hit the judge." he explained. "After the Bailiff
dragged you off, I went up to the bench to pay your fines and arrange for
your release. As I was counting out the monies to cover your $200 fine,
the Judge smirkingly informed me that you would still have to spend the
night incarcerated due to your contempt charge. That is when I just
wadded up the bills and threw them at him, then tried to reach across to
grab him."

I was proud of the defiance displayed by my little Juan, but also very
concerned. "Were you charged with anything?" I asked.

"Oh no," assured Juan, "just held in contempt like you." His eyes
reflected a displaced wonderment, and I could tell from the sound of his
voice how proud he was of what he has just done, as he added, "I am not
even officially a lawyer yet and I have already been held in contempt!"
We both laughed at that one.

As the laughter waned, Juan walked over and sat down beside me on my cot,
a lot closer than I would have expected him to, but I was not going to
say anything about it. He took a deep breath, leaned in to whisper in my
ear, and muttered, "I guess this means that I'm your bitch now!" He gave
me a quick peck on the cheek, got up and walked over to the cot opposite
mine. Once again, I was utterly speechless.

Juan broke me out of my musing by suggesting that we get to work on how
to get Paul released. As much as I just wanted to go over to his cot and
violate the decency laws, I agreed that we should start thinking up our
strategy, having the utmost confidence that my secretary would be
dutifully at the jail the following morning to pick us up and take us
back to the office. An evil grin crept across my face thinking about Juan
and I taking our shower together at my office, but Juan's voice snapped
me back to reality.

"Can't we just show that the cop who arrested Paul is prejudiced towards
gays?" he asked.

Shaking my head disgustedly, I replied, "Nope, I'm afraid that won't
work. Believe me I've already tried that one and the argument just
doesn't carry the day in decency cases."

I then relayed an experience I had a few months prior to Juan's hiring.
My client in that case was pulled over for speeding. The cop, noticing
the pride sticker in his back window, suspected him of violating the
decency laws and gave him a breathalyzer. Sure enough, it showed an
unlawful blood sperm content. I tried to argue that the cop should not be
allowed to testify, which would have rendered all the evidence he had
collected against my client inadmissible, because he was prejudiced
against my client. I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt during my
preliminary examination of the cop that he was a gay-bashing homophobe. I
had asked him if he'd ever used the word faggot. That son of a bitch,
Detective Furvert, actually chuckled when he admitted that he did! But
the Judge still let him testify against my client, saying that if every
cop who was prejudiced against criminals were barred from testifying the
streets would be, and this was the judge's quote, "a perverse orgy of sin
and crime!"