Disclaimer: This story involves love, relationship, and "adult" subject matter between teenage boys... so I guess that means your not supposed to read this if your under 18, but really if you are younger than that, I can't stop you. Just Don't Get Caught :)  If homosexuality offends you, then leave, or join the 21st century, and open up to it.

This Is FICTION... any character resembling a real life person is by coincidence, and in the rare event a character is based on someone in real life their name has been changed due to legal and personal protection.  You never know who's lurking around reading this.  So now the little spiel is over so hopefully someone will enjoy this.  Do Not Reproduce this story, and if you would like to have it on your web site, email me for my permission. Thanks. Copyright © Jaden & Jaded Edge Productions 2003

For the next couple of weeks I was fighting with myself.  Chad's words ringing through my head every waking moment.  'It's your life, not theirs.'  He's right, but not right.  This group at the lot has given me a new life, saved me from dying.  So, isn't my life partly theirs?  I'm so confused right now.  My longings for my old friends have only increased with time.  I can still see them fresh in my mind.  Laughing, joking, crying... just everything that goes along with the package.

I had been training intensely trying to hone in on my extra's powers.  Bryson helped me build some dummies because I uh.. kinda sort of made the werewolf carcass explode.  Let's just say I don't want to be cleaning up that type of mess again.  The dummies were just made of things laying around the lot, no metal though.  Electricity and metal do not mix well.  There were two smaller ones and then a very large dummy in the between them.  They were set up in a secluded part of the lot as not to accidentally have someone walk in front of me while practicing.

My extra has been breaking down in my mind, how it works.  I worked out that since the transparency had something to do with the electrical activity that it had to have some part in activating it.  I lashed out at the smaller dummies using all of my skills to attack them from every direction.  I looked through them, then snapped a hard kick at one of the dummy's midsection.  My leg connected hard, then sort of absorbed itself right into the dummy.  That part I had figured out how to work.  It's really all mental.  If I concentrate hard enough I can not only see through things, but hit right through them.

"How's it going?"  Trevor walked up behind me.

"Okay.  I still haven't figured out everything."

"It's going to take time.  Your extra will never stop developing.  So once you learn how to do one thing, another newer, tougher skill will present itself."

"Great.  I'm already a danger to myself and everyone else, all I need is for this power to get more hectic."

"Well, maybe I can help you."  I looked at him, searching for any underlying intentions.  Trevor has made a complete one eighty with me since the werewolf attack.  His devious smile has virtually vanished, and he seemed to genuinely want to be around me.

"Okay."

He smiled at me, "Well, I'm going to try and help you control your power.  Then, if you like I'll teach you my extra."

"Really?"  I said, still skeptical about him.

"Yeah, really.  Let's get started."  He came closer to me and put his hands on my shoulders.  "How's your mind reading ability?"

"Well, with vampires I'm not really sure.  I tried it with Taryn once."  He cringed momentarily, but shook it off, "But I couldn't see what he was saying."

"Okay, well, just concentrate on me.  Imagine it's only me in the world, and it will come to you."  I stared into his baby brown eyes, doing as he told.  The thoughts plaguing my mind slipped away until there was only Trevor.  I could hear noises.. no voices...  scrambled up words.  Trevor being the malicious person I knew to be him, but also him being a sweet, kind person.  Then it all went silent and one single phrase appeared in my head.

"You are my world."  I spoke softly.  Trevor grinned that I had done it.  The thing is I didn't know how to respond to that.  He must've sensed my uneasiness.

"Great.  Now, let's get that extra under control.  You'll teach me when you do, right?"  He asked hopefully.

"Yeah.  I can teach you the transparency part I think."

"Okay.  Well, my extra is desires.  I can feel people's desires.  That's how why I bit you, because of your desire to live.  And the fact that you're so hot."  He snickered.  I blushed, but couldn't help smiling at his playful demeanor for a change.  "So, what you have to do is focus on that aspect of a person.  Just zone in on what they want.  Here..."  He took my hand and pressed it to his chest.  "Focus."

I did as I was told.  I cleared my mind once again and let it take me to wherever it needed to.  Suddenly I felt a strong emotion flood me... whatever it was is made me instantly get hard.  It was Trevor's desire.. he desired to be with me.  The sexual vibrations coming off of him were very intense so I pulled my hand away.  "Whoa.."

"Hehe, yeah.  You control it the same way you've learned to control your "x-ray vision" type deal.  Just focus on it and you can feel the full effect or turn it down to minimal so you won't be consumed by the other person's urges."

"Thanks.  Uh.."  I was about to say something about what he was desiring, but I decided against it, "Let's go over to the dummies."  He followed me over to the front of a small dummy.  "You will probably get this easily because your concentration is so good.  Basically just focus on what it really is.. nothing.  It's a fake replica of a person, and you can see right through it's fakeness.  Just really look at it for what it truly is and you will see what I see."

I watched him burn his eyes into the dummy.  He held his gaze for a good 5 minutes, never once flinching.  Then he motioned for me to come closer to him.  He put a hand on my shoulder, then with the other hand drove a fist into the midsection of the dummy.  It didn't go through though.

"Damn.  I can see through it, but I can't put anything through it like you."  He said dejectedly.

"Hehe, that's because I didn't tell you how to yet.  Instead of looking through the object, you have to look inside it.  Try to find out what's inside of it, you want to see the stuffing in its midsection, the very makeup of the being."  He did as I said, and in few moments seemed to catch on.

"I can see the inside!  Okay, now just hit it?"

"No."  I took hold of his hand, "Now, just see your hand going through it in your mind.  On 3.  1.... 2.... 3!"  With that we drove our connected hands right through the dummy, knocking it's stuffing out the back of it.  Trevor yelped out in joy.

"That was sweet!"  He wrapped his arms around me and jumped around.  His eyes locked on to mine then we stopped.  His desire extra turned on by itself and I could feel his desire.. to kiss me.  His lips came closer and closer until they touched mine.  It was a tender kiss, not like the porno looking kisses he and Michael had been putting on display.  I pushed him away gently.  I smiled at him, but my thoughts betrayed me.

"I, uh, we can't do this.  You have a boyfriend."

"Michael? He's disposable.  I don't want him, I want.."

"No.  That right there is one major reason why.  You just called another person disposable.  He's not disposable, Trevor.  The kid loves you and you don't care."

Anger flashed across his face, "Fuck you, Joey.  I can't make myself love him.. because I'm in love with you."  I looked at him stunned, not expecting to hear those words come out of his mouth.  He turned around and stomped off.

I sighed then looked back at the giant dummy.  I looked inside of it, the massive amount of stuffing in it's abdomen.  I let out a yell of frustration and took a running start at it.  I jumped high in the air and dove right into the dummy.  At first I was confused as to where I was... when I realized I was actually inside of it!  Taryn and Justin were walking towards my training area from a distance.  For some reason I couldn't get out.  I focused on seeing through it, which I could, but my limbs wouldn't break through.  Visions of the hospital came back to me.

Me, lying on a table, surgeons shouting, trying to save me.  'Clear!'  Then I was zapped.. electricity was shot through my body trying to revive my heart.  That's it.. why I have this power.  I thought of Blade, his sobs, his goodbye.  Tears started pouring from my eyes.  Fuck this, I'm getting out of this thing.  I did what Tim said to do, use my mind.  Control my power, don't let it control me.  Flashes of the defibrillator zapping me kept popping up in my head, until all I saw was a blue light.  The now familiar burning throughout my body started, and I screamed out from the intensity of it this time.  I kept my concentration on the dummy, as the neon blue electric current engulfed me... then BOOM!

Parts of the dummy flew everywhere as I exploded from the inside of it.  I landed on my feet, still writhing in the afterglow of it.  I saw Taryn and Justin getting up off of the ground, obviously not knowing what just happened.  The blue light finally died down as I eased my mind back to normal.  They looked at me in disbelief.

"Wow.. t-that was just.. wow..."  Taryn stuttered out.

"I guess you are special.  Are you okay, I mean that didn't effect you at all?"  Justin inquired.  I looked down at myself for any noticeable marks, bruises, cuts.. anything.  There were none.  I just shrugged my shoulders at them.  "Uh, if you get mad at me, make sure you don't make me explode..." I knew he was joking, but the thing was I didn't find it that funny.  What if by some chance the extra goes off by itself and I hurt.. or even kill one of my friends?

"Don't look so down, Joey.  Justin was just joking."

"I know.  But what happens if it goes off by accident?  What happens if I'm with you..."  He put his hand on my shoulder.  His touch was so soft, almost causing me to melt.  I immediately glanced at Justin, knowing full well that he knew what I was feeling.  He just gave me a small grin, as if to say don't worry about it.

"Joey, you're learning fast.  Don't doubt yourself, you can control it."  I stood facing them, when an arm reached over my shoulder with a rose in front of my face.

"I'm sorry."  A whisper went through my ears.  I took the rose, but the arm withdrew itself.  I turned to see Trevor walking away.  Taryn and Justin looked on in awe.

"I did not just see that."  Taryn exclaimed.  "Trevor.. being romantic?"

"Hell has frozen over."  Justin said, poking me in the ribs causing me to smile.  "Well, Gyro wants to go out tonight, are you in Joey?"

"Sure, lets party.  Hehe, and I still haven't met Gyro yet.."

"Well, just try and keep up with him, he's one big ball of energy."  We walked off to the center of the lot, joking and laughing with each other.

There we met up with a kid, I say kid because he seemed to be no older that 13 years old, bouncing like he was hopped up on caffeine.  His brown eyes set off his multi colored hair.  He was going on and on about something to Dylan, who seemed to just stand there and listen.  Once his eyes settled on me he stopped talking for a moment.

"New blood?"

I extended my hand to him, "Joey, actually."  He laughed.

"Finally, someone with a sense of humor!  You're coming out tonight right? Nah, forget it, you don't have a choice.  I'm Gyro by the way."

"Nice to meet you."

"Likewise.  Anyways lets go, there's partying to be done!"  He practically dragged me out of the lot.  I could hear Taryn, Justin and Dylan laughing behind us.

We came to a building where Gyro knocked on a door.  A large man opened it and immediately gave a long scowl our way.

"Bernie!"  Gyro exclaimed.

"Don't you ever get tired, boy?"  He huffed.

"You should know the answer to that by now!  Soooo, let us in.. pretty please."  Gyro laid on the puppy dog eyes look.  It was so adorable I don't know how anyone could resist it.

"You kids.. no trouble or else you'll all be out on yer asses."  Gyro sprinted past Bernie.. the only problem was he still had a grip on my arm.  I nearly smashed into at least 10 people.  Justin, Taryn, Dylan and I all sat down at a large table, while Gyro took off to greet the patrons and grab some drinks.  I gazed out at the dance floor, watching couples stare into each other's eyes, as if there were nothing in the world that could break their love.  My gaze shifted to Taryn and Justin who were also making bedroom eyes at each other.  Dylan seemed to be watching this as well.  Our eyes met, and he looked away.  I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach.  The feeling of loneliness.  Gyro came back with a tray full of drinks and placed them in front of all of us.

"Drink up boys!"  With that we all picked up a shot glass and downed it.  I coughed as the liquid burned my throat.  "Haha, watch it rookie, this isn't your run of the mill stuff here.  Come on, lets dance."  I don't think I'm ever going to get a word in edge wise with this kid.  We danced around the club, Gyro seemingly grinding with every girl in sight.  I had to laugh to myself about that.  He came back around to me then stopped.  He cocked his head and raised his eyebrows slightly.  He presented his hand to me and snickered, "Ready to get your groove on?"  I flashed a smile at him, and we started to bob to the beat.  Gyro is a very uh, good, but dirty dancer.  Hehe, I swear I couldn't tell if we were dancing or having sex on the dance floor.  After a few fast paced dances we went back to our table.  Taryn grinned at me and I flushed a bright red.

"Hey guys, lets play a quick round of suck and blow."  Dylan's eyes widened, at the mention of the game.  Gyro pulled out a card and placed it over his mouth.  He turned to Dylan who carefully 'sucked' the card to his mouth.  He in turn did the same with Justin, and Justin to Taryn.  I leaned down to take the card from Taryn's mouth, which I did successfully.  Not that thought didn't run through my mind to 'accidentally' let the card slip.. hehe, oh well.  I turned to Gyro who moved in on me.  He leaned down and started to suck the card from my mouth, but somehow the card slipped, and his mouth ended up over mine.  I started to pull away immediately, but he held my head and finished off the kiss.  Once he pulled away I could just tell there was a goofy smile on my face.  "Haha, I think he liked it, what about you guys?"  The rest of the table roared with laughter.  "Well, this games over, enough boy on boy action for me tonight."

"That's funny, I thought you didn't go for guys."  I cold voice broke through our laughter.  There stood Trevor, with a very hurt look on his face.

"I'm not.  It's just a game, I'm perfectly in love with my girl back home.  So, how are you and the cling on doing?"

"Fuck you, Gyro.  You're such an asshole."  Trevor spun on his heels and took off out the door.  I looked at Gyro, not really understanding the tension between them.

"Joey, wanna take a walk outside for a moment?"  I nodded, and followed him outside.  "I bet you're wondering what that was all about huh?"

"Actually yeah."

"Well, you see Trevor and I have this love hate type of relationship.  He's in love with me, but hates me because I love girls.  I love him as a friend, but hate the fact that that's not enough for him."

"I see."

"He looked a little more torn up than usual back there though..."

"Uh, yeah.  He's kind of in love with me."

'Oh really?  Wow.. he actually said that?  That's surprising.  Maybe there is some good left in that kid after all."

"He's been really good to me the last few weeks, but I just.."

"You don't feel the same."

"No, actually I do have feelings for him.  It's just I've seen his bad side and well, there's something a little more complicated than that holding me back too."

"Like what?"  He inquired.  I got a far off distant look in my eyes.

"I'm from New York originally, but my home had been in California for the last couple of months before my death.  I loved it there.  Great friends, home, girlfriend.. boyfriend.. just everything was perfect.."

"And you miss it, want to go back to it and so on."  I nodded at him, "Well, there's no rule saying you have to stay here.  But you still can't come in contact with anyone who knows you, ya know the whole widespread panic thing."

"I just don't know what to do..."  Gyro put a hand up to stop me.  He took my hand and placed it on over my heart.

"Do what you feel in here.  Follow your heart not your head."  I nodded at him.

"I, uh, think I'm going to go back to the lot now.  Thanks, Gyro.  I'm glad I met you.  Hehe, and you are a hot kisser."  I winked at him.  He pulled me into a hug before I left.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow night.  Remember, your heart not your head."  I smiled at him and started back on my way.

I arrived at the lot shortly after.  I ran back wanting to get in a little physical activity for the night.  There was still a couple of hours before sunrise, so the lot was relatively empty.  I waved to Bryson who was talking to Doc.  It looked like they were the only two there.  There was a faint glow over by Dylan's car.  I walked around the back of it to the other side.  There was Trevor, sitting on an old chair with a small table set up in front of him.  A candle and a few roses adorned the top of it.  He looked up at me with a troubled expression and motioned for me to sit down.

"I'm sorry about the club."  He said, looking down at his hands as he spoke.  This was definitely not the same cocky, self centered Trevor from a few weeks ago.

"Don't worry about it, I understand."  He took my hand in his.

"I know you think I'm an asshole, but I'm asking you to give me a chance.  I want to try and make something out of me and you."  He leaned over the table and kissed my lips gently.  I just went with the flow and kissed back.  I could feel the desires in myself and him building.. not just of lust, but of something more.. maybe love.  He pulled away and waited for my reaction.

"Trevor... let me sleep on it okay?  I do have feelings for you, I'm sure you know that."  He nodded, "I need to think about some things."

"Okay.  So, tomorrow then.  I love you, Joey."  He leaned over and pecked me on the lips once more, before retreating to somewhere else in the lot.  I sighed, then got into Dylan's car.  I don't know what to do......

I awoke the next day.. in sunlight?  Wait.. where am I?  I looked around at my surroundings.  A house.. m-my room.  Was it all a dream?  Trevor?  The lot?  Everything?  I jumped out of bed and headed out into the living room.  No one was there so I flew up the stairs to Blade's room.  I knocked on the door, but there was no answer.  I slowly turned the door knob and entered the room.  Blade was lying on his bed, his eyes closed, with tear streaks on his cheeks.  He had something in his hand.. a gold charm.  I ran my hand through his hair.

"I'm here, Blade.  Don't cry."  His eyes shot open.

"Why'd you leave me, Joey?"  I started to answer, when the world seemed to swirl.

I closed my eyes to try and focus, but when I opened them again, I was somewhere else.  The hospital.  I tried to move, but I couldn't.  Doctor's were all around me, one cutting into me with surgical tools.  Stop.. I tried to scream out, but nothing came out.  I heard one of the doctor's say he's gone, then crying.. sobbing from the hallway.  Blade, crying.  I have to tell him I'm okay.  I tried to get up, when a doctor pulled a sheet up over my head and the world went black.

I shot up in the back seat of Dylan's car so fast I almost smacked my head on the roof.  I was sweating, trembling from the nightmare I had just had.  It was so real...  I felt around for my clothes when my hand felt something else on the floor. I picked up a shirt.. no a jersey.  I opened it up and two other things fell out of it and onto the seat.  I looked at the jersey in front of me.. Anaheim Phantoms.. my hockey team.  I flipped the jersey over to see the number 16 and the name Stevens on the back.  Blade Stevens.  Tears threatened to fall as I pulled the jersey on.  I picked up the other two items.  One, half of a charm Blade had given me to symbolize our friendship, the other.. a picture of me and him.  I opened the door to the car and stepped out.  I smashed the picture frame and took out the picture.  I placed it in my pocket, along with the charm and went out looking for Bryson.  I found him sitting on a car with Gyro.  They took one look at me and knew something was up.

"What's.."  Bryson started.

"I'm leaving."  I said.  Not coldly but sternly.

"What do you mean, you're leaving?"

"I'm going back to California.  I have to.. to put myself at ease."  He looked a little upset at my sudden revelation.

"Joey, I think it's best for you to stay here..."

"Bryson, I'm not negotiating.  I need to go back.. if I can settle things with myself there, I'll come back here.  To you guys."

He sighed and looked at Gyro, who offered me a sad smile.  "Let's gather up the others."  Gyro and I went to the center of the lot and waited for everyone else to come out.

"So, you've decided already, huh?"  He asked.

"Yeah.  I still don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but I don't think I'll be able to live happily here without going back first."

"I hear ya.  Well, it was nice to get to hang out with you a little bit.  Maybe we'll meet up in Cali sometime."

"That would be great."  I leaned over and hugged him, "Thanks, Gyro, for everything."  He smiled at me, that cute boyish smile.  We separated as the rest of the lot members came out to see what was up.  Bryson stood by my side and began to speak.

"Everyone, Joey has something he'd like to tell all of you."

I looked down at the ground then back up at my peers.. my family.  "I want to thank all of you for helping me as much as you have.  Without you I would never have made it this far."  I paused and looked straight at Trevor.  He looked at me strangely, wondering what I was getting at.  "I-I'm leaving.  I'm going back to California."  I watched his reaction.  I saw his eyes start to glow a little bit, but he quickly turned his face away.  I watched as he turned around and ran off.  Michael called out after him, but it was of no use.

"So this is goodbye?"  Taryn asked.

"For now."

He came up and wrapped his arms around me.  I could feel his tears as he cried on my shoulder.  "Try to keep in touch okay?"

"I will.  I looked at Justin, who had a faint glow in his eyes as well.  I leaned over and kissed Taryn on the cheek.  "Thanks for being so great to me.  Justin's a very lucky guy."  He smiled at me through his tears.

Justin walked up next and hugged me as well.  "I'll let that kiss slide."  He joked.

"Hehe, okay.  What about this one?"  I kissed him on the cheek as well.  He laughed and went back to his place beside Taryn. I looked at Dylan who was crying fairly hard at this point.  I walked up to him and hugged him tight.

"My roomy.  You're a keeper, Dylan.  Thanks for giving me a place to stay."  I leaned down and kissed him lightly on the lips, causing him to turn so red I thought he'd explode.

"I'll miss you, Joey."

One by one each member of the lot came up to me and said their goodbyes.  Tears were shed, goodbyes were said.  I walked to the gate with the few belongings I had.  I looked back at everyone standing there waving and watching me.  I'm leaving the people I've grown to love, a family.  Hopefully not forever.

I walked quickly to the train station.  I figured it'd be easier to hop a train car than walk all the way back to California.  I looked at the schedule and found out a train was leaving for California in 20 minutes.  I set my stuff down on a bench and sat down.  I hope I'm doing the right thing.  Out of nowhere someone sat down beside me.  I looked up to see Trevor.  His blonde hair a little disheveled, his beautiful brown eyes glowing from the tears.

"W-why are you doing this to me?"  He asked.

"I'm not doing this to you.. I'm doing this for me."

"You can't go back to him.. back to the life you left there."

"I know.  I just need to fix things my own way, Trevor."

"What about me?  Huh?  What about my feelings.. I love you, Joey and you're leaving me behind.  You're just like Gyro."  He started to stand up, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.

"Trevor, when I first came out of my transformation I thought you were the biggest prick in the world.  You were mean, callous and heartless to me and everyone around you.  In the last month you've changed that image.  You showed me love, and it means a lot to me."  I leaned over and kissed him passionately one last time.  He stood up abruptly, this time shrugging my arm off.

"Fuck you, Joey.  Fuck you.  You think I really wanted to be with you? No you're just a cheap fuck like everyone else.  I'm glad you're leaving, good riddance.  You can take a long walk in the sun for all I care."

"If saying that is making you feel better then keep on doing so."  The train to California pulled up, "But Trevor?"  He grudgingly looked at me.  "I love you too."  I threw him a rose and stepped on to the train.  I looked on as he stood there watching me leave.  Trevor.. the love I left behind.
 
 
 

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