Date: Sun, 29 Apr 2007 08:38:58 +0000
From: Jack Smith <js_mas@hotmail.com>
Subject: New Beginnings 10

     WEEK TEN - THE RETURN


     FIRSTDAY

     Another farewell in morning gloom.  Do-Si and I stood
and watched  as the depleted column started its climb on its
way back to NewTown.  The pace was slower in consideration
for the wounded, but urgency could still be felt.  Wi-Su was
in the middle of the column - he did not look at me.  Father
stayed until last, letting the column move out of sight,
before embracing me in a fond goodbye.  "Be as quick as you
can," he whispered in my ear, "I seem to spend all my time
without you."
     With my mute nod he let go, inflicted a pert smack on
the backside of Do-Si along with an imprecation to look
after his son, mounted Trugo and galloped after the departed
column without looking back.
     When he also was out of sight Do-Si, mock rubbing his
backside, said, "Wi-Su asked me to pass on his respects and
to say goodbye for him.  He will try to put your plan into
action."
     Again a mute nod was my only response, but after
staring up the road for a while I said, "We'll go back to
bed and try to get some sleep."
     But sleep wouldn't come.  My thoughts filled with loss
and future sadness, worried for Father, worried for Wi-Su,
worried.  Light grew a little, and I decided to try to sleep
in the hut, to speed my labour.  I woke Do-Si, who had
suffered none of my insomnia, to let him know where I was
going, invoking him to go back to sleep.  I soaked first in
the pool to relax before making my way naked into the hut,
letting its magic dry me and keep me warm.  The water had
seemed to have less than its usual effect, but I found that
when I lay on the bed my limbs, cushioned on the magic of
the bed, felt heavy and my mind finally stopped.  I slept.
Like one drugged I was unconscious in moments, and no sooner
unconscious my mind filled with images and words that flowed
like water over the huge falls I had seen with Wi-Su.
      When I returned to consciousness I felt as if I had
undertaken several days hard labour without rest.  I was
exhausted, so much so that it took a while for me to notice
that I was thinking double.  I looked at a chair, and as
well as thinking `chair' I thought another sound that,
though completely different, also meant `chair'.  Any phrase
or thought had its echo in this strange other speech.  "Is
this the language of The One?" I thought to myself, twice.
Strangely an answer came back to this, `Which One?'.  I
didn't know whether I had heard this or thought it.  My head
swivelled round and round, finally resting on the one thing
in the room that had changed.  My new language had a name
for it.  "Housputer", and its gems were glowing.  It
seemingly had woken up.
     In fear I leapt from the bed without analysing what had
been said to me, and flew out of the hut, jumping off the
cliff in my eagerness to escape, my feet hitting the ground
running.  In the centre of the grassed area I turned and
looked back.  Nothing had changed.  I backed away, now
keeping a careful eye to make sure nothing followed me.  I
must have jumped the height of a forearm when a voice said,
"Now, I do like that.  Is that our new dress code?"
     I spun around to find a smiling Do-Si.  My thoughts so
far away from normality, it was a while before I caught on
to the significance of his meaningful downward glances and
also looked down.  In my mad escape I had not dressed.  With
this the comical nature of my flight hit me and I erupted in
laughter.  Not knowing the joke but infected Do-Si let out
loud guffaws as well.  Soon we were hugging each other,
trying to settle the heaving of our bodies so we could talk.
Before this was achieved though Do-Si's skilful hand found
my lizlion, and instead of talking we were rolling around on
the buoyant, damp grass.  This just about killed our
laughter, though an occasional giggle still escaped, and
when we had finished fucking we lay in each other's arms and
I managed to tell him what I had experienced in the hut.  I
spoke to him in my new language but he looked at me blankly.
It seemed strange as what I had said had seemed so clear to
me, so simple.
     "What did that sound like?" I asked.
     "Like a madwoman speaking with her mouth full of shit!"
Do-Si was his usual self.
     "I think this shitful mouth is the language of The
One!"
     "Oh, oh.  I have blasphemed!"  When he saw I was
serious though his cheeky grin turned down and looked
worried.  "You are serious!"
     "Do-Si, that I am.  I learnt this language while I was
sleeping in the hut just a little before."
     "So why did you come running down here like a mad
thing?"
     "When I woke up I heard a voice speaking to me, but the
hut was empty."
     "A ghost!"
     "I don't know.  But I felt a lot of fear.  I feel
better now."  And I did.  Lovemaking had expelled the fear,
and one could not stay too serious with Do-Si.
     "A voice talking!  That is reason to have fear.  If The
One spoke to me I would die!"
     "I don't know if it was The One.  Why would The One
speak to me!"
     "You!  The Hero!  Who better?"
     "You exaggerate my abilities, Do-Si, but thankyou for
your flattery."  I examined my memory of what had happened,
trying to recreate rationally all that had happened in
panic.  "But, no, I don't think it was The One.  In fact as
far as I can recall the voice said `What One?' when I asked
myself a question about this new language."
     "Well, I guess The One wouldn't ask who he was."
     "Though maybe he doesn't call himself The One.  I guess
I'm going to have to go back and ask.  Nothing dangerous
seems to have happened.  Will you come with me?" I asked, my
voice not expressing the confidence of my words.
     Do-Si was also pretty doubtful, but bravely said, "I
won't go inside the hut.  And I'll need some clothes!"
     "I think I'll feel more confident with clothes - and
thankyou."

     Do-Si said nothing, just nodded and stepped back, as I
pushed open the door of the hut.  I closed it behind me with
great trepidation, remaining on my feet with my back against
it as I nervously surveyed the room.  All seemed as I had
left it, including the glowing jewels on the housputer.
"Hello," I announced nervously.
     This time it was definitely a voice.  "Hello."  It
spoke in my new language.  And with the voice a person
appeared in the middle of the room.  Before I had made any
significant response to its presence, that is before I had
managed to do more than half push down the door handle, the
voice continued, "Don't go.  You are safe here.  I will do
you no harm."
     My heart felt like it was trying to leave my chest, my
knees were jelly.  I tried to talk but sputtered dry.
     "Lie down again and we'll be able to talk better,"
continued the apparition in the middle of the room.  "You
are a handsome lad!"
     Torn between complying and escaping I did not move.
     The apparition did not move, nor seem to look at me in
anyway.  "I see.  I guess you are a bit frightened.   Look,
go away now, come back when you are feeling braver."
     This was all I needed and I was out the door, crashing
into Do-Si.  "I saw a ghost!" I cried.
     Do-Si looked at me without comprehension.
     "I saw a ghost," I cried again, reverting to my mother
tongue.
     "Let's go," and started for the ladder at a run.
     Safely at the bottom and a long distance from the
ladder base, we stopped, looking back to make sure we
weren't being followed.  Once again nothing happened.
Nothing followed, light rain continued to fall.   I closed
my eyes and willed myself to calm down.  I inspected my
memory of what had happened, attempting rationality even
though what happened had no explanation that could be
considered rational.  I saw a ghost!  It spoke to me!  But
on review it had not threatened me in any way, just the
opposite, it had been very reassuring.  It had even given me
permission to leave.  But it could be a trap, lulling me
into a sense of security so it could have its way with me
without having to fight.
     When I had slowed enough I recounted to Do-Si what I
had seen.  He was all in favour of getting on our horses and
following the still fresh trail of the others and return
home.  As I talked though I realised that my analysis had
not been rational.  I had slept in the hut a number of
times.  If the ghost had wanted to hurt me it could have
done so at any time while I had been asleep.  I had already
been at its mercy.  Also, I remembered what Hi-Tu had told
me, how he had tried to enter while I had been sleeping and
the door had refused to open.  I explained this to Do-Si,
but he failed to see this as reassuring.  Strangely his
opposition reinforced my belief that my panic had been
unnecessary.  That I could safely go and confront the ghost,
find out what it wanted.  But not immediately.
     "Do-Si, lets spar for a bit, then we can hunt for some
meat for lunch."
     "If my Lord says so, that is what we will do.  It is
difficult living along side a hero!"
     "Have courage!  I will not let you come to harm."
     "Thankyou, my Lord."
     Do-Si's usual irreverent nature had vanished for the
moment, and he spoke with deep sincerity.  This felt a bit
strange but I let it go as he seemed much calmer following
my reassurance.  Not that a few words on my part would have
any effect on a ghost!  We sparred vigorously then mounted
our horses once we had cooled to go in search of game.  This
proved to be as easy a task as it had when I was with Hi-
Tui, and soon we were returning.  Do-Si lit a fire and
prepared the animal for roasting.  With all this, muscles
tired from exertion, stomachs full of succulent meat, we
were relaxed and truly ready for siesta.

     FORDAY

     Three days had passed and I still felt unready to face
my ghost.  Do-Si and I lived like we were children, camping
out and having a good time, with no responsibilities.  We
sparred, we fucked, we hunted, we joked.  With only he
present I felt I could drop my social position and truly
relax, just two young men together.  I did not realise my
position of heir had been a heavy weight on me, until its
absence.  It felt good, and I found myself wanting to avoid
forever returning to face the real world and the dangers
that awaited.  Our escape came to an end late in the
afternoon of Forday, with the appearance of Wi-Su.
     I was so pleased to see him, to know that he was well,
and I was so distant from my normal social role, that on
seeing him I embraced him with all my might, kissing him
fully on the lips.  "Father, you have returned," I whispered
into his ear.
     "Yes, I am back."
     When I released him Do-Si took my place in his arms,
cuddling and kissing affectionately.  Soon though the smell
of roasting meat drew Wi-Su's attention from our greetings,
and he let us know that he had not eaten for 2 days.  Do-Si
busied himself organising the meal, adding extra rice, while
I sat with Wi-Su.  He told of his escape from the returning
party, how he had slipped away in the dark, maintaining his
direction by keeping a hand constantly in touch with the
tunnel wall.  The journey without light had seemed to take
forever, constantly in fear of hearing horse hoofs chasing
him so not game to stop and rest.  Eventually he returned to
open skies and galloped to put as much distance between
himself and the tunnel mouth as possible before light
failed.  He slept fitfully, pestered mercilessly by insects,
then rode on at first light.  He did appear tired, and he
showed some of his many red spots.  But he made light of it,
expressing his great joy of seeing me again.  I suggested
that if anyone should return we would say that he had lost
his way in the dark of the tunnel and had decided to return
here rather than try to traverse the tunnel without light in
pursuit of the group.  He nodded to this.
     The meat was going to be a while so I suggested,
forgetting my fears in the pleasure of having Wi-Su again by
my side, that we mount the ladder and bathe in the pool.
When appraised of the nature of the pool, how it was similar
to the other we had shared, Wi-Su agreed with alacrity.  Arm
in arm we walked over the springy grass, then I showed Wi-Su
the mysteries of the ladder.  This fascinated him, but I
suggested that we return to this at another time, just using
its magic to mount the cliff for the present.  At the pool
edge he calmly stepped out of his clothes, revealing his
insect ravaged body to me in its entirety in the failing
light of day.  On excuse of examining his wounds I inspected
him closely, including his hairy chest and his sticky-out
dick with its ample skin, and though my body responded as
usual to his closeness his remained soft and relaxed, even
when I stroked it as I examined a particularly large red
bite and pulled out an offending insect.  We lowered ourself
in the magic water of the pool, Wi-Su taking a position of
the step below me and resting back between my legs, his arms
hooked over my legs.  I remembered again the wonderful time
we had spent at the valley of the waterfall as I massaged
his scalp and temples, sighs escaping his lips as he
relaxed.
     And he began to talk.  "I have done nothing to deserve
his wrath," he started, tears straining his voice.  "I have
served him well with all my heart, I have no thought that is
not for his benefit and for the benefit of NewTown.  Why has
he turned against me?"
     Though I knew the answer to this, I was unable to
answer the question.  I remained silent and continued my
massage, always acutely award of the pressure of his back
against my hard lizlion, feeling the trembling of his sobs
between my thighs.
     "What am I going to do?"
     And so, strangely, began the last, albeit brief,
interlude of peace and contentment in my life,.  "We can
think on that," I said.  I have many days of work before I
can think of returning.  We have food, we have shelter, we
have each other.  We can think about that later."
     In response to my touch, my voice, my words, Wi-Su
slowly quietened, accepting my somewhat empty reassurance
and ceasing questioning his future.  "Thankyou my son," he
said from the heart.
     Unwillingly letting him escape from my embrace I said,
"Let's join Do-Si for some food.  It must be ready by now."
Wi-Su slowly rose and left the pool, I as always taking
advantage of the opportunity to view his handsome body.
"Look, all your spots are gone!"
     "And I no longer itch!  These pools of the ancients
contain powerful magic!"

     That night, stomachs full, the three of us cuddled
together for comfort, I wished that this would continue
forever.  Do-Si had let Wi-Su know that I knew of their
relationship, so both I and Wi-Su could make love to Do-Si
without any constraint.  Wi-Su wanted to repeat our last
time, with Wi-Su taking Do-Si's mouth and I his arse, my
tongue having freedom to play with the arse and balls of Wi-
Su.  This was as close as I ever got to making love with Wi-
Su.  He always remained my father, and never approached me
in a sexual manner.  He didn't stop me touching him but he
never responded to anyone other than Do-Si.

     FIFDAY


     Then next day I found courage to enter the hut once
again.  My phantom again waited for me, but this time I
managed to remain calm.  I spoke with the phantom and he
spoke with me, but the image of the phantom never varied,
its lips never moved.  It appeared to be a man of some 11
years of age, with facial features that reminded me of
Father and Wi-Su.  I asked questions and he answered, but
often they did not make sense.
     "Are you The One?" I asked.
     "What one?" he replied.
     "Who are you?" I asked.
     "The housputer," he replied.
     I looked at the box with the glowing jewels.  It was
the housputer, not this phantom standing in front of me.  I
approached him, but he always remained the same distance
away from me.  I could not trap him.  If I had him between
me and a corner and walked towards the corner, bit by bit,
without making any movement, he moved into the corner, until
suddenly he was no longer there, but when I turned around he
was behind me, watching me.
     "The housputer is that box there," I pointed.  So what
are you?"
     "Who is `you'?"
     With which the phantom disappeared, but the voice
continued.  "Maybe the image confuses you?"
     "Image?" I asked.
     "Let me try this.  But before I do, should I call for
help?"
     "Help?"
     "You know, a task force to clear up the mess this
planet has become."
     Thinking of Father and the danger he was facing, of Wi-
Su and the danger he faced, not having any idea of what was
being talked about, I answered, "Yes."
     And with this a sparkling appeared in the centre of the
room.  The phantom reappeared, but now it moved, it had
facial expression, it began to talk.  After a while, when I
realised that nothing dangerous was going to happen, I sat
on the bed.  This is what was said.

     The Story of Eli

     Please be aware that this is just an image of me.  I
cannot hear or see you. The housputer says that 432 of the
years of this planet have passed since I started to record
this.  My name is Eli.  This is my hut, my hideaway, that I
dreamt of being paradise.  I live here now, hiding from the
town, hiding from my grief.  I had built this to be my
health, with its succour trying to replace what I have lost.
I have money from the contract I filled, a contract that has
poisoned my soul.  So I have spent the money to make me
healthy, to neutralise the venom that eats away inside.  I'm
not sure how successful it has been.  I programmed the hut
program to appear inconspicuous, so no one would bother me,
but inside everything was installed that could be installed
to make me comfortable.  I had been lucky to find this
hanging valley, or maybe fate was just playing a last cruel
joke, a location that did not invite investigation, and that
had not to deep below is an unending supply of thermal
energy to power the house and its pool.  The bioware was a
standard purchase - I did not want to draw attention to
myself - but I know how these things are built, how to give
them the tweaks to turn economy into luxury.  Did you like
the instant drying on entering the hut?  That was one of my
tweaks.  What most people don't know is that there is only
one version of these products, the luxury - if you buy a
standard version it is a luxury version with numerous things
crippled.  I know how to remove the restraints - I should as
I was involved in producing this model for 70 years.  I
didn't make it into a mansion though, as it would have drawn
too much attention.  But I am repeating myself.
     So what brought me to this forsaken planet, where it
rains without end and the sun is never seen.  The answer is
not so simple.  One answer is that I was running away from a
relationship gone wrong.  One that was crippling my soul.  A
man who would not leave me but also would not stay, and who
I did not have the strength to throw out.  So I ran away.
But then I needed money, as I was leaving all behind when I
ran.  Everything had been in his name, though I bought
everything.  So the lucrative contract that was offered,
drawing on my original qualifications as a nuclear engineer,
was my way out.  A contract offered by people of my own
Earthrace too.  Serbs where not easy to find now, there had
been so few by the time of the great exodus due to
persecution by all the races around us.  Now I think this
maybe a good thing.  That no one else had been willing to
touch the contract, why so much money was offered for
something that in truth required so little skill, did not
concern me at the time.  I just wanted to escape.  And
escape I have.  I am now completely alone.
     When I arrived I wasn't though.  I was dined and feted
like a long lost relative.  The original contract had spoken
of setting up a small nuclear reactor to provide power for a
primitive colony on a primitive planet.  That nuclear power
was illegal in most of the universe did not concern me much.
I assumed that there was not enough money for the standard
high efficiency solar power units or the newer geothermal
taps.  I assumed wrong, of course.  There was plenty of
money, enough to smuggle sufficient quantity of weapons
grade uranium to make two bombs.  Not that they knew there
was enough for two - it was believed that I constructed only
one bomb.  The second remains in the heart of the town,
concealed, waiting for the call of my primitive little radio
transmitter to wake it to its incandescent life.
     I arrived to great fanfare, but I immediately felt that
the planet was overwhelmed by unease so great that no one
seemed to dare to talk of anything significant aloud.  I was
welcomed to a town consisting of my Earthrace, the leader of
whom was a handsome, charismatic man who wooed me with
everything except his bed.  He worked hard to keep me
isolated, under his control.  I was feted, but I was always
at his table.  He took me hunting for lizlions, not that
there was much skill needed for that, but he was always at
my side.  He took me into his house, shared his thermal pool
with me, letting me see his muscular, hairy body, offered me
girls to warm my bed.  Offered even to share those girls
with me.  But the girls did not tempt me at all, nor did
seeing his coarse body and thick prick in action.  I
probably made my first mistake at this point, by suggesting
he save himself for his wife, that I could look after
myself.  The twitch of eyebrow, harshening of his lascivious
smile, told me that a mark of a fairly dark colour, if not
black, had been placed against my name.
     After this my "guard" was tightened further.  My
dinners became lonely events, his visits the only ones that
broke my isolation.  It was then I learned of the true
reason for my being here.  And that if I did not fulfil that
purpose I would not leave my "prison" alive.  If I did I
would receive my money as he was a honourable man, but he
would know my lips were sealed by my complicity and
involvement in such a great crime.  The manufacture of an
atomic bomb.  Like those that devastated parts of ancient
Earth in our primitive past.  The primitive is no so far
away, it would seem.
     He gave me time to think, but there seemed no escaping
my evil fate.  I built his bomb.  But I also built another,
my revenge.  And I was allowed to go.  I thought that I
would take my money, which had been freely given, and escape
off planet to anywhere else, to put this stain as far behind
me as was possible.  But on being released to fend for
myself I discovered that the ship that had brought me to Nu-
Chin was the last that had been allowed to land.  The leader
had cut all contact with the outside universe.
     Why am I afraid to say his name?  The image of him
sitting on the edge of the thermal pool, stroking his gross
member awake as he told me about the girls he could supply
for me, the filthy, cruel things he would do to them with my
help, still fills my nightmares.  He is Evil incarnate.  He
is the Devil.  So why am I afraid to say his name?  Because
he made me part of that evil.  I built his bomb, I killed
for him.  He is me.  He owns my soul.  His name?  I cannot
say it yet!
     When I escaped, or rather when my usefulness was spent,
I was allowed to do whatever I wanted.  I found myself a
room with a nice, god fearing family in the town, and tried
to rationalise my guilt.  Everything I heard though
increased it, rather than providing relief though.  I had
found billeting with good people.  Initially they were very
quiet, later I found out that it was because they thought I
would report their words to him.  But I let a few negative
words about the Leader drop, looked after their children
while they worked, helped the husband with a work project
that brought him in a bonus, and they began to trust me.  It
was then, bit by bit, that I heard the true story of this
planet.  And my guilt grew even more.
     Nu-Chin had been a planet that no-one wanted, its
unbroken cloud cover, draggingly long nights and low wet
skies putting off the most greedy developer.  But a splinter
religion, a people who took their Christianity from the
original, primitive bibles of Old Earth, grew amongst the
Chinese Earthrace in various parts of the galaxy.  These
people started pushing for their own planet where they could
practice their old fashioned virtues of piety, charity and
self-effacement without having to deal with the grossness
and greed of the outside universe.  Nu-Chin was offered,
which they took despite its problems, knowing that their
belief would see them through any difficulty, but with a
string.  That a small population of radical Earthrace Serbs
be allowed to live along side them.  This group was also
Christian, but had nothing of the charity of the Chinese.
Of this it would appear the Chinese were not informed.
     And amongst this group came a man whose only goal was
dominion, who little by little stirred his people to react
against the "domination" of the Chinese.  This domination
came from them having more positions on the governing
council based on their superior numbers, there being 10
Chinese for every Serb.  Little by little he stoked the
fires of racism, of prejudice, of fear.  Of course, with
their belief, the Chinese did not react in anyway, nor did
they fight when an armed coup overcame the elected council
and the Leader took control.  The one that I cannot name.
     Nor did they react when they were forcibly transported
to a new town, in truth a collection of tents without any
infrastructure.  One million people living without clean
water, without sanitation, without paved streets.  They just
placidly lived on without complaint, building their new town
with their own hands as no machines were supplied.  Many
moved into the countryside to farm and thrive.
     This is what my hosts told me.  Good people.  Serbs who
hated the Leader, but who feared for their life and for
their children, and so said nothing.  Internally I
criticised their passivity, but whom was I to have an
opinion of wrong doing.
     With the money I had earned I had no need to work for
many, many years.  This planet might offer nothing in the
way of entertainment, but it also gives no opportunity to
spend money.  So I decided to explore, and this is how I met
Mo-Xi.  Suspecting I was still being watched I did not go
directly to the new Chinese settlement.  Instead I jumped a
supply truck and travelled through the tunnel to the other
side of the mountain range ostensibly on a day trip to see
the massive waterfall now named after the Leader, who had
placed a little retreat for himself and his cronies at its
entrance.  But I had not told my hosts that I had with me
the seed of a small flier that needed only to be positioned
near a source of ore and energy to grow.  I knew that the
valley was quite unstable geologically, and that geothermal
energy lay near the surface in many places.  The waterfall
and the mountain range that separated Nu-Chin City from the
river valley was the result of a relatively recent tectonic
plate movement.
     The waterfall was impressive, and I enjoyed its power
and clambered around the hills exploring and identifying the
local fauna and flora while I awaited the growth of my seed.
Local development was at the level of early amphibian, with
few land species to discover.  Plants were primitive and
unpalatable, but were already showing signs of invasion by
introduced species that thrived without significant
competition.  As soon as my flyer was sufficiently mature I
went in search of the tent city.
     It was a dirty place.  There were no sealed roads and
with the constant precipitation all the ground was intrusive
mud, and the sanitation was primitive at best.  Smells that
I had never experience assaulted my sensitivities and I
almost left the moment I arrived.  I pushed on though,
knowing it was not the fault of the people who lived here
but rather of the One who I hated.  People looked at me, but
I wandered unchallenged, the day-to-day life on open display
amongst their primitive habitations.  It was the day that
changed my life.   I had ventured on a fairly straight-line
course for the centre of the town, visible from a great
distance as it consisted of the only formal structures of
any height in the place, for about 30 minutes when my eyes
were arrested by a sight of such beauty that my body froze.
I, a sophisticate of the galaxy and having some 150 galactic
years under my belt, stood and stared like a primitive
child.
     The grace and delicacy of the arm elevated to pour
water over the soapy head disarmed me completely.  Only arm
and head showed above the makeshift bath enclosure, but it
was enough.  Once the water had removed its soapy disguise a
face of a beauty beyond description turned as if guided by
the fire in my mind and looked at me.  The eyes met mine,
then, maybe seeing my desire, looked down as a dusky redness
burned the sloping cheekline.  They did not stay down
though.  After an eternity, my heart in asystole, they again
lifted to meet mine, telling me that my passion was echoed.
I took a step as my heart thudded back to life, but the
image lifted a hand and held it palm forward, then
everything disappeared from sight as he ducked down.
     Frozen by the hand I stood and waited, not sure how my
body was staying under control.  Waited for the most
beautiful being in existence to again lift his head.
Waited.  Nothing appeared, but the noise of the door of the
attached scrap plastiboard shanty closing pulled my eyes
away from the bath enclosure to find my vision, dressed in
shirt and loose string pull trousers advancing confidently.
I gripped the outstretched hand and listened to a sweet
voice that said, "I am Mo-Xi."
     "Eli," I managed.
     But before I go on let me show you an image of Mo-Xi so
you can see for yourself the beauty he personified.  Here he
is, dressed in his traditional tie trousers and loose shirt.
Isn't he gorgeous.  Look at his eyelashes - long and dark,
his lips, his chin - I go on too much.  The image tells it
all much more eloquently.
     And so we were introduced.  The rest of that day was
spent with him showing me around the town, what should have
been bleak as it soon started to rain transfigured to an
ethereal beauty I have never experienced.  Mo-Xi joined me
in the comfort of my flier after our tour.  He enjoyed the
sealed dryness of its interior, living as he did in never
changing damp.  He spoke of his parents, his life.  He did
not share the passivity of outlook of his parents in
response to the way his people had been treated, but felt
himself to be unable to do much about it.
     I took him for a tour in the flier -  in the short time
I had spent here, in the few days I had travelled, I had
seen more of his planet than he had seen even though his
whole life had been spent here and I had only been here a
few short months.  The primitiveness of Mo-Xi's life amazed
me.  They had no machines.  Washing was by hand, cooking
over fires of dried timber, if it could be found.  Only the
induced genetic resistance, standard for colonisers of a new
planet, prevented this nightmare existence being transformed
into an enormous death rate.  And so it had been for the 5
years since the exile had occurred.  No wonder that young
people like Mo-Xi were starting to question the religion of
their elders.  It also raised in my mind the arrogance of a
people thinking that they can dictate the beliefs of their
children by moving them to a planet where they had no other
alternatives.
     But I did not say any of this to Mo-Xi.  We spoke of
sweet things, of his joy in the care of his animals, his
pigs.  How he would walk them for hours to find food that
they could eat, how with a wooden spear he defended them
from the primitive amphibian predators of this planet.  The
interest in the different fish and animal types, the variety
that demonstrated the evolution of life to higher, more
complex forms.  His formal education was minimal - he could
count and write - but the speed of understanding of his
mind, though he did not have the concepts often to express
himself, showed an acute intelligence.
     The day passed and he returned home.  I did not as much
as touch him.  Such primitive societies often had taboos
against same sex love and I didn't want to frighten him.
But he met me again next day, and so our romance began.
Over the next weeks we travelled much of the planet, and we
became lovers.  He received computer education - though he
was adult and couldn't connect directly with a computer he
managed to absorb a lot of the information - and became
dissatisfied with the narrow world of his childhood.  So we
came to talk about making our new home, away from
everything.  We dreamed and schemed, planned and searched.
Eventually this little valley found us - it was bare rock
but I explained how it could be easily transformed if I
could find the seeds and he rapturously saw my vision.
     He returned to visit his parents while I returned to my
lodging to search for a vendor of the seeds I wanted.  My
friends were happy to see me.  They had been concerned for
my well being, having been away so long.  I told them I had
visited the Chinese shanty town, and their faces clouded.  I
thought this strange, as they had been so upset with the
treatment of the Chinese before.  They counselled me to stay
away, but would not explain.  So I stayed away, but only
while I went from backstreet stall to upmarket store
searching for what I wanted.  After following many leads I
finally found that which I had been seeking, and went to bed
full of joy.  Tomorrow I would visit Mo-Xi and we would
start our life together.
     But my dreams were strangely violent and broken.  I
awoke early, in darkness of the long night, but decided not
to wait longer.  I lifted vertically to minimise noise and
pointed the flier in the direction of the rising sun, at
least what showed of it through the dismal clouds.  It
didn't occur to me that it was too early for such light, or
that the direction was a little off.  It was not until I was
about 200 km of the shanty town, as my radiation counters
started to scream, that I realised something was wrong.
Then I saw the smoke.
     I dived into it in anguish, but the autopilot of the
flier assumed control and took me away.  When I returned to
my lodging I now began to hear what I had been deaf to - the
words of the Chinese rot, yellow mould, that with numeric
superiority would overrun their superiors.  And of first
strike and cleansing fire.
     I left with my seeds, saying nothing so as to give no
reason to be followed.  My anger, my grief, seeing the
blossoming fruit of my labour devour that more important to
me than life.  My seeds grew me my house, my hermitage.  My
depression passed with the weeks though, as it is not part
of my character, genetically programmed for stability as it
had been, yet my grief remained a nagging evil prompting
revenge.  Eventually I surfaced enough to send little aerial
spies to see what passed in the world I had shunned, spies I
had originally conceived as maintaining our safety and
privacy in our hidden world.  The spies returned with images
of ethnic Chinese being dragged from their distant farms and
brought to Nu-Chin city, meeting their fate amongst the
cheers of a bloodthirsty populace.
     The Leader planned total extermination.  My heart
decided for me my path, my reason justified that if the
"innocents" would not stand up to the Leader and his evil
then they merited their fate.  My Earthrace are not evil by
nature.  They are a good generous people.  But it seems they
are volatile and gullible also.
     I have now finished my recording.  I will sneak into Nu-
Chin with my little radio transmitter and finish what I
started.  At the time I secretly put together the second
bomb I had not been happy that I could not find a
transmitter with greater power, one that would function from
outside the blast zone.  But I had no freedom to search and
no explanation I could give to supply the parts I wanted.
Now I think that fate played its hand well.  I do not
deserve to live on after.
     And now, before I bring him my truth, I must say his
name.
     It is not a Serb name.  The Serb race disowns him.
     His name is Pushmal.

     WEEK TEN - THE RETURN - CONTINUED


     FIFDAY (Continued)


     I sat for a long time after listening to this monolog.
I tried to take it in, to understand what had been said.  I
knew the words, all had been taught to me.  But even though
I knew the words and understood the phrases, it still didn't
make sense.  Finally I said aloud, "I don't understand."
     The same little man, without expression or movement
now, reappeared.  "What didn't you understand?"
     I had come to realise that this image appeared when the
houseputer spoke, but that it wasn't the housputer but
rather the image of the man who had lived in this house.
Like a sort of painting.  "I think everything."
     "Everything is a very big word."
     "It is.  Where is The One?"  Hi-Tui had postulated that
these people were the One, but from what I had heard they
seemed just like ordinary people, though they could do
extraordinary things.
     "Which one?"
     "There is only one One.  He is the God who looks after
us.  He lives in the sky, the clouds are the bottom of his
world."
     "Nothing like that exists in my memory.  Above the
clouds is space, and out in space there are many stars and
other worlds.  Are you sure this one lives above the
clouds?"
     "No, I'm not sure.  It is what I believed.  It is our
religion."
     "Religion.  I see.  Something in which one has faith
but in reality doesn't exist.  Now I understand.  Well, I
guess this leaves your One just where he was before.  In
your imagination."
     "Something in which one has faith but in reality
doesn't exist," I repeated, dumbfounded.  Even though Father
and I had spoken of the non-existence of The One, it was
only the existence of the simplified form as it was
presented to the populace that we questioned, not the
presence of The One.  "I think I need some time to think
about this."
     "Fine.  I have many educational documents here that you
can peruse if you wish.  Would you like me to print some for
you?"
     My reply was a nonplussed nod, and almost immediately a
pile of sheets of a paper like material started slipping
from a previously non-existent slot above the bench.   I
watched for a while, then collected the sheets.  They were
strange in their texture, smooth, slippery.  They almost
fell from my hands.  Each was covered with many lines of
fine, very regular print of a lettering I did not know, but
at the same time found I could read.  The language of the
ancients.
     I felt overwhelmed, in need of someone with whom I
could talk.  Holding the sheets firmly I backed out the
door, then walked, maybe a bit fast as I was trying to
restrain myself from running, and dropped down the cliff, as
I fell my eyes searched for Wi-Su.  I needed his wisdom.
The warm, comforting mass we formed last night seemed a
world away, another life.
     I found him talking with Do-Si, laughter and mirth
emanating from their pairing like smoke from a fire.  I felt
immensely alone, even though they immediately opened their
tete a tete to allow space for me.  I felt like the water
poured on the fire.  Their laughter quenched, a frown
replacing Wi-Su's smile as he gazed at my forsaken face.
After a short examination of that object, Wi-Su gestured to
Do-Si to leave us.  "What is it, my son?" he asked when Do-
Si was out of earshot.
     My reply was to burst into sobs and present the pile of
strange paper.  And his response was to ignore the paper and
take me into his arms, enfolding me in their strength,
comforting me as a father would a son.  When I had settled I
presented to him what I had witnessed, again showing him the
paper.  I think without it he would have thought I had been
dreaming, but its strange texture, the amazing evenness of
the letters, the complete illegibility to him.
     "You can read this," he asked.
     I nodded, starting to read aloud what was there, with a
description of the structure of the universe, until Wi-Su
interrupted me with,  "I can't understand what you are
saying!  You are just making noise!"
     "This the language of the Ancients, Wi-Su."
     "Maybe it is, but there is no point speaking it to me
`cause I am not an Ancient.  Can't you read it normally?"
     "I don't think I can, Wi-Su.  We don't have words for
most of the things here."
     "What type of things."
     "It talking about "stars" - huge balls of fire that
burn fiercely and heat "planets", like ours."
     "Planets?"
     "Worlds.  That there is nothing above the clouds but
space."
     "Space?  Like the space inside a room?"
     "No.  I don't know what it is.  It seems to be like an
emptiness, without air. That goes on without bounds."
     "How can it be without air?  We have air here.  If it
is above the clouds, this space, then there must be air
there.  How can we have air here and there be no air there?
Are clouds like a wall that keeps air in?  Or keeps nothing
out?"
     "I don't understand, Wi-Su."
     "It is like The Book.  It is written by The One to tell
us of things.  You have seen The One, and he has recognised
your intelligence and maturity, and has given a new version
of The Book to spread in this world!  You are Chosen!"
     A look, like I had never seen in the eyes of anyone,
appeared in the eyes of Wi-Su.  At the same time he moved a
little away from me.  The comfort I had felt in his embrace
was blown away as if by a chill breeze, rising inside my
clothes and making me damp to the bone.
     "You must return and spread the Word!"
     "I can't," I whimpered.
     "It is what you were born for!"
     Not wanting to hear what he was saying, feeling so
isolated that nothing could make it worse, without
responding I stood and walked away.  Away from Wi-Su, away
from the cliff wall and its secrets, towards the ancient
road.  In darkness I followed its smooth surface, a darkness
of the soul rather than absence of light, my mind pondering
what I had heard, the little I had read.  I had noticed that
the story I had been told was amongst the sheets that I had
been given.  Eventually, feeling far enough away from
everyone to not need to go any further, I sat on a rock, at
times reading the story of Eli, at others staring vacantly
in front of me.
     And here I stay until Do-Si came to fetch me for lunch.
He did not try to talk - I believe one look at my face
dissuaded him - but I followed him docilely back to our
campsite.  I nodded to Wi-Su on returning, but did not look
at him again.  I ate the food served for me, followed when I
was lead to our tent to sleep.  My mind relived all it had
seen and heard as I lay, wide-eyed, sleep as far away as it
could be.  The regular breathing of my two companions,
cuddled together beside me, should have lulled my active
thoughts.  But they continued spiralling.  What was I going
to do?  Say that The One did not exist?  Say nothing?  Or
invent a new religion using the text of the documents
presented to me by the houseputer as my "bible", one that
only I could interpret?  And if I were to be messiah of a
new religion, would this save Father from the cruel blade of
the Prince?  Could it save Wi-Su from the cruel noose of
Father?  I stared at the roof of the tent.  It was the same
tent I had looked yesterday.  I was the same person that had
lain here yesterday.  Nothing had changed in the world.  The
houseputer had sat where it sat for hundreds of years.  It
was the same.  The information it had given me was the same
as it would have been if I had visited here a year ago.  Or
100 years ago.  That much I had understood.  So why lie here
awake when nothing had changed?
     In answer to the 50th repetition of this question I
carefully got up and went outside.  I looked up at the
cliff, drawn and frightened, and decided to sit down with my
new "bible" and began to read.  Some bible it proved to be.
There were descriptions of how to make skylights, where tar
could be found and its uses, the basics of drainage and
water supply.  All illustrated with clearly drawn diagrams.
There were also detailed instructions of how to build
something called a steam engine that sounded rather
interesting, and many others I did not fully understand.  I
read the story that had been narrated to me in the hut,
taking more in this time.  Then the final part of my new
treasure, a short tour of the populated universe.  And my
mind was completely lost again.
     When my friends stirred and joined me outside I believe
I had not moved as much as an eyelash.  I lifted my head to
their greeting, however, and smiled in response to the
tentative lifting of the corners of their mouths.
     "I think it is time to go home," I said.
     "Right now?" asked Do-Si.
     "No.  First light tomorrow.  If we don't stop we maybe
can get through the marshes."
     "And I?" asked Wi-Su.
     "You would be safest if you went the other direction.
I believe it will take you to KingsTown.  You can hide out
there."
     "My wife?" he asked looking me in the face.
     After letting my silence draw out for a while, Do-Si
eventually said, "I'll let her know."
     I don't know what Wi-Su saw in my face, but whatever it
was he just looked down and shuffled away.  I felt nothing.
I knew only what I had always known.  My world had turned
into a grain of sand, valueless in the enormity of the
"universe".  So I had pushed it all away, all my new
knowledge, and it was as if I knew nothing.  I thought of
the long trip home, looked forward to seeing Mother.  Yu-
Lin.
     "I think we can do it in one day, just the two of us.
We can ride hard and not sleep."  I repeated to Do-Si.  He
nodded and wandered away, in a desultory fashion getting
things organised for the next day, but really just to get
away from me.  I went for a walk again.

     SIXDAY


     The morning farewell was long behind us.  The insects
were starting to make their presence felt as we neared the
lake.  I don't think Do-Si and I had exchanged more than 5
words since Wi-Su had waved and turned away.  It was while
we sat in the middle of the road, having escaped the dense
forest, eating a quick, cold lunch that Do-Si spoke.  "Why
were you so cruel to Wi-Su?" he asked.
     I looked him in the eye.  I held his eyes.  I did not
have an answer.  I did not realise I had been cruel.  I
tried to find something to say, and as I looked into his
eyes gleaming with suppressed tears I saw reflected in them
the grossness of my actions and I felt shame.  "I wanted him
to hate me, to make his exile easier," I eventually lied.
     "Oh."
     Such a tone that my heart finally cracked.  Tears
started running down my cheeks, enough to make a lake to
match that we sat beside.  Sobs again wracked my body,
painful heavings that felt that my inner organs were being
expelled.  Nonplussed, Do-Si looked on helplessly till he
finally worked up the courage to take me in his arms,
winding up the force of my sobs to a new level.
     "I can't do it," I croaked between tortured breaths.
     "There, there," said Do-Si inanely.
     But the feel of his arms around me comforted, and
gradually I calmed.  I remembered our playful days together,
and regained my trust of him as a brother, forgetting his
inferior status.  "I can't be a messiah.  I can only be me."
     "You can just be you."
     I lifted my blurred eyes and gazed into his round, tear
streaked face.  "I can just be me," I repeated.
     He held me tight, kissing the top of my head, repeating
like a childhood chant, "You can just be you."
     Slowly though it entered my head like a healing mantra
and my thoughts resumed to their accustomed paths.  My first
words were  "Do you think I can get a message to Wi-Su to
explain?"
     "I'm sure we can."
     Reassured by an uneducated soldier, my confidence
returned.  "Let's go then, Do-Si.  We have a lot of riding
to do yet.  I want to enter the tunnel tomorrow."  But the
autocratic nature of my words was softened by my tongue
cleaning his face of tears, my lips meeting his in a tender
kiss.  "Thankyou Do-Si."
     I'm sure Do-Si felt quite lost.  Forced into the role
of nurturer of his superior he acted now like a child who
had seen his parents making love.  He pretended nothing had
happened.  "For what my Lord," he said, reverting to his old
role of soldier.
     "For being you, Do-Si.  Let's go!"
     The cleared path through the brush beside the lake was
now well worn, having been passed back and forth by the
numerous carts.  We made good time through it, alternately
galloping the horses and letting them drink and eat from the
green water weed that they seemed to quite like, arriving at
the road that led up to the tunnel as day light was fading.
We pushed on to escape the insects that had plagued us the
length of the lakeshore before stopping to eat and sleep.
We made no attempt to set up a tent, just managed a fire,
with Do-Si preparing a meal while I looked after the horses.
Luckily I found them a small area of green grass by the
stream not too far away from where we had stopped so that
they could stock up for the long ride through the tunnel.  I
hoped with out carts and using lamps for lighting we would
make much better time and clear the tunnel in a day.  I gave
Kito a fond rub down, then guiltily applied Do-Si's mount
with the same attention.  Noticing the trembling of their
legs it occurred to me that we would probably be better
letting the horses rest the morrow, to recover from the
gruelling day they had put in today, and leave our assault
of the tunnel until the following evening.  Inside the
tunnel it made no difference if one travelled by day or
night.
     On telling Do-Si of the change in plan he suggested
that we set up a tent, as we would have more chance of
sleeping during the following day if we had some shelter and
comfort.  The stream here was large enough that it had banks
of a sort though fast enough that it did not provide a
breeding ground for insects, with enough level-enough ground
to fit the tent.  After eating we set up the tent by the
light of a torch, crawled in and collapsed.  In the moments
I had before sleep I contemplated how it felt good doing
things for myself rather than sitting back and watching
others look after me.

     GODDAY


     Using a rope to secure one another, we bathed in the
rapid flowing water of the stream.  It did not provide the
rejuvenation of the magic bath of the ancients, but the
cold, stinging water invigorated and refreshed.  Our youth
did the rest.  I used our rest time to investigate more
closely the wildly different plant life of this side of the
tunnel, somehow my fears having been altered by the changed
perception I had of the position of our world in the
universe.  I remembered the phrase in the Story of Eli about
introduced species, and wondered if this explained the very
different nature of some of the plant types that were
present here.  I did not really understand what an atomic
bomb was, but grasped enough to know that it was it that had
formed the depression that was currently a lake.  What power
it had!  At the centre of the depression had stood the city
of the ancients, with roads leading from it.  Eli himself
must have travelled the very road we were now travelling
when he "jumped a supply truck", but he appeared to have
moved at a much greater speed than we could manage, arriving
at the valley with the waterfall in less than a day.
Closely inspecting the plants I noted that some, those with
which I was more familiar, had multiple veins that ran in
parallel  from the central stalk to the end of the leaf,
with no change in leaf width until the very end of the leaf
where it ended in a point.  Others had a larger central vein
from which branched side veins, and from these often
branched other veins.  Maybe these were the introduced
species.
     It was good to feel my intellect functioning again, my
thoughts turning and twisting trying to order the world
around me.  I had felt so overwhelmed by all that had
passed, in fear for the life of those I loved, in fear of
what I was to become, that my brain had overloaded.  Looking
back I knew that the words that Do-Si had chanted to me had
not been said with any deep meaning, but they had served to
return me to my sense of self.  And it felt good to be
myself.  Not the self I now was had much to do with the self
I was a few short weeks ago, but it was good to be him
anyway.  I believe I had truly grown up.
     I tried not to dwell too much on the future.  To know
that our world was a speck in an infinite universe did not
resolve the problem that the future King wanted Father dead,
along with my mother and I.  But it helped put a perspective
on it, so I could handle it better.  And become myself
again.
     Looking at a range of plants there did not seem to be
any that were somewhere between the two types.  Either the
veins were parallel or branched.  No parallel with a few
branches, or branched with the end being parallel.  So as Wi-
Su would have said, as my theory fitted available evidence,
it was as good as I would get for the present.  This thought
of Wi-Su caused me to smile - I suspected that he would
understand what I had been through and forgive me for my
harsh words.
     I went in search of Do-Si, my always willing partner in
sex.  I found him with the horses, but I enticed him back to
bed where we made love and slept.  The previous day had worn
on us too, not just the horses, and we slept for a long
time.  On waking we took our time getting organised, packing
up everything, filling our water sacks to their limit,
cooking food for easy eating later.  Then after a big meal
we started the final leg to the tunnel.
     I approached the tunnel with confidence.  It was no
longer unknown - it was a tunnel made to take trucks from
one side of the mountain to another.  It was not mysterious,
and it had an end.  The lamps lit our way well and we
managed quite a quick pace but it still felt like we had
been travelling a long time when hunger caused us to stop,
with no sign of an end to the darkness or the smooth walls
that formed the borders of our new world.  We ate slowly,
and remained silent after as the sound of our voices echoing
in the darkness was off-putting.  With our steeds a little
rested, but looking weary and dry all the same, we refilled
the lamps and mounted for what we hoped would be the last
stage of the tunnel.  Which it proved to be.  Time was a
relative thing, and the trip through had seemed an age, but
the return had been quite manageable, though it was
difficult to know once again how long it had taken.  When
the first hint of light appeared ahead I wondered if we had
been voyaging in this timeless tunnel for 1 day or two.